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"Icecream Anon" (Clop)

By: HeshieokFasla on Jul 13th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 9.12 KB  |  hits: 258  |  expires: Never
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  1. -Author's Note-
  2. An experiment/CYOA from the Skypechat. Weird shit ensues
  3. No cows were harmed in the making of this fanfiction
  4. -End Note-
  5.  
  6. >It's a lovely day in the magical land of Equestria
  7. >You're all cheerful and happy because nothing can possibly go wrong
  8. >You go outside, on a lovely walk. Everything is sunny and great!
  9. >Hey look! Ponies!
  10. >In the distance you see a bunch of ponies playing and being happy. You aren't sure what game they're playing, though.
  11. >Further down the road is an icecream truck.
  12. >Where do you go?
  13. >Oh well. The ponies can play without you. Icecream time!
  14. >You head further down the road, ready to get some fantastic icecream.
  15. >There's a small lineup. You take a spot behind a blue mare.
  16. "Hello! Getting some icecream?"
  17. >"Yes."
  18. >You try to start up some more conversation, but she's not interested.
  19. >Oh well. Now you're at the front of the line
  20. >Too bad they only have chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Well, this ain't no Dairy Queen.
  21. >You order up some vanilla icecream, which the unicorn running the shop quickly passes to you.
  22. >You take a liberal bite into it, savouring it's vanilla flavour as you reach into your pocket to pay.
  23. >Wait. Where's your wallet?
  24. >Uh oh. You don't have any way to pay her.
  25. "I'm sorry, I must have left my wallet in my other pants pocket."
  26. >"You can't just take my icecream! Give it back!"
  27. "But I already had some..."
  28. >"Too bad! The icecream is mine!"
  29. >The mare is fiercely glaring at you. You instinctually take a step back.
  30. >You glare back.
  31. "Fine! You want your icecream? Here!"
  32. >You toss the icecream into her face, blinding her. She yelps out in surprise.
  33. >Of course there would be other ponies behind you that freak out from your shamfur dispray.
  34. >Oh well, time to book it!
  35. >You run off, the icecream pony still recovering from your assault.
  36. >However, then you hear the rev of the engine behind you.
  37. >You steal a glance.
  38. >Oh FUCK! She's driving after you! Without hands! She can't steer!
  39. >You round a corner into Ponyville proper, but she's hot on your tail.
  40. >You make it to the market, but her fairly slow truck is catching up.
  41. >You could probably slow her down if you throw a stall into her way.
  42. >You continue rushing past, eventually cutting over and tipping a stall right into the trucks path.
  43. >Of course, you picked Applejack's god damn stall for his. Fuck.
  44. >The truck comes to a stop in front of the stall, not damaging the fruit.
  45. >However, now you have an enraged Applejack chasing you, and she's much faster.
  46. >"Y'all will pay for that! Those were mah babies!"
  47. "Your children are apples!"
  48. >"Damn right they are! Have at you!"
  49. >She pulls a rope out of nowhere and forms a lasso, spinning it overhead.
  50. >Given no other options, you do a sharp turn into an alley, barely avoiding the lasso.
  51. >Damn, that was too close...
  52. >You continue to rush through the alley, not expecting Applejack to just give up on you.
  53. >Crazy mares. All of them.
  54. >Today was supposed to be a good day.
  55. >You walk out, once again in the light of the sun.
  56. >Hm. No sign of AJ behind you, or the icecream truck.
  57. >Well, there were those ponies playing before. Hm.
  58. >Well, there's nothing else to it. Home you go!
  59. >You open up the door and head right inside, getting a can of cocaine-o-cola before retiring to your living room.
  60. >However, something seems... wrong.
  61. >You sniff at the air. Is that... chocolate?
  62. >Then you hear hoofsteps upstairs. Uh oh.
  63. >Someone is in your house! Oh no!
  64. >Right now you're only armed with your lovely cocaine-o-cola can. It's still full; not even opened.
  65. >No one can find your collection of strange porn! No one!
  66. >Holding your carbonated drink at the ready, you slowly and quietly head upstairs.
  67. >That's when you see it.
  68. >Icecream. All brands. ALl types. On the walls.
  69. >On the floor. Even the ceiling.
  70. >Someone has been painting your house brown and pink! NOoooOOO!
  71. >The hoofsteps are coming from your bedroom.
  72. >It takes all your effort to not break down and cry. It took you metric centuries to paint these walls!
  73. >Damn this icecream mare! Damn her!
  74. >You shoot a glare at your door, but then look at your can.
  75. >Yeah uh... this isn't exactly an effective weapon.
  76. >You pull out your mighty bear hands and stalk toward the door.
  77. >Inside you can hear a maniacal laugh.
  78. >"That will teach him to steal my icecream! Yes! YES!"
  79. >No... Not the bed. Anything but the bed.
  80. >"Yes! More chocolate! Let this room drooooown in it!"
  81. >You turn the knob, kicking in the door. You charge.
  82. >That fucks up hard, because you slip and fall on the first step. Fucking icecream.
  83. >The mare gasps, turning to you, before slowly trotting on top of you.
  84. >Icecream covers her form. "Well, look what we've got here. The thief himself."
  85. "It was an accident! You can't blame me for this!"
  86. >"Too bad. You stole my icecream! You stole what I use to get food! Now you will be my food!"
  87. "What are you talking about?"
  88. >"You'll see!"
  89. >A hoof to the face knocks you out.
  90. >You wake up some time later in an unknown location.
  91. >You realize a few things. First, you're naked.
  92. >Second, you're dangling over a vat of icecream. A huge, spinning vat.
  93. "W-What? What's going on here?"
  94. >"I'm glad you asked, Anonymous!"
  95. >You turn to the source of the voice. It's the icecream mare.
  96. >Except, she's different. She's no longer covered in icecream. And her eyes... now they're green.
  97. >"You almost foiled my brilliant plot for control of the world. Almost."
  98. >Her horns glows, shimmering. A changeling?
  99. >"It turns out ponies really love icecream! Hahaah! But now you will BE the icecream!"
  100. "I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense."
  101. >"Any last words, ape thing?"
  102. >You're a button press away from being turned into the world's first human icecream cone.
  103. "Ew," you declare. The mare presses the button...
  104. >You're released and close your eyes. Well, this is it.
  105. >But for whatever reason, you aren't ground up into icecream. You open your eyes.
  106. >Horee shit. You've been lasso'd by Applejack!
  107. >"What are you doing?" the changeling cries out.
  108. "No one is gonna eat my Anon!"
  109. >You continue to fly through the air, slamming into a wall. Ow. You slide off, the lasso breaking apart.
  110. >You stand, and look to see Applejack and the Changeling fighting eachother.
  111. >"Anon! Help me!"
  112. >You charge the changeling, yelling out in Scottish fury.
  113. >Not that you're actually a scot. Oh well.
  114. >After a minor tustle, you manage to get into a good position to grab the shady creature.
  115. >You ROLL TO PIN!
  116. (12)
  117. >Sloppily, you get a hold onto the changeling, holding her down into the ground.
  118. >An observer would probably comment on how close your ching chang chong is to her plot.
  119. >"Heh, yer dick's pretty close to her behind, ain't it Anon?"
  120. "Shut up Applejack. Alright, i've got her pinned. What now?"
  121. >"Well, ah suppose you can just fuck her for a bit. Or throw her into the vat."
  122. "Why would you even suggest that?"
  123. >"Now, Anon, I know y'all ain't big on pon-"
  124. "No, not that. Who would ruin all that vanilla icecream? That's absurd."
  125. >"Let me go, damnit!"
  126. >Applejack frowns. "Mmm, y'all have a point. Well, if you don't want to go at 'er ah suppose ah can just knock her out."
  127. >Um. Okay?
  128. >BG Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkSbS_mMteA
  129. "Alright. Give me a second."
  130. >Making sure your grip on the squirmy changeling is firm, you position yourself appropriately.
  131. >"Wait. Y'all are seriously gonna-"
  132. "Your icecream SUCKED ANYWAAAAY!"
  133. >You thrust inside of the black creature, it yelling out in surprise.
  134. >It's not a feel you've feeled before. It's making you feel.
  135. >But not particularily badly.
  136. >You begin to get a rhythmn going, starting slow, but remaining steady.
  137. >The icecream changeling, while opposed at first, eventually got into it, her hips moving in unison with you.
  138. >Applejack just watched, half in shock, half aroused.
  139. >You pick up the pace, your width losing friction from the slurry of lubricant the two of you produce.
  140. >"Oh god... Oh gooood..."
  141. >You pause, half inside her. She blinks in surprise.
  142. "Don't you mean 'Oh Chrysalis?'"
  143. >"What? No way! That's gross."
  144. "Just checking."
  145. >You continue your assault, feeling yourself quickly coming closer and closer to a peak.
  146. >You can't tell for sure, but she probably is too.
  147. >You pull yourself almost completely out of her, leaving only the head inside. You slam in, hard.
  148. "THIS IS FOR MY WALLS!"
  149. >She yells out in either pain or ecstasy. You can't really care which right now.
  150. >You repeat the process.
  151. "THIS IS FOR MY BED!"
  152. >Another scream. You give her another giga penis thruster.
  153. >"Aaaah..."
  154. >You throw in one last thrust before going over the edge.
  155. "AND THIS IS FOR EQUESTRIAAA!!!"
  156. >She yells out as you make your weekly deposit. Her insides greedily store every last drop.
  157. "Just who the hell do you think I am?"
  158. >You pull out, a pool of fluids slowly seeping out of her.
  159. >Applejack gawks at you. "Well, Ah'll be."
  160. "Come on Applejack. Let's get some icecream.
  161.  
  162. >You had lots of icecream that day. So did Applejack.
  163. >She really liked that new flavour you came up with. It'd become a bestseller around Ponyville's mares, you're sure.
  164. >That changeling even came by for a tasting. Having a free source of icecream had it's uses.
  165. >Your harem would be the harem that pierced the legal boundries of the Equestria.
  166. >The End