Not one fuck anon a little bit edited

>You are Anonymous, the local crazy person in ponyville.

>Or that is what they are saying at least, you know you're not around from this world.

>You have a rumor for being crazy and a bad temper or madman for short.

>can't really blame them these ponies are driving you crazy.

>Sitting in your kitchen having a nice cup of tea because the ponies don't have coffee you spot some fillies messing with your mailbox again putting rotten food and one time a piece of shit in there.

>"damn shits."

>rushing for the front door you slam it open to yell at the them.

"GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY."

>"AAAH! it's anonymous!"

>the fillies run off laughing at your miss fortune and tell each other jokes about you.

"YEAH, YOU JUST RUN OFF NOW YOU LITTLE FUCKS AND YOU BETTER HOPE I NEVER CATCH YOU!" there is some distance between you and them so you shout as loud you can but you don't think they can hear you.

>the only ones hearing you are some random ponies that are looking awkwardly in your direction.

>when they see that your looking at them they trot away is if nothing had happened.

>heading for your mailbox you see if they put any weird shit in it.

>you let out a loud sigh as you see that they didn't have any time to put anything into it.

>"Little fucks." you mutter and go back into your house.

>drinking the tea you left before you head off to finish your chores that takes a while and when you're done you sit down in your couch in the living room with a new cup of tea and a book.

>you've been kinda looking forward to this moment since it is getting dark outside and you get to spend even more time alone in peace.

>that is until there is a knock on your door.

>you pray that it isn't those kids again playing knock and run.

>yeah, knock and run. that's is what they call it since door bells doesn't exist in Equestria.

>getting up from the couch you just sat down in you head for the door and open it as fast as you can like you usually do.

>too your surprise there is a white pony or horse you could say that is staring right at you at your eye level.

>you stare at each other not saying a word, your currently trying to figure out why she of all ponies could end up at your door step.

>"Hello there I'm.."

"I know who you are, what do you want?"

"Well i was just in the neighborhood and wanted to come by for a visit."

"Canterlot isn't in the neighborhood princess."

>"well you see i was visiting my student here in ponyville and i was looking out the window across the street and saw and heard you."

"Oh you heard that."

>"Yes i did."

"well what are you going to do about it?"

>"Oh me? I'm not going to do anything, yelling out words i don't know the meaning of isn't going to get you in trouble."

>What the fuck?

"Excuse me princess but were you talking about me?"

>"Yes i.."

"Those little fucks have been doing that harassing me for weeks and I'd like to report them to the authority for harassment. good thing you are the authority and i can report them directly to you."

>"W-what? they are just little fillies."

>Great, the princess was against you on this matter from the start.

"Yeah if that's all you wanted then I'll just close the door for now." you slowly close the door in the princesses face

>"Wait! i wanted to.."

>closing the door you head for the couch with a grin on your face. Maybe the rumors about you being a madman was true after all. to shut the door on the princess of Equestria is a little achievement in itself.

>picking up your victory drink for the evening you see the that the princess is still here and looking at you through your window in the living room.

>while staring at her you take the cup to the mouth as you watch her horn lit up suddenly appear in your living room on your couch making you spill all the hot tea in the cup all over yourself.

"What the fuck!?" you get up from the couch yet again with hot tea all over your sweater.

>"Sorry for intruding like this but Everp0ny else usually invites me in for a cup of tea."

>You stare at her for a couple of seconds gathering your thoughts.

>taking of your sweater you sit down in your couch rubbing your temple.

"Well now i see why everp0ny does that."

>"And why is that?"

"Would be a lot less stressful to just invite you in instead of waiting for you let yourself in like that since you're allowed to go where it pleases you.

>"I-i." The princess is speechless.

>She better be after making you spill hot tea over yourself.

>You give a little nick while showing the princess your shit eating grin.

>You're definitely going to have fun messing with the princess.  

"I'll get a cup for you princess." you head for the kitchen to get her a cup and some crackers on a plate.

>angrily muttering out words as.

>"I'm sorry barging in like that Anonymous." great, she knows your name and that means she has been talking to the locals.

"It's to late for that" you place the tea cup next to the princess and a the crackers in the middle of the table and picking one up for yourself.

"So what do you want?" you say while taking a bite of the craker.

>"Well i was suspicious at first but it is clear to me now that i was correct."

"You've been talking to the locals haven't you?"

>"I have been talking to my student across the street yes, and she had quiet a bit to say about you." the princess gives you a serious look.

"So you've heard the rumors then?"

>"I don't think you're a madman Anonymous but there is something else I'd like to confirm about you."

"What?" her horns begin to light up and she closes her eyes.

>She is definitely casting some form of magic right.

>Is she reading your mind?

"You aren't reading my mind are you?" great, saying out loud what your thinking is a good idea.

>there is a short silence. all you can do is watch the princess and pray that she doesn't look into the sickest shit you've seen. and it is pretty bad considering the time you've spent on the Internet for a couple of years.

>"I can almost not believe what I'm seeing." the light from her horn fades and she opens up her eyes again.

"Ok if you just give me a little time to explain how the Internet works this wouldn't seem so bad."

>"How are you still alive?"

"Is that a bad thing?"

>"You posses no magic what so ever and that shouldn't be possible. Every living thing in the world possess some form of magic inside of them that makes them live. Ponies, animas and even plants possesses this trait but you don't."

"Magic isn't really a thing where i come from."

>"You're to important to stay here, you should come back to the castle with me so i can study you closer. learn how you are able to stay alive and how you came here."

"How i came here? how the fuck did you know about that.

>"I had my suspicions when i first saw you through my students window.

"well I'm not going any where to be studied or hooked up to a table." The princess stands up and her horn it lit up and is in your direction.

"I mean it, you may say it now but I've learned a couple of the Internet and what you're saying right now is pretty crazy where i come from."

>"I'm sorry Anonymous but i can't let you stay here." her horns becomes brighter and is still pointing at you.

"I've been just fine until you showed up and I'm not going anywhere without a fight.

>the princess starts to chuckle and then the chuckle becomes a huge laugh.

"I didn't know you could be so unsophisticated princess." the laughing doesn't stop.

>better prepare yourself for what is to come.

>heading for one of the cabinets in your living room you pull up a taser you got before you went on vacation and then somehow ended up here.

>"I'm sorry for laughing at you anonymous." there is a couple of chuckles between her words.

>"It has been fun and all but I'm afraid you going to have to come with me now.

"I'm not going anywhere with you crazy horse bitch."

>"such manners."

>Celestia closes her eyes yet again and the light from her horn becomes brighter.

>Before the princess can do any of her magic you shoot her with your taser.

>The magic from her horn stops and she shakes violently like she is having a seizure and falls to the ground.

>you don't stop tase the princess until you're sure she is completely knocked out.

>when you are done you go to check on the damage you've caused.

>While making sure the princess is knocked out you notice her rainbow like mane standing up. there is also a smell of burned hair.

"crazy bitch."

>You're pretty much fucked at this point.

>you try to lift the giant horse but not to your surprise she is too damn heavy.

>draging her across your living room is out of the question since you doubt you could hide her and tie her up. she could get lose pretty easily.

>killing her is also out of question. looks like you're going to end up in jail for the rest of your life and be strapped up on a table to be studied.

"well fuck."

>A couple of hours go by while you sit in the living room eying the princess on the floor and then there is a loud bang on your door.

>the princess is starting to move, probably also regaining consciousness.

>better check on who's knocking on your door at this hour.

>Upon entering the door there is a purple mare door step along with probably the rest of the town behind her.

>"Anonymous have you seen the princess!?"

"Yes i have, what about it?"

>"Well where is she? she never made it back to Canterlot and the rest of the town has been looking all over her."

"She is in here." the purple mare rushes in pushing you out of your way to greet her princess that is now on her feet in the living room.

>"Princess what happened?!"

>"Twilight I-i..."

"We had a quick round of rough house and the princess lost."

>"What? you did this to the princess?!" the purple mare turns around and with a mad look on her and her horn starts to lit up with magic.

>"Twilight stop this instant!" the purple mare turns around to face the princess.

>"B-but princess he.."

>"I want to have a talk with him, in private." Celestia looks at you.

>the mare holds her ground eying the princess for a couple of seconds but retreats and heads for the door but not before giving you a mean look and then heading out the door.

>"What happened to me Anonymous?"

"I tased you."

>The princess notices her mane and starts going over it with her hoof.

"I'm going to jail now aren't i or probably be strapped up on a table to be studied for the rest of my life."

>"This tase you speak of how did you do it?"

"I used the thing on the table. but i won't able to do it again since i almost used the whole battery to knock you out."

>"I See." the princess uses magic on her hair and yet again it becomes like it was before.

>"I didn't know you were so scared that you would do anything necessary to prevent it from happening. to go as far as to "tase" me."

"I really didn't like the idea of using it since it's the mean i have to defend myself from the rest of the world."

>"I'm sorry that you feel that way, because you're probably going to spend the rest of your life here."

"I'm What?"

>"I was thinking about helping you get home but it seems that won't be possible."

>"So I'm stuck here for the rest of my life?"

>"I'm going to let you stay here in ponyville. Maybe change the way you're feeling about Equestria, maybe you'll get some dear friends here." the princess gives off a small smile.

"It's already bad as it is and if they found out that i tased their princess knocking her out unconscious they will probably begin to hate me." the princess just keeps on smiling.

"And don't get me started on being an Alien from another planet or dimension or whatever it is that has happened to make me appear in Equestria."

>"You'll just have to keep on living here from now."

"Can you like. not talk to anyone about me being from another world and all of that has happened here?"

>"Fine. I'll tell no one about what happened here or about you. It wouldn't look so good if everyp0ny found out that an Alien got the best of me."

>how the fuck can she be so cool about this after being tased?

>"Now if you'll have me excused. I'll be heading back to Canterlot for now."

>Celestia walks past you and open the door and closes it as she walks out the door frame.

>a loud "Princess what happened?!" was heard but that is all you hear them talk about before the door closes.

>You stand still trying to listen what they are saying but it is muffled by the door.

>after a few minutes of standing still gathering your thoughts you go to check if they are still there.

>Everyp0ny and the purple mare are the except for the princess.

"Where did the princess go?"

>"She flew off." The entire town is eying you.

>"How do you know the princess? What happened in there?" the purple one is confused.

>looks like the princess is going to keep everything that happened a secret."

"Get the fuck off my property." shutting the door in her face you head to bed.