Peter Pott's and the Problematic Plundering of a Pyramid

Peter Potts and the Problematic Plundering of a Pyramid

 

 

So here I am, being dragged butt naked through a dimly lit hallway by this... creature. I can't say this wasn't entirely my fault; after all, I should have been more attentive and careful, not to mention expect the obvious to happen. I suppose I should start from the beginning, as you're all probably wondering who I am and how I got myself into this situation. It all started about two days ago...

 

I'm Peter Potts, prince of plundering, lord of looting, duke of despoiling, and so on and so forth. Ever since I was a young lad, I've always had a knack for acquiring the possession of things that aren't mine. I remember my first successful pickpocketting, my first lock picked, and even the first heart I stole from a beautiful young lass at the age of six. I could ramble on about myself for decades, but that's not the point of this story, now is it?

 

It was a bright and sunny day on the edge of the desert. I was in an oasis preparing myself for my next big cash-in. My latest "repossession mission" was to take place in a pyramid roughly twenty-five miles from here. A little birdie told me that a secret tomb of sorts was recently discovered in this previously thought-to-be-empty pyramid. Rumor had it a grand pharaoh of sorts was buried there. Of course we all know that dead guy in wrappings equals loads of loot near by, so of course I couldn't resist. To celebrate the occasion, I even brought two of my friends along, Frank and Mike. We'd been best 'buds since our childhood; always stealing together as an amusing band of thieves. I remember Mike nearly being flattened by a runaway boulder while we were stealing a chest full of gold back in the Amazon. Mike wasn't too pleased when Frank and I seemed more eager to ditch him rather than ditch the gold, but since when was there honor among thieves anyway? We had no hard feelings for eachother, even though we may have ditched eachother in some sticky situations before.

 

Anywho, it was roughly 8 A.M. by the time we were finally prepared to set out. By horseback, we'd probably be able to reach the pyramid and set up camp by late day or dusk if all went well. With a quick payment to our lovely innkeeper, and with excessive ambition, we set out. By noon, we could tell we were easily a third of the way there, give or take a mile. Mike noted there was nothing but sand as far as the eye can see, which did seem strange actually. You'd think that a massive pyramid would be easily visible from about fifteen miles away. Then again, sand was being kicked up quite a bit since 11, so our visibility was reduced by a fair amount. Just as I had been thinking about sand and visibility, we could see a rather nasty looking sand storm coming from the way we were heading.

 

"Great", said Frank, "this is definitely going to cause an unwanted delay". "If this doesn't end quickly, we'll be lucky if we even make it to the pyramid by nightfall", Mike added. Instead of getting airborne sandpaper thrown at our eyes, we decided it would be far more intelligent to set up some coverage and wait it out. We quickly spotted a rather large and stable looking dune about 50 yards out, and headed over to set up a camp of sorts. Setting up cover was simple enough, and we were all safe and sound within 15 minutes.

 

An hour rolled by while we told tales of our previous adventures, when Mike suddenly jumped to his feet with a startled look on his face. "What the hell is it?" Frank asked. "Call me crazy, but I could have sworn I heard something shuffling around outside." Mike said nervously. Sure, Mike was always easy to spook, but he was seldom wrong about people sneaking up on him. I decided to get up and poke my head out of our rather flat tent. "Oh stop being such a worrywart, there's nothing ou-", and right there, I was greeted to the lovely surprise of two large, menacing (and did I mention venomous?) tails of what I presumed were a pack of marauding scorpion-girls.

 

...What? Did I forget to mention the monsters? By that shocked look on your face, I would have thought you'd lived your life as a hermit or something. Since you seem to have been living under a rock for your entire life, allow me to explain: we have plenty of these "monster girls", as some call them, living outside of human settlements. Most are dumb as a pile of rocks, but some have rather sharp wits and cunning minds. They typically raid human villages and the like for supplies and men. Last I checked, I've yet to ever see a male monster, so I'd presume the ugly creatures do their reproducing with the males they capture. I may not be one of those baptized religious nuts who despise the monsters, but I still wouldn't want to be caught by them. After all, it would ruin my rather wealthy and adventurous life; plus I've heard countless stories of how these monstrosities eat people after they've been used.

 

Now that you've been filled in, I'll be getting back to the story. So there I am, poisonous tails waving dangerously close to my face. Much to my relief, Mike and Frank had already drawn their weapons to repel the nasty beings. Frank and Mike were no professional fencers, but they knew how to weild a blade or two. Both of them ran to my side with weapons pointed towards our unfriendly visitors, which prompted a loud hiss from them. A few quick swings (get back you fiends!), and they surprisingly backed up. Curiously enough, they didn't seem particularly interested in putting up a fight, and they made for a quick retreat after that rather short scuffle. Frank had noted their fighting was rather sloppy, and they presumably hoped to get the jump on us without a fight. "Thanks" I said, "I'm grateful I have you two around. After all, you guys aren't nearly as ugly as those creepy crawlies are" I joked. After that bothersome event, We decided it would be smarter take turns keeping watch just in case they decided to come back.

 

After about an hour or so, the sandstorm finally let up. It was about 5 P.M. by now, and it was beginning to get dark. We quickly packed our belongings up and headed out. "Hey, I think I see something over there!" I exclaimed. Frank and Mike must have seen it too. It was the distinctive point of a pyramid! We were finally getting to our destination, and that meant we were that much closer to acquiring a hoard of gold and other riches. By sundown, we had finally made it to the entrance of the pyramid. I must say, this thing was huge! It was easily 400 feet tall, and spanned an incredible distance at its base.

 

It wasn't hard to find the entrance, given that this pyramid was already known about. As expected, the interior was stripped bare by any previous looters. "According to my info, we should be looking for a small room towards the back" I said. Sure enough, the rear of the pyramid had a small and quite plain room. Nothing of particular interest was in here, at least to the naked eye. "Big deal, it's basically a closet" Frank grumbled. "Quit complaining and give the guy a moment" Mike responded. I checked one of the walls like my info said, and noticed a couple of the stones in the wall seemed a tad recessed. For lo and behold, pushing them in resulted in the floor giving a low rumbling sound, followed a set of stairs appearing. "See, what'd I tell you? I can practically smell the loot!" I yelled as I went for the stairs.

 

The stairs led to a narrow hallway that had no lighting. As we lit a couple of torches for light, I noticed something that seemed rather odd. "That's strange, this hallway is freakishly clean for being previously undiscovered" I thought to myself. Upon further inspection, the walls were in pristine condition, and the floors look like they were cleaned yesterday. I chalked it up as being so clean due to never being walked in before. Of course everything can't go perfectly, and our fun ended by seeing that the narrow corridor branched off in multiple directions. "Hey, we should split up to cover more ground." Frank suggested. "Are you nuts? That's how you get killed in every adventure story I've read" Mike snapped. "Yeah, I'd say it's safer to stay together" I added. Frank ended the conversation with, "Fine, have it your way. Don't whine to me when this takes twice as long".

 

After our moment of debate, we decided we should go with a hall on the left. Like I said earlier, we were no amateurs in this field of business, so it was no surprise when we saw a raised floor tile and some circular holes in the wall. "I'd wager that panel activates spikes or something of the sort" I said. "No shit, smartass" Frank quickly replied. We continued walking down the hall, which was littered with these raised tiles by the way, until we came to a room. Inside the room were dozens of shelves with pots on them. After checking the room for any traps, Mike went over to one of the shelves and carefully opened a pot. "Great news guys. If we came here for mummified food, we've hit the jackpot" he said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice. He was right; all the pots seemed to have various foods and drinks sealed in them. "Maybe our we'll have better luck with another hall" Frank sighed. This place just kept getting stranger and stranger. All the food in these pots looked fresh and absolutely pristine. It literally looked like someone had just finished their grocery shopping. I pointed this out to both of them, and Mike said it was probably some special preservation method. Oh well, at least if we need more supplies, we know where to get them. With that last note, we left the room.

 

After carefully stepping over all those suspicious tiles, we made our way back to the central hub in the hallways. This time Frank picked a route. Again, the floor had raised tiles, but this time, the hall was practically littered with them. At the end of the hallway was an incredibly large door with some sort of writing on it. I'd guess it was some sort of ancient writing, as none of us could even read it. "Huh, that's funny, the door isn't even locked" I said. Any further thoughts were quickly shoved out of our minds after seeing the contents of the room.

 

"GODS ALMIGHTY LOOK AT ALL THE GOLD AND JEWELS!" Frank and Mike cried. They were right, the room was stacked to the ceiling with riches! At the very center of the room was the biggest ruby you've ever seen. It was a lustrously deep red, with a brilliant shine. "That thing must be the size of a grapefruit!" I shouted. Mike was about to run over to a pile of gold the ruby was sitting on when Frank grabbed him by the shoulder. "Not so fast, Mike, I'd bet my left nut that the stuff in this room is rigged with some sort of trap." Frank warned. After carefully inspecting the room, we noticed two things: 1.) the room seemingly had no traps, and 2.) there was a rather large sarcophagus. I decided I'd check the contents of the sarcophagus later. After all, gold and jewels are far more valuable to us than a dead guy wrapped in cloth. After a quick planning with Frank and Mike, we decided it would be smart to carefully remove the treasure bit by bit, and safely transport it to our camp outside the pyramid.

 

We went over to a pile of gold and carefully, ever so slowly, picked up a handful of it. "Hah, I told you! It's safe as long as we avoid the traps outside." Frank said. We were like a bunch of kids in a candy store, eagerly grabbing all the gold and greedily stuffing it into anything we could. We filled our packs, pockets, and anything else we could stuff valuables in, when I turned to the ruby. "May as well grab that shiny ruby" I thought. Taking it into my hands, we were about to exit the room when we heard a loud creak come from behind us, followed by a thunderous voice. "How DARE you steal from the master?!" it yelled. "Oh shit, we better get running!" I said. We quickly ran through the hallway with our hearts pounding in our chests, hopping over the suspicious tiles like a game of hopscotch. It must have been the weight of my pack or something, but my gait was definitely out of balance, which resulted in me falling flat on my face.

 

I somehow managed not to set any traps off, but that massive ruby had rolled about three feet ahead of me, along with some of the gold spilling out of my pack. "Guys, help me!" I cried, as I tried to get to my feet while the weight of the gold on my back pinned me down. Mike spun around to face me, then he saw the ruby on the floor. After what felt like ages, he finally said "Sorry Pete, like you said, no honor among thieves. I'd say this is some karmatic justice for back in the Amazon huh?". He grabbed the ruby and left me for dead. I can't say I didn't expect this, but I was pissed regardless. "Fuck you Mike!" I snarled at him as he quickly left me behind. Just as I was on my knees, I heard some particularly heavy footsteps approaching behind me at a rapid pace. My fear quickly turned to dread, as before I was able to turn around I felt a giant claw wrench my shoulder with incredible strength. Just as when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a loud CRACK sounded as something hit me in the back of the head. As I fell to the floor, I could see a large, black figure with massive appendages standing over me. It must have been some crazy cultist in armor or something. At this point my consciousness fell out of my grasp, and my vision went dark.

 

(Writer's note: if you could deal with this junk for this long, I'd like to congratulate you. I have a tendency for going into useless detail far too much and taking far too long to set up a story, and I'd like to apologize for that. Anyway, on with the story.)

 

I awoke some time later to the throbbing pain of my head. "Gods be damned, my head!" I moaned. I couldn't see a thing, so it was either really dark, or I was blindfolded. It also seemed my arms and legs were chained to a wall or something, as I couldn't move or reach my head."What the hell happened?" I said, thinking out loud. While wondering what was going on, I suddenly felt a chain yank me by the neck, which brought my face close to something that was puffing out hot, moist air. "Be quiet, thief!" a voice barked back at me. "Thief? I think you're mistaken. I'm a historian! All I wanted was to represent this spectacular pyramid in the finest museums!" I said nervously. "Is that why your cohorts abandoned you, thief? Any more slander out of you and I'll have that tongue of yours cut out!" the voice replied. With that threat and my current position, being quiet was probably the best idea right about now.  I tried to listen to what was going on; I could hear some shuffling and walking, along with things being moved around. After a minute or so of this, I felt a large paw-like hand feeling around my clothes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I yelled. "Silence, human!" the voice barked back. "Human?" I thought, and that's when it hit me: any regular person wouldn't have called someone "human", nor would they be living out here in a damned pyramid. I shivered at the obvious conclusion my mind came to: I've been captured by one of those accursed monsters! I'm probably going to be eaten, or tortured, or worse!

 

My thoughts must have shown (or have been misunderstood), as the voice told me in a rather seductive tone, "What's this? Shivering and sweating? I'm not doing anything other than searching you to reclaim the master's riches... at least for now...". I definitely didn't like how that last sentence trailed off like that. The creature then began digging through all my pockets and pack rather diligently, scooping out all of the gold and jewels I had stuffed into them. This went on for a couple of minutes, when we both seem to have frozen up. A cold chill went down my spine when I felt one of the monster's hands grip my penis through my pants' pocket. I stood as still as a stone, while the hand kept its grip firm. "Iiiinteresting..." the voice said, "I suppose it was a fair trade: some of my master's treasures for *yours*". The emphasis on that last part was incredibly concerning, and concern turned to fear as I felt both hands leave my pockets and go for my waist to undo my belt. "Hey, hang on a second! We can work something out!" I panicked. "I've got plenty of gold to replace what my friends took! If you just let me go, I can--", my words were cut short by a finger going over my mouth.

 

"Hrm, I have no use for your worthless filth, human.", the monster replied, "To be truthful, that room had only a fraction of my master's wealth in it. The lower floors have mountains more. That room was a trap of sorts to capture fools like you. After all, it is rather difficult to spread rumors to lure in would-be thieves like yourself to this place". I could have admonished myself for being a fool and not validating my information before setting out, but now wasn't the time for that. The monster paused with an awkward silence for a moment, then continued, "Besides, I also have my personal interest in capturing you. It has been a *loooong* time since I was last satisfied, you know". "Over my dead body!" I growled back. There is absolutely no way I would ever stoop to such foul activities. Besides, I've heard countless tales of horrible diseases that you can get from such horrible deeds.

 

The monster let out a laugh, then replied, "You think you have a choice? You are my prisoner after all, thief. Regardless, I have methods of making you cooperate, even if you are adamant". I felt my shirt lift up, then a finger pressed to my chest. Suddenly, a bizarre feeling coursed through my entire body. It felt like the static tingling of sitting on your own leg, except throughout my entire body and multiplied by ten. My sensitivity heightened to an incredible level too. I could feel every strand of fabric on my body, and even how they were poking into my skin. While I was trying to figure out what was going on, the monster ran one of its nails slowly down my chest. The feeling was horrifying. I felt like I was being dug into by a burning knife. My body instinctively reeled backwards while I screamed in agony. "STOP, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME" I yelled as loud as I could. "Be at ease, human, all I have done is rub one of my nails across your skin. I haven't even broken your skin." the monster replied to my wails. It then removed its nail from my chest, and the tingling and intense sensitivity vanished. I slumped over and let the chains hold me up while I heaved and gasped for breath. Unfortunately, my short period of rest was interrupted.

 

"...As I was saying, I have very convincing methods to get you to cooperate. If you thought that was a overwhelming, I could always give you a slap, or possibly more..." the voice said, with a dangerous and somehow suggestive tone. I reluctantly agreed to cooperate: "Fine! As long as you promise not to kill me.". "Kill you? Human, you need to be alive for the tasks I need you for. You won't be able to do the 'work' I require of you if you were dead. Now do as I say, and everything will go smoothly." the voice assured me. "To start, we will be removing your clothes and transporting you to a more... suitable room". As much as I'd love to resist and put up a fight, I definitely didn't want to have to endure that horrid feeling from before. I felt my hands and feet become unlatched from the braces they were in, along with my neck being released. Any thought of running was removed from my mind when I instantly reached for my head, only to find that the "blindfold" was some sort of device locked onto the upper portion of my head like a mask of sorts. Running blind straight into a wall or a trap wouldn't be productive, so I had no purpose to run.

 

My various thoughts and plans of escape were tossed aside when the voice told me "Strip. Now." in a very stern and commanding tone. I reluctantly removed all the clothing from my upper body, then proceeded to undo my belt. As my pants fell to the floor, I could hear a distinctive gasp, followed by the deepest silence you've ever heard. What seemed like hours rolled by until the monster said in a lecherous tone, "It seems I got more than I bargained for... Now come here, put your hand on my shoulder, and I will guide you". I stumbled around a bit with my arms stretched out, and then proceeded to walk forwards slowly towards the voice. Just as I neared the voice, I felt around for its shoulder. It took me a few attempts to finally find its shoulder, but it felt curiously human; not that I have any experience with touching these things. After fumbling around and failing to find its shoulder, the monster said, "I'll do it myself, since you seem incapable of doing so. Now, we'll be on our way". The monster reached for my hand and grasped it. It wasn't the strong vicegrip from before when I was caught, but rather, it was a gentle hold. The hand was also considerably larger than mine and covered in hair or fur, which was incredibly soft at that. The soft grip gently guided my hand to a distinctly human feeling shoulder, which I then gripped to somewhat firmly.

 

I felt the monster begin moving, and I simply held on to its shoulder and walked along side it. I could feel us going through a doorway, when the monster told me "wait a moment". I could hear it doing something, following by a series of loud clanking and rumbling noises. "What was that?" I asked. "I am disarming all the traps and opening the stairs to the lower level". So there I was, being guided through halls, blind, naked, fearful, and thoroughly confused. It felt like I had walked at least a mile before we made it to our destination, where ever that was.

 

I felt a doorway brush past my shoulder, when the monster told me to stay still. It left my side, and I heard what sounded like a large door sealing behind me. "Great" I thought, "I'm probably in a prison cell. I guess it was only a matter of time until some authority locked me up for my antics". My thoughts were interrupted when the monster guided me to a bench or something to sit upon. With a calm yet stern tone, the monster spoke to me,

 

"Now, before I remove the mask from your head, we will be going over some rules. You will obey all commands I issue to you. If you attempt to escape, you will be restrained and punished accordingly. Any attempt at escaping this labyrinth would be foolish to begin with; you will be hunted, and you will be caught. Finally, if you attempt to bring any harm to me or your surroundings, you will be *gravely* punished. Understand?"

 

Cue distinctive "gulp" sound. A moment later, I responded with "Fine" reluctantly. "Good, than we shall begin", and with that, the mask made a loud click and felt it release from the back of my head. Obviously the first thing to come to mind was to remove it from my head, which I did in a flash. I must have had that thing on my face for a while, as it took a few moments for my eyes to adjust. As things came into focus, I was greeted to a few quite shocking things that took me aback: 1.) I wasn't in a prison cell, I was in a bedroom sitting on a bed. 2.) My warden wasn't some hideous beast, but actually rather attractive, as much as I'd hate to admit. She must has been some sort of jackal-like beast. She had mostly human features, aside from large paw appendages and a bushy tail that were covered in a jet black fur. Her body itself was in perfect form: absolutely fit and without any wrinkles or fat. Her skin was a deep chocolate tanned color, as if she'd been out in the sun on a daily basis. And her face, good gods her face! It had the look of royalty. Perfectly formed and without a flaw. Her hair was long, straight, and a lustrous black, with two pointed ears atop her head in matching color. Her outfit was something out of a museum too. It had an ancient air to it, with a short top that looked similar to a swimsuit, while the bottom was a pair of very small pants with a long loincloth of sorts.

 

I must have been staring for a while, because she finally put on a lecherous grin and said, "Oh? Do you like what you see, thief? Perhaps it will be easier to convince you than I expected". That last part snapped me out of my trance, "...What exactly do you want from me? You have my clothes and all your gold back, and you even got to hit me with a stick already. What more could I possibly give you?". I already could guess where this was going, but asking didn't seem like it could make things worse. Must to my surprise (not), the response to my question was, "Just lie down and let me do my work, thief."

 

At this point, she removed her top and dropped her pants, to which my jaw dropped. Thanks to the wonders of not wearing pants, my lower appendage was in plain sight when it stiffened up. "Dammit, go down, you're not supposed to like this!" I mentally yelled. "Nope it's boner time!". "Oohh, It's bigger than I expected..." she said as she approached the bed ever so slowly with a swing in her hip, and knelt down near the edge. I winced at the incoming pain of her touching me again, but much to my surprise, it wasn't horribly painful this time. Her touch felt alluringly soft and inviting, and instantly released the tension from my muscles. "See? If you cooperate, you will be rewarded" she said reassuringly. She began pumping up and down at varied paces. Let me tell you, I've been around the block with enough girls to know when they have talent, and despite being a monster, she was a pro at this. A couple minutes later, she began picking up the pace, by which time I was nearing my limits. Right before I was going to bust a nut, she asked with an incredible amount of lust "Nearly there?". All I could do was nod, and as soon as I did, she clamped down on my dick with her mouth and began sucking with incredible force. That finally set me off the edge, and I blew what I can only describe was the most satisfying load in my recent history. Normally I would have expected a girl to put on a disgusted face and spit my stuff out in a rag, but nothing has been going as expected so far. Instead, she not only swallowed it, but did so in such a manner that you'd think she was greedily inhaling water after dying of thirst in the desert. She finished up shortly after, and gave me a look at had enough heat in it to cook me in five seconds, saying "It's my turn now, thief".

 

She stood up and got on the bed, then proceeded to stroke my member to the consistency of granite (which didn't take long, mind you). I'd usually have to eat a girl out to get her ready for this, but that was seemingly not necessary. She was already wet like a raging waterfall, and she was getting straight into the action. "Prepare yourself. You are about to experience what many crave for, but few get", and with that, dropped down on my member. She let out a loud moan, and after a moment of catching her breath, began moving. Damn, she was tight! She was practically a vicegrip on me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was a virgin, but that couldn't be; after all, she handled everything flawlessly. Before long, she started to have a bit of a spasming in her movements, coupled with some panting and whining sounds. She then hilted me completely in her and let out a loud whine. She definitely just had an orgasm, judging by how she suddenly tightened up. Just as I was reaching my limits, she just completely stopped and got off of me. "What the hell?! Why'd you stop?!" I yelled. "Hm? I'm satisfied for now. Besides, I thought you said you wouldn't do such things 'over your dead body', correct?", she said with an evil grin on her face. "Forget what I said! Just don't leave me like this!". "As you wish, thief", and with that, pushed one of her nails to me. This time, though, it wasn't an uncomfortable feel, but instead, was an intense heat and feeling of pleasure. She suddenly continued with a brutal pace, followed by me yelling "YESSSSS" at the top of my lungs. It only took a few more pumps before I practically jizzed my brains out. I didn't care what I was doing, nor did I care I blew it all while still in her; nothing matted right now except pumping out load after load, sending ridiculous amounts of pleasure into me. I finally began slowing down, slumping down into an exhausted mess. I immediately felt a heavy haze overcome me, and began drifting to sleep. The last thing I remember seeing was her on top of me, looking at me with the biggest grin I've ever seen. Ah, this bed felt so nice, no harm in sleeping here anyway...

 

I was (somewhat) awoken by something prodding at me. "Wake up already, you lazy thief!" faintly rung in my ears. I simply rolled over and continued sleeping. Moments later I was greeted with a slap that felt like molten iron, which got the expected response of "GAH WHAT THE FUCK" out of me. I instantly sat up in bed, still semi-groggy from my sleep. "You overslept, and we are now off schedule". "...What schedule?". "Your living schedule, now hurry up". At this point I was literally dragged out of bed and into the hallway at a quick pace. And thus here I am, being dragged butt naked through a hallway by this girl, if I can even call her that. It was only a quick walk until we arrived at what I presume was a bathroom. I say "presume" since the place was big enough to be a spa; it even had a massive circular tub. Speaking of the tub, that was seemingly our destination, as evidenced by her motioning towards it and saying "Get in". The water was pleasant enough after a quick test, so I hopped in and sat down. I went to grab what I presume was soap, only to have it snatched away from me by the monster. "How am I going to wash myself if you won't give me the soap?" "I'll be washing you, thief. Judging by your hideous odor and unkempt hair, you clearly have no idea of how to take care of yourself properly". Awesome, so not only am I being held against my will, but I can't even wipe my own ass without approval. In case you weren't aware, getting scrubbed with what felt like a rock tied to a stick was not an enjoyable experience. Throughout my little episode, I noticed she had a smile of sorts on her face when I glanced at her occasionally. Funny, maybe she's been out here alone for so long that she enjoys any sort of company. As soon as she noticed me looking though, she went back to her stern, commanding glare. After being rubbed with soap and sandpaper, and then thoroughly dried, I must say I felt considerably cleaner than before.

 

I was given some new clothes to wear (finally I'm not naked!), but they weren't my previous clothes. Instead of my typical pants and shirt, these clothes were far more robe-like and loose fitting. At least they felt nice; they must have been made out of some fancy cotton or silk. As much as I'd like to describe clothes to you, it seems I was being dragged out of the bathroom and into the hallway yet again. "So where are we going now?" I inquired. "First you are going to eat breakfast, and then we will begin your chores and other routines" was the response. I was hungry from all my earlier stressing activities, so eating didn't sound like a bad idea. Then again, it suddenly did sound like a bad idea once we reached the "kitchen". It turns out the "kitchen" was that room with all the pots that we were digging through previously. Instead of your typical eggs, meat, or so on, I was greeted by the sight of ... something... on my plate. It was gray with a few colored specks in it, along with being the consistency of paste with some chunks of mystery in it. Not to mention, it didn't smell entirely pleasant. I sat there for a good minute or so poking it and trying to identify exactly what it was, but to no avail. Instead of risking being poisoned and continuing my scientific research, I decided I may as well ask what it was. "It's food". Well, that was a brilliant response. "No offense, but it doesn't look or smell like food, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to eat it." I finally said. Saying that was a probably bad idea, given that she looked definitely annoyed now:

 

"Do you not remember your position here? You are going to eat, as you will need all the energy you can get for the day. I'm surprised you're an adult; you act like a child: you're spoiled, you can't bathe yourself, you cry about the simplest of things. I have never seen such an ill-mannered person in my entire life! Blah blah blah...."

 

Gods have mercy upon me, she's worse than my mother was! All those years of lectures from my mother instinctually made me tune out her rant, which in hindsight, was a terrible idea. I must have dozed off while she was still giving her speech, when I was greeted by a slap to the face, along with "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! Enough! We do not have time for your ridiculous behavior!". I then felt her grip down on the top of my head with crushing strength, along with having a spoon of the mystery goo shoved into my mouth. It wasn't the worst thing I have tasted in my life, but it was definitely something I'd rather not be eating. Unfortunately for me, she was practically shoveling the stuff into my mouth at this point, and given that I didn't want to end up pissing her off to the point of getting myself chained up again, I just swallowed the unpleasant paste and dealt with it. Thank the gods there wasn't too much of that accursed paste to eat, as I finally finished the last bit of it a few minutes later.

 

Yet again, I was being dragged along to another location. This room was rather odd. It was somewhat large, with a few mirrors and arches in it that looked like doorframes. Upon further inspection, the mirrors seemed to be showing other locations, instead of reflections. I'd be more shocked about magic or whatever it was, but the religious nutcases had given lectures how certain monsters have access to witchcraft and the like. I'm pretty sure they also mentioned you shouldn't go anywhere near the stuff for unnamed reasons. I, of course, asked the obvious question: "So what's this room for?". "It's an observation and transportation room. How else did you expect me to watch the exterior of my master's tomb and to get supplies?". You know, I've heard her say "master" quite a few times now. "So who is this 'master' you keep referring to anyway?". "Save your questions for the allotted speaking time later today. We have work to do". Well that was awfully polite of her; then again, I hadn't been the nicest guest so far, so I guess I shouldn't expect much. She grabbed a couple of robes and clothes from a nearby rack, then grabbed my hand. "Hold still, this will only feel strange for a moment", she said. With that, it seems she touched one of the mirrors and with a flash of light, we were outside of some town. "...Wait a minute" I thought "this is the oasis I was in yesterday! Maybe Frank and Mike are still around and can get me out of this mess!". She must have read my thoughts, given that I got yet another lecture:

 

"As I said before, any attempt at escaping will fail and will result in punishment. To prevent such thoughts, you will have your arm around mine at all times, and any inquiry to our relationship will be stated that I am your wife. I will be doing all the talking, so keep quiet unless I specifically ask you to speak. Furthermore, you will behave yourself throughout this trip. You will also be carrying the items I purchase. Understood?"

 

"Yeah yeah, I get the idea" I grumbled. With that, she put on one of the robes she grabbed earlier, and put one on me. These robes were practically rags, compared to the other clothing she had. They were also fairly large and had a hood of sorts, which practically concealed the shape of the wearer. I guess that makes sense, given she couldn't walk around in a human settlement in her usual outfit. As for me, I'm guessing I had to wear it to avoid being recognized by Frank and Mike, if they were even still around.

 

Man, this is turning out to be a wonderful time: I've being held against my will, lectured to hell and back, and being treated like a child. I went from free-spirited adventurer to prisoner with a strict set of rules. I really don't think there's anything that could make this experience any worse...