Anon and Chrysalis One Shot 1

-Author's Nose-

This 'oneshot' was an idea given by Minto. I just rolled with it. This story would take place at some point after the upcoming finale, as it's Anon's birthday again. There will probably be more.

-End Note

 

The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

One Shot: When Cakes Collide

 

>It’s a lovely day in lovely Ponyville!

>Everyp0ny is happy, everyp0ny is singing!

>Alright, nop0ny is actually singing. After a mysterious lawsuit, Pinkie Pie, the town-wide song starter was forced to stop signing for a few weeks. Oh well.

>You are Anonymous, and it’s your birthday.

>Of course, you’ve had lots of birthdays. This will be your [spoiler]__[/spoiler]th in Equestria.

>Pinkie Pie is throwing you a party! Everything is great.

>You get lots of gifts, even a lovely top hat to go with your blingin’ monocle.

“Thanks, everyone. This was great!”

>You smile at your friends, especially the newcomers [spoiler]______[/spoiler] and [spoiler]_________[/spoiler]. They were such nice [spoiler]______[/spoiler]s.

>”No problem, Anonymous! Now, time for cake!”

>Your loving changeling mare, Queen Chrysalis magics over a fairly large, black and green cake.

>You grin, eyes already devouring the sugary substances before you. The cake is place on a table before you. A knife is raised by Ditto.

>He cuts you a liberal slice. Well done, trooper! You serve your country well!

>The slice quickly ends up on a plate, though it doesn’t stay there long. What can you say? It’s good cake.

>Everyone, bar Chrysalis, is having a slice.

“Mmm, this is wonderful, Chrysalis. Seriously, where’d you get this thing?”

>She smiles, glancing to Pinkie, who was busy eating her slice. In a single bite.

>”A cake this magnificent could only be made by changeling hooves; I made it myself, just for the occasion.

>She does a pose, placing a hoof onto her chest as the compliments come.

>You don’t bother stopping her. You’ve been in the spotlight all day, after all. May as well let Chrysalis get a little attention.

Earlier that day...

>Chrysalis paced back in forth in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, awaiting a certain mare to arrive.

>Hearing a door open up, the queen turns, facing the newcomer.

>However, Inkie Pie is not the p0ny she was expecting. “Inkie? Where is Pinkie? She has been summoned!”

>Inkie rolls her eyes, “Busy with... changeling things. I’m here to help you instead. What do you want?”

>The queen sighs. “Will you just go get her? Ditto can ride her posterior after I’m done here.”

>Inkie chuckles to herself, ignoring Chrysalis’ demanding tone. “Heh, I never thought I’d hear you say ‘posterior.’ Either way, it’s a no go. Now, what exactly do need help making?”

>The queen groans, feeling a migraine coming on. “A cake. A birthday cake, to be precise. For Anon.”

>”Why did you wait until today to make his cake? You realize the party is in, what, ten hours?”

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes. “Come now, it’s just a cake. How long could it possibly take?”

>It’s Inkie’s turn to groan, as she approaches the counter. “Well, at least you’ve got the ingredients... wait. What is this?” She grabs (through some sort of arcane magic) a box, holding it up so the queen could see.

>”Oh? What about them?”

>”This stuff does not go in cakes. Why would you even bring this here?”

>”Anon likes them. And so do I, for your information. It’s a changeling delicacy.”

>”Ditto brought these over once. I was puking for days. This shit will not fly with your guests.”

>Chrysalis laughs at her. ”Ha! Puking for days. That’s rich.”

>”Chrys, do you want my help or what? You’re doomed to fail without me.”

>Chrysalis laughs once again. “Please! The queen of the changelings does not need /your/ help. You are just a lowly sniper; this isn’t even your special talent!”

>”Alright. Guess I’ll be at the pub, since I can’t watch my shows upstairs. Seeya.”

>Chrysalis turns away from her, giving no answer to the upstart mare who dared question her abilities.

>Inkie paid this no mind, casually trotting off to the door. Chrysalis opens one of her shut eyes, looking at the gray pony.

>”Alright, fine, you win. What do we do first?”

>Inkie turns to her, an evil grin painted onto her face. “Let’s get started...”

>The mare saunters over to her mysteriously, her devious grin not leaving her face. Chrysalis cringes, not liking it one bit.

>And then Inkie begins to sing. ”♪All you have to do is take a cup of flou-♪ “

>”Really? Did Pinkie put you up to this? Please, just stop.”

>Inkie frowns. “Come on, it’s not that bad... is it?”

>”Yes actually, it’s completely out of tune and everything. I’ve heard Pinkie’s version. Never again.”

>Inkie rolls her eyes. “Fuck you, Chrysalis. Anyway, two cups of flour. ..”

>An hour later, the duo had successfully created a chocolate cake.

>Wisely, they had made two; one for Anon and another to test. Can’t be serving a shitty cake, after all.

>The take a bite of the test cake. It’s... okay. Not the best thing ever, but it could have been worse.

>”Success! Thank you, Inkie.”

>Inkie shrugs. “You owe me. And I think I know how you can make it up to me.”

>”...What do you want?”

>Inkie gives her a seductive grin, unnerving the queen. “Let me sing a song.”

>”Fine.”

>And so Inkie serenaded the changeling queen to a lovely tune. A tune known only by the name... Baby.

>[spoiler] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kspPE9E1yGM[/spoiler]

>After a painful 3:35, Chrysalis was considering ripping her ears off. Inkie simply could not sing. At all.

>This narrative can’t even emphasize enough how horrific Inkie’s singing voice is.

>Think Rebecca Black without the autotune. While gargling woodchips. That are on fire.

>Banshees would run in terror from a single note. It would shat-Alright, yes, you get it.

>Anyway, another hour of frosting later, the cake was ready. With some help, Chrysalis had it boxed, and held it up in front of her, smiling happily at her work.

>”Thanks again. And never ever pick up a microphone. You might kill somep0ny.”

>Inkie grins darkly. “Good to know...”

>The queen steps out of the kitchen, into the main hall. Sugarcube Corner was actually closed that day, for... reasons, and thus no one was around to really get in the way.

>Except, of course, Pinkie Pie, who was just then bouncing in.

>A few things came of this. Firstly, Chrysalis’ grip on the cake failed. Secondly, Pinkie bounced up into the box from below, sending it below. And finally, Ditto, ever faithful commander of the Changeling Swarm’s armed forces, was it a perfect position to catch the cake as it left the safety of it’s cardboard container.

>With his face.

>Chrysalis looked on in horror at the changeling, who prior to being caked, looked quite violated.

>He blinks. “Hm. This almost makes up for... today.”

>Pinkie smiles sheepishly at the changeling, who glared at her, not even noticing the strange black belt she had on.

>Inkie’s singing is bad. But Chrysalis’ screaming is much worse. Much, much worse.

>Oh well. At least they had more supplies.