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"Rich Asshole Anon"

By: HeshieokFasla on Jun 29th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.82 KB  |  hits: 293  |  expires: Never
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  1. -Author's Note-
  2. A collection of shorts. Anon is rich, and an asshole. '----' denotes a break between stories.
  3. -End Note-
  4.  
  5. >Day integer in Equestria
  6. >Be at Sugarcube Corner with your brethren
  7. >You take a sip of your wondrous sugary beverage. Oh how it's good to be rich.
  8. >You adjust your monocle, looking more dapper than you thought possible.
  9. >You turn to your chums, the richest ponies in Ponyville. Even your comrade, Blueblood is here.
  10. >Suddenly, new customers arrive at the establishment.
  11. >Eurgh. It's Rarity and her band of... ruffians.
  12. >"Egads Anon! The peasantry have arrived!"
  13. "Indeed Blueblood. Let us laugh at them for not being nearly as wealthy as us."
  14. >"Good showing indeed."
  15. >You point your cane at them, chortling at the poor folk.
  16. >They immediately broke down, runing out of the store to do things poor ponies did.
  17. >Haha.
  18. >You take a sip of your sugary beverage.
  19. >Aah. It's good to be rich.
  20.  
  21. ----
  22. >Be a Rich Asshole Anon
  23. >Be at the yacht club with your comrades
  24. >Fancypants is there, Blueblood, you know. The works.
  25. >Oh blast it all. That filthy mare from Ponyville is here.
  26. >She tries so hard to be rich and fancy like you. But she's not.
  27. >She hasn't even gotten the extremely expensive spell that turns your blood into molten gold. How utterly pathetic.
  28. >Blueblood announces her arrival for some reason, but you know he's got a good plan. You'll roll with it.
  29. >Flustered, Rarity approaches him. "What do you think you're doing?"
  30. >"Just letting the world know that RARITY'S RATES ARE FIVE BITS FOR ANYTHING!"
  31. >Soon enough, colts are lining up for a chance at her. Poor, sure, but she's not ugly.
  32. >Though you must admit you've seen prettier mules.
  33. >You laugh with your chaps as she tries to debuff the rumors. But it's too late.
  34. "Good showing, Blueblood. That'll teach that commoner not to interfere with our yachting."
  35. >"But of course."
  36. >You chortle nobly, adjusting your monocle and tophat.
  37. >It's good to be rich.
  38.  
  39. ----
  40. >Be a Rich Asshole Anon
  41. >Be looking for locations to expand your extremely valuable businesses
  42. >Who knew [REDACTED] made so much money? Do ho ho.
  43. >You arrive at the build site, finding a scuffle.
  44. >That silly country mare, Applejuice or something is trying to get rid of your workers.
  45. "What's going on here?"
  46. >"You tell me, partner! You've got all these workers here trying ta cut down mah livelyhood!"
  47. "This is my land, though."
  48. >She glares at you. "What the hey do you mean?"
  49. "You're behind on payments, so I bought it from the bank. Sorry. Except I'm not sorry. Do ho ho."
  50. >"W-what? No! Ah was only a day behind! Please! These are our best trees!"
  51. >You ponder this for a second.
  52. "Nah."
  53. >And then you had the farm paved over. Soon there'd be lots of [REDACTED] stores.
  54. >You became even richer. You bought another blimp, and flew it around for a day before retiring it.
  55. >Ah, it's good to be rich.