Along Came a Derpy

By: I_Dream_In_Infrared on Feb 21st, 2014 | syntax: None | size: 50.30 KB | hits: 154 | expires: Never

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>You are Anon
>It's your first day in Canterlot High, having just moved here from upstate.
>Your family moved here for work a week ago, and you've been dreading your first day of school since then
>You've never been the most popular kid, and you've taken your fair share of beatings. you have a feeling you'll have to face the same shit here
>First thing you notice, this place has got some weird horse motif going on
>You take a look at a poster by the entrance as you walk in.
>It says "Fall Formal Dance"
>Looks like it's only a few months from now
>You've always wondered what it would be like to go to one, slowly swaying to the time of the music, a pretty girl in your arms, feeling her warmth...
>But instead, you've stayed at home and shitposted on 4chan. Your social skills aren't exactly amazing, and you've never had the nerve to ask a girl to one
>You reach your locker, dumping your stuff in as you get ready for your first class
>A crashing noise and light sobbing draws your attention
>Behind you, a small mob has formed around a girl curled up on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks.
>"That'll teach you to talk back to me, you fucking retard!"
Some crazy bitch with ketchup hair and a leather jacket is standing over her, with a smug look of superiority
>Everybody else is trying not to look, pretending like they have someplace to be
>Either this girl is legit psycho, or everyone else are just pussies
>You step up to her and her small posse
"What's going on here?"
>You seem to have more balls than common sense, the gang turns to face you
>"What the fuck did you just say?" seems you angered the kooky bitch
>oops
>"Are you new or something? I just happen to run things here, so you better watch yourself, you scrawny bastard"
>dis fuckin bitch right here
"Is that right? what could this girl have possibly done to deserve this?"
>"None of your fucking business!"
>She shoves you back, you feel your back hit the lockers. damn this girl got strength. she swings her fist at you
>Panic mode
>You duck and you hear a crunch when her fist connects with the locker
>You hear a scream
>Sounds like she just broke her wrist
>"Oh, you're going to regret this!" she says, choking back tears and staggering towards the nurses office, presumably.
>What is she, some cartoon villain?
>Dead silence. all eyes focused on you.
>Some short fat kid and a creepy lanky guy give you a look, then tag along after the psycho bitch.
>Everybody just moves along, pretending that nothing happened whatsoever
>But nobody bothers to help the poor girl up
>You move over to her, and offer her your hand
"Hey, you alright?"
>She looks up at you and smiles. god, it's such a pretty smile
>"S-sure"
>She takes your hand, and you lift her up
"I hope they didn't hurt you too bad"
>You don't know where this sudden burst of confidence came from, at your old school you just got used to taking abuse like a bitch
>But now you've pushed back, and you realize you've probably made life at this school a lot harder for yourself.
>But looking at her, you know it was worth it
>That long golden hair
>Those legs
>Her eyes...
>Are pointing in completely different directions. huh.
>Now, you find your eyes are drawn to the noticeable curvature of her breasts, concealed under her blue top...
>Goddamn it Anon don't stare at her fucking tits like that
>Damage Control
"H-hey, I really like that necktie!"
>Yeah, that's the ticket!
>She blushes a deep red. oh god, she can't stop being cute even if she tried
>"Nobody really gives me complements around here..."
"What? really? a pretty girl like you?"
>Did you really say that? Ruh-roh shaggy. how is she going to take that?
>well, now she's positively beaming
>"You...do you really mean that?"
>Hell yes you fucking do
"Of course I do"
>Before you know, she's hugging you so tightly, your ribs might collapse
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>"Thank you! nobody has ever been nice to me before...and nobody has ever stood up for me before..."
>Damn. you thought you lived a pretty lonely life, but for her to react like this, she must have gone through some serious shit
>You slowly remove her arms to allow air to enter your lungs again
"So...what's your name?"
>"...I'm Derpy"
>Huh. what a weird name. but then again, at this school you'll hear ones that are even weirder
>She's staring at your feet, trying to draw attention away from her eyes. she probably has to do that alot.
>"What's yours?"
"Anon"
>"Huh. what a weird name"
>srsly?
"So, what was all that was about?"
>The happiness drains from her face
>"Well..."
>Derpy tells you about that girl, Sunset Shimmer (told you, names get fucking weird here) and how she controls the school through fear.
>Seems like she's able to bend people to her will with ease, apparently through a combination of blackmail and violence. Derpy says how she's been forced to do Sunsets homework for ages now.
>That bitch is really starting to make your blood boil.
>Today Derpy forgot to do it. too busy, she says. Shimmer apparently doesn't like excuses
>So Shimmer is serious business round here. Guess you got yourself into some real shit now. But now is as good a time as any to nut up and fight back against abusive cunts like her for once in your life
>Derpy is starting to tear up again. you gently brush away the tears
"Hey, cheer up. you'll be fine, don't worry"
>"I'm not so sure about that, Anon..."
>You glance at the clock. shit, you're about to be late to your first class
"Hey, I gotta get to class...I'd like it if we talked more"
>"You mean it?"
"Of course!"
>You turn to leave, but you feel her tap your arm
>"A..Anon? can we be friends?"
"We already ARE friends!"
>Her smile returns, stronger than ever
>First class of the day, and you are already bored out of your mind
>You listen half-heartedly to the teacher, while doodling in your notebook
>English class is always a bore
>It's not like you don't like reading, it's just the stuff they make you read doesn't really grab your attention
>You take a look at the clock, and you swear it's moving at half normal speed
>And that's when you see her
>Sunset is sitting at the front of the class, her hand bandaged up
>She's staring daggers at you, but she has this creepy smile on her face
>You know she's got some shit planned for you
>Bring it on, bitch
>"Hey"
>You take a look at the guy sitting next to you. immediately you think "lol sanic"
>"My name's Flash"
"Hi, I'm Anon"
>"So, I noticed you had an...incident with Sunset Shimmer"
"...Yeah?"
>"I used to date her, y'know? and let me tell you, it's a good idea to stay out of her way"
"Who the fuck would willingly go out with her?"
>Oops. probably shouldn't have said that out loud. hope you didn't piss him off too much.
>"I've asked myself that a lot recently. she started off so nice, y'know? but then slowly, she started acting out, getting real aggressive. and I just went along with it"
>"It feels good to be in control. to have people obey you. I guess that's why I stayed with her for so long. Even when she got real twisted. But then I woke up one morning, and realized I could never live with myself if I kept on hurting people"
>"So I left her. but I can never stand up to her. she knows too much about me. stuff that could ruin me if it became public"
>You figure Flash must have been doing some serious shit seeing him this scared of her.
>You assume it's not something you should press him for details on, so you leave the subject alone
>The class proceeds normally enough, thankfully Sunset has stopped staring at you so you can somewhat focus on your work
>Bell rings, time to get the fuck out of here. Bring on the next class
>You encounter Shimmers two fuck ugly henchmen on the way to your next class.
>They just snicker to themselves as they brush past you, probably on their way to punch a kitten or something
>You step into the next classroom, eager for [Insert your favorite subject here]
>Oh boy, you really like [Insert your favorite subject here]
>You sit down and pull out your books
>Then something blocks your vision. Those heavenly curves...
>Damn it Anon stop staring, you look up quickly
>"Hi Anon! I didn't know we share this class!"
>Derpy sits down next to you
>"You don't mind if we sit together for this class?"
"No, I'd love it!"
>You spend the class talking to each other in hushed tones, lest the teacher hears you
>This subject isn't her strong suite, so you help her out whenever you can.
>She seems to really open up to you. when you first met her you could tell she was the kind of person who would spend their time in a shell, avoiding human contact because they've been burned one too many times before
>Just like you used to be. until you met her. You knew that feel all too well
>Bell rings, class ends.
>You and Derpy pack your things. you take a deep breath, then you turn to her
"Hey, if it's no problem...you wanna hang out sometime? I mean, if you don't mind..."
>[Spaghetti Intensifies]
>"Oh, I'd love to, Anon!"
>thank fuck for that
>Your first day has ended
>Safe to say it was quite eventful
>You start to walk home, when you hear Derpy call for you
>"Hey, Anon!"
>You turn as she runs up to you
>She looks pretty nervous
>"You asked if we could hang out more, s-so I was thinking..."
>Seems it's her turn to spaghetti now
>"You...wanna come over tomorrow?"
>Oh shit, go to a girls house?
>"I mean...I've got video games and stuff, i-if you're into that..."
>Of course you fucking are
"...Yeah, I'd love to!"
>"Great! I gotta go fast now, I have some things I need to do..."
>She didn't sound too happy about that.
"..You okay?"
>"Yeah, Anon don't worry about it"
>Well, if you say so. you both say your goodbyes and you head off home
>It's only a short walk, and you're there in no time
>You start to fish the front door key out of your pocket before you notice something
>The door is slightly open.
>Your parents are almost never around. Too busy working, flying around the country doing fuck knows what. so who the hell is in here?
>You slowly step inside, you can't help but feel a little nervous
>Dead silence
>Nobody down here, so you creep upstairs
>You hear something in your room
>You peer through the door
>It's those two creepy lackeys that hang with Shimmer
>They've completely ransacked your room, everything has been thrown about
>They must have been ordered to look for some shit to blackmail you with
>Thankfully, you haven't exactly led an eventful life.
>Well, there was that weird thing you masturbated to a while back...
>But you're not some plebeian, you wipe your browsing history often, hide behind 7 proxies, the lot
>Right now, they're at your computer, presumably trying to guess your password
>"C'mon Snips, let's just take the hard-drive and go!"
>"Shut up Snails, I got this!"
>Snips? Snails? Seriously? what's with all these stupid names? Must be something in the water
>"Oh, Shimmer is gonna be so mad...."
>"What are we gonna tell her? This is the first time we've found a locked computer!"
>Of course you password-protect your computer. You're not a casual. The drives are encrypted too. don't want the NSA looking at your shit.
>Schools should really teach some proper IT classes, like "How not to be a fucking idiot and keep your shit safe"
>Gotta give these idiots credit though, they know how to work a lockpick at least.
>so now, the extent of Sunset Shimmers bitchiness becomes fully clear to you
>If she is willing to stoop to home invasion in order to steal peoples secrets, to blackmail them, control them, something has to be done.
>These filthy casuals break into YOUR house? and defile YOUR battlestation?
>Time to make a statement
>You kick the door open, they shriek in panic.
>[The object to your left is what you use to beat them with]
>You clutch the object tight as you deliver the first blow to Snips. he goes down crying
"You tell that bitch, that she has unleashed the fucking fury!"
>You swing again, striking Snails on the nose
"You tell her, that I'm not going to just roll over and be her bitch!"
>Another swing, this time to the stomach of Snails
>He goes down hard, you kneel down and whisper
"And if any of you lays a hand on Derpy, you better start running, 'cos I WILL hurt you hard"
>You're full of bravado now. You're not used to it, but you fucking love it
>From now on, no more mr. nice guy
>Wait, where's Snips?
>You feel a blow to the back of your head.
>You collapse, and they start giving you several good kicks in the ribs
>This actually really hurts
>"C'mon Snails, let's bail!"
>They both run off, and you hear the front door slam hard
>You get to your knees, and sit yourself down in front of your computer chair
>You can feel blood run down your head
>Any normal person would get the cops involved. but this shit just got personal
>You open up your browser and aimlessly browse the internet like you always do.
>You draw together a plan in your head, how are you going to handle this?
>But your thoughts keep drifting to Derpy. such a beautiful girl. such a nice girl, and she's mercilessly tormented for what? her eyes?
>Fuckers
>Right now, all you want to do is be there for her. not because you want to be her white knight in the vain attempt that she will feel she owes you pussy
>But because you've never ever felt this way about a person. Nobody has ever made you feel this good.
>You've only known her for a day, but she feels like an actual friend.
>Day 2 at new school.
>Go to your locker, get some stuff, put some stuff away.
>A hand grabs you, spins you around.
>It's the she-bitch
>"Listen here new guy, I don't know who you think you are, but I have a long memory, don't think this won't come back to bite you"
>You smile
"Is that so?"
>"So I don't have anything on you, sure. but I have many methods. don't think I won't come for her either..."
>Now you mad
>Grab her by the hair
"Don't you fucking dare"
>She breaks free of your grasp
>"Just you watch me"
>She walks off, chuckling under her breath.
>You turn and see Derpy. she looks concerned.
>"Anon! please, you don't need to do this, just because of me!"
"Friends look out for each other, right?"
>A pause, then she smiles.
>Turns out, you two share most of your classes together. you're near inseparable.
>Also turns out you share a lot in common. same games, same music. she even loves that show you also really love
>School ends, outside the school gates she grabs your hand and leads you off
>"You still wanna come over, right?"
"Of course!"
>Everybody else is giving you funny looks, but you don't care
>You have a friend now
>She leads you inside her house
>It's a nice enough house, a bit small, nothing fancy, but very cosy
>Very clean too
>You notice a few empty beer bottles on the kitchen table
>You doubt those are Derpy's
>"My rooms up here"
>She tugs your hand, leading you upstairs
>Oh god, you're going into a girls room?
>Okay Anon, just play it cool....
>You step inside.....and holy shit.....
>This place looks like something out of a cyberpunk movie
>You thought you were into computers, but this takes the cake
>Spare parts, heatsinks, hard drives, they litter her computer desk along with books, spare pieces of paper....
>You take a look at a book you almost tripped over
>It says "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs"
>she must regularly lurk /g/
>"I'm sorry, I should've cleaned up a little more..."
>You see her kick a bra under her bed, her cheeks red
"It's no problem, my room is pretty messy too..."
>Yeah, thanks to those two creeps
>Awkward silence. quick, think of something to say
"So, you like computers, huh?"
>She gives off a nervous laugh
>"Yeah...They've always fascinated me, y'know? I've never really had friends before, so I've had a lot of spare time to use"
>"A lot of spare time..."
>She looks down at her feet, as if she's about to cry. then she takes a deep breath, and looks at you smiling
>"So, wanna play a game?"
>Hours fly by as you burn through a multitude of games
>You order pizza, watch some shitty movies on TV
>Before you know it, it's 12PM. you still have school tomorrow, but right now that's the furthest thing from your mind
>You both talk about life before Canterlot High. You've both had to deal with a lot of shit at your previous schools.
>But you can tell Derpy seems to be deliberately omitting something
"Hey, I can't help but notice that it's almost 1AM, and your parents aren't here..."
>Derpy's mood visibly drops
>Guess you figured out what she didn't want to talk about
>"Oh, they're just out right now..."
>Guess her parents are as absent as yours
>Another awkward pause. this time Derpy breaks the silence
>"Hey, can I show you something?"
>She moves over to the computer and opens up a flash animation she has been working on
>It's a dancing muffin
>Goddamnit that's cute
>She's smiling ear from ear, she can tell you like it
>"You really like it? I've been working on it for a few weeks now"
"You ever thought about putting it online? I bet people would love this!"
>"Yeah...but what if all I get is mean comments? I'm not good at handling that kind of stuff, it just eats away at me..."
>She closes the file
>"I just don't think I'm ready for that yet. maybe later"
>She takes a glance at the clock
>"Oh, Anon, it's so late! and we have school in the morning!"
>Oh yeah, shit. Now what?
"Umm....is it okay if I sleep on the sofa or something?"
>"Oh..sure, it should be..."
>Suddenly you hear the front door open
>Derpy looks visibly distressed
>You hear the door slam, and the hammering of feet coming up the stairs
>You can see tears running down her cheek out of the corner of your eye
>Door opens
>Tall, thin woman staring you down. those empty beer bottles must belong to her. Certainly looks like a drinker
>"Who the fuck is this?!"
>Despite her figure, she has a presence that you can't help but be intimidated by
>Derpy can't bring herself to look her in the eye
>"He's my friend, Momma...."
>"Bullshit, nobody is fucking friends with you"
>She's right in your face now
>Panic sets in
"H-hello ma'am, my name is A-anon..."
>"What, can't speak properly? are you a retard too?"
>So on top of the constant bullying, she has to deal with an abusive mother too. great.
>"Please, momma, I didn't think you would be home yet..."
>"Shut up!"
>She slaps her across the face.
>"I have enough problems dealing with you, I'm not going to put up with you bringing home more retards too!"
>You can hear Derpy crying
>"Shut the fuck up!"
>You've got to do something, but what?
>The woman turns to you
>"Now get the fuck out of here!"
"No"
>She's raging now
>"What the fuck did you say to me?"
"I'm not going to leave her alone with you"
>She takes a swing at you
>What's that in her hand?
>It's a bottle of booze
>It connects with your head
>You go down in a heap, and slip into unconsciousness
>Hello darkness, my old friend
>You hear the crowd screaming your name
>You're blazing down the field, weaving around the defencemen with ease
>They can't stop you now
>You take the kick
>The goalkeeper dives to catch it, but it's too late
>The ball has sailed into the top right corner, he never had a chance
>You hear the crowd roar
>Giddy up!
>Giddy up!
>Giddy up up!
>You pump your fist in the air as your team-mates mob you
>But slowly they melt away, and the roar of the crowd fades
>In it's place is a light sobbing
>A sobbing that grows in intensity
>And now you feel yourself being pulled into the earth
>You try to scream, but no sound leaves your mouth
>Your head goes under...
>And you're back in the room
>Your head is lying on her lap, and you can feel her tears on your face
>"I'm so sorry Anon...I wouldn't have invited you over if I knew she would be back so soon...sometimes she's gone for days at a time..."
>"She used to be nice, before she started drinking...and then last month daddy left..."
>You try to get to your feet, but Derpy pulls you up and helps you up onto her bed
>"I don't think you should be moving too much, you need rest..."
>Fuck that, you don't want to be in the same house as that abusive bitch
>You force yourself to your feet. you feel a bit dizzy, but you think you can manage
>"Anon, please! you might hurt yourself!"
"Sorry, but I don't want to be anywhere near that woman! and neither should you, for that matter!"
>A thought pops into your head
"...Hey, you wanna come with? I got a comfy bed at my place, I can manage on the couch"
>Derpy packs some clothes and you both leave through her window
>Don't want to deal with her mother
>You slowly walk to your place. Derpy is helping to keep you up, so you don't faceplant on the sidewalk
>You fumble for your key, and both of you step inside
>"This is a very nice place, Anon!"
>Whatever it is your parents do, they make decent money off it
>You aren't megabucks rich, but you're doing fine
>You notice a note on the kitchen table. Your parents stopped in while you were at school, and at Derpys place. but they've gone again already
>Business trip, will take several days. Food in the fridge, grocery money in the drawer under sink.
>Thanks Mom and Dad
>You wonder if they really have business trips, or they just go off and have fun, purposefully staying away from you
>Aw, who gives a fuck?
"Hey, you want a drink or anything? a snack?"
>"Oh no, I'm fine"
>You get a can of coke from the fridge and chug it down
>You lead her upstairs to your room. she immediately makes a beeline to your computer
>"Hey, this is a pretty decent setup you got here. what GPU are you running in this thing?"
>This girl ain't no casual
"Hey, Derpy...we should probably get some sleep, school starts soon"
>She yawns in agreement
>"You have a point..."
"You can take the bed. I'll take the sofa downstairs"
>"Oh no, it's okay, you can take the bed"
"No please, I insist"
>"Are you sure?"
>Well, perhaps we can share the bed....no, better not suggest that. you've only known her a few days, don't wanna come off as a creep
"I insist"
>You grab a few pillows and a blanket, you both say your goodnights and you fall asleep instantly on the sofa
>Fast forward several weeks. you and Derpy are closer than ever.
>You haven't summoned the courage to ask her out yet, but you know you really want to take this to the next level
>Everybody is getting hyped up for the Fall Formal
>Today is the day, you tell yourself. you'll ask her to the dance.
>Enter school, head to your locker
>You don't know what, but you feel something is wrong
>Shimmer has kept quiet, oddly enough. You figure she couldn't bend you to her will, so she decided to leave you alone
>But you start to hear people talking about Derpy in hushed tones
>Now you realize, maybe she decided to lull you into a false sense of security, then strike when you least expect it
>And you haven't seen Derpy at all today. you've been meeting up at a local cafe lately, walking to school together. but today she wasn't there
>You climbed up to her window, and she wasn't home either
>You just thought, maybe she went to school early. But something more sinister must be going on
>"So, Anon, how are things today?"
>It's Sunset Shimmer. you can hear the smugness in her voice
"Alright bitchtits, what's going on?"
>"Oh, haven't you heard?"
>This can't be good
>"Everybody knows now. how much of a little whore that retard is. how she slept around in junior high"
>You have had it up to here with this bitch
>You decide not to beat the ever-loving shit out her
>The payback must be much more devastating than that
"Where is she, Shimmer?"
>"Oh, she ran off crying somewhere, I don't give a fuck"
>"You know, I've known about it for ages. but I figure, you want to play rough, I'm perfectly willing to oblige. so I decided to let it slip. let this be a lesson to you"
>You desperately search the school for Derpy
>You've just about searched everywhere except the girls bathrooms
>Wait, the gym hall!
>You make your way over there
>You hear some douchebag talk about her loud enough for you to hear clearly
>Big mistake
>"What kind of desperate loser would fuck a girl like her anyway? I bet a "special needs" bitch like her would be a real easy lay!"
>Another douche chimes in
>"Yeah, all you gotta do is tell her to 'rub the purple eel to get the magic juice' and she'll suck it like her life depends on it!"
>You deliver a solid punch to the first cunts nose. then a swift kick to the leg of the other. they both fold like a cheap suit
"Listen here fuckwits" you yell at them "Derpy ain't no idiot, and any man would be lucky enough to be with a girl like her!"
>You give them a few more kicks
"Think about what you're saying. what it's doing to her. try not going along with the crowd, for once in your lives"
>The first guy opens his mouth, intending to let loose a no doubt very witty retort
>But you stare him down
>You deliver one last kick, and continue on your way
>They snicker as you walk away
>"Shimmer is gonna fuck you up so bad, bro!"
"Let her try"
>Now you enter the Gym Hall
>Up on the stage, behind the curtain, you can hear her cry
>You carefully approach Derpy
>She's sitting in the corner, hugging her knees
>Seeing her like this starts to choke you up, you've never before seen her this devastated
>You decide not to ask her what's wrong, seems a pretty stupid question at this point
>Instead you decide to kneel down next to her, and embrace her
>She looks up at you teary eyed
>"Please, just leave me alone..."
"We both know I'm not going to do that"
>"I know you've heard by now..."
"Yeah. And you know I don't give a shit about what these people say about you"
>"B-but it's true..."
>You pause. you certainly weren't expecting that
>"There was this guy....I thought he really cared about me! So I..."
>She takes a deep breath
>"But he just used me. Everybody tormented me mercilessly. I felt like killing myself...."
"Derpy, I'm so sorry. this is my fault, I should have never stood up to Sunset like this. she did this to get back at me. I should have never let her hurt you like this"
>"I-it's okay Anon. she was holding this above my head ever since I came here. she would have told everybody eventually..."
>You hold her close, just sitting there in silence. you're pretty sure she just fell asleep.
>You idly stroke her hair as she lightly snores
"Derpy?"
>She looks up at you smiling. she seems to be at peace now
"Will you go to the fall formal with me?"
>You're startled as she pushes herself away from you
>"Are you kidding me?! After all that's happened, you want me to face Shimmer and these people? Why would you want to do that to me?! so they can humiliate me again?"
"I admit, my reason is a little selfish..."
>"Oh, I bet!"
"I just want to be with you, Derpy"
>This stops her in her tracks
>"You....what do you mean?"
"I really like you Derpy. I want to be with you. I just want to make you happy"
>You push her chin up, so you are looking directly into her eyes
"After everything that's happened to you, you're still here. You're the strongest person I know, if anybody else was in your situation they would just buckle."
"Everyday, you still come to school. I can't count the amount of times I would hide in my room, crying under my blanket because I couldn't summon the
courage to go to school. I tanked quite a few classes"
>Derpy is teary-eyed now
>"You really mean it, Anon?"
"Every word"
>The tears are really coming now. You hope they're tears of joy
>You feel something running down your cheek. You've started crying too. this is a completely new feel you're experiencing
>You're so nervous your hands can't stop shaking. you go in for the kiss. you're not exactly experienced at this, but you stick the landing
>After what seems like an eternity, your lips part. Derpy gives a contented sigh
>"Consider it a date then, Anon!"
>You couldn't be happier
>But you have to do something about Shimmer
>Luckily you've developed a friendship with somebody who can help you out
>Time to call up your homeboy Flash
>The rest of the school day proceeds normally enough
>Derpy spent the rest of the day with a smile on her face
>Everybody seems shocked at how visibly happy the both of you are, especially her
>You pass by Sunset Shimmer at one point, and she was fuming
>She failed to break Derpy, and she was beyond pissed
>Several people even came up to Derpy to apologize during the day. took a while, but your thankful some people are treating her with some decency for once
>After school Derpy, Flash and yourself meet up in the local cafe. Derpy orders several muffins. you get a bottle of coke and immediately chug it down
>Flash just sits there, drumming his fingers against the table
>"Alright you two, I have a pretty good idea what you're up to. I'm all for taking down Shimmer as well but I hope you got a pretty good fuckin' plan"
"Pretty sure I do"
>You've been thinking about it for a while now. You start to lay it down
"Alright, so she's been collecting dirt on people for a while now, right? kind of stuff people would do pretty much anything to prevent becoming public"
"Now I know there is no way in hell a kooky bitch like her has nothing to hide"
"Unless this chick has fucking Sherlock permanent memory or something she has a collection of the shit she has on people. We simply need to find it, and destroy it"
"Remove her leverage. then give her a taste of her own medicine"
"Even if she is completely clean, removing that leverage will mean people don't have to bow down to her. run that bitch right outta town"
>They both look at you with a shocked expression
>"Nonny, are you suggesting...breaking into her house?"
>Did Derpy just call you Nonny? That's a pretty cute nickname actually
"Yeah, I guess I am. What she gonna do, call the cops? Her lackeys fingerprints are all over my shit, she wouldn't dare"
>Flash laughs, and pats you on the shoulder
>"Man I like you, you're one crazy motherfucker! when do we pull this off?"
"Tonight"
>You roll up to her place in Flash's sweet ride
>It's close to midnight
>This car is pretty fuckin' sweet, how does a high-school guy did something like this?
"Hey Flash, your parents must be pretty loaded if you got a car like this!"
>He suddenly looks uncomfortable
>"No, they aren't rich or anything...you know when I said Shimmer knew stuff about me that could destroy me?"
"...Yeah?"
>"Well....l used to sell some drugs during the summer. I really needed the cash, y'know? and I made a killing doing it"
>Haha oh wow, you weren't expecting that
>Derpy looks over at you, concerned
>All you can do is shrug
>Flash the drug-dealer certainly can claim the moral high ground over the she-bitch herself, amusingly enough
>"You know, if you ever want to get some primo weed, I could get you a discount. I know people"
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind, bro"
>He stops the car a short walk away from her place, don't want to be too conspicuous
"Alright....should be a walk in the park, right?"
>You fail to hide your nervousness, looking at the faces of your compatriots, neither can they. Derpy is slightly shaky
>"Yeah, sure Nonny....Can you run the plan by me one more time?"
"Okay, we know that guy from the football team is having a birthday party, and pretty much everyone except us is there"
"Now I know for certain Shimmer is there, probably getting plastered. Flash says she lives in a pretty high-class place, so I guess the worst case scenario is they got a maid there or something"
"So we sneak in through a window or something, get any documents, access her computer, then we bolt"
>This doesn't seem to comfort Derpy
>"You know Nonny, if you think about it this is kind of a stupid plan"
>Nobody has ever accused you of having an overabundance of intelligence
"Well, my original plan was to just kill her and dump her in a river, but I think this will be easier to get away with"
>Jump over the fence
"Alright, let's find a way in"
>You check all possible entrances.
>None of them are open, but you notice the front and back doors are rigged to a keypad system, most certainly connected to an expensive security system
>Flash tries an old code he knew when he still dated her. doesn't work
>Derpy doesn't know a way to bypass it
>But then for her, a lightbulb goes off
>"Hey, you can hear that sound right?"
>Yeah, a faint sound of vacuuming. guess there is a maid home
>"Hey Flash, you still remember the home phone number?"
>"Yeah, sure"
>He gives her the number, and she dials it in
>You only hear one side of the conversation
>"..Hello? yes, this is Mrs. Hackerson from Hyperdyne Industries, we installed your security system?"
>"Oh, you just work there? are the owners there?"
>"...Away on business? just you?"
>"Okay, well, we're just doing a security check, do you happen to remember the PIN number for the system there?"
>"...Okay, that checks out. your system seems secure. Okay, goodbye"
>She's grinning from ear to ear
>"Okay, the codes 45100, let's make our way through the back here"
>She punches in the code and slowly opens the door
>You take a closer look at the keypad
>It says "Manufactured by Hyperdyne Industries"
>The text was so small you couldn't even notice
>Clever girl
>She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek
>"Where would you be without me?"
>"Yo, hold up" Flash hands out some balaclavas "We don't want her seeing our faces if she finds us"
>You slowly creep inside
>Looks like the backdoor led into the kitchen.
>The lights are off, and you can hear the vacuuming stronger now
>It's coming from upstairs
>Shit, that's probably where her room is. How you gonna get up there without being spotted?
>It's your turn to get a bright idea
"Hey, Derpy, go back out and ring the front doorbell"
>"What?"
"Trust me, just ring the front doorbell, and keep the maid occupied"
>She seems to get where you're going with this, so she creeps back out
>You wait, then you hear the doorbell ring
>The vacuum turns off, and you see the maid head downstairs and to the door
>"Hello?" she asks as she opens the door to face Derpy, acting as innocent as she can
>"Hi! I'm lost, I was hoping you could give me directions..."
>Time to move
>As silent as possible, you and Flash creep across from the kitchen to the hallway, then up the stairs as quickly as you can
>Derpy notices you move behind the maid, but thankfully she doesn't let on
>Shit, there's a lot of rooms up here
>Derpy can't cover for you for long now, so you quickly pick one
>Shit, it's a bathroom
>You can hear the front door close
>Time to panic
>Close the door, move onto the next one
>Nope, this isn't it
>You can hear footsteps moving up the stairs
>Open the next door
>You lucked out, looks like hers
>You both quickly get in, and lock the door
>"Hey, check this out!" you hear Flash whisper
>He's pointing to a pretty big picture of Shimmer hanging above her bed
>"She really is an egotistical bitch, right?"
>There's more than one picture of her on the wall. she has a crown on most of them
>The absolute smugness of her expression in these photographs, as she poses with the crown she no doubt rigged into becoming hers, gives you even more motivation to wreck her shit
>You unlock the window and carefully slide it open
"Psst. Derpy!"
>She appears from behind the bushes and you help pull her into the room
>The vacuum clicks on again, and you hear it move past you to the other end of the hall
"Alright. let's get searching"
>You go through her shelves, under her bed
>Nothing of interest
>"Hey guys, what should we do with this?"
>Flash pulls out a dragon dildo
>You decide to keep it
>It will be good to humiliate shimmer with
>Also, you doubt she's gonna report it stolen. who would? it would be a tough one to explain
>Derpy is typing away on Sunsets laptop
>"Managed to guess her password. I figured it would be her name, or a variation of it. turns out it was just 'princess'"
>Are you really surprised at that?
>"It looks like she has a folder full of incriminating evidence on everyone. photos, court documents, all sorts of shit"
>Derpy turns to you
>"Should we wipe it now or later? I could install remote desktop connection software, so we can access it somewhere else"
"Nah, let's just take it"
>"Nonny, you serious? she's OBVIOUSLY going to notice it gone"
"Exactly. she won't know it was us that took it. and it'll give her something to think about until the dance"
"Besides, I want to take a closer look at what's in there"
>"Alright, can we leave now?" Flash has an obvious look of concern on his face
>And, you've just figured out why
>The vacuum has just shut off, and you hear footsteps approaching
>Shit
>You motion for them to escape through the window
>You unlock the door so to make sure nothing appears out of the ordinary, and quickly leap out the window
>Flash slides the window shut and you all make a dash to his car
>You attempt to lay back and relax on the ride home
>But you're still wired on adrenaline, your heart racing
>You still can't believe you actually broke into someone's house
>Flash drops you both off in front of your place
>Derpy loops her arm around yours
>"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight? My parents are still going over their divorce proceedings...I don't want to have to hear them screaming over their lawyers..."
"Of course it's okay, Derps"
>"Seriously, 'Derps'? That the best you can come up with?"
"Well, 'Nonny' isn't that imaginative either!"
>"Relax, I'm kidding ya. besides, I think it's quite cute"
>You thoroughly go over the laptop with Derpy
>You go through her chat logs, hoping to find something
>You read her chatting to her two creepy friends, ordering them to observe or intimidate people
>Nothing you don't already know about
>But you find one thing interesting
>She mentions something about a "surprise" at the Fall Formal
>She's intentionally vague, so you can't figure out anything about it from the logs
>You'll just have to keep your eyes out
>"Hey Nonny, it's pretty late, we should get some sleep"
>Yeah, that sounds pretty good right about now
>You grab a pillow and a blanket and head down to the sofa
>Derpy grabs your arm
>"Please, stay with me tonight?"
>Oh jesus wat
>Your heart is racing
>Does she mean, in the same bed?
>She pats an empty spot next to her
>"...Please?"
"Uhh....sure"
>You lay down next to her
>Well, this is a completely new experience for you
>She immediately wraps her arms around you and lays her head on your chest
>"Tommorow is Saturday, right?"
"Yep"
>"Fall Formal in a few days"
"...Uh-huh"
>"Got anything nice to wear"
"I think so..."
>"Good. I want you looking your best!"
"You got anything?"
>"Oh, I think I've got just the dress for the occasion..."
"...That's nice"
>A long pause
>You open your mouth to say something, but she's already snoring loudly
>Today is Fall Formal time
>After what feels like hours, you've managed to get your tie on properly
>Oddly enough, you feel pretty good wearing this tux. don't look half bad, either
>You go over everything in your head
>You know what must be done
>Everybody from the school will be there, which is perfect for your plan
>After you finally feel ready, you knock on your bathroom door
"Hey, you ready in there?"
>The door swings open, and there stands Derpy
>Damn, is she rockin' that dress
>She does a little twirl
>"So, what'cha think Nonny?"
>[Arousal Intensifies]
"You look amazing!"
>"Damn right I do! and don't you look just dapper in that suit!"
>You hear Flash's car pull up outside
>"Ooh, we gotta go! can't wait to show you off to everyone!"
>She dashes downstairs
>You grab a rucksack filled with the stolen goods from Shimmers place
>You take one last glance in the mirror
>It's amazing how good you look after you clean yourself up a little
>All the ladies love a sharp dressed man
>You join Derpy and you all drive down to the school
>"Hey Flash, you got a date tonight?"
>"Yeah, I met this girl recently"
>He smiles to himself as he thinks about her
>"She's got this wonderful smile...I love the way she laughs..."
>"Oh, and those lips of hers are fuckin' powerful, they could suck the chrome right off a trailer hitch"
>Derpy winces slightly
>"...That's sweet"
>The cars pulls up the school
>You hand the bag to Flash
"Remember, we do this after she gets crowned the Queen again. maximise the impact"
>You grab Derpy by the hand and lead her inside
"Have I ever mentioned how pretty your eyes are?"
>Music blaring, lights flashing
>You enter the hall with Derpy, hand in hand
>You get a few looks from the crowd
>None of them antagonistic
>They seem to be checking you out in amazement
>Well, probably more Derpy than you
>But you're not concerned
>You're just happy she's with you
>"Hey, let's dance!"
>She drags you to the center of the dance floor
>There, you both stand for a few seconds
>"...You know how to dance?"
"No. you?"
>"No"
"Well, I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually"
>You start to move your body to the music
>You look like an epileptic having a seizure, but it seems to be working
>Derpy giggles and joins in
>You start to enjoy yourself. maybe this partying stuff isn't so bad after all
>You notice Flash heading your way, with his date
>"Hey guys! I'd like you to meet my date? her name is..."
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie!"
>She seems really upbeat
>Like, just snorted a pound of cocaine upbeat
>You can see why he's dating her though
>You could lose a wallet in that cleavage
>"Ooh, Punch!"
>Pinkie starts heading towards the snack table, but she stops and turns suddenly
>"Oh, I almost forgot! Sunset Shimmer is scared that someone from the school might have broken into her house, so she's got Snips and Snails searching all the lockers, and shaking people down"
>"But don't worry, I won't tell them it was you!"
>She then bounces off
>Flash looks shocked
>"Bro, I swear I didn't tell her anything!"
"Then how the hell did she know it was us?!"
>"Shit, I dunno. she just knows things"
"How'd you two meet, anyway?"
>"Oh, I sold her some crack a while back"
>Figures
"Hey, where'd you hide the stuff, anyway? they're about to announce the queen of the dance"
>"Don't worry, those goofy fucks won't find it"
>"I stuck it in their locker. they'll be too stupid to check there"
>Shit, that was pretty clever of Flash
>He heads off after Pinkie, and you notice Derpy looking at you, annoyed
>"Don't you think I didn't notice!"
"What?"
>"You were staring at her chest!"
"I wasn't staring! and besides, they were practically in my face, I didn't have anywhere else to look"
>That joke gets you a punch in the arm
>Some slow music comes on
"Hey, come 'ere..."
>You pull her towards her and embrace her, slowly swaying to the music
"You know you're the only girl I'd want to be with, right now?"
"And besides..." you whisper "yours ain't half bad"
>Derpy cracks a smile
>Which is good, because you were scared she wasn't gonna take that well
>Gotta get a hang of this flirting thing
>Music stops, and the principal gets on stage
>"It's now time to announce the King and Queen of the Fall Formal!"
>You see Flash at the back with the bag ready. you give him a nod
>It's almost time
>"And the winners are..."
>Flash is heading towards you. you get ready to interrupt the principal, to break Shimmer publicly
>"...Anon and Derpy!"
>Huh?
>Flash looks as confused as you are, and so does Derpy
>The principal beckons you to the stage
>And you've just noticed, you haven't seen Shimmer around
>"C'mon up you two!"
>The principal leads you both on stage
>You both stand their awkwardly as she hands you your crowns
>Flash doesn't know what to do. he can't see Shimmer either
>Just then, you wear a creaking sound above your head
>You look up...
>And the two of you are drenched in pigs blood
>You could hear a pin drop
>The crowd stares at you two, absolutely shocked
>Suddenly, you hear cackling laughter to the side of the stage
>It's that bitch
>She's laughing as if she expects everybody else finds this as funny as she does
>But nobody joins in with her
>You wipe the blood off your face
>Really, you should have known this would have been a trick
>You and Derpy getting to be the King and Queen of the dance was just a little too good to be true
>You look to Derpy, she seems remarkably calm
>"We probably should have seen something like this coming, huh?"
>You can't help but laugh a little
>But now it's time to end this
"Alright Derpy, let's do this"
>Sunset finally stops laughing, as she notices the deafening silence
>She looks up...
>And gets a kick in the face from Derpy
>Damn, is she pissed
>Can you blame her?
>Derpy drags her by the hair to the center of the stage, and Flash tosses you the bag
>All eyes are on you
>You take a deep breath
"What's it like to be a sociopath? hmm? what's it like being a completely amoral bitch?"
"Do you get off on this? manipulating people? abusing them?"
>Shimmer tries to wrestle free of Derpys grip, but no way is she letting go
>"Get off me, you retard!"
>"Your words can't hurt me anymore!"
>Derpy tightens her grip, which causes Shimmer to yelp in pain
"I hope you've had your fun, because your power trip ends now"
>You pull the laptop out of the bag, and wave it in front of the crowd
"All those dirty little secrets you've compiled? All the things you've hung over the heads of so many people, are in this little laptop. correct?"
>Sunset is sweating bullets now
"Well, you won't be needing this anymore"
>You throw it to the floor with all the force you can muster. You can see the realization of what this signifies across her face as she watches it shatter
>"N-no!!!"
>She cries out as you grind your foot into the pieces. You pick up the hard-drive platter and snap it in two
>The crowd whisper to themselves. they too realize what this means. the whispers grow into cheers
"I think people will be a lot less willing to tolerate you now"
>Derpy decides to pipe up
>"By the way, I took the liberty of uploading your chat logs to the internet. I hope you don't have any naughty secrets of your own, because I imagine right now some kid with a lot of free time is on his computer, finding them out right now"
>"By now, they most certainly know your name, where you live, where your parents work, and have control of your Twitter"
>"I'd expect a lot of pizza deliveries to your house from now on"
>Flash pulls out the dragon dildo, which elicits a giggle from the crowd, and throws it in Shimmers face
>"Get rekt, bitch. you'll probably be needing that a lot more now"
>You move in closer to her, staring her dead in the eyes
"You're a bad person. I want you to go home, and think about how much of a bad person you are"
"You'll have a lot of time to reflect where things went so wrong in your life. I don't expect we'll be seeing much of you anymore"
>She's now on the verge of tears
"Well, see ya. have a nice life
>Hand in hand, you leave the hall with Derpy, cheers coming from all around you
>Outside, you see Pinkie with Flash. she bounces up to you
>"Ooh, Anon! I almost forgot! Did I tell you about the pigs blood?"
>You and Derpy walk to your place, leaving a trail of pig blood behind you
>You get a lot of shocked expressions
>Hopefully nobody thinks you killed some people and call the cops
>"I can't believe this is really it! No more abuse, no more threats!"
"Yeah, I doubt she'll want to hang around for a round two"
>"God, I'm so happy I could cry! Finally, some peace..."
>"You know, Anon...I should really thank you..."
"Aw, there's no need, really..."
>"No, I mean it"
>She stops, and takes your hands in hers
>"Nobody in my life has done more for me than you. I was in such a bad place before you came along and lifted me up. thank you"
>You pull her closer to you
"No, thank YOU. We've only known each other, for what? two months? and already you've been the best friend I've ever had. nobody has been as accepting of me as you have. you've filled me with a confidence I've never had before"
"I'm a better person for knowing you. In fact, you're more than a friend to me..."
>Derpy hushes you, then pulls you in for a kiss
>Such a passionate kiss. You hold her tight as you embrace for what feels like centuries
>"...I love you too, Anon"
>You're high on cloud 9 now, could things get any better?
>You arrive at your house, and you lead her inside
"You can use my shower, don't want that stuff to dry on you!"
>She heads upstairs to clean herself off, while you start munching down on a snack you pull from the fridge
>Hey, you know this nice restaurant in town, would be a great place for a date...
>You head on upstairs and knock on the shower door
"Hey, Derps? you coming out soon, I really want to get this blood out of my hair"
>To your surprise, the door swings open and she pulls you inside
>You gasp as she stands in front of you, in her underwear
>"Can you help me get this bra off?"
>oh jesus
>You hear a touch of sultriness in her voice
>Okay don't fuck this up Anon
>You unclasp it at the back, and she lets it fall to the floor
>She turns to you with a sly grin
>"It's okay if you want to look, Anon..."
>God, is she a beautiful woman
>"Oh, your poor suit! and you looked so good in it too! let's just get these dirty clothes off..."
>She pulls off your jacket and starts unbuttoning your shirt
>The thermostat must be broken, it just got real hot in here
>Now she's pulling down your trousers...
"H-hey, I know this real nice restaurant in town..."
>"Shh, we can talk about that later..."
"You know, I never figured you would ever be this...forward"
>She stands up to face you, and idly strokes your chest
>"You know how I've been burned before, by somebody I thought loved me. but I know, you'll never hurt me like that, will you? this feeling we share, this is for real. I just know it"
>"Have you...ever been with a girl?"
"What do you mean, 'been with'?"
>"You know what I mean, silly!"
"Well...no, not really..."
>"Then let it be me. I want you to love every last little bit of me"
>Now she slides her panties off, and tosses them aside
>"Now, you get those boxers off and help me get cleaned up, will you kindly?"
>Tonight, you sleep peacefully. arms wrapped around the newfound light of your life
>In your dreams, you are back on the football field
>Last minute left, and the game is tied at one
>You desperately need to score to advance to the knockout round
>You take the kick, this is your last chance
>You watch as the goalkeeper dives...
>His hand reaches out...
>But the ball slips out of his reach, and into the net
>You've done it!
>You tear off your shirt and run down the field, celebrating your goal
>The crowd is screaming your name
>You see Derpy. she jumps into your arms
>As the crowd cheers your names, you carry her off the pitch, off to face whatever life throws at you. together
>She's your Safest Hooves
>And you love her
>Curtains close, credits roll
>The End

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>You are Anon
>It's your first day in Canterlot High, having just moved here from upstate.
>Your family moved here for work a week ago, and you've been dreading your first day of school since then
>You've never been the most popular kid, and you've taken your fair share of beatings. you have a feeling you'll have to face the same shit here
>First thing you notice, this place has got some weird horse motif going on
>You take a look at a poster by the entrance as you walk in.
>It says "Fall Formal Dance"
>Looks like it's only a few months from now
>You've always wondered what it would be like to go to one, slowly swaying to the time of the music, a pretty girl in your arms, feeling her warmth...
>But instead, you've stayed at home and shitposted on 4chan. Your social skills aren't exactly amazing, and you've never had the nerve to ask a girl to one
>You reach your locker, dumping your stuff in as you get ready for your first class
>A crashing noise and light sobbing draws your attention
>Behind you, a small mob has formed around a girl curled up on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks.
>"That'll teach you to talk back to me, you fucking retard!"
Some crazy bitch with ketchup hair and a leather jacket is standing over her, with a smug look of superiority
>Everybody else is trying not to look, pretending like they have someplace to be
>Either this girl is legit psycho, or everyone else are just pussies
>You step up to her and her small posse
"What's going on here?"
>You seem to have more balls than common sense, the gang turns to face you
>"What the fuck did you just say?" seems you angered the kooky bitch
>oops
>"Are you new or something? I just happen to run things here, so you better watch yourself, you scrawny bastard"
>dis fuckin bitch right here
"Is that right? what could this girl have possibly done to deserve this?"
>"None of your fucking business!"
>She shoves you back, you feel your back hit the lockers. damn this girl got strength. she swings her fist at you
>Panic mode
>You duck and you hear a crunch when her fist connects with the locker
>You hear a scream
>Sounds like she just broke her wrist

>"Oh, you're going to regret this!" she says, choking back tears and staggering towards the nurses office, presumably.
>What is she, some cartoon villain?
>Dead silence. all eyes focused on you.
>Some short fat kid and a creepy lanky guy give you a look, then tag along after the psycho bitch.
>Everybody just moves along, pretending that nothing happened whatsoever
>But nobody bothers to help the poor girl up
>You move over to her, and offer her your hand
"Hey, you alright?"
>She looks up at you and smiles. god, it's such a pretty smile
>"S-sure"
>She takes your hand, and you lift her up
"I hope they didn't hurt you too bad"
>You don't know where this sudden burst of confidence came from, at your old school you just got used to taking abuse like a bitch
>But now you've pushed back, and you realize you've probably made life at this school a lot harder for yourself.
>But looking at her, you know it was worth it
>That long golden hair
>Those legs
>Her eyes...
>Are pointing in completely different directions. huh.
>Now, you find your eyes are drawn to the noticeable curvature of her breasts, concealed under her blue top...
>Goddamn it Anon don't stare at her fucking tits like that
>Damage Control
"H-hey, I really like that necktie!"
>Yeah, that's the ticket!

>She blushes a deep red. oh god, she can't stop being cute even if she tried
>"Nobody really gives me complements around here..."
"What? really? a pretty girl like you?"
>Did you really say that? Ruh-roh shaggy. how is she going to take that?
>well, now she's positively beaming
>"You...do you really mean that?"
>Hell yes you fucking do
"Of course I do"
>Before you know, she's hugging you so tightly, your ribs might collapse
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>"Thank you! nobody has ever been nice to me before...and nobody has ever stood up for me before..."
>Damn. you thought you lived a pretty lonely life, but for her to react like this, she must have gone through some serious shit
>You slowly remove her arms to allow air to enter your lungs again
"So...what's your name?"
>"...I'm Derpy"
>Huh. what a weird name. but then again, at this school you'll hear ones that are even weirder
>She's staring at your feet, trying to draw attention away from her eyes. she probably has to do that alot.
>"What's yours?"
"Anon"
>"Huh. what a weird name"
>srsly?
"So, what was all that was about?"
>The happiness drains from her face
>"Well..."

>Derpy tells you about that girl, Sunset Shimmer (told you, names get fucking weird here) and how she controls the school through fear.
>Seems like she's able to bend people to her will with ease, apparently through a combination of blackmail and violence. Derpy says how she's been forced to do Sunsets homework for ages now.
>That bitch is really starting to make your blood boil.
>Today Derpy forgot to do it. too busy, she says. Shimmer apparently doesn't like excuses
>So Shimmer is serious business round here. Guess you got yourself into some real shit now. But now is as good a time as any to nut up and fight back against abusive cunts like her for once in your life
>Derpy is starting to tear up again. you gently brush away the tears
"Hey, cheer up. you'll be fine, don't worry"
>"I'm not so sure about that, Anon..."
>You glance at the clock. shit, you're about to be late to your first class
"Hey, I gotta get to class...I'd like it if we talked more"
>"You mean it?"
"Of course!"
>You turn to leave, but you feel her tap your arm
>"A..Anon? can we be friends?"
"We already ARE friends!"
>Her smile returns, stronger than ever

>First class of the day, and you are already bored out of your mind
>You listen half-heartedly to the teacher, while doodling in your notebook
>English class is always a bore
>It's not like you don't like reading, it's just the stuff they make you read doesn't really grab your attention
>You take a look at the clock, and you swear it's moving at half normal speed
>And that's when you see her
>Sunset is sitting at the front of the class, her hand bandaged up
>She's staring daggers at you, but she has this creepy smile on her face
>You know she's got some shit planned for you
>Bring it on, bitch
>"Hey"
>You take a look at the guy sitting next to you. immediately you think "lol sanic"
>"My name's Flash"
"Hi, I'm Anon"
>"So, I noticed you had an...incident with Sunset Shimmer"
"...Yeah?"
>"I used to date her, y'know? and let me tell you, it's a good idea to stay out of her way"
"Who the fuck would willingly go out with her?"
>Oops. probably shouldn't have said that out loud. hope you didn't piss him off too much.
>"I've asked myself that a lot recently. she started off so nice, y'know? but then slowly, she started acting out, getting real aggressive. and I just went along with it"
>"It feels good to be in control. to have people obey you. I guess that's why I stayed with her for so long. Even when she got real twisted. But then I woke up one morning, and realized I could never live with myself if I kept on hurting people"
>"So I left her. but I can never stand up to her. she knows too much about me. stuff that could ruin me if it became public"

>You figure Flash must have been doing some serious shit seeing him this scared of her.
>You assume it's not something you should press him for details on, so you leave the subject alone
>The class proceeds normally enough, thankfully Sunset has stopped staring at you so you can somewhat focus on your work
>Bell rings, time to get the fuck out of here. Bring on the next class
>You encounter Shimmers two fuck ugly henchmen on the way to your next class.
>They just snicker to themselves as they brush past you, probably on their way to punch a kitten or something
>You step into the next classroom, eager for [Insert your favorite subject here]
>Oh boy, you really like [Insert your favorite subject here]
>You sit down and pull out your books
>Then something blocks your vision. Those heavenly curves...
>Damn it Anon stop staring, you look up quickly
>"Hi Anon! I didn't know we share this class!"
>Derpy sits down next to you
>"You don't mind if we sit together for this class?"
"No, I'd love it!"
>You spend the class talking to each other in hushed tones, lest the teacher hears you
>This subject isn't her strong suite, so you help her out whenever you can.
>She seems to really open up to you. when you first met her you could tell she was the kind of person who would spend their time in a shell, avoiding human contact because they've been burned one too many times before
>Just like you used to be. until you met her. You knew that feel all too well
>Bell rings, class ends.
>You and Derpy pack your things. you take a deep breath, then you turn to her
"Hey, if it's no problem...you wanna hang out sometime? I mean, if you don't mind..."
>[Spaghetti Intensifies]
>"Oh, I'd love to, Anon!"
>thank fuck for that

>Your first day has ended
>Safe to say it was quite eventful
>You start to walk home, when you hear Derpy call for you
>"Hey, Anon!"
>You turn as she runs up to you
>She looks pretty nervous
>"You asked if we could hang out more, s-so I was thinking..."
>Seems it's her turn to spaghetti now
>"You...wanna come over tomorrow?"
>Oh shit, go to a girls house?
>"I mean...I've got video games and stuff, i-if you're into that..."
>Of course you fucking are
"...Yeah, I'd love to!"
>"Great! I gotta go fast now, I have some things I need to do..."
>She didn't sound too happy about that.
"..You okay?"
>"Yeah, Anon don't worry about it"
>Well, if you say so. you both say your goodbyes and you head off home
>It's only a short walk, and you're there in no time
>You start to fish the front door key out of your pocket before you notice something
>The door is slightly open.
>Your parents are almost never around. Too busy working, flying around the country doing fuck knows what. so who the hell is in here?

>You slowly step inside, you can't help but feel a little nervous
>Dead silence
>Nobody down here, so you creep upstairs
>You hear something in your room
>You peer through the door
>It's those two creepy lackeys that hang with Shimmer
>They've completely ransacked your room, everything has been thrown about
>They must have been ordered to look for some shit to blackmail you with
>Thankfully, you haven't exactly led an eventful life.
>Well, there was that weird thing you masturbated to a while back...
>But you're not some plebeian, you wipe your browsing history often, hide behind 7 proxies, the lot
>Right now, they're at your computer, presumably trying to guess your password
>"C'mon Snips, let's just take the hard-drive and go!"
>"Shut up Snails, I got this!"
>Snips? Snails? Seriously? what's with all these stupid names? Must be something in the water
>"Oh, Shimmer is gonna be so mad...."
>"What are we gonna tell her? This is the first time we've found a locked computer!"
>Of course you password-protect your computer. You're not a casual. The drives are encrypted too. don't want the NSA looking at your shit. 
>Schools should really teach some proper IT classes, like "How not to be a fucking idiot and keep your shit safe"
>Gotta give these idiots credit though, they know how to work a lockpick at least.
>so now, the extent of Sunset Shimmers bitchiness becomes fully clear to you
>If she is willing to stoop to home invasion in order to steal peoples secrets, to blackmail them, control them, something has to be done.
>These filthy casuals break into YOUR house? and defile YOUR battlestation?
>Time to make a statement
>You kick the door open, they shriek in panic.
>[The object to your left is what you use to beat them with]

>You clutch the object tight as you deliver the first blow to Snips. he goes down crying
"You tell that bitch, that she has unleashed the fucking fury!"
>You swing again, striking Snails on the nose
"You tell her, that I'm not going to just roll over and be her bitch!"
>Another swing, this time to the stomach of Snails
>He goes down hard, you kneel down and whisper
"And if any of you lays a hand on Derpy, you better start running, 'cos I WILL hurt you hard"
>You're full of bravado now. You're not used to it, but you fucking love it
>From now on, no more mr. nice guy
>Wait, where's Snips?
>You feel a blow to the back of your head.
>You collapse, and they start giving you several good kicks in the ribs
>This actually really hurts
>"C'mon Snails, let's bail!"
>They both run off, and you hear the front door slam hard
>You get to your knees, and sit yourself down in front of your computer chair
>You can feel blood run down your head
>Any normal person would get the cops involved. but this shit just got personal
>You open up your browser and aimlessly browse the internet like you always do.
>You draw together a plan in your head, how are you going to handle this?
>But your thoughts keep drifting to Derpy. such a beautiful girl. such a nice girl, and she's mercilessly tormented for what? her eyes?
>Fuckers
>Right now, all you want to do is be there for her. not because you want to be her white knight in the vain attempt that she will feel she owes you pussy
>But because you've never ever felt this way about a person. Nobody has ever made you feel this good.
>You've only known her for a day, but she feels like an actual friend.

>Day 2 at new school.
>Go to your locker, get some stuff, put some stuff away.
>A hand grabs you, spins you around.
>It's the she-bitch
>"Listen here new guy, I don't know who you think you are, but I have a long memory, don't think this won't come back to bite you"
>You smile
"Is that so?"
>"So I don't have anything on you, sure. but I have many methods. don't think I won't come for her either..."
>Now you mad
>Grab her by the hair
"Don't you fucking dare"
>She breaks free of your grasp
>"Just you watch me"
>She walks off, chuckling under her breath.
>You turn and see Derpy. she looks concerned.
>"Anon! please, you don't need to do this, just because of me!"
"Friends look out for each other, right?"
>A pause, then she smiles.
>Turns out, you two share most of your classes together. you're near inseparable.
>Also turns out you share a lot in common. same games, same music. she even loves that show you also really love
>School ends, outside the school gates she grabs your hand and leads you off
>"You still wanna come over, right?"
"Of course!"
>Everybody else is giving you funny looks, but you don't care
>You have a friend now

>She leads you inside her house
>It's a nice enough house, a bit small, nothing fancy, but very cosy
>Very clean too
>You notice a few empty beer bottles on the kitchen table
>You doubt those are Derpy's
>"My rooms up here"
>She tugs your hand, leading you upstairs
>Oh god, you're going into a girls room?
>Okay Anon, just play it cool....
>You step inside.....and holy shit.....
>This place looks like something out of a cyberpunk movie
>You thought you were into computers, but this takes the cake
>Spare parts, heatsinks, hard drives, they litter her computer desk along with books, spare pieces of paper....
>You take a look at a book you almost tripped over
>It says "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs"
>she must regularly lurk /g/
>"I'm sorry, I should've cleaned up a little more..."
>You see her kick a bra under her bed, her cheeks red
"It's no problem, my room is pretty messy too..."
>Yeah, thanks to those two creeps
>Awkward silence. quick, think of something to say
"So, you like computers, huh?"
>She gives off a nervous laugh
>"Yeah...They've always fascinated me, y'know? I've never really had friends before, so I've had a lot of spare time to use"
>"A lot of spare time..."
>She looks down at her feet, as if she's about to cry. then she takes a deep breath, and looks at you smiling
>"So, wanna play a game?"

>Hours fly by as you burn through a multitude of games
>You order pizza, watch some shitty movies on TV
>Before you know it, it's 12PM. you still have school tomorrow, but right now that's the furthest thing from your mind
>You both talk about life before Canterlot High. You've both had to deal with a lot of shit at your previous schools.
>But you can tell Derpy seems to be deliberately omitting something
"Hey, I can't help but notice that it's almost 1AM, and your parents aren't here..."
>Derpy's mood visibly drops
>Guess you figured out what she didn't want to talk about
>"Oh, they're just out right now..."
>Guess her parents are as absent as yours
>Another awkward pause. this time Derpy breaks the silence
>"Hey, can I show you something?"
>She moves over to the computer and opens up a flash animation she has been working on
>It's a dancing muffin
>Goddamnit that's cute
>She's smiling ear from ear, she can tell you like it
>"You really like it? I've been working on it for a few weeks now"
"You ever thought about putting it online? I bet people would love this!"
>"Yeah...but what if all I get is mean comments? I'm not good at handling that kind of stuff, it just eats away at me..."
>She closes the file
>"I just don't think I'm ready for that yet. maybe later"
>She takes a glance at the clock
>"Oh, Anon, it's so late! and we have school in the morning!"
>Oh yeah, shit. Now what?
"Umm....is it okay if I sleep on the sofa or something?"
>"Oh..sure, it should be..."
>Suddenly you hear the front door open
>Derpy looks visibly distressed

>You hear the door slam, and the hammering of feet coming up the stairs
>You can see tears running down her cheek out of the corner of your eye
>Door opens
>Tall, thin woman staring you down. those empty beer bottles must belong to her. Certainly looks like a drinker
>"Who the fuck is this?!"
>Despite her figure, she has a presence that you can't help but be intimidated by
>Derpy can't bring herself to look her in the eye
>"He's my friend, Momma...."
>"Bullshit, nobody is fucking friends with you"
>She's right in your face now
>Panic sets in
"H-hello ma'am, my name is A-anon..."
>"What, can't speak properly? are you a retard too?"
>So on top of the constant bullying, she has to deal with an abusive mother too. great.
>"Please, momma, I didn't think you would be home yet..."
>"Shut up!"
>She slaps her across the face. 
>"I have enough problems dealing with you, I'm not going to put up with you bringing home more retards too!"
>You can hear Derpy crying
>"Shut the fuck up!"
>You've got to do something, but what?
>The woman turns to you
>"Now get the fuck out of here!"
"No"
>She's raging now
>"What the fuck did you say to me?"
"I'm not going to leave her alone with you"
>She takes a swing at you
>What's that in her hand?
>It's a bottle of booze
>It connects with your head
>You go down in a heap, and slip into unconsciousness
>Hello darkness, my old friend

>You hear the crowd screaming your name
>You're blazing down the field, weaving around the defencemen with ease
>They can't stop you now
>You take the kick
>The goalkeeper dives to catch it, but it's too late
>The ball has sailed into the top right corner, he never had a chance
>You hear the crowd roar
>Giddy up!
>Giddy up!
>Giddy up up!
>You pump your fist in the air as your team-mates mob you
>But slowly they melt away, and the roar of the crowd fades
>In it's place is a light sobbing
>A sobbing that grows in intensity
>And now you feel yourself being pulled into the earth
>You try to scream, but no sound leaves your mouth
>Your head goes under...
>And you're back in the room
>Your head is lying on her lap, and you can feel her tears on your face
>"I'm so sorry Anon...I wouldn't have invited you over if I knew she would be back so soon...sometimes she's gone for days at a time..."
>"She used to be nice, before she started drinking...and then last month daddy left..."
>You try to get to your feet, but Derpy pulls you up and helps you up onto her bed
>"I don't think you should be moving too much, you need rest..."
>Fuck that, you don't want to be in the same house as that abusive bitch
>You force yourself to your feet. you feel a bit dizzy, but you think you can manage
>"Anon, please! you might hurt yourself!"
"Sorry, but I don't want to be anywhere near that woman! and neither should you, for that matter!"
>A thought pops into your head
"...Hey, you wanna come with? I got a comfy bed at my place, I can manage on the couch"

>Derpy packs some clothes and you both leave through her window
>Don't want to deal with her mother
>You slowly walk to your place. Derpy is helping to keep you up, so you don't faceplant on the sidewalk
>You fumble for your key, and both of you step inside
>"This is a very nice place, Anon!"
>Whatever it is your parents do, they make decent money off it
>You aren't megabucks rich, but you're doing fine
>You notice a note on the kitchen table. Your parents stopped in while you were at school, and at Derpys place. but they've gone again already
>Business trip, will take several days. Food in the fridge, grocery money in the drawer under sink.
>Thanks Mom and Dad
>You wonder if they really have business trips, or they just go off and have fun, purposefully staying away from you
>Aw, who gives a fuck?
"Hey, you want a drink or anything? a snack?"
>"Oh no, I'm fine"
>You get a can of coke from the fridge and chug it down
>You lead her upstairs to your room. she immediately makes a beeline to your computer
>"Hey, this is a pretty decent setup you got here. what GPU are you running in this thing?"
>This girl ain't no casual
"Hey, Derpy...we should probably get some sleep, school starts soon"
>She yawns in agreement
>"You have a point..."
"You can take the bed. I'll take the sofa downstairs"
>"Oh no, it's okay, you can take the bed"
"No please, I insist"
>"Are you sure?"
>Well, perhaps we can share the bed....no, better not suggest that. you've only known her a few days, don't wanna come off as a creep
"I insist"
>You grab a few pillows and a blanket, you both say your goodnights and you fall asleep instantly on the sofa

>Fast forward several weeks. you and Derpy are closer than ever.
>You haven't summoned the courage to ask her out yet, but you know you really want to take this to the next level
>Everybody is getting hyped up for the Fall Formal
>Today is the day, you tell yourself. you'll ask her to the dance.
>Enter school, head to your locker
>You don't know what, but you feel something is wrong
>Shimmer has kept quiet, oddly enough. You figure she couldn't bend you to her will, so she decided to leave you alone
>But you start to hear people talking about Derpy in hushed tones
>Now you realize, maybe she decided to lull you into a false sense of security, then strike when you least expect it
>And you haven't seen Derpy at all today. you've been meeting up at a local cafe lately, walking to school together. but today she wasn't there
>You climbed up to her window, and she wasn't home either
>You just thought, maybe she went to school early. But something more sinister must be going on
>"So, Anon, how are things today?"
>It's Sunset Shimmer. you can hear the smugness in her voice
"Alright bitchtits, what's going on?"
>"Oh, haven't you heard?"
>This can't be good
>"Everybody knows now. how much of a little whore that retard is. how she slept around in junior high"
>You have had it up to here with this bitch
>You decide not to beat the ever-loving shit out her
>The payback must be much more devastating than that
"Where is she, Shimmer?"
>"Oh, she ran off crying somewhere, I don't give a fuck"
>"You know, I've known about it for ages. but I figure, you want to play rough, I'm perfectly willing to oblige. so I decided to let it slip. let this be a lesson to you"

>You desperately search the school for Derpy
>You've just about searched everywhere except the girls bathrooms
>Wait, the gym hall!
>You make your way over there
>You hear some douchebag talk about her loud enough for you to hear clearly
>Big mistake
>"What kind of desperate loser would fuck a girl like her anyway? I bet a "special needs" bitch like her would be a real easy lay!"
>Another douche chimes in
>"Yeah, all you gotta do is tell her to 'rub the purple eel to get the magic juice' and she'll suck it like her life depends on it!"
>You deliver a solid punch to the first cunts nose. then a swift kick to the leg of the other. they both fold like a cheap suit
"Listen here fuckwits" you yell at them "Derpy ain't no idiot, and any man would be lucky enough to be with a girl like her!"
>You give them a few more kicks
"Think about what you're saying. what it's doing to her. try not going along with the crowd, for once in your lives"
>The first guy opens his mouth, intending to let loose a no doubt very witty retort
>But you stare him down
>You deliver one last kick, and continue on your way
>They snicker as you walk away
>"Shimmer is gonna fuck you up so bad, bro!"
"Let her try"
>Now you enter the Gym Hall
>Up on the stage, behind the curtain, you can hear her cry

>You carefully approach Derpy
>She's sitting in the corner, hugging her knees
>Seeing her like this starts to choke you up, you've never before seen her this devastated
>You decide not to ask her what's wrong, seems a pretty stupid question at this point
>Instead you decide to kneel down next to her, and embrace her
>She looks up at you teary eyed
>"Please, just leave me alone..."
"We both know I'm not going to do that"
>"I know you've heard by now..."
"Yeah. And you know I don't give a shit about what these people say about you"
>"B-but it's true..."
>You pause. you certainly weren't expecting that
>"There was this guy....I thought he really cared about me! So I..."
>She takes a deep breath
>"But he just used me. Everybody tormented me mercilessly. I felt like killing myself...."
"Derpy, I'm so sorry. this is my fault, I should have never stood up to Sunset like this. she did this to get back at me. I should have never let her hurt you like this"
>"I-it's okay Anon. she was holding this above my head ever since I came here. she would have told everybody eventually..."
>You hold her close, just sitting there in silence. you're pretty sure she just fell asleep.
>You idly stroke her hair as she lightly snores
"Derpy?"
>She looks up at you smiling. she seems to be at peace now
"Will you go to the fall formal with me?"
>You're startled as she pushes herself away from you
>"Are you kidding me?! After all that's happened, you want me to face Shimmer and these people? Why would you want to do that to me?! so they can humiliate me again?"
"I admit, my reason is a little selfish..."
>"Oh, I bet!"
"I just want to be with you, Derpy"
>This stops her in her tracks
>"You....what do you mean?"
"I really like you Derpy. I want to be with you. I just want to make you happy"
>You push her chin up, so you are looking directly into her eyes
"After everything that's happened to you, you're still here. You're the strongest person I know, if anybody else was in your situation they would just buckle."
"Everyday, you still come to school. I can't count the amount of times I would hide in my room, crying under my blanket because I couldn't summon the
courage to go to school. I tanked quite a few classes"
>Derpy is teary-eyed now
>"You really mean it, Anon?"
"Every word"
>The tears are really coming now. You hope they're tears of joy
>You feel something running down your cheek. You've started crying too. this is a completely new feel you're experiencing
>You're so nervous your hands can't stop shaking. you go in for the kiss. you're not exactly experienced at this, but you stick the landing
>After what seems like an eternity, your lips part. Derpy gives a contented sigh
>"Consider it a date then, Anon!"
>You couldn't be happier
>But you have to do something about Shimmer
>Luckily you've developed a friendship with somebody who can help you out
>Time to call up your homeboy Flash

>The rest of the school day proceeds normally enough
>Derpy spent the rest of the day with a smile on her face
>Everybody seems shocked at how visibly happy the both of you are, especially her
>You pass by Sunset Shimmer at one point, and she was fuming
>She failed to break Derpy, and she was beyond pissed
>Several people even came up to Derpy to apologize during the day. took a while, but your thankful some people are treating her with some decency for once
>After school Derpy, Flash and yourself meet up in the local cafe. Derpy orders several muffins. you get a bottle of coke and immediately chug it down
>Flash just sits there, drumming his fingers against the table
>"Alright you two, I have a pretty good idea what you're up to. I'm all for taking down Shimmer as well but I hope you got a pretty good fuckin' plan"
"Pretty sure I do"
>You've been thinking about it for a while now. You start to lay it down
"Alright, so she's been collecting dirt on people for a while now, right? kind of stuff people would do pretty much anything to prevent becoming public"
"Now I know there is no way in hell a kooky bitch like her has nothing to hide"
"Unless this chick has fucking Sherlock permanent memory or something she has a collection of the shit she has on people. We simply need to find it, and destroy it"
"Remove her leverage. then give her a taste of her own medicine"
"Even if she is completely clean, removing that leverage will mean people don't have to bow down to her. run that bitch right outta town"
>They both look at you with a shocked expression
>"Nonny, are you suggesting...breaking into her house?"
>Did Derpy just call you Nonny? That's a pretty cute nickname actually
"Yeah, I guess I am. What she gonna do, call the cops? Her lackeys fingerprints are all over my shit, she wouldn't dare"
>Flash laughs, and pats you on the shoulder
>"Man I like you, you're one crazy motherfucker! when do we pull this off?"
"Tonight"

>You roll up to her place in Flash's sweet ride
>It's close to midnight
>This car is pretty fuckin' sweet, how does a high-school guy did something like this?
"Hey Flash, your parents must be pretty loaded if you got a car like this!"
>He suddenly looks uncomfortable
>"No, they aren't rich or anything...you know when I said Shimmer knew stuff about me that could destroy me?"
"...Yeah?"
>"Well....l used to sell some drugs during the summer. I really needed the cash, y'know? and I made a killing doing it"
>Haha oh wow, you weren't expecting that
>Derpy looks over at you, concerned
>All you can do is shrug
>Flash the drug-dealer certainly can claim the moral high ground over the she-bitch herself, amusingly enough
>"You know, if you ever want to get some primo weed, I could get you a discount. I know people"
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind, bro"
>He stops the car a short walk away from her place, don't want to be too conspicuous
"Alright....should be a walk in the park, right?"
>You fail to hide your nervousness, looking at the faces of your compatriots, neither can they. Derpy is slightly shaky
>"Yeah, sure Nonny....Can you run the plan by me one more time?"
"Okay, we know that guy from the football team is having a birthday party, and pretty much everyone except us is there"
"Now I know for certain Shimmer is there, probably getting plastered. Flash says she lives in a pretty high-class place, so I guess the worst case scenario is they got a maid there or something"
"So we sneak in through a window or something, get any documents, access her computer, then we bolt"
>This doesn't seem to comfort Derpy
>"You know Nonny, if you think about it this is kind of a stupid plan"
>Nobody has ever accused you of having an overabundance of intelligence
"Well, my original plan was to just kill her and dump her in a river, but I think this will be easier to get away with"

>Jump over the fence
"Alright, let's find a way in"
>You check all possible entrances.
>None of them are open, but you notice the front and back doors are rigged to a keypad system, most certainly connected to an expensive security system
>Flash tries an old code he knew when he still dated her. doesn't work
>Derpy doesn't know a way to bypass it
>But then for her, a lightbulb goes off
>"Hey, you can hear that sound right?"
>Yeah, a faint sound of vacuuming. guess there is a maid home
>"Hey Flash, you still remember the home phone number?"
>"Yeah, sure"
>He gives her the number, and she dials it in
>You only hear one side of the conversation
>"..Hello? yes, this is Mrs. Hackerson from Hyperdyne Industries, we installed your security system?"
>"Oh, you just work there? are the owners there?"
>"...Away on business? just you?"
>"Okay, well, we're just doing a security check, do you happen to remember the PIN number for the system there?"
>"...Okay, that checks out. your system seems secure. Okay, goodbye"
>She's grinning from ear to ear
>"Okay, the codes 45100, let's make our way through the back here"
>She punches in the code and slowly opens the door
>You take a closer look at the keypad
>It says "Manufactured by Hyperdyne Industries"
>The text was so small you couldn't even notice
>Clever girl
>She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek
>"Where would you be without me?"
>"Yo, hold up" Flash hands out some balaclavas "We don't want her seeing our faces if she finds us"
>You slowly creep inside
>Looks like the backdoor led into the kitchen.
>The lights are off, and you can hear the vacuuming stronger now
>It's coming from upstairs
>Shit, that's probably where her room is. How you gonna get up there without being spotted?

>It's your turn to get a bright idea
"Hey, Derpy, go back out and ring the front doorbell"
>"What?"
"Trust me, just ring the front doorbell, and keep the maid occupied"
>She seems to get where you're going with this, so she creeps back out
>You wait, then you hear the doorbell ring
>The vacuum turns off, and you see the maid head downstairs and to the door
>"Hello?" she asks as she opens the door to face Derpy, acting as innocent as she can
>"Hi! I'm lost, I was hoping you could give me directions..."
>Time to move
>As silent as possible, you and Flash creep across from the kitchen to the hallway, then up the stairs as quickly as you can
>Derpy notices you move behind the maid, but thankfully she doesn't let on
>Shit, there's a lot of rooms up here
>Derpy can't cover for you for long now, so you quickly pick one
>Shit, it's a bathroom
>You can hear the front door close
>Time to panic
>Close the door, move onto the next one
>Nope, this isn't it
>You can hear footsteps moving up the stairs
>Open the next door
>You lucked out, looks like hers
>You both quickly get in, and lock the door
>"Hey, check this out!" you hear Flash whisper
>He's pointing to a pretty big picture of Shimmer hanging above her bed
>"She really is an egotistical bitch, right?"
>There's more than one picture of her on the wall. she has a crown on most of them
>The absolute smugness of her expression in these photographs, as she poses with the crown she no doubt rigged into becoming hers, gives you even more motivation to wreck her shit
>You unlock the window and carefully slide it open
"Psst. Derpy!"
>She appears from behind the bushes and you help pull her into the room
>The vacuum clicks on again, and you hear it move past you to the other end of the hall
"Alright. let's get searching"

>You go through her shelves, under her bed
>Nothing of interest
>"Hey guys, what should we do with this?"
>Flash pulls out a dragon dildo
>You decide to keep it
>It will be good to humiliate shimmer with
>Also, you doubt she's gonna report it stolen. who would? it would be a tough one to explain
>Derpy is typing away on Sunsets laptop
>"Managed to guess her password. I figured it would be her name, or a variation of it. turns out it was just 'princess'"
>Are you really surprised at that?
>"It looks like she has a folder full of incriminating evidence on everyone. photos, court documents, all sorts of shit"
>Derpy turns to you
>"Should we wipe it now or later? I could install remote desktop connection software, so we can access it somewhere else"
"Nah, let's just take it"
>"Nonny, you serious? she's OBVIOUSLY going to notice it gone"
"Exactly. she won't know it was us that took it. and it'll give her something to think about until the dance"
"Besides, I want to take a closer look at what's in there"
>"Alright, can we leave now?" Flash has an obvious look of concern on his face
>And, you've just figured out why
>The vacuum has just shut off, and you hear footsteps approaching
>Shit
>You motion for them to escape through the window
>You unlock the door so to make sure nothing appears out of the ordinary, and quickly leap out the window
>Flash slides the window shut and you all make a dash to his car
>You attempt to lay back and relax on the ride home
>But you're still wired on adrenaline, your heart racing
>You still can't believe you actually broke into someone's house
>Flash drops you both off in front of your place
>Derpy loops her arm around yours
>"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight? My parents are still going over their divorce proceedings...I don't want to have to hear them screaming over their lawyers..."
"Of course it's okay, Derps"
>"Seriously, 'Derps'? That the best you can come up with?"
"Well, 'Nonny' isn't that imaginative either!"
>"Relax, I'm kidding ya. besides, I think it's quite cute"

>You thoroughly go over the laptop with Derpy
>You go through her chat logs, hoping to find something
>You read her chatting to her two creepy friends, ordering them to observe or intimidate people
>Nothing you don't already know about
>But you find one thing interesting
>She mentions something about a "surprise" at the Fall Formal
>She's intentionally vague, so you can't figure out anything about it from the logs
>You'll just have to keep your eyes out
>"Hey Nonny, it's pretty late, we should get some sleep"
>Yeah, that sounds pretty good right about now
>You grab a pillow and a blanket and head down to the sofa
>Derpy grabs your arm
>"Please, stay with me tonight?"
>Oh jesus wat
>Your heart is racing
>Does she mean, in the same bed?
>She pats an empty spot next to her
>"...Please?"
"Uhh....sure"
>You lay down next to her
>Well, this is a completely new experience for you
>She immediately wraps her arms around you and lays her head on your chest
>"Tommorow is Saturday, right?"
"Yep"
>"Fall Formal in a few days"
"...Uh-huh"
>"Got anything nice to wear"
"I think so..."
>"Good. I want you looking your best!"
"You got anything?"
>"Oh, I think I've got just the dress for the occasion..."
"...That's nice"
>A long pause
>You open your mouth to say something, but she's already snoring loudly

>Today is Fall Formal time
>After what feels like hours, you've managed to get your tie on properly
>Oddly enough, you feel pretty good wearing this tux. don't look half bad, either
>You go over everything in your head
>You know what must be done
>Everybody from the school will be there, which is perfect for your plan
>After you finally feel ready, you knock on your bathroom door
"Hey, you ready in there?"
>The door swings open, and there stands Derpy
>Damn, is she rockin' that dress
>She does a little twirl
>"So, what'cha think Nonny?"
>[Arousal Intensifies]
"You look amazing!"
>"Damn right I do! and don't you look just dapper in that suit!"
>You hear Flash's car pull up outside
>"Ooh, we gotta go! can't wait to show you off to everyone!"
>She dashes downstairs
>You grab a rucksack filled with the stolen goods from Shimmers place
>You take one last glance in the mirror
>It's amazing how good you look after you clean yourself up a little
>All the ladies love a sharp dressed man
>You join Derpy and you all drive down to the school
>"Hey Flash, you got a date tonight?"
>"Yeah, I met this girl recently"
>He smiles to himself as he thinks about her
>"She's got this wonderful smile...I love the way she laughs..."
>"Oh, and those lips of hers are fuckin' powerful, they could suck the chrome right off a trailer hitch"
>Derpy winces slightly
>"...That's sweet"
>The cars pulls up the school
>You hand the bag to Flash
"Remember, we do this after she gets crowned the Queen again. maximise the impact"
>You grab Derpy by the hand and lead her inside
"Have I ever mentioned how pretty your eyes are?"

>Music blaring, lights flashing
>You enter the hall with Derpy, hand in hand
>You get a few looks from the crowd
>None of them antagonistic
>They seem to be checking you out in amazement
>Well, probably more Derpy than you
>But you're not concerned
>You're just happy she's with you
>"Hey, let's dance!"
>She drags you to the center of the dance floor
>There, you both stand for a few seconds
>"...You know how to dance?"
"No. you?"
>"No"
"Well, I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually"
>You start to move your body to the music
>You look like an epileptic having a seizure, but it seems to be working
>Derpy giggles and joins in
>You start to enjoy yourself. maybe this partying stuff isn't so bad after all
>You notice Flash heading your way, with his date
>"Hey guys! I'd like you to meet my date? her name is..."
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie!"
>She seems really upbeat
>Like, just snorted a pound of cocaine upbeat
>You can see why he's dating her though
>You could lose a wallet in that cleavage
>"Ooh, Punch!"
>Pinkie starts heading towards the snack table, but she stops and turns suddenly
>"Oh, I almost forgot! Sunset Shimmer is scared that someone from the school might have broken into her house, so she's got Snips and Snails searching all the lockers, and shaking people down"
>"But don't worry, I won't tell them it was you!"
>She then bounces off
>Flash looks shocked
>"Bro, I swear I didn't tell her anything!"
"Then how the hell did she know it was us?!"
>"Shit, I dunno. she just knows things"
"How'd you two meet, anyway?"
>"Oh, I sold her some crack a while back"
>Figures
"Hey, where'd you hide the stuff, anyway? they're about to announce the queen of the dance"
>"Don't worry, those goofy fucks won't find it"
>"I stuck it in their locker. they'll be too stupid to check there"

>Shit, that was pretty clever of Flash
>He heads off after Pinkie, and you notice Derpy looking at you, annoyed
>"Don't you think I didn't notice!"
"What?"
>"You were staring at her chest!"
"I wasn't staring! and besides, they were practically in my face, I didn't have anywhere else to look"
>That joke gets you a punch in the arm
>Some slow music comes on
"Hey, come 'ere..."
>You pull her towards her and embrace her, slowly swaying to the music
"You know you're the only girl I'd want to be with, right now?"
"And besides..." you whisper "yours ain't half bad"
>Derpy cracks a smile
>Which is good, because you were scared she wasn't gonna take that well
>Gotta get a hang of this flirting thing
>Music stops, and the principal gets on stage
>"It's now time to announce the King and Queen of the Fall Formal!"
>You see Flash at the back with the bag ready. you give him a nod
>It's almost time
>"And the winners are..."
>Flash is heading towards you. you get ready to interrupt the principal, to break Shimmer publicly
>"...Anon and Derpy!"
>Huh?
>Flash looks as confused as you are, and so does Derpy
>The principal beckons you to the stage
>And you've just noticed, you haven't seen Shimmer around
>"C'mon up you two!"
>The principal leads you both on stage
>You both stand their awkwardly as she hands you your crowns
>Flash doesn't know what to do. he can't see Shimmer either
>Just then, you wear a creaking sound above your head
>You look up...
>And the two of you are drenched in pigs blood
>You could hear a pin drop
>The crowd stares at you two, absolutely shocked
>Suddenly, you hear cackling laughter to the side of the stage
>It's that bitch
>She's laughing as if she expects everybody else finds this as funny as she does
>But nobody joins in with her

>You wipe the blood off your face
>Really, you should have known this would have been a trick
>You and Derpy getting to be the King and Queen of the dance was just a little too good to be true
>You look to Derpy, she seems remarkably calm
>"We probably should have seen something like this coming, huh?"
>You can't help but laugh a little
>But now it's time to end this
"Alright Derpy, let's do this"
>Sunset finally stops laughing, as she notices the deafening silence
>She looks up...
>And gets a kick in the face from Derpy
>Damn, is she pissed
>Can you blame her?
>Derpy drags her by the hair to the center of the stage, and Flash tosses you the bag
>All eyes are on you
>You take a deep breath
"What's it like to be a sociopath? hmm? what's it like being a completely amoral bitch?"
"Do you get off on this? manipulating people? abusing them?"
>Shimmer tries to wrestle free of Derpys grip, but no way is she letting go
>"Get off me, you retard!"
>"Your words can't hurt me anymore!"
>Derpy tightens her grip, which causes Shimmer to yelp in pain
"I hope you've had your fun, because your power trip ends now"
>You pull the laptop out of the bag, and wave it in front of the crowd
"All those dirty little secrets you've compiled? All the things you've hung over the heads of so many people, are in this little laptop. correct?"
>Sunset is sweating bullets now
"Well, you won't be needing this anymore"
>You throw it to the floor with all the force you can muster. You can see the realization of what this signifies across her face as she watches it shatter
>"N-no!!!"
>She cries out as you grind your foot into the pieces. You pick up the hard-drive platter and snap it in two
>The crowd whisper to themselves. they too realize what this means. the whispers grow into cheers
"I think people will be a lot less willing to tolerate you now"
>Derpy decides to pipe up
>"By the way, I took the liberty of uploading your chat logs to the internet. I hope you don't have any naughty secrets of your own, because I imagine right now some kid with a lot of free time is on his computer, finding them out right now"
>"By now, they most certainly know your name, where you live, where your parents work, and have control of your Twitter"
>"I'd expect a lot of pizza deliveries to your house from now on"
>Flash pulls out the dragon dildo, which elicits a giggle from the crowd, and throws it in Shimmers face
>"Get rekt, bitch. you'll probably be needing that a lot more now"
>You move in closer to her, staring her dead in the eyes
"You're a bad person. I want you to go home, and think about how much of a bad person you are"
"You'll have a lot of time to reflect where things went so wrong in your life. I don't expect we'll be seeing much of you anymore"
>She's now on the verge of tears
"Well, see ya. have a nice life
>Hand in hand, you leave the hall with Derpy, cheers coming from all around you
>Outside, you see Pinkie with Flash. she bounces up to you
>"Ooh, Anon! I almost forgot! Did I tell you about the pigs blood?"

>You and Derpy walk to your place, leaving a trail of pig blood behind you
>You get a lot of shocked expressions
>Hopefully nobody thinks you killed some people and call the cops
>"I can't believe this is really it! No more abuse, no more threats!"
"Yeah, I doubt she'll want to hang around for a round two"
>"God, I'm so happy I could cry! Finally, some peace..."
>"You know, Anon...I should really thank you..."
"Aw, there's no need, really..."
>"No, I mean it"
>She stops, and takes your hands in hers
>"Nobody in my life has done more for me than you. I was in such a bad place before you came along and lifted me up. thank you"
>You pull her closer to you
"No, thank YOU. We've only known each other, for what? two months? and already you've been the best friend I've ever had. nobody has been as accepting of me as you have. you've filled me with a confidence I've never had before"
"I'm a better person for knowing you. In fact, you're more than a friend to me..."
>Derpy hushes you, then pulls you in for a kiss
>Such a passionate kiss. You hold her tight as you embrace for what feels like centuries
>"...I love you too, Anon"
>You're high on cloud 9 now, could things get any better?
>You arrive at your house, and you lead her inside
"You can use my shower, don't want that stuff to dry on you!"
>She heads upstairs to clean herself off, while you start munching down on a snack you pull from the fridge
>Hey, you know this nice restaurant in town, would be a great place for a date...
>You head on upstairs and knock on the shower door
"Hey, Derps? you coming out soon, I really want to get this blood out of my hair"
>To your surprise, the door swings open and she pulls you inside
>You gasp as she stands in front of you, in her underwear
>"Can you help me get this bra off?"
>oh jesus
>You hear a touch of sultriness in her voice
>Okay don't fuck this up Anon
>You unclasp it at the back, and she lets it fall to the floor
>She turns to you with a sly grin
>"It's okay if you want to look, Anon..."
>God, is she a beautiful woman
>"Oh, your poor suit! and you looked so good in it too! let's just get these dirty clothes off..."
>She pulls off your jacket and starts unbuttoning your shirt
>The thermostat must be broken, it just got real hot in here
>Now she's pulling down your trousers...
"H-hey, I know this real nice restaurant in town..."
>"Shh, we can talk about that later..."
"You know, I never figured you would ever be this...forward"
>She stands up to face you, and idly strokes your chest
>"You know how I've been burned before, by somebody I thought loved me. but I know, you'll never hurt me like that, will you? this feeling we share, this is for real. I just know it"
>"Have you...ever been with a girl?"
"What do you mean, 'been with'?"
>"You know what I mean, silly!"
"Well...no, not really..."
>"Then let it be me. I want you to love every last little bit of me"
>Now she slides her panties off, and tosses them aside
>"Now, you get those boxers off and help me get cleaned up, will you kindly?"

>Tonight, you sleep peacefully. arms wrapped around the newfound light of your life
>In your dreams, you are back on the football field
>Last minute left, and the game is tied at one
>You desperately need to score to advance to the knockout round
>You take the kick, this is your last chance
>You watch as the goalkeeper dives...
>His hand reaches out...
>But the ball slips out of his reach, and into the net
>You've done it!
>You tear off your shirt and run down the field, celebrating your goal
>The crowd is screaming your name
>You see Derpy. she jumps into your arms
>As the crowd cheers your names, you carry her off the pitch, off to face whatever life throws at you. together
>She's your Safest Hooves
>And you love her
>Curtains close, credits roll
>The End

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