Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

MetalHead Anon chapter 1 part 1

By: LordGale on Jun 22nd, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.08 KB  |  hits: 83  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. > You are Anonymous.
  2. > And you are the greatest rocker who has ever rocked.
  3. > Or so you'd like to think.
  4. > Currently, you are the greatest rocker who's ever been hit by a rock.
  5. > More accurately, YOU hit the rock. The rock didn't do anything to you.
  6. > Even MORE accurately, it's your HOUSE that's hit the rock.
  7. > So here you are, sprawled out on your floor, your shit and CDs strewn across the floor like cheerios, a large rock was poking through the floorboards, and you have no fucking idea what just happened.
  8. > Better than your average saturday.
  9. > You're never going clubbing with someone who knows Charlie Sheen again.
  10. > You look at your mp3.
  11. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN6ocKCRo68&feature=related
  12. > Oh, god. This had been playing the whole night?
  13. > somehow, you still had full battery, though.
  14. > Why the fuck was this even on your mp3?
  15. > It was mood setting, you guessed...
  16. > Moving on, you stand up, feeling a few cricks in your back straighten out with a satisfying "pop".
  17. > Well, your place wasn't gonna clean itself.
  18. > But you weren't gonna clean it either.
  19. > Fuck that noise.
  20. > Shit just happened, and you didn't see it, so now it's up to you to see what it was.
  21. > You run past all your instruments, records, and amps to the front door, nearly ripping it off its hinges.
  22. > What.
  23. > What the fuck?
  24. > And where was your neighborhood?
  25. > And your front yard?
  26. > And your priorities?
  27. > Where the fuck WHERE you?
  28.  
  29. > Trees.
  30. > Trees everywhere!
  31. > You put your arms down from that ridiculous pose and take an actual look around.
  32. > You're in a nice forest, plenty of sunshine streaming through the canopy, birds singing in the treetops.
  33. > Now that you think about it, it isn't so bad.  
  34. > You could have landed in a canyon.
  35. > That'd be bad.
  36. > So, Anon, where to now?
  37. > Well, brain, I don't rightly know.
  38. > Why don't we go inside?
  39. > You decide that going back inside would be a good idea.
  40. > You calmly walk back into your sweet crib.
  41. > you very calmly shut and lock the door.
  42. > You very, VERY calmly walk into your room and pick up that pile of CDs that had fallen over.
  43. > And then, once everything is back in its rightful place, and all is in order...
  44. AAAAAAAAAAH!!
  45. > you scream.
  46. > Not a metal scream.
  47. > You save those for when they are needed.
  48. > Which, you have to admit, is often, but you digress.
  49. > This is a scream of total, utter what the fuck.
  50. > Yes, this scream did convey your feelings rather well.
  51. > So full of FUCK were you, that you failed to notice something tapping on the door, then the window.
  52. > Until your scream died down, that is.
  53. > Then you heard the tapping.
  54. > At your window.
  55. > The window that was right fucking next to you.
  56.  
  57. > You turn, slowly, calmly.
  58. > After all, none of this was getting to you.
  59. > Nope, nosiree.
  60. > You were perfectly ca-
  61. > ...
  62. > Was that a tiny horse?
  63. > It WAS a tiny horse!
  64. > And by tiny, you do NOT mean half the size of a normal horse.
  65. > Oh, no. This was fucking MICROSCOPIC.
  66. > Seriously, the thing was only about, like, a couple feet high from what you could see out your window.
  67. > And it was gray, with a blonde mane.
  68. > And a Horn.
  69. > What the fuck, nature?
  70. > The little...unicorn seems to be trying to peer into your window, but every time she jumps up, her horn bounces off the glass, interupting the leap and causing the tapping sound, then landing clumsily on the ground.
  71. > It's quite possibly the cutest thing you've ever seen.
  72. > This cycle of jump, tap, land, jump, tap, land goes on for a about a minute or so more, until you finally get close enough to the window that the little thing can see you.
  73. > It gasps, looking at you with wider-than-they-already-were eyes, and scrambles out of sight, hiding behind one of the trees you had landed near.
  74. > You suppose this was a pretty uderstandable response, what with your long black hair, perfect for headbanging, sunken eyes from lack of sleep in between concerts, and tattered metalica shirt and ripped blue jeans.
  75. > At least you didn't dress like a Marilyn Manson fan.
  76. > That might have given the poor thing a heart attack.
  77. > It'd be an absolutely adorable heart attack, though.
  78. > You quickly unlock the door and walk outside, circling around to the window the unicorn was at.
  79. > You find it-her? Still hiding behind that tree.
  80. > God, but it was cute.
  81. > you stop a yard or so away, before deliberately stepping on some of the more brittle foliage.
  82. > The resulting snap alerts her to your presence, and she spins around, eyes wide.
  83. > you both stare at each other like that for a minute or so, just watching the other watch the other.
  84. > It was obviously intelligent, judging from the expressions on its face, but could it speak?
  85. > you raise one of your hands in greeting.
  86. "Hello."
  87. > It squeeks.
  88. "I am Anonymous. I come from Earth."
  89. > You spread your fingers.
  90. " I come in peace. Live Long and Prosper."
  91. > If that wasn't a good ambassador line, you didn't know what was.
  92.  
  93. > It also seemed to calm the little unicorn down.
  94. > Good, it wouldn't be cool if you had to communicate with something that freaked at your every movement.
  95. > You get down to her-you're pretty sure it's a her, but it could be an adorable him- level, trying your best to look...not...scary, yeah, you fail at that.
  96. > "I-I'm Dinky Doo."
  97. > OHMYGAWDITTALKS.
  98. > Heart, how are you holding up?
  99. > AH CANAE TAIYK ANEHMOUR O' THEES, CAP'N!
  100. > Well, that's a damned shame, because she's talking again.
  101. > "Um, Mi-Mister Ah-none-eh-muss, what exactly ARE you?"
  102. > You grin.
  103. > You know exactly what to answer that with.
  104. > You pull out your mp3, and begin to scroll through it, looking for a particular song.
  105. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb9bXzSqavc
  106. "Dinky, I'm just.."
  107. > Wait for it...wait for it...
  108. > There it was.
  109. "A Stranger In a Strange Land!"
  110. > While the reference and the meaning of the statement seem to go WAY over her head, she DOES react to at least one thing:
  111. > The Music.
  112. > Her eyes go wide, and she has an awestruck look on her face.
  113. > "Mister Anuneemus, what was THAT?"
  114. > You give the little filly a pat on the head, avoiding the horn, and give her a big smile.
  115. "That, Dinky Doo... was Iron Maiden."