Anon and Chrysalis Ch28

Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 28: This is chapter twenty-eight

 

>Today is a bad day.

>Because today you’re moving. And moving is bad.

>And why were you moving? That answer would require you to go back long, long ago.

>You had just gotten home from your brief stint in Canterlot, Chrysalis somehow having tracked you down to the glowing capital.

>She had assured you that ‘Luna will no longer bother you.’

>While normally you would scold the mare for being so harsh to the poor pony princess, you had other things on your mind.

>Like the gaping hole in the side of your house.

“Chrysalis, seriously, what in the fuck?”

>Slowly, you turn to her, your fucks all being given at once. Sure, one internal wall was bad, but... Christ, why'd it have to be you?

>The changeling queen smiled nervously. “Just a little accident. Don’t worry, I’ll have it fixed!”

“That’s what you said about the first hole. And my TV. Tell me, where exactly are those devices?”

>She opens her royal maw to decree for you an answer, but nothing comes. You sigh.

“Seriously, Chrys, at this rate I’m going to need a new house...”

>A pause, followed by Chrysalis gasping, an idea coming to her. “That’s perfect, Anon! Why didn’t I think of it earlier?”

“...What are you... Alright, hold the phone, Chrys, I was just—“

>”Calm yourself, dear. I will handle EVERYTHING! Just you wait; soon you’ll have a lovely new home! A palace fit for a king!”

 

>Uh, right. That’s not going to happen.

>Because, as you saw in the lovely city of Canterlot, Castles are too damn big.

>Even if you went and hired on a massive staff of servants, you still wouldn’t be comfortable in a gigantic block of stone.

>For the next few days you’d actively voice these complaints to the your queen, slowly getting concessions from her, primarily the whole ‘palace’ thing.

>However, she was firm when it came to not just renovating this old hut. Nope, it had to be ‘new and shiny.’

>The problem with that, of course, was finding a place to put it.

>Derpy had suggested you ask the mayor about the whole thing, which you figured would be wise. You wouldn’t want Chrysalis’ royal servants to start hauling rocks around, only for the mayor to say no.

>Patiently, you waited in the town hall’s lobby. The mayor was just about finished with her currently meeting, and would see you next.

>You feel a soft punch go into your shoulder. ”Cheer up, Anon. In a few weeks, you’ll have Equestria’s most maginificent home!”

“A few weeks? We both know that a ‘palace’ can’t be made that fast.”

>”You’d be surprised, Anonymous. Anyhow, just let me do the talking, and we’ll be finished here nice and quick. Alright?”

>You shrug. [spoiler][/spoiler]“Meh.”

>A short wait gained you access to the office, which you found a bit cramped.

>”Ah, Anonymous, your majesty, come in.”

 

>You take a seat in a nice chair, while Chrysalis remains standing, likely to look down on the elected official.

>This quickly worries the mayor, the fear obvious in her eyes. “So, how can I help you?”

>”We need to get your approval for a construction project. We’re making a castle—“

>You cut in. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Mansion is more accurate.”

>Chrysalis shoots you a look, before turning back to the mayor. “Anyhow, we need a spot to build it. Anonymous says that it’d be rude to build on top of the entire east end or town, so...”

>The mayor stares at you, incredulously. You shrug.

>”Well...” the mayor begins, “I’m glad you came to me about this; there’s a lot of paperwork I’d need to go through to get you build rights. Do you have any specifications?”

>Chrysalis’ horn lights up, a number of documents rising out the bag she had brought with her.

>You spent most of the meeting sitting in silence, occasionally cutting in when Chrysalis had fucked up.

>Generally though, it went well. The mayor didn’t even seem all that scared anymore.

>Before you even knew it, things were wrapped up.

>”Well, your majesty, I’m glad we’ve been able to come to an agreement. I’ll get back to you in a week or so, and then—“

>Chrysalis glares at her. “A week?”

>The mayor gulps. “Er... T-Tomorrow. Haha...”

>”Good. Very good. Come, Anonymous, we have planning to do...”

“Planning? Are we actually planning, or is that just what you’ve decided to call it now?”

>She smiles. “Maybe a bit of both.”

 

>A few days later, you, Derpy, Dinky, Ditto, and of course, Chrysalis met with at what would eventually be your new home.

>As of now, it was just an empty plot of land. There weren’t even any trees.

>Derpy made sure to point this out. “...This is going to be your new house?”

“Eventually, yes.”

>You glance over to Chrysalis, who was over with Ditto, talking to who you figured was the foreman.

>Still, you weren’t certain about the whole thing. You liked your house, despite its flaws.

>Though, thinking it over, you can see it being a logical thing to do. May as well get used to a bigger place.

>Plus, it wasn’t THAT big. The mayor, despite caving in to most of Chrysalis’ demands, didn’t actually give you a gigantic plot of land, and you had made sure to get a big backyard in.

>Not having one before was pretty annoying, really. How were you supposed to have barbeques?

>...Well, for one, you’d need an actual barbeque grill. Thus far, you hadn’t seen any.

>No matter. You decide to explore the little camp, leaving Chrysalis to... yell at her minions.

>Derpy and her daughter following right behind, you approach a group of changelings who are magically putting some... stakes into place.

“Uh, hey there. How’s it going?”

>”Fine.” The speaker doesn’t even turn to face you. How quaint.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it. Try not to mess up my house, alright?”

>One of them gives you a look. ”This is the queen’s home, creature.”

 

“...No, it’s mine. The queen lives with me.”

>The worker rolls his eyes. “You shouldn’t just go around lying. It will reflect poorly on your people.”

>You smile to yourself, watching as the changelings head off to work on something else.

>Chrysalis had been fairly secretive about your relationship, not wanting a certain elder of hers to find out and begin wreaking havoc.

>But you knew that eventually these little creatures would be working for you.

>Though, probably with not as much morale...

>Not that you’d really have much use for an army of serfs.

>The construction continued on and on, with you hiding out in your diapilated home, more or less just finding ways to kill time.

>Chrysalis was quite useful for this.

“Hey, Chrysalis, I was thinking...”

>”Really now? Oh, do tell.”

“Remember way back when, when you tied your hair back? I think you should do that again.”

>She frowns. “Eh, I don’t think so. There’s a reason I stopped doing it.”

“Trust me, it looks good.”

>”Well, I don’t think it does!” You stifle a laugh, the mare glaring at you.

“How about you just cut it shorter, then? I think you’d do well with a new style.”

>She rolls her eyes, shifting in her spot on the couch. “Like you’d know anything about style...”

>Not every interaction was so hostile, of course. You had lots of tender moments.

>Though, thinking back, you can’t actually recall any of such moments right now. Hrm.

 

>Then again, right now you were still a bit upset.

>The day before, Pinkie had come by. That was a fairly common thing, what with Ditto living here.

>”Hi, Anon!” she says as you open the door.

“Oh, hey. I’m guessing you want to see Ditto?”

>”Yep!”

>She looks at you hopefully, her eyes big blue globes of joy. It’s hard to not smile back.

>But you’re a pretty hard fellow.

“Well, he’s not here.”

>She frowns. “Oh. Where is he?”

>You shrug. What were you, his butler? You don’t keep track of the guy unless you need him.

“Not here, Pinkie. You want to just wait for him?”

>She grins, zooming past you. Yeah, that probably wasn’t a good idea...

>Oh well. You can’t exactly throw her out now. You close your door and head over to the living room, seeing that she’s taken a spot...

>...right in /your/ chair.

“Uh, Pinkie? That’s my seat.”

>She blinks, looking down at the lovely, but increasingly worn out, chair. “Oh. Sorry.”

>With a single bounce she lands on your couch. Heh.

“Anyway, I’m getting some early packing done. Try not to break anything?”

>”Okie Dokie Lokie!”

>You linger for a bit, slowly backing out of the room, just to make sure nothing goes wrong.

>Confident that Pinkie will behave, you head back upstairs to continue packing up various possessions.

>Thankfully, there were no worrying sounds coming from downstairs, leaving you to work in peace.

>For awhile...

 

>But as you finished packing up all of Chrysalis’ silly outfits, you heard what sounded like a plate shattering.

>While, thanks to Derpy, that sound isn’t exactly infrequent, you still aren’t happy to know someone is breaking your dishes.

>Especially since the pony doing the breaking was told explicitly not to break anything.

>Sighing, you make your way downstairs to see what wonderful mess there’d be to clean up now.

>It’s much worse than you thought.

>Where Pinkie once stood, there was some sort of white, floury ghost. In fact, almost the entire room had a light coating of flour.

“Pinkie, seriously, what the hell is this?”

>She smiles at you. ”I’m making a cake! Sorry about your plate!”

>You just glare at her as she shakes herself like a dog, removing most of the flour from her coat and mane.

“...Pinkie, why the hell are you making a cake?”

>”Weeell, Inkie gave me this new ingredient to try out in a cake, so I thought I’d come make it with Ditto, but since he wasn’t here I figured I’d just make it for him, so we could eat it together when he got home!”

>She grins proudly. You just roll your eyes.

“That doesn’t explain all the damn flour. I don’t even own this much.”

>”Oh, I brought my own!”

>She points over to a flour covered saddlebag which you’re pretty sure she didn’t have when she got here.

>You sigh, entering the floury room, reaching for your broom. It’s also covered in flour.

 

>Some hours of almost pointless sweeping later, your kitchen looked at least partially clean.

>Sure, there was still flour on the ceiling, but you and Pinkie both agreed that disturbing it wouldn’t end well.

>Ding!

>”Oh! My cake's done! Yay!”

>You give her an annoyed look, but she ignores it, instead heading over to get her cake.

>It definitely looks... special. Heart shaped and everything.

“Uh, nice cake? What flavour is it?”

>”Tasty flavour! It’s going to be the best cake Ditto’s ever eaten!”

“What, I don’t get a slice?”

>She turns back to you, perplexed. “Why would you get a slice?”

“Because it’s my house, my stove, half my materials, and my damn kitchen?”

>She ‘hm’s, considering your arguments, quickly coming to a conclusion. “Sorry, Anon, this one’s for Ditto. But I know how I can make it up to you!”

>You glare at her, unhappy with her choice. Thanks to Chrysalis’ almost daily dose of angry looks, yours are now just as fierce, if not more so.

>Sadly, Pinkie is immune to such gestures. Defeated, you cross your arms expectantly.

>She smiles. “Weeell, you know how you’re moving to that big mansion castle thing?”

“...Is this going where I think it is? Because I don’t like the sound of it.”

>Your poor choice of words activates her sad mode, puppy dog eyes and everything.

>And, try as you might, your will wasn’t strong enough to resist her requests.

>Still, you didn’t like the idea of Pinkie throwing you a moving party...

 

>However, she Pinkie Promised that Inkie (who would obviously show up) would behave, and not make this Vegas II: Electric Roofies.

>You didn’t feel very assured. Pinkie always keeps her promises, but could she really control her rebellious sister?

>Only time would tell...

>For now, Pinkie went on to decorate her newly baked cake.

>Not wanting another flour incident, you stood nearby in a corner, watching her work.

>The mare’s almost a blur half the time. Rainbow Dash would be jealous for sure.

>Time went by, and only when you heard the sound of your door opening did you realize just how long it had been.

>Damn, does time fly. “Who’s at the door, Anon?”

>You glance over, seeing Ditto and Chrysalis walk in. Your marefriend smiles as she sees you.

>A few minutes of happy greetings later, your group had relocated to the living room. Ditto was quite surprised by the cake Pinkie made for him.

>You were still curious about that secret ingredient, though. Especially considering who it was from.

>”So, Anonymous, how was your day? I trust you’ve packed all of my possessions?”

“Um... not quite.”

>She puts on such a disappointed face. It actually makes you feel bad.

>The queen gets up from her seat, magically tugging on you. “Well, let’s get that done, then. Enjoy your cake, Ditto.”

>”I shall!” he said, hovering a number of utensils in the air before him with his magic.

 

>You were probably five steps out of the room when a massive explosion shot out, causing Chrysalis to shriek in fear, jumping into your arms.

>Safe to say, you don’t hold her very long, the mare’s weight being far higher than what you could ever dream of lifting.

>Thankfully she doesn’t crush you under her girth. Grunting, she rolls off of you.

“Please don’t do that ever again.”

>”Shut up, Anon. You know you prefer it when I’m on top.”

“How about we check on Pinkie?”

>You did just that, rushing over to your living room, which was now coated in a brownish goo. The cake exploded?

>Pinkie and Ditto just blinked in shock, also covered in the substance. Slowly, Ditto licked his lips.

>He smiles. ”Mmm... chocolately.” Pinkie grins, happy to know her lover enjoyed the food.

>You weren’t so happy though. Why would you be?

>Your armchair had been pretty much stained to shit by that explosion. There’d be no saving it.

>It takes them both a second to see your face when.

>Pinkie shrinks back from your piercing eyes. “Why don’t we uh... go somewhere else.”

>”A good plan... We shall, uh... yes.”

>They rush past you, hooves getting some chocolate into your carpet. Chrysalis frowns at you.

>You cut her off before she can comment on the strange occurrence.

“Let’s just pack your damn shirts, okay?”

>She nods uncertainly. “Right.”

 

>You got right to work, packing up just about everything. With your hands and her magic, you were unstoppable.

>At least when it came to folding shirts. Where did she even get these things?

“Seriously, Chrysalis, what is this thing?”

>You hold up a black t-shirt, which had white text reading ‘Bitches don’t know about my human.’

>”It’s a shirt, Anonymous.”

“Yes, but why do you own this shirt? Why would you even wear black?”

>She, of course, misses the point. ”Are you saying black doesn’t look good on me, Anonymous?”

“Chrysalis, you ARE black.”

>”So I’m ugly then? Is that it?”

>By now she’s all up in your face, anger on the rise. What the fuck, man?

“No, Chrysalis, you aren’t ugly. Why would you even think that?”

>She narrows her eyes for a moment, watching you. You give her a nervous smile.

>”Just making sure.” The queen smiles. You had apparently passed some sort of test?

>You roll your eyes. She’s clearly not good at this game.

>Together, you continue to pack up all of your combined clothing, bar another outfit for you to put on tomorrow. That’s when Chrys decides to tell you something rather important.

>”Just a heads up, Anon. I’ve got a few ‘important political figures’ coming over to our palace tomorrow. I expect you to be on your best behaviour!”

“Um, what? But Pinkie is putting together a party tomorrow...”

>”You’d better have her cancel, then. Because I can’t.”

“Have you ever tried to cancel a Pinkie party? It’s not possible.”

 

>And that was why today is a bad day. You’re double booked.

>Chrysalis had become increasingly stressed out by this. She barely got any sleep.

>And by proxy, neither did you. She couldn’t have just stayed still, huh?

>After eating whatever you had left in your fridge with all of your housemates, you began to fetch all of the various suitcases and boxes of objects.

>Rainbow came by to help as well. You were glad to see her.

>Still, you were worried. Chrysalis never took well to public embarrassment, especially not on this level...

>Your thoughts were interrupted by a tapping on your shoulder, through.

“Hm?”

>Hovering just in arms reach was a changeling mare, one that seemed a bit familiar...

>She had a message with her. A message for Anon? How sweet!

>You take it from her, skimming over it’s contents. All of those political folk would be arriving at the same time. And quite early too...

“Hey, thanks. By the way, have you seen Ditto?”

>”Uh, I think he’s outside or something. Why?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

>You rush off, leaving her to her own devices. Knowing how hectic Derpy’s schedule is, you expected her to buzz away and deliver something else.

>Outside you spotted Chrysalis sitting in a fancy, roofless carriage. Ditto, Rainbow and some other movers helped pack everything into the back.

>Chrysalis can’t seem to get enough energy to smile on seeing you.

>Her mood changes significantly when she gets a chance to read it.

 

>”Perfect! This is wonderful news!”

>Her smile proves contagious. You can’t help but grin at her.

>She turns to Ditto, passing the note to him. “Go find your little lover and tell her to reschedule. I don’t want her antics interrupting this. Go!”

>He nods before taking off toward Sugarcube Corner. God be with him.

>Derpy and Dinky exit the building shortly after with the last box. It’s got a ‘top secret’ written onto it’s side.

>Oh god. Please don’t let that be what you think it is.

>Chrysalis seductive grin tells you that it is. “We can’t leave your /favourite/ articles behind, right, Anon?”

“Why did you make that stuff again?”

>You get into the carriage beside her. “Because I love you, Anon. Do I need a better reason?”

“No, I guess you don’t. Just... I don’t know, don’t do it so often.”

>She shrugs. “I make no promises. Now...”

>Derpy slides in beside you, Dinky sitting down on your lap. The movers begin to hook up to the cart, prepping for the long and arduous journey to your new house.

>You hadn’t actually been in awhile. Perhaps you just subconsciously wanted it to be surprise.

>Or perhaps you were afraid, if only somewhat. That place was huge compared to your old one. So much walking...

>It even had three floors. You’d be getting fit, whether you wanted to or not.

>Perhaps you’d even do some squats. Perhaps you’d eat some oats.

>You wouldn’t hear Roid Rage complaining, that’s for sure.

 

>The ride went well, with Rainbow cracking a few jokes from behind you.

>While there was lots of room in the front, she seemed keen on staying in the back.

>No matter. Reaching the end of Ponyville proper, it was another few minutes to your foreboding manor.

>Maybe you should have visited... That color scheme is a bit whack.

>Though, thankfully the green bits were toned down, and fairly dark greens too.

“...What’s with you changelings and those colors?”

>”What's with you humans and not using these colors?” is Chrysalis’ ingenious response. Typical.

>Derpy gave you a hopeful smile. “Don’t worry, Anon, I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s not like the insides are those colors.”

>The mailmare turns to Chrysalis. “Isn’t that right?”

>Chrysalis nods quickly, a little spooked from the tone of the muffin mare’s voice. “Of course. The inside walls are... white I think. We’ll paint them later.”

>The carriage comes to a halt in front of a metal gate. It’s not gold as you expected. Good.

>A golden gate will keep nothing out.

>You take Chrysalis hoof, helping her out of the carriage like a true gentleman. She appreciates your effort.

>The carriage pullers give you an odd look. Chrysalis glares. “Get our things.”

>Not wanting to invoke her wrath, they quickly get to work, fetching the various boxes and flying toward the building.

>Chrysalis takes the lead, bringing your group into the house after them. “Behold, everyp0ny! Your new home!”

 

>You can’t resist the urge to gape at the foyer. It’s god damn huge.

>Well, not that huge. But it’s definitely spacious.

>As Chrysalis previously said, the walls are a clean, pristine, white.

“Wow.”

>Chrysalis smiles, pleased by your response. “It’s quite something, isn’t it? Why don’t I give you a tour?”

>Derpy nods rapidly, “Yeah, that sounds great!”

>The queen leads you and your friends over to one of the big doors on the side of the room.

>Inside is... a kitchen/dining room. A rather big one at that. All the appliances look brand new as well.

>As it so happened, the building was eerily like your old house. Just with another floor on top.

>When you asked about it, Chrysalis only said, “I’ll show /you/ that later...” with a wink.

>Dinky had been amazed when she saw her bedroom.

>Derpy had been uncertain about her daughter staying in a separate room, but she was reassured somewhat to know that hers was right across the hall.

>All that was left was the living room. Slowly you opened up the great white door.

>And... by god. Is that?

>Slowly you enter the room, in shock. No... It cannot be!

>Chrysalis watches from behind, grinning. “There. Now we’re even.”

“Where did you even get a television that big?”

>She smirks. ”I have my sources...”

>But that’s not all that awaits you. There’s also your new... armchair?

>You take a seat in your throne like chair, Dinky quickly hopping into your lap. Just like home...

 

“I guess I’ll get used to this one...”

>”It’s not like we can use that old one. That chocolate will never come out, you know.”

>You sigh. Rainbow gives you a smile. “Come on, ‘King’ Anonymous. Your throne’s much cooler looking.”

“So I’m the king now? Well, I guess I can live with that...”

>Chrysalis smiles. “Exactly! Now you’re getting into it.”

>Your sit about for awhile, getting used to your chair. It’s quite nice, actually, with a blue tint to its otherwise pale colouration.

>There’s also a golden trim. It’s... shiny. Very shiny. And metal—

“Chrys, is this real gold?”

>”Of course. Why do you ask?”

>You just stare at her. You’re not certain whether or not to be impressed or worried. Where is she pulling all this cash from?

>Well, as long as it’s not your money...

“So, now what do we do?”

>”Well, I suppose we prepare for—“

>A fairly loud chime rings out. Is that your doorbell?

“Twenty bits says that’s Pinkie.”

>You scoop up Dinky in your arms, gently putting her onto her mother’s back.

>Silently, you head over to your grand doorway. This place really is huge.

>The door doesn’t stop ringing the entire time. Fucking Pinkie Pie...

>You open up and, indeed, Pinkie is at your door, Ditto right beside her. “Hiya!”

“Please don’t bash my doorbell in. Also, hi.”

>She trots in, gasping as she sees the magnificent halls of your palace. “Woooow!”

 

>Chrysalis glares at her. “Yes, it’s nice. I know. Didn’t Ditto tell you to come by LATER?”

>She puts a good deal of emphasis into ‘Ditto.’ He actually flinches a bit from it, despite the queen not even looking at him.

>Pinkie frowns at her. “Well, that’s when the PARTY is happening! Still need to set up!”

>”Except I have business? We can’t have you putting your silly streamers all over the place when I have important ponies coming by!”

“Yeah, for once I have to agree with Chrys. That’s a no go.”

>Pinkie frowns at you. “Well, I can’t set up in ten minutes. Even I’m not that good!”

“There’s another room over there.”

>You point toward your living room. [spoiler][/spoiler]”So go do stuff there. Chrysalis and I... something. Go.”

>She sighs. “Well, just tell me when I can get to work. We don’t want this party to flop after all!”

>Chrysalis shrugs. “I never asked for a party.”

>Pinkie smiles. “Don’t worry, Chrys! It’s going to be a blast!”

>Chrysalis doesn’t seem to think so, nodding absently as the party mare rushes over to your living room.

>Ditto is about to follow suit, but Chrysalis stops him. “Ditto, I trust you know what to do?”

>He nods. ”Yes, my queen.”

>”Then go. And do not fail me.”

>He salutes her before heading after Pinkie, the tall living room doors closing behind him.

“So... now what?”

 

>Chrysalis frowns. “Hm... I suppose I should teach you how to act around foreign dignitaries...”

“Does that mean I’ll need to shove my head up my ass? Because I’d rather not?”

>She chuckles, as does Rainbow. Derpy isn’t quite as pleased, frowning. “I think I’ll go help Pinkie...”

>And then there were three.

>”But seriously, Anon. You’ll need to be polite. I don’t want this blowing up in my face.”

“Yeah, yeah...”

>She narrows her eyes. “I’m being serious, Anonymous...”

>Rainbow frowns. “Give him a break, Chrys. He’s not going to sabotage you or anything. Relax.”

>She frowns at her. “...I suppose that’s true.” She turns to you. Smiling, you give her a pair of thumbs up.

>Rainbow smiles. “Yeah, so you two go relax and I’ll make sure those guys upstairs are putting everything away properly.”

>She flies off, leaving you alone with your changeling queen.

“So... what do you want to do?”

>She smiles seductively. “Why don’t I show you our bedroom?”

“...Don’t we have to get ready for a political meeting thing?”

>Words fail her. “I don’t get it, Anon. Why do you insist on cockblocking yourself?”

“I’m just doing what I think is responsible. We can do the nasty another time.”

>”Hmph! Well maybe now I don’t want to!” Once again, you shrug.

“Alright. So, what are some things I shouldn’t say to these... wait. Who exactly did you invite anyway?”

>She blinks. “You know... ponies.”

>The deadpan stare you give her almost pierces the heavens themselves.

“What kind of ponies?”

 

>”Don’t worry about it. I know them, and that’s what matters. You just stay quiet and everything will be fine.”

“Shall I start shopping for coffins?”

>She glares at you. “Anonymous, shut up.”

>You complied, and spent an hour or so doing just about nothing productive at all before finally the doorbell rang out.

>Chrysalis regally trotted over to the planks of wood, opening it to reveal...

>A Canterlot royal guard. Well, that’s a bit of a letdown...

>”Greetings. Her majesty has come to... discuss.”

>Chrysalis nods. “Mhm, well, where is she?”

>From your spot off to the side, you can hear a gentle laugh. “Right here, Chrysalis. And I brought some friends.”

>Some friends? Did she intercept the others? Or perhaps she grabbed up some other ponies? Oh boy, this is going to be fun.

>The Princess steps inside, looking about the room. She hadn’t noticed you yet, but seemed mildly impressed.

>Next off came some... guy. That’s the best way you could really describe it. He was an earth pony with a suit. Gray, and very mundane looking. His cutie mark was a hammer.

>Behind him came... a changeling? He was, like all changelings, black, and had a similar suit. And a top hat. The fellow oozed dapperness.

>You also noticed the apparently lack of holes in his legs. What’s up with that?

>Perhaps he’s been eating the airplane food. Who knows.

>Said changeling quickly bowed to his eternal queen, though the others typically refrain from such actions.

 

>Chrysalis frowns when she realizes no one else is coming, bar the royal guards.

>”Are the others still coming?”

>Celestia frowns apologetically. “I’m afraid they weren’t able to make it.”

>The queen grits her teeth in frustration. “Of course they weren’t.”

“They obviously don’t know what they’re missing. Welcome, everyone. Thank you for coming!”

>Celestia smiles cheerfully at you. “It’s a pleasure to be here. Quite the place you’ve got here...”

>Chrysalis glances over to you, confused. What? You can’t be diplomat too?

>The earth pony nods at you. “You are Anonymous, correct? We have heard about you.” We?

>From the other side of Celestia speaks the changeling. “Yes, indeed. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

>Oh wow! Recognition. You could almost blush!

“Thanks. Anyhow, Chrysalis, I’m sure you had things to do, so I’ll leave you to it?”

>Chrysalis nods, before leading the group over to her office, so to speak. Ditto had also gotten one downstairs, but you had lucked out.

>Or perhaps you’d get to use it too? Not that you had much office stuff to do...

>Knowing the queen, she’d probably try to do some roleplaying with you as a boss ‘punishing’ his mischievous employee.

>...

>What the fuck has gotten into you, Anonymous? This shit, man...

>You eventually notice the changeling from before is standing about, a confused look on his face as he tries to figure out what the hell you’re doing.

 

“Uh, shouldn’t you be with Chrysalis?”

>”I have things to tell that Celestia doesn’t need to know. I’m just going to wait for a change here.”

“Ah. I see.”

>There’s an awkward silence. You reach back, scratching a spot on the back of your head briefly before the changeling speaks.

>”So, Anonymous, what’s it like, living in such a rural place?”

“Eh... It’s not that rural.”

>”It’s no Manehattan. I’m Swiss, by the way. Mayor Swiss.”

“Oh, right.”

>Mayor Swiss? Have you heard of this guy? You can’t seem to recall ever hearing about—Oh right.

>He’s the mayor of Manehattan, apparently. A spy, if you recall. Small world, huh.

>You’re about to ask him what manehatten is like when a multicoloured mare flies down from the floors above. She looks like she’s seen a ghost.

>A very sexy ghost. Her face is so red, it’s a wonder she can fly at all.

>She sees you, then your companion. Swiss is rather confused by this whole thing.

“Rainbow? What’s going on?”

>”Um, well I was helping put stuff away and then I saw the top secret box and I knocked it over by accident and I saw a lot of weird stuff and I’m really sorry! I should go!”

>Despite her face being all red, she doesn’t seem to be experiencing the accursed wingboner. Well, she’s definitely not digging the Chrysalis.

>Before you can respond to that, your front door bursts open, another changeling land with a thud into your foyer. “Woah, nice place!”

 

>You turn to face the intruder, both Swiss and Rainbow looking on, utterly confused.

“Um, who are you, and what do you want?”

>The changeling gawks. Wait... isn’t this the messenger? Why is she still here?

>”You don’t remember Poly, the swarm’s fastest changeling?”

“Not particularly. Can you go?”

>She glares at you. “Come on, consort guy, don’t be like that. Didn’t you get my apology letter?”

>You raise an eyebrow. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Uh, no.”

>She blinks. “Huh...” She places a hoof on her chin, leaving to the side as she thinks. “Maybe I forgot to send it. I do that sometimes. Like the bills. Don’t you hate bills?”

>Rainbow gives you a look. “Um, Anon, who’s this?”

“I don’t even know. Probably some nobody forcing her way into my life, futilely attempting to gain some relevance despite having nothing to offer to me or Chrysalis.”

>That last one has everyone giving you a look.

“Don’t give me that. I’m flawless.”

>You gesture to yourself, your ego nowhere near as big as you’re trying to portray. It doesn’t go well.”

>Poly rolls her eyes. “Who’s this weirdo, Anon?”

>Rainbow glares at her, the embarrassment of seeing certain top secret documents dissipating. “You are definitely not talking aobut me. I’m Rainbow Dash, for your information.

>The changeling laughs. “’Dash’, huh? I bet I’m still faster! No p0ny alive is faster than me!”

>”Is that a fact?”

 

>You back away from the duo as they begin to argue about who was faster, eventually culminating in both of them rushing out your front door to settle things the pony way.

>Sanic be with them. Because then they’ll be too busy clutching their ears to come home and brag/bitch about who won/lost.

>Swiss opens his maw, about to speak, but stops himself.

>After a few seconds, he says this. “Is this what life in Ponyville is like? I do not envy you.”

“It’s gotten better. Applejack is no longer allowed within 50 feet of me, and Fluttershy has given up on her fetish seeking.”

>”Uh... right. But what did she mean when she called you ‘consort guy’?”

>You frown, thinking of a way to explain it without keying the agent turned politician to your less than politically correct status with Chrysalis.

>It turns out that you don’t need too, because just then the living room door burst open.

>You can hear Ditto yelling behind the party mare, who’s pushing in a wheeled DJ booth. “Pinkie, stop! You aren’t supposed to set up here until—“

>”It’s getting late, Ditto! I can’t just sit in there, playing spin the bottle with you!”

>She doesn’t even notice you, instead pushing the booth over to a corner.

>Ditto however, sees you, and freaks. Does he know Swiss or something?

>”Damnit, Pinkie! Why can’t you just... have the party in the living room? It’s big!”

 

>”Ditto, it’s not big enough to dance in! I spent an hour explaining the science of this! Didn’t you listen?” The pink mare’s anger is on the rise.

>Does this party really mean so much to her? Well, it’s not like she gets to throw welcome parties like this often...

>”O-Of course! I’m just—“ You cut in.

“Pinkie, if you promise to keep it down, you can do whatever. Deal?”

>She turns to you, briefly surprised to see you before grinning wildly! “Deal!”

>Her bubbly attitude returns at full force and her excitement leaks into you. Shockingly enough, you help her with a few things. But only a few.

>Derpy and Dinky come by too, lending a few hooves. Even Swiss lends a bit of magic. Everything is looking good.

>You marvel at your work. While you would probably just sit around and evade most of it, you still knew that Ponyville would enjoy it a good deal.

>Silly immature ponies.

>With everything set up, now you’d just have to wait for guests. Hopefully Celestia will be on her merry way before then.

>And speak of the devil, there she is. “Well, it’s been nice speaking to you, Chrysalis. I’ll be sure to... take your suggestions into account.”

>”It was my pleasure, Celestia. You know how I am when it comes to good ideas?”

>You tell Celestia’s smile is forced. Chrysalis doesn’t care if she knows it is too.

>The princess stops, taking a look at the fancy display. The streamers, the punch.

>It’s a lot to take in.

 

>Chrysalis glares at you. You just shrug.

>Celestia speaks. “I do believe I am missing something. Is it somep0ny’s birthday?”

>Pinkie bounces over to her. “No, silly! It’s a housewarming party! Because it’s new!”

>The princess nods slowly. “I see. Hm.” She seems to be thinking. Thinking bad things.

“Well, it’s been nice having you, Celestia. Feel free to drop in if you’d like.”

>”You know, I haven’t actually gotten a chance to see one of Pinkie’s parties in action...”

>Oh no. No. No! Please god! No!!

>”Would it be alright if I stuck around? Just to watch?” She already knows the answer to that question.

>It’s not like you can say no to the motherfucking princess. She’s Queen Bitch of the Universe, damnit.

>Pinkie squeals in glee. The princess was at her party now.

>You honestly wonder how big this thing is supposed to be. Pinkie had assured you that it’d be ‘fairly small’, but how small was fairly?

>You got the answer twenty or so minutes later, as the ponies starting shuffling in. It begins...

>Like any smart person would, you hung back, letting Chrysalis deal with most of the guests. She continually shot you harsh glares throughout the party, as you sipped on your ‘orange cider’ as Pinkie called it.

>What it really was, you didn’t know. You also didn’t care. Shit’s good.

 

>Ditto, upon seeing Inkie slip in, stationed himself at the food table, watching like a hawk to prevent any bullshit.

>Good on him. He’ll probably be able to afford a rank up, with all these bro points he’s getting.

>Rainbow and that changeling you can’t recall show up a bit later. Rainbow looks pissed.

>Something tells you that she lost. The grin the changeling has on probably means she's been mocking her for it.

>You decide to give them some space, slipping off to another room.

>Here, ponies are talking, playing and otherwise doing pony things. You proceed to chat up some ponies.

“Hey there. Enjoying yourself?”

>”Yes. This is lots of fun.”

>The mare in question isn’t doing much. Hm... A mulberry coat... Fruits for a cutie mark...

“Berry Punch, right?”

>She nods. “That’s me.”

>You frown. This is the notorious Ponyville party crasher? She seems so... tame. So normal.

>Berry seems to catch on to what you’re thinking about. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to be drinking. I quit that. For real this time!”

>She rushes off before you can question her further. What a strange mare.

>Thankfully there’s only maybe thirty or so ponies actually here. It’s actually going quite well.

>Ponies danced. Ponies played. And everything went great.

>You wave goodbye to the last pony, who happened to be Berry Punch. Heh.

>Who would have guessed that something in your life could go as planned? It’s a miracle!

 

>You turn back to the remaining ponies. While that politician fellow had left, Swiss and Celestia stayed for the good times.

>They both smile at you before sharing a look.

>”Well,” the princess starts, “I suppose I should get going. It was nice to see all of you.”

>She turns to the pink party pony. “And good luck to your future parties, Pinkie.”

>Swiss nods. “Yes, I should go too. Nice meeting you all.”

>The duo head out. Rainbow grunts. “Yeah, I guess I’ll go too.”

“Don’t be mad, Rainbow. You’re still the fast pony in Equestria.”

>She smiles at you as she leaves.

>That night you lied in your absolutely lovely new bed, your queen tucked in right beside you.

>There would be no ruining of the sheets today. Maybe next time.

>You turn to your marefriend, seeing her big, green, cheerful eyes.

>”You know, this wasn’t all that bad.”

“Yeah...”

>She leans in, pecking you on the cheek. “Maybe we should do this more often?”

>You frown. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Eh... maybe not. I don’t like the idea of a billion ponies in my home.”

>”Fine. How about a billion changelings?” You chuckle.

“For you, Chrys? Sure.”