Title: [01:30] BEHOLD, CHILDREN [01:30] THE FIRST DRAFT OF OUR L Author: I_wesley125 Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/vb34iTbF First Edit: Wednesday 9th of October 2013 08:38:27 PM CDT Last Edit: Wednesday 9th of October 2013 08:38:27 PM CDT [01:30] BEHOLD, CHILDREN [01:30] THE FIRST DRAFT OF OUR LORD UBER'S TEN COMMANDMENTS [01:30] EAT YOUR HEART OUT JADEN, THIS PLACE WORSHIPS A NEW GODDDDDDD [01:30] 1. He is Uber, your god, who brought you into the land of tulpa, and into the house of schizo [01:30] 2. You shall have no other furry god/goddess before Melissa [01:30] 3. You shall not make for yourself a tulpa, or any likeness of Melissa that is in our god Uber’s mind. You shall not make your own Melissa tulpa, for Uber the LORD your god is a jealous god, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate and disobey me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. [01:30] 4. You shall not take the name of Uber your god in vain-- because he’s your god and just calling him “Uber” all casual-like is uncool. IF THOU wishes to address him in a conversational manner, you shall do so by the title of “Lord Uber” [01:30] 5. Remember the Headfuck day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a tribute to Uber your god. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord Uber made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and on the seventh day ripped off [01:30]  his tulpa Melissa’s head and fucked it in the throat. Therefore the Lord blessed the Headfuck day and made it holy. He also came inside. [01:30] 6. Honor your Lord Uber, and only your Lord Uber, everyone else can suck a dick. Honor anyone else and you get your head torn off and stuck on a pike. [01:30] 7. You shall only commit murder on Headfuck day, and then only by decapitative sex [01:31] 8. You shall only commit adultery in the form of oral sex [01:31] 9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, ox, servants, or any of his shit unless you beat him in a dickfight to the death first [01:31] 10. We had extra space on the slab, so filler.