- >be Jared
- >be 7
- >have to take a shit
- >actually diarrhea
- >everyone in the house has occupied all the bathrooms
- >go outside
- >take shit in a corner
- >no toilet paper, use leaves to wipe my ass
- >have to stick leaves a little bit 'up in there' to really get the shit out
- >halfway through wiping, starts to feel itchy
- >realize leaves are poison ivy
- >run inside
- >tell mommy about my problem
- >tells me to bend over
- >stretch out my asshole
- >its all red and partially swollen on the inside
- >feels like fire
- >still have diarrhea
- >while she's inspecting, I fart
- >piece of shit flys into her mouth, pretty much in her throat
- >she throws up, and runs to the sink
- >still standing there bent over
- >brothers were watching this whole time
- >eventually run into bathroom and go in the tub
- >feels good, but still have diarrhea
- >sit on toilet, start shitting even though it's burning
- >realize that some of the shit is coming out in hard chunks
- >really, really bad smell
- >have to keep one hand on my nose while the other is pulling out chunks from my asshole
- >1 hand isn't enough, so I open the window and start taking out chunks with both hands
- >brother is outside, smells the air and says "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?!"
- >he stands next to the window and listens to me shitting
- >finally get back in bathtub
- >realize water is pitch black
- >dry off and just go and lay down in my bed
- >replay the events for at least 2 hours before falling asleep
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