- >Be AntiDrury Lane Anon
- >Wake up, get dressed. You sit on your couch, watching the TV.
- >It's not on.
- >At 11:00:00am you exit your home. You walk at an optimal pace of 12km/hour to Sugarcube corner.
- >Inside, you order exactly one dozen cupcakes with 20mL of icing.
- >Pinkie Pie brings them to you.
- "These cupcakes took 2 minutes, 19 seconds longer than they should have."
- >She smiles at you, "Oopsie! Sorry Anonymous! Hope you like them."
- >You take the cupcakes back to your house.
- >Entering your room of Science, you begin to dismantle the cupcakes.
- >You had found there was more icing than you requested. Typical.
- >You extract the glucose from the icing, and consume the exact need your body would require that day.
- >You head back upstairs. You produce your list of daily nutritional requirements. YOu check off Glucose.
- >Time for iron.
- >You sigh as scheduled for 2:00pm. You have acquired all nutrition for this day. You return to your home at 12km/hour.
- >Approaching your home, you find Fluttershy caught in one of your electron magnets as expected.
- "Interesting. You have arrived 12 minutes, 41 seconds and 19 miliseconds earlier than your standard average time. What is the occasion?"
- >"Oh Anonymous, I just wanted to ask you out. There's a party at Twilight's and I know you'd love to come."
- >You release the yellow pony. You doubt you could love a 'party,' It was such an inefficient use of valuable energy.
- >However, you see you are able to attend at for aproximately 19 minutes.
- >Refusing will make the equine signifigantly unhappy, and it'd likely use up more of your time.
- "Very well. I will attend."
- >You allocate 19.5625% of the days remaining time to prepare for the party.
- >You arrive, at 5:11. You would leave at 5:30 exactly.
- >You knock on the door, quickly entering.
- "Greetings."
- >Twilight Sparkle smiles up at you. "Hi Anonymous! Glad you could come!"
- >Pinkie is playing pin the tail on the Pony.
- >18 minutes went by in silence. A number of ponies attempted to disrupt you, but you refused to move from your position.
- >Suddenly, a gigantic rift in spacetime erupts roughly 5.9 meters away at a 19 degree angle from your current position.
- >You glance towards it.
- >Out from the rift is a gigantic golden armored being. Upon closer inspection it is a human.
- >It turns to Pinkie Pie, who summons a number of weapons out of the warp.
- >"Pinkie Pie, submit to the Imperium"
- >"No way, Emprah! I will never fall to a SPESS MEHREEN!"
- >She fires her weapons at the being. You remain in position.
- >A gigantic battle takes place. Twilight sparkle is mortally wounded, and attempts to hug your leg. You remain still the entire time.
- >Pinkie eventually falls, turned into ash.
- >The Golden man looks at you.
- >"You, my friend, are impossibly efficient."
- "Impossible is only impossible if you make it so."
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Anti-Drury Lane Anon
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