Anon and Chrysalis Ch25

The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 25: Those who defy the homework gods will fail

 

>It was another bright and cheerful spring day in the magical land of Equestria.

>You were Anonymous, champion of poker and defender of the faith. Usually.

>And, to put it bluntly, you were pretty bored.

>Chrysalis, unfortunately, didn’t want to entertain you.

>After all the silly adventures you’ve had with her, though, you’d think... But, alas, it was not so.

>Thus, you made idle chitchat with her, as well as your other friends. If nothing else, that was something you could handle.

“So... what are your plans for tonight?”

>Chrysalis shrugs, not really paying attention to you. “I think I’ll just stay here and enjoy my shows.”

“Nothing major for once? Good to hear.”

>She smiles at you. “You can’t always have wild and crazy adventures, Anon.”

“I suppose.”

>Derpy lets out a yawn, which is actually pretty weird for her.

“Someone sounds tired. You going to bed soon?”

>”What? It’s 2pm, Anon. You can’t go to bed at 2pm...”

>She shifts in her seat. “Hm, why don’t we make some muffins?”

“If you’re going to, sure. Chrys can help too, if she wants.”

>The queen shrugs. “I’ll pass.”

>Derpy doesn’t mind it though, heading off to make her lovely muffins. Mmm...

>Some time passes before any conversation crops back up, this time from the wonderful commander.

>He was being all serious about the whole Flitter issue, but you just played him off.

“Don’t worry about it, Ditto. Flitter has been dealt with.”

>”Yes, but now Ponyville believes you and Rainbow Dash...”

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes. “Please. Anon and Rainbow won’t be doing anything like that ever again. Right?” She turns to you, eyes narrowed.

>You quickly nod. “Of course not! Let’s not be silly.”

>She turns back to her shows. “Good.”

>Ditto frowns. “I still can’t understand why Flitter would even be watching something like that happen.”

>Chrysalis shrugs once more. “I can’t understand why Anonymous wanted to have sex outside.”

“What, did you want me to bring her back to our room? We were so far out; I figured no one would be around.”

>”Clearly, you were wrong. Oh well.”

>And yes, ‘our’ room. The repair crews were fuck all useless, and thus Chrysalis officially moved in to your room. It took a long argument, but you successfully convinced her not to repaint your walls too.

>No matter. Your bed, normally huge by pony standards, did the job, and so everyone was happy. Sometimes.

>Things went back to the norm shortly after that, with the conversation dying off.

>Of course, then your doorbell rings. Sighing, you rise from your seat, quickly scurrying off to see what annoying bullshit you’d have to deal with today.

>Opening up, you find a changeling. A very big changeling that wore armour much like Ditto’s underneath a black cloak. “Anonymous.”

“Um, hi there? Who are you?”

>”I am Boreale. I was told to meet the princess at this location. Where is she?”

“Princess? You realize I’m not dating Luna, right? Or Celestia, for that matter.”

>He blinks. “No! Not those princesses. Nympha, the changeling princess. Where is she?”

“Uh, not here?”

>”Who’s not here?”

>You look behind you, spotting Chrysalis and Ditto, who probably were wondering what the holdup was. Boreale pales, taking a few steps back.

>Chrysalis walks over to you, frowning. “Oh, it’s Boreale. How was your ‘vacation’?”

>He quickly bows. “Things did not go as planned! We apologize! We will not fail you again!”

>Chrysalis just rolls her eyes, turning to you. “What is going on here, Anon?”

>You shrug. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Hell if I know. Boreale or whatever his name is just came by asking for your sister, who, as we know, isn’t here.”

>Boreale pales, believing himself to have been had. Again. “I see.”

>You shrug, closing the door on him slowly. You almost feel bad for him, but what did he expect to get? All he does is yell about change and some non-existent empress.

>So, having nothing else to do, you go back to your living room. There is a problem, however.

>Nympha, the changeling princess, is sitting in your chair. She turns to you, grinning. “Hi!”

>You just sigh, turning to Ditto. [spoiler][/spoiler]”The nymph is in. Go get the big guy.” He complies.

>That leaves you with Chrysalis, who proceeds to yell at her intruding sibling.

>”And what exactly do you think you’re doing? Who said you could come here?”

>”Jeez, sis, don’t you like seeing me? We’re family after all!”

“Nympha cut the crap and get to it.”

>She gives you a hurt look. Her acting is ‘simply horrid’ as Rarity would say, and you see right through it.

>”Fine. Right to business then.” Her horn lights up, pulling a fairly big box out from behind the chair. It hovers precariously to Chrysalis, whose stronger magic takes over the levitation.

>The queen is not impressed. “And this is?”

>”Your homework. You aren’t doing your job, and mom is mad. Better get on that.”

>She blinks. “What? Don’t I have changelings for this?”

>Nympha gives her sister the smug look of victory. “Sure, but you still have to approve everything. Mom wants this done by tomorrow, so you better get started...”

>The queen pales, her magic faltering. You wisely snatch the box before it falls.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. With Ditto and my help, I’m sure you-“

>”No!” they both say simultaneously.

“...You don’t want help? Well, alright. Don’t look at me when Cocoona comes by, then.”

>Chrysalis sighs. “Look, it’s not that. You just aren’t cleared. These documents are for changeling eyes only.”

“Shall I get the poison joke muffins then?”

>She glares at you. “Don’t even joke about that. That was a horrible experience.”

“Then why do you keep turning into a human to embarrass me?”

>”Because, it embarrasses you. And the hands. Those things are magic, I swear.”

>You both turn to Nympha, who is actually blushing slightly. Chrysalis blinks.

>”No, sister, that’s not what I meant. Go away, I’ll deal with this and send it myself.”

>She crosses her forelegs, leaning back in your chair. Yeah, no.

“You deal with the paperwork. I’ll deal with Nympha. Deal?”

>She nods. “Deal.” Then, much quieter. “And don’t tell her about us. I don’t need mother learning it from her.”

>You walk over to the chair, standing at her side. You look down at her, face expressionless.

>She looks over to you. “What?”

“That’s my chair.”

>”Well, I’m using it. Take another seat.”

“You know, I was expecting a flirty response. What, have I lost the charm?”

>”No, I just know there’s no point. Why should I even bother? You’ve got my big sister...”

>You pause. How much does she already know?

“What do you mean by that?”

>She turns to you, bitterly glaring at you. “She can turn into a human. Obviously you two are a thing, then. Why else would she keep doing it?”

“To embarrass me in a public location? I’m not attracted to ponies, you know.”

>She looks you over curiously. “What does she look like as a human?”

“Like a human female looks like. Just with a weird hair colour.”

>”Hm. Does she look pretty?”

“Does it matter?”

>”Yes. Do you have a picture?”

“Why do you want one?”

>”So I can make myself look prettier?”

“Just because you look human, doesn’t mean you are human.”

>She rolls her eyes. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re trying to get me to flirt with you.”

“Nah, just curious. Most of my stalkers don’t give up after just the one attempt.”

>She grunts. “Mom says your dick is really small anyway. That you wouldn’t be any good in bed.” Your eye twitches.

“She’d be wrong about that.”

>Nympha turns back to you, grinning. “Aha! So you are my sister’s coltfriend!”

“Except I’m not?”

>”Then how would you know my mom is wrong? Tell me that!”

>You mentally slap yourself in the face. You said way too much right there.

>Now if only Ditto would show up with Boreale and save you from possibly fucking over everything. Jeez, you’ve been talking to her for five minutes and she’s already got you in a corner.

>You’ve never been good at chess, but this is ridiculous.

“...I owed a friend a favour. She said it was good. Happy?”

>”You’re making that up.”

>You glare at her. She glares back.

“Get out of my chair.”

>”Make me.”

>Alright. You reach down, placing your hands under the mare’s forelegs. She yells out in surprise as you lift her up out of your seat. Pretty light, this one.

>You hold her up in front of you. “...Are you going to put me down.”

“Okay.”

>You drop her, and reclaim your armchair. She gets up, nominally unharmed, but still upset. “Don’t do that ever again.”

“Don’t sit in my chair, and I won’t need to. Now, why don’t you go get a coloring book and stop bugging me?”

>”How about you tell me about your marefriend?”

>You turn to the doorway, and yell out. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Ditto, are you going to yell at Boreale all day or what? Chrys needs your damn help!”

>A few moments later, Ditto entered with a very shaken up Boreale. He got quite the talking to.

>You leave your seat and brief Ditto on what’s going on. He also tells you not to let Nympha know where you’ve been sticking your dick.

>Of course, not with those words. That would be... weird.

>You nod, and return to the living room. Nympha is back in your chair.

“What did I just say?”

>She sticks her tongue out at you, her backlegs kicking at nothing over the chairs arm.

>Who would sit in an armchair on their back? Seriously, that’s just silly.

>You walk over to her. She smirks. “So, what’s her name?”

“Nympha, and she’s getting on my nerves.”

>You pick her up again, but it has less of an effect now that she’s ready for it.

>”Oh, you flatter me, Anon. But I was talking about your marefriend. Is she that pink one?”

>Pinkie Pie? Your marefriend? It’s like she doesn’t even know you.

“How about you drop it.”

>”How about you drop me?”

>You do just that, getting a glare from Boreale for your troubles. “You will refrain from harming her majesty.”

“Oh, hi Ditto the Second. Didn’t see you there.”

>”Do not try my patience. I can do things to you beyond your comprehension.”

“I’m not gay, Boreale.”

>Nympha bursts out into laughter as you take your seat again. The marine just sighs, slowly shaking his head.

>A bit later, Derpy arrives with some muffins. Thankfully, Ditto had gone and let her know what not to say. Good thing too, considering what Nympha starts the conversation with.

>”So, you’re... Ditzy?”

>”Derpy.”

>The Princess nods, casually holding a muffin in her hooves. “Right. So, what’s sex with Anon like?”

>You freeze up, unable to continue eating your muffin. Derpy flushes, turning to you briefly before returning her gaze to the upstart princess.

>”Anon and I don’t have sex.”

>She sighs. “Then who’s his marefriend? Somep0ny said he’s good, and I need to find out who!”

“Why does it matter to you so much?”

>”Duh! So I can turn into a prettier version of her and woo you!”

“Except you just told me that, so it won’t work?”

>She blinks. “Ah, damnit...”

>Derpy glares at her. “Watch your mouth, young lady.”

>Nympha pauses, unsure how to respond. “...I’m forty three, you realize. I’m probably older than you are.”

>Derpy’s glare intensifies.

>”F-Fine! Jeez! Give me a break...”

>Derpy smiles again. “Glad to see we’re on the same page.” She turns to you. “How are the muffins?”

“Great, as always. Thank you, Derpy.”

>Nympha mumbles out a half hearted thank you before chomping her muffin in half. Boreale doesn’t have any.

>”So, Anon, Derpy...”

“Yes, Nympha?”

>”If she’s not your marefriend, why is she on your lap?”

“Because that’s where she sits?”

>”...She sits on top of your crotch? And she’s not your marefriend? So where does she sit?”

>You almost tell her ‘the far end of the couch,’ but think against it. Bringing Rainbow into this shit will just rustle everyone’s jimmies even worse.

>Derpy succeeds in her saving throw, “Hasn’t Anon told you that he isn’t interested?”

>”I still want to know. Anon says my mom is wrong, and she’s almost never wrong. Ooh! I’ve got an idea!” You groan.

“Oh, this should be good...”

>”It’s simple. You take off those pants and have sex with Derpy here. You can go somewhere else if you don’t want me watching, I guess. Then, when you’re done, come back, and tell me if it was good or not. It’s simple!”

>Boreale facehoofs, while Derpy’s face turns redder than Big Macintosh.

“How about we not do that. Derpy and I are not going to have sex just for your little science experiment.”

>”Well, I’m free.” She winks at you. You facepalm.

>Boreale, for the first time in awhile, speaks. “My qu-... Erm, princess, why don’t we simply determine Anonymous’ marefriend and ask her?”

>She glares at him. “But we don’t know who is marefriend is?”

>”I could ask around, if you’d-“

“Nope! Nope, that won’t be necessary.”

>Nympha raises an eyebrow at you. “Why’s that, Anon? Do you have something to hide?”

“No. I don’t. I just don’t want you pestering Ponyville about my sex life. It doesn’t concern you.”

>She gets up from her heat, hopping down to the ground. “Come, Boreale. We have work to do.”

>This world wants to see you suffer. There’s no other way to explain this bullshit.

“Derpy, please. Take her to Sugarcube Corner. I’ll... get my ‘marefriend.’”

>Nympha turns to you. “Good choice. Derpy, lead the way?”

>Reluctantly, she does, the trio leaving your home. You’re all on your own. You sigh.

“Fuck everything. Seriously.”

>You get up, leaving your home a few minutes after they do.

>Time to go see Rainbow...

>The vengeful gods that run the universe at least saw fit to make your job somewhat easy.

>Rainbow wasn’t very far from your house. She was right outside of town, sleeping on a cloud.

>Unfortunately for her, she wouldn’t be asleep much longer.

“Rainbow Dash?”

>The mare mumbles something incoherent in response.

“Rainbow Dash!”

>She stirs, slowly opening her eyes. “Huh? What?”

“Rainbow Dash, down here.”

>She gets up, stretching out on her cloud, letting out a yawn.

>Gliding down, she stops in front of you, still a bit weary. “Hey, Anon, what’s up?”

“There’s been... a complication. Think you could lend me a hoof?”

>She yawns again. “Sure, I guess. What’s up?”

“Remember Nympha?”

>She opens her eyes wide, blinking the sleep away. “Uh... nope, not ringing any bells.” You sigh.

“Chrysalis’ younger sister. She has a thing for me.”

>”Oh, that mare Applejack whaled on, right?”

“...Yes. Her. Well, the thing is, Chrysalis doesn’t want her to know about our relationship, so I need you to pose as my marefriend for the day.”

>She frowns at you. “You want me to pose as your marefriend?”

“Yes.”

>She rolls her eyes. “Anon, I’m already dealing with lots of crap thanks to Flitter blabbing about us. If I do this, it’ll make it worse.”

>You put a hand behind your head nervously. She sighs.

“You just need to... tell her about um... that day, and then I can deal with her for the rest of it. A quick fix, no worries.”

>”No worries? Why did you even tell her I’d say that?”

“Honestly, I don’t even remember myself. I guess I fucked up. Again.”

>”No kidding.” The rainbow mare just shakes her head. “Well? Where is she?”

“Oh? Oh! I sent her over to Sugarcube Corner with Derpy.”

>”Uh, Anon? Sugarcube Corner isn’t open today.”

>You blink. [spoiler][/spoiler]“It’s not? What? Then, where did... shit. Shit shit shit...”

>She laughs. “Looks like you have some damage control to get on?”

“Yes. I do. Can I count on you for help?”

>She mock thinks about it for a few seconds. “I don’t know, Anon. I really need to practice my napping skills...” She smiles playfully at you.

“Real funny. Come on, let’s find them before Nympha shakes Derpy. Last thing we need is her interrogating the city...”

>And so you did, running back into the fray, Rainbro right behind you.

>Sugarcube Corner is indeed closed. Right outside the building is a perplexed Derpy, who seems to be missing something.

>Damn right she’s missing something! Where’s Nympha? Where’s Boreale?

>That’s exactly what you ask when you arrive. She shrinks away from you. “I’m sorry! I don’t know what happened... they just... vanished on me!”

“Well that’s great! Just great! Come on girls, let’s go.”

>Rainbow frowns. “Go where, Anon? They could be anywhere.” You ponder this, and then it occurs to you that Rainbow Dash can fly.

“Dash, you’re the fastest pegasus in Ponyville; can you fly about and try to spot her?”

>She nods. “I can do that. And if I find her?”

“Preferably grab her and fly over to me. Boreale is tough, but slow, so he won’t really pose any issue.”

>She nods again. “Right.” And then she’s gone.

>Derpy prods you, getting your attention. “So, what do we do?”

“Honestly, I’m making this entire plan up as I go. Hm...”

>”Oh, hi Anon! Hi Derpy!”

>You both blink, turning to the newcomer. Oh, it’s just Twilight.

“Hi, Twilight. You wouldn’t happen to have seen a certain changeling princess running about, would you?”

>She thinks, before nodding. “Yes, actually, she was walking off with Applejack a few minutes ago. I was about to ask you that myself. What’s going on?”

“Problems. Thanks for the heads up; come on Derpy, let’s go.”

>Derpy nods as you head off to find Applejack. She’d be at Sweet Apple Acres, that much was certain.

>Once you’re out of view, Twilight’s face becomes stone-like, expressionless.

>”Hm. Now it’s up to her.”

>You walk down the cobblestone roads of Ponyville, soon exiting the town proper and starting on the trek to Ponyville’s famous apple farm.

>You’re extremely cautious as you approach, making sure you don’t step into any pitfalls or get jumped suddenly by a change marine.

>It pays off, as you almost step into a random pitfall a few leagues away from the property’s entrance.

>Realizing her plan has failed, you hear at least two ponies calling each other out for their failure. Slowly, with Derpy at the ready, you approach the bush and the duo hiding in it.

>That’s when Applejack jumps out, ignoring a sharp “No!” from the other party. She charges right at you, rope in mouth.

>You take a step back, the mare being intercepted by Derpy. After a confusing tussle, Derpy has successfully tied up the farm mare, simultaneously muting her in the process.

“...Where’d you learn to do that?”

>”I took a self defence course last year to make sure I can protect Dinky. They were having a special, so I took the rope class too!”

>Well then. You turn to the bush.

“Alright, Nympha, you can come out.”

>Slowly, the princess exits, cautiously coming into your view.

“Now, what exactly were you doing?”

>Applejack mumbles something, but the rope around her snout holds steady.

>”Well... um... look, why can’t you just be my coltfriend? Why does my sister always get everything? It’s not fair!”

>You flinch away from the volume of her statements. You’re quite confident that she’s just doing this to guilt trip you.

>She’s a horrible actor; she’s not even cryin-Oh. Wait. There we go.

“Nympha, what are you talking about? She’s not my-“

>”Shut up! Applejack told me everything!”

“And so you thought you’d just trap me in a pitfall?”

>You turn to the cowpony, who is still unable to move or speak.

“Seriously, Applejack, how many times have you tried this? Ten? Twenty?”

>Nympha just glares at you. “Well, what else am I supposed to do? Just sit around let her win again?”

>Derpy tries to approach the increasingly agitated princess. She gets glared at for her troubles, though the ditzy pony doesn’t lose any ground because of it.

>”Nympha, can’t we talk about this? There’s no need to be trying to rape ponies.”

“Human.”

>She gives you a look. Nympha takes a few steps back. “Talk? Why should I talk to any of you? You’re on her side!”

“Nympha, you’ve got some serious issues with your big sister. You can’t just keep it all locked up.”

>”I’m a princess, Anon! I can do whatever I want!”

>You shake your head. [spoiler][/spoiler]”How about we go home, Derpy gets you some ice cream, and you cool off?”

>Nympha turns away from you, silent. The waterworks had long since stopped; only the slightest traces still remained of the few tears that fell.

“Don’t you like ice cream? Come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll even... spend the day with you, if you’d like.”

>It occurs to you that you’re being far too nice to this mare. Nympha isn’t even your friend. What has come over you?

>You resolve to cut that shit out and let that final offer indeed be your final offer.

>”...What flavours can I have?”

“What flavours would you like?”

>She turns to Derpy. “Strawberry. With sprinkles.” The mailmare nods, and, after a nod from you, heads off to get the ice cream.

“Now then, let’s go home?”

>”I still want to know what’s so nice about human sex...”

“If you must know, it’s the hands. I can do a lot of things with them that a pony can’t with hooves.”

>Instead of satiating her curiosities, it just brought up even more uncomfortable questions. Fuck.

>You do your best to avoid most of them. Besides not being things you want to discuss on the streets of Ponyville, Chrysalis would probably castrate you personally if you went into the details of her sex life.

>About halfway home, you run into Rainbow Dash, who tried, and failed, to introduce herself as your marefriend.

>”Hey Anon, um honey. Who’s this-“

“She already knows, Rainbow. Don’t embarrass yourself.”

>She blushes, laughing nervously. Nympha rolls her eyes and continues onward. Rainbow glares at you

>Her glare got harsher and harsher as time went by, with Nympha sending some of her sexual inquiries her way as well. Now you owe her double...

>And so, you returned home, taking back your seat. Derpy brought enough ice cream for everyone, even Chrysalis, to have.

>And Nympha actually seemed to be enjoying herself, though she was being quite lewd and making a lot of inappropriate jokes.

>It was like she was part of the family.

>However, thinking back, you still can’t shake the feeling that you forgot to do something.

-At Sweet Apple Acres...-

>”Mmhmf! Mmmhf!” the orange mare cried out. Big Macintosh slowly approached his sister, sighing deeply.

>”Applejack, is this one of those fetish things Fluttershy told me about?”

>The mare shakes her head, trying her best to get him to untie her.

>”Gotta say, sis, y’all’ve got some weird kinks. Just keep it in the house next time?”

>He takes one of the ropes in his teeth, effortlessly lifting up the mare, and carts her back to the orchard.

-At Anon’s House-

>Oh well. If you can’t even remember it, how important could it be?

>The day went... alright. Things got a bit sour when Dinky came home from school, what with the flurry of innuendos flying left and right.

>Eventually Derpy headed off to her bedroom with her daughter. That poor filly has probably heard more dirty language than every other one of her classmates combined.

>Except perhaps Diamond Tiara.

>Regardless, night eventually came to your lovely home, and with it, sleeping ponies.

>Nympha and Rainbow both seemed to be having a competition to see who could stay up the latest.

>Nympha won, by all of five seconds, and the duo was now sleeping peacefully on your couch. Separately, of course.

>After fetching some blankets for them, you figured you’d retire for the night as well. But first, the queen.

>You knock on the door to her study before realizing ‘Hey! There’s a hole in the fucking wall!’

>So you make yourself visible to the queen, who appeared to be just about done.

“Hey, Chrys. How’s it coming?”

>”Mmm, just this last one, actually.”

“Mind if I come in?”

>She thinks for a few moments, each blink heavy. “I suppose.”

>You make your way into the room, failing to spot Ditto. You inquire about this.

>”He was only needed for certain documents. He’s probably with Pinkie or something now.”

“Ah.”

>Chrysalis writes a few things down onto the sheet. You lean over, wondering what it’s about.

>Chrysalis glares at you.

“Sorry.”

>She sighs. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so antsy about this anyway. You’re going to be king soon, after all.”

“King? Of the changelings? I don’t recall this being planned.”

>She rolls her eyes. “What, did you expect to just be my boy toy forever? Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little commitment...”

“It’s not that. I just... never really thought about it, honestly. Would I even be able to do that job? I’m no changeling.”

>She chuckles. “No, definitely not. You’d probably just be the guy behind me. I’d still pull all the strings.”

“I figured as much.”

>You stand beside her, rubbing your hand through her mane. She smiles at you as she continues to write.

“Still, I don’t know about this...”

>”It’ll be fine, Anon. Why are you so worried all of a sudden?”

“...Well, I guess I’ve just been thinking. Humans live for about... seventy years? You’re two hundred already, and who knows how old Cocoona is...”

>She nods solemnly. “Yes... but that doesn’t really matter.”

“What about foals? I’m pretty sure I can’t deliver there either.”

>She sighs. “It’s like you’re trying to talk me out of it...”

“I just want you to know what you’re getting into.”

>She shrugs. “I’ll be fine. We can just adopt if it gets problematic.”

>You sit in silence, considering how to proceed. Chrysalis does it for you.

>”So, how was your day?”

>Fuck. Well, guess you may as well be blunt and uncaring about it, just like most other things.

“Nympha managed to sneak off and learned about us from Applejack. She’s pretty jealous of you, Chrys. You should probably talk to her.”

>She ignores the second half of your statement. “Damnit, Anon, I told you not to let her find out!” She groans.

“What’s the big deal anyway? Is there some sort of custom where I need to marry you or something because we had sex?”

>She rolls her eyes. “It’s not a custom, it’s just what mother will want.”

>Well, that just made a mess of fucking everything.

“...How should we proceed?”

>Chrysalis ponders this for awhile. “Perhaps we can convince her not to tell mother about this.”

“How would we do that? I’m not going to have sex with her, so don’t suggest it.”

>The queen laughs. “I wasn’t going to, though I suppose that would work. Hm...” She begins to inspect your appearance.

“Chrysalis...”

>”What?”

“Don’t even start with that shit. I will not have sex with Nympha. End of discussion.”

>She huffs. “Ha! I wasn’t going to tell you to do that. She’s my sister, damnit. I was thinking the two of us could... have some fun instead.”

>You raise a hand, flicking a finger at Chrysalis’ horn. Her eyes go wide from the sensation.

“Having fun?”

>She blushes slightly, smiling at you. ...Isn’t that supposed to have hurt?

>”Do that again.”

>You point to the paperwork lying on the desk. “I gave you an order, Anon.”

>Sighing, you comply. “Oh... why does that feel so good?”

“Because you have some sort of pain fetish. Isn’t what I’m doing supposed to, you know, hurt?”

>She shrugs. “I guess I’m just too tough. Anyway, I’ll finish this up and then you can do... other things with me. You can even be on top this time.”

>You just shake your head disapprovingly. Wow, Chrysalis. Just wow.

>That night was... interesting. You learned a number of things to never ever try. One of those things involved a certain hard black object in your mouth.

>Booting up morningroutine.bat, you quickly get dressed and cleaned up, heading downstairs.

>You find Rainbow is still asleep, buried underneath two heavy blankets. Nympha, however, is nowhere to be seen.

>Well, Anon, better go get a nice tuxedo. You have a wedding to prepare for.

>Shut the fuck up, brain. She’s probably just outside on a walk.

>Yep. A walk to her mother’s house.

>You try your best not to be a doomsayer, but it doesn’t go well as room after room proves fruitless.

>Finally, you begin checking outside, not finding her anywhere around. Oh fuck no.

>You head back inside, clutching your aching cranium. Why would she just leave?

>Your kitchen is uninhabited, as it would be at this hour. Sadly, you have no choice but to wake everyone up to go find Nympha.

>You open the door to Derpy’s room, flicking on the lights.

>A trio of groans greets you. Wait... a trio?

>You smile nervously as the ponies orient themselves and rise. Nympha was mysterious sleeping on the other half of Derpy’s bed.

>Derpy groans, looking up at you. “Anon? What’s going on?”

“...Nothing. Just thought I’d say hi.”

>”...That’s silly, Anon. Really silly.”

“Hello.”

>Nympha gets up next, shooting you a dirty look. “I don’t get you sometimes.” She walks out.

>You turn to Dinky, Derpy doing the same. She’s doing her best to hide under the covers and block out the light. You help her out, turning the lights back off.

“So... what’s up with Nympha?”

>”She looked cold.”

>And that’s all you get from her. Oh well, at least she’s still here.

>Some time later, all the ponies had gathered in—where else? —your living room. You’re going to need a bigger couch at this rate. Hm... maybe a leather one.

>The various ponies were having various unfocused discussions. They actually sounded friendly!

>Well, you can’t have that. Friendship isn’t allowed in this household.

“Order in the court! Order!”

>Your interesting outburst catches the attention of the ponies, which all turn to you expectantly.

>Nympha seems to be catching on to what you’re going to do, and shifts nervously.

“As we know, yesterday one Princess Nympha attempted to... let’s just go with neutralize, myself. It is up for us to determine an appropriate punishment.”

>Nympha chimes in. “Why not ask the mayor?”

“Because the mayor cannot into punishments. Chrysalis, any suggestions?”

>She thinks for a second, before declaring: “First and foremost, the knowledge she has gained about the two of us can’t leave this town. Secondly, I do believe she owes you an apology. Any objections?”

>There were none, not even from Nympha. Since when is your home so orderly?

>Not that you’re complaining. You prefer it this way. Order beats Chaos every time.

“Any other suggestions?”

>Rainbow suggests the nymph be forced to help her with weather duties (and by ‘help’ she of course meant ‘do it for her’). Seemed fair to you.

>The others agreed.

>Nympha sighed, standing up and walking to the seat of your throne. Derpy and Dinky, who sat on your lap, both managed to remain as stoic as you.

>”I’m sorry about uh... trying to ‘neutralize’ you. ...Why are we calling it that again?”

>You respond by patting Derpy’s little filly on the head. “...Right.”

>Chrysalis speaks. “Nympha?”

>”Sis?”

>”I know you’re... jealous of me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be Queen Chrysalis? But um, I just want you to know that I do care about you. Never think I don’t. Alright?”

>Nympha seems sceptical of this. “...If I agree, can I have sex with Anon? Just this once?”

>Chrysalis sighs. You groan. Derpy glares at her. Rainbow laughs. Ditto facehoofs. Boreale... where was he, anyway?

>Dinky shakes her head. “What’s with you mares and sex anyway? It seems to be all you talk about...”

“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

>”I don’t really want to understand this...”

>You nod sagely. You wouldn’t want anyone to struggle to understand your crazy life either. You turn to Chrysalis, an idea coming to you.

“Hey! This is a great thing to report to Princess Celestia, Chrys. Better get writing!”

>She moans in supposed agony. “I’ve been writing all of yesterday, and my horn is still sore from...” She stops, seeing the looks the others felt to give her. “...Never mind. Anon, write the letter for me? Pretty please?”

>You turn to your faithful changeling officer. “Hey, Ditto, think you could do me a favour?”

>Nympha rolls her eyes. “You guys are so lazy. I’ll do it.” And with that, she left the room to do just that.

>That day went well, ultimately. You even made a new... not rapist. All in all, it could have been worse.

 

>Princess Celestia reclined on a fancy cushion, going through her mail.

>Eventually she stumbled upon a letter from Ponyville, and opened it right up.

>She read aloud.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

Sometimes your sister can be a huge bitch that is better than you at everything.

She can also sometimes have a really unique boyfriend who’s good at sex.

And she can also be a queen while you’re just another princess.

But, um... where was... why am I writing this down? Um, ignore this line.

Right, anyhow, what I’m saying is that even if you don’t get along with a sibling,

you can still love your siblings, because they’re family and will always look out

for you.

Your superior student’s adorable sister,

Princess Nympha

P.S. This whole letter thing is really stupid. Just my two chunks.”

>The princess blinked, wondering how to respond. She sighs.

>”Well, at least they’re original...”