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Attempt at anon in Equestria story

By: Janderson on Apr 23rd, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 8.52 KB | hits: 91 | expires: Never

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>Life in the world is boring.
>Sure, on a relative scale all the murder and violence that corrupt the world make it interesting.
>Not that you'd ever go near it.
>Your just a simple person, names Anonymous, and you live the 'good' life.
>You have an OK apartment. Its not horrid but its nothing high class.
>You have a girlfriend, yet again not ugly, and though she is pretty not overly hot.
>You have a job, pays average. Enough for you to splurge on some things here and there. Not enough to buy a ring or a house.
>Not that it would allow you to become any less boring.
>However, unexpected events litter everything. They make life good, fun even. The things you don't see coming, good or bad, its what keeps you going. And no matter how much you brush it off as an irregular thought, you know its true.
>Thats why, when your presented with a choice that others could kill for, you roll with it.
>It makes life exciting.
>Why..it happened so long ago, yet it only feels like days.
>You had just gotten home from work, your boss had been an extra special dick that day.
>Just want to sleep
>Move over to bed.
>Falling on it, fully clothed, you've never felt so good.
>Then a loud boom sounds and the room shakes. You fall out of bed.
>You think fast and duck under a writing desk you splurged on; Earthquake precedere and all.
>However, the shaking doesn't subside. It keeps getting more intense. Is this common? You've never been awake during an Earthquake before...
>Desk fucking falls over, your covers blown!
>Picture of family out of fucking nowhere.
>Hits you on the top of the head, glass shatters and you start bleeding. You brush off pieces, cutting your hands.
>Shit this hurts
>Then, the room hurls itself. Literally, your thrown up onto the top left side of the room.
>It starts spinning. Not your vision, the room itself. Your stuff is flung everywhere. You barely manage to avoid the bed as it hurtles toward you. It hits the wall, and besides cracking it, also breaks the wooden frame and headboard. The mattress seems unharmed.
>Then, just as it happened, everything is still. You fall to the floor, bruising your ribs on wood, glass, and some drywall.
>Sunlight pours in, which is uncommon for 9:00 pm.
>Wait...that's not right, sunlight shouldn't be here during your sleeping hour.
>You crawl over to the ruins of your window. Your ribs ache and frankly shit could happen outside.
>Stealthily, a new type of adverb to you, your slowly edge yourself up over the window. Peering outside.
>Its a lake
>There isn't a lake in the middle of the city you lived in.
>Maybe a tornado ripped your room off its foundations and flung it some hundred miles
>You know it is not possible, but hell, excuses will help you through this shit.
>You stand up now. You pick up a sharp piece of wood, its like a javelin.
>You go to open your door, the whole frame falls down in front of you
>This shit stopped being funny a couple of minutes ago.
>You wander around now. You notice some weird birds and insects flying and buzzing around. Some odd flowers, almost cartoony, lay along a dirt trail.
>Your mind processes this slowly. Dirt trail...that's a sign of civilization.
>People who can help you
>You start down the path, slightly limping at first but slowly returning to a regular walk.
>You'd run if it wouldn't have your ribs jab you right in the heart.
>Up ahead, you see buildings. Some type of purple, pink nightmare
>Who painted those?!
>Nevertheless, you go on. You start to approach the city when someone shouts something unintelligible.
>Next thing you know, all the doors are shut tight and your walking alone
>Fucking hospitality
>You find yourself at a place labeled 'Sugarcube Corner'
>At least this place is English
>You look around. Someone darts out from the building from far away. She ducks into an open shop
>You squint, then sign your watching them
>You continue walking down the street for some time. No one comes out, no one greets you.
>Must look pretty bad for them to not offer medical service
>Then it occurs to you, you should probably find a mirror or something to see the damage dealt to yourself earlier
>You find one in a shop window. You have a black eye, a gash on your nose, and a cut over one of your lips
"HEY YOU! FREEZE WHERE YOU STAND"
>You turn, holding up your stick in defense. You look down the street where the sound came from
>No one there. No one but....a pony.
>And hes dressed like a soldier. How quaint.
"PUT DOWN THE WEAPON!"
>ohshit.jpg
>Pony just fucking talked
>If you were tired before, your not now
>You suppose that you should do what the pony po-po said, but hell, talking pony.
>You turned around and fucking ran
"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"
>You start sprinting out of town, its about 300 yards away. You look back
>Oh shit its flying
>Hes gaining fast, there is no way your going to get out of town before he catches you, and even then, if you got out, he'd just keep pursing you.
>You need to hide and fast
>Up ahead you see a library(big sign with a book indicates this), you run up and around the corner, slipping inside
>Thank moot it was unlocked
>The guard flies by, shouting for you
>God your fleeing from pony cops. What just happened
>You stand up and sigh. Nice to know your safe from harm now
>Then something hits you over the head, knocking you unconscious
>You last thought; "Ouch"
>You wake up with blurry vision. You ears are ringing, like the first time you fired a shotgun
>Felt better then than now though.
>You sit up, swaying a bit. You've been drugged
>Looking around, your in some sort of chariot with bars on it. Like what a circus uses to transport the animals
>Except your inside and the animals are transporting you.
>More ponies, dressed like the guard from before, are all around you. You count twelve, three on each side
>Looks like your going to be here for awhile
>Up ahead, a castle looms in the distance
>Gives you a good feeling
>About 45 minutes pass before you start to enter another town, wait, no, this is a city. Its actually quite grand
>Some ponies stare as your dragged by. You mouth; "Help me", but none come to your aid
>A few even glare at you
>Eventually your let through a force field, and come to the gates of the palace
"Alright you...whatever, just get out and calmly walk inside
>To make the point clear he stomps his hoof
>badpokerface.jpg
>You lead inside, eavesdropping as you go
"....and was recovered in your sisters library, where she cleverly apprehended him before he realize her presence there. Not a known species of animal Captain, we brought it here for Celestia to analyze.
>His sister? Awh, now you've been taken out by a female pony librarian. You feel you fathers shame gaze, wherever he is now.
>Inside is a grand hall, very long and fancy. Probably cost a shitload of...money. Not sure how things work in ponyland. Ponypresident probably paid many ponydollars for all this ponyshit.
>ponyponyponypony
>Then you see a grand pony. She(unless its an MANLY tiara) is about twice the size of a regular pony
>You decide to play it cool and sarcastic
"Is this the animal that you all found roaming through ponyville?" She asks them
"Yes your majesty, you see, it came from the lake and was caught in Twili-" He is cut off by you clearing your throat.
"Guard, I'ma let you finish, but I'd just like to call bullshit on this. I was attacked by these ruffians while trying to seek medical care." You say. You smirk at the guard, whom shakes his head and goes on
"in Twilight's Library. He was carrying a weapon, a sharped stick, with him at the time." the Guard turns towards you, for your rebuttal
"Obviously I was right too since flying ponies attacked me for no goddamn reason!" You shout. "I was disoriented, still am because someone fucking hit me, and hurt! Then one of you came flying around shouting, I freaked out, tried to bail."
"Gentlecolts, please calm down. I'm sure we can get each side of your story later. May I ask, what are you mister....?" Celestia pauses, she doesn't know who or what you are.
"Why I'm Anonymous, 'your majesty', and I'm just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit." You start to hum the lyrics to the song. She doesn't get the reference. Pfft, no taste whatsoever.
"Whatever you are, I'm sure you can discuss it with my later, Mr. Anonymous. In the meantime, Shining Armor, please escort him to the guest room 4A." She then turns and walks away. Rude.
"Alright Anonymous, follow me and keep it nice and simple. I don't want to hurt you." The pony from earlier, name apparently shining armor, says. Ha ha...
>End Chapter One

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>Life in the world is boring.
>Sure, on a relative scale all the murder and violence that corrupt the world make it interesting.
>Not that you'd ever go near it.
>Your just a simple person, names Anonymous, and you live the 'good' life.
>You have an OK apartment. Its not horrid but its nothing high class.
>You have a girlfriend, yet again not ugly, and though she is pretty not overly hot.
>You have a job, pays average. Enough for you to splurge on some things here and there. Not enough to buy a ring or a house.
>Not that it would allow you to become any less boring.
>However, unexpected events litter everything. They make life good, fun even. The things you don't see coming, good or bad, its what keeps you going. And no matter how much you brush it off as an irregular thought, you know its true.
>Thats why, when your presented with a choice that others could kill for, you roll with it.
>It makes life exciting.
>Why..it happened so long ago, yet it only feels like days.


>You had just gotten home from work, your boss had been an extra special dick that day.
>Just want to sleep
>Move over to bed.
>Falling on it, fully clothed, you've never felt so good.
>Then a loud boom sounds and the room shakes. You fall out of bed.
>You think fast and duck under a writing desk you splurged on; Earthquake precedere and all.
>However, the shaking doesn't subside. It keeps getting more intense. Is this common? You've never been awake during an Earthquake before...
>Desk fucking falls over, your covers blown!
>Picture of family out of fucking nowhere.
>Hits you on the top of the head, glass shatters and you start bleeding. You brush off pieces, cutting your hands.
>Shit this hurts
>Then, the room hurls itself. Literally, your thrown up onto the top left side of the room.
>It starts spinning. Not your vision, the room itself. Your stuff is flung everywhere. You barely manage to avoid the bed as it hurtles toward you. It hits the wall, and besides cracking it, also breaks the wooden frame and headboard. The mattress seems unharmed.
>Then, just as it happened, everything is still. You fall to the floor, bruising your ribs on wood, glass, and some drywall.
>Sunlight pours in, which is uncommon for 9:00 pm.
>Wait...that's not right, sunlight shouldn't be here during your sleeping hour.


>You crawl over to the ruins of your window. Your ribs ache and frankly shit could happen outside.
>Stealthily, a new type of adverb to you, your slowly edge yourself up over the window. Peering outside.
>Its a lake
>There isn't a lake in the middle of the city you lived in.
>Maybe a tornado ripped your room off its foundations and flung it some hundred miles
>You know it is not possible, but hell, excuses will help you through this shit.
>You stand up now. You pick up a sharp piece of wood, its like a javelin.
>You go to open your door, the whole frame falls down in front of you
>This shit stopped being funny a couple of minutes ago.


>You wander around now. You notice some weird birds and insects flying and buzzing around. Some odd flowers, almost cartoony, lay along a dirt trail.
>Your mind processes this slowly. Dirt trail...that's a sign of civilization.
>People who can help you
>You start down the path, slightly limping at first but slowly returning to a regular walk.
>You'd run if it wouldn't have your ribs jab you right in the heart.
>Up ahead, you see buildings. Some type of purple, pink nightmare
>Who painted those?!
>Nevertheless, you go on. You start to approach the city when someone shouts something unintelligible.
>Next thing you know, all the doors are shut tight and your walking alone
>Fucking hospitality


>You find yourself at a place labeled 'Sugarcube Corner'
>At least this place is English
>You look around. Someone darts out from the building from far away. She ducks into an open shop
>You squint, then sign your watching them
>You continue walking down the street for some time. No one comes out, no one greets you.
>Must look pretty bad for them to not offer medical service
>Then it occurs to you, you should probably find a mirror or something to see the damage dealt to yourself earlier
>You find one in a shop window. You have a black eye, a gash on your nose, and a cut over one of your lips
"HEY YOU! FREEZE WHERE YOU STAND"
>You turn, holding up your stick in defense. You look down the street where the sound came from
>No one there. No one but....a pony.
>And hes dressed like a soldier. How quaint.
"PUT DOWN THE WEAPON!"
>ohshit.jpg
>Pony just fucking talked
>If you were tired before, your not now


>You suppose that you should do what the pony po-po said, but hell, talking pony.
>You turned around and fucking ran
"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"
>You start sprinting out of town, its about 300 yards away. You look back
>Oh shit its flying
>Hes gaining fast, there is no way your going to get out of town before he catches you, and even then, if you got out, he'd just keep pursing you.
>You need to hide and fast
>Up ahead you see a library(big sign with a book indicates this), you run up and around the corner, slipping inside
>Thank moot it was unlocked
>The guard flies by, shouting for you
>God your fleeing from pony cops. What just happened
>You stand up and sigh. Nice to know your safe from harm now
>Then something hits you over the head, knocking you unconscious
>You last thought; "Ouch"


>You wake up with blurry vision. You ears are ringing, like the first time you fired a shotgun
>Felt better then than now though.
>You sit up, swaying a bit. You've been drugged
>Looking around, your in some sort of chariot with bars on it. Like what a circus uses to transport the animals
>Except your inside and the animals are transporting you.
>More ponies, dressed like the guard from before, are all around you. You count twelve, three on each side
>Looks like your going to be here for awhile
>Up ahead, a castle looms in the distance
>Gives you a good feeling


>About 45 minutes pass before you start to enter another town, wait, no, this is a city. Its actually quite grand
>Some ponies stare as your dragged by. You mouth; "Help me", but none come to your aid
>A few even glare at you
>Eventually your let through a force field, and come to the gates of the palace
"Alright you...whatever, just get out and calmly walk inside
>To make the point clear he stomps his hoof
>badpokerface.jpg
>You lead inside, eavesdropping as you go
"....and was recovered in your sisters library, where she cleverly apprehended him before he realize her presence there. Not a known species of animal Captain, we brought it here for Celestia to analyze.
>His sister? Awh, now you've been taken out by a female pony librarian. You feel you fathers shame gaze, wherever he is now.


>Inside is a grand hall, very long and fancy. Probably cost a shitload of...money. Not sure how things work in ponyland. Ponypresident probably paid many ponydollars for all this ponyshit.
>ponyponyponypony
>Then you see a grand pony. She(unless its an MANLY tiara) is about twice the size of a regular pony
>You decide to play it cool and sarcastic
"Is this the animal that you all found roaming through ponyville?" She asks them
"Yes your majesty, you see, it came from the lake and was caught in Twili-" He is cut off by you clearing your throat.
"Guard, I'ma let you finish, but I'd just like to call bullshit on this. I was attacked by these ruffians while trying to seek medical care." You say. You smirk at the guard, whom shakes his head and goes on
"in Twilight's Library. He was carrying a weapon, a sharped stick, with him at the time." the Guard turns towards you, for your rebuttal
"Obviously I was right too since flying ponies attacked me for no goddamn reason!" You shout. "I was disoriented, still am because someone fucking hit me, and hurt! Then one of you came flying around shouting, I freaked out, tried to bail."
"Gentlecolts, please calm down. I'm sure we can get each side of your story later. May I ask, what are you mister....?" Celestia pauses, she doesn't know who or what you are.
"Why I'm Anonymous, 'your majesty', and I'm just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit." You start to hum the lyrics to the song. She doesn't get the reference. Pfft, no taste whatsoever.
"Whatever you are, I'm sure you can discuss it with my later, Mr. Anonymous. In the meantime, Shining Armor, please escort him to the guest room 4A." She then turns and walks away. Rude.
"Alright Anonymous, follow me and keep it nice and simple. I don't want to hurt you." The pony from earlier, name apparently shining armor, says. Ha ha...
>End Chapter One

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