Anon and Chrysalis Ch17

The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 17: XxXSNOOOOMANZXxX[MLG][RATH]

 

>It had been a few months since your... encounter with Chrysalis.

>She had made a note to apologize for her ridiculous behaviour whenever she had the chance. It was actually getting annoying.

>Things with Rainbow Dash had gotten better. She wasn’t your bro anymore, but she still acted like one.

>You figure it’s just a part of her personality. She’s just loyal like that.

>Derpy wasn’t as busy, so she tended to hang out with you a lot too.

>Ponies apparently didn’t send much mail in the winter.

>So all in all, things were good. You leaned back in your armchair, watching some shows.

>Rainbow, Ditto, Chrysalis and Dinky were in their usual spots. Derpy was out, delivering some mail.

>Eventually, Derpy arrived to join your group.

>She had a letter in her teeth, which meant it was for you.

“Hey Derpy. Thanks for the letter.”

>You take it from her, looking for the sender. Hm?

>Derpy took up her spot on your lap, her daughter giving her a friendly hug.

“Huh. When did Pure Life get my address?”

 

>Chrysalis shrugged, “Maybe Inkie told her. Anyway, what’s it say?”

>You open up the letter, briefly skimming through its contents. Wait, what?

>Your friends take notice of your slowly paling face.

>Rainbow, every the bro, pipes up first. “Anon? What’s wrong?”

“...Why would Pure Life do this. I thought we were cool...”

>Ditto frowns. ”Anonymous? What is the matter?”

>You drop the letter. It lazily falls down, landing om Derpy’s face.

>That wasn’t exactly something you wanted. You reach down to get the letter, but Derpy’s already reading through it.

>Her cheeks turn a bright red right before you get the sheet from her. She hops off your lap, snatching up Dinky with her.

>Derpy announces very loudly that, “I’M GOING TO MAKE MUFFINS! YES!” before galloping away.

>Everyone else turns to you, confused. You crush the letter in a fist to stop any magic users from grabbing it.

>Chrysalis: “So... What was in the letter that has her worked up?”

“...Pure Life decided to tell me what happened at the party. I never asked for this.”

 

>Chrysalis chuckles, “What, she decided to go into detail of our marvellous mating?”

“Actually Chrysalis, turns out we never had sex. Joke’s on you.”

>Chrysalis chokes in shock. “W-What?”

>Rainbow Dash gapes, her mouth eventually turning to a smug grin as she turns to the changeling queen.

>She points an accusing hoof at her. ”Ha! I knew you were lying! I knew it!”

>Ditto soon found himself trapped between the two arguing mares.

>Wisely, he ducked out, getting out of their way as they began to yell and scream in fury over you.

>Why couldn’t the mares just let /you/ choose? Honestly, what the fuck.

>”...Anonymous, shall we retreat?”

“Yes. Yes we shall. To the battle bunker!”

>You head off to your room upstairs, ignoring Ditto’s confusion. Little did he know, your room was soundproofed.

>You took a seat on your bed, there being no other place to actually sit.

>”So, Anonymous, why is Derpy so flustered? This is unlike her.”

“Ditto... Derpy and I... Did some things we usually wouldn’t.”

>He nods, disturbed, “I see.”

 

>After laying low in your room with Ditto for about a half hour, you decided now was the time for damage control.

>Rainbow and Chrysalis were still sitting on the couch, angrily looking away from each other.

>With a nod, Ditto heads into the warzone to negotiate a cease fire between the two.

>That left you and Derpy.

>Turning to the kitchen, you could see Derpy was just putting in a batch of muffins into your oven.

“Uh... Derpy? Can we talk?”

>She jumps up, bumping a hind hoof into the oven door. Good thing it wasn’t hot.

>”Ow...” You approach, making sure she’s okay. She smiles nervously at you.

“You okay? That looked painful.”

>”No, no I’m okay! Honest! Um...”

>You help her up and take a seat at your kitchen table.

“So... Yeah. About that letter. Look, you don’t need to worry about it. That was a long time ago.”

>Derpy’s eyes were locked on the floor below her. “...”

“Derpy, what’s wrong?”

>”N-Nothing...” Yeah. Sure.

>You open your mouth to continue your inquiries, but think better of it. She’ll get over it, you’re sure.

 

>Eventually Rainbow Dash headed back home.

>She was lucky. Since her house was in the sky, she didn’t need to shovel any snow.

>Then again, that weather device Luna gave you kept most of it off your lawn too, but it wasn’t perfect.

>Eating a leftover muffin, you decided you head to bed after the show you were watching ended.

>Chrysalis, Ditto and all your other little ponies were asleep. Or so you thought.

>”Hi Anon...” You turn to your doorway, spotting Derpy.

“Oh hey Derpy. You feeling better?”

>She nods, “Yeah. I’ve been thinking it over, and you’re right. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Good to hear. But shouldn’t you be getting to bed? It’s getting late.”

>The mare flutters over to you, taking a perch on your chair’s arm. She smiles at you.

>”I’ll be fine. Besides, I wanted to ask you... something important.”

>You don’t like the look she’s giving you, but don’t say anything. Yet.

>”Well... I’ve been staying here with you for awhile now and... Well...”

“...Derpy, I’m not attracted to ponies. You know that.”

 

>Derpy frowns at you, her mismatched eyes rolling about in their sockets.

>”You always say that Anon. But I don’t think that’s true.”

“But it is. How would you know how I feel? You aren’t me.”

>She pauses, “Well... No. I’m not. But look into your heart Anon...”

>She places a hoof on your chest. You look down at it judgingly.

>”Are you really sure there’s no room in there for somep0ny else?”

>Was there any room? Despite how cheesy her words were, they had some merit.

>You thought it through. Perhaps there really was no point in saying no anymore. Hell, you had what, seven mares who were showing interest?

>You definitely didn’t have this many back on Earth. No siree.

>But Anon, they’re ponies. Not humans. It’s not right.

>They can talk though. Can normal ponies talk? No. It’s not the same.

>But isn’t it Anon? Isn’t it the same?

>”Anon, are you alright?”

>You blink, looking back to Derpy. You had clearly zoned out for a bit there.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Honest.”

>She frowns, not believing you. “Well, okay. Just think about it, okay? I don’t like seeing you all alone...”

 

>You groan, the light shining in from your window violently awakening you.

>Derpy’s ‘words of wisdom’ had haunted you for most of the night, keeping you up.

>Regardless, you had shit to do. Shows to watch. Routines to morning.

>In your bathroom, you brushed your teeth. Had to keep them shiny and white, after all.

>You didn’t expect Derpy to come in and join you though. She was usually done this stuff much earlier.

>Spitting out the mixture inhabiting your mouth, you turn to face her.

“Morning Derpy. You running late?”

>”Uh... A little. Woke up later than usual.”

“I told you. You should have gone to bed.”

>She shrugs, “Guess so. I’m so used to getting eight hours of sleep, I guess my body just makes me get it now.”

>You nod, somewhat understanding. “So, Anon, did you think about what I said?”

“Don’t you have to get to work?”

>She rolls her eyes, “Trust me Anon! You won’t regret it!” She flies off to deliver the town’s mail.

>You weren’t sure though. Could you actually be in a relationship with a pony?

 

>Chrysalis was sitting on the couch, as per usual.

“Hey Chrys. Let’s go do something outside.”

>She looks over to you, her emotions torn. She loved doing stuff with you, sure, but she hated the winter.

>”...Can’t we do something together here? Like... Watch My Little Molly?”

>You’ve already got your winter coat on and everything. [spoiler][/spoiler]”Come on Chrys, let’s go outside. It’ll be fun!”

>Ditto nods, “Yes. Enjoy the winter weather. I will hold down the fort.”

>Chrysalis glares at him, “No! If I’m going outside, so are you! Come on Ditto!”

>Chrysalis gets up, rushing over to you. She’s once again up in your face.

>However, this time you push her back a bit. She seems a bit upset by this.

>”Hey, what’s with the shooving?”

“You’re too close. Again. Seriously, stop doing that.”

>She leans in closer. ”You can’t make me stop, Anon.”

>You open your mouth to make her aware that you definitely can, but she instead plants a kiss right on your lips, silencing you.

>She pulls back, giggling. “You were saying?”

 

>You give her your best angry glare. She is unphased.

>”Anonymous, you realize I can feel your emotions, right? I know you’re not mad.”

“That doesn’t mean you can just do that to me. Honestly, give it a rest already.”

>She flinches away, reluctantly nodding. Seems her emotion radar picked up a thick stream of ‘stop being an ass.’

“Now, if you’re done, let’s go.”

>Heading out, you think of a few things to go do. You hadn’t seen a few of your other friends in awhile; May as well go say hello.

>Strolling down the snowy roads of Ponyville, your group quickly makes its way to the town center.

>Shit. Applejack and Fluttershy at twelve o’clock.

>Chrysalis taps your shoulder. You look over to her, “They won’t cause any trouble with us here. Calm yourself.”

“Hrm. Right. Let’s just try to avoid them then.”

>You would have no such luck, as just then the duo noticed you. Double shit.

>”Howdy Anon! Ah trust y’all are doin’ well?”

“...I’m fine.”

>She smiles. It’s far too friendly to be normal. She’s up to something. “Good ta hear!”

 

>Fluttershy continues to stare at you from behind her locks of pink.

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes, “What are you up to, Applejack. You’re never this... nice.”

>Applejack puts a hoof on her chest, gaping in disbelief like a bad actor would. “Me? Up to something? Don’t be silly Chrys! I ain’t planning anything at all.”

>Ditto narrows his eyes at her, but says nothing. His stare makes her uneasy.

>She quickly changes the subject. ”Didja hear, Anon? The school’s got some sorta Snowp0ny contest goin’ on. Y’all should check it out!”

>Despite Applejack having a poor track record in recent history, this still piqued your interest.

>Maybe you could watch the fillies make some of the so called ‘Snow Ponies.’ Could be fun.

“Thanks for the tip, AJ. I think we’ll head over later.”

>She nods, smiling far too widely again, “Glad ah could help! Anyway ah gotta go. C’mon Flutters.”

>Applejack trots off, Fluttershy right behind her. As they reach a corner, Fluttershy steals one last glance before disappearing from sight.

>Chrysalis frowns, “...Are we really going to this little contest?”

 

>Yes. Yes you were.

>Arriving at the schoolhouse didn’t take long. From the town center it took maybe ten minutes?

>The contest was already in full swing, the fillies and colts of the school split up into the teams, doing their best to construct the largest and coolest snow pony.

>The Cutie Mark Crusaders were off in one spot trying to make what appeared to be a Rainbow Dash snowp0ny. Cute.

>Snips, Snails and... Twist, you belief, were working on some sort of... thing. It didn’t look anything like a pony at all, really.

>Elsewhere you saw that fat kid, Featherweight and another unknown filly trying to make what appeared to be a bowl of snow icecream. The fat colt kept eating it, so it wasn’t that big.

>And of course, Diamond Tiara and her probably friend with benefits Silver Spoon were building what appeared to be a giant diamond. Made of snow.

>”...Not very many snow /ponies/, are there?”

>You and Chrysalis both looked over to Ditto.

“No, not really. Perhaps we can change that?”

 

>Your trio made its approach on the busily working ponies.

>Cheerilee eventually took notice of you and trotted over. “Hello Anon!”

>Chrysalis cleared her throat. Cheerilee uneasily looked over to her. “Oh, uh... Hello your majesty.”

>”...Hmph.”

“How’s your contest going?”

>”Well... The idea was snow ponies, but looks like it’s just snow sculptures now. Heh...”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe. Anyway we could help?”

>She ponders this for a moment before saying, “Well, maybe you could help me judge? It’d be much easier with a panel to decide.”

>Chrysalis smiles, “Ah, finally something important to do. Sure, let’s take a look at these... sculptures.”

>Cheerliee smiles nervously at the mighty queen, “Uh... They aren’t ready for judging yet...”

>”...Of course. Fine. Call me when you need me.”

>Chrysalis trots away, magically removing snow from a patch of ground before taking a seat there.

>That left you, Cheerilee and Ditto. You all silently agreed to not call her up when it came time to judge the goods.

 

>You head about between the groups, taking a look at what they had come up with.

>The CMC was adamant on making a Rainbow Dash sculpture. Or at least that’s what Scootaloo said.

>Applebloom was more keen on making one of her big brother or sister. Sweetie Belle was much the same.

>Unfortunately, Scootaloo, who was apparently ‘the team leader’, had chosen for them.

>Their morale was not as high as it could be, clearly.

>Snips and Snails were arguing about what they should make. Time was ticking and they still only had a blob of snow.

>Ditto was the one who came up with the solution to their dilemma.

>”...Why not make a snow changeling?”

>And so that’s exactly what they began to work on. Unfortunately, Ditto had to stay to model for them.

>You weren’t overly worried though. It’s not like he could get drunk off of snow.

>...Right?

>Shaking the thoughts, you quickly take a look at the snow icecream before reluctantly moving on to Diamond Tiara’s diamond.

>This should be good.

 

“Hey there. What are you guys building?”

>Diamond Tiara turns to you, putting on her best flirt face. Ew.

>”Hey there Anon! We’re making a really big diamond!”

>Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow at her probably lover’s behaviour. You too, were confused.

>Diamond Tiara was a dominatrix and moreover, a bitch. Why was she being so nice to you?

“...I see. It’s definitely big.”

>”Yeah... Though, I bet you prefer smaller ones.”

“They’re easier to wear, that’s for sure. Anyway uh... good work, I guess.”

>”Thanks Anon! Maybe we could make another one later?”

“Um... No.”

>Her smile deflates immediately, her usual bitchy self returning in full force. “Oh. Fine. Hmph. See if I care!”

“Alrighty then.”

>Diamond Tiara looks away from you. After a pause, she opens up an eye, looking over to you.

>”...Why aren’t you begging for me back?”

“...You do this a lot, don’t you?”

>”...Come on, please? I need you to help me upset my dad!”

>What. “He really doesn’t like you, and since he took away my allowance I need to show you off to him! Come on!”

“...No.”

 

>Before the rebellious child could continue to complain about you not helping her piss of her dad, Cheerilee arrives on the scene.

>”Hello Anon, girls. How’s everything going here?”

>Silver Spoon grunts, “Could be better. You know like, if our third teammate would actually help us.”

>Cheerilee frowns, “Dinky isn’t helping? Where is she?”

>They both point to a tree. You can actually see Dinky sulking off beside it.

“Huh. I’ll go check up on her. Be right back.”

>Cheerilee doesn’t object. It wasn’t exactly secret knowledge that she lived with you after all.

>She looks over to you once you arrive, her eyes a bit teary.

“Hey Dinky... what’s wrong?”

>”N-Nothing. Nothing is wrong.”

>You’re about to tell her not to bullshit you, but you remember that it’s not exactly wise to swear at or around fillies. Instead, you say:

“Come on Dinky, you can trust me. What’s wrong?”

>She shifts in the snow, sinking into it a bit. “D-Diamond Tiara was making fun of me again...”

>Of course. Diamond sure was a magnet for trouble...

“...What did she say this time?”

 

>She looked over at you, tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “S-She said that I’m stupid because my mom is too... but mom isn’t stupid. Why is she always picking on me?”

>Crap. You honestly should have seen this coming.

“...Well, your mom is different from normal ponies, sure. But that’s what makes her special.”

>She nods. “B-But why does she make fun of me then?”

>Hrm. Roadblock. What to do...

“Uh... Well, it’s probably because she’s jealous.”

>She doesn’t seem to certain this time around. “She’s... jealous of my mommy?”

“Yes uh... Yes. Well, not of her, she’s jealous that she isn’t her mom. I think.”

>”...Um... okay?”

“Look, she wants what you have. That’s why she mocks you and stuff.”

>”...You said my mom is special, right?”

>You nod.

>”Um... Do you like my mom? ‘Cause that’s kind of weird. No offense, but... you aren’t really good dad material.”

“What? Why not?”

>”...You don’t have a job.”

>Checkmate Anon. She’s got you there.

>Shut up brain, no one asked you.

 

>It took you a second to realize that you hadn’t denied her accusations fully.

“Also, no I don’t like your mom... like that. We’re just friends.”

>She raises an eyebrow, “...Right.”

“No seriously, I don’t.”

>”Yeah, I figured. You seem to be more into Chrys anyway.”

“...I don’t like her either.”

>”Then why are you two always kissing?”

>You sigh, facepalming. You reach down, picking up the little filly.

“It’s complicated.”

>You head back over to Cheerilee and her students. She was busy berating Diamond Tiara for teasing. Again.

“I see you’ve got things here all wrapped up?”

>”Just about. Diamond Tiara, apologize to Dinky.”

>Grumbling, she lets out probably the least sincere apology in Equestrian history.

>Cheerilee sighs. “Be nice, you two.”

>Deciding it’d be a bad idea to just leave Dinky around with the angry Diamond Tiara, you continue to carry her around. She seems to be enjoying the ride, so everything’s good.

>Eventually it came time to judge the statues.

>Ultimately, the CMC managed victory. It helped that they actually made a pony.

 

>You decided to bring Dinky with you back home. There wasn’t much else to do that day, so Cheerilee was fine with you taking her.

>Chrysalis smiled, “So, what’s next? Or are we heading back?”

>Her face made it clear she really wanted to go back home.

“We’re heading home.” You glance down to the filly in your arms. “Unless you want to do something else?”

>”Nah. Home sounds good. It’s cold outside anyway.”

>You couldn’t disagree. It was way too damn cold out. God damnit Dash...

>Eventually you made it back to your house. There was, of course, a problem, though.

>A big, white, snowy problem. An absolutely gigantic snowp0ny stood where your door would usually be, blocking your entry.

“Seriously? What the f...Why would someone do this?”

>”Ah take it y’all are impressed then?”

>You turn around to see a smug Applejack and a shy Fluttershy.

>Chrysalis throws her head up dramatically, “Oh good! You. My day is now complete.”

>”...Uh, Chrys, nothin’ personal but ah’m not really interested in ya...”

>Chrysalis laughs, “Please. Let’s not be silly.”

 

>Ditto shakes his head, “I will go melt this... thing.”

>He heads over to the snowman block your door, but backs away.

“Something wrong Ditto?”

>”...Alcohol. I smell alcohol in the snowp0ny.”

>Oh wonderful. A flammable snowp0ny. Just what you needed!

“Applejack, seriously, what do you want?”

>”Y’all know what we want.”

“Shame the answer is still no. Go away.”

>”Yeah! Leave Anonymous alone!”

>Applejack and Fluttershy were both fairly surprised that Dinky was calling them out, but they held their ground.

>Chrysalis also held her ground, getting into a fighting pose. Violence was always her first choice...

 >”Chrys, Ah ain’t gonna let you keep Anon from me!”

>”Try me.” Her horn lit up, crackling with likely dangerous magic.

>Applejack’s resolve didn’t falter in the slightest. Fluttershy’s did, however. She backed away from the soon to be fighting mares.

“Wait, wait wait, no. Stop. I’m not having you two fighting over me.”

>Applejack frowned, “...So yer gonna take us both? Well Ah suppose Ah can live with that... As long as Ah go first.”

“No, Applejack. I’m not... Ugh. Move the snowp0ny!”

 

>Your wishes were answered by your door opening up, pushing the snowp0ny away.

>It pomfed onto the ground below, losing coherence.

>Inside the house was Derpy, who had apparently been struggling to get the door open previously.

>”Dumb snowp0ny. Why was he sitting there?”

>Dinky smiles, happy to see her mother. “Hi mom!”

>”Oh, hi muffin! How was school?”

>”Great! Mr. Anonymous helped cheer me up and helped judge our snowp0ny contest!”

>Derpy smiles happily at you, oblivious of the development behind you.

“Why don’t we head inside? Warm up and such?”

>Chrysalis nods, “Seems good to me. Good day to you /Applejack./”

>She blinks, her ingenious plan falling apart at the seams. “B-But... Wait no!”

>It was too late. You had already made your way inside, the door shut and locked behind.

>Fluttershy sighs. “Back to the drawing board?”

>Applejack shakes her head. ”...Ah suppose so.”

>The duo trot away to plan their next move. It would need to be big to get Chrysalis out of the way.

 

>Hours had passed and now you and your companions were sitting about, watching TV.

>You sigh. It seemed you always ended up just watching TV. Perhaps you could do something else?

“Hey guys, isn’t there anything else we could do?”

>Chrysalis shrugged, “I could try to fetch one of my royal entertainers, but he’d probably take awhile to get here.”

>Rainbow, who had arrived a bit earlier, nodded. “Yeah, let’s not bother with that. Honestly I think I know how we could liven things up anyway.”

“...Why do I get the feeling this involves alcohol.”

>”Because it does?” Rainbow hops off her couch perch, searching around.

>Eventually she discovers your secret stockpile under a floorboard. She pulls out some whiskey from it.”

>Derpy frowns at her, “Rainbow, my daughter is here you know.”

>Rainbow shrugs, “It’s not like she’s having any. Relax.”

>Sadly, she took her words a bit too much to heart.

>About ten minutes later, pretty much everyone save yourself, Dinky and Ditto had a buzz going.

>You had wisely stayed off the booze. At least Rainbow was enjoying herself.

>”Um... Mr. Anonymous?”

>You look down at Dinky, who was watching her swaying mother worriedly.

 

“Yeah Dinky?”

>”I’m gonna go to bed. Make sure my mom doesn’t get hurt, okay?”

“No problem. She’s safe with me.”

>Dinky smiles at you before heading off to her bedroom. What a nice kid.

>Chrysalis laughs hysterically at a mild joke from the cartoon she was watching.

“It’s not really that funny, Chrysalis.”

>”You don’t even have a sense of humour, Anon! You can’t judge me!”

>She takes another drink from her glass, finishing what is either her third or fourth drink of the night.

>Well, at least she knew how to enjoy herself.

>”Ooh, we should play spin the bottle! What do you think Anon?”

“I’ll pass.”

>”Oh come on! I’ve got a bottle right here!”

>She holds up the bottle of whiskey to make her point. It’s still about half full.

“You realize you can’t play it properly unless it’s empty, right?”

>”Easily fixed!”

>She proceeds to pour another glass for Derpy and Chrysalis. Ditto’s glass remained full and untouched.

>”Drink up! If we finish it we can play spin the bottle with Anon! Wooo!”

 

>You had eventually had Derpy swap positions with Ditto, for your own sake.

>Derpy’s attempts at flying over to his seat had failed quite spectacularly. Wing boners prevent flight kids!

>So now, Ditto uncomfortably was sitting in your lap. It was... a weird experience.

>”Anonymous, what do we do? They’ve almost finished the bottle...”

“How long would it take for you to get your change marines in place?”

>”Too long. We’re alone in this one.”

“God help us all.”

>Rainbow Dash finishes chugging down the last of the booze. “Huh... It’s empty.”

>Chrysalis cheers, “Spin time! Yes!”

>And so they begin to spin the bottle, Chrysalis going first.

>You’re pretty sure she used her magic to cheat. The bottle lands right on you. Fuck fuck fuck.

>”Alright big boy, pucker up.” She gets up, slowly staggering toward you. Yeah, no.

>You toss Ditto into her face, the two of them ending up pecking each other.

>”Y-Your majes-“

>Chrysalis silences him, “Meh. Good enough for now.”

>And then she pounced, pinning her royal commander onto the ground, kissing him passionately. And also very sloppily.

 

>Ditto looks over to you, his eyes begging you to save him. You would not.

>You wouldn’t touch that shit with the 10,000 meter long pole. He was lucky you hadn’t already bailed.

>Rainbow went next, spinning the bottle.

>She figured this was her chance to get you while your Ditto shield was occupied.

>Unfortunately, she spun Derpy. “Crap. Well Derps you spin nex-“

>She was cut off by Derpy tackling her, giggling sweetly. “I knew you liked me!”

>”D-Derpy, what are yo-“

>Cut off again, by Derpy’s lips. Her hooves were already clumsy, but this was craziness. No really.

>She pretty much fell off of Rainbow Dash while she tried to make out with her.

>God this, fucking household. If only you had a brazzers logo to slap onto it.

>Eventually Chrysalis let her minion go. He buzzed away from her, horribly violated. “W-W-“

>”Ditto, remember, you exist to serve me! The queen! Hahaah! Yeah...”

>Chrysalis chuckled at a joke she didn’t even bother telling. “I can see why Pinkie likes you so much... You taste /good./”

 

>Ditto pales, though it’s not as effective thanks to his black coat.

>He takes a seat on your chair’s arm, compressing himself into a little ball.

“You okay Ditto?”

>”N-No. I just made out with my queen. This isn’t supposed to happen.”

“Nah. You made out with Drunk Chrysalis. Queen Chrysalis is completely different.”

>He doesn’t seem so sure.

>Derpy eventually gets off of Rainbow Dash, who had obtained a permanent wingboner from Derpy’s ‘make out’ session.

>You were still considering if you’d be able to escape if you made a break for it.

>Rainbow and Derpy couldn’t fly, and Chrysalis’ magic was at least partially disabled.

>Chrysalis grins, getting an idea, “Hey girls... Here’s a thought. If you roll someone who’s already been rolled, you gotta take it further? Sound fun?”

>Rainbow grins back. Was there some sort of aphrodisiac in that whiskey? “Yeah! That’s a great idea!”

“No, no it’s really not.”

>Regardless, Derpy moved forward, sloppily spinning the bottle.

>You find yourself praying it falls off the table and shatters. The next best thing occurs.

>Chrysalis giggles, “Ooh, too bad Derpy. Guess you rolled the wall!”

 

>She sulks, eyes rolling about at random, “Darn.”

>Rainbow is confused by this, “Wait, you can do that? Does that mean Derpy has to kiss the wall?”

>”But Rainbow, the wall doesn’t have a mouth!”

“Yeah, uh... let’s just say it’s a pass. Yes.”

>Chrysalis grunts, “Whatever. Your turn Anon... Come on, roll. You won’t be disappointed.”

>Well fuck. There’s no way you can get away, is there?

>Chrysalis’ horn is already glowing, likely to grab you if you run.

>You grip the glass liquid container in your right hand. Silently, you pray to the gods of bottle spinning that they be kind to you.

>And don’t give you Derpy Hooves...

>The bottle takes off with a flick of your wrists, the room growing silent as it spins and spins.

>Surely, this would be the last thing you ever do.

>...You had actually spun it pretty hard. It took so long to stop that you actually grabbed Ditto’s whiskey glass and drank the entire thing in one go.

>Liquid courage, protect me!

>The bottle stopped. And everyone looked to the pony it stopped on.

 

>”Anonymous... Uh...”

>Fate decided to be a bitch. You had spun Ditto. DITTO.

>It was bad enough that we was a pony. Er... Changeling. But he’s also male. Nope.

>Nope. Nope. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE!

>Chrysalis frowns, “Really? Him? Ugh, of course.”

>Rainbow shrugs, “Well, get too it Anon.”

>Derpy adds in, “Yeah! Come on!”

“No fucking way in hell. I’d rather have sex with Fluttershy.”

>Ditto gives you a horrified expression. In fact, most of the room is giving you a variant of it.

>Ditto eventually breaks the silence. “Uh... Should I be offended by that?”

“Take it as you will. I’m going to bed.”

>You get up, quickly shuffling the fuck out of there.

>Chrysalis’ magic whips out to catch you, but she’s too slow. Victory.

>You quickly make your way to your room and initiate lockdown.

>Lockdown was your answer to blocking Flutterstalker and occasionally the Applerapist. You lock up your door, activate your heavy duty lock, and put that chest in front of the door to prevent access.

>Just in time too. Just as you backed from the door, there was a knock.

 

>A muffled masculine voice yelled from inside. Clearly not soundproofed enough.

“Sugarcube Corner. Go!”

>You can hear the sounds of some drunken mares charging after him. From the sounds of it, he got away.

>That left them to start beating on your door. Shit. You should have gone for that magic jammer...

>Luckily, Chrysalis isn’t able to focus her magic enough to break down your door. Doesn’t stop her from trying, though.

>This continues for another twenty minutes before the mares finally settled down.

>You attempt to get some sleep, but it doesn’t work out. Derpy was still trying to bash your door down.

>Sighing, you search around for some ear muffs. Unfortunately, Chrysalis had borrowed them months ago.

>Then there was a tap on your window. Groaning, you get out of bed at head to it.

>Outside is Fluttershy. As if you didn’t have enough troubles.

>Unable to see what could go wrong, you open the window.

“Yes? What is it?”

>”Um... Anon. I know you don’t like me, but... do you think we could go out tomorrow? I promise, no uh... you know...”

“Yeah, fine. Whatever. Go to bed, Fluttershy.”

>You close the window in her face and head back to bed. Derpy was still at it.

>New Rule: No more fucking alcohol stashes in this god damn house.