Rainbro Dash thing

>It's the weekend so naturally you're at the bar, kicking back with your bro

>At least you would be if you could get rid of that nagging feeling at the back of your mind

>You know it's important, something about her...

>Ah!

>It was one of those drunken epiphanies that you forget while sober and miraculously remember when drunk again

>She's chugging down on some hard apple cider when you pose the question

>"Hey Rainbow, something I wanted to ask you."

>She cocks an eyebrow but otherwise doesn't stop in her drinking

>"You know how much trouble I've been getting with all these crazy mares. I guess I was wondering why you were never one of them."

>Woops, that cider's now across most of the bartop, was that an awkward question to ask?

>"Anon, c'mon man, you know a bro can't do those kinda things."

>She watches you for a moment more, her expression blank and unreadable

>You nod to her, accepting it as having made perfect sense

 

>With drinks done you realise the night is, in fact, still quite young

>You're out on the streets of Ponyville, passing one of the cafés when you ask her what you could do

>With a wicked grin she turns to you

>"How about a strip bar?"

>"Dash... what are you talking about?"

>"Yeah, yeah, I know you're not into ponies but it'd still be fun, right?"

>"No I mean... uh... where is this strip bar? I'm pretty sure I've never seen it in the red light district of Ponyville."

>You look about, examining the streets as clearly as your buzzed mind allows

>"In fact... pretty sure Ponyville doesn't have a red light district."

>"I can't believe you've been here this long and still don't know about... alright, c'mon, Anon, we're gonna get you a good time."

 

>She's lead you out of the town and off in a direction somewhere between Fluttershy's cottage and Sweet Apple Acres

>This is dangerous territory but your bro assures you it's safe and if not she's got your back

>After mudge trudging and very, very few ponies gyrating against poles you're finally lead to a run down shack

>Really?

>"Where else better than the basement of a shack nop0ny care about?"

>"Sure, okay. But you gotta admit, it's a little weird you're coming with me right? Or am I in for a night of having my cheeks smacked by pony dong?"

>She suppresses a snigger, assuring you that they're all mare

>"Oh, so just like you huh?"

>Oh yeah, getting her cheeks red is suitable payback

 

>Down in the strip joint it's the usual fare of smoke and cheap drinks, well cheaper than the swill you get in Ponyville's chief bar

>Crap music could be heard from some distance away and now its almost drowning out all sound, except for the stallions and few mares cheering the stage

>Dash seems unfazed, leading you in and plonking you down on one of the worn seats, right up at the stage itself

>"Chill, bro, I'll be back with some booze."

>Yeah, you wish you could

>Those pony gyrations aren't nearly as easy to watch as you thought they would

>Still, it's some sort of outlet for the pent up sexual desires you've stifled during your time here

>"Alright, I got us the cheapest drinks I could so we've still got plenty of bits for the mares."

>Before you can thank her or ask her what the hell the DJ begins talking over the music

>"Ladies and gentlecolts please give a lusty Unicorn's Pride welcome to the one, the only, The Sensual and Sexy Trixie!"

>Strange, that name sounds familiar for some reason

>And why the hell is your bro in fits of laughter beside you?

 

>There's no time to ask before the crowd erupts into uproarous cheer and your bro completely loses it

>She's pretty much rolling around on the ground, clutching her sides and whatnot

>Out on the stage struts... yeah, that sounds about right... struts an azure mare with a light blue and white streaked mane

>As she makes her way down the catwalk you can see her smile is rather forced

>You can also see the way her fishnet stockings hug her thighs pretty nicely

>Okay, no that wasn't the kind of thought you should be having

>And penis you can stop twitching about down there this is none of your concern, clear?

>By now Dash has pulled her self back onto her chair but is still struggling to contain her laughter

>You're alternating looks between the two when it finally hits you

>This is that unicorn bitch that pretty much fucked over your best bro

>So yeah, okay, you guess it's fine to take just a little pleasure in this

>But only because it's payback for your righteous bro!

>"H-Hey, Anon, why don't you call her over? Maybe we can help her out!"

>"You sure, bro? This is the unicorn that-"

>"No, no! Really, we gotta do this!"

 

>The lights change from their previous purple and white to softer blue tones

>Trixie is now at the end of the walkway, sizing up the pole

>Colts all around are whooping and cheering

>A few appear to be jeering, maybe they know her history too?

>With a visible huff, the mare approaches the pole and wraps a fore and hind leg around it

>A lean back turns into a twirl

>And that's when she spots you

>Her previous demeanor changes, her smile at least appearing to become genuine

>She stalks over sultrily, eyes half-lidded

>"Well, well, if it isn't the human! The Sensual and Sexy Trixie is sure you are familiar with show-business?"

>She's lying down, pointedly ignoring Rainbow and keeping her gaze fixed on you

>"I've seen a few productions in Manehatten but you've been absent from them. What's wrong? Can't perform on stage without a pole?"

>You hear Dash cackling at your side and for a moment Trixie glares at her

>Only a moment, as she quickly returns to smiling at you

>"Hmm, Trixie prefers the more sensual side of the business. It allows her to meet interesting individuals like you."

>"Uh-huh?"

 

>"As another being of renown in this land surely you're no stranger to the wealth that follows?"

>Ah yes, she's eying your pockets now

>Maybe...

>"Hey Trix, I'll give you all this to give Anon here a good lap dance!"

>Dash, now just about holding back laughter hefts a bag of bits from out of her wings and onto the stage next to Trixie

>Trixie finally acknowledges Rainbow, her glare returning

>"T-The Great and... Powerful Trixie doesn't have to take this!"

>She rises and stalks off to another of the patrons

>Only to have them redirect her back to you

>As does another

>And another

 

>This goes on until finally she's called back to the end of the walkway

>A blue pegasus is talking with her angrily

>She points a hoof towards you

>He looks down, eyes widening before resuming his talk, apparently angrier

>"Dude, Anon, I think we kinda broke her!"

>"Least she deserves for what she did to you."

>"You're sooo sweet defending my honour!"

>"I'm just buttering you up to get into your panties, you know."

>She blushes suddenly, her laughter stopping

>Shit, did you push it too far?

>No, she's laughing again... sort of

>"C-c'mon Anon, I thought we agreed on no more sex jokes, huh?"

>"Really? Because I thought-"

>Your speech is cut short by the stomping hooves of one very pissed looking Trixie

>"Very well, Trixie will put on her show for you. Just don't expect to have your lust fulfilled, Trixie does not offer... ugh, lap dances."

 

>Now this presents a nice opportunity

>You reach into your pocket and take out a generous fistful of bits, depositing them in front of her rapidly widening eyes

>"I'll give you what she did, plus this, if you give -her- a lap dance."

>Pomf!

>Whoah, maybe you did go too far that time, your bro seems to have gotten the shock of her life

>Trixie is looking between Rainbow and the bits, lip bitten and brow furrowed

>You're just about to call it off when

>"Fine! Trixie will accede to your licentious demands!"

>"Anon, c'mon! Wh-what're you doing?"

>"Bet you never thought I'd like to see you getting a little action, eh?"

>Double whoah! If those wings go any stiffer they're liable to fall off

>She's not backing out so maybe... does she... ?

>Nah, she's obviously just going to enjoy making Trixie squirm

>You know you are

 

>Some of the stallions at the bar are now standing just off from the three of you, more drink on the floor than in their mouths

>Others from across the walkway have climbed onto it to watch

>Most of the mares, including a few waitresses, have also pushed their way through, whistling and calling out to Trixie and your bro

>"This is so... why are you looking at me like that!"

>You've given your bro one of your best grins to pass on to Trixie which she's dutifully done

>"Aww, c'mon, Trix. We all know the only reason you were so up about getting one over us was because you wanted to impress us."

>A few cheers ring out from the crowd

>"The way you tied Applejack up? I was sure you were going to sneak her into your trailer."

>Trixie, desperately trying to keep her act going, falters hearing that

>You're pretty sure you can see steam coming from her ears

>"H-hey Trixie, now's your chance for some action!"

>That's when it all happens

>Trixie throws herself off Rainbow who is now looking at you wide eyed and red faced

>Okay, now you know you've taken this too far, definitely need to lay off the cheap liquor in future

>Before she can make any protests you shoo Trixie off, who does so only stopping to gather the veritable mountain of bits on the stage

>Your bro isn't looking at you as you coax her out of the chair and lead her out of the club

>"Give it up for Trrrrixie! Alright, we've got a treat for all you you tonight. Making yet another special appearance is none other than the princess of passion, the spankable, the flankable Madame Rarity!"

 

>You're leading your bro home, a bro who hasn't said a word, when you take it upon yourself to break the tension

>"Listen, about back in the club-"

>"No, it's fine, really."

>This is kind of out of nowhere

>"We... we had a good time right? Heh, heh, you really liked the show huh?"

>She's looking at you hopefully, you guess it can't hurt to say, if it bolsters your bro's spirits

>"Yeah, sure it was pretty good actually. Just, you know, don't think I'm some sort of pony pussy craving maniac or anything."

>Saints alive, would you just knock off the jokes!

>You'd just got her to smile when she looked off blushing again

>"I... I wouldn't think you're weird..."

>How is she such a bro even? Even in the face of you admitting you might, possibly, kinda like ponies she's not going to call you out on it

>"Rainbow? You're a true RainBRO, you know that?"

>You guess the moods too soured for her to offer anything but a small smile

>"Sure Anon. Wanna hang out tomorrow? You still have the rest of the weekend off, right?"

>She turns but you grab her shoulder

>"Hey."

>You take hold of the upper part of her foreleg and hold it out

>"You know I've always got your back, right? You and me? There's no one closer."

>That's your Rainbow Dash, right there, beaming at you

>"I know, Anon, you know I'll always be there for you too."

>And with that, she's off up into her cloud house

>Another successful night with the Dash under your belt

 

>Morning but with a twist

>You're kinda sick of always making the same bland breakfast of foods you can cook

>Which is probably also a good reason to take up cookery lessons or something, maybe Pinkie'd help? Dash would be sure to join in

>In any case, you're flapping your mental jaw while your stomach's gettin' hongry hombre

>You vaguely recall being out in an eatery area, maybe there's something good there

>You pull up a chair at a good enough looking place and make an order of some bizzare yet tasty sounding dish you can't quite pronounce correctly

>"Darling, so good to see you out early for once!"

>Celestia, if you're listening, you'd be eternally grateful if she could send you to the moon

>"And without Rainbow Dash no less! One would think the two of you are joined at the hip, you're never without her."

>"Rarity I'd love to talk but uh... I'm just about eat and..."

 

>"Oh nonsense, I shall only beg a moment of your time and then I'll be off to create my next sensation! Hmm, perhaps I could ask you to stop by later and offer some of that uniquely human input? There'd be a candle-light supper in it for you!"

>"You had something you wanted to talk about?"

>"Ah yes! That..."

>She suddenly drops her voice, leaning in to you

>"I, ah, heard you were in attendance at one of our town's... less reputable establishments last night."

>"And if I was?"

>"Oh no matter! No matter at all! You're a gentleman with all the wild, passionate urges that come with it..."

>She appears to allow her mind wander, looking off into space before whipping back down to you

>"It's just that... -you- may have heard some scandalous rumours about yours truly."

>"The spankable, the flankable?"

>It's impossible to keep from grinning at how flustered she becomes

>"Keep it down, please! I-I just wanted you to know I'm only doing it for my dear sister."

>That's sick

>"She needs all the help she can get towards her college fund after all. Well! Now that that's cleared up perhaps I shall join you."

>It is at this point that a rather distinct shadow draws across your would-be assailant

>Rainbow Dash, future Wonderbolt and tru patriot of Bromany to your rescue!

 

>There's something like a two-pony equivalent of a Mexican stare off

>"Did it, uh, get colder?"

>The two seem rather intent on staring each other down.

>"Rainbow Dash, how... good of you to join us."

>"You know I'm always ready to catch -my- bros."

>"Yes, well, he and -I- were just discussing the finer points of a rendezvous dans l'arrondissement meilleur de Ponyville!"

>Dash stamps a hoof, snorting and flaring her wings out

>A part of you almost hopes she finally puts Rarity in her place

>Also wouldn't it be kinda hot to see two girls okay let's cut that train of thought off right there

>"If you're not even gonna talk to me plainly there's no point in talking at all."

>"Finally we're in agreement."

>Your waiter, seeing the two indomitable forces at odds, makes the better of delivering your food

>Much to the great annoyance of your now cannibalistic stomach

>"Now, Anon, shall we away?"

>Dash is suddenly giving a look of horror like you've just run through her cloud house brandishing the severed heads of her parents while smearing the blood over your naked body

>"Rarity, there's only one pony I want to spend time with in private and she's not the kind to flaunt her ass for money."

>A number of heads turn to that juicy piece of gossip

>Well shit, you've pretty much summoned the wrath of one of Equestria's premier megabitches down upon yourself

>Good job, fucko

>But she's looking at Rainbow?

>"He'll never be yours. Don't ever forget that, Rainbow Dash!"

 

>And with that she's gone

>Thank fuck

>Rainbow sits down opposite you, naturally

>You need your bro if you're going to settle those jimmies down

>But not until

>"Crazy, huh? But, uh... what did she mean with that last bit?"

>"Whu?"

>Rainbow cranes her neck around you to look after her

>"She's just pissed she'll never get into bed with you."

>"Yeah, I gathered that much by the way she's pretty much focused her entire energies onto some sexual crusade against my cockstantinople."

>Okay, no you just can't go on

>Neither can Dash as you both allow the spirit of Dionysus to wash over yourselves and revel in the ridiculousness of that pun

>"Okay, seriously though, why would she even mention you if she's pissed -she- can't get me into bed?"

>And Dash is suddenly quiet, no blushing, nothing so she can't be that upset about it

>"She... she probably thinks I'm like them. That I just want you for the sex."

>"Dash, look-"

>"I told you before, right? I can't do that."

>"Dash... if it's any consolation, you're my RainBRO, okay? I know we don't see each other like that, don't worry."

>She doesn't say anything, though

>But she must just be beat up about Rarity still though, right?

>"Listen, let's just eat and get to hanging out, hm? We've got the whole day, just you and me and I know there's not a pony else I'd wanna share it with."

>And just like that you've got her to crack a smile

>Yeah but seriously now, food

 

>With full bellies and contented hearts you are a veritable Gilgamesh and Enkidu, ready to rip this world a new asshole and jam your colossal cocks into the hole

>Except one of you isn't going to die leaving the other pissed off about going to die but

>"Hey Anon."

>Good thing you've got Dash around to keep you from slipping into that bullshit more often

>"I know we didn't exactly plan anything today but I had an idea."

>"Just as long as it doesn't involve pole pumping ponies pressing pulsating privates against perverted people I'm all for it."

>She's just looking at you like you've said the dumbest shit ever

>It is at this exact moment you recall that Rainbow Dash is never, ever wrong

>"Yeah... aaanyway, I was thinking maybe we could do an old fashioned race. I think you could do with the workout."

>"You implying something there, Dash?"

>"Just that I want to see you rippling with muscles! B-because then... you wouldn't have to rely on me being so awesomely strong! T-that's it!"

>Right

>"So this race, where would it take place?"

>"Just from here to Whitetail Woods."

>"No holds barred?"

>"Down and dirty."

>It's tempting to quip about her having a one-track mind but you've already agreed to cut down the sex jokes, do you have selective retrograde amnesia idiot?

>"And let's just say I'm all for this fiasco, when would it happen?"

>"Right about... now!"

>And true to her name she's gone in a multicoloured blur

>Still, if ever there was an incentive to get running it's to finally, -finally- get one over Rainbow

 

>Equines being the quadruped hoofbeasts they are easily outrun a puny human like yourself

>That doesn't stop your bro from slowing down to keep you paced

>You've pretty much accepted that you're never going to give this li'l filly a run for her money

>"C'mon Anon, lift those legs!"

>How is she not even breaking a sweat? It's not like it's a short sprint

>"Yeah... well... keep flapping... those.... pretty wings!"

>Direct hit! She is down!

>At least on her hooves now she's having to actually put some work into beating you but c'mon this is Rainbow Dash

>She's looking back at you and laughing and it's impossible not to let yourself get caught up in it

>You'd seen their Running of the Leaves before and the lush greens of summer are a nice contrast to that

>There really is a feeling of just being utterly alive

>You really guess you owe this newfound ability of being able to take pleasure in these little things to your bro

>She's been regularly taking you out to exercise and generally have a good time with more physical activities and it's definitely paid off

>Finally reaching the other side of Whitetail Woods

>And after much cheering and rubbing-in-dirt by Dash you're now left to bask in the satisfaction of a good race

>Well, you would except there's one of those nagging feelings again

>"Hey bro, doesn't Fluttershy live out near here?"

>"Huh? Oh yeah, I guess if we'd taken the west route we'd have avoided her area. Eh but it's not like-"

>"What's that mister squirrel? My human friend's just out beyond the fir trees? Well aren't you just the most precious little thing!"

>Shit

 

>"Alright, so you distract her with your good looks and charm and I'll grab. Then we both give her a working over."

>"Dash... I don't want to hurt her. I don't think I've reached that point yet."

>"Yeah, you're right, she'd just cry anyway."

>Is she... she can't be serious

>Okay, Fluttershy is about to round that corner any-

>Right now

>"Anon! What a pleasant surprise running into you so close to my home where you can relax and enjoy some tea and sex... I-I mean scones."

>Looking to your side she spots your compadre and quickly retreats into herself

>"O-oh... Hi Rainbow Dash..."

>Sighing heavily Dash flits over to the mare

>"Look, 'Shy, we've just finished a run so if you don't mind we-"

>"You've been running! B-but that'd mean Anon's all sweaty!"

>Sure enough, with her nose to the wind like some sex-crazed bloodhound she picks up your scent

>"O-oh my, we'll have to get that thing off you right away."

>In a rare moment of being actually able to move quicker than Rainbow can react she's in front of you and tugging at your shirt

>"Fluttershy! Stop... fuck... ow! Fuck! Okay, fine!"

>Now trying to work with her, the shirt is removed whereupon she presses it tightly to her face and inhales deeply

>Oh god, the way she shivers... you really, really hope she isn't getting herself off right now

>"Oh my.... Oh Anon... y-you really should come in and... take a shower..."

>"And he'd love to, 'Shy, but you don't even have his soap-

>"Oh but-"

>"-You don't have spare clothes-"

>"But he won't-"

>"Plus he's already tired -now-."

>"Oh..."

>Wow, the way she looks so dejected almost makes your heart bleed

>"How about you take him out for a massage the next time you and Rarity have one of your... eugh, spa dates."

>Stay calm, Anon, there's gotta be some rhyme to this insanity

>Keep it cool, do not start picturing Rarity and Fluttershy running their oiled up hooves OH GOD FUCK NO DASH WHAT ARE YOU DOING

>"Of course! Oh that would be just, wonderful. I-I'll just keep this... to wash..."

>"Right, 'Shy, catch you later."

 

>With Fluttershy safely out of earshot it's now time to put paid to this madness

>"A massage? Really? You know Aloe and Lotus are basically-"

>"Dude, c'mon, I'll just tell them that day that we've gotta help Pinkie with a big order and they can invite you to a sleepover the next time they have one.

>"Sure but what about when they finally-"

>"Relax, Anon, sometimes you just gotta live for the moment, y'know?"

>But at saying that she suddenly looks away, not blushing again but just... contemplative?

>Huh

>"Look, that wasn't a bad idea about the shower, think I'll take one. Feel like waiting back at the house and we can get up to some mischief after?"

>Out go those wings

>But she probably needs to stretch them after all that exertion

>"S-sure, Anon, I just.... gotta take care of something first. Meet you back at the house?"

>"You got it, bro."

>Why is she wincing? Ah, probably found a kink in one of her wings

 

>In the shower you're thankful that despite its schizophrenic level of technology, at least Equestria has the whole indoor plumbing thing down

>Without being able to stop yourself your thoughts wander to some spank material

>Heh, spank material

>Spank

>Flank

>Spankinest, flankinest

>Jesus fuck, get Rarity out of your head

>Okay, what now?

>Trixie... actually didn't look too bad in those stockings

>Whoah, slow down there boner!

>Just need to find something bad... something no boner could possibly stand against

>Okay... Granny Smith

>Not good enough... Granny Smith and... Mr Waddle!

>No! NO! PULL IT BACK!

>Christ, you don't want to lose your lunch

>Just fucking wash yourself and try to rub some of the shame off while you're at it

 

 

>Now to find some clothes and maybe grab a Rainbow Dash while-

>Rainbow Dash?

>"Rainbow!"

>She's lying on your bed, flipping through a book when she looks up

>And you, in your nakedness, can feel only the great and terrible hand of shame squeeze down on you

>Oh god her face is crimson and her wings are at maximum pomf, this is not good!

>Don't just stand there asswhole, do something!

>Right, running into the bathroom is probably not a ridiculously bad idea

>"Anon! I-I'm... buck, I'm sorry! I just... I wanted to check out your books and-"

>"It's okay! Let's... can we just forget this or something? Like do ponies have those high powered lasers that remove tattoos only for memories?"

>Nothing and then a chuckle

>Chuckle turns into laughter

>"I'm sure Twilight's got a spell we could use. But... it's not that terrible is it? I mean you see me... naked... all the time right?"

>Huh, that kinda does make sense

>Plus she is your bro so you shouldn't feel so conspicuous

>But right now you can concentrate on not making this any more unbearably awkward

>"Could you just throw me in some clothes?"

>"Uh..."

>"Boxer shorts, jeans and a shirt."

>"Right, just a sec..."

>The three items come sailing in without so much as a hair of Dash being seen after

>Alright, now to get this stuff ON

 

>With clothes finally on and more than a couple of checks to make sure you didn't just pretend to do so you're out

>Rainbow looks like she's making a show of not looking at the doorway into the bathroom

>"Okay, I know I should apologise..."

>She snaps her attention to you

>"No! I mean it's fine, right? Like I said, it's not the worst thing in the world to happen."

>Huh, she's probably more worried about your embarrassment than her own

>"Since that little stunt back at Unicorn's Pride-"

>She flinches

>Probably wasn't a good idea to bring that back up again

>"Sorry. Again, by the way. I'm running a little low on cash so I think we'll have to eat here."

>"Oh what, and let you make the word's worst dinner? How about my place?"

>"Great! I'll just get another of my stalkers to cast who knows what spell on me and wind up with my face buried between her legs eating her."

>Despite her obvious blush Dash still laughs heartily

>"Yeah, like you'd like fried egghead. I know you've got a sweet tooth so how about Pinkie Pie."

>So begins the battle of wills

>Dash is obviously losing straight off the mark as she can't keep her mouth from splitting and no covering her mouth with her wings doesn't stop the sound of her sniggering

>"Alright, how about someplace else? If you're trying to get me fit I can't keep going to Sugarcube Corner, Chez Hay?"

>"Sure *snerk* sure."

 

>This is one of the more down to earth places in Ponyville, somewhere you and Dash both like to frequent when eating out

>It's quiet enough around this time, being just before the main dinner rush

>It's also a good time to have a quiet chat with your bro about something particularly important

>"Hey, bro, mind if we talk for a second?"

>She munches down on a mouthful of hay fries before nodding silently

>"After the last night at... that place, I think... shit, this is hard..."

>"C'mon Anon, you can talk to me, it's okay."

>"Right, right... so like I was saying I think..."

>Okay Anon, pull it together, this is your RainBRO she's not going to judge you

>"... I think I might be ready to start dating ponies..."

 

>Oh fuck shit FUCK FUCK

>Now you can safely go down in the annals of history as being the one to kill the Element of Loyalty

>Or not, she seems to have coughed those hay fries up

>"Dude! That... just a sec..."

>Yeah, you'd quite happily give a few months so you could straighten out how you're going to say this

>"Alright, you... whoah, that's a lot to lay down on a pony. Don't get me wrong!"

>She's beaming now, probably the happiest you've seen her in months

>What a bro, she really does just want you to be happy

>"This is great! Awesome! Dude, you're gonna be so much happier now you'll be getting some!"

>"Let's just... how about taking it slow, huh? I'm not sure I'm ready for full on straps and paddles, tying helpless ponies up in my sex-dungeon to live out my depraved fantasies."

>Damn, she's blushing again

>It's easy to forget ponies aren't quite as graphic in their humour

>"So you're really okay with this?"

>"Of course I am! You're like, the closest person to me, right? How could I not be okay with what makes you happy!"

 

>You let out a mental breath you didn't know you'd been holding

>As much of a bro as she is there are some things you'd think would be too much even for her

>"Alright. Great. That's... great. So now I guess we've gotta get ourselves out there and prowl the market. Suggestions?"

>Good lord you're actually doing this...

>"It's the weekend. We could always go back to the Unicorn's Pride."

>"You're okay with that?"

>"Heck yeah!"

>Something about this doesn't seem quite right though

>Something is terribly, terribly wrong here but you just can't figure it out

>Still, you've got a bro who you can now bounce ideas off so that's good right?

>She can give you pointers on positions and techniques and you're not going to think about the sex yet

>Sex

>With ponies

>You always knew it would have to happen some day

 

>Somewhere between Dash picking out clothes she thought accentuated your looks and the walk to the strip club you finally realised what the hell was wrong here

>"Hey bro... if this place is mostly stallions and only a few mares... why do you think they're the kind of mares who'd want a man? A human male no less?"

>"I dunno, maybe something about a place full of horny guys. Plus they're obviously not uptight enough not to consider it. AND none of the ponies we've gotta keep you away from hang out here."

>That sort of makes sense

>Probably best you just roll with it

>Actually, you're pretty sure you saw Berry Punch here the last time

>Girl like that, who likes her liquor, would make the perfect kind to spend time with you and your bro

>You're again settled into a chair close to the stage and with more of that cheap booze

>God you wish it was stronger, you're gonna need all the help you can get to go through with this

>Dash is off... doing her thing, making suggestions to mares and

>Why is she... is she standing on her hind legs? Why is she pumping her hips like that? No don't point at you!

>Oh christ oh fuck oh christ oh fuck oh christ oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck

>She's bringing a pegasus over

>Okay, she doesn't look too bad, light blue coat, blonde mane, pleasant smile

>"Hey, Anon, this is an old friend of mine, Cloud Kicker."

>She's blushing lightly, not quite meeting your gaze

>"Hello. Rainbow Dash has told me... quite a lot about you."

>"Yeah, I'll bet she has."

>Your withering glare does nothing to take the smirk off Dash's face

>"I'll just let you two get to know each other and, uh, just get something to drink."

>Wait no, don't go!

>Fuck

 

>How do you do this even?

>Do ponies just socialise in the same way as of course they do!

>What's wrong with you, this is E Z! Just think of her as a pony shaped girl

>"So... Cloud Kicker..."

>"You can just call me Kicks."

>She giggles sweetly

>Okay, that is actually pretty nice

>"Kicks... this really is some place, huh?"

>She levels her eyes and widens her smile

>"Why don't we go somewhere a little more suitable?"

>Of course

 

>Thankfully her idea of suitable wasn't the kind of outlandish nightmares your obviously now insane mind imagined

>Just a nice, normal little restaurant

>No one is staring at you, no one is talking about how disgusting it is that this guy is in a romantic setting with another species

>Normal

>Normal!

>"... course she always used to turn up late but she more than makes up for it."

>With your attention back on your... date... you see her cock her head to the side slightly

>"You okay, Anon? I-Is the food alright?"

>"What? Huh? Oh! Yeah, it's fantastic! Best salad I've had in my time here!"

>There's that sweet little giggle again

>"You don't need to feel nervous, you know. Why don't we just enjoy ourselves and let the evening take us where it wants?"

>You sigh heavily, finally letting go of some of that stress

>"Sorry. Sorry, it's just this is so new to me. No but you're right, there's no reason we can't just enjoy this."

>And enjoy it you did

>Laughs were shared and dinner was indeed good

>You might even say the lighting of the moon caught her mane and eyes nicely

>But you're not quite at that stage yet

 

>Walking her home there's little more to be said between you but it's a pleasant, companionable silence that falls

>"Well, this is me!"

>"Yep. Listen, Kicks, thanks for such a good night. I mean it, you've really helped me easy myself into this."

>"You don't have to think anything of it. Except..."

>"Hmm?"

>"If you wanted to you really could thank me."

>O....kay?

>"My little house gets terribly lonesome at the weekends when everyp0ny else is out enjoying themselves with their partners."

>No...kay

>That sweet smile has become decidedly more predatory

>And why is she advancing towards, uh oh

>"I'm sure you know what that's like. So... why don't we keep each other company tonight?"

>The light from the moon suddenly makes you all the more aware of how dark it is

>How it's so quiet and you could easily be trapped confined taken in

>"Listen... Kicks, I don't want to spoil the evening but..."

>Wow

>It's amazing how quickly a pony's expression can go from seductive to heartbroken

>"Oh... I see..."

>"Yeah. It's just... I don't think I'm ready for... that..."

>"No, no it's okay. I... I understand."

>No she doesn't

>"Look, if you want to keep this going we can go out again."

>"Okay."

>This isn't awkward at all

>gentlebreeze.wav

>"Goodnight, Anon."

>And before you get a chance to return it you're left there, on her doorstep

>This is going to make an interesting story

 

>Drowning your sorrows with confectionery may not have been the best idea you've had this week

>Definitely better than going along last night

>You'd spent the better part of the night lying awake, wondering if telling Dash had been the right thing

>If you had even meant what you said

>You knew you wanted companionship but this would probably be just the first step on a long road

>Goddamnit, sweets, you're supposed to make it easier to forget this shit why-

>Oh right, sweets not alcohol

>"Hey, Anon, Dashie told me you had a hot date last night!"

>At any other time you'd be happy to see your bro's mutual friend but right now... it was just a little too much

>"Oh, that bad huh?"

>"It's my own fault, Pinkie. I couldn't give her what she wanted."

>"That's no problem, it even happens to Mr Cake sometimes! I bet any mare would love to take a spin on those fingers of yours instead!"

>What

>Double fucking what

>"Pinkie, I don't mean... my dick's working fine!"

>Okay, probably not the best idea you've ever had - nearly yelling that out, just outside a sweet shop

>"Then why couldn't you give her the old heave-ho-down-she-goes?"

>"It's... complicated."

 

>"Oh! You mean you're having an ethical crisis about the nature of your humanity, predicated upon the social mores of engaging in intercourse with what you perceive to be a lower class of species!"

>Did... did she just say... what did she say?

>"But it's really a lot more simple than you make it!"

>Where the hell is that music coming from...

>"In fact...

>When your date hasn't gone too well,

>And you're really not that swell,

>Just come on by,

>No need to cry,

>And Pinkie will turn things arou~nd!

 

>Oh you're sure to find the mare of your dreams,

>It's hard and takes time but you'll succeed!

>And when you do she'll make your heart beam,

>As long as in bed you can leave her relieved!

>(You know she'll never leave you after that!)

 

>There's no need to search far she's just right here,

>Even though you're scared she's the one for you!

>Gotta open your eyes and see that she's near,

>She's the spunky blue pony all colured in blue!

>(Even Derpy knows who that is!)

 

>Now listen up Anon, I won't lead you astray,

>Just trust in your friends they know what's best!

>Follow my advice and you'll see the way,

>And with your new lover you'll find peaceful rest!

>(But not too much of it!)

 

>So throw your arms wide and take her in,

>She's been waiting for you oh so long!

>Let your new love life finally begin,

>And at last give something to your ol' dong!

 

>There are no words for what you have just heard

>Pinkie has fucking used them all and left you a mute moron

>You stare blankly at her while she poses on your table, ponies all around ignoring her

>"Pinkie... okay, let me see if I got this right."

>She steps down and sits next to you, that ever-present smile seeming to grow just a little creepy

>"You think I should hop into bed with the next mare that walks by?"

>It is at this point that your attempt at solemnity leaves Pinkie in a fit of laughter

>You're pretty much exhaling nitrous oxide into her face

>The supply runs out quickly enough and she's back up next to you

>"Of course not, silly! Do you want me to sing the song again? When your..."

>"No! No, that's really fine. It'd just be great if there was someone I could actually talk to about this..."

>Looks like you've wounded the poor mare's feelings

>Bet you feel proud of yourself

>"Hey! It's not nice to just ignore a pony like that when she's trying to tell you something. You could really hurt her feelings."

>Oh right, this is the part where she gets all cryptic

>"Nuh-uh! It's perfectly clear! Sometimes you just gobble up a cupcake and you think it tastes like blueberry but you miss the little bits of strawberry and vanilla in it. Sometimes your friend wants to give you her cupcake but you don't take it because you think its got dirt and rocks and twigs in it! But she's just trying to be nice and she just wants you to be happy, 'cause she knows her cupcake would make you really happy."

       

        >"Is there anything you do that isn't make food related metaphors?"

>"Nopey-dopey-not-if-I-can-help-it-lopey!"

>"Okay Pinkie, I'm sorry, really-"

>Oh good lord, if that smile grows any larger it's actually going to split her skull in half

>"- about saying you don't understand my frustration. It's just... I don't even know what I was thinking."

>"You just want somep0ny special, Anon. Why do you have to make it more complicated than that?"

>There's something charming about Pinkie's innocent logic that leads you to smiling

>"Maybe you're right. Maybe... maybe I just need to loosen up a little."

>"And Pinkie would -love- to help you loosen up but that'd blow your mind right now."

>Before you can ask her what she means she's tittering into your shoulder

>"Ooh, here comes Rainbow Dash! I bet -she's- gonna be happy about last night!"

>Uh

>"What?"

>But she's bouncing off into Sugarcube Corner tittering before you can get any more of a response from her

>She's right though, you can easily spot your bro coming in for a landing

>If anyone'll know how to properly console you it's her

>Wait, why would Dash have told her about your date so late last night?

 

>It almost looks like she's going to ram the town but then she's always going for the big entrances

>Of course Dash just alights gently next to you before assuming the position in a seat opposite you

>Why the hell is she grinning so widely even

>"So? How did last night go? You get any..."

>She stands again and makes a number of lewd gestures with her hips and hooves

>And sounds with her mouth

>The ponies around are no longer ignoring you

>"Yeah about that, she was just in it for the sex."

>"Duh! You're a human and she's a mare, what else were you expecting?"

>"Maybe getting to know her, growing to love her, get married, maybe take her maidenhead on our honeymoon if I finally get that sex dungeon built in time..."

>Thankfully she's not blushing at the joke this time but she does seem quite amused

>"Pfft, you sound like a little filly. Guess I'll have to find somep0ny else to go get drinks with. And to think they just got the good stuff in. The kind you can drown a bad dates sorrows with..."

>She's got her wings spread and looks about to take off

>"Then I guess you don't want to hear me console myself with all the tales of my sexual conquests before coming to Equestria..."

>She stops just a few feet off the ground, wings snapping to rigid attention

>Oh yeah, you still know how to shock her

>"Whoah, dude! Let's not say anything we might regret here. You know there's only one guy I wanna drink with, right?"

>Goddamn is it tempting to ask her if that's because she now wants you to get into her panties but you did make a bromise to knock that shit off, come on dicktard

       

        >This was pretty much the best idea Dash has ever had

>You've been enjoying regaling her in extremely gruesome detail every girl you've ever desecrated - even if most were made up - and your future plans to make a name for yourself as a great despoiler of pony sexual sensibilities

>"But... fuck, this-this'll come... what about... about you?"

>Dash slams the shot glass back down but slowly looks up to you, cheeks still red

>"Me?"

>"Yeah! You-you gotta have some stories, man."

>"Oh... yeah..."

>She's looking pretty down for some reason

>Maybe... of course!

>The whole reason she hates those sex jokes is obviously because she's had bad luck with it

>That really helps you stop feeling like a complete ass

>"Dash... no... bro, it's... it's fine, I understand!"

>Her wings snap up again as does her head

>Did she just spontaneously sober up?

>"Y-you do?"

>"Sure I do! C'mon, let's blow this joint and head back to my place! We can have some real fun there."

>Oh yeah, that's put the smile back on her lips

 

>Fun, as usual, meant some cheap action flicks and getting cosy on the couch

>Dash had actually started to press herself up against you

>That was okay, though, even bros need a little comforting now and then

>Which is why you had no problem putting an arm around her and pulling her close

>Just letting her know that she doesn't need to give two shits about whatever stallion's tiny dick couldn't satisfy her

>After that it was pretty much a blank

>You do sort of remember going to bed and Dash not going home

 

>You wake up feeling surprisingly less hungover than usual

>In fact it's almost like you feel better than you would when sober

>But that might have something to do with how hellaciously comfortable this bed is goddamn

>It's like you feel asleep in the rosy asscrack of Aphrodite

>No... it's more like you're sleeping on one of those amazing Equestrian clouds

>The bedclothes are even moving around slowly like clouds

>Wait no, this is all outta every kind of whack you know

>And if there's one thing you know it's your whack

>For starters clouds aren't usually blue

>Also, they don't have multicoloured manes and smell like Rainbow Dash

>>Not that that's a particularly disagreeable smell but then she wouldn't be your bro if she smelled like Big Macintosh after a day of bucking Fapplejack

 

>There's a sigh, a crack of kinks being stretched out, wings fluttering and then eyes opening

>"Mornin', sleepy."

>Clouds definitely don't talk

>Or have surprisingly nice rose coloured eyes and talk to you

>This is pretty much your bro, isn't it?

>Your bro

>Lying next to you in -your- bed after a night of heavy drinking

>"Uh..."

>Loading brain.exe

>Please wait...

>Brain.exe initialised

>Begin panic startup sequence

>You practically jump out of the bed

>Rainbow jolts up, her wide eyes upon you

>Oh god she's judging you isn't she?

>She probably thinks you're some perverted ponyphile, plying her with booze to get into her panties

>Why is it now that your brain decides to point out, after all those other times you brought it up, that ponies don't wear panties

>They should though - knock it off, treacherous brain!

>"Rainbow... we didn't... did we?"

>"Hang on..."

>She unceremoniously jams a hoof between her hind legs

>Roots around a bit yeah you can probably just turn your head away right about now

>"Nope, I'm clean."

>Praise Celestia!

 

>With that messy business taken care of you tell a morose looking Dash

>Why does she look so down?

>Nevermind, you've really got to shower

>With that done and Dash thinking the better part than to wait in your room this time, you head downstairs

>Being the pony equivalent of a nuclear reactor that needs to constantly do something to expend the energy, she's helpfully making breakfast

>Okay, waffles aren't exactly the most complex thing in the world but goddamn if having them made by your bro doesn't make them at -least- twenty percent sweeter

>That happy silence between bros sets in as you chow down

>Yeah, you're actually going to have to get Dash to do this more often considering how they're cocaine in waffle form

>She's got the plate in her hooves licking it

>You really don't want to see her face when you say this so this is probably the best time to say it

>"Y'know this morning was awkward, sorry if that was my fault about last night. Heh, good thing we didn't get up to anything right?"

>Fuck! Dash! Don't slam the plate down so hard, you've only got a few!

>And why is she looking so pissed?

>"Would it really have been so bucking terrible if we did?!"

 

>"Bro, seriously, what are you talking about?"

>"Ugh, again with the bro!"

>"That's because that's what you are."

>"WHY!"

>Now this is kinda out of nowhere. Again

>"Why is it that any other mare is just bucking fine for you but I'm stuck being your bro?"

>"What do you mean 'stuck'? You're too awesome to not be my bro."

>"Just stop calling me that!"

>She's digging her hooves into the table, nostrils flared and wings out

>It doesn't take a Ph.D. in Pony Sociology to tell she's -fucking- pissed

>"Rainbow, where's this coming from?"

>"Exactly! You're too buckin' stupid to even see what's right in front of you!"

>"Well how about you fuckin' enlighten me!"

>"What's the point! If you can't already see it I'm just wasting my time!"

>"Is it about Cloud Kicker? I'm sorry I didn't get with her, I told you I wasn't ready!"

>"Bucking Cloud Kicker? BUCKING CLOUD KICKER?"

 

>Okay, now she's ON the table, staring you down like some ice-cold motherfucker

>Which she might as well be at this stage

>"Why do you think I set you up with a mare I knew just wanted to get you into bed? Why do you think I brought you out to the buckin' strip bar? Spend all my time with you? Work out with you?"

>Celestia must have teleported in because that ice-cold motherfucker has been replaced by a blue pegasus who's tearing up

>"Get drunk so I can barely walk with you? Why do you -think- I said I can't get with you because I'm your bro?"

>That certainly threw a spanner into the gearworks of your mind

>She'd told you a couple of nights ago at the bar that she's just not like that, she wouldn't do it and you say as much

>"No! No, I didn't I wouldn't I said I -couldn't-! I'm your bro and bros... bros don't..."

>Okay, this is getting too much

>Having her scream at you is one thing but there's no way you're just going to let her break down like this

>"Rainbow..."

>She's not listening, looking away from you

>"... bro's can't... they don't... they're not-not allowed..."

>And just like that she's up, opened the door and off into the air

>Fuck

 

 

>You'd already known how much your bro meant to you before she literally and fucking figuratively flew out of your life

>You didn't know that it would actually be turn out to be a much, much greater need

>It's been what... a week? You don't know any more, you don't care

>Dash had been right before, Pinkie was about the only other pony you could call a friend besides her

>There was the sneaking suspicion Pinkie would know Dash was upset and it was your fault, even if you -still- didn't know why

>So that's why you couldn't make breakfast this morning

>That's why you'd been avoiding making breakfast for yourself all this time

 

>It's a little comforting to think Dash probably cleared the skies this morning

>At least there was the chance you might have seen her

>She's definitely not anywhere above the café now

>"Helooo! Darling, I thought I'd never get another chance to see you again!"

>Oh fuck this life

>"And here I was thinkin' you'd gone an' dropped off the face o' Equestria. We need to have ourselves a talk, hon'!"

>Make that fuck a double, please

 

>"Now Anon, a little birdie told me you had something of a tiff with Rainbow. I know how awful it can be to lose somep0ny so close to you but that's just all the more reason you and I should get to know one another!"

>"You know I don't make a habit o' agreein' with Rarity but I've got to here. If you can't have her you can always have us, sugarcube."

>In some dark recess of your mind the idea almost seems palatable

>Then you remember that these two fucks have had it in for you almost since you found yourself here

>Now they're just a reminder of what you're missing, namely your RainBRO

>"Girls, I'm not in the mood for this. Can we just get to the part where you try your shtick and I find some simple way of overcoming it?"

>The two exchange a look and then give you the most terrifying grins you've ever seen on faces

>"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear: less time with Rainbow -means- more time with us."

>"Now Applejack, let's not push him. If he should wish to find himself in the company of two eligible mares who are actually willing to admit what they are to him then we should let him reach that conclusion himself, n'est pas?"

>"I guess you got yourself a point there, Rar'. Whaddaya say, sugarlumps?"

>Right, you've definitely lost whatever appetite you had before

>You can't even find words as you get up from the table and make off for your home

>Maybe you can just hole up there until your bro decides to come patch things up

>Rarity and Applejack make a show of telling you they're going to accompany you to your home, just to make sure you'll be safe

 

>Passing through the town you see all the little places you'd hang out with her - Sugarcube Corner, Chez Hay, Smooth Tones, Top Cream, Carousel Botique-

>Wait, that last one wasn't right

>Looks like your route out of town has taken you close to... oh fuck

>"Since we're here, why don't you stop in and we can have a lovely tea date. Oh it would be divine! I've just got in an order of silk cushions from Trottingham which would fit ever so snugly under you."

>"Great offer but no, I'm really not-"

>You don't have time to finish your sentence before Applejack has your legs in a lasso and pulled you on to the ground

>"It weren't no question, sugarcane."

>This is just GREAT

>Between Applejack tying you up and Rarity levitating you in they seem to have finally stumbled onto some kind of dynamic duo combination

 

>"Really, Anon, this would have been so much easier if you'd just acquiesced initially. Still, one can't deny that this way is far more... fun!"

>Applejack just chuckles, completing the Frankenstein-Igor image now passing through your brain to keep you from completely losing it and screaming like Twilight the first time she saw you naked

>You're dragged through the store front and workshop of the building before coming to a rather suspicious looking door and-

>Fan-fucking-tastic, you're being brought down

>Yep, there's the paddles, the whips, ballgags, collars, spreader-bars and whatnot

>Looks like Rarity beat you to the punch in the whole building a sex-dungeon contest

>You're brought over to a padded table, before being carefully strapped onto it

>Rarity disappears momentarily leaving you with just Chucklejack

>"Don't look so down, sweet-cheeks, I promise I'm gonna make this a good time fer the both of us. Heh, gonna make you forget all about Rainbow..."

>"You could just give up now and I won't have to use my freaky human powers on you."

>She squints down at you for a moment before giggling

>"No chance. Twilight already told me you don't got any human powers. Unless ya count that one in yer pants. Boy howdy I'd just love to get a-"

 

>"Applejack! What are you doing!"

>The tan mare whips her hooves away from your pants zipper, something you feel a momentary sense of gratitude towards Rarity for

>A Rarity who's now wearing a skimpy silk thong and stockings?

>This is definitely going to be fucking terrible

>"I told you we're going to take this slow and draw out the... pleasure as much as possible."

>AJ shuffles on her hooves, looking down while Rarity climbs onto the table and stands over you

>"Now, Anon, you left the Unicorn's Pride before you got to see my show which is terribly unfair, wouldn't you say so Applejack?"

>"Huh? Oh yeah, she's a real sex-machine!"

>"Ugh... in any case, I thought I may give you your own personal show from Madame Rarity!"

>She rears up on her hind legs, the thong stretching against her pelvis... dear lord, it's enough to turn you off whatever attraction you might have had for mares

>"Hoo, doggie! I'm gonna need to take my hat off for this!"

>"And now, Anon, let the show-"

>There's a series of muffled knocks from above

 

>"Oh really now, the shop is closed! Is this town full of illiterate hicks? Ah, no offence, darling."

>"None taken, just so long as you don't mind me getting first bucks."

>"Why you- fine, just go up and see who it is would you? It wouldn't do to have any attention attracted to us."

>Applejack happily trots off and up, leaving you alone with 'Madame Rarity'

>"Oh Anon..."

>She flops down next to you, pulling open your shirt with her telekinesis and idly rubbing a hoof over your chest

>"It pains me that I have to share you with that boorish farmpony but... well, she is my friend is she not? And good friends like to share things."

>Her hoof descends lower down your abdomen, sending shivers through your spine

>"Ooh! Sensitive are we? I shall have to exploit that later when I've got you in... a more suitable position."

>Are you there Celestia? It's Anon. If you could help it'd be great.

>"But don't worry yourself about that right now, we've got all the time we need."

>Luna? C'mon now, she had a great time when she last met you right?

>"And I daresay Applejack should have some interesting techniques to try out, herself."

>Discord! You can have all the cotton candy clouds you want just get your ass in here!

>"Uh, Rarity?"

>You look to see Applejack poking her head through the doorway

>"Rainbow's up here, says she needs to talk to you."

>"Hmph, of course she'd want to."

>"She also said it was really important and to do with Hoity Toity."

>"Hoity Toity? HOITY TOITY! Why didn't you say so in the first place! Out of my way!"

>And just like that, Rarity's gone

>Leaving you alone... with... oh shit...

 

>"Well, well. Looks like I've finally got you where you've always wanted to be."

>"Uh-huh? What gave it away? My constant running from you, stopping your plans or having Rainbow take you down?"

>She's assumed a position similar to Rarity's now, though this time her wandering hooves have taken a trip further south

>"C'mon now, sugarcube, you know my rump's just juicy from all the applebuckin' I do. I've seen you starin' at it, I know yer jus' holdin' back 'cause you don't wanna hurt anyp0ny's feelings."

>If you didn't think she was crazy before you do now

>There's the sound of muffled talk from upstairs, scurrying hooves and then another set trotting towards the door

>Applejack looks up to your eyes and blushes lightly

>"Don't take all my talk the wrong way, though. I'm just a simple mare but I really do want to try out some'a this stuff. All I'll ask is fer you to treat me like a mare should be, 'cause-"

>"Why don't you get back to buckin' Big Mac, I hear he's been pretty lost without his little buck-buddy."

>Discord you magnificent- er, you mean Celestia, of course. Praise the sun-goddess!

>"Rainbow! But I... you... Anon here'd fallen out with you. He'd gone and written you off!"

>The cyan mare stomps down the stairs, her gaze never leaving Applejack

>Advancing upon the table, AJ hops off and readies herself

>"That doesn't mean I'd just leave him for you to pick apart. No matter what, we've always got each others backs when it matters, right Anon?"

>You can only nod at your saviour, for fear of choking up should you speak

>This fuckin' mare, right here

 

>"So how're we gonna do this?"

>Rainbow is still advancing and now AJ has taken to making steps of her own

>"However you want it to."

>"Good, 'cause I was thinkin' I might start buckin' early!"

>With that, Applejack whirls about and throws her hooves against Rainbow

>Or so she had hoped, as she connects only with empty air

>"That the best you've got? I-"

>Your bro is cut off as this blow actually connects, sending her against the table with a sickening thud

>"This ain't no game, Rainbow. I intend to claim him fer myself."

>"He's not yours, he never was!"

>"Well he ain't yours either! He said as much himself, right?"

>This seems to send her into an utter rage

>With greater speed than you've ever seen she's in the air and then diving towards Applejack

>Who doesn't have time to react before a flight enhanced buck sends her reeling into a wall, knocking her firmly out

>"Rainbow! Goddamn, how did you even-"

>"Save it for when we're outta here."

>You don't intend to argue as she starts pulling apart the bindings holding you down

>Now out on the streets Rainbow leaps into the air just above you

>"Grab on to me."

>"What?"

>"No time, just grab onto my shoulders!"

>You do so, wondering what the hell she-

>Whoah!

>Okay, she's taking off with you hanging off her

>Probably best you hook your legs around her as best you can

>Just ignore the blush...

 

>With Dash too taken up with flight to talk you're left with your thoughts

>Why would she have come back to save you if she'd been as upset as she was?

>Sure, she's your bro but even that has its limits

>C'mon, think...

>Okay, she'd said you were too stupid to see something right in front of you

>What, her?

>She set up you with a mare she knew just wanted sex

>She knew you weren't ready for the sex yet

>If she was your bro why would she even do that?

>Why -did- she spend practically all her time with you, protecting you no matter what and...

>She'd said she couldn't be with you

>She'd said she couldn't, not wouldn't

>And then she'd broken down because there was something she... couldn't...

>Wow, you really are some kind of glorified ape, aren't you?

>So now what do you do?

>She's your bro but... does it just have to stay that way?

>If there's any mare in the entirety of Equestria, wouldn't she be the best? She already cares about you enough that she's not just interested in sex

>She'd go out of her way to deny herself that just because -you- weren't interested

>You couldn't promise her that, not yet anyway but there was one thing you could

>You've cleared up your thoughts in time to alight outside your house

>Dash practically collapses from exhaustion

 

>"Christ, Dash, what were you thinking!"

>You're at her side, her body limp and obviously sore

>"Just... needed... save... home..."

>"You know I'll always be eternally grateful for what you've done, Rainbow. And I mean everything."

>She's smiling despite herself but it fades quickly

>Standing up on shaky legs she turns away

>"Gotta... get going... can't stay here all... evening..."

>Nope, not today baby

>Without a second thought you lift her up and carry her into your house, despite her modest protestations

>The couch is too small for this so you make a beeline for your bedroom

>Plonking her down on the bed she stretches out and then looks up at you, smiling sadly

>"Still gonna tease me, huh, Anon?"

>"Dash, I never meant to..."

>"Save it."

>The smile is gone and her eyes are already starting to water

>"I... I know it can't be, okay? I've made... made my peace with it..."

>"You don't have to."

>"Yes I do! It's just the way... the way things..."

>She breaks down into quiet sobs before she can finish

>Looking down at the sight breaks your heart and you know there's only one way to get through to her

>Leaning down you gently begin to kiss her tears, moving up until her cheeks are dry

>She's staring at you, wide-eyed and motionless

>"Dash, I can't promise if we'll ever share a bed, though I would hope I can see past our differences enough to some day do that, but I can promise that I'll never want any other mare in my life."

>Without a word she throws her forelegs around you and draws you into the tightest embrace you've ever felt

>"You don't have to go back to your house. Not tonight and not any other night you don't want to."