Title:           [FR] Little Fourth of July Diddy (COMPLETE)
Author:          Hipparion
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/jULbzQPn
First Edit:      Monday 4th of July 2016 12:41:23 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 4th of July 2016 12:41:23 PM CDT

>You awake to the sound of an eagle's caw.
>It's time.
>Dislodging yourself from your M16 cuddle buddy, you hear her whine slightly.
"Don't worry baby, there are no gun-grabbers in Equestria."
>You grab your aviators from your desk and head to the bathroom.
>Shit, shower, and shave, all without taking your freedom glasses off.
>It's your right to do so, after all.
>Back in your closet, you use your freedom to choose to don your grandpa's WW2 old bomber jacket in lieu of the regular suit.
>Levi jeans protect your freedom of movement, as is your constitutional right.
>For your feet?
>Steel-toed leather work boots.
>Again, it is your constitutional right to have had these things travel with you to Equestria.
>Lady Liberty demanded it.
>Now fully dressed, you descend the stairs of your home into the kitchen.
>You serve yourself up some pancakes, bacon, eggs, freedom fries(not chips,) potatoes, and a burger.
>How can the eagle fly without nutrition?
>Due to your healthy and balanced breakfast, you are ready to take on the day.
>Speaking of which...
>You check the calendar.
>You already knew the date, but you had to do this.
>Grabbing the red marker, you scratch out today's date.
"July 4th."
>You smile to yourself.
>Freedom flies another year.
>With your hygiene and hunger dealt with, you freedom over to your gun rack.
>Well...
>Gun rack implies the guns are all stored there.
>You almost freedom'd over your Javelin while walking down the stairs.
>Anyways, at your gun rack, you survey all your choices.
>Desert Eagle has the word eagle in it...
>M1 is pretty good...
>You eye your Moist Nugget for a bit, before moving on.
>Finally, your eyes rest on your choice.
>An old refurbished French musket, shipped to the States to aid the Rebels in '78.
>Of course it was your pick.
>Open carry that freedom dispenser onto your porch to shine it.
>You grab your green beret before heading outside to stare at the flag.
>A horse stops you.
>Oh right.
>Natives.
>"M-my Anon, you certainly look... patriotic."
>Not bothering to give your enemy the time of day, you boycott looking at her.
"Of course Fluttershy, today is a very special day."
>"Oh I know mister, I read all about America place you wrote about, how they, um, 'raped the faggy Marxists' in the space race."
>You feel yourself smile, staring at that beautiful flag.
"Yep, that's America alright."
>Fluttershy rubs the side of her head against your leg.
>Technically, you could act on your Stand Your Ground laws and legally shoot her, but...
>"I also read about that 'Statue of Liberty' structure you wrote about, a-and I just wanted to know."
>"Do I look patriotic too?"
>Now hovering in front of you is a seemingly oxidized Fluttershy, holding an equally oxidized tabula ansata, and a torch.
>You pull your aviators down a bit, revealing your eyes.
>Damn.
>The Fluttershy of Liberty must see you gawking, as she smiles.
>"Is patriotism your fetish?"
>You pull her into a hug.
"No Fluttershy."
>You look into her eyes.
"America is my fetish."
>With that, you take the beautiful horse into your freedom abode.
>You rail Freedomshy to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner, Hail Columbia, Born in America, and Yankee Doodle.
>Celestia, who watched the act from your window, was so moved by the patriotism she named herself President, made Luna her V.P., formed Equestria into a democracy, and renamed Equestria to Amareica.
>And while beastiality may be illegal in America, you are not in America anymore.
>Oh, and oral sex with animals is legal in Florida.
>Thank God for America.
>Thank God for Florida.
>And finally...
>Thank God for fucking Fluttershy.
Happy fourth boys.