Origin of the Universe, as told by Anon

>Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there lived two royal sisters who ruled together

>The elder, Celestia, used mustard and relish to raise the sun in the morning

>The younger, Spaghetti Sparkle, used bad clop to raise the moon at night, which the neckbeards fed upon, as the moon is cheese

>And so the duo created harmony for all of 4chan

>One night though, the elder grew jealous of the younger's likes on facebook. The Younger had gained a gigantic following, but the elder was shunned

>She was considered a troll, faggot, or combination thereof

>She went to Moot, the God Empress, but he did nothing to ease her pain.

>So Celestia weilded the Elements of Harmony, banishing Spaghetti Sparkle to the moon for a thousand years.

>However, the Moon quickly became Los Vegas, so she banished that to the Internet as well

>Unfortunately, the Jimmies Triumverate demanded that there be two royals, because Monarchies are too mainstream.

>Celestia went to her mother, Queen Victoria, for assistance. She recruited the help of Megasweet, who turned Celestia into Futa Molestia, and a new child was formed.

>The new child was Woona, and she was a faggot. The end.

 

>Woona was a massive faggot, as previously mentioned.

>She attempted to forge many creations which would make her mother and father proud.

>She created a website to share ideas. It became known as Reddit.

>She was banished to the sun for a hundred centuries for her heretical beliefs.

>However, she was rescued prematurely by the Chaos God Pinkamena, who gave her the ability to create life.

>Woona created many new lifeforms. She created Mod who banned the faggots. (Mod's first action was to ban Woona. It was funny)

>She created Sethisto, as a vessel for her faggotry. However, no physical construct could withhold all of it, and she was still a Faggot. Sethisto then create a news website which invented Cancer.

>Woona was then diagnosed with Cancer.

>Woona was extremely rustled, and went to the Jimmies Triumverate for assistance. They suggested she join the SPESS MEHREENS, which she did

>However, she did not play enough Call of Duty 7, and thus got raped by aimbot script kiddies from Taiwan. The End.

 

>Anon closed the book, titled, "The Universe for Moderation"

>He looked down at the cutie mark crusaders, who had a phletora of faces. Anon spoke

"And that's how I got my cutie mark. Any questions?"

>Scootaloo let out an unholy screach, and turned into Nurgle. Nurgle took a joint from your pocket, which was made of joints, and walked out.

>Sweetie Belle transcended to a higher plane of existance, and began to write Anon in Equestria fiction under the name Anonymous

>Apple Bloom asked if you guys seriously did this, which you said you did.

>"Well that's a buncha horse apples, Mr. Anonymous. Why the hey would Woona create Mod? Mod is a faggot!"

>Your jimmies became sentient, and became zerg. They rushed Applebloom, but she had power armor and was unfazed.

"You cannot truly believe such things. Mod is not a faggot. He is mod."

>Applebloom shook her head, while crushing a thousand ultralisks with her power hooves. "That's the same thing, Anonymous!"

>Your head exploded.

>A giant party van made of Spaghetti rolled in, though the walls. Out came Anons. All the Anons.

>A tall, metallic Anonymous looked at Applebloom, and declared, "Drop it."

>Applebloom sidestepped the Hammer Punch, and jumped into the sky

>She entered her Gurren Lagann mech, and threw a Giga Drill Breaker at the Anons

Meanwhile, in Canada

>HeshieokFasla typed away on his computer. It was wooden

>Suddenly the door broke down. It was the Milfags, and Candlejack

>Candlejack shook his head, "Heshieok, stop! You can't do that, you'll create a time paradox!"

>Heshieok reached for his Easy Button, but Candlejack was already Contempt Costanza.

>Heshieok drowned in a thousand pages of Anon x Chrysalis clop. The end

 

(AN: I'm so sorry)