Anon and Chrysalis Ch18

The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 18: The Fluttershy Principle aka When Anon fucked over everything in one day

 

>Celestia’s sun had risen over the horizon, its bright rays flooding down over the ponies of Equestria.

>Ponies of all ages awoke and began to do their daily routines.

>Fillies and colts across the land headed to schools to learn things to help them in life.

>While mares and stallions went to their jobs to earn money, or perhaps to have fun.

>Deep underground, the Changeling swarm began to work as well, mining, smelting and producing all manner of goods.

>And the world’s only human, Anonymous, awoke and berated the mares who shared a home with him for their absurd behaviour the night before.

>You, however, didn’t care for their actions. You had to get ready.

>For you are Fluttershy. And you are excited.

>Having visited Anon the previous night, he had actually agreed to go out with you! There was much to do.

>Getting out of bed, you quickly got to work, fluttering downstairs to begin the daily chores.

 

>Angel was still asleep in his bed, so you did your best not to wake up.

>It was all for naught though. As soon as you opened up your storage room, he was awake and in your business.

“Oh, good morning Angel. Are you hungry?”

>He crossed his arms, glaring at you. Yes. He was definitely hungry.

>You nod, flying off to get him some food from your kitchen.

>He was content with a few of your high quality carrots.

>Hopefully they’d last a bit longer this time around; those things were expensive.

“Alright, well, I need to finish up the chores quick. I have a date later today!”

>Angel raises an eyebrow at you, his expression asking ‘Seriously?’

“Yes Angel, really!”

>You smile giddily. He rolls his eyes, going back to his fancy carrots.

>Oh well, he’d see. Heading back to your storage room, you got to work with feeding all your animals.

>It was time consuming, sure, but necessary. You were lucky half of them were asleep for the winter...

 

>A few hours later, you were more or less finished.

>While Angel would always be the rebellious rabbit, your other companions knew not to eat their later meals until later.

>Good thing too. Having to come back to feed them every four hours would cut down on your Anon time significantly.

>You sit back on your couch, considering where you should go with him.

>That’s when you remember that you promised Anon no funny business. Shoot!

>How would you keep Applejack from interfering with your day? Everything she did was funny business...

>Maybe you could ask for some help from Pinkie? While her plans were usually pretty weird, they did get the job done.

>Yes! That’s what you’d do!

“Angel, I’m heading out, alright?”

>Angel shrugged, not caring much. Oh well.

>You open up your front door, taking in the sunshine. This would be a good day.

>You fly off to Ponyville. It was time to get to work.

 

>Ponyville was busy and bustling as it often was. The town had grown a good bit over the years.

>You made sure to avoid the market square. While Applejack usually wasn’t out selling this early, it was better safe than sorry.

>Soon enough, you made it to Sugarcube Corner.

>It was actually pretty busy inside the store today. Luckily for you, Pinkie was out on the floor talking to someone in a booth, though you couldn’t see who.

>You approach her booth, but pause when you see who her companion is.

>Commander Ditto. Oh no...

>You were certain this would complicate your plans. He wasn’t exactly fond of you...

>Oh... Why did you do that to him? What were you thinking, Fluttershy?

>To make matters worse, he had spotted you. “Hm?”

>Pinkie Pie looked over from her seat, “Oh, hi Fluttershy! How are you doing?”

“Oh... Um...”

>No! Gotta push through this...

“I uh... need your help with something.”

 

>Pinkie smiles cheerily at you, “Sure, take a seat!”

>She scooches over to the back of the booth, giving you room to sit.

>Ditto continues to stare dangerously at you as you take the seat.

>”So what’s on your mind Flutters?”

>You take a deep breath. Here goes nothing...

“Anon agreed to go out with me but I promised there’d be no funny business but that means I need to get rid of Applejack because if she finds out she’ll disrupt our date and that would be considered funny business and that would ruin my chances of getting with Anonymous!”

>Your head spins, suffering from oxygen deprevation already. You take a few breathes of air, eventually recovering.

>”...Anon agreed to go out with you? Impossible.”

>You look over to Ditto, “No, he did! It’s true.”

>”That is impossible. He would never agree to that.”

>You look away from him. Well... it was pretty late when you asked him out...

>Maybe he was right. Maybe Anon wasn’t thinking straight...

 

>But... You couldn’t just stand him up. What if he did mean it?

>That would be even worse than going and having him say no. You would have to try.

>Pinkie jumps back into the conversation, startling you, “Well, still, if you’re trying to stop the funny business, you’ve got my support! We /all/ know Anon doesn’t like that stuff.”

>You nod, but aren’t really sure. After all, he never really tried to stop you. Maybe his fetish was being stalked?

>No Fluttershy! Bad thoughts! Keep focused on the goal!

“So... what should I do? Applejack will find me eventually...”

>Pinkie Pie puts a hoof to her chin, contemplating an answer. It soon comes to her.

>”Aha! I’ve got it!”

>Ditto groans, “Why do I think this involves me...”

>Pinkie smiles, oblivious to his suffering, “Because it does! Ditto, you turn into Fluttershy here, then go to Sweet Apple Acres and keep Applejack busy!”

>You gratefully smile at Pinkie. That would definitely keep her out of your mane.

 

>”...What makes you think I’ll be able to fool her at all? I’m nothing like Fluttershy.”

>Ooh... That could be a problem...

>”It’s easy Ditto! Just stay quiet, hide behind your mane, and blush whenever Anon is mentioned.”

>You give Pinkie a disapproving stare. She made you sound so... one dimensional.

“There’s more to me than that, Pinkie.”

>Pinkie gapes, “Ooh, I almost forgot! You also need to have a lot of fetishes! Good luck trooper!”

>Both you and Ditto are upset by her stereotyping. ...The sad part was, she was pretty much right.

>You really did need to get a hobby. Maybe you could get back into knitting?

>Of course, if this day went as planned, you might have more dates with Anonymous in the future. Maybe that could be your hobby.

>”Uh, Flutters, you okay?”

>Oh shoot, you were daydreaming again. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Y-Yes, I’m fine.”

>”Well, you two head out! I’ve got to get back to the kitchen!”

>She jumps up onto the table, bouncing off it to the floor. “Go!”

 

>You didn’t need to be told again, and, with Ditto in tow, head outside.

>Before you can get very far, he pulls you over to the side of the confectionary. By the tail.

>That felt... actually really good. Hrm... No, focus!

“Ditto? I-Is something wrong?”

>”Yes. Your story. Anonymous would never agree to go out with you. What are you up too?”

“I-I’m not up to anything. Honest! He said yes! Please, is there no way I can get you to trust me?”

>The officer grunts, “Not really, no.”

>You sigh. The commander continues, “...What do you even see in Anonymous? Why do you like him so much?”

“I-I was the first pony he met. We had... a connection.”

>”...And so you decided to stalk him? Elaborate.”

>You blush, backing away. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Ditto... look... it’s a long story.”

>”I have all day.”

>You sigh in frustration. Well... you may as well. You tell him the story, of how you used to be good friends, of how you tried to get him to notice you, and how you ended up pushing him away by being too forward during the mating season.

 

>It was not a tale you liked reciting, but you didn’t really have a choice.

>You needed him to help you. There was no way around it.

>Thankfully he had kept silent while you went through it. His face’s expression had softened a bit, but otherwise didn’t change from his stoic gaze.

>Yours did though, and you soon realized you were crying. You quickly wipe the tears away.

>”...That is quite depressing. I wasn’t aware you had been at this so long.”

>You nod, still trying to put a stop to the waterworks. It’s not working out as you’d hope.

>”But that doesn’t excuse your behaviour it the meantime. You should have tried talking to him about it.”

“...I guess I should have... B-But...”

>”I will help you. Just this once. Don’t mess this up, Fluttershy.”

>The officer walked off, magically changing into a copy of yourself as he did. Soon enough, you were alone.

 

>You take a few moments to regain your composure.

>Ditto would keep Applejack out of the way, but you’d still need to come up with some things to do.

>Perhaps a nice dinner? Yes, that could work.

>There was even a new fancy restaurant  you could take him too. You’d just need reservations.

>You fly off to the south end of town, where the restaurant was located.

>It didn’t seem like much from the outside, but you knew better than to bash such a prestigious place.

>Taking a few minutes to work up some courage, you enter the building.

>Everything is as over the top as you would expect. It’s like you walked into a little bit of Canterlot.

>You take a few steps in, but are stopped by one of the staff.

>”Hello miss. Do you have a reservation?”

“Oh... Um...”

>Think Fluttershy! What are you here to do?

“Um... I need to make one... For two... Uh...”

 

>”A reservation for two? I see.” The pony stroked his magnificent moustache.

>Using his horn’s magic, he opens up what you guess is a reservation list.

>After skimming through, he tells you the available times. Seven seems good...

>”I see. Well it’s our policy for customers to put in a monetary deposit to make sure they actually attend. You’d be surprised how many hooligans eat up slots for fun.”

“Y-Yeah. Silly kids... Uh...”

>He tells you how many bits the deposit is. You smile nervously at him.

>Well... You didn’t need to eat that month anyway...

>Heading out, you silently see how you can stretch the rest of your food and money to not go broke before the next paycheck.

>It occurs to you that you paid only the deposit. The food would still cost more money.

“...Maybe I should have picked a different restaurant...”

>Well, it was too late to cancel now. Now... to lay low until seven.

 

/A bit earlier, at Anon’s house/

>Anonymous, holy saviour of poker players the world over, was having a bad morning.

>First and foremost, as soon as you had opened up your door, you had bashed right into Derpy.

“...Derpy. It’s 10am. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

>She groans, rolling onto her back. She opens up her eyes, wearily looking up at you.

>”Anon? Uh... My head hurts... What happened last night?”

“You drank some whiskey that Rainbow found under the floorboards. Then you played spin the bottle and made out with Rainbow Dash. Basic stuff.”

>Her eyes widen. That was most likely the last thing she expected to hear.

>”W-What time is it Anon?”

“I just told you. 10.”

>She groans, her face falling into her fore hooves. “Oh no... I’m late again.”

“Just call in sick? Come on, it’s not that big of a deal. Now, let’s find the others, yes?”

>She nods, but isn’t really supportive of deceiving her employer. She was, after all, the mayor.

 

>Heading downstairs, you saw everything was pretty much a mess.

>You take a look into your living room. Lying on your couch was Rainbow Dash and Chrysalis, who were snuggling together in their sleep.

>It was actually an adorable sight. Which meant you had to ruin it ASAP.

>You head over to the mares, shaking Chrysalis awake.

>”Huh... What... Anon?”

“Morning sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

>She groans in agony, “I think there’s an axe in my head. What happened?”

“What do /you/ think?”

>She looks about, but clenches her eyes shut when they make contact with the bright outdoors.

>”...Was I drinking again?”

“Yes. Now get up, you have cleaning to get too. You too, Rainbow Dash.”

>Upon mention of her name, the rainbow maned mare stirred from her sleep.

>”Huh? Somep0ny calling me?”

>You turn and head back to Derpy, who was loitering around the doorway.

“Let’s make some breakfast?”

 

>Derpy helped you throw together some magically delicious food. No muffins this time, though.

>Chrysalis and Rainbow, after getting accustomed to the bright light, were cleaning up. Reluctantly, in Chrysalis’ case.

>That left Dinky and Ditto MIA. Where had that little filly run off too?

>Derpy was pretty worried about this. “Oh... Anon, where do you think my muffin went?”

“I’m sure she’s fine Derpy. She’s probably playing with her friends outside.”

>”But Anon, she has to tell me if she does that! She might be hurt somewhere!”

>You rub your temples, Derpy’s motherly fear starting to take its toll on you.

“Finish your food, then we’ll go find her. I’m certain she’s fine.”

>Derpy nods, quickly gulping down her egg sandwich. “...These are really good.”

>You nod. Yes, yes they were.

>You head off to find Derpy’s daughter, said mare hovering right behind you. You turn to Chrysalis who was cleaning off the walls.

>What the fuck was that stuff anyway? It was all green...

“Hey Chrys, we’re going to go get Dinky. You and Rainbow have fun. Whoever cleans the most gets an egg sandwich when I’m back.”

>Chrysalis turns to Rainbow, a fire now burning in her eyes. It was on.

 

>”So where first, Anon?”

“Well, I figure we should ask her friends first. So... to Rarity’s boutique!”

>Derpy nods, following you down the roads of Ponyville. Things were still snowy, but it wasn’t as bad as yesterday.

>Rainbow’s weather schedule said it would snow again in a few days, but the weekend would be clear.

>You made good time, waving occasionally at your friends, but didn’t stop to chat them up.

>Arriving at the boutique, you quickly entered it, the door’s bell rining to alert Rarity that she had customers.

>This was the busiest times of the year for her. Ponies would need stuff to keep warm, and she was where they got it.

>Luckily, no one was here. Or at least out front.

>Rarity, fashionista supreme, trots into the room. She smiles as she sees you. “Ah, Anonymous. Hello!”

“Hi there Rarity. Everything going well?”

>”But of course darling. I see you’re wearing my jacket.”

“Yeah well, gotta keep warm, right?”

 

>She nods. You feel Derpy impatiently poking your leg. Oh right...

“So, have you seen Dinky or Sweetie Belle around? We’re looking for her.”

>”Dinky? Wait, has she gone missing? That’s horrible!”

>”I know! We have to find her!”

>”Well... Sadly no, I haven’t seen either of them.”

“Well, thanks anyhow Rarity. We’ll keep looking.”

>You turn and head off, Derpy heading off right behind you, head facing the dirt.

“Come on Derpy, she’s fine. You’ll see.”

>She nods, sniffling. You squat down, taking a hold of her head. You look her in her eyes.

“Trust me, Dinky is fine. Now, let’s go find Scootaloo.”

>And so you do, heading to where Scootaloo usually hung out. You actually didn’t know where she lived.

>Unfortunately, there’s no sign of her in any of her usual hang outs. Bollocks.

“No sign of Scootaloo. Hm. Any ideas?”

>Every drop of blood leaves the mare's face. ”...Oh no. No no no no no no...”

>You turn to Derpy, who has begun to hyperventilate.

“Derpy, breathe!”

>She complies. After catching her breath, she declares,”Anon! Applejack took her! We have to get her!”

 

>Before you can even ask her to calm down, she’s gone, flying off to Sweet Apple Acres.

>You do your best to keep up, but the adrenaline flowing through her veins is making her almost as fast as Rainbow Dash.

>You manage to get under her about halfway to the farm. You jump up, grabbing onto a leg.

>Her wings fail her, causing her to fall face first into the dirt, as do you.

>You should have angled that jump better. Oh well.

>Getting up, you shake off some of the dirt that had fused with your jacket. Derpy does the same.

“Derpy, calm the fuck down. Applejack would never stoop that low. We’ll just ask her if she knows, and if she does, good. If not, we keep looking.”

>She sighs, “...Alright.”

>You continue on your way in silence. There’s nothing to really talk about, after all.

>Derpy’s worrying is starting to get to you though. Dinky was proving harder to find that you thought.

>You reason that she’s probably with all the crusaders though, and thus at their clubhouse.

>You take a deep breath, looking up at farm’s wooden sign.

>Sweet Apple Acres.

 

>Things were pretty dull here. With the winter now in full swing, they weren’t exactly growing a lot of crops.

>The Apple family still kept busy, though, doing the few remaining chores, mostly revolving around keeping their livestock healthy.

>Speaking of the Apple family, Big Macintosh was pulling a cart full of barrels of... something.

>You share a quick glance with Derpy before heading on over to him

>Using his ninja senses, or something like that, he figures out you’re approaching, and thus, turns to you.

“Hey there Big Mac. You haven’t happened to have seen Dinky around, would you?”

>He blinks. “Uh... Dinky?”

>”My filly! She’s a little unicorn with a blond mane like me. Have you seen her? Tell me you’ve seen her!”

>The large stallion flinches away from Derpy. “Uh... The Clubhouse.”

>”She’s at the clubhouse?”

>The stallion nods quickly, probably just to get the panicking mare away from him.

“Thanks Mac. Let’s go, Derpy.”

>She nods, coming to your side. Off to the clubhouse!

 

>With the trees bare, it’s easy to find your way over to the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse.

>Good thing, too. Derpy seems about to explode.

>Arriving at the CMC hideout, another wrench is thrown into your plan.

>Applejack and Fluttershy were both right outside the clubhouse, four fillies standing before them.

>”Now, Applebloom, y’all can’t just take random fillies from other folk’s homes. What do ya think poor Derpy’s thinkin’ right about now?”

>Scootaloo points over to your group. “Uh, she’s right over there.”

>Applejack blinks, looking over in the specified direction. She sees Derpy first.

>”Oh, uh, howdy Derpy.” Finally, she notices you. “Oh! And howdy Anon! What brings y’all to Sweet Apple Acres?”

>A young filly cries out, rushing over to Derpy before you respond.

>Her mother meets her halfway, pulling her daughter into a tight hug. “Muffin! Oh I was so worried!”

>”Sorry mom! I should have told you I was going...”

 

>The tender moment died down, Derpy forgiving her angel of a daughter for her misgivings.

>The CMC were not so lucky, getting another scolding from the mailmare. Poor saps.

>You were about to head off, but of course, fucking Applejack had to pester you some more.

>How hypocritical of her. She berates her sister for doing bad things yet attempts to rape you on a regular basis.

>”So, Anon, how have ya been? Good Ah hope?”

“...I’m fine, Applejack. But seriously, I should get going. Right Derpy?”

>She nods,  “Yeah, Muffin and I really should get home.”

>”Well, if ya need to head out Derpy, feel free. But Ah gotta show Anon here something.”

>You’re actually just a bit curious. But then again, curiosity killed the cat.

>”...I’m going with him.”

>You smile at your blond companion. Dinky’s expression mirrored her mothers.

>”...Well, Ah suppose Ah can’t make ya leave. Follow me...”

>She leads you over to the barn. Fluttershy trails behind you, sandwiching you between them.

>You aren’t worried though. Dinky was here. Applejack would never try to rape you with a filly watching.

>She wasn’t /that/ depraved.

>...Right?

 

>Applejack stopped as she reached the barn’s door. She turns to you.

>”Ah’ll be right back with yer gift, alrighty?”

“I’m getting a gift? I thought you were going to show me something.”

>She blinks, “Uh... Ah don’t know what yer talkin’ about. Anyway, Ah’ll be right back!”

>She disappears into the big red building. Hrm.

>You turn to Fluttershy, who had, as usual, remained silent the entire trip.

“...So, care to enlighten me to her crazy plan? Because I’m all ears.”

>Fluttershy didn’t meet your gaze, which was normal. Her posture however...

>It seemed... forced. Like she wasn’t herself. “I don’t know what she’s up to.”

“Hrm. Is that so?”

>”Yes.”

>And a hush fell over the crowd that stood before the barn’s door. Applejack sure was taking her sweet ass time.

>You reach into a pocket, hoping to pull out a watch to check.

>However, you aren’t distinguished enough to actually own a pocketwatch. Blast! Foiled again!

>At least Fluttershy wasn’t doing anything to bother you. She was just standing there, minding her own business.

 

>Alright, something was up.

>You walk over to Fluttershy, poking her with your foot.

“Alright Fluttershy, explain. You may be shy at times, sure, but you aren’t this regimented. Are you sick or something?”

>”Anon, look, I don’t know anything.”

“Really? Because I think you’re hiding something.”

>You squat down, bringing yourself to her eye level.

“And I want to know what. Tell me the truth, Fluttershy.”

>You silent stare into her, expecting her to crack like the delicate vase she is.

>It doesn’t work. Instead she holds her ground, stoically staring back.

>The exchange is quite unnerving for poor little Derpy, though Dinky doesn’t seem to be paying any attention.

>Eventually, Fluttershy wins out, your resolve broken. What the fuck is going on?

>”Anon, look... This isn’t what you think. Just let me explain, alright?”

“Um... okay? What’s going on then.”

>Fluttershy closes her eyes... and is engulfed in the green magical aura of a changeling transformation.

>Sure enough, Fluttershy was gone, Commander Ditto left in her place.

 

>Everyone is pretty surprised by this revelation, even Dinky.

“...Ditto? Why are you pretending to be Fluttershy?”

>”...I’m on a secret mission to keep Applejack out of Ponyville.”

“A secret mission? Like from Chrysalis?”

>The shapeshifter’s eyes dart about suspiciously, “I am not at liberty to say.”

“Chrysalis then. Gotcha.”

>You turn back to the barn door. Still no sign of Applejack. Ugh...

>”Anon, should we just go? I think she’s forgotten about us.”

>Right as you were to agree with Derpy and leave, the barn door swung open.

>”Ah, good y’all are still here. Well, here ya go Anon.”

>She has a hastily wrapped present on her back. Ditto magics it over to you.

>You thank the changeling, and then open the gift, revealing a fancy looking bottle of applejack.

>As in, the alcoholic drink.

“Uh... Thanks.”

>”No problem Anon. Just thought Ah’d apologize for yesterday ‘n’ all that.”

>She turns to Ditto, expecting Fluttershy. “...Wait, what?”

>Ditto blinks. Well, there goes his cover. “Fluttershy just left. She needed to check on Angel.”

 

>”...Right. Well uh...”

“Thanks again. Anyway Derpy, let’s go?”

>She nods quickly, following down the path to Ponyville, ignoring Applejack’s failed attempts to get you to stay.

>Soon enough, you were gone, leaving her with Ditto.

>”Well shoot.”

>She turns to her unlikely changeling company, frowning at him. “Alright pal, y’all can go too. Ah don’t need ya on my property distractin’ me.”

>”Distracting you? Distracting you from what?”

>She looks away, beginning to trot off to her farmhouse. “None of yer business.” She turns back to him. “Get!”

>”This business... does it involve Anonymous?”

>”What’s it ta you?”

>”I am not going to let you do anything to Anonymous. Not today.”

>She smirks, ”Is that a fact. Well, feel free ta try an’ stop me.”

>Ditto nods, magically holding her just above the ground.

>”Hey now! What the hey do ya think yer doin’!?”

>Ditto shrugged, “Stopping you. Isn’t that what you asked for?”

>Applejack yells out in frustration, hooves flailing about. “Let me go ya coward! Or is that why y’all won’t fight me?”

>Ditto rolls his eyes, unphased. Applejack continue to fight against his magic to no avail.

 

>You recline in your chair, finally back in your home.

>Rainbow Dash and Chrysalis were still cleaning when you got there.

>Well, Chrysalis was. She had gone the extra mile to ensure she got one of your wonderful sandwiches.

>They weren’t even that special. An egg, cheese and some pepper between bread. Jeez.

>Hell, she could probably just make one herself.

>Chrysalis enters the room, sauntering up to you.

>She leans in close, “So, where’s my sandwich?”

“Go make your own. I’m tired.”

>She glares at you, “You said-“

“I am changing the deal. Pray I do not change it further.”

>She throws her head up in defeat. You personally think it’s a bit melodramatic.

>”Fine, be like that. But don’t think I’ll forget this.”

>She trots over to her seat, mildly annoyed. She shoots you another dirty look once in her chair.

>The mood is broken by Dinky, who is sitting with Derpy on your lap, giggling at the cartoon she’s watching.

>Even Chrysalis eventually has a smile on her face. Oh the innocence of youth.

 

>The mellow silence is eventually broken by Rainbow Dash.

>”So uh... Anon, hey. Sorry about last night. That was...”

“Yeah. I know. Don’t worry about it. Let’s just agree to never play spin the bottle ever again.”

>Everyone nods in agreement.

>Chrysalis pouts, “I never did get my kiss though...”

>You shrug uncaringly. She had pushed herself on you so many times already that, as far as you’re concerned, she’s gotten it and much more.

>You got through a whole episode of that fish cartoon before any real conversation cropped up.

>”So, Chrys, where has Ditto been hiding? I haven’t seen him at all today.”

>She shrugs. “I’m not his manager. Don’t ask me.”

“Didn’t you send him to distract Applejack or something? He was at the farm awhile back.”

>”I did no such thing. I haven’t seen him today either.”

“Huh. Strange.”

>The topic dies out, leaving you to wonder just what he was doing. Ditto didn’t deceive people, especially not his friends.

>Whatever it was, you didn’t like the sound of it.

 

>Rainbow yawns, growing tired from chilling out.

>”Hey, Anon, wanna like, do something? I need to stretch these wings...”

“I guess. What do you want t-“

>”If she’s going, so am I.”

>You turn to Chrysalis, who was making her claims to you quite clear.

>Damnit Chrysalis, I’m not your property. I can hang with whoever I want.

>Rainbow huffs, “Yeah, I figured. It’s not like it’s a date or anything, Chrys. No need to get all worked up about it.”

>Derpy blinks, looking up at you. “Wait, you’re dating ponies now?” She smiles, “Congrats Anon! I knew you could do it!”

“...I never said that. Don’t put words in my mouth, please.”

>Rainbow Dash grins at you. You sigh, rubbing your temples. You already felt a migraine coming on...

“Well, if you want to go out, I guess we can do that. When and where?”

>Chrysalis ponders this. “How about tonight at seven?”

>Rainbow nods, “Seems good to me. How does a movie sound with you two?”

>Derpy silently watches on as Chrysalis and Rainbow begin to argue over who would choose.

>Typical mares...

 

>Hours later, you were preparing for your impending night out with Chrysalis and Rainbow Dash.

>Derpy had opted out, instead figuring she’d spend the rest of the day with Dinky.

>You couldn’t really complain. You would still have to tread lightly if you were to make it out unscathed.

>Finally happy with your appearance, you went downstairs to meet the others.

>You had put on a nicer shirt, but otherwise looked the same.

>Throwing on your jacket, you peered into the living room. Chrysalis and Rainbow Dash were still sitting about.

>They seemed rather cross with each other. Nothing new there.

>The duo notice you standing at the doorway, and rise. They trot over to you quickly.

>After a quick goodbye to Derpy and Dinky, you were on your merry way.

>Quickly throwing on a jacket, you opened the door, sights set on the movies.

>However, there was a problem, as usual.

>Right in front of your home was Fluttershy, who had on a green dress.

>She even had some makeup on. What the fuck is going on here?

>”Oh! Hi Anon! You’re ready for our date then?”

 

>You blink, frowning at her.

“What are you talking about?”

>She raises an eyebrow at you, “Our date. You said yesterday that we’d go out today...”

>Both Rainbow and Chrysalis turn to you. Chrysalis was more horrified; Rainbow Dash was instead, fuming.

>”What do you mean you asked her out? You said I’d be your first choice! What the-“

“Now hold up Rainbow, let’s figure this out. Fluttershy, when did I ask you out? Because I don’t recall ever doing such a thing.”

>She flinches away from Rainbow’s deathglare.

>”I-It was last night...  I came up to your room, at the window. I asked you out and you said yes...”

>She had wisely put quite some distance between herself and Dash while explaining herself.

>You think back to that night. Hrm... Oh. Fuck.

>That was exactly what had happened, wasn’t it? But you were tired, agitated and just wanted her gone.

>She couldn’t seriously think that you meant that, did she?

>Chrysalis pipes up, “Is this true, Anon?”

“...Yeah, I guess it is. But she got me at a bad time.”

 

>Rainbow Dash’s anger redirects to you.

>She would expect Fluttershy to try to seduce you, sure. But she also expected you to say no at every pass.

>”Well /thanks/, Anon. Guess you can go have fun with your new marefriend.”

“Come on Dash, don’t be like that. Look, why don’t we all just go to the movies and have some fun?”

>Fluttershy opens her mouth to speak. She doesn’t get a chance.

>“Why should I? You promised I’d be first, but here you are, going out with any mare that comes your way. Seriously, do you enjoy seeing me suffer?”

>Chrysalis glares at her, “Dash, stop being such a bitch about it. I’ve been trying to get Anon too, and you don’t see me whining about it!”

>You wisely back away from the two mares. Things were about to get violent.

>”Excuse me? You have no right to come in here and take him away from me! You should be locked up for trying to blow up Canterlot!”

>Ouch. Low blow, Dash. Chrysalis’ glare grows harsher. Better cool them down now...

“Both of you shut up! Honestly...”

 

>You groan, rubbing your temples. They both glare at you.

“Every day with this shit, back and forth. It’s always about you, isn’t it? Look, I fucked up. Fine.”

>You glance over to Fluttershy, who’s doing her best to stay invisible. Her pink camouflage isn't working.

“Fluttershy, look, I didn’t mean it when I said I’d go out with you. So... sorry about getting your hopes up.”

>She nods sadly.

“And Dash, look. I get it that you have a thing for me too. Fine, I can’t stop you. But you need to cool the fuck out. How do you expect me to become fine with dating mares if both of you do nothing but scare me off?”

>They blink. Clearly they hadn’t realize just what they were doing.

“Now, if you’re ready to stop being all aggressive, I’d be happy to spend a night out with all of you. But if this shit’s just going to keep happening, I think I’ll try my luck with Fluttershy.”

>Chrysalis sighs, “Hrm. Can’t have that, can we? Dash?”

>”Yeah?”

>”Truce?” She extends a hole covered hoof to her.

>Rainbow looks over at her rival’s appendage sceptically. Chrysalis rarely sued for peace.

>Rainbow Dash puts a hoof to hers, shaking it. “Fine.”

 

>You decided that you’d go do what Fluttershy had planned.

>Chrysalis and Rainbow both seemed keen on objecting, but kept their mouths shut.

>After that disgraceful display, you were seriously beginning to lose patience.

>Rainbow Dash especially. She was supposed to be your ‘bro’, but sure as hell wasn’t acting like one.

>She could say what she wanted. But she knew what niche she filled.

>Eventually the timid Fluttershy stopped before what you believed was Ponyville’s most fancy restaurant.

>Chrysalis gapes in shock. “...We’re going here? Who’s paying for this.”

>Fluttershy was about to speak, but again went too slow.

“I’ll pay. I can afford it, after all.”

>You chuckle to yourself. Filthy Rich never learned, did he?

>Stepping inside, Fluttershy fluttered over to whatever the guy running the stand is called.

>”...Your reservation is for two. I see four ponies.”

>You step over to them, your face notably absent of any emotion.

“Is there a problem, sir?”

>”Yes. Your reservation is set for two, not four. There are not enough seats available for four.”

 

>You begin to try and convince him to just push a few tables together, but he’s adamant about it.

>What a fucking prick. He had royalty, two elements of harmony and the world’s best Poker player in his establishment all at once and he couldn’t even try to accommodate you.

>Safe to say, you’d be sending a nasty letter to his manager. Muahahaha!

>Fluttershy was pretty down about the whole thing. She probably wanted to impress you with a fancy restaurant.

“Come on, let’s just go see a movie.”

>”Um... ok.”

>Soon enough, you were at the theatre.

>Rainbow has swooped over to see what was playing. So many different shows...

>Too bad for her, /you/ were picking. You chose something simple and funny.

>You figured if everyone was laughing that they wouldn’t have time to argue or harass you sexually.

>Sitting with your popcorn, you did your best to enjoy the film.

>More than a few jokes flew over your head. Equine humour just didn’t click some times.

>But everyone had a great time, even Fluttershy, who had been pretty much been ignored by everyone.

 

>Leaving the theatre, Chrysalis was still laughing at the movie’s hilarious ending.

>Rainbow had calmed down, and was leading our group out.

>All in all, the night went much better than expected.

>You pause, feeling a tug on your jacket. You turn, seeing Fluttershy.

“Hm? What’s up?”

>”...Could we uh...talk? Alone? Just for a second, I promise!”

>Eh... These seemed fishy. Fluttershy was behaving, sure, but you weren’t sure you wanted to risk it.

>Of course, your other companions were oblivious to Fluttershy’s request, and soon enough had walked off, leaving you with her.

>”Oh. Um... Well...”

“Well, looks like they chose for you. What’s on your mind?”

>She looks down, taking a few deep breaths.

>Calmed down, she looks up into your eyes.

>”Anonymous, I love you. You know this. And... well... I have to know Anonymous...”

>Her resolve begins to fail. “...Is there any way I can get you to... love me back? Anything? Please!”

“Fluttershy...”

>She raises herself onto her hind legs, placing her hooves onto your chest.

 

>”Anon, please... Is there any room in your heart for me? I don’t need much, I promise!”

>You back away from her, causing her to fall back to the ground in a clump.

“Look, Fluttershy... I get that you have feelings for me, but they aren’t mutual.”

>She begins to tear up. Damnit, stop making me feel bad. It has to be said!

“After everything we’ve been through, I honestly can’t ever see myself as your... coltfriend I guess it’s called?”

>”...N-Never? Really? B-But I’ve...” Now she’s getting angry... “I’ve given you so much! And you won’t even consider?”

>Uh oh, bad position. Better get defusing...

“Fluttershy, please. I get it. You like me. Lots of ponies like me. But I can’t.”

>Your words tear at her, her face contorting itself in pain and anger.

“But I’m always willing to be a friend. You just can’t force yourself on me like you usually do. You can’t make me love anything.”

>”I... I’m s-“

“Don’t. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll move on if you will.”

>She nods, jumping up to hug you. You let her get this one victory.

 

>You’re quickly reunited with the rest of your friends.

>Rainbow looks over worriedly, “Anon? What took you so long?”

“Nothing in particular. Anyhow, it’s late. I’m going home, and so should you.”

>Rainbow crosses her forelegs. It’s not as effective as when you do it. “Well, I guess. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure, stop by anytime.”

>Rainbow Dash is gone before you’re even out of the theatre.

>You say goodbye to Fluttershy who flies off in the opposite direction. She seems...

>Not quite happy, but understanding. You think you may have really gotten through to her this time.

>Then again, you thought you had gotten through to Applejack as well.

>She was more stubborn though.

>”So, what were you doing with Flutterstalker, as you call her?”

“Just taking out the ‘stalker.’ I think she’ll leave me alone now.”

>”Really? I don’t think so.”

>You roll your eyes and head back home. Ditto is sitting in his spot on your couch, watching some TV.

>He seemed quite proud of himself. Hopefully he didn’t beat Applejack up too badly...

 

“Oh, hey Ditto. You alright?”

>”It’s only a flesh wound. I will be fine.”

>You can’t help but wonder if there’s a pony version of Monty Python.

>Taking your seat, Chrysalis sits down where she usually does beside Ditto.

>She smiles, “Well Anon, I do believe that tonight was a success. When’s our next date?”

>Your next date? That wasn’t even an actual date; just a night out with your friends.

>But, now that you think about it, perhaps you could go out with just one.

>It’s not like you have to do romantics things, after all.

>Definitely no bars though. Chrysalis couldn’t handle her alcohol at all.

“I’ll check my schedule tomorrow and see when I can pencil you in. I’m quite busy, after all.”

>She rolls her eyes, looking to the screen. “Hmph. Right.”

“...No seriously.”

>She blinks, turning back to you. “...Seriously? You’ll...”

“Hey, why not? What do I have to lose?”

>A lot, your brain reminds you.

>Well fuck you brain. Chrysalis was... weird, sure. But she wasn’t that bad.

>...Right?