- >Pinky Pie's Diary.
- >Dear Diary, I've got the most exciting news! It's amazing! It's better than a hundred parties!
- >No, better than a million parties, swimming with derpy's cupcakes!
- >I'm so excited I could just squeel!
- >Sad thing is I can't tell anyp0ny.
- >Lucky for you Mr. Diary you're not a p0ny! Nope. no way.
- >So I was in town doing my morning birthday roundup when I totaly felt like somep0ny was watching me
- >Then I looked into the deepest-darkest shadows in the allyway next to Dr. Whooves clock shop, and saw two squinty-piggy little eyes watching me!
- >And I thought awww, the poor little piggy wiggy must be lost. I know! lets take him to fluttershy for safekeeping.
- >Skipping over to the piggy eyes I totaly-just-blinked-for-a-second and they where gone!
- >Worst of all, they where running towards the Everfree forest!
- >But it takes more than a spooky wood to stop pinky! I jaunt-ed after the piggy, and thought,
- >Golly; this is the fastest piggy I've ever seen! It could rain-boom any second!
- >Rainbow Dash my flying friend told me how bad it would be to do a rain-boom near the earth, so I jumped right on its puffing wheezing chest!
- >Then, I let out a HUGE gasp, oh I was a silly pinky, It wasn't a piggy, it was a-a---a I didn't know what!
- >It was bigger than a p0ny on two legs, and had freaky little tenticles on its front hooves. Ten wriggly in total.
- >It was coverd in clothes like rarity's fancy-pants stuff and had only a tiny-teeny mane on its head.
- >But the biggest shock was when it SPOKE!
- P-p-please don't hurt me!
- >So I said hurt you? now why would I do that silly-billy, I just wanted to say Hi! I'm Pinky Pie!
- >And why are you watching me and all my friends? It's sort-a rude you know!
- I-I'm sorry, I was just so hungry...
- >Hungry? but there's loads of daisys to eat!
- >Then it said it didn't eat hay, or daisys or bushes so I asked what he did eat and you never gess what he said Mr. Diary
- Uhh, well I ah, um. Cake?
- >The thing I found likes cake too! thats when I knew we could be friends, even if he looks strange.
- >Although, kinda nice too. Hummm. Ni-range? St-ice? Which is better?
- >Anyway I allways have cake on me for emergancy parties and as I just met the Ni-range thing we
- >Had a cosy-little-welcome party in its tent in the forest.
- >After it ate all the cake faster than me I said ooh let me bring my friends over to say hi but that made anon (odd name huh? what kind mere names their foal anon?)
- >Look even more scared then he was allready, and he made me promise not to tell the others he existed.
- >And Pinky keeps her promises! (so don't tell anyone Diary!)
- >I'm going out to see anon tomorow, I've soooo many questions to ask him, like what's his favourite colour, cupcake, game........
- >Pinky Pie's Diary.
- >Celestia's hoof-clippings! I just cant stand it! I just wanna jump from roof to roof and tell everyp0ny about anon
- >But a promise is FOREVER! Unless we think a way out of it, huh Mr. Diary? what? no! bad diary! Stop saying bad things!
- >I shan't tell you anything anymore if you make naughty talk like that!
- >Ok so, It turns out that anon has been living in the forest for over a week now! I know, alone for a week in the dark with nop0ny?!?
- >Unthinkable.
- >Anyway I asked if he was from Zecora's land and he said no, then was he from the griffon-nests mountains? No. The salty-wet place? NO.
- >He said he comes from earth, and I thought he meant from under the dirt, like a slippy-slimy worm but then he said
- No, no, Pinky I come from another planet called Earth.
- >A WHOLE NEW WORLD MR. DIARY!
- >anon said Its not very nice there, but I said, If its so dirty to be called earth it must be full of green things and earth p0nys,
- >Like my friend Applejack! she's a good friend Mr. Diary. However anon said
- Applejack? Oh, the orange one? I'm sorry Pinky, but there are no p0nys on earth, only humans.
- >I think anon mumbled 'at least not like you' after that.
- >Thats what anon is! a hoo-man.
- >Then anon asked about the cutey marks he had seen on everp0ny, only he called them tatt-oos. so I said,
- >Oh you know silly, they show off what your special talent is! I know, I'll show you mine if you show me yours!
- >So I pulled down anons fancy-pants with a tug and saw he had no cutey mark! Which is sad, so I tried to make him smile.
- >Awww its O.k. anon! My uncle Jelly Diver took YEARS to find his. Funny story actually, he was in a jam factory
- >In Fillydelpha when he fell into a vat of/
- Er, well sorry, but, actually Pinky, humans don't have these uh, 'cutey marks.'
- >Then how do you know what your talent is? huh? I asked.
- Well, I supose if your lucky enough to find it, you just know. Inside.
- >So I asked what his talent was 'inside' and anon said he was a experimental phizzy-sist.
- >Then he went on to say thats how he got here. Apparantly.
- ....So I took one eye of the counter for a split-second and all hell broke loose. There was a flash of Cherenkov radiation, then I woke up here.
- >I don't know what he was saying but it sounds like magic. I'd ask twilight about Cher-en-coff magic but a promise is FOREVER!
- >I like anon, but he seems so sad and cold in the woods, with a tichy tent and damp fire. So I invited him a snuggerly bed at my place.
- Thanks for offering me a bed in the 'suger cube corner' Pinky, but I just cant risk being found.
- >why not?
- I, er , well. I might scare people; I mean p0nys. I'm an anomaly to them, a scary unknown; and when p0nys are scared they do silly things, you know?
- >Not realy, but i nodded anyway. (he's scared of us! huh, who knew?)
- >I still felt bad for anon, and wanted to help, but if I cant tell my friends about him, or take him into town how can I?
- >Then after saying goodnight and as I was walking back though luna's moonlight I started thinking, didn't Zecora once tell us a story from her land about things like hoo-mans?
- >I'm all-most certain she did! Yeah! Me, twi, and lyra where out for tea at her creepy cottage.
- >Golly gosh, I'm in the forest right now! Maybe Zecora could help me help anon if she told me more about them!
- >With a new mission I yelled 'dont you worry anon! Pinky will help you even if you dont need it!'
- >No, Mr. diary its not braking a promise, Zecora wont know I MET a hooman will she?
- Pinky Pie's Diary.
- >Oooooh, This Is worse than drinking all the cider with no porta-potty to go in!
- >It's too important now! I have to tell someone!
- >O' Mr. Diary, We are all in big, big, trouble! Like, eating bananas on the moon trouble!
- >Woo, calm down..calm down....down......down.
- *Three hours and a suger crash-induced nap later*
- >Where was I? Oh yeah, PANIC! why? oh, right.
- >I got to Zecora's no problem, and we said hi, well I said hi, she said;
- >A Pinky Pie down my path does skip, to what plesure do you owe this trip?
- >She speaks funny, all her words rhyme all the time. Oh! look! so do I!
- >Well, after some chit-chat I asked her if she would ever so kindly pretty please tell me the hoo-man story again.
- >An odd request when the hour is late, but for you I will take the bait.
- >It was very nice of her to act out the story again, with all smoke and lights and the creepy maskes who did the harmonising.
- >You should have seen it Mr. Diary. Just for you heres a best-of!
- >Long ago when the world was new, and the heavens lacked the alicorns two,
- >Upon the earth there did walk, many things that wished to talk.
- >Some of them are here today, p0ny, griffon, all to stay.
- >Then theres those who it is writ, to the dust they did bit.
- >The wangls, the sneezer, old discord, part of that forgotten hord.
- >The worst they say has but one clue, it has two feet and eyes of blue.
- >Thumbs are its seat of power, which grew daily by the hour.
- >Banished by the good and just, who fought because they new they must.
- >If not they would have spread unbound, diving us all underground.
- >safe are we to have prevailed, and locked all man accross the vail.
- >What can I say? she just described anon! Not in a good way! He has magic in his tenticals!
- >I was so shocked I ran staight home, after saying goodnight and thank you to Zecora.
- >Then Mr. Cake told me off for waking up the foals, and how late it was he was worrying.
- >Oh what to do? I cant warn the others, I cant let anon starve, and I cant let him zap us with his thumbs!
- >...........Thats sneeky Mr. Diary! I can't tell anyone.....BUT you can!
- >What if someone, just, like, FOUND you and read all about anon?
- >BWAHAHAHAHA! ITS PERFECT!
- >Sorry, Mr. Cake, I'll be quiet now.
- *Meanwhile, In the library*
- >Twilight?
- >Yes Spike?
- >I'm worried about Pinky.
- >Realy Spike, how so?
- >Well, I saw her today walking towards the woods with loads of cake.
- >Sounds like ordenary behavior to me, Spike.
- >No, Its not that, only when I said Hi, she babbled about forever and ran away.
- >Hmmm, well that is unlike her. Don't worry about it Spike, shes probaly planning somthing.
- >I'll talk to her tomorrow.
- >Thanks Twilight, goodnight.
- >Goodnight Spike.
- Pinky Pie's Diary.
- >RIGHT, heres the sneeky plan for today, Lt. Mr. Diary,
- >1. Drop off anon some food so he won't get angry or hungry and come to town thumbs blazing.
- >2. Accidently drop you near Twilight, she loves books, and she will love you Mr. Diary, Don't be scared!
- >3. When everyp0ny knows about anon, it won't be a scecret anymore.
- >4. I will have saved the day, without breaking my promise.
- >5. ??????
- >6. Profit!
- >We can talk later after our victory! Bye bye!
- *One six step plan of action later*
- >I don't belive It! IMAGINARY FRIEND?!?
- >They think anon is a little fillys fantasy?!?
- >I just don't know what went wrong, I gave anon the food; check. Dropped you while Twi asked if I was
- >Feeling o.k; check. You let her read you; check. but then she said,
- >Oh, I understand Pinky. Your playing a game with a imaginary friend in the woods.
- >What? No, Twilight, anon the hoo-man is real!
- >I'm shure he is to you Pinky, but its just not scientificly possible for such a animal to exist.
- >But, but, Zecora said...
- >An old folk tail from forever ago, for fun, not taken literaly.
- >Just follow me! I'll show you!
- >Look, maybe later Pinky o.k? I'm very busy. Why not ask Lyra to go? She's into all that stuff.
- >Then she left without another word! Thats not the worst thing though, its that they think I'm as bad as Lyra?!?
- >Wait. Thats It! Oh Twilight You are smart, no wonder Celestia chose you as her replacement!
- >I'll take Lyra to anon, that'll solve everything okie-doki-loki!
- *meanwhile, in a makeshift tent*
- Oh well. At least it can't get any worse for you, anon old boy.