/mlp/ Request #4: The Flying Farts

                        "so we can asume these things are filled with pegasus farts?

                             the airship farting brigade is now my new head canon"

       

        Spitfire hovered above the plains beneath Cloudsdale at about 300 meters. The soft sound of her wings beating up and down were the only audible thing at this height, solitude from the rest of the ponies working below her. She observed the landscape, dotted with hundreds of airships and balloons being prepped by Pegasi darting in between them like winged ants. Celestia had entrusted the Wonderbolts with the preparation and launch of the air armada in light of the recent heated negotiations with the Griffin Kingdom, and Spitfire wasn't about to turn down a responsibility like that. She heard another pair of wings approaching from beneath her, and she looked down to see Soarin coming up to join her.

"How're they doing down there, Soarin? Are we almost ready for action?"

Soarin flew up to an even level with Spitfire, scratching the back of his head with a hoof.

"Well, ready as they'll ever be. We won't know exactly how airworthy these things are until they're actually in the air. I don't expect many will be in good shape, considering they've been sitting in Celestia's basement for years over in Canterlot. Not to mention, the gas we're using isn't exactly conventional..."

Spitfire peered at Soarin over her sunglasses.

"It's our only choice. All the natural gas the armada used to use got leaked out of the Canterlot Mines ages ago. As it stands, plan B is our only option."

Soarin shrugged.

"Something else you should know, Rainbow Dash is down there as well. She's asking to see you, but I said I didn't know where you were."

Spitfire nodded. "Good. Let's keep that up. I don't have time to talk Wonderbolts business today, we gotta work. Go back down there and finish it up, Soarin. We launch in 10."

Soarin gave a brisk nod and dove down towards the workers below.

Spitfire pondered again whether or not her plan was going to work. It had in the small scale, of course, but the large scale was vastly different. Thousands of Pegasi had to work simultaneously to get the fleet in the air.

Spitfire shook her head and smirked. Of course it would work. She came up with it.

 

        Rainbow Dash spotted Soarin again, hovering with a scrawny looking Pegasus next to a deflated balloon. They seemed to be evaluating the condition of the envelope. Rainbow Dash decided that what she had to say was more important. Pushing her way past the scrawny Pegasus, she scooted her way right next to Soarin.

        Soarin sighed, already knowing who the heavy breaths on his neck belonged to. He turned and almost brushed muzzles with her, glaring with annoyance. Rainbow Dash didn't seem to pick up on it.

"Rainbow Dash, if you're going to be here, WITHOUT AN INVITATION, I might add, can you at least make yourself useful instead of following me around all day?

Dash chuckled awkwardly and played with her mane, looking off to the side.

"Aw, come on Soarin! I just want to hang out with the coolest fliers in all of Equestria." She stared at Soarin's unresponsive face, blinking a few times in silence before continuing. "That's, uh, that's you guys in case you were wondering. Speaking of, have you found Spitfire yet?"

Soarin scowled deeper. "No, I have not found Spitfire yet. Y'know what, j-just go over there. Right there." Soarin gestured next to the deflated balloon with a hoof. "Go right there and wait for instructions. We'll have a moderator flying through here in 5 minutes to give you the queue. Until then, you are to remain here. Are we clear?"

Rainbow Dash wilted a little bit, but followed the directions nonetheless. She drifted over to the ground and stood next to the balloon. "Like this? Right here?"

Soarin nodded and started flying away. "Right there. You're golden. Now just wait for someone to tell you when to start."

He quickly disappeared behind the massive figure of a nearby airship, leaving Rainbow Dash alone. She sighed and sat down, playing in the dirt with her hoof. She had heard the plans for the armada. It was a little bit far fetched in Dash's opinion, but she believed that if Spitfire thought it could be done, then it could be done. She sat in silence for a few minutes, her thoughts derailed once again by how incredibly awesome Spitfire was.

 

        Dash came back to her senses as things started getting more active. Pegasi looked more nervous, and dashed in between airships worriedly checking for problems more and more frantically. It wasn't long before another Pegasus, what looked to be a Wonderbolts trainee, hovered above the area, watching everything with a keen eye. Dash figured that he must be the moderator. She stood up and saluted to him.

"So uh, how long until we start... you know, doing the... thing?"

The moderator checked his watch and signaled to something outside of Dash's view, probably another moderator far away. He nodded and looked back at Dash.

"We launch in 1 minute. Hope you ate a lot of gassy food."

        Dash positioned herself underneath the balloon, her rear end inside of the envelope. She, like most Pegasi, could control when they farted. She watched as hundreds of other Pegasi around her entered their own airships, all filing into the gas chambers, ready to do the same on a much larger scale. The moderator pulled out a whistle, looking around to make sure everyone was ready. Looking off to the side once again to check with the other moderators, he put the whistle up to his mouth and waited. Off in the distance, Rainbow Dash could hear the sounds of whistles being blown, as well as another sound she couldn't quite place, almost like wind passing through a tunnel but louder and less consistent. The moderator leaned back and took a deep breath, hovering in the air in a split second of silence before exhaling into the whistle with all his might. Almost instantly, hundreds of nearby Pegasi passed gas at once, filling the aircraft with absurd amounts of Pegasus farts. The airships moaned and creaked with the sounds of age as they slowly lifted off the ground, pushed skyward by the lighter-than-air nature of the pony flatulence. Rainbow Dash watched in awe as the armada lifted off around her. Bringing herself back to reality and not wanting to be left behind as the only craft on the ground, Dash farted with all her might into the balloon. It didn't take long before she was airborne, joining the other craft in the air within moments.

 

        Spitfire gazed out over the armada, now at the same level that she was. Hundreds of airships, built to last, had taken to the air once again. She spotted one balloon in particular with only one passenger. She fluttered over and took her spot next to Rainbow Dash, gazing out over the sunset. They both stood there for a while in silence, admiring the magic that had happened there that day. Spitfire broke the silence with a small toot, raising them just slightly higher and above the rest of the airships. She still couldn't believe it had worked. She shook her head and leaned back, donning her sunglasses.

Of course it had worked.

It was her idea, after all.