A Moon for Two - Part Four

>Working on plans hadn't succeeded near as well as you'd hoped

>At least a few ideas had been hammered out somewhat but seeing it was getting later and nothing definitive had come you and Dash had said your goodnights and she'd gone to her own quarters

>Sleep didn't come easily for you and when it did it was in fits

>You'd fall asleep, dream of a dark blue pony charging you with outstretched wings and awaken to a cold sweat

>Finally a few hours of sleep had passed but it was still dark. You could only lie there awake, staring at the wall

>Turning to a more comfortable posit-

>Again with the eyes?

>"I apologise if I made you a little uneasy in front of Rainbow Dash, I know you still cling to those silly moral pretenses. I only hope in time you'll be comfortable enough to admit to my little ponies that we've given our hearts to you."

>If you weren't already frozen in fear the white hoof now wending its way over your chest has done it

>"Luna is a wonderful mare and I do love her but... oh, I am jealous. When she asked if she could be your first I couldn't deny her but I find myself growing impatient. May I steal a kiss? To dampen the flames of passion I find myself consumed by?"

>Still frozen in fear, your highness, don't expect a response

>Which she doesn't even wait for, closing her eyes and leaning forward

>Hey at least she's not using her tong- oh god, she is

>Pulling back she gives a light giggle

>"Please be sure not to tell my sister. She might be tempted to... prove a thing or two in front of me!"

>And in a flash of light she's gone

>Your mind simply repeats over and over that Luna isn't here, and you can deal with Celestia when the time comes

>It proves too much, though, and exhausted you allow a deep sleep to finally take you

 

>Waking, you're still too tired to even open your eyes

>Which is fine, really, because you can just enjoy whatever this warm thing pressed against you is

>Oh, it's going to start kissing your chest? Well fucking fine!

>"Mmm, that's nice but could you go a little lower please?"

>As long as it's her you don't mind

>And she does! Goodness, you didn't expect her to be so feisty, never mind into you at all

>Already you feel the first twitchings, hopefully she won't notice or won't care

>You lazily stretch a hand out to stroke her mane - it's the least you can do - but it doesn't feel right

>It feels more... ethereal

>Okay buddy, time to crack these eyelids open

>One... two... three!

>Huh that's... odd. Rainbow Dash doesn't have a sparkling blue mane

>Wait, something is wrong about this. Something is very, -very- wrong

>This doesn't look like Rainbow Dash at all

>You know what, just forget about Rainbow for a second, why would she even do anything like that, she's a pony you sick fuck

>With your bleary mind coming to rights you begin to piece things together

>Okay, we've got a black torc with a white crescent moon, dark blue coat, cyan eyes, a muzzle that's precariously close to OH GOD

>"Good morning, sleepy. We had hoped our attentions might... rouse thee."

>Okay, this is worse than the whole Celestia thing. Orders of magnitude worse

>"Thy chase was most magnificent but has left us spent. We shall take great pleasure in dreaming of thee, however."

 

>She nuzzles in against your neck and closes her eyes

>With any luck that's just... nope, it's definitely her thigh rubbing against you

>"We shall always be thankful thou saved us from our interminable loneliness..."

>And she must be out now right? Of course, goddess of the night so she sleeps through the day

>Except you don't and even if you did you'd still need to get the hell out of here

>Okay, Anon, just stay calm, you can get out of this one

>Maybe Rainbow will show up?

>Waiting a few minutes gives you time to recall she'll most likely sleep through the day too, if you don't wake her yourself

>You try to slide away from Luna, just a little

>"Ahhn! Thy hands... not there... oh alright..."

>Oh fuck, she's just after grabbing you!

>No it's not lost yet, c'mon man remember last night

>You've still got Dash and as long as she's out there, waiting to help you, you can still end this Lunacy

>Luna said she enjoyed the chase, she's now dreaming of you so maybe...

>Just take one of her hooves - GENTLY - and move it down between her

>Yep, there she goes, rolling onto her back and... oh...

>"Thy ministrations... repay you... come join us..."

>As much as you'd love to stick around to enjoy the show you've gotta get up, get dressed and get the hell out of this place

 

>Jesus fuck, where did Celestia say Dash's quarters were?

>She didn't. And Dash hadn't known either

>So it looks like you're just going to have to wander about for a bit and hope you run into her

>"Darling, good morning!"

>What in all the circles of hell is that?

 

>"I thought I said he wasn't our friend anymore!"

>It's way too early for this shit

>"Oh come now, dear, you can't still be upset about the Princess. After all she does seem the sort who's amenable to, ah... a ménage á trois."

>"I don't want him anywhere near her! And I know I told you not to talk about that with anyp0ny else!"

>Rarity flashes you an apologetic grin before turning back to her friend

>Jesus what did you stumble onto even

>"Well as long as you don't mind me being exceedingly near him I'm sure we'll be fine. Speaking of which, did the Princess find you alright?"

>At the mention of that name Twilight looks away suddenly, huffing

>"Uh... yeah, listen what are you doing here?"

>Rarity raises a hoof to her chest, casting her eyes back

>"She didn't tell you? Why darling, it was I who found our dear Princess and assisted her in tracking down her elusive beau. Of course I knew you're the sort of gentleman who'd lead her back to somewhere she would feel most comfortable engaging in her delightful romp."

>Uh... huh

 

>"That still doesn't explain why you came with her."

>Her cheeks flush slightly and while she still holds her hoof aloft she now looks away slightly

>That's never a good sign with her

>"Well when she said she would be open to the idea of sharing... one must be willing to see these practices for how exotic they are. A lady should never be so prudish as to deny herself such pleasures."

>Now you definitely don't have time for this

>"Listen, she's actually sleeping in my bed right now-"

>"Oh you wicked, man! Tiring her out like that!"

>Yes, yes, titter all you like

>"So if you'd like you could go back and join here while I... get... a few... things?"

>She's suddenly right next to you, breathing huskily

>"Oh yes, I should think you might need some... things to make this a more... exciting experience!"

>She turns to Twilight and motions her forward

>"Come along now, dear, I'm sure our beloved Princess would love to try the fabled ménage á quatre!"

>Which leaves her friend spluttering incomprehensibly while you make a quick getaway

 

>In other circumstances - again - it might have been nice to take in the sights of the castle

>As it is you're aimlessly wandering down corridors, hoping you don't bump into any more hungry goddesses

>This whole wing looks like it's living quarters which at least eliminates getting yourself into serious trouble by walking into the wrong room

>It doesn't stop ponies recognising who you are and asking if you'd like to join them

>Jesus fuck what the hell is going on, it's like ever since that first night with Luna things have been steadily getting worse

>Oh here's a guard, he's sure to know where Dash is staying

>"Miss Dash? Sure, two doors down on your left, hot stuff."

>Uh... it's probably best to get going before he starts undressing you with more than just his eyes

>Honestly you can feel them on your back as you briskly walk down to the door in question and knock on it twice

>And wait

>And fucking wait

>What a surprise, she's still asleep

>As gently as you can, you open the door to find the curtains drawn back and light flooding the room

>Well, she does often take naps in trees during the day...

>She's pretty tangled up in the sheets but you hope you can wake her without making it any worse

 

>"Dash? Dash, wake up."

>You gently rock her about but she just snorts and turns herself

>You shake her a little harder and she fumbles with her hooves to push you off

>Right

>Grab the bedclothes and pull them out from under her, sending her rolling off the bed

>"Augh! Buck, what the hay is the big- Anon? What was that for!"

>Yep, there's your bro

 

>"No time for a lecture, Luna's back we've gotta get moving."

>"I'm no use to you on an empty stomach, dude."

>Right, of course, how could you possibly forget Dash's hunger takes priority over all other events in the cosmos

>"We can't stay here, can we at least get out into the city?"

>"Sure, sure but make it quick I'm dyin' here."

>You can't help but to laugh at her theatrics as you make your way out of her room

 

>Getting out of the castle was easy, if a little surreal with all the guards passing wolf whistles and making comments about their wings and horns that made even Dash blush

>At least once you were in the city itself you could get lost in the press of ponies

>You wandered around for some times, Dash making a number of quips about how -this- was the minute she was going to keel over and die

>"C'mon, man, let's just go to Pony Joe's. Best doughnuts in the city, Anon, the best."

>Yes, you seem to recall Twilight mentioning the place a few times

>With that, the two of you are off with Dash barely waiting up for you

 

>The doughnut shop is a smallish affair, though pleasant enough in how homely it feels

>Dash immediately orders a dozen various doughnuts and as much coffee as he has hot

>For yourself you just take two and a cup of coffee and settle into eating them, puzzling out what the hell you're going to do now

>"We could just head back to Ponyville."

>You really wish Dash wouldn't spew quite so many crumbs while offering pointless ideas

>"That's the first place she's going to look."

>"How about Manehatten?"

>"I don't think I can run any more, she's going to find me no matter where I go."

>Dash takes a large bite out of a jam filled doughnut, chews quickly and swallows along with a mouthful of coffee

>"So you're just giving up again?"

>"No chance. You've still got my back, right?"

>She nods solemnly

>"Then we'll just have to find some way to deal with this, head on."

 

>You eat in silence the remainder of the time, hoping to get away from the looks Joe is passing your way

>"Say, you're that human fellah, aren't you?

>"Uh... yeah. Why?"

>He rolls his eyes back, smiling

>"Nothing, really, just that Twilight, you know her?"

>You nod

>"Yeah, she mentioned you the last time she was here but she uh... well she didn't mention what a handsome fellah you are."

>Right! That's it! You have had enough

>Dash splutters as you drag her off from her unfinished doughnuts

>"Let me know if you ever want me to put a hole in your doughnut!"

>Christ, this is not happening. This can't he happening!

 

>Outside the store you drop Dash in front of you and stand back from her

>"Alright, what do you see?"

>She looks you over once and shrugs

>"You?"

>"Okay but do you feel anything?"

>Dash cocks her eyebrows

>Okay, this is starting to sound a little crazy but this whole morning is fucked up so far

>"Should I?"

>No, that's a no then. Good. You can't risk losing Dash to... whatever it is that's going on

>"Dude, c'mon, you're starting to freak me out here."

>"I'm starting to freak myself out a little. Right, I think it's time we got some answers."

>You stride off back in the direction of the castle, a confused Dash hotly following behind

>This shit has gone on long enough, time to take the pony by the horn

 

>"You know I love charging in but don't you think you should give this even a little thought first?"

>You whirl around, eyes only for Dash's own

>"Did you just hear what you said? Sure you don't feel anything?"

>Dash shakes her head lightly and looks to you with a smile

>"Sorry, man, don't know what I was thinkin'. You need help getting answers out of Celestia I'm right with you!"

>Fuckin' A

>Nope, fuck these guards, fuck this shit you cannot deal with it

>You may not know the castle that well but even you know where the great hall is

 

>"... got Rarity involved! Please, Princess you've got to do something!"

>Is that Twilight's voice

>You're just rounding the last corner into the corridor that leads into the great hall

>Goddamn, even the scribes and bureaucrats have started looking up from their scrolls and stopping in their deliveries to gawk at you

>The guards see you coming and throw up their wings, halting you in your path

>Not to mention throwing some bedroom eyes at you

 

>"She is my sister, Twilight, not one of my subjects. I can't just command her to-"

>Yes, you've finally caught her eye

>No, she's flashing that toothy grin again

>"Anon? Thank you guards, you can let him through."

>Yes, you'll just slip on past them and straight into the lion's den, once more

 

>"My beloved human, I'm glad you're here but don't you think it's a little untoward given my sister is in your own bed?"

>The Princess turns and titters to Twilight who simply continues to stare daggers at you

>Alright, no more dancing around this crap, time to just come clean and get it over with

>"Princess, I've gotta-"

>"Get away from Luna! That's the only thing you've got to do! It wasn't enough you had to corrupt her pure, sweet mind you also had to despoil her! How could you-"

>A hoof on her shoulder silences Twilight immediately

>Celestia passes her... not exactly a frown, you might describe it more as a parent looking concerned for their child

>But how and ever you've got bigger things to worry about here

>"Like I was saying, I've gotta know just what the hell is going on here. I feel like I've got half of Canterlot hungering after my untouched ass!"

>In response the white alicorn gives a throaty chuckle

>You're tempted to ask her just what the fuck this is about before you recall she could easily crush you into the size of a dildo and use you as one

 

>"Tell me, are you familiar with the origin of the term 'lunatic'?"

>You have some idea, sure but what does that have to do with anything?

>"I imagine our own use of the term is different from yours. You see, my little ponies once believed the moon could influence their behavior with a full moon being the height of this."

>Okay, that sounds familiar alright

>"Where they're wrong is that it has its basis in fact."

>"But Princess, that's recorded as just an old legend!

>"As much a legend as the prophecy of Nightmare Moon?"

>Twilight turns away, muttering quietly to herself though you can't quite hear what it's about

>"It's not strictly the moon that holds sway but my sister. You see, as the moon waxes and wanes so does her power, to a degree. Mostly it influences her ability to alter our little ponies emotions and thoughts."

>Uh-huh. Why do you have a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach..

 

>"It's not an... entirely conscious process either. If my sister is put under enough stress or otherwise psychologically or emotionally strained enough it will begin to leak out by itself."

>She flashes you that toothy grin again

>"And it's not half of Canterlot, it's much closer to all of Equestria."

>Holy mother of hell-fuck-balls this is officially beyond 'Oh fuck I'm boned' and well into 'TIME TO FIND A WAY TO EJECT MYSELF FROM REALITY'

>"Though since you haven't been seen by most of my little ponies I would wager they're more than a little confused about why they have the sudden urge to bed down with a member of a species they've never even heard of."

>Something about this seems slightly off though

>Applejack, Fluttershy and the others were after you long before this

>"Okay, but Twilight looks pretty-"

>She shoots you a glare

>"-yeah."

>"That I am not sure of though if I was to guess I would imagine the magical fields of the Elements have blunted my sister's influence."

>That... sort of makes sense

>As much as anything can make sense in a magical world of talking ponies. And also after what you've just heard about Luna

>"As fun as it's been having every p0ny around trying to get with him you gotta know some way of stopping this, right?"

>Dash is standing next to you now, she looks up, worry apparent in her eyes

>You shuffle a little closer to her, giving her as much a smile as you can

>"I honestly don't know. It's never actually affected my little ponies to this degree before."

>Well shit

>Again

 

>"Princess? If the Elements have protected us then wouldn't they, combined, have the power to undo Luna's influence."

>Ah, now there's the familiar Celestia you've known up until now

>Beaming down at Twilight her student seems to have forgotten your presence and returns the smile

>"An excellent idea, Twilight! I'm sure if you search the library you'll find the texts you'll need to properly shift the Elements' magic."

>"I'll get right on it!"

>She begins trotting off but pauses to give you the evil eye before resuming her exit

>"And now, my beloved human, I must give you a task. All but two of the Elements are already here. If this is to succeed we will need all six."

>"Which means... I've got to get Applejack and Fluttershy."

>Celestia lets out another of her throaty chuckles

>"Though I'm sure you'll have no problem convincing them to come here."

>Fuck indeed

>You and Dash make a quick exit of the castle after that and head straight for the train station

>Along the way you're seeing just what Celestia was talking about as countless mares and stallions pause to offer their thoughts on what they'd like to do to you

>The guards prove to be of no use except to continue to make lewd gestures with their wings and horns

>This shit can't end soon enough

 

>There's no way she's going to get through to AJ so that's left to you while she gets Fluttershy

>This is putting you in a precarious position but if the plan is to succeed - and by god are you not prepared to suffer in this situation - you're going to have to just find some way through it

>Unfortunately, this being the middle of the day you're not so lucky as to find an empty carriage

>Which means more lecherous stares and a couple of marriage proposals

>You're sitting back with your eyes closed, trying to forget about this for one moment when you hear Dash suddenly start to snigger

>Pushing yourself forward you see she's practically barely holding off peals of laughter

>"What?"

>"Nothing, nothing, it's just... c'mon dude! You've got all of Equestria chasing after you, you're so hot!"

>"I don't see you ripping off my pants."

>Her face flushes suddenly and her wings spring up - but that most likely just so she can cover her face, as she does

>"Uh... dude, remember what she said about the Elements?"

>Right, right that's all. What kind of idiot are you thinking Dash would be interested in you

>Because she's a pony, you sick fuck. Remember that?

>Jesus

 

>Back in Ponyville

>Jesus, this is really starting to get bad. Now you're being leered at by ponies you actually know and like

>The flower triplets, once so scared of the weird new being in town, are practically barreling through other ponies to get to you

>Simply trying to say 'no' doesn't do much good - like a real man you've got to hurt some delicate feelings

>Just as long as no p0nies as large as Macintosh show up you should be fine

>"Listen, Dash, you're gonna have to go get Fluttershy and make sure to take her back by flight! I don't think AJ'll want to spend the trip back in a small carriage with you!"

>"You got it!"

>With that she's off towards Whitetail Woods and Fluttershy's cottage. You can only imagine the kind of lie she's going to spin to get her along

>No, scratch that, you really -don't- want to imagine that

 

>Once you've made your way through the centre of Ponyville it's not so bad

>The crowds begin to thin out but a few stragglers hold on to the belt of your trousers, desperately trying to pull them down

>Yes, you're coming up to Sweet Apple Acres now, you can already see the orchards

>Macintosh is out front working the plough as you might expect, he should know which part of the farm AJ is in

>Before you even approach he stops and watches you

>Right, surely he knows why you're here

>"'Ey pard', 'fraid I worked up a powerful sweat but I'm sure I can do the same to ya."

 

>Oh fuck no. Not Big Brokintosh

>"Heh, yeah, listen I need to see AJ real quick..."

>"Yer not thinkin' of gettin' her involved are ya?"

>He gives you a look somewhere between disgust and interest

>Okay, now you have even more reason to undo this craptacular fuckheap

>"Up to you buddy but why don't you get the shower in the uh... barn ready and I'll... give you a... rubdown..."

>"Pard'? I'd love nothin' better."

>"And AJ?"

>"Huh? Oh she's just in the Golden Delicious section, off to yer right down there."

>Leaving a Macintosh who's swaying his hips way, way too much you take off to find AJ

>It's something of a maze, despite the work you've done on the farm. You'd never really tried to memorise the various sectioned parts of the massive orchard

>Past just a couple of trees more... yep, there she is

>Wow she can really buck those trees

>She stops suddenly, though, seeing you

>"Well lookee what's just gone and fallen right into my lap!"

>"AJ, listen, we need to have a talk."