(3) The Adventures of the Tickling-Fixated Anon in Equestria

"Chapters" in this 'epic saga' (pffffthahahaha) will be indicated by the parenthesized number (i.e. (1), (2), and so on) prefixing it in the pastes' titles.

 

I'm literally right at the character limit so it'll be fucking interesting when I reach two-digit numbers.

 

>”Anon, what's a 7-letter word for 'cheerful'?”

>”Umm... 'chipper'?”

>Luna pauses for a moment

>”Aha!” she exclaims happily. “That is, indeed, the correct answer!”

>So here you are, Anon in Equestria once more

>You've more-or-less given up on any hope of getting home

>But that's all right, all these ponies are adorable

>And few moreso than the Princess of the Night herself

>That said, Luna had sort of... taken ownership of you

>Not that it was necessarily an odd thing

>Just weird

>For example, here you were, being her designated companion (for lack of a better term), with her engaging you in conversation at her will

>Everything from bouncing complex political concepts off of you to helping her with word games

>You were, by no means, a slave or servant

>She made it clear that your presence was expected – hoped for, even – but by no means mandatory

>The real kicker (you congratulated yourself for the terrible pun), though, was this bizarre relationship she had established with you

>This rapport was why you sat next to her, thanking your lucky stars as you got to embrace your combined tickling and newly-acquired hoof fetishes

>You spent most of your time simply kneading at her soft hooves, with her occasionally giving you nonverbal feedback in the form of slightly-sensual twisting and turning in your hands

>The effect, of course, is both heart-warming and endearing

>Not to mention unspeakably adorable

>You naturally augment the massaging with occasional tickling, a scrape of her hoof there, a poke there

>This more often than not invokes a pleasing yelp or squeak, sometimes supplemented by her face scrunched up in a glare that is more accurately-described as 'cute' than 'frightening'

>The best part of this entire thing was that Luna actually was the one asking for it

>No need to contrive some reasoning to justify the arrangement

>She infrequently punished your more-forceful transgressions with a pillow heaved at your face

>Your reaction tended to be just a jovial laugh and a couple more passes at her hooves, at which point she would giggle again and hide her face in her pillow

>At this moment, she was enthralled in a word search, struggling to find the answers and occasionally asking you for input

>Once in a while she let out a frustrated groan, and your unspoken consolation was a new round of massaging, causing her to groan slightly and shift around in pleasure

>Other times she would enthusiastically find an answer, at which point she would get far too excited at herself

>Bringing your round of thinking back to the present...

>”I can't believe I figured that word out!” Luna exclaimed proudly

>You cocked an eyebrow

>”Excuse me?” you asked disbelievingly “YOU figured it out?”

>She looked at you, her eyes widening

>”Wha- NO, wait, I mean-”

>You stopped massaging her hoof and tucked your fingernails into the pocket of flesh, scraping around incessantly

>”Anoha-HA-HA-HAN!” Luna was interrupted by your attack, launching into a new round of laughter, the sound sweet music to your ears

>You casually ducked your head to avoid a pillow flung at your head, refusing to stop. “Luna, I'm hurt by you trying to discredit me like that”

>”I ME-HE-HE-HEANT 'WE' FIGURED IT OUT, ANO-HA-HA-HAHN!”

>You stopped long enough to fix her with a questioning glance. “You sure?”

>Her breath gasping, she nodded frantically. “Yes, Anon, of course!”

>You began to shrug, then stopped. “Of course,” you said slyly, “You might mean that you meant to use the Royal 'We'”...

>”Of course not! We di-HI-HI-HIDN'T!” You cut her off with a new round of tickling – you loved that part. “YOU-HOO-HOO MO-HA-HAHNSTER!”

>You wound down slowly, dodging a few more hastily-thrown linens, catching a thrown throw pillow with your face once

>It was pretty soft

>'Pretty' being the important word

>You rubbed your nose with one hand while continuing your ministrations of one of her hooves, this time back to rubbing

>She still busted out in a little giggle fit every once in a while

>”So, Anon,” she said, breaking off into a muted round of laughter

>”Luna.”

>”Anon,” she began again, “I have a proposition for you”

>”Go on...”

>She cleared her throat, retracting her hooves from your reach

>You realized, sadly, that you were in fact reluctant to let her go

>You realized on the heels of that thought that this was no passing fancy

>You couldn't decide whether you liked the fact or not

>”Anon, I've been thinking about something,” she said, standing up

>She began pacing the room, still talking to you but looking at nothing in particular

>”This... system of ours-”

>”'Ours', as in your own, or 'ours' as in you and me?” you cut in snarkily

>She shot you a stern glare, and you laughed at her annoyed expression

>She sniffed, and went on. “Both of us, I mean. You tend to my hooves, which apparently has some factor of enjoyment in it for you, and pleasure for me. It seems a service which is ill-kept to only ONE individual”

>You shrugged

>“Well, Luna,” you replied, “it's not as if other ponies... search for my... 'services', as you put it”

>She spun around and looked at you

>”Perhaps this is because many ponies don't realize the FUN to be had!”

>You raised your eyebrow at her

>”Yes, well. Not as if I have been around many other ponies to ask”

>Her brows drew down in... you couldn't place the expression on her face

>”You lie rather adeptly, Anon,” she said flatly. “For I know of at least one other for whom you have done this thing”

>Your eyes widen slightly in panic

>How did she...?

>”The dreams of one pony in particular struck a chord with me. One whom you visited a few days ago”

>ho

>ly

>shit

>You're pretty well fucked

>”L-Luna,” you stammered defensively, “I can ex-explain...”

>Her face changed to confusion

>”Explain what, exactly, Anon?”

>You weren't sure what to make of her change in emotion

>”Well, you see... uh, Rarity wanted me to... we were just talking about my clothes, and...”

>You trailed off, not sure how to continue

>She looked at you, raising a hoof and circling it in a bid to keep going

>”Annnnd...?”

>You swallowed nervously

>Then hardened the fuck up

>You decided to be honest about it

>And fuck the consequences

>You hoped you didn't regret it

>”Well, Luna, you wanna know the truth? Here ya go: I came up with a bullshit excuse to play with Rarity's hooves, just like the bullshit excuse of showing you what humans do for 'fun'. I enjoy it, you enjoy it, and until now I didn't realize the consequences”

>You finished off with a come-at-me spread of your arms

>”Do what you will, Luna. I regret nothing”

>You were shaking a bit

>For certain, you were gonna be homeless in a moment

>Which was why you were completely surprised when Luna began laughing and clapping her hooves

>”HA!” she yelled. “Anon, you're downright BRILLIANT!”

>Your hands fell limply to your side, and you found yourself at a complete loss for words

>You swallowed a few times to regain your composure

>”But Luna... aren't you... upset?” you asked hesitantly

>”At what, Anon? I knew I wouldn't be able to go out and do it all on my own, but as my own proxy... oh, yes, this arrangement is EXTRAORDINARY!” She let out another gleeful chuckle

>Then it clicked

>Equestrians were not humans

>For them, hooves weren't an erogenous zone of any sort like humans' feet were (or could be, rather)

>And you had gained perhaps the most unlikely and yet most-perfect of allies in this socially-inept Princess

>”So, you're not like...” you led the words into an awkward silence as she listened attentively. “You're not like... angry?”

>She cocked her head to one side

>”Angry? At what?”

>”I thought you had, like, the monopoly on me-”

>She tittered a bit, and you blushed

>”Not, like, that I'm so amazing and awesome that I'm a hot commodity or anything,” you said sheepishly, but she shook her head

>”Oh, Anon,” she said warmly, “I never meant to give that impression. And you are special, in many ways”

>You were gaining too much momentum at this point to tell her that 'special' had negative connotations in some cases

>She went on ”But I could never keep your wonderful hands to myself. That would be selfish of me!”

>You found yourself thoroughly weirded out

>You had no idea where this was going

>”You see, Anon,” she explained before you could ask, “we Ponies don't really pay attention to our hooves, because they're always at work. And, unlike you marvelous Homo Sapiens, we don't have hands to really... WORK them the way you do”

>You found your mind unfortunately running away and thinking of this in a sexual sense, and felt your dick tingling a bit

>stop it boner

 

>”And what I was trying to say was that, upon seeing Rarity's dreams... Your effect was magnificent. She's so happy, and actually fantasizes about you returning and attending to her hooves again!”

>BONER STOP WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GO AWAY

>”And with that in mind, and your agreement to spend time with me as you do – despite how demeaning it must be, I never meant it to feel that way! – is something I think EVERYPONY needs at least once!”

>You admitted, to yourself, that you were more than a little flabbergasted at the change in the status quo

>And flattered a bit at Rarity literally dreaming about you touching her beautiful, soft hooves again...

>FUCK WHY ARE YOUR PANTS SO TIGHT

>And you were curious to see what Luna had in mind

>”What, exactly, are you thinking, Luna?” you asked her curiously

>She grinned broadly

>”I want you to listen to the entire plan before dismissing it”

>You nodded

>As if you could turn whatever crazy shenanigans were running through her mind down

>”Now, what if you were to become my set of hooves – that is to say, hands – about Equestria? I could direct you to ponies who need to be 'cheered up', as the expression goes, and I can think of few other methods more effective than your your own!"

>You closed your eyes, shaking your head slightly as you shot off a few quick prayers of thanks to every higher power that ever existed for blessing you thus

>Odin, you're my fucking bro4lyfe

>"I suppose..." You watched her face, hooves clenched near her face, expression full of anticipation, "I suppose I could do that..."

>She began bouncing around joyfully

>"Anon, you're simply AMAZING!"

>Yeah, you know

>Her joy was cut off by your own soft clearing-of-the-throat

>”So how exactly do we go about... doing this?”

>You couldn't find a way to describe her little mission that didn't make you feel too awkward about it

>She put a hoof to her chin in thought

>”Well, Anon, I've been thinking of this for a while”

>Of fucking course

>”So I've naturally come up with a few candidates”

>She was making this sound creepier than you ever could

>Her horn glowed as she brought out-

>Holy fuck did she really make a fucking LIST?

>No, there were only a few lines

>Still, the fact that she was this invested into the concept was discomforting

>”So, here we are,” she said, glancing at the list briefly, “I think you should first pay a visit to... Rainbow Dash”

>The reveal was somewhat underwhelming

>She looked up at you, and you must have had some of your doubt on your face

>”Rainbow Dash is one of the companions of Twilight Sparkle, Anon. She is a pegasus with a very stoic mindset, not easily admitting sensitivity, but nevertheless has had a few scenarios play out in her mind involving someone... hmmm, how would I put this? 'Playing' with her hooves while she is powerless to resist the pleasurable feeling-”

>”Okay, stop, stop,” you interrupted, clenching your eyes shut and shaking your head

>This whole thing was already disturbing you enough

>Yet it was turning you on in a way you hadn't even dreamed of yourself

>”Okay, fine, I go work with Rainbow Dash. So what, I show up and say 'I'm here to tickle you?”

>Spoken aloud, it sounded as ridiculous as you thought it would

>”Anon, I trust you will find a bit more tact than THAT...” Luna responded drily

>You shrugged in surrender

>”Fine,” you said, giving yourself up to the concept. You sighed, then asked, “Got any ideas?”

>The only answer was a predatory, ear-to-ear smile