Rise of a Kingdom

>You wake up.

>Dear god, how much did you drink last night...

>Were you even drinking...?

>No... You don't think you were...

>You decide now's as good a time as any to get up off the ground, and start glancing around you for your house.

>You see nothing but snow and trees in any direction.

>Surely you wouldn't have wandered that far out into the snow, right?

>You search the snow for your footprints, but there's nothing here.

>Last night's storm must have erased them from the ground.

>You reach in your pockets and start to feel around for your cell phone.

>It's not in there, only your knife, flint, and some gum.

>You pull out a piece and take off in a random direction, sure that you can find a highway or something nearby. 

 

>Trudging through the snow, you notice the light is starting to fade quickly, seemingly faster than normal.

>you start breaking off dead twigs from the dead trees littering the forest, and clear a small patch of ground.

>Pulling out the flint, you get to work lighting it.

>You've watched plenty of Bear Grylls, so you should be an expert at all things related to survival and piss-drinking.

>It takes you twenty or so tries, but you finally ignite a spark, and the wood begins to burn.

>Too quick. The fire Uses up it's fuel before you can gather some more wood to throw on it.

>Fucking hell... at least you have the wood in advanced now.

>You break off an excess of branches this time, learning from your mistakes.

>This time it only takes you ten times to light it.

>Yay you!

>... You just realized you don't have shelter though...

>Fuck everything...

>You make a little snow barrier against the wind and go to sleep.

>Maybe God will pull the stick he has in his ass out, and let you not die of hypothermia.

>You drift off to sleep, ignoring the chilly environment.

 

>Waking up, you bask in the warmth of the sun, enjoying the little relief from the cold it gives you.

>You stomp out the fire, and start heading off in the same direction as before.

>The forest is oddly quiet you note, the only thing,you hear is our own boots crunching on the snow.

>You think you see some sort of structure in the distance, but it may just be your eyes playing tricks on you, as you can't remember any stone buildings nearby.

>Regardless you decide it's your best chance of getting back to civilization.

>You start to Sprint in the direction of the structure, eager to get out of the frigid temperatures, when you hear a loud splintering of wood behind you.

>Knowing fully well what caused it, you turn to face the breaker of the silence, and are surprised.

>It's a bear obviously, but whats surprising about it is the species.

>It's an young polar bear.

>Poor thing appears to be starved.

>And he's looking at you with hunger in his eyes to match.

>You take off, continuing in the direction of the structure.

>As you're running as fast as your body will allow, you glance over your shoulder.

>The conditions must be much worse on you than the bear, as it's gaining on you quickly.

>You pull out your knife incase it catches you.

>Good choice on our end, because it sinks it's claws into your free arm as you grasp the handle.

>You swipe behind you with the blade, catching the bear on the side of its face.

>This does nothing but make it angry, and it bites at you.

>You jump back, but end up slipping on some ice.

>The bear pins you, starting to try to bite into your flesh.

>Holding up the arm it hit, you attempt to hold back it's face from your neck.

 

>You flail your other arm around, reaching desperately for the knife.

>A little closer...

>Closer....

>The bear starts to push through your arm, overpowering you despite starvation.

>You make purchase on the handle, and in quickly ram it into the neck of the beast.

>It begins to flee with the knife still in its neck, leaving a trail of crimson through the snow for you.

>You follow it through the woods, eventually coming across the body.

>You hope you,don't get fined for,killing an endangered species, but it's not like you have a choice.

>Glancing around for any witnesses, you begin to skin the body.

>It's fur may be mangled and stained red, but it will sure as hell make better protection than your torn up clothing.

>Donning the bear pelt and becoming one with your inner viking through silly poses, you get a fire going and throw a hunk of the meat onto it.

>You prepare to hunker down for a while as it cooks, fletching a branch into a pointed stick for later.

 

>Cutting open the slightly charred hunk, you're fairly content that it has been cooked more than enough.

>You stab the hunk of meat through it, and go off on your merry way.

>You glance at the sun again.

>This time, it seems to be staying still at high noon.

>You can't complain, despite the snow it is surprisingly comfortable in the sun.

>Though it does certainly unnerve you.

>Your nearing the structure now, it almost seems to be some sort of castle.

>Actually, that is EXACTLY what it is.

>Since when did you live near a fucking castle?

>Fuck it, you don't care, theres lights inside, and that means people.

>You smash on the door, but to no avail.

>Maybe they can't hear you over whatever's going on inside.

>Glancing for another way out of this cold, you notice an old wall crumbling along the side of the place, with a window right above it.

>You begin to scale the wall, careful not to break any bricks loose.

>You manage to come to the top, and peak in the window.

>No one is in there, so you break your way in, and hope someone finds you without realizing you were the one who bust in the window.

>You walk through the halls, noting the unusual amount of unicorn artwork.

>"Good heavens! Who let in such a manner of wretched beast!"

>Beast?

 

>You spin around to face the prissy bitch that is addressing you.

"Who the fuck are you calling a beast, Bit.... Are you a fucking unicorn?!"

>"Oh look... It can talk... Clover, would you please escort this...'thing' out?

>"Such a manner of... philistine should not be among us unicorns, perhaps the likes of those 'Earthies' will be more suitable company for it."

>"Ugh... Fine princess..."

>"That's Princess Platinum to you! I say, Clover, you have worse manners than those uncouth Pegasi!"

>The white one leaves, and the purple one beckons you to follow.

"what the hell is an 'Earthie'?"

>And what the fuck was in that bear meat?

>"She calls earth ponies 'Earthies' for some reason. They live in the plains south of here, maybe you'll be better off there instead of here. Heck, I'd probably be..."

>As you reach the door, she points the direction of south, and you walk off into the woods.

>What on Earth just happened...

 

>You walk through the woods, heading god knows where.

>You don't care, you just want to get away from... Whatever freaky hallucination you had.

>It must have been bad bear meat... right?

>You've never done hallucinogens, but that did seem oddly vivid of one.

>The bear meat seemed fine also, if not lean.

>Either way, you just want to get home.

>You walk, the snow crunching underneath your feet with each step you take.

>It's kind of nice, were it not so damn cold.

>And the hunger is starting to get to you, that bear wasn't enough.

>You stop in your tracks, looking for any sign of anything nearby.

>You notice a grand total of absolutely nothing.

>Wait... Theres the blood trail from earlier.

>Maybe if you find the carcass again you can get some more?

>No, fuck that.

>You've had enough of talking mystical horses.

>You just keep on walking.

 

>After about thirty minutes, you notice something.

>The trees are starting to thin out, and up ahead looks like it could be the edge of them.

>You pick up the pace, and start to run towards the forest boundary.

>As you hop a small log in your path, you fall on the other side, it being a small drop off.

>You trip over yourself, flailing your arms out looking for something to grab.

>Unable to recover, you hit the ground hard.

>You just lay there for a bit, taking in your surroundings from your vantage point of a few inches off the ground.

>Either side of you is a sort of dirt ledge, with a straight road between them.

>Wait! a road!

>That means people!

>You pop up with newfound vigor, and start heading in one direction.

 

>The woods give way shortly after, and you find yourself in hilly grasslands.

>You keep going, paying little heed to your surroundings.

>That is, until you notice something that stops you dead in your tracts.

>A small, horse-drawn cart, off on the side of the road.

>Nearby is a small tarp, hung between two bushes as a make-shift tent.

>You don't care that they're probably Amish, it's still a human being!

>Dashing for the cart in a all-out sprint, you start to yell out.

"Hey! Is anyone there? I need help!"

>A feminine voice calls back to you. "Just a minute! I'll be right there!"

>You continue in your sprint, too eager to wait for them.

>You reach the cart, and feel like fainting at what you see.

>It's another fucking unicorn, this time mint green.

>"...Oh... My... Goodness..."

>What ever was in your system should be long gone...

>Are you in Hell? Purgatory? A coma?

>You just stare at each other for a while, equally in shock it seems.

>Suddenly  though, she breaks the silence.

>"Are you...?"

"Am I what?"

>"The Mystical White Gorilla of the North?"

>The fuck?

"I'm afraid not?"

>Aww... What are you then?"

"Human."

>"Never heard of them!"

"Just where the hell am I?"

>"The edge of earth pony territory, why? Are you lost?"

"And loony..."

>"Pardon?"

"You. Should. Not. Exist."

>Are you all right?"

"Horses-"

>"Ponies."

"Ponies. No. Talk."

>"You're starting to freak me out a bit..."

"You're the one getting freaked out?! I have no idea where I am, I'm freezing my ass off, and I'm talking to a fucking unicorn!"

>Dear god, you're never going to get home, are you?...

>"Easy there, calm down. Breathe in Mr. Monkey, and breathe out. Breathe in, and breathe out."

"I'm not a monkey."

>"Just calm down, then come talk to me."

>You sit on her cart, and take a bit to collect yourself.

 

>"Feeling better?"

"No."

>"You at least act calmer I guess... So tell me, what's your name?"

"Anonymous, you?"

>"I'm Lyrical the Half-Blooded, but everypony calls me Lyra!"

>"Except other unicorns, they call me Half-Blood."

>Half-Blooded?

>"Where are you from?"

"Not here... wherever 'here' is anyways..."

>"I already told you that, were near Earth Pony Territory."

>As if that helps at all.

>"You gonna ask another question?"

"Nope, I think I'm good for now."

>"Ok then! Do humans have a special talent?"

"What do you mean?"

>"Guess not! It's what a pony is best at in life! See the lute on my flank?"

>Huh... How did you not notice that before.

"Yes?"

>"I got it because I'm a bard! I travel the land, looking for tales grand and small to turn  into songs!"

>A bard, what the fuck? Is this the middle ages or something?

"Cool... I guess. I'm a chef."

>At a fast food restaurant.

>"Ooo..."

"So, wheres the nearest town?"

>"Just keep following the road that a way, we're only a few miles from it."

>You start walking off.

>"Hey!"

>She gallops over to you.

"Hmm?"

>"I'm heading the same way. We should go together!"

>You've never traveled with a talking horse...

>But, the company has been actually kind of nice.

"Ehh, sure. Why the fuck not?"

>"Great! I'll get my stuff together!"

"Got any food with you?"

>"I'll trade some for some stories of yours."

"Deal!"

 

>You've been munching on some fruit, telling Lyrical a story for each one.

>This eventually turned into trying to teach her some Billy Joel lyrics.

>You two are singing Piano Man, when she suddenly quiets.

"Something wrong?"

>"We just entered Earth Pony Territory."

"So?"

>"Relations between Unicorns and Earth Ponies have been stressed more than usual lately. They know me here, but I'm worried about you. They've been building what few defenses they have, and becoming paranoid because of it."

>Oh...

"What should we do?"

>"We should be fine, just let me do the talking if we come across any pony before we reach town."

"How far is it anyways?"

>"Just over those hills."

>You bound over the hill in front of you, eager to reach any civilization, human or not now.

>"Anon! Wait!"

>You ignore her, only to run into a group of ponies.

>All with spears pointed at your throat.

>The one you think is the leader spits out her weapon.

>"Begone beast! We've had enough of those mammoths, we don't need any yetis also!"

>"Bon-Voyage! Stop!"

>Lyrical runs over to your side.

>"Get away from it Lyra!"

>"Why?"

>"It could be dangerous!"

>"He's not attacking me now, is he?"

>"Well... No..."

>"Trust me, he's fine. I was with him since the edge of the Deadwoods!"

>The mare motions to the soldiers around her, and they lower the spears.

>Lyrical gets the dumbest grin on her face.

>It's kind of cute.

>"Just don't try to cause any shit here, we have enough trouble as is."

"Will do."

>Lyrical goes over to Bon-Voyage, and gives her a hug.

>"So, Bon-Bon, how are things?"

>"We had another mammoth rampage near a farm south of here. I'll tell you about it at the inn later, just please make sure this yeti-thing doesn't cause any trouble."

>"Will do sis! Bye!"

>You and your short green savior walk off through the town gate.

>As you enter, the fact they can support an army becomes an amazement to you.

>They're obviously very poor, especially compared to the unicorns in that castle.

>And there's filth everywhere.

>Something else strikes your eye.

"Why are there no unicorns here?"

>"Why would there be any?"

"Well, aren't you one? Where are the rest?"

>"I'm special! There aren't any others here!"

 

>You pull the covers over you.

>There was no bed fit for your size, but the supposed 'mammoth skin' rug is soft enough.

>Lyrical finished talking to her sister evidently, and started to play her lute for the ponies still awake.

>You drift off to sleep.

 

>Your awoken around what feels like 3 in the morning by an erratic unicorn shaking you.

>How is she doing that...

>"Anonymous! Quick! Gotta go!"

"Five... More minutes..."

"No time sleepy!"

>She points her horn at you.

>Oh shit... Did you somehow piss her off enough to stab you?

>As you're getting up it starts to glow.

>A small beam of light shoots off of it, hitting you in the chest.

>It feels... Good?

>Actually it feels great!

"what did you do? I feel amazing!"

>"Just a simple energy spell, now come one we have to go go go!!"

"Wait... a spell?... Are you a wizard?"

>"No time to talk! Just Goooo!"

>She runs outside, and you follow close behind.

>You run over to her cart and start to pull it.

>"Damn it Anonymous! We'll get it later!"

>Ponies are fleeing their homes, while several with armor start grasping weaponry in their mouths.

>Most of them are looking towards the west, gazing at a large flock of birds.

>There just birds, whats so frightening about them...

 

>Your almost at the edge of town, when a spear lands right next to you.

>You glance up, just in time to dodge another.

>That's not a bird...

>You run, as a Pegasus charges you with a spiked helm.

>It's nearing too fast for you to dodge, and you close our eyes in preparation to meet your fate.

>...Any second now...

>You open your eyes, to see an a speared pegasus and an enraged Bon-Voyage shouting at you to run.

>You run through the gate, leaving the carnage behind you.

>You glance around for Lyrical, only to be blinded by a flash of light.

>Blinking a few times, you see a green tuff of mane running besides you.

>How did she get next to you so fast?

>"Keep going slowpoke!"

"What about your sister?"

>"Bon-Bon will be fine, head to the woods east of here!"

>You head east, running as fast as your legs will allow.

 

>You reach the woods, wishing you ran more in the past.

>At least your running now... you guess...

>Goddamn you're out of breath.

>There's no rest for the weary here evidently, because as soon as you stop Lyrical assaults you with a hug.

>"You made it!"

>"Did you think I wouldn't?"

>"Maybe..."

"Hey!"

>"Well you kept on stopping for stupid reasons."

"Like your cart?"

>"Stupid reason to loose your life over."

>She's got you there...

"So, what the fucking hell happened back there?"

>"Wow, you really aren't from around here, I thought you were just joking around?"

"Just tell me what happened."

>"Isn't it obvious? The Pegasi attacked!"

"Why?"

>"I dunno!"

"So, there are Unicorns, Earth Ponies, and Pegasi, any other kinds?"

"Nope... Ooo! Come to think of it, while we wait for the fighting to stop I can teach you about the three tribes!"

 

>Your sitting at the fire, gazing across the flames at Lyrical.

>"Ok, lets start with the Pegasi Tribe."

>"They're a militaristic society, centered around the cloud-city of Stormfall."

>"Their society is rigid in military discipline, and they're a nasty bunch. If you simply insult one of the kings mothers, they will use it as a reason to go to war."

"Kings?"

>"Pfft, you don't know what a king is?"

"I know what a king is! Just haven't heard of more than one... unless..."

>"They're not gay Anon, it's a diarchy.

>"One goes to war, the other stays behind to head the government."

>Diarchy... Where have you heard that before...

>From birth the most able are trained for combat, both arial and land.

"They sound... tough..."

>"Mhmm!"

 

>"Next is the Unicorns."

"Like you, right?"

>"He he, Sort of."

>"They tend to keep to themselves, in various castles around their territory."

>"If it wasn't for our magic, there probably wouldn't be any Unicorns left, as they do nothing but move the sun and moon while mining for gems and taking a share of the Earth Ponies food."

>They move the sun and the moon? How'd they manage that lie?

>"something wrong?"

"Oh, umm, just waiting for you to continue..."

>"They only have one king, King Diamond, but they also have a parliament."

"What about a 'Princess Platinum'?"

>"His only daughter, how do you know of her?"

"Her and some pony named Clover caught me breaking in."

>"And she let you go alive?! She must have been in a good mood that day!"

>Riiiight... How the hell was that a good mood?

 

>"Lastly is the Earth ponies, the ones who are always stepped on and pushed around."

"Like your sister."

>"Yep!"

>"They're the farmers who are always forced to pay outrageous portions of their produce for simple stuff, like rain or sunshine."

>"Usually, they're caught between the Unicorns and Pegasi fighting, instead of directly at war with either."

"So, who's their king?"

>"There is none, each city elects a councilor, and they convene in Solkrun. Then they elect a high counciler. The only ones I can name off hand are Posey and Puddinghead."

"What parent would name their kid Puddinghead?"

>Or Lyrical, Clover, Bon-Voyage, Diamond, Platinum...

>"Ugh... Nutjob named herself it, no pony knows her real name."

"So, why don't you live with the unicorns in their luxury?"

>"My mother and sister are Earth ponies, so I'm only a 'half-unicorn' to most them. Hence the name 'Half-Blooded'."

"Huh... Does that really matter?"

>"To most of them it does. They don't keep me locked out like Earth Ponies, but they treat me like one otherwise."

"That sucks..."

>"Not really! Earth Ponies are nicer and more fun anyways! Just remember though, not all are bad, some are like me! And some are like Clover the Clever or Starswirl the Bearded!"

"Thats... Nice..."

>You barely register what she said, instead drifting back to sleep.

 

2:

>Your eyes crack open,

>facing right at the sun.

>You close your eyes immediately, and go to rub them.

>Huh, you cant move your arms, something furry is pinning them.

>You cafefully glance down to avoid the sun, and open your eyes.

>Lyrical is sleeping right on top of you, sprawled across your chest.

>Pretty adorable, but not enough not to throw her off.

>You get up, her falling off of you into a pile of snow.

>"Ah! Pegasus!"

>"... what?"

"Town's not smoking, lets go."

>She plops her head into the snow and shuts her eyes.

>"Ugh, let me sleep a little longer."

"You didn't let me sleep in."

>"You would have died."

>You pick her up and hang her over your shoulder.

"Don't care, we're going now."

>"Ugh..."

>You get moving, carrying the sleepy pony across the snowy hills back to town.

 

>You walk through the town gate.

>Well, where it was.

>There's a few ponies to and fro, searching the ruins of various destroyed homes.

>Whether they're collecting their belongings or looting, you don't know.

>You place Lyrical on the ground and she takes the lead, heading god knows where.

>Following her through groups of ponies uprooting you walk through the town.

>There's still a few houses and the inn standing, but most ponies will probably have to leave.

"Where will they go?"

>The answer comes from behind you.

>"Rathburg for the most part.

>You turn around, and see the pony talking to you was Bon-Voyage.

>Lyrical see's her, and instantly becomes giddy again.

>"Hello Bon-Bon!"

>"Hello Lyra. Glad to see you and your pet are alive."

>"He's not my pet."

>Bon-Voyage gets a grin.

>"Oh Harminos! Please tell me my sister hasn't become a beast-fucker!"

>"Oh please, hes cute, but not in that way."

"...I'm not cute..."

>Lyrical hops onto your back, and starts tugging at your face with her hooves.

>...How does she do that?

>"Yes you are! Just look at those wittle cheeks!"

>Oh God...

>You are her pet...

 

>"So, anything we can do to help?"

>"Actually yes, I need you to send word of the attack to Drigur."

"Why?"

>"...Because we kind of were attacked by an enemy nation? You sure he's not a yeti? He's about as bright as one..."

"WHAT I MEAN IS, Why us? Shouldn't a military messenger or whatever you use deliver the message?"

>"I am their messenger..."

"I thought you were a bard?"

>"Well yes!... But music doesn't put food on your plate here."

"Speaking of food..."

>"Let's go find the cart then."

 

>You kick the wheel, and it breaks into blackened pieces with ease.

"Shame..."

>"Yah..."

>"Oh well. I remember everything well enough."

"Remember what?"

>"My songs!"

"But what about everything else?"

"Pfft, I can replace it eventually."

>Your stomach growls.

"And the food?"

>"Oh please,we ate yesterday. You act like you've never gone a day without eating."

"Well..."

>"Really?!"

"I guess not."

>"Harminos, that sounds nice!"

"Depends on your version of nice..."

>"A belly full of food and mead, with a nice song to play!"

>You shrug.

"Guess it was nice then."

 

>"So, shall we go?"

"After you!"

>You both leave the debris of the cart, heading through the emptying town towards the gate.

>You both walk in silence, but after you get a fair distance from town you decide to ask Lyrical something.

"So..."

>"Hmm?"

"Why did you help me?"

>"What do you mean?"

"Like your sister said, I look like a Yeti evidently, I could have been dangerous, and yet you lead me to town instead of running away."

>"Because you said you needed help, and I always like to help somepony in need!"

>"Besides, like I said before, you're absolutely adorable!"

>She hops on your back again,

>And knocks you face first into the ground.

 

>The ground is frozen, and you hit it hard.

"Ouch..."

>"Heh... sorry!"

"It hurts..."

>"Do you smell something?"

"Just... bloody dirt..."

>"I think I smell smoke!"

"From the town maybe?"

>"Nope, we're too far from both. We should check it out!"

"Why?"

>"It'll be fun!"

"What would be fun about it though?"

>"Just come on!"

>You pull yourself up off the ground, and follow Lyrical up the hill,

>And see a large camp coated in red and black banners.

 

>This can't be good.

"What is that?"

>"Pegasi camp."

"What are they doing here?"

>"Invading, it looks like."

>You look around the camp.

>Sure enough, theres pegasi going between various tents.

>Towards the middle is a ornate tent with black, red, and gold coloring.

>The tent opens, and a pegasus walks out wearing ornate black armor with... is that rainbow hair?

"Who's that?"

>"Commander Hurricane, one of three commanders in their army."

>You continue to look around the camp.

>"We should hurry and warn Drigur."

"I have a better idea."

>"What is it?"

>You point to a tent that a pony is pushing a cannon into.

"We wait till night when they sleep, sneak in, and set off the gunpowder they have by Hurricane's tent."

>"Will that work?"

"Of course! I saw it in a movie!"

>"Whats a movie?"

 

>Careful not to make too much noise, you and Lyrical sneak into the camp.

>Slowly, you both pass through the camp towards where you saw the cannon.

>You peek in tent's along the way, just incase there's a kitchen to loot.

>You find nothing.

>You eventually make your way to the side of the tent, and peek around the corner.

>One guard, looking the other way.

>You turn to Lyrical. [spoiler][/spoiler]"I'll handle this."

>She nods in response, and you tiptoe up to him.

>Creeping your way up, you almost reach him when,

-growl-

>"Wha?"

>Stupid stomach, you be quiet!

-growl-

>You hold his mouth shut, and put the knife to his throat.

>Just one movement, and he's done...

>You press the knife harder...

>And ease up.

>You can't do it.

>You put him into a choke hold till he slips into unconsciousness, and enter the tent.

 

>Searching through the tent, you and Lyrical find about seven small barrels of gun powder.

>And FOOD! LOVELY FOOD!

>Most of it's horse food, but you find some apples.

>You take off your shirt, and using it as a make shift bag take as many apples as you can carry.

>Searching further, you also find several fuses.

>You pocket a fuse, and grab a barrel.

>Trying to lift it, you quickly deduct that it is heavy as fuck, and not going anywhere.

>As you turn it on it's side and begin to roll it, Lyrica skips past you with 6 barrels in her grip.

>Fucking magic.

 

>You both make it to Hurricane's tent, then pop open the barrel you rolled.

>And it's filled with water, not gunpowder.

>Maybe you should have checked it before you dragged it over here.

>Lyrical places the barrels besides yours, and pops one open for you.

>You place the fuse, hopefully correctly, and set light to it.

>Then, you both run the fuck out of there.

>You don't care who you wake in your sprint, and you can hear ponies waking as you pass.

>As both of you near the edge of the camp, you hear a loud bang in the background.

>Mission accomplished!

>You and Lyrical continue your dash, and make your way out of camp.

>Looking behind and seeing no pegasi giving chase, you plop your ass down and watch as flames begin to spread from the site of the explosion.

>Kind of pretty.