- Lyra stared at the screen blankly. She glanced in the lower left corner. 3:54 AM. She was almost sad she didn't have to go to work tomorrow; she felt like she was being robbed of the full experience of staying up to absurd hours, considering she had the luxury of sleeping through the whole morning.
- F5.
- No new posts.
- /mlh/ was slow this time of night. Still, the alternative was Humanchan. Lyra shuddered a little.
- F5.
- No new posts.
- Lyra exhaled and realized she forgot what other tabs she even had open. She tabbed over.
- Oh, right. Hoomanbooru. Lyra thought for a second if it was a bad sign that all of her computer activity was currently dedicated to My Little Human.
- …
- …
- …
- Nah.
- F5.
- One new post.
- Lyra leaned in close to the monitor, scanning the text. Immediately, she leaned back with disappointment. Just another one of THOSE posts.
- “You're sitting in your room when suddenly you hear something coming from the kitchen. You go to investigate and you find >pic related standing there.” (Picture of shirtless human next to an open refrigerator with his mouth full of food, looking at the camera with wide eyes like a cat that's been caught doing something naughty.) “Wat do?”
- Shitposting. Pure shitposting. That was all Lyra ever saw these days.
- Well, nothing else was going on. Might as well reply.
- “I'd clean him up, ask him how he got here, welcome him to Equestria and then >rape.”
- Yeah. Pure shitposting.
- Lyra pressed submit.
- Then she heard a loud crash.
- Coming from the kitchen.
- Lyra blinked. She could still hear Bonbon snoring from the next room, so it wasn't her. Then who was it? Did an animal break in? Was somepony robbing them? Lyra levitated her baseball bat from the corner and moved away from the computer, towards the door. The kitchen was right around the corner from her office. Sneaking without a sound, she slowly pushed open the door and peeked around the side to look into the kitchen.
- The scene that unfolded in front of her was one she was not prepared for.
- Standing there, in her kitchen, was a man.
- He wasn't wearing a shirt.
- He was next to the refrigerator, and his mouth was full of food.
- At this point he made eye contact with Lyra. He looked awfully similar to a cat that had just been caught doing something naughty.
- And he swallowed the food in his mouth and started to speak.
- “Do you have any milk? That was dry as hell.”
- It was the next morning. Bonbon was freaking out, as was her general reaction to pretty much everything ever. She paced back and forth, stopping to groan and slam her hooves on the table, only to be at a loss for words and continue pacing again. Lyra sat at the kitchen table, staring across at the human seated on the other side. He looked to be about 5 - 6 feet tall, as she knew most humans were. He had a bit of a clueless air to him, almost like he knew where he was but didn't quite know what he was doing. Lyra decided to interrupt Bonbon's wordless rant.
- “So, do you have a name?” Lyra knew all the main characters in the show, and a lot of the fandom's secondary ones, but they had so many randomly generated background characters that no one could memorize them all. There was a calculated 7 billion of them.
- He looked up. “Anonymous. You can call me Anon.”
- Not a human Lyra had heard of. She decided she'd search him up anyways, in the hopes that he might have some fanart or something dedicated to him. Obscure background characters usually had at least one or two pieces, if they looked cool enough and showed up more than once.
- “Nice to meet you, Anon.” Now that Lyra thought about it, he was pretty hot. Humans were all pretty hot. Even the women. If Bonbon wasn't here she's probably already be hitting on him.
- Speaking of, Bonbon returned from her pacing for the 4th or 5th time. She slammed her hooves on the table again... and went back to pacing. Lyra predicted she'd need to do it about 3 more times before she'd be ready to talk.
- “So, how did you end up here?”
- Anon shrugged.
- “... how do you not know something like that?”
- He shrugged again, this time more exaggerated. “I don't know. I was browsing the internet like usual, fell asleep in my chair and then woke up on your kitchen floor.” He gestured around the floor aimlessly.
- Lyra found it strange, a random background human materializing in her kitchen. Bonbon came back and slammed her hooves on the table, paused for a brief moment with her mouth open, and then went back to pacing. One.
- Anon gave a confused glance. “Does she normally do that?”
- “Only when she's really stressed.”
- “How often is that?”
- “Pretty much twice a day.”
- “Ah.”
- Bonbon slammed her head against the wall a few times before coming back to the table and doing the usual routine. Two.
- “Why is she stressed now?”
- “I think this morning it's that she doesn't like 6 foot tall hairless beings appearing in her house. Also, she's pretty adamant against letting them stay.”
- “Letting them stay?” He cast a quizzical glance.
- “Yeah. I figure you need a place to stay, don't you? I asked Bonbon if it was ok and then this happened.”
- Bonbon returned to the table once more, slamming her hooves on the table. Three. She turned to face Lyra.
- “... WHAT IS IT EVEN?”
- Three more times, totally called it.
- Lyra had difficulty hiding her smirk.
- “He's a human, and he's harmless. Why can't he stay here? Give one good reason.”
- Bonbon pointed a hoof in Anon's direction.
- “IT'S HUGE, WALKS ON TWO LEGS AND IT HAS NO FUR.”
- “Wow, racist much?”
- Lyra giggled as Bonbon tried killing her with a glare.
- “C'mawn, what's the worst that could happen? He can take the guest room. You're gone all day anyways, you'll never have to see him.”
- Bonbon threw her arms in the air and slammed them both down on the ground, turning and trotting away from the table.
- “Fine. Whatever. I have to go to work in 30 minutes. Make sure he doesn't destroy the house or something.”
- “It'll be fine. Go get ready or whatever you do in the mornings.”
- Anon and Lyra watched Bonbon leave the room, her palpable anger and an awkward silence lingering behind. Lyra sat in silence, staring at Anon.
- “... dude, she is so pissed.”
- They snickered together for a few minutes straight. This was going to be awesome, Lyra decided.
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