- -Author's Note-
 - An experiment/CYOA from the Skypechat. Weird shit ensues
 - No cows were harmed in the making of this fanfiction
 - -End Note-
 - >It's a lovely day in the magical land of Equestria
 - >You're all cheerful and happy because nothing can possibly go wrong
 - >You go outside, on a lovely walk. Everything is sunny and great!
 - >Hey look! Ponies!
 - >In the distance you see a bunch of ponies playing and being happy. You aren't sure what game they're playing, though.
 - >Further down the road is an icecream truck.
 - >Where do you go?
 - >Oh well. The ponies can play without you. Icecream time!
 - >You head further down the road, ready to get some fantastic icecream.
 - >There's a small lineup. You take a spot behind a blue mare.
 - "Hello! Getting some icecream?"
 - >"Yes."
 - >You try to start up some more conversation, but she's not interested.
 - >Oh well. Now you're at the front of the line
 - >Too bad they only have chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Well, this ain't no Dairy Queen.
 - >You order up some vanilla icecream, which the unicorn running the shop quickly passes to you.
 - >You take a liberal bite into it, savouring it's vanilla flavour as you reach into your pocket to pay.
 - >Wait. Where's your wallet?
 - >Uh oh. You don't have any way to pay her.
 - "I'm sorry, I must have left my wallet in my other pants pocket."
 - >"You can't just take my icecream! Give it back!"
 - "But I already had some..."
 - >"Too bad! The icecream is mine!"
 - >The mare is fiercely glaring at you. You instinctually take a step back.
 - >You glare back.
 - "Fine! You want your icecream? Here!"
 - >You toss the icecream into her face, blinding her. She yelps out in surprise.
 - >Of course there would be other ponies behind you that freak out from your shamfur dispray.
 - >Oh well, time to book it!
 - >You run off, the icecream pony still recovering from your assault.
 - >However, then you hear the rev of the engine behind you.
 - >You steal a glance.
 - >Oh FUCK! She's driving after you! Without hands! She can't steer!
 - >You round a corner into Ponyville proper, but she's hot on your tail.
 - >You make it to the market, but her fairly slow truck is catching up.
 - >You could probably slow her down if you throw a stall into her way.
 - >You continue rushing past, eventually cutting over and tipping a stall right into the trucks path.
 - >Of course, you picked Applejack's god damn stall for his. Fuck.
 - >The truck comes to a stop in front of the stall, not damaging the fruit.
 - >However, now you have an enraged Applejack chasing you, and she's much faster.
 - >"Y'all will pay for that! Those were mah babies!"
 - "Your children are apples!"
 - >"Damn right they are! Have at you!"
 - >She pulls a rope out of nowhere and forms a lasso, spinning it overhead.
 - >Given no other options, you do a sharp turn into an alley, barely avoiding the lasso.
 - >Damn, that was too close...
 - >You continue to rush through the alley, not expecting Applejack to just give up on you.
 - >Crazy mares. All of them.
 - >Today was supposed to be a good day.
 - >You walk out, once again in the light of the sun.
 - >Hm. No sign of AJ behind you, or the icecream truck.
 - >Well, there were those ponies playing before. Hm.
 - >Well, there's nothing else to it. Home you go!
 - >You open up the door and head right inside, getting a can of cocaine-o-cola before retiring to your living room.
 - >However, something seems... wrong.
 - >You sniff at the air. Is that... chocolate?
 - >Then you hear hoofsteps upstairs. Uh oh.
 - >Someone is in your house! Oh no!
 - >Right now you're only armed with your lovely cocaine-o-cola can. It's still full; not even opened.
 - >No one can find your collection of strange porn! No one!
 - >Holding your carbonated drink at the ready, you slowly and quietly head upstairs.
 - >That's when you see it.
 - >Icecream. All brands. ALl types. On the walls.
 - >On the floor. Even the ceiling.
 - >Someone has been painting your house brown and pink! NOoooOOO!
 - >The hoofsteps are coming from your bedroom.
 - >It takes all your effort to not break down and cry. It took you metric centuries to paint these walls!
 - >Damn this icecream mare! Damn her!
 - >You shoot a glare at your door, but then look at your can.
 - >Yeah uh... this isn't exactly an effective weapon.
 - >You pull out your mighty bear hands and stalk toward the door.
 - >Inside you can hear a maniacal laugh.
 - >"That will teach him to steal my icecream! Yes! YES!"
 - >No... Not the bed. Anything but the bed.
 - >"Yes! More chocolate! Let this room drooooown in it!"
 - >You turn the knob, kicking in the door. You charge.
 - >That fucks up hard, because you slip and fall on the first step. Fucking icecream.
 - >The mare gasps, turning to you, before slowly trotting on top of you.
 - >Icecream covers her form. "Well, look what we've got here. The thief himself."
 - "It was an accident! You can't blame me for this!"
 - >"Too bad. You stole my icecream! You stole what I use to get food! Now you will be my food!"
 - "What are you talking about?"
 - >"You'll see!"
 - >A hoof to the face knocks you out.
 - >You wake up some time later in an unknown location.
 - >You realize a few things. First, you're naked.
 - >Second, you're dangling over a vat of icecream. A huge, spinning vat.
 - "W-What? What's going on here?"
 - >"I'm glad you asked, Anonymous!"
 - >You turn to the source of the voice. It's the icecream mare.
 - >Except, she's different. She's no longer covered in icecream. And her eyes... now they're green.
 - >"You almost foiled my brilliant plot for control of the world. Almost."
 - >Her horns glows, shimmering. A changeling?
 - >"It turns out ponies really love icecream! Hahaah! But now you will BE the icecream!"
 - "I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense."
 - >"Any last words, ape thing?"
 - >You're a button press away from being turned into the world's first human icecream cone.
 - "Ew," you declare. The mare presses the button...
 - >You're released and close your eyes. Well, this is it.
 - >But for whatever reason, you aren't ground up into icecream. You open your eyes.
 - >Horee shit. You've been lasso'd by Applejack!
 - >"What are you doing?" the changeling cries out.
 - "No one is gonna eat my Anon!"
 - >You continue to fly through the air, slamming into a wall. Ow. You slide off, the lasso breaking apart.
 - >You stand, and look to see Applejack and the Changeling fighting eachother.
 - >"Anon! Help me!"
 - >You charge the changeling, yelling out in Scottish fury.
 - >Not that you're actually a scot. Oh well.
 - >After a minor tustle, you manage to get into a good position to grab the shady creature.
 - >You ROLL TO PIN!
 - (12)
 - >Sloppily, you get a hold onto the changeling, holding her down into the ground.
 - >An observer would probably comment on how close your ching chang chong is to her plot.
 - >"Heh, yer dick's pretty close to her behind, ain't it Anon?"
 - "Shut up Applejack. Alright, i've got her pinned. What now?"
 - >"Well, ah suppose you can just fuck her for a bit. Or throw her into the vat."
 - "Why would you even suggest that?"
 - >"Now, Anon, I know y'all ain't big on pon-"
 - "No, not that. Who would ruin all that vanilla icecream? That's absurd."
 - >"Let me go, damnit!"
 - >Applejack frowns. "Mmm, y'all have a point. Well, if you don't want to go at 'er ah suppose ah can just knock her out."
 - >Um. Okay?
 - >BG Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkSbS_mMteA
 - "Alright. Give me a second."
 - >Making sure your grip on the squirmy changeling is firm, you position yourself appropriately.
 - >"Wait. Y'all are seriously gonna-"
 - "Your icecream SUCKED ANYWAAAAY!"
 - >You thrust inside of the black creature, it yelling out in surprise.
 - >It's not a feel you've feeled before. It's making you feel.
 - >But not particularily badly.
 - >You begin to get a rhythmn going, starting slow, but remaining steady.
 - >The icecream changeling, while opposed at first, eventually got into it, her hips moving in unison with you.
 - >Applejack just watched, half in shock, half aroused.
 - >You pick up the pace, your width losing friction from the slurry of lubricant the two of you produce.
 - >"Oh god... Oh gooood..."
 - >You pause, half inside her. She blinks in surprise.
 - "Don't you mean 'Oh Chrysalis?'"
 - >"What? No way! That's gross."
 - "Just checking."
 - >You continue your assault, feeling yourself quickly coming closer and closer to a peak.
 - >You can't tell for sure, but she probably is too.
 - >You pull yourself almost completely out of her, leaving only the head inside. You slam in, hard.
 - "THIS IS FOR MY WALLS!"
 - >She yells out in either pain or ecstasy. You can't really care which right now.
 - >You repeat the process.
 - "THIS IS FOR MY BED!"
 - >Another scream. You give her another giga penis thruster.
 - >"Aaaah..."
 - >You throw in one last thrust before going over the edge.
 - "AND THIS IS FOR EQUESTRIAAA!!!"
 - >She yells out as you make your weekly deposit. Her insides greedily store every last drop.
 - "Just who the hell do you think I am?"
 - >You pull out, a pool of fluids slowly seeping out of her.
 - >Applejack gawks at you. "Well, Ah'll be."
 - "Come on Applejack. Let's get some icecream.
 - >You had lots of icecream that day. So did Applejack.
 - >She really liked that new flavour you came up with. It'd become a bestseller around Ponyville's mares, you're sure.
 - >That changeling even came by for a tasting. Having a free source of icecream had it's uses.
 - >Your harem would be the harem that pierced the legal boundries of the Equestria.
 - >The End
 

