Anon Faps in Town Square (Rated R for Retarded)

    >Be fapping in Ponyville town square

    >Everyp0ny staring at you.

    >Insufficient fucks to distribute

    >The mayor babbles something about indecency and the scarring of small children.

    >Look over at the CMC's, whose eyes are buggier than normal

    >Jizz all over the Mayor's face and muss it into her main using your schlong-a-long-a-ding-dong

    >Chuckle heartily and go back to fapping.

 

>Holy crap, you love jerkin' the gerkin'

>Applejack runs up to you and bitches at you 'cus you're sitting on her apple stand and getting your sweaty stank ass all over her apples

>Start jerking with your opposite hand and rub your butt deeper into her wares

>Apple gets jammed halfway up your booty-hole.

"Anon, what's gotten into ya? I know things between you and Twi are pretty sour, but it ain't no reason to act like this!"

>Make the most spittle-filled hiss you can at the mention of Taintlight Scuttle

>Fart violently into Applejacks apples

>A few go flying several feet into the air.

>The cyclops is two powerful, you begin using both hands for this.

>Horrible moans escape your gullet as the pleasure wielding your sword with two hands is unimaginable

>Scootaloo begins crying

>No one cares though because she's an orphan.

>Fluttershy is behind the cherry cart masturbating furiously.

"Anon I can't let ya go on like this!"

>She rears back and kicks you in the stomach with her powerful backhooves

>You keel forward at the explosive force and vomit all over her ass

>She screams

>You jizz again all over her.

>Applebloom scurries over to the both of you, trying to appeal to your better nature

"Anon, please, ya gotta let us help ya, yer scarin' us!"

>"Yes Appleblump you can help me help your sister look less ugly."

>You pick her up with one hand begin wiping her all over Applejacks backside with the vague intent of cleaning off all the vomit and semen.

>Applebloom is crying

>Applejack has gone into shock

>You still haven't stopped doing the five-knuckle shuffle.

>"Why do we build the wall, my children, my children?"

"Oh Celestia, Anon, stop, please stop stop stop!"

>Lol silly applebliff why would I stop cracker jackin'?

>Scrub her harder into Applejacks putrid fur, the sobs and stank smell of vomit and fruit and dirt and sweat rustling your jimmies in the best way.

>P0nies everywhere begin screaming.

>You think it's time to unleash the thunder from down under

>SWITCH TO VECTOR CANNON MODE

>The crowd around you, some pulling, some biting, some kicking.

>ALL ENERGY LINES CONNECTED

"Anon, don't please, you have to stop!"

>LANDING GEAR AND CLIMBING IRONS LOCKED

"Anon, you're hurting them!"

>INNER CHAMBER PRESSURE RISING NORMALLY

"For Harmony's sake, someone call Celestia!"

>LIGHT RING HAS STARTED REVOLVING!

"OH NO, HE'S GOT ME! HELP! HELP!"

>

>

>

>READY TO FIRE

 

 

 

>Your jizzm blanketed the town as though Frosty the Snowman himself blew his load all over Equestria.

>P0nies everywhere moaned and cried as they struggled to move. Your semen already began to harden, trapping them in their sexy prisons to be used at your pleasure in the future.

>You breathe deep the smell of your man juice.

>"Ahh, wot's better?"

>The time has come when the courage of p0nies fail.

>You start to wade through the sea of jizz, intent on jacking off on top of SugarCube Corner.

>But a sudden flash of lighting sends you flying onto your ass

"ANONYMOUS THE HUMAN!"

>FAK!

"YOU HAVE BEEN WELCOMED AS A GUEST IN MY KINGDOM FOR YEARS, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY OUR FRIENDSHIP."

>It's the giant horse bitch. Babbling about friendship and charity or compound interest savings or shit you don't know.

>You felt bored so you start cranking the handle

"How dare you flaunt such ludeness and disrespect in any of our presence. I'm sorry Anonymous, but you've forced me to take drastic action."

>Her horn starts glowing.

>It looks kinda sexy.

"I hope you like bananas."

>mmmmm

"'Cus you're about to go bananas."

>You jizz again, aiming straight for her horn.

>It connects.

>Hawkeye as fuck.

>Celestia starts screaming. The fusion of your jizz and her magic begins to fluctuate wildly.

>Sounds begin to emanate from the ball of energy atop her horn. It sounds oddly like 80's porn groove.

>It explodes.

 

>Several months later and everyp0ny hates you.

>It turns out instead of teleporting your pervy ass to the moon, Celestia's corrupted spell transported your seed into the womb of every mare on the planet.

>So they were all your babby momma's now.

>They somehow expected you to take a measure of responsibility for it but you don't have a job so you for damn sure ain't gonna pay child support for no babby what you don't even know is yours its eyes are all different colors and shit goddamn.

>Still, you take refuge in the upper levels of the Carousel Boutique.

>You throw jizm and shit at anyone who dares to approach with claims of "It's yours Anon, just look at her, she's beautiful."

>Fuck those things, they're ugly as all get out.

>Celestia was the worst though. She kept sending you letters, for some reason thinking you care about what her squalling little shitbag's first words are.

>The letters are always covered with what you think are Celestia's dried tear drops.

>She really needed to chill out or get laid or something.

>To hell with this.

>You call your mom to come pick you up

>She does

>Alpha as fuck.

 

END