Title:           /PoFg/ Momma Bear and her Cub
Author:          Jathma
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Ms688BhF
First Edit:      Sunday 12th of February 2017 04:36:34 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 12th of February 2017 04:36:34 AM CDT

>Fuck shit bitch tits cunt ass FUCK
>You struggle to open the human-proof cabinet
>It was exactly the same as the bear proof trashcans you had in your old life
>And still couldn't be opened without three people, a crowbar and several language's worth of insulting it's lineage.
>It was amazing how quickly these scientific abortions reverse engineered humanity's most challenging puzzle
>Well, humanity's second most challenging puzzle, they still haven't figured out the secret behind how tightly the chinese pack clothing
>It's a fucking mystery
>Angrily smacking the side you her a click
"What?"
>You poke the cabinet door and it just swings open
>Then the front door does as well
>"Anon, I'm home and I brought you-"
>Zhanna stops in her tracks staring at you in disbelief
>Looking up at your ursine owner, you put on the most innocent look you can
>Kind of hard to do while pulling human treats (now with MDMA) out with one hand and an unopened jar of strawberry preserves with the other
>Zhanna stares at you, looks at the shit in your hands, then back at you
>And gives you the most disapproving glare possible
>It was as though she could see into your very soul
>And you though random old ladies in the supermarket were good at doing that
>"Anonymous..."
>Oh shit
>Now you fucked up
>Now you really fucked the hell up
>She just used your full name
>Countermeasures need to be swift and precise
>Only you can stop this shitstorm looming over the horizon
 
 
>With the precision and care of the surgeon general himself, you put back the human treats and jam
>Closing the cabinet softly, you stand and slowly walk toward the angry looking bear, abashed
>Missiles launching in t minus thirty seconds
>Looking up to her, you pull out all the stops and give her a look so pitiful it would have even Statler and Waldorf staring into the distance uncomfortably
>You can see the effect on her fuzzy features already, the award winning disapproval melting like butter on hot toast
>5
>4
>3
>2
>1
"momma, ahm sowwy"
>There it is
>That's the cutest thing you've done all year, maybe even in your entire life
>Except that one time when you were maybe two years old
>But you don't talk about the Spaghetti Incident
>It worked though, you can see Zhanna breaking down
>She straight up cried and grabs you into a literally bear hug
>You thank God for blessing humanity, and now anthros with low cut v-neck shirts
>The Sow's warm fur tickling your face, and her thick body enveloping your own
>She isn't fat by any means, just bottom heavy like most bears
>"Damn it Anon, why can't I be mad at you?"
>Because I beat Leo to the Oscars?
>You struggle to make a shrug while mashed into her bosom, seriously, she has some great tits
>You look at er, making eye contact
"fank yew momma"
>And there's the killing blow
>Poor girl won't be able to recover from this one for a while
>You point to the living room
>TV should help, even if it saved your sorry ass from one hell of a beating you still felt sorry for your caretaker
>One does not just drop that kind of feels nuke and not expect fallout
>"You wanna watch the tv? Okey, come on.  Hup"
>She picks you up like a child and carries you to her large couch
>Sitting down Zhanna grabs her remote from the side table and turns on Netflix
>Bojack Horseman seems oddly appropriate
>You curl up on her lap and she pets your head
>The rough pad sliding over your head with a soft caring that was surprising for bears
>This is the life
 
[simplyebin]I know Leo finally got one of those golden statues, but let me have this one joke[/simplyebin]