Newman's Revenge [WinnieXAnon]

>its nightmare night

>your doorbell rings

uhoh better get the candy

>opening the door you hear a chorus of small horses singing in unison

NIGHTMARE NIGHT! WHAT A FRIGHT! GIVE ME SOMETHING SWEET TO BITE!

>Christ you were running low on candy...better make it last

one for the vampire, one for the firemare, one for the ninja, and one for the...Newman's Own Ranch Style dressing?

It was either this or a costume representing Pendleton Ward's creativity

Oh well then I'm happy you chose the more interesting one, here you go little fill-

>Guess you miscalculated the whole candy situation a bit

Sorry missy looks like im all out of candy

>The filly eyes you.. Nothing but devious and sinful thoughts on her mind

But its nightmare night sir...

I am aware of that little lady but I have no more candy, now I can give you some pocket change or a travel size deodorant but I don't really have anything sweet for you to bite

>By now the filly's friends have moved on to the next house and only the small equine stands at your porch

>Her hungry gaze eyes you up and down

>You feel uncomfortable knowing you're wearing your Ralph-Lauren crotch-less briefs underneath your exercise pants

Actually...mister....You do have 'something' I want....and it's definitly something sweet

>The filly says, licking her warm lips

Uh erm ahh...I think I hear Quad City calling me!

>you quickly try to slam [spoiler]and welcome to the jam[/spoiler] the door, but the filly sticks the spout of her ranch dressing bottle costume into the door. Blocking your attempt at a virginity

Where ya going live wire, don't you wanna help me keep Nightmare Moon away?.... What would she think hmm? It's midnight and we aren't even playing

>her moan is almost as thick as the ranch she is dressed up to portray

AHhh I do-don't know ya know.. I gotta go um ahh--

>You knew what had to be done if you wanted to survive this night

POCKET SAND!!!

>You blast a pocket full of sand at the small horses, forcing her to back up just enough for you to close the door and quickly lock it

"Oh my god that was close..."

>Your breathing heavy now, but a sense of relief floods over you

"Thank you jesus I was almost a gonner--"

>Turning your head you look towards the window to your left and you see a silhouette of a ranch bottle

>All of a sudden the electricity goes out

"Oh shit"

>You hear a muffled moan

>NOPE NOPE NOPE

>Throwing caution to the wind, you run to the window in your living room

"Fuck this better work!"

>Using your arms to cover your face you jump through the window. Shards of glass fly every which way, your arms receiving most of the cuts from the breakaway

"See you in hell you over complicated browser!!"

>This idea was great, fucking genus dude, there's no way you could've fucked this up

>Opening your eyes.....yeah you realize you kinda fucked this up just a wee bit

>You live in a condo on the 31st floor

"No! Shit! Piss! Cocksucker! Motherfucker! Tits!"

>Whelp this was it Anon, you had a good run, besides everyone has to die eventually

>You look towards the sky one last time...Wait a second...That shadow in the night?

>It was Princess Luna!!!

"I've got you fair villager!"

>Swooping in, she catches you just before you hit the ground, saving you from becoming the star of a 7/10 video on bestgore

"Are you alright!"

"I am now! Thank you so much Princess I'm forever in your debt!"

"No need for such chivalry my dear sir! As your princess it is my duty t--"

>Almost immediately the princess of the night stops flying and lands on a cloud

>She has her head turned right towards you

>And she looks mad as hell

"My princess what's wrong?! What are you looking at----"

>And then it hit you

>You were almost completely naked

>Nothing but balls and boots man

>When you bust through the window, the glass must have torn up and ripped off your shitty rags you called clothes

>And now you had a half chubby Johnsonville bratwurst laying right on the Princesses bare back

>And that was not kosher with her

"So...This was all an elaborate ruse was it not!!? I will make an example of you!"

>A bright light begins to envelop you. And before you have time to protest you immediately shut your eyes as a bright light flashes around you

>Oh for fucks sake

>The bitch sent you to the thermosphere

>Shit no oxygen! no...wait you're alright. She must have given you the ability to withstand the extreme temperature and lack of breathable air. Fuck thank god she's at least merciful.....Somewhat

>Well this was some night wasn't it Anon? You gave candy to some kids, you got hit on by an underage web browser, you almost hotdogged Princess Luna, and you got sent to space...Overall pretty good for a Friday night

>Turning your head you find that you are only a few hundred meters from the....Holy shit it's the god damn IHS!!! The International Horse Station!!!

>Hey if you could get over there maybe they'd have some food to spare! And hell! Maybe they had a TV and the complete third season of Fraiser on dvd!

>Having a basic knowledge of physics, you remove your boots and, while facing away from the station, you toss them, propelling yourself slowly towards the IHS

>It's all gonna work now, everything's coming up Anon

...

>Then you saw it

>No..

>NO

>IT COULDN'T BE!!!!!

>Floating straight towards you

>Was a horse inside a big bottle of Newman's Own ranch

>My...GOD

>This doesn't even make sense?!? How the hell did this tiny horse get her ass all the way out here!!?

>Shit! What do I do!!

>...

>THE IHS!! THEY CAN HELP ME!!

>Turning to face your floating nirvana, you start yelling for help, praying to god that the astronauts and space horses heed your plea and lend you a hand

>This yelling goes on for minutes. Precious minutes which you can't really afford to lose too. That pint size sex machine is getting closer and closer every minute

>You could practically feel the heat radiating from her Pre-K grade loins

>But those fucking queers aren't doing jack shit!

>I mean you knew Space Cowboys was a popular movie..But you didn't think that would cause an influx of deaf, senile Astronauts with AARP cards

>Then it hit you..

>No. One. Can. Hear. You. Scream. In. Space.

>.........dang

>You didn't even have time to turn around and see how much closer the browser pone was..

>The little horn dog was already closing in for insertion

>Her destination?...Your hairy asshole

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

>See, majoring in pottery and getting a minor in Hebraic studies, you've done your share of kooky and cuh-rayzee things as a young a adult

>But getting a rimjob in space by an underage horse....

>Ehhh. I mean I guess you can at least scratch it off your bucket list. Not that it really was there to begin with

>With your butt cheeks spread wide for not only the IHS to see, but the entire planet as well, you couldn't help but let a single tear fall each time you felt a warm lick navigate your own personal black hole

>Oh god this feels fucking weird, how can anyone get off to this

>Your face kept contorting as the licking became sloppier

>Jesus. You can't help but get the feeling that her rim job is kinda like getting sexually assaulted by a faulty Korean made bidet

>Turning your head you see a strange sight, a lone astronaut from the IHS is watching. Everything. With their mouth wide open

>Just when you think you couldn't take it any longer, the invasion of your bunker suddenly stops

>Your sigh of relief is cut short however...

>Floating through space circling the planet at thousands of kilometers an hour...The Ranch bottle has only just begun to play

>Using your arm as leverage, the tiny pony maneuvers herself so that shes now in front of you top side down

>A prime location for a zero-g blowjob

>Might as well strike that from your bucket list too

>Your pants drop as the filly yanks them down ever farther

>So vicious is her attack, that, try as you might, your pants fall from your legs. Drifting off into the frozen abyss of space

>MY RELAXED FIT COLLECTION FOR MEN!!!!!! OLD NAVY ONLY MADE TWENTY OF THEM!!!!!!!

>But come on dude..Remember?

>No. One. Can. Hear. You. Scream. In. Space.

>You let out a sharp breath as you feel the browser pony's lips wrap around your member

>Which..Shamefully.. Became a throbbing diamond after the masterfully done rim job

>Thinking back, not even Scotty Pippins was that good at the rim

>Each descent her warm tongue made on manhood sent a shiver down each side of your body

>Feeling you squirm, she takes pleasure in knowing that you are enjoying this much more than you are willing to admit

>She gurgles, sending vibrations up and down your shaft

>You involuntarily grasp her ranch costume

>Eyes shooting open as your breathing begins to race

>What the? The hell?

>You look towards the IHS

>Every available window on the station is crowded with eyes, every single one with an open mouth attached to it

>Please....Help me..

>Your arm stretched out, a pleading expression on your face

>Pleease....Help...ME!!!!!

>Fucking retard

>No. One. Can. Hear. You. Scream. In. Space.

>dumbass

>Carefully, you lower your head to see if the small pony is showing any signs of stopping

>She isn't

>In fact, her head was bobbing up and down so violently that the equine had her eyes shut tight

>Droplets of saliva floating all around your crotch

>The pressure at this point was...to put it lightly

>Incredible

>You could practically feel your semen all lining up at your tip, and your scrotum felt as if there was a 20lb. dumb bell hanging from it

>This puppy was ready to fire..And god help the poor unfortunate soul who stood within firing range

>Blood rising, muscles clenching, your mind goes completely blank

>You can't feel anything other than a tingling enveloping your body and a pain surrounding your schlong

>Her small, warm tongue grasps you one last time as she raises her head. The wet flesh tugging you for all you got

>This was it...Christ this was it

>With your teeth gritting, you look down one last time at the frisky little filly that turned your night completely upside down

>Opening her eyes slightly, she looks towards you

>And she gives you the cutest wink a tiny horse in a Newman's Own Ranch Style Dressing costume can give a man in space

>Annnnnnd that's when you blew your load

>Grrrrahh! Ahhhggg!!!!!!! SSSSENSATIONAL!!!!

>Your load, though a meager 5ml, explodes with such a force that both you and winnie get propelled in opposite directions

>One with a look of victory

>The other with shame

>All the faces on the IHS just look at you

>They couldn't see what was happening

>They couldn't, feel your shame

>And they couldn't hear your scream

>Because....

 

[spoiler]They were listening to Quad City[/spoiler]