Anon and Chrysalis Ch21

The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 21: Because I’m The Best

 

>You smile to yourself, taking inventory of the ponies that have arrived at your home.

>Why would you care? And why are they even here?

>Easy. It’s poker night, the best night of the week.

>No new faces, but you’ve come to expect it. These four are the only ones stubborn enough to keep trying.

>After waiting for a few more minutes, the last member of the poker crew made it to your home.

>You were actually wondering if Filthy Rich would come at all. He always has lots of cash to lose.

>”Sorry I’m late. Wife has been complaining. You know how that is.” He takes his seat.

>Carrot Cake, who sits across from him, grunts disapprovingly. He didn’t exactly approve of how Filthy spoke of his wife.

>You keep quiet; pouring gasoline on an open flame doesn’t help anyone.

“Well, it’s good to see you’ve made it, Filthy. I was actually getting a bit worried.”

>He frowns, not appreciating you using his first name, “Oh? Why’s that Anon?”

“Who else is going to pay my rent?” You laugh.

>Caramel and Carrot Cake also laugh, though the last player, Big Macintosh, remains quiet as he usually does.

>The rich stallion grunts. “Yeah whatever. Your luck has just about run out.”

“I don’t need luck to beat you Filthy.” You point a figure at him, face stoic. “You have already busted.”

>”Shut up and deal.”

>You nod at your dealer, Commander Ditto, and the game begins.

>There would be no survivors.

 

>Some time later, you pile up your newly gained bits. Cha-ching.

>Oh Filthy, you fool. Why do you always bring all your bits to these games?

>He doesn’t seem to realize that your swag is off the charts. It’s a fact.

>Grumbling, the stallion trots out. He’d be back. He always is.

>That just left you, Ditto and the silent Big Macintosh.

“So, guess that’s the game then.”

>”Eeyup.”

“Same time next week.”

>”Eeyup.”

“...I’m guessing you’ve had no luck with Applejack?”

>He shakes his head apologetically. He rises from his seat silently.

>”See ya.”

>You nod as the big red stallion vacates your home.

>You’ve always been fond of Big Mac. Quiet. Bright. Not a fucking rapist.

>Ditto collects the cards with his magic, getting up as well. Whelp, no reason to stay here.

>Following Ditto, you enter your living room. He takes his usual seat, you taking yours.

“So, what do you want to do Ditto?”

>”It is up to you, Anonymous. I am down for anything.”

>You pick up your remote, turning on the television.

“Then let the vegetation begin!”

>He’s clearly disappointed. ”...Oh. Well I  guess I signed up for this didn’t I...”

“Shut up. My Little Molly is on.”

 

>Some time later, all your little ponies were at your home, doing whatever.

>There’s Rainbow Dash, fastest pony in Equestria. She... well, unfortunately you haven’t found a good way to tell her about your newfound feelings for Chrysalis.

>Chrysalis constantly nagging you about it when in private didn’t make matters better. Eugh.

>She really wanted you to break her heart. You know you’ll have to but...

>Well, she’s your bro. You don’t do that to bros. Ever.

>”Anon, is something bugging you?”

>You place a hand on Derpy’s head, rubbing her mane absently.

“Nah, just thinking. Don’t worry about it.”

>Derpy doesn’t seem all that happy that you’re messing up her hair. Well, she did just get it done.

>Realizing this, you stop the incessant rubbing and turn to Chrysalis.

“So, how was the spa?”

>Chrysalis, who seemed to be glistening from her treatment, smiles at you.

>”Wonderful, Anon. You really know how to spoil me.”

“Hey, I try. How about you Rainbow?”

>She grins, leaning back. “Yeah, can’t complain here. Those guys know their stuff.”

>She stretches out a bit, relaxing. Everything is going just great.

>Suddenly, Derpy yells out. Quickly moving her daughter to the arm of the chair, she trots away.

>Chrysalis blinks. “What’s gotten into her?”

“Can you ever really know with Derpy?”

 

>Everyone agrees that Ponyville’s resident mail mare is a bit out there at times.

>Derpy doesn’t take long, quickly making her way back to the room.

>She has a letter in her mouth. She gives you a mildly annoyed look.

>”I heard that you know.”

“Well, isn’t it true?”

>”...Just take the letter.”

>And so you do, taking the letter Derpy had pulled out of effectively nowhere. Hm...

>Oh god damnit... Blueblood again? It’s been what, a week since the last one?

>You open it up, not bothering to sate anyone’s curiosity. They can wait.

>Hm... Oh. Oooh. That’s not good.

>This will not end well. You can already tell.

>”Uh, Anon, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

>You turn to Rainbow, nodding your head slowly.

“Luna and Blueblood are coming to Ponyville. To see me. About our relationship. Suggestions?”

>Chrysalis grunts, “How about we go to Epsilon Hive for the day? They can’t get to us there.”

>She smiles seductively at you. Oh my, I wonder what she wants to go do in Epsilon Hive!

>You’re completely certain it has nothing to do with sex at all. Yeah... No.

“Honestly, I think it’d be best to put an end to this now. Can I count on your support?”

>Rainbow nods, “Of course! We’ll set that princess straight. Don’t worry.”

>She winks at you. Haha... Yeah. This should be good...

 

>Some time had passed.

>You sit in your bed, reading some book you obtained awhile ago from Twilight’s library.

>For whatever reason, reading helped you get to sleep. And here you were.

>But, your reading would not be so. Somep0ny is knocking on your door.

>You don’t even get a chance to come open the door, with Chrysalis simply unlocking your door with her magic.

>That would become a problem. No doubt about it.

>And in she came, the changeling queen, resting her royal behind on your bed. Not even going to say hello Chrys? For shame.

“Hey there...”

>”Hello Anon.” She gives you a seductive smile, making you somewhat nervous.

>This little exchange had become routine for you. Every night she’d come into your room.

>And every night she’d try to get you into her. It was understandably wearing down on you.

>But, for once, she doesn’t start with sexual banter. “So, Anonymous, how shall we deal with the night princess?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. What do you think?”

>”Well, I say you let her know about /us/, and then let her deal with it herself.”

“I don’t like the sound of that...”

>She shuffles over, lying beside you. “Let’s be honest, Anon. We don’t want to beat around the bush with her. You already have one Rainbow Dash.”

>A pause, then she continues. “Speaking of which, when do you plan on telling her about us? It’s been a week.”

 

“I’m working on it.”

>”No, you’re playing poker and sitting in your armchair. The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be.”

“When did you become such a relationship guru?”

>She blinks, “Oh... Well, I suppose I’ve been talking with Twilight a little...”

“Good to see you’re taking it seriously.”

>”Oh shut up. The point is you can’t get us both. You picked me. Cut her loose.”

“I’m not just going to cut Rainbow out of my life because we’re a... we aren’t even really a couple anyway. We’ve never even been on a date.”

>”Well, we’re not busy tomorrow. Let’s get rid of Luna and then head out?”

>You think about it. Yeah, sure. You aren’t doing anything anyway.

“Alright, sure.”

>”Of course, you have to tell Rainbow before we go. If you don’t, I will. Just saying.”

>Sighing, you nod. Maybe it’d be better if she just did it. Hrm.

>“Anyway, speaking of our relationship...”

>Oh boy, here we go.

“Chrysalis, you know I’m not comfortable with that. Please, just drop it.”

>”Come on Anon...” She leans closer to you. “You know I’m hot...”

“You’re attractive by pony standards, sure, but I’m not attracted to ponies...”

>Damnit Anon, why did you say that...

>Her horn lights up, magically transforming the queen into her way too attractive human form.

>She reaches for your book, taking it from you with little effort. You weren’t even reading it anyway.

>She examines it.  “Midnight Sun? What’s this about?”

 

“It’s bad.”

>”Yet you’re reading it. Clearly it’s not that bad.”

“Why would you say that?”

>She grins, tossing the book away. She places an arm around you, pulling you closer.

>”Well, you did pick me...”

>You’re in check, Anon. Do something!

>I know brain, shut up and let me think.

>”So, since I’m obviously not a pony anymore, why don’t we have some fun?”

“Chrysalis, changing into a human doesn’t make you not a pony.”

>”Anon, we both know you like what you see...”

“...Maybe a little. But my point stands.”

>She rubs a hand down your chest. “Fine, be that way. But you don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Chrysalis, I’ve had sex with lots of girls back home. I know what it’s like.”

>”But are they magical, Anon?”

>You frown. You don’t really like where she’s going with this...

>She rubs her face into yours, her magic pulling the covers over her.

“What are you doing?”

>”Oh, I just thought we could cuddle. Come on...”

“Chrysalis...”

>You can feel her arms wrap around you. They pull you in close, your bodies touching.

>Something tells you that she’s not going anywhere. Oh well, you didn’t need those jimmies anyway.

-----

>You awaken the next day, a bit sore.

>Who can blame you though? You don’t usually sleep with a changeling queen holding onto you.

>Glancing over to her, you can tell she’s quite proud of herself. Ugh...

 

>You start wiggling a bit to get out of her iron grip. You’d prefer not waking her, but that isn’t an option.

>The mare turned human stirs, giving you a friendly smile.

>It doesn’t last long before it’s replaced by her usual grin.

>”Morning Anon... So, was it good for you too?”

“Excuse me?”

>She giggles as you quickly exit your bed.

“Chrysalis, that’s not funny.”

>”But Anon, don’t you remember? You had me yelling and screaming all night! You’re so big...”

>Its way too early for this shit...

“Chrysalis, please, just turn back into a changeling and go back to your room. Please?”

>She pouts. “Oh, come on Anon. Why does this bug you so much? I’m just trying to make you happy...”

“Actually, I think you’re just trying to embarrass me for your own entertainment.”

>”Can’t I do both?”

>Yeah, you’re done. You just got up and you just want to get back to bed.

>Sighing, you head out to get your morning routine done.

>Now in your bathroom, you quickly brush your lovely teeth to ensure they shine white and bright.

>Chrysalis, of course, comes to bug you further, because apparently that’s what she lives for.

>But to be honest, you enjoyed that quirk in her personality. It’s not like she’ll force herself on you.

>”Anon, which shirt do you think looks better on me? The pink or the blue?”

“How about some pants instead?”

 

>Hours later, your crack team of ponies and changelings has assembled.

>Everyone was focused on the task at hand. Chrysalis had even shed her human appearance to not distract you.

>Though she still had a pink shirt on. Some things never change...

>You glance over to Fluttershy, who Rainbow Dash had dragged along for moral support.

>And, well, it proved a good choice on Rainbow’s part. Fluttershy’s example gave you an idea of what to do with Luna.

>After all, Fluttershy, at least for now, has refrained from trying to seduce, rape or put you into a compromising situation.

>And if you could make a friend out of Fluttershy, why not Luna too?

>Chrysalis didn’t really like your plan, but too bad. It’s not her at risk here.

“So, any more questions?”

>Chrysalis, as usual, raised a hoof to complain about any flaw your scheme had.

“...Any questions not from Chrysalis?”

>Rainbow shakes her head, “No, I think we’re all in agreement. While we can’t have Luna trying to f-Er, seduce you, there’s no reason for her to not still be a friend. I’m all for it.”

>Chrysalis groans. “This will end in tears. And not mine.”

>You wonder whose tears she meant by that. It could be any pony, really.

>Derpy smiles up at you from your lap. “Good luck Anon!”

“Thanks... Though I don’t think it’ll be too hard. Now then, I guess I’ll see you guys back here la-“

>Knock knock.

 

>You all blink, wondering who the fuck is here so early. You pray not Applejack.

>You have enough things to deal with today.

----

>Flanked by your loyal bro and your changeling queen, you open up the door.

>What you find isn’t what you expect.

>Standing before you is a royal guard.

>He’s different from the usual royal guards. Ignoring the fact he’s dark grey instead of bright white, you can clearly make out bat wings on the bloke.

>Not to mention that spiffy armour, though Ditto’s is still better.

>Thinking back to that one Nightmare Night, you remember seeing these ponies pulling Luna’s chariot.

>Night guards. Strange folk, these ones.

“Uh, hello? Who are you, and what do you want?”

>”Lieutenant Sunshine Smiles of Luna’s Night Guard, sir. I have a message from her highness.”

>Rainbow Dash frowns, watching the guardscolt carefully as he pulls out said message.

>He passes it to you. You take a look, your companions reading over your shoulder.

>Luna wants you to come to the town hall. Quick, short and to the point.

>Why couldn’t Blueblood’s mail be like this?

“There’s no time on this letter, uh... Sunshine. When am I supposed to head over? Tonight?”

>”Now. I will escort you.”

>Now? Escort? What is Luna doing being awake at 10am in the morning?

>...And what kind of Nightguard has the name ‘Sunshine Smiles?’

>Chrysalis turns back, facing your living room. “Ditto! Hold down the fort. I will return shortly.”

 

>You can hear him acknowledge her, but you’re already outside, following the stallion.

>The trip went by quickly, and in silence.

>You honestly couldn’t expect otherwise, though. Royal guard aren’t really talkative folk.

>And Chrysalis wasn’t about to start flirting with you while were doing something serious.

>Well, maybe not. You’d see for sure once you arrived at the town hall.

>Speaking of which, there it is. The town hall.

>Right in front of the building stood the mayor, Luna, and of course, Prince Blueblood.

>”That’s Blueblood? Quite a handsome colt isn’t he.”

“He’s also an asshole.”

>”Never said he wasn’t.”

>You were startled by your escort speaking up. “I would ask that you refrain from insulting his majesty.”

>Rainbow scoffs, “I would ask that you stop defending such a prick.”

>The guard remains quiet as you come into the view of the nobility.

>Luna smiles weakly at you, her mane mostly hidden underneath a black cloak.

>She’s also got pretty cool shades on.

>”Anon! We are happy to see you again!”

>She doesn’t gallop over to you like you expect, which is good. You don’t need Chrysalis attacking her.

>Instead she slowly meets you half way, her guard moving to flank her opposite of Blueblood.

“Uh, nice to see you too.”

>The mayor, already sensing tension, retreats into the town hall. Lucky her...

 

>Well then. Time to get to work.

“So, Luna, uh, I heard you... wanted to talk to me.”

>She nods, “Yes, we have been thinking of you regularly.”

>Chrysalis narrows her eyes, but stays silent. For now.

>”And, well, we hope you will give us the chance to... explain our feelings for you.”

“Uh... I guess. Why don’t we talk it over some lunch?”

>Blueblood frowns, “You do realize no food in this... town of yours will meet our royal standards, correct?”

>Luna shoots him a look, silencing him. She turns back to you. “Yes, that would be... fun. Let us depart.”

“Right. Rainbow, Chrys, you guys in?”

>Luna cuts them off, “We would prefer to speak in private.”

>Chrysalis shrugs, “Too bad, Princess. Where he goes, I go.”

>”Very well, Chrysalis.” They glare at each other. All of you, save Sunshine Smiles, back away from them.

>Blueblood pulls you aside.

“Yeah? What do you want.”

>”Don’t mess this up, Anon. I don’t need Luna on my case all day every day.”

“I don’t have feelings for Luna. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

>”What? Why not? She’s a princess. Do you know how many colts out there you die to be you?”

“Get over it Blueblood. I really don’t care.”

>The prince groans, putting some distance between the two of you.

 

>You turn back to Luna and Chrysalis, whose staring contest still had no winner.

>Even the stoic Sunshine Smiles appeared to be losing his cool. You figure he’s not usually up this late either.

>Haha. Late. In the morning. Good times.

“Girls, are we going or not?”

>That breaks them out of their stupor, the duo both turning to you. “Of course!”

>They turn back to each other, Luna speaking first. “Do not mimic our words, Chrysalis.”

>”Ha! Like I’d want to. You sound like you’re right out of a four hundred year old play.”

>Luna does her best to ignore her, angrily troting up beside you.

>Chrysalis takes the other side, pushing Rainbow out of the way. The poor pegasus has no way to compete with these superpowered mares...

>You head off to a simple restaurant with some outdoor seating. You really can’t be bothered to go somewhere fancy anyway.

>Blueblood groans, reluctantly entering the eatery’s limits. “Of course...”

>Luna turns to him, “Still thy tongue, Blueblood.”

>”Princess, this is degrading. We shouldn’t be eating here.”

>She begins to berate him on his treatment of the peasantry. The few other ponies in the eatery don’t exactly approve of her terms for them, but say nothing. She is the princess, after all.

>Eventually, Blueblood pulls her aside to speak in relative privacy. Ignoring them, you take a seat at one of the bigger tables, Sunshine, Rainbow and Chrysalis sitting around it.

 

>Rainbow, ignoring the drama the other royalty are causing, attempts to converse. ”So, Sunshine...”

>”Yes?”

>”What’s up with the bat wings? I’ve always wondered about those?”

>The stallion’s face remains emotionless. “What about them?”

>”Well, are they magical or something? Is it like, part of the uniform? I know the armor is enchanted to make everyp0ny look the same. Is it something like that?”

>”No.”

>Chrysalis frowns. “So you’re telling me you naturally have bat wings? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Chrysalis, you’re a talking horse with insect wings and a gigantic horn. You can also turn into other ponies. How does /that/ make sense?”

>Chrysalis blinks. “...How doesn’t it?” You groan, rubbing your forehead.

“...Nevermind.”

>Before you can continue your lovely conversation about how little sense Equestria made, Luna and Blueblood arrived on the scene, apparently on the same page once again.

>”We trust all is going well?”

“Yeah, just peachy. What would you like?”

>She magics a menu over to herself, taking a quick look.

>”We shouldn’t eat anything heavy... A daisy sandwich will suffice.”

 

>A bit later, everyone had obtained their food.

>Pretty much all your companions mimicked Luna’s choice, getting daisy sandwiches of their own. You did not, of course, just getting some orange juice.

>Sunshine and Blueblood didn’t get anything. That stuck up prick was above Ponyville’s ‘peasant grub.’

>No wonder Rarity hated his guts. He makes a scene wherever he goes.

>About halfway through her sandwich, Luna nudges her guard.

>”Please see if there are any fine drinks available inside.”

>”Right away.”

>The guard left the scene, apparently to fetch some wine or something.

>Whatever. You couldn’t care less right now.

>”So, Anonymous, tell us how you feel for us.”

“You’re... an okay mare I guess. But I’d prefer just being friends. Nothing else to it.”

>”...You’d ‘prefer’ being friends. But you’d be able to be more then?”

>Fucking Luna, dissecting your every word.

“No Luna, I’m not going further than friendship with you.”

>You glance to Chrysalis and Rainbow Dash, who both smile at you. Of course, then they see this and glare at each other. Typical.

>”...Are you certain?”

“Yes, Princess, I’m certain. Sorry.”

>”Do you not even wish to... try us on for size? We have done much research on modern mating practices, we assure you.”

>She can already tell the answer is no. Luna isn’t stupid.

 

>But there’s no reason you can’t fuck with her a little.

”Do those practices extend to bipedal manoeuvres?”

>She blinks, unable to respond. After a bit of stuttering, she manages. “What do you mean by that?”

“I stand on two legs. You stand on four. The mating habits of humans and ponies are very different.”

>”O-Oh, yes. Of course. We... Erm...”

>Chrysalis, catching what you’re doing, grins. “I can vouch for that. It’s so much... better than just normal stallions.”

>Luna blushes madly. While you don’t want her spreading rumors that the two of you are having sex, Rainbow at least can tell she’s just fucking around.

>Blueblood, however, does not. “Do you really think this talk in appropriate for such a public setting?”

“Hey I’ve got pants. You’re the one who needs to worry about his junk, Blueblood.”

>”You only hide your prize because you know it will not measure up to one like mine.”

>Luna bonks him on the head, silencing him. “Ignore the prince. He is nowhere near as hung as he claims.”

>Rainbow chuckles nervously, her wings partially erect. “Why are we talking about Blueblood’s dick again?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know. Where’s Sunshine anyway?”

>Right on cue, the guardscolt returns. “I have brought their finest wine.”

>”Thank you, Lieutenant.”

>Luna pours everyone a glass, filling yours a bit too much. Oh well, she is tired.

>You raise your glass, grinning darkly at Blueblood. [spoiler][/spoiler]”To Blueblood’s ego!”

 

>And so, everything worked out in the end. Luna, while disappointed, left you be.

>At first you were worried about Chrysalis having some wine, but she isn’t acting any differently, so everything is good.

>Even Blueblood seemed content, which was a rarity in and of itself.

>No matter, home awaits. And... well, so does telling Dash your deepest, darkest secret.

>Though, you think having a little alcohol in her will make it a bit easier. And probably for you too.

>Liquid courage is crazy stuff.

>However, about half way home, you begin to feel... strange.

>You are having trouble determining what’s different about you, but one thing is for certain.

>You’ve never considered half the random mares on the streets anywhere near this attractive before.

>Wait. What? WHAT? Jimmies DEFCON 0, hold the motherfucking phone.

>You stop, your companions trotting onward a few steps before noticing.

“Uh girls? Something isn’t right...”

>Rainbow turns to you, but fails to make eye contact. She’s too busy staring at your crotch.

>”I’ll say Anon. What’s going on in your pants?”

“...Seriously, I don’t know. But I think I know how we can find out.”

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes. “Really? This can be simply explained.”

>You and Rainbow both turn to the queen know-it-all. This should be good.

>”Anon has simply had an epithany, and now sees how attractive ponies are. I saw you watching all those other mares. You can’t deny this.”

 

“Yeah, actually, I’m pretty sure Luna had Sunshine drug our wine. Which means you’re probably fucked up too.”

>Rainbow freezes, panic slowly rising up in her. “Fuck! That bitch! What do we do?”

“Let’s go get an antidote? Blueblood and Sunshine both drank some.”

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes. “I don’t feel any warmer than I usually do. I still think my theory is best.”

“That’s nice Chrys. Come on, let’s go.”

>You circle back, doing your best to ignore the steel rod poking your upper thigh. God damnit Luna...

>Things aren’t going that great. Your mind quickly begins to be clouded by thoughts of fornication.

>And, surprise surprise, most the these unwanted fantasies involve the night princess herself.

>That was not cool. You’d be sure to let Celestia know about this shit.

>First though, you’d need an antidote.

>Slipping between the various buildings, you eventually spot Blueblood and Sunshine down a road by Luna’s carriage. Bingo.

>You stalk over to them, but Sunshine catches on instantly. “Can we help you?”

“Yeah Sunshine, you can. Where the fuck is Luna, and what did you put in my drink?”

>Blueblood pales, backing away as your pair of mares walk over. You cross your arms disapprovingly.

>”The contents of that drink are top secret. I can’t tell you.”

>Chrysalis growls at him. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Sunshine. I assure you, the hard way will wipe that smile off your face permanently.”

>Blueblood smiles nervously, “I think I’ll jog back, Sunshine. See you!”

 

>A tug from Chrysalis is all it takes to end his attempt at escape, holding him up by a hind leg.

>His face would probably win an Oscar. You’d laugh, but you need to focus on Sunshine.

>...Where is Sunshine anyway? He was right there a second ago.

>You look around with Rainbow, but he’s gone. Damn, he’s quick.

>”I’ll talk! I’ll talk! Let me down! Please!”

“Drop him Chrys. I’ll handle this.”

>She complies, dropping  the stallion. You stomp over to him, quite ready to take out all your life’s frustrations on him.”

>He looks up at you, the terror clear in his eyes. “W-What do you want to know?”

“What did I get drugged with, and where’s the antidote.”

>”M-Magic... aphrodisiac. Makes you want Luna... Can’t be cured once taken... two weeks... probably one for you. Don’t hurt me please...”

“Why shouldn’t I? You knew about this the entire time and let her do it.”

>”What was I supposed to do? Call the guard? On Luna? That’s not how it works.”

>You groan, clutching your head. This stuff is beginning to give you a headache.

>Rainbow trots over to you, not bothering to catch Blueblood, who was now running for his life.

>”So, now what?”

“Now we go home, and we figure out how to get this crap out of my system.”

>You pause, glancing at Rainbow’s rock hard wings. [spoiler][/spoiler]”And out of yours too.”

 

>After some difficulty, you were home at last.

>The drugs Luna’s minions had used on you, however, were growing in strength. You however, persevered.

>You would not break down and have sex with every pony you see. Not again. Never again!

>Though, Colgate trying to chat you up on your way home didn’t make your life any easier. Eurgh why...

>So here you were, sitting on your armchair of kings. Derpy on your lap. Dinky on hers.

>She seemed to just be ignoring your libido problems, which was nice of her, you guess.

>But still, she didn’t need to sit on your lap. You could practically feel her flank on you.

>...You would never admit it, but it felt nice.

>Nope. Nope NOPE NOPE. Stop that brain.

>We’re trying as hard as we can, Anon!

“So, what’s the plan for the rest of today?”

>Chrysalis shrugs. “A drug filled threesome?”

>Derpy glares at her, convering her daughter’s ears. “Dinky is listening!”

>”So? She has to learn about sex eventually. May as well be now.”

>Rainbow, who was sitting in the corner, blushing up a storm, shakes her head. “Look, Chrys, I know you’re... messed up too, but you have to respect Derpy’s wishes.”

>”Don’t tell me you aren’t interested, Rainbow. Oh well, guess me and Anon will be partying all night long.” She cackles evilly.

>You groan, placing you head in your hands. Why’d it have to be you?

 

>Fluttershy, who was silently sitting about, cuts in finally.

>”Uh... Girls, don’t you think, well, that Anon should choose?”

>Fluttershy? Opposed to ponies forcing themselves on you? You’d laugh, but you’re too busy being in pain.

>Having a boner for an hour was starting to take its toll. All that blood could be used somewhere else.

>You were actually feeling a little lightheaded.

>Chrysalis angrily turns to you. “Well? Who’s getting the first go?”

“First go? Who said anything about multiple rounds?”

>”Stop whining Anon. You’ll be like this for a week. Everyp0ny gets a turn!”

“How about no?”

>Dinky, who was being scared by the loud noises spewing from Chrysalis’ mouth, hugs her mother tightly.

>”Mom, Chrysalis is scaring me.”

>Derpy, her motherly instinct in full force, gives Chrysalis one of the most fearsome death glares to ever grace the planet. Chrysalis shuts up immediately, shrinking away from the mare.

“How about you four, uh... do something, and Derpy, Dinky and I do something else. Somewhere else.”

>Chrysalis mutters something under her breath.

>Derpy shakes her head. “You have a dirty mouth Chrysalis. Don’t make me wash it out.”

>The changeling queen laughs heartily, her previous fear discarded. ”Ha! Like you can threaten me.”

>Oh, they of little faith. Standing, you help Dinky onto her mothers back and flee the scene, leaving Ditto alone to fend off the trio of mares. You almost feel bad for him.

>But, you don’t. Not with this headache.

 

>You soon found yourself sitting in Derpy and Dinky’s room.

>It was a bright, cheerful room, full of toys and other such things, mostly for Dinky.

>Derpy sure did spoil her little filly, though not to her detriment.

>You doubt it even being possible to make a Diamond Tiara out of that filly.

>And, for her sake, she’d best not try. It wouldn’t fly with her mother, nor you.

>So here you sat, watching Derpy and Dinky spend time together. Dinky did some homework, Derpy helped her out, and even you lent a hand when you could.

>Though, it was still hard to focus on much besides your runaway log. Damned thing wouldn’t let up.

>Derpy hops over onto her bed, sitting beside you. Silently, you watch Dinky write away.

>”Feeling any better?”

“No, honestly I think it’s getting worse.”

>”Oh...”

>This would be one hell of a week, that’s for sure. What to do, what to do.

>Well Anon, Derpy would probably agree to help you vent out some frustrations. Chrysalis can’t be trusted right now.

>Excuse me brain, I didn’t ask for that idea. Now I’ll never be rid of it.

>Just trying to help...

>”Um, Anon? You okay?”

“Hm, what?”

>She looks up at you nervously, “You’re doing that thing again. Where you look like you’re talking to yourself inside your head.” Oh. Yeah, well, you kind of were.

 

>You need to keep your mind on other things.

>Seeing no real reason to delay her enlightenment, you determine now would be a good time to tell Derpy about Chrysalis.

>After all, she wasn’t trying to get in your pants like Rainbow Dash was.

“Hey Derpy, think we could go somewhere private for a little? I need to tell you a few things.”

>She blushes suddenly. “Just talking, right?”

“Uh, yeah, of course. Did you think I wanted something else?”

>She glances down to the lump in your pants.

“...No. No! Nothing relating to that. I promise.”

>She nods, getting up. “We’ll be right back, okay Dinky? Stay out of the living room.”

>”Yes mom.”

>And with that, you quickly make your way upstairs. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to walk around.

>Derpy takes note of this, and slows down for you. How nice.

>Now if only her ass wasn’t the only thing you could see from her. You had learned firsthand how powerful those flanks could be.

>...Your floor tiles still had that dent. And they said it would buff out. What a scam.

>Arriving upstairs, Derpy steps out of your way, letting you open up the door.

>”Uh, Anon?”

“Yeah Derpy?”

>”I think you should probably not do anything sexual with Rainbow or Chrysalis while you guys are all messed up.”

“Yeah, no kidding. They’d probably never let me leave.”

>You sigh, shaking your head. You grip the metal knob, and turn it.

 

>It occurs to you that you didn’t make your bed this morning.

>The covers are all rough and strewn about. But that’s not the worst of it.

>Princess Luna, eternal keep of the night, was lying on your bed. She smiles seductively at you.

>”Greetings fair Anonymous. We are glad you could join us.”

>Despite her confident tone, you can tell quite well that she’s tired as hell. She’s been up pretty much all day.

“Luna, what the fuck are you doing in my room?”

>Her horn glows faintly, you door closing behind you, knocking Derpy out of the room.

>You jump from the noise.

>”We have come to show you in person how much we want thy love.”

“Now you’re sounding like fucking Chrysalis. Get out of my house.”

>”Now now, Anon, don’t be so hasty.” She shifts onto her back, sitting up a bit.

“Hasty? HASTY? You fucking drugged me, and now you expect me to just be fine with you coming here to try and fuck me? No. Get out. Now.”

>Luna is taken aback from your seething rage, shrinking a bit into the sheets.

>Looks like the drugs don’t only just improve your libido.

>”Anon, there is no need to yell. We have read up on these practices.”

“Luna, fuck off. I couldn’t care less what you’ve read up on. Get out before I call Celestia on your shit.”

>She pauses, thinking it over. She gets out of your bed, shifting uneasily. “S-Sorry.”

“Why are you still here? Go away!”

 

>And in a flash of light, she’s gone.

>You take a moment to cool yourself off, before opening up the door.

>Derpy is sitting on the floor across the hall, legs splayed out.

>She’s not seriously hurt, but you find it difficult to not stare at her... goods.

>”Anon? Is Luna gone?”

“Yeah, I got rid of her. You okay?”

>”Yeah, I’m alright.” She rubs her head with a free hoof. “Stop staring at my marehood please.”

“...Uh, right. Sure. Sorry.”

>She closes up her legs. God damn you Luna, for making you into this.

>This week couldn’t end soon enough...

>”So, what did you want to talk about anyway? It’s pretty private right here.”

“Well, I just wanted to tell you that... Well, I’m in love. With Chrysalis.”

>She gasps. “Really? Congratulations Anon!” She jumps up, bowling you over with a hug. You do your best to ignore how soft her coat is.

>”I knew you could do it! When’s the wedding?”

>Woah woah, hold up.

“What wedding?”

>She frowns, “You know, the wedding. You and Chrysalis. You love each other, so you have to get married! It’s the rules!”

>Don’t worry Anon, I’ve got your coolface prepared. Just give the word.

>Brain, you aren’t helping. [spoiler][/spoiler]”I think it’s a bit early for that, Derpy. But I’ll let you know uh, if it comes to that.”

>”Alrighty.” She gets off of you.

“Anyway, I’m gonna just lock myself in this room for a week. Bring up food if you can. Good night.”

 

>You get up, entering your room. You give Derpy one last smile.

>”But Anon, it’s not even 2pm. You can’t go to bed.”

“My house, my rules. I’m going to bed.”

>”That’s silly, Anon. You can’t sleep with that monster in your pants.”

>Houston, we have a rustle. Taking evasive manoeuvres.

“I’m going to just take that as compliment and go. See you in a week.”

>You close the door, leaving you alone. All alone, with your thoughts.

>This week was not going to be fun.