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Meta in Equestria 3: D&D part 2

By: Lurking_Giant on May 30th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 13.14 KB | hits: 61 | expires: Never

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>Moving to the table you take a seat next to MA. You lay out your stuff and check over your character sheet. You make sure your bards’ spells are reset from last session and everything is ready. DAT is helping SA with his character. He may be a fucking moron when he played but you had to admit DAT knew how to build a character. He had started planning his own character weeks before you guys had started playing and had every level of his character planed out in advance from 1 to 20. If only he put that much thought into playing. You look over to MA who is spinning his d20 on the table like a top.
Quick reference guide.
Text without quotes = them talking to each other around the table
“Text with quotes = them talking in character”
*Text with asterisk = them saying their character is performing that action*
For those who have never played D&D, when you see this “rolls 1d20-5 = 1” it means that character is rolling a 20 sided dice to perform a complex action such as searching an area, hiding or dodging an attack. The higher the result the more likely it is to succeed, lower results means a failed action or in the case of a roll of 1 may cause epic failure and wacky hijinks to ensue.
#23: So looks like FFA is late
>MA: Yeah he said he was going to stop and get more soda on his way back
#23: Ah, ok that shop is busy this time of day
>DM: Ok we have 4 here let’s get started
>MA: Yeah but he should have been back by now
#23: Maybe, what did he say he was going to do today anyway?
>DM: umm…
>MA: Not sure, he said he was going to Rarities to pick something up
#23: Not sure if Scoots is going to make it tonight
>MA: why’s that
#23: Well I saw her and the other CMC with hard hats shovels and I think a pneumatic jack hammer screaming about cutie mark crusader road repair crew or something like that.
>MA: Well if she doesn’t make it that will be 2 down with Gilda mia this week
>DM: HEY!
>Everyone looks to DM
>DM: IT’S GAME TIME FAGGOTS
>DM: Quick recap of last week. After the incident with the Elven woods you made your way into the mountains and fought a group of mountain lions that ambushed you during the night. After you defeated them Gilda cut off their heads and skinned them.
#23: Don’t forget their cocks, she cut those off to take with her too
>DAT: crazy bitch
>DM: Yeah and their dicks too. You made your way farther into the mountains and came to the hunter village where you are now. Thanks to Gildas Grizzly trophies and loud mouth boasting she was hailed as a master hunter and offered the chance to participate in there sacred festival hunt. She left with them to the woods and everyone else went to sleep before we ended it for the night. So, any questions?
>SA: Yeah why did you tell us all that when the 4 of us were here last week and know this shit already?
>DM: It called exposition. Now let’s get going.
>DM: So it's night in the village.
>DM: #23, you are having a dream
#23: Is a 20ft tall Fluttershy chasing me wearing a massive strapon?
>DM: No, but there is the merchant you bought the fishing rod from.
>DM: "So good to see you again, sir."
#23: sup dude
>DM: "Where you planning on paying the rest of the gold you owed me anytime soon?"
>DAT: (we can rob the merchant)
>SA: I’m assuming this is a cut scene dream which none of other guys are involved?
> Filly Fiddler Anon walks in the door, late to the game. He takes a seat and sets his materials down.
>FFA: Yo
>DM: Yes, #23s' dream.
>DM: "Well?"
#23: well my party and I are on the trail of a wanted criminal with a hefty bounty on his head once we retrieve it I should have enough to pay you in full
>FFA: so what's up, it feels as if I’ve been sleeping for weeks.
>DM: "Are you sure? I feel that I've been very generous with your repayment time."
>SA: (Kill him for shits and giggles, it’s only a dream)
#23: “yes sir I am provided I survive the encounter”
>DM: "Very well. I expect the payment soon."
>DM: *end dream sequence*
>DAT: NOOO
>DM: Morning!
>SA: Apparently everyone is still sleeping?
>DM: Everyone who's not here is sleeping in the wagon, except Gilda, who was dragged off to participate in the festival.
>MA: Hah ok
>DAT: I wake up and put on my ugly robe and hat
#23: are we back at full health from last week?
>DM: Sure
>MA: I put on my shit, too
>SA: I still have my shit on from the last time I was here
>SA: Unless someone stripped me in my sleep last week
>DM: The rest of you are informed that the ritual will take many days to complete.
>SA: What ritual
>MA: the one Gilda went to do
>DAT: The voodoo
>DAT: the power of the babe
>MA: She got some worship-stuff from the tribe here
>MA: so she's gunna participate in their crazy ritual or something
>DM: Gilda will likely be predisposed during that time.
#23: so what are we doing?
>DAT: we are going to attacking monsters for xp and loot
>MA: are there monsters nearby?
>DAT: we could become serial killers and kill people at night
>SA: That’d be awesome
>DM: You have two choices here:
>SA: For everyone except me
>DM: 1) wait for Gilda
>DM: 2) go on ahead
>MA: I for one don't wanna kill people
>DAT: go on ahead, come back for Gilda
>SA: Isn’t Gilda busy this week?
>MA: SA you fag, he means ingame. She won’t be here but her character is still off somewhere.
>MA: wait for her to finish that shitty ritual
>SA: Fucking rituals
>MA: or going on
>DM: Fine
>DM: Fast forward
>SA: I vote chill in the surounding area
>MA: I want to gain xp
>DM: 1 week later!
>SA: Holy shit
#23: What the fuck
>MA: lolwut
>DM: You guys still haven't seen Gilda
>DM: You are approached by the chief
>FFA: let’s go niggaz
>SA: in b4 Gilda died due to complications
>DAT: I vote we kill the chief and take his position
>DM: "It appears that your friend hasn't returned."
>DAT: "YES INDEED SHE HASNT"
>DAT: "HAVE YOU ANY ADVICE FOR US?"
>MA: I vote against that DAT. Against killing the chief, that is.
>MA: the tribe's gonna kill us
>DM: "Either she's gotten herself lost in the jungle, or she's dead."
#23: Good, let’s move on
>SA: Knowing Gilda, probably both. Hopefully both.
>DM: "Either way, it seems that she was not the hunter we thought she was."
>FFA: I think she was abducted by fillies
>SA: FFA did you abduct her?
>FFA: HAH why would I even touch her?
>DAT: "go on mr chief"
>SA: "abducted by fillies"
>SA: "FFA is a filly"
>DM: "You are free to look for her, if you wish, or you may continue on. You may also stay here for a while longer and wait."
>MA: Hmm
>MA: Looking for her will gain us xp by killing shit
>SA: I vote we look
>SA: Yup
>DM: "Than follow me."
>MA: I follow
>DM: He directs you to the top of a mountain ridge.
>SA: I follow too
>SA: But suspect a trap
>FFA: I think she was abducted by mexicans and forced to wash dished for them
#23: onward and upward
>DM: Below is a circular valley, completely filled with trees.
>FFA: I follow
>DM: "That is where she was to hunt."
>DAT: I use my awesome spot check
>DAT: rolls 1d20-5 = 1
>SA: Fail...
>FFA: Be right back, soda
>MA: "What did you want her to hunt there?"
>SA: In b4 river
>DAT: The greater striped lion
>SA: Shouldn’t DAT be hallucinating about rivers at this point?
>DM: "She was one of the hunters sent down to collect trophies from the beasts."
>DM: Also,
>MA: striped lion? Liger? Tigon? loldongs
>DM: DAT, you see a giant cat eating you whole
>DAT: oh dear
>SA: Sounds like a lion to me
>DM: You're in its stomach now.
>DAT: in its stomach it has no ac bonus
>DAT: I use sneaky attack
>DAT: rolls 1d20+6; 1d20+6 = 9 21
>DM: You stab its stomach and fall out
>DAT: I have slain yet another beast
>DAT: Ha Ha
>MA:*looks to DAT and gives him a slap*
>DAT: nooo
>DM: So you guys were gonna find Gilda...
>MA: Yeah
>MA: "Let's go into dat jungle there. I just hope I won't have to burn it down with fireballs."
>SA: Like 2 weeks ago...
>DAT: I use knowledge check of nature on the jungle
>FFA: did we find Gilda yet
>MA: no
>DAT: rolls 1d20+12 nature check = 31
#23: check for secret doors
>MA: rolls 1d20+4, spot jungle = 21
>DM: MA, you see the jungle
>SA: oh wow
>DM: DAT, the jungle likely has large, dangerous things in it.
>SA: 1d20+1 spot = 19
#23: Wish I could see the jungle but there are too many damn trees in the way
>DAT: large + dangerous means lots of xp
>DM: You see trees
>DAT: let’s go fags
>MA: let's go in
>DM: You descend the cliff face into the jungle
>DM: You are now in the jungle
>DM: There are trees
>DM: Lots of trees
>SA: 1d20+1 spot for monsters = 16
>DM: You see trees
>DAT: search check
>DM: Lots of trees
>MA: listen check
>MA: 1d20+2 = 5
>MA: FFFFFF
#23: you hear trees
>DM: You hear normal forest noises
>DAT: 1d20+3 search = 22
>SA: god damn it DM
>MA: Just burn the fucking forest y/n?
>DM: What are you searching for?
>SA: yes
#23: kill it with fire
>DM: And let me remind you that Gilda is somewhere in this forest
>DAT: Any clues for things that provide easy xp
>MA: FFFFFF
#23: then definitely burn it
>MA: No burning shit
>MA: with Gilda in here
>SA: Fine
>DM: DAT, you find nothing
>SA: After we find Gilda, the shit burns
>DAT: 1d20+3 search for clues of Gilda = 1
>DM: Nothing
>FFA: I wish we were in the astral plane
>DAT: I wait one minute
>DAT: 1d20+3 search for clues of Gilda = 4
>SA: Oh wow
>DM: You find trees
>DAT: I wait one minute
>DAT: 1d20+3 search for clues of Gilda = 18
>FFA: 1d20+5 search clues = 21
>DM: Oh look, footprints
>DAT: ok
#23: I take out my magic fishing pole and cast. Thinking of a friendly bloodhound that will help us search for Gilda
>DM: Footprints
>DAT: who has track?
>DM: You get a bite #23
>MA: Isn’t that part of survival or something?
#23: I reel it in
>DM: You pull out a puppy
>MA: I don't have a 'track' skill in mah list
#23: YAY
>FFA: I have scent
>MA: get a kitten, too
>DM: It wags its tail at you
>SA: Summon me a shrubbery
#23: I pet the puppy
>MA: that pole is fun
#23: "hello little pup want to help us look for our friend"
>DM: "WOOF!"
>FFA: *pokes the puppy in the eye*
>DM: #23, will save
>MA: *stops FFA from poking the puppy*
#23: 1d20+5 = 1
>FFA: excellent
#23: FFFFFFFFF
>DM: You can't resist hugging the puppy
>MA: HAHAHA
>MA: awesome
#23: NOOOOOOOOOO
>SA: 1d20+1 Spot a shrubery = 2
#23: *hugs puppy*
>MA: epic fail
>DM: You see lots of shrubbery
>FFA: *Slaps #23*
>SA: I pick a shrubery and put it in my bag, just in case we meet a certain group of… knights
>MA: *slaps #23 on the back of the head*
>MA: I'm the slapper
>MA: *watches SA picking up...nothing*
>FFA: Didn’t we find tracks
>MA: Yeah
>DM: Yup
>FFA: can’t we just follow them
>DAT: no
#23: “oh wait wut? damned puppy it's just too cute”
>DM: Not without Track
>FFA: But..... we can see them
>FFA: right
>MA: what does track need? Wis?
>DAT: I think so
>DM: Survival check
>MA: ah
>MA: 1d20+2 = 10
>SA: everyone?
>DAT: get the dog to do it
>FFA: 1d20+3 survival = 4
>FFA: fuck
>SA: what’s with all these natural 1s today?
#23: 1d20+1 = 5
>MA: wtf
>DAT: when dogs track by scent, they get a +4 bonus
>DM: Did anyone roll for the puppy yet?
#23: I will
#23: they get +4 right?
>DM: yeah
#23: 1d20+4 = 21
>DM: He lops playfully after the tracks
>FFA: follow that nigger
>MA: I follow the dog
#23: follow that pup
>DAT: followan
>DAT: we should put it on a leash
>SA: follow dog
>DM: Listen checks everyone
>MA: (You guys do know that it'll likely be brutally killed by a monster right?
Everyone rolls a listen check and fails miserably.
>DM: MA FFA and SA hear what sounds like trees being snapped in two
>MA: "FFFF, trees being snapped in two? In before Trex!"
>FFA: 1d20+6 spot snapping = 25
>SA: I do a barrel roll into a nearby hole
>DM: You can see the treeline loosing trees in a line towards you
>FFA: I tumble outta the way
>MA: To the side! *runs to the right*
>DAT: oh dear
>FFA: 1d20+12 tumble = 17
>SA: I have already barrel rolled out of the way
>DM: You all roll about 2 feet to the side
>FFA: I tumbled
>DM: It's going kinda slowly, guys. You're not dodging a train here.
>FFA: 1d20+13 hide = 21
>DAT: 1d20+12 movesilently = 20
>SA: 1d20+1 hide = 9
>MA: 1d20+1 hide = 15
>FFA: I’m hidden like a motherfucker
>DM: MA hides, DAT moves silently, FFA hides like a motherfucker
>DAT: I am hiding too
#23: 1d20+4 hide = 11
>DM: So everyone is hiding, #23 rather poorly
>DAT: I move towards the side of the path that the large object will take in its travels
>SA: I pull my shrubbery out of my pack
>DM: After a while you all see a giant reptilian creature
>MA: (lolTRex)
>MA: I watch that fucker
>SA: MA, light my shrubbery on fire, I can has a plan
>MA: *slaps SA on the back of the head*
>MA: whispers "There's no shrubbery, dumbass"
>SA: I got one earlier
>SA: It was in my bag this whole time
>MA: whispers "You picked up air, you hallucinated"
>DM: It is about 11 feet tall, green, and has a long neck
>DAT: 1d20+12 nature check on the creature = 31
>SA: Yup, trex
>FFA: I say we kill that fucker
>MA: Gilda will likely be in its stomach
>DM: DAT, you know that is no animal
>FFA: is it a mineral?
>DAT: come what?
>DM: It appears to be sniffing the air
>FFA: o shit
>MA: Fffff...
>DM: It looks directly at #23
#23: OH SH-

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Moving to the table you take a seat next to MA. You lay out your stuff and check over your character sheet. You make sure your bards’ spells are reset from last session and everything is ready. DAT is helping SA with his character.  He may be a fucking moron when he played but you had to admit DAT knew how to build a character. He had started planning his own character weeks before you guys had started playing and had every level of his character planed out in advance from 1 to 20. If only he put that much thought into playing. You look over to MA who is spinning his d20 on the table like a top.

Quick reference guide.
Text without quotes = them talking to each other around the table
“Text with quotes = them talking in character”
*Text with asterisk = them saying their character is performing that action*
For those who have never played D&D, when you see this “rolls 1d20-5 = 1” it means that character is rolling a 20 sided dice to perform a complex action such as searching an area, hiding or dodging an attack. The higher the result the more likely it is to succeed, lower results means a failed action or in the case of a roll of 1 may cause epic failure and wacky hijinks to ensue.

#23: So looks like FFA is late
>MA: Yeah he said he was going to stop and get more soda on his way back
#23: Ah, ok that shop is busy this time of day
>DM: Ok we have 4 here let’s get started
>MA: Yeah but he should have been back by now 
#23: Maybe, what did he say he was going to do today anyway?
>DM: umm…
>MA: Not sure, he said he was going to Rarities to pick something up
#23: Not sure if Scoots is going to make it tonight
>MA: why’s that
#23: Well I saw her and the other CMC with hard hats shovels and I think a pneumatic jack hammer screaming about cutie mark crusader road repair crew or something like that.
>MA:  Well if she doesn’t make it that will be 2 down with Gilda mia this week
>DM: HEY!
>Everyone looks to DM
>DM: IT’S GAME TIME FAGGOTS
>DM: Quick recap of last week. After the incident with the Elven woods you made your way into the mountains and fought a group of mountain lions that ambushed you during the night. After you defeated them Gilda cut off their heads and skinned them.
#23: Don’t forget their cocks, she cut those off to take with her too
>DAT: crazy bitch
>DM: Yeah and their dicks too. You made your way farther into the mountains and came to the hunter village where you are now. Thanks to Gildas Grizzly trophies and loud mouth boasting she was hailed as a master hunter and offered the chance to participate in there sacred festival hunt. She left with them to the woods and everyone else went to sleep before we ended it for the night. So, any questions?
>SA: Yeah why did you tell us all that when the 4 of us were here last week and know this shit already?
>DM: It called exposition. Now let’s get going.
>DM: So it's night in the village.
>DM: #23, you are having a dream
#23: Is a 20ft tall Fluttershy chasing me wearing a massive strapon?
>DM: No, but there is the merchant you bought the fishing rod from.
>DM: "So good to see you again, sir."
#23: sup dude
>DM: "Where you planning on paying the rest of the gold you owed me anytime soon?"
>DAT: (we can rob the merchant)
>SA: I’m assuming this is a cut scene dream which none of other guys are involved?
> Filly Fiddler Anon walks in the door, late to the game. He takes a seat and sets his materials down.
>FFA: Yo
>DM: Yes, #23s' dream.
>DM: "Well?"
#23: well my party and I are on the trail of a wanted criminal with a hefty bounty on his head once we retrieve it I should have enough to pay you in full
>FFA: so what's up, it feels as if I’ve been sleeping for weeks.
>DM: "Are you sure? I feel that I've been very generous with your repayment time."
>SA: (Kill him for shits and giggles, it’s only a dream)
#23: “yes sir I am provided I survive the encounter”
>DM: "Very well. I expect the payment soon."
>DM: *end dream sequence*
>DAT: NOOO
>DM: Morning!
 >SA: Apparently everyone is still sleeping? 
>DM: Everyone who's not here is sleeping in the wagon, except Gilda, who was dragged off to participate in the festival.
>MA: Hah ok
>DAT: I wake up and put on my ugly robe and hat
#23: are we back at full health from last week?
>DM: Sure
>MA: I put on my shit, too
>SA: I still have my shit on from the last time I was here
>SA: Unless someone stripped me in my sleep last week
>DM: The rest of you are informed that the ritual will take many days to complete.
>SA: What ritual
>MA: the one Gilda went to do
>DAT: The voodoo
>DAT: the power of the babe
>MA: She got some worship-stuff from the tribe here
>MA: so she's gunna participate in their crazy ritual or something
>DM: Gilda will likely be predisposed during that time.
#23: so what are we doing?
>DAT: we are going to attacking monsters for xp and loot
>MA: are there monsters nearby?
>DAT: we could become serial killers and kill people at night
>SA: That’d be awesome
>DM: You have two choices here:
>SA: For everyone except me
>DM: 1) wait for Gilda
>DM: 2) go on ahead
>MA: I for one don't wanna kill people
>DAT: go on ahead, come back for Gilda
>SA: Isn’t Gilda busy this week?
>MA: SA you fag, he means ingame. She won’t be here but her character is still off somewhere.
>MA: wait for her to finish that shitty ritual
>SA: Fucking rituals
>MA: or going on
>DM: Fine
>DM: Fast forward
>SA: I vote chill in the surounding area
>MA: I want to gain xp
>DM: 1 week later!
>SA: Holy shit
#23: What the fuck
>MA: lolwut
>DM: You guys still haven't seen Gilda
>DM: You are approached by the chief
>FFA: let’s go niggaz
>SA: in b4 Gilda died due to complications
>DAT: I vote we kill the chief and take his position
>DM: "It appears that your friend hasn't returned."
>DAT: "YES INDEED SHE HASNT"
>DAT: "HAVE YOU ANY ADVICE FOR US?"
>MA: I vote against that DAT. Against killing the chief, that is.
>MA: the tribe's gonna kill us
>DM: "Either she's gotten herself lost in the jungle, or she's dead."
#23: Good, let’s move on
>SA: Knowing Gilda, probably both. Hopefully both.
>DM: "Either way, it seems that she was not the hunter we thought she was."
>FFA: I think she was abducted by fillies
>SA: FFA did you abduct her?
>FFA: HAH why would I even touch her?
>DAT: "go on mr chief"
>SA: "abducted by fillies"
>SA: "FFA is a filly"
>DM: "You are free to look for her, if you wish, or you may continue on. You may also stay here for a while longer and wait."
>MA: Hmm
>MA: Looking for her will gain us xp by killing shit
>SA: I vote we look
>SA: Yup 
>DM: "Than follow me."
>MA: I follow
>DM: He directs you to the top of a mountain ridge.
>SA: I follow too
>SA: But suspect a trap
>FFA: I think she was abducted by mexicans and forced to wash dished for them
#23: onward and upward
>DM: Below is a circular valley, completely filled with trees.
>FFA: I follow
>DM: "That is where she was to hunt."
>DAT: I use my awesome spot check
>DAT: rolls 1d20-5 = 1
>SA: Fail...
>FFA: Be right back, soda
>MA: "What did you want her to hunt there?"
>SA: In b4 river
>DAT: The greater striped lion
>SA: Shouldn’t DAT be hallucinating about rivers at this point?
>DM: "She was one of the hunters sent down to collect trophies from the beasts."
>DM: Also,
>MA: striped lion? Liger? Tigon? loldongs
>DM: DAT, you see a giant cat eating you whole
>DAT: oh dear
>SA: Sounds like a lion to me
>DM: You're in its stomach now.
>DAT: in its stomach it has no ac bonus
>DAT: I use sneaky attack
>DAT: rolls 1d20+6; 1d20+6 = 9  21
>DM: You stab its stomach and fall out
>DAT: I have slain yet another beast
>DAT: Ha Ha
>MA:*looks to DAT and gives him a slap*
>DAT: nooo
>DM: So you guys were gonna find Gilda...
>MA: Yeah
>MA: "Let's go into dat jungle there. I just hope I won't have to burn it down with fireballs."
>SA: Like 2 weeks ago...
>DAT: I use knowledge check of nature on the jungle
>FFA: did we find Gilda yet
>MA: no
>DAT:  rolls 1d20+12 nature check = 31
#23: check for secret doors
>MA: rolls 1d20+4, spot jungle = 21
>DM: MA, you see the jungle
>SA: oh wow
>DM: DAT, the jungle likely has large, dangerous things in it.
>SA: 1d20+1 spot = 19
#23: Wish I could see the jungle but there are too many damn trees in the way
>DAT: large + dangerous means lots of xp
>DM: You see trees
>DAT: let’s go fags
>MA: let's go in
>DM: You descend the cliff face into the jungle
>DM: You are now in the jungle
>DM: There are trees
>DM: Lots of trees
>SA: 1d20+1 spot for monsters = 16
>DM: You see trees
>DAT: search check
>DM: Lots of trees
>MA: listen check
>MA: 1d20+2 = 5
>MA: FFFFFF
#23: you hear trees
>DM: You hear normal forest noises
>DAT: 1d20+3 search = 22
>SA: god damn it DM
>MA: Just burn the fucking forest y/n?
>DM: What are you searching for?
>SA: yes
#23: kill it with fire
>DM: And let me remind you that Gilda is somewhere in this forest
>DAT: Any clues for things that provide easy xp
>MA: FFFFFF
#23: then definitely burn it
>MA: No burning shit
>MA: with Gilda in here
>SA: Fine
>DM: DAT, you find nothing
>SA: After we find Gilda, the shit burns
>DAT: 1d20+3 search for clues of Gilda = 1
>DM: Nothing
>FFA: I wish we were in the astral plane
>DAT: I wait one minute
>DAT: 1d20+3 search for clues of Gilda = 4
>SA: Oh wow
>DM: You find trees
>DAT: I wait one minute
>DAT: 1d20+3 search for clues of Gilda = 18
>FFA: 1d20+5 search clues = 21
>DM: Oh look, footprints
>DAT: ok
#23: I take out my magic fishing pole and cast. Thinking of a friendly bloodhound that will help us search for Gilda
>DM: Footprints
>DAT: who has track?
>DM: You get a bite #23
>MA: Isn’t that part of survival or something?
#23: I reel it in
>DM: You pull out a puppy
>MA: I don't have a 'track' skill in mah list
#23: YAY
>FFA: I have scent
>MA: get a kitten, too
>DM: It wags its tail at you
>SA: Summon me a shrubbery
#23: I pet the puppy
>MA: that pole is fun
#23: "hello little pup want to help us look for our friend"
>DM: "WOOF!"
>FFA:  *pokes the puppy in the eye*
>DM: #23, will save
>MA: *stops FFA from poking the puppy*
#23: 1d20+5 = 1
>FFA: excellent
#23: FFFFFFFFF
>DM: You can't resist hugging the puppy
>MA: HAHAHA
>MA: awesome
#23: NOOOOOOOOOO
>SA: 1d20+1 Spot a shrubery = 2
#23: *hugs puppy*
>MA: epic fail
>DM: You see lots of shrubbery
>FFA: *Slaps #23*
>SA: I pick a shrubery and put it in my bag, just in case we meet a certain group of… knights
>MA: *slaps #23 on the back of the head*
>MA: I'm the slapper
>MA:  *watches SA picking up...nothing*
>FFA: Didn’t we find tracks
>MA: Yeah
>DM: Yup
>FFA: can’t we just follow them
>DAT: no
#23: “oh wait wut? damned puppy it's just too cute”
>DM: Not without Track
>FFA: But..... we can see them
>FFA: right
>MA: what does track need? Wis?
>DAT: I think so
>DM: Survival check
>MA: ah
>MA: 1d20+2 = 10
>SA: everyone?
>DAT: get the dog to do it
>FFA: 1d20+3 survival = 4
>FFA: fuck
>SA: what’s with all these natural 1s today?
#23: 1d20+1 = 5
>MA: wtf
>DAT: when dogs track by scent, they get a +4 bonus
>DM: Did anyone roll for the puppy yet?
#23: I will
#23: they get +4 right?
>DM: yeah
#23: 1d20+4 = 21
>DM: He lops playfully after the tracks
>FFA: follow that nigger
>MA: I follow the dog
#23: follow that pup
>DAT: followan
>DAT: we should put it on a leash
>SA: follow dog
>DM: Listen checks everyone
>MA: (You guys do know that it'll likely be brutally killed by a monster right?
Everyone rolls a listen check and fails miserably.
>DM: MA FFA and SA hear what sounds like trees being snapped in two
>MA: "FFFF, trees being snapped in two? In before Trex!"
>FFA: 1d20+6 spot snapping = 25
>SA: I do a barrel roll into a nearby hole
>DM: You can see the treeline loosing trees in a line towards you
>FFA: I tumble outta the way
>MA: To the side! *runs to the right*
>DAT: oh dear
>FFA: 1d20+12 tumble = 17
>SA: I have already barrel rolled out of the way
>DM: You all roll about 2 feet to the side
>FFA: I tumbled
>DM: It's going kinda slowly, guys. You're not dodging a train here.
>FFA: 1d20+13 hide = 21
>DAT: 1d20+12 movesilently = 20
>SA: 1d20+1 hide = 9
>MA: 1d20+1 hide = 15 
>FFA: I’m hidden like a motherfucker
>DM: MA hides, DAT moves silently, FFA hides like a motherfucker
>DAT: I am hiding too
#23: 1d20+4 hide = 11
>DM: So everyone is hiding, #23 rather poorly
>DAT: I move towards the side of the path that the large object will take in its travels
>SA: I pull my shrubbery out of my pack
>DM: After a while you all see a giant reptilian creature
>MA: (lolTRex)
>MA: I watch that fucker
>SA: MA, light my shrubbery on fire, I can has a plan
>MA: *slaps SA on the back of the head*
>MA:  whispers "There's no shrubbery, dumbass"
>SA: I got one earlier
>SA: It was in my bag this whole time
>MA:  whispers "You picked up air, you hallucinated"
>DM: It is about 11 feet tall, green, and has a long neck
>DAT: 1d20+12 nature check on the creature = 31
>SA: Yup, trex
>FFA: I say we kill that fucker
>MA: Gilda will likely be in its stomach
>DM: DAT, you know that is no animal
>FFA: is it a mineral?
>DAT: come what?
>DM: It appears to be sniffing the air
>FFA: o shit
>MA: Fffff...
>DM: It looks directly at #23
#23: OH SH-

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