Title:           Stuff
Author:          Lucyne
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/A9MMaHcL
First Edit:      Saturday 25th of January 2014 02:25:19 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 25th of January 2014 02:25:19 PM CDT

* Quicksilver massages Lucy's brain
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Don't judge me, I rarely do emotional things like this
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Basically, well, you know the whole thing of Mint having 'died' in the river, and my complete dissatisfaction with playing her.
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> yeap
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> A big thing that has been weighing on me immensely is that I have been heavily meta influencing a critical aspect of her life: Her relationship with Rain. She had all reasons in the world to become emotional and made, but I backed out because I was too squeamish OOC to play it
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So over the months, she bottled all hate and paranoia and shit up and it became monstrous, making playing her a pain.
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> explosion?
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Basically
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Lucy came for the "We need to talk" routine
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Little did I know would an already extremely charged situation then further go out of control
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> Dente shite + what happened today with Hid today + what was happening through these weeks
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> continue
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Something happened with hid?
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Well, I gave it my all
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> I really, REALLY played emotional for once, no bullshit kekplaying "coolness"
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And well, if you've ever been in a family fight, you know how things can go...
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> ... yeah... today, but on a lesser level, I asume...
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Mint was sorta confusing and rambling, basically hysterical and semi delusional
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And well, they fought, really fought
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> To the point that Mint dumped Rain
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But the ride doesn't end here, oh no...
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> :/
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> You know, I knew things could maybe in some hypothetical hellscape MAYBE drive Mint to suicide somehow
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But I thought driving her to dump Rain was plain flat out impossible
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But things get worse!
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> so Rain royally mcfucked up the talk
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And Lucy left, at night, in winter, while dripping wet
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> That's when GM came in
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Only to say one thing: The End
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But, I mcfucked up myself
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> You remember me rambling about the river, that she should've died there, but I brought her back because of guilt towards other players
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> then I understand the question that was asked before
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Well guess what happened
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> What question?
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> the cycle repeats
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> the question about: 'should I move on or...'
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Yea...ugh...
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> <Lucyne> I'm just wondering, should I try it again or should I move on?
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So anyways, I get so guilt tripped by how terrible Rain feels that I let her find the corpsivle and drag her home
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> reroll?
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> No, I didn't have the balls to tell Rain she killed her...again
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> hmm... reanimation?
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But GM was furious
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So, well, I gave GM at least a BIT of satisfaction
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Codex is simple: You are faced with a challenge of a difficulty and intenisty proportional to the reward
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So...yea...
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> GM went full Silent Hill
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Made a long, long story about Rain going made and a mocking voice picking up her every fault and fucking with her psyche
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> mmm
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Fucking with it hard
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And implications about the voice not being a hallucination at all
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So yea, really, the scene, I find, was absolutely terrifying
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Fully personalised psychological horror
<Lucyne> <Able_Tome> or a torture run rather
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And it was all about if Rain could persevere against the voice and it's mockings and torture, she'd get Lucy back
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> The voice being the devil so to speak
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Yea, a lot of a torture run
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So that was absolutely grating on my own psyche as well
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But hell, if you ever want to see at least a little fragment of what Schizophrenia is like 24/7...
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> So Rain baaaaaarely convinced GM to give Mint back
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And now here I sit, completely emotionally drained
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> Mint's body is completely rekd
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> If we were fair, she'd be blind and partially paralyzed probably
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> And I just don't know even anymore
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> But in a weird ironic way, I feel more satisfied than I have in a long time
<Lucyne> <Lucyne> If only because I think I finally got to express the mocking voices pretty well