Title:           A medieval cunt goes and helps rgre Sombra who isn't evil
Author:          LeafyIsACrusader
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/StfRjTg5
First Edit:      Saturday 22nd of October 2016 01:22:35 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 23rd of October 2016 02:22:01 PM CDT

>Opening your eyes, you see a beautiful forest backed by a foreboding mountain
>Was the crusade but a dream?
>No, you feel the familiar steel of your great helm, and the warmth of your cloak and mail
>Looking down, you see your boots covered in blood and sand, proof you were liberating Jerusalem from the filthy infidels
>So why are you now in a forest, near a mountain?
>Taking in your surroundings, all you see are trees
>As such, you decide to head towards the mountain
>You'll probably find a stream or a village nearby
>Taking your time, you begin to feel evil eyes upon you
>It's still midday, so perhaps it was just a wolf hunting a rabbit
>But still, you ready your shield and brandish your sword
>Thank the good lord it was just an animal
>It'll be easy to kill, and you'll soon have dinner
>The creature jumped out, and immediately you knew it was no wolf
>Covered in scales of wood, with unholy emerald eyes
>This was a demon that shall soon know God
>However, another came out and then another until you had a whole pack of these monsters
>They soon encircled you, preparing to pounce
>One lunged at your throat, but you promptly cut it down with one fell swoop
>With each kill, your sword became drenched in resin, dulling the blade
>Eventually, it could cut no longer
>With no other way to defend yourself, you began to run towards the mountain
>Perhaps they would grow bored, or find an easier target
>Looking back, you saw the wood dogs were still chasing you
>Nearing the mountain, you would soon be cornered
>You thought of your family
>Then you remembered they died of gout
>Oh well, it looks like this is the end
>Suddenly, a bolt of energy hit the monster as a strange creature rushed forward with a sword
>It looked like a dog, but with a glowing horn upon its head
>Not to be one-upped by a pet, you held your sword by the blade and joined in the fight
>Smashing in heads with the cross-guard was effective, but your gloves were getting wet
>It felt like you shoved your hand in a horses anus
>You try to forget that terrible night
>Soon, those creatures were gone, leaving only that...
>Dog? Not really, it had hooves and was decently sized
>It wasn’t a horse either, as it barely reached your knees
>You suppose baby puppy horse would be a good description
>Consumed by thought, you didn’t realize that the baby puppy horse started to whinny
>At first you thought it was making noise for food, but soon you recognized a few words
>...you?...Sombra!....what…...I’ll...graduated...TOP…raids….300...gorilla…
>Eventually it began pointing towards the mountain with its horn
>With no other choice, you began to follow it
>Was it a pet? Maybe it was a guard animal
>Still, you now have a path to walk upon
>Soon, the forest rolls into a beautiful plain, with a citadel in the middle
>How the humans here built such a tower is beyond you
>There’s civilization here, so perhaps you could get a drink
>After that rumble with those demons, ale would be wonderful
>Eventually, (You) approached the gate
>There were two enormous crystals with tree in between
>You could see a town not far away
>However, concern began to arise when you saw the size of the houses
>They looked half the size of a hut
>Even your hut in Constantinople was bigger
>Were they dwarves or just really short?
>Not to mention they were shiny, like gems
>You then saw that they didn't seem to have any churches
>It seems that this city didn't know god
>Timetoconvertsomefilthynon-believers.parchment
>You take this moment to open your burlap bag and search for the holy book
>Bible, along with bag of gold and dagger were present and accounted for
>Now that you were sure you had everything to convert these heathens, you continued on
>When you arrived, you noticed that this place was a lot more empty than you expected
>Even if a plague ravaged it's way through here, for a city this size it was unnerving
>It was if the citizens were hiding from something
>Suddenly, a small squeak was heard from your far left
>Had a child been lost?
>Running towards the sound, you arrive in an alleyway
>It was one of those adorable pony-dog things
>Except it was the epitome of small and harmless
>It seemed to have fell and scraped its paw-hoof
>Taking into the open, you find two relatively clean pieces of cloth in your bag
>With one, you clean up the blood and wrap the other around it like a bandage
>It was still crying however, ad you didn't know where its parents were
>You didn't know a lullaby to hum, so you just gave it cuddles
>It was a bit colder and harder than normal animals, but it still had feelings
>Only now did you notice the garish colors of everything
>The houses and the creature were all colors you'd only see on church windows
>Finally, the other pony-dog arrived
>It brought friends, those of which weren't as large as it
>They were a beautiful purple, with crystal spears
>Turning to look at him, a swift blow was struck to your back
>Suddenly, two blows were struck against your head, knocking you out cold
>Before everything faded to darkness, you saw a pony rushing towards the little one you had been caring for
>It seemed as if those heathens had trapped you with the child as living bait
>Your sense of chivalry was having an aneurysm
>Finally, you closed your eyes for good
 
End Chapter 1