Title:           Pinkemena thread bumper 3
Author:          Jamkin
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/r3BpdBnK
First Edit:      Sunday 1st of September 2013 07:20:13 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 1st of September 2013 07:20:13 PM CDT

>You are Anon.
>Forever Alone.
>You're not trying to be, but you can't seem to get a date.
>To be honest, you're only going after Pinkie, so you can't say you've exhausted all options.
>But she always seemed so busy and happy and-
>Friendly.
>Like all she could have was friends.
>You hadn't met any failed suitors of hers.
>And you hadn't met anyone she hadn't introduced you to.
>The coincedence worried you, because a girl as bright and happy and pretty as she was must have had one or two.
>And in a town this small, they wouldn't have simply lost touch.
>So you just longed from beside, because that was better than longing from afar.
>Anyway, you were the local pharmacist.
>And in a town this small, that doubled as chemist.
>Pinkie frequently contacted you for fireworks, and the little wonders of chemistry.
>Like a powder that jellied water.
>Or a gas that made everyone talk with a deep, deep voice.
>But mostly, she wanted new punch.
>You approached punch-making as an art, one that could ever be improved.
>You had improved on it quite a bit.
>She knew this, and was always happy to test your latest recipe at her parties.
>You never minded making the liters and liters of the stuff.
>A few minutes with her was always worth any amount of your time.
>You are actually working on another batch for her right now.
>But this time, you were trying something immoral and doubtlessly illegal.
>Mixing [spoiler] a harmless, inactive substance[/spoiler] into the punch.
>You do so and close the tank.
>Yeah, you mix it up in those hundred liter barrels.
Pinkie! I'm done!
>She comes in from your living room, "Great! I'll just take-"
>Looking over your notes, you interrupt her.
Wait, forgot this.
>You pop open the lid, and pour a golden, eye-watering liquid into the still-swirling punch.
>"What was that?"
Brandy, you said it was a bachelorette party, right?
>"Well, yeah, but-"
They'll need an excuse for what they'll be doing.
>You seal the tank and roll it to Pinkie's Party Van.
Come on, let's go.
>You load it up and, shutting the back door, clamber into the front seat, taking care to avoid Pinkie's pet alligator.
>To the party you went, Pinkie driving.
>Once there, you unloaded the punch and, that done, nurse a cup of it outside on the Party Van.
>Pinkie, surprisingly, joins you with her own cup.
>You chat for a while, until your cups run dry.
>Being the elegant gentleman that you are, you volunteer to retrieve some more punch.
>She agrees, so you go.
>Inside, it appears that the guests drank deep of the punch, with them being just two articles of clothing away from an orgy.
>You manage to get to the bowl unmolested, and fill up two cups, holding one in your mouth and using your free hand to drop a catalyst in the other.
>The powder quickly dissolves, leaving the drink looking the same as before.
>You continue out to the Party Van, with the pleasant times ahead in mind.
Herweh.
>You offer the drink in hand to her, she accepts, and you finally remove your cup from your jaws.
>You sip.
I think that someone else boozed the punch.
>You note, tasting the altered flavor.
>Pinkie tries to say something, but her voice is so slurred that you can't understand it.
>Moments later, she is gone to Hypno's realm.
>You give a self-deprecating smile, then scoop her up and drive her back to your house.
>You take Pinkie up to your room, and gently lay her on your bed.
>Taking a brush, you smooth and straighten her hair, so it's just how you like it.
>Then you lie on the bed beside her, and gathering Pinkie up in your arms, hold her.
>She is warm and soft and smells a little of some saccharine perfume, and a little of baking.
>Though others might be drawn to wreak havoc upon her sleeping form, you are content to cuddle your sweet waifu.
>It was a shame you had so little time to do it.
>Three hours gone, and then you had to take her back to her apartment.
>As you drive back to your empty house, you smile at the memory, and wonder if you could do that again.
>And Pinkie wakes up in her silent apartment, looks at the empty space on her bed, and sighs.