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Anon and Chrysalis Ch 13 - Act 3

By: HeshieokFasla on May 30th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 45.53 KB | hits: 696 | expires: Never

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The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis
Chapter 13: We Are Vegas
Act 3: The Augmentation of Asking for Unwanted Things
>It was a bright and sunny morning in the wonderful city of Las Pegasus.
>The ponies did their pony chores, young ponies went to school and old ponies lost thousands at Casinos.
>Everything was as it should be in the morning of a gambling headquarters.
>Except the sun. The sun was too fucking bright.
>You groan as it washes over you. How much alcohol did you even drink?
>That crazy punch didn’t even have any alcohol in it. Just that... other stuff.
>What the fuck did they put in there?
>You get shuffle out of bed, heading over to the somewhat open window.
>If Celestia won’t turn down the fucking lights, you sure as hell will.
>Now that your room is dark enough to prevent permanent blindness, you take inventory of your surroundings.
>On the plus side, you had managed to get to bed.
>However, you had somehow lost all of your clothing in the process.
>It’s a wonder you didn’t feel that breeze earlier. You search about the floor, seeing if you can find your usual clothes. You cannot.
>You wonder why you are naked in the first place.
>It’s not like you slept with nothing on or anything like that.
>You open up your suitcase, grabbing a new outfit for the day.
>You manage to get another of your billion pairs of boxers as well as shirt on before you hear a noise coming from your bed.
>Cautiously, you turn toward it, making out a fairly large lump under the covers.
>Whoever that is, they are about to get a rude awakening.
>You slowly walk over to their side of the bed, then in one swift motion throw the covers off of them.
>It’s definitely not who you expected to find.
>Queen Chrysalis, sovereign of the changelings, is lying on your bed.
>The warmth of your covers quickly leaves her, causing her eyelids to pry themselves apart.
>”Hm...? Anon?”
“Chrysalis, why are you in my bed?”
>She yawns, still tired from the previous night’s shenanigans.
>”What are you talking about? This is...” She’s cut off by another yawn, “...my bed.”
“No, it’s mine alright. My suitcase is right over there.”
>You point over to it to emphasize your point. She doesn’t even bother looking.
>But then it hits you.
>Why the hell would you /and/ Chrysalis be in one bed? And why were you naked in that bed?
>Simple.
>You fucked her, that’s why.
>And to make matters worse, you don’t even remember why.
>Slowly, you back away from her, the horrifying truth coming to bare.
>She wasn’t even in her human form. You quite literally fucked a bug horse.
>Excellent work, Anonymous! Dad will be so proud of you!
>Shut the fuck up brain! Now is not the time for this!
>”Anonymous? What’s going on?”
>You take a deep breath to calm yourself. It doesn’t really help.
“Chrysalis, something was in that punch we drank last night.”
>She sits up, cracking a few joints, “Mhm, and?”
“...It fucked us up. And then we fucked.”
>She nods, “Ah yes. I see.”
>Then it hits her, seemingly even worse than it had hit you.”
>”WE DID WHAT?”
“Chrysalis, calm down! I’m sure we can figure this out! But yelling is not going to help anyone.”
>Chrysalis shrinks into the bed, face almost beet red. “...We had sex.”
>You decide to try and lighten the mood, for her sake.
“Well uh, congratulations. You are the first pony to actually get me. Heh...”
>Your comedic abilities fall flat on the Queen of the Changelings.
>”Anon... I’m sorry. Really!”
“Chrysalis, it’s uh... Fine.”
>She rolls her eyes at you, not buying your words for a second.
>You don’t even really buy them yourself. This was terrible.
>”...Now what happens?”
“Uh... Honestly, I’m not sure. I never thought I’d yaknow...”
>”Right. Well...” She gets out of bed, standing at full height.
>Her face remains fairly red as she magically opens up your door. She doesn’t make eye contact the entire time.
>”Do you have any idea who put that... whatever in our drinks?”
“I think I may...”
>She nods, following you out of the room.
>The hallway is much more of a mess than your room is. That much is for sure. You even find one of your socks on the ground.
>However, you have better things to do than gather up every little article of clothing you own.
>You have a mission to complete. You walk right over to Pinkie’s room...
>...and very loudly bang on the door.
>If she wasn’t up before, she sure as hell is now.
>You look over at Chrysalis, who doesn’t meet your gaze.
>She probably won’t be much support, you realize.
>You grab the knob, turning it.
>Pinkie didn’t even lock her door. Did she not see this coming?
>Whatever. Time for angry words directed at friendly party ponies. What could possibly go wrong?
>Inside is even darker than your room. Her window looks directly at another building, so the sun can’t leak into it as well. Lucky bastard.
>You turn on the lights, instantly regretting it as the bright light floods into your vision, blinding you temporarily.
>The pained cries of a number of ponies however makes it clear that Pinkie is not alone in here.
>Perhaps she hired a few bodyguards to protect herself from your infinite wrath?
>Chrysalis stands at the doorway, not coming in for fear of burning eyes. Or maybe just to avoid you.
>”Oh god, my fucking head...”
>That voice was definitely not Pinkamena Diane Pie. No...
>That was the voice of Inkie Pie.
>Finally your vision is restored, giving you a good view at Pinkie’s bed.
>Inside it is, besides Pinkie herself, three other ponies. Inkie... Blinkie...
>And, of course, Ditto.
>Damn, he managed three mares in one night. He is officially a player.
“Good morning girls. And Ditto.”
>Blinkie moans in agony, unable to open her eyes. Pinkie is up fairly quickly, blushing when she sees she was hanging onto Ditto.
>As for Ditto himself, despite your actions he’s still out cold. Maybe he mixed his drugs with alcohol?
>You recall Inkie’s words to you before everything became a blur.
>You give her your coldest glare. She actually flinches from it.
“Inkie, what the fuck did you do?”
>Chrysalis stands beside you silently demanding the same.
>She blinks a bit, eventually rubbing her eyes. “Ugh... That depends. I’ve done a lot of things...”
>You let out a harsh laugh, one devoid of any humour.
“Fucking hilarious, Inkie. What the fuck was in that punch?”
>Blinkie is about half awake now, looking at her sister with Pinkie.
>”Oh that? Hm...”
>She puts a hoof on her chin, lazily thinking up an answer. Your patience is quickly running out.
>”Oh right. Yeah a bunch of cool chemicals and stuff. Really makes the users trip out, what can I say?”
“...What kind of chemicals?”
>She yawns, “Oh just a few hallucinogens, aphrodisiacs, other hormone generator things. You know.”
>You just stare at her, horrified.
“Why did you put that shit in the punch again?”
>”Why didn’t you?”
>Pinkie groans in frustration. “Sis! Didn’t I tell you to stop doing that at my parties?”
>“Yeah, but they aren’t any fun if I don’t. No offense, but they are kind of like, childish.”
>Pinkie looks away from her, sulking angrily.
>Blinkie hops over Ditto to comfort her, but fails to clear him, jabbing him in the gut with a hoof.
>Safe to say, he’s now quite awake.
>”Ack! We’re under attack! Evasive manoeuvres!”
“No Ditto, it’s just Blinkie.”
>He blinks, looking ahead to indeed see Blinkie Pie. She smiles nervously at him. “Uh... Sorry about that.”
>”Uh... It was alright. No harm done.”
>That’s when you notice the bright gold ring around her leg. In fact, all of the Pie sisters have one of them.
>As does Ditto. What the...?
“Uh guys? What’s up with the rings?”
>The all collectively blink, looking down at the rings they are wearing. Chrysalis gasps.
>You turn to her, concerned.
“Chrys? What’s up?”
>”Anonymous... Those rings...”
>She isn’t able to finish her statement as just then Inkie lets out a horrified shriek.
>She almost immediately begins trying to pry the ring off her ankle, but it holds steady.
“Chrysalis? What are those rings?”
>She shakes her head, “Wedding bracelets.”
>Blinkie gasps, backing away from the changeling who smiles nervously.
>”It is not my fault! I did not intend this!”
>Pinkie just sits down beside Ditto, looking at the ring bound to her.
>”You know, Ditto, when I said I’d be your marefriend, this isn’t what I meant...”
>Ditto shrinks down, looking at his own ring in shame.
>Inkie for the first time seens legitimately concerned. “I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t ask for this!”
>She continues her mantra, spouting the sacred words between deep breaths.
>Serves her fucking right. That’s what happens when you drug an entire party for fun.
>Blinkie pulls her sister into a hug, but is rather violently swatted away.
>Inkie glares at her, “This is your fault Blinkie! You were supposed to make sure I didn’t drink the punch!”
>”Well maybe /you/ shouldn’t have drugged the punch!”
“Yeah, Inkie, you really shouldn’t have done that.”
>She growls at you, but doesn’t go any further.
>”Whatever. Where’s a priest? I’m getting this crap annulled ASAP.”
>Chrysalis laughs bitterly, “Tough luck, Inkie! You can’t!”
>Inkie jumps off the bed, landing in front of the queen. “Oh really? And why’s that, oh mighty one!”
>”Because, you idiot! Changeling marriages are permanent! It’s the law!”
>”I don’t follow your silly changeling laws! Now move!”
>Chrysalis moves alright. Right into the doorway. She sits down, completely blocking it.
>Inkie’s eye twitches in rage. Wisely, you take a few steps back from the angry mare.
>”Move damnit!”
>”No thank you, I’m comfortable right here.”
>Inkie lets out a frustrated groan. She turns back to the bed, reaching under it. She pulls out a bag.
>From it she pulls out a crossbow, likely to make Chrysalis move. She doesn’t get the chance.
>Ditto is on her within seconds, pinning her to the ground, her weapon sliding away on the floor.
>”Get off of me damnit! I’m getting a divorce and you can’t stop me!”
>However, Ditto doesn’t relent an inch. For having such a small frame, he’s pretty damn tough.
>”I will not allow you to hurt the Queen!”
>”Your queen is a bitch and you know it! Get off!”
>Ditto snarls at her, but remains in his position.
“Ditto... You can’t just hold her there forever. We need to use diplomacy.”
>Pinkie nods, agreeing, “Yeah!” She turns to the changeling queen.
>”Alright Ms. Chrysalis! You say that there’s no way to annul a changeling marriage. Is that really the case?”
>She nods, “Correct. You’re stuck with him for good.”
>She ‘hm’s, then continues. “But how do we know it was a /changeling/ wedding and not a normal wedding? I doubt there are changeling priests living in this city, no matter how diverse it is.”
>She thinks it over, “Perhaps. Can I see one of those rings?”
>Pinkie nods, hopping off the bed and walking over to the queen.
>She holds her hoof up in Chrysalis’ face, giving her a good view of the ring.
>Chrysalis begins to look it over, her horn glowing its usual green.
>You look over to Blinkie, the only mare not preoccupied.
>”Uh hey Anon. Sorry about all this...”
“It’s fine Blinkie. I just have one question...”
>”Oh sure, what?”
“Why the fuck are you even in Las Pegasus?”
>Some time later you managed to get all the ponies calmed down.
>Pinkie was pretty upset to learn that the rings had a special magic enchantment that signified they were legit changeling wedding rings.
>That would definitely be something difficult to explain to her family, no doubts there.
>Then again, you fucked a horse. You’d have a hard time explaining that too.
>Pinkie sighs, looking over at the changeling commander, who was still restraining Inkie Pie.
>Inkie took the news that she was really stuck with Ditto even worse than she did, redoubling her efforts to break free and get to her crossbow.
>You aren’t sure if it was to shoot up Chrys and Ditto, or herself.
>Regardless of her planned path, she could not be allowed to get her weapon of choice.
>Blinkie ended up taking it apart and storing it back in Inkie’s bag. If she did get free, you’d at least have a chance to stop her before she hurt someone.
“So, uh Ditto. I guess you are stuck there with your new wife, huh?”
>You figure you’d try to lighten the mood with a few jokes.
>”It would appear so.”
“Well, uh. I’ve seen lots of movies. I know what might calm her down.”
>”Hm? What would that be?”
>Pinkie rolls her eyes, “Anon, angry sex isn’t going to help at all. Trust me.”
>Eventually you decide to do your usual morning routine to the best of your abilities.
>You figure you can wake up Derpy, Luna and the others later, when your jimmies regenerate some health points.
>You open up your bathroom, walking in with Chrysalis.
>Normally you’d have a shower, but you doubt you will ever be clean again and skip it.
>You pick up your toothbrush and the toothpaste. You squeeze some out.
>Chrysalis is wearily standing beside you. Usually she removes everyone from the bathroom when she’s in here.
>You figure it’s because she’s tired as opposed to because she doesn’t mind anymore.
>You squeeze some toothpaste onto her brush.
>That’s when you hear a low growl.
>Slowly, both of you turn toward the bathtub. You both share an uneasy glance.
>Cautiously you approach it, pulling back the curtain.
>Well. That was not expected.
“Uh... Good morning? Why are you in my bathtub?”
>The tiger shrugs, “Honestly, I don’t remember anything. What’s up?”
“Not much. Just brushing my uh... teeth. Yes.”
>”Right. Got a spare brush?”
>The tiger was much nicer than you thought she would be.
>Turns out vicious predators aren’t all that vicious if they can talk back. Good times.
>The tiger yawns, laying down on the floor of your bathroom as you finish up.
“You just gonna uh... chill in here?”
>She shrugs, “Yeah I guess. Get me a drink if you get a chance though. Tap water ain’t exactly quenching.”
“Right.”
>You leave the room with Chrysalis who was fairly freaked the fuck out by the feline intruder. You close the bathroom door.
>”What was that thing?”
“A tiger. Feline predator from China or something. Luckily this one can talk.”
>She nods, not having the slightest clue what the fuck you are talking about. Oh well, her loss.
>You look over at Derpy/Luna’s room. Well, better wake them up.
>You open up the door, flicking on the lights. Two distinctive groans ring out in the room.
>...Neither of them belong to the room’s normal occupants however.
“Shining Armor? Cadance? Why the hell are you in my hotel room?”
>Shining Armor sits up, bags under his eyes. “What are you talking about? This is our room...”
“No bro. It’s not.”
>You let Shining and Cadance chill out for a bit and open up the last room in your suite.
>Unfortunately, the room of Rainbow Dash is empty.
>No Luna, no Derpy, and no Rainbow. Fantastic...
>Sighing, you turn to go fetch Pinkie, Blinkie, Inkie and Ditto. Half of that group is already outside in the hallway.
“Uh... Is Ditto still holding down Inkie in the other room?”
>Pinkie shakes her head, while Blinkie blushes. “Nope. Angry sex.”
>After a long pause you simply nod.
>Chrysalis’ look of pure horror is a good enough sign that you should avoid that topic.
“Well, guess we may as well get some food. We’re still short a few ponies.”
>Blinkie smiles positively, “I’m sure they’re just on the couch or something. Let’s go wake them?”
>You all nod in agreement, about to trek off.
>That’s when Shining and his wife stumble out of their room.
>You gesture for them to follow you and they silently comply.
>Luckily most of your friends are indeed just inside.
>Derpy and Luna are passed out on the couch, Luna holding her tightly to her chest. Better give them a moment.
>Don’t want Luna crushing poor Derpy when she wakes up, after all.
>Blinkie smiles when she spots them, relieved they are okay.
>Pinkie for whatever reason seems a bit upset, but you don’t bother asking about it.
>Chrysalis grunts, “Two are still missing.” You nod in acknowledgement.
“Yeah, well I think I know where I can find one of them.”
>You head out into your ‘backyard,’ approaching the pool.
>You look down into it, crossing your arms. As you expected, Pure Life is happily asleep at the bottom of your deep end.
>You turn to your friends, who have just caught up to you.
“Pinkie, could you fetch me the pool net?”
>She raises an eyebrow at your request, but eventually spots the sea pony in the water.
>”Oooh, I see what you’re up too!” She hops away, fetching the net.
>At this point Shining and Cadance catch up to you. Those two are clearly exhausted.
“You guys are clearly exhausted. What were you up too last night?”
>Chrysalis rolls her eyes, “If I had to take a guess, fucking like dogs.”
>Both of them blush at the comment, shooting the Queen dirty looks. She, like you, has no fucks to give.
>Of course not Anon! She gave them to you!
>I am not doing this right now brain. Shut up.
>Pinkie returns with the net. It’s a good thing everything is so neatly stored in that one shed.
>You take the net from her, carefully swinging it around, holding it from the net half.
>You stick the net’s normal handle into the water, prodding Pure Life with it. She quickly stirs.
>She looks at the net from her underwater perch as opposed to yourself.
>Sighing, you lead her to the surface with it.
>At this point she sees you, swimming over to you. “Morning Anon!”
“Good morning Pure Life. How’s the water?”
>She hops out of the pool, landing on your patio. She shakes herself, water getting all over Blinkie, who was closest to her. She glares at her.
>Pure Life smiles sheepishly at the mare, “Uh sorry. Anyhow the water is fine and stuff. What happened last night?”
>Pinkie holds up her ringed hoof. “Sex, drugs, marriages and probably rock ‘n’ roll.”
>Pure Life blinks at the statement. She resists the urge to check her nethers in front of all of you.
>”A /lot/ of sex.”
>She gulps nervously, nodding.
>You return to the main room of your suite. Pinkie and Blinkie volunteer to get some food for everyone.
>How nice. You take a seat beside Luna and Derpy.
>Sorry Derpy, but it’s got to be done.
>You raise a hand up, bringing it down onto the Princess’ flank, slapping her.
>Chrysalis stifles a laugh at Luna’s horrified expression. That’s the Queen you know!
>”Ack! Who goes there!” She turns to you, inadvertently squeezing Derpy into her chest.
>”Hey! Not so tight!”
>Luna yells out in shock, letting go of the mailmare, who then rolls off the couch to the floor.
>She gets up, looking around. You smile at her.
“Morning Derpy. How’s the royal pillow?”
>She looks over to Princess Luna who is blushing furiously.
>”Needs a better conditioner.”
>She turns her head up like nobles often did, trotting over to you. She takes a seat between you and Luna.
>You all just sit in silence for some time. Luna readjusts herself in her seat, embarrassed to no end by your slapping of her ass.
>Technically you never do that to horses, but whatever.
>Pinkie and Blinkie return with some submarine sandwiches.
>You really don’t give a shit where they got them and bite in as soon as you’ve got it in your hands.
>Unfortunately the pony version of ‘BLT’ uses barley instead of bacon.
>You still managed to get it down, though. It’s just a bit disappointing.
>You all eat your sandwiches, finishing them in good time.
>You’re still a bit hungry though. You want to just take half of Ditto’s sandwich, but think better of it.
>Deciding that the silence had gone on long enough you snatch up the remote, turning on the TV.
>You flip through a few cartoons before you realize something.
>Rainbow Dash is still missing.
>However, the opening of a far off doorway prevents you from commenting on it.
>Everyone turns towards the door. Inkie promptly leaves the room, frustration clearly painted onto her face.
>She takes a sit on the smaller couch, lying onto her back like Lyra usual does.
“How was uh... it?”
>She grunts, spreading open her legs to show Ditto’s work.
>”He’s alright I suppose. I’ve had better toys back home, though.”
>Pinkie cautiously passes her a sandwich, which she begins eating.
>She doesn’t close her legs though.
>You swear you can feel her marehood staring into your soul. You don’t like it.
>You make it about ten minutes before thoughts of Rainbow again flood your mind.
“So, uh. Where’s Rainbow Dash?”
>Inkie shrugs, “No clue. Why do you ask?”
“Uh, cause she’s not here? That’s a bad thing.”
>She grunts, “Is it?” She wipes off her mouth with a napkin. After a pause, she brings it down to her privates, cleaning them off as well.
>Pure Life is not amused. “Don’t you think you should be doing that where we can’t see you?”
>Blinkie sighs, “She likes to show off. Just ignore her.”
>Inkie shifts in her seat, cutting off the view to her genitals, to the happiness of the ponies around her.
“Still, don’t you think we should go look for her?”
>Inkie shrugs, “Not really. Though I suppose I do have a reason to head out...”
“Really? And what would that be?”
>”Well I’ve got to visit the photographer I hired to get the pictures. I’m sure they’ll be fun to look at.”
>She gets up, trotting to the door.
>You all share uneasy looks, even Luna who isn’t even fully aware of what happened the night before.
>You get up, heading after her.
>Despite her head start she doesn’t get far before you intercept her, blocking her path.
>However, before you can even say a word, Ditto walks into the room.
>You all turn to him. His relaxed expression calms the tensions just a bit.
>But only just a bit.
>Ditto looks about the crowd staring at him. He frowns. “Where is Rainbow Dash?”
“That’s what we were about to go figure out.”
>He nods, understanding. “Perhaps that letter will help us?”
>Letter? What letter is he talking about?
>You look where Ditto is looking. You indeed see a letter beside your room service phone. You walk towards it, taking it in your hands.
>The rest of your companions file in behind you as you open up the letter.
“To Anonymous:
We have taken your precious Rainbow.
Bring 50,000 bits to the Las Pegasus weather factory by the end of today,
Or you will never see your friend ever again.
Signed, Evil Pony Kidnapper(s)”
>You put the letter down, sighing. Well then.
>Chrysalis breaks the silence, “Kidnapped? Really? How cliché.”
>Pinkie nods, “Yeah! I’ve seen that like 500 times in movies! Lame!”
>Blinkie looks at her sister, appalled by her attitude. “Sis! Rainbow Dash was kidnapped! Who cares if it’s cliché! We’ve got to save her!”
“Yes. Yes we do.”
>You silently head to your room, fetching a pair of pants, your best jacket and, of course, your monocle.
>You turn to your friends who were arguing about what to do next.
>They turn to you.
>Derpy looks up at you worriedly, “What are we going to do Anonymous?”
“I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.”
>You turn to Pure Life who shrinks away from your gaze.
“Take me to the biggest and best casino in this city. I need to make a withdrawal.”
>She nods, positioning herself by the door while you continue.
“Chrys, you go with Luna to the weather factory. Figure out where these guys are.”
>Chrysalis shrugs, “Why not just have us smash their faces in and be done with it?”
“Because Chrysalis. That’s evil. We are the good guys.”
>Chrysalis chuckles, “Riiight. Well, guess we’re off. Come, /Luna./”
>Luna reluctantly follows her out of your suite.
>You turn to the remaining ponies.
>Derpy asks, “So what do the rest of us do then?”
“Well, probably go and tell the cops what happened?”
>”Oh. Yeah that does seem like a good idea. Let’s go!”
>They head off but you step in the path of the earthly trio.
>Ditto who is buzzing above them stops with them. They look at you questioningly.
“You four need to go fix that whole marriage thing. Chrys says the wedding can’t be annulled, but I’m calling bullshit on that. Go find a Priest and get those rings off.”
>You pause, letting them absorb the knowledge.
“Of course, unless you want to stay together.”
>Inkie shakes her head, “No, definitely not. Let’s go girls. And Ditto.”
>They head out, leaving you with Pure Life.
>You turn to head out but an “ahem” cuts you off.
>”Anonymous? While I’m usually the one giving orders, I’ve noticed you more or less left us out. Is there no way I can help?”
>You place a hand on your chin, thinking of a job for the royal guard captain. It comes to you quickly.
“Yeah. Clean up this fucking mess.”
>A short trip down the stairs left you in the hotel’s lobby once more.
>Pinkie’s party had truly left this place in ruins.
>For their sake, you hope they don’t have any important guests coming by today. (They do.)
>You saw the shirt you were wearing the night before, but it’s out of reach.
>How did your shirt even get on the chandelier? On second thought, you probably don’t want to know.
>You step over a passed out stallion on your way out of the hotel.
>You turn to your aquatic aid, awaiting her directions.
>”Uh, guess we go to the casino now? Follow me then.”
>And follow her you do.
>She leads you deeper and deeper into Las Pegasus, eventually brining you directly underneath the cloud city component of the town.
>Everything is darker here, though neon signs everywhere help brighten things up.
>You wonder where they get the neon for the signs.
>Knowing these ponies, probably from magic.
>Pure Life stops before a gigantic, magnificent structure. The Golden Apple.
>You crack your knuckles.
>They won’t know what hit them.
>You enter the building, Pure Life right behind you.
>Immediately you can see a number of gambling implements. Blackjack, Slots... You name it, it’s there.
>You head over to one of many chip reclamation counters.
>You make a quick transaction, getting yourself some poker chips.
>You reckon you’ll be able to make about half of what you’ll need in a few games.
>Pure Life follows you through the complex as you scope out some games.
>Eventually you see a poker game going on.
>One of the stallions playing flips his shit, yelling out expletives en mass at the other players.
>Someone is clearly mad. Security guards quickly arrive and remove him from the premises.
>You snatch up his seat, causing the other ponies look up at you.
“Hey there. Got room for one more?”
>The one leading, a gray stallion that seems extremely interesting, shrugs.
>”I have no problems with this. Come, play with us.”
>He takes a drink from his beer, which looked probably more expensive than every other brand in existence combined, then nods at the dealer.
>He plays you some more cards. Your hand is pretty shitty. This might take awhile.
/A few hours later/
>You take a sip from your beer, the same brand that stallion was drinking before.
>You look at your massive pile of poker chips.
>Pretty much every chip that ‘Dos Equus’ guy had was now on your side of the table and then some.
>Poor guy even lost his jacket to you. It’s too small for you to wear, but hey.
>Maybe you’ll give it to Ditto. He could use the swag.
>You finish up the round, busting all your opponents out.
>They have nothing left to buy in with, so the game is over.
>And you win.
“Well guys, thanks for the cash. See you.”
>You snap your fingers and some servants show up from somewhere.
>They collect your chips in a bag, then pass it to you.
>You smile as you take it. Lods of emone!
>You look over to Pure Life who had been silently watching the game play out, slack jawed.
“What wrong, Pure Life?”
>”How did you... I... What...”
“One day you will understand. But that day is not today.”
>You leave the casino, chips in hand.
>Since Rainbow was kidnapped in a city of evil kidnappers, you figure it’d be better to just give him the chips. He can cash them in later.
“So Pure Life, any idea where Ditto is at? Like, know of any priests we could check?”
>She sighs, “Anon, you realize there are hundreds of priests in this city, right?”
>You pause. Shit, you did not think of that.
>You glance off at the streets of Las Pegasus, spotting dozens of ponies walking about their various jobs.
“Hm. Well damnit. What do we do now?”
>She places a hoof-flipper on her chin, thinking. “Well, there’s this psychic I know that is famous for being able to bring up lost memories. Maybe you’ve heard of her? She’s called Miss Fortune!”
>You think of the name. You think you might have heard of it before.
“Alright I guess. Lead the way?”
>She nods, leading the way.
>She takes you down a number of streets. How does she not get lost in this maze?
>Eventually you arrive at a purple building.
>She enters it, gesturing for you to come inside.
>What could possibly go wrong?
>You enter the building, finding a small lobby. There’s a bench and two doors that lead off into the building.
>Pure Life is already sitting on the bench, so you sit with her.
>A pony exits from one of the rooms. He’s got a happy smile on his face.
>He nods at you, leaving the building.
>You aren’t isolated for long though, as a purple mare with a red mane soon leaves the room, heading behind the counter.
>She sees you, smiling happily. “Ah, welcome!”
>She walks over, looking you over. She doesn’t seem all that weirded out by your unusual appearance.
“Hello there, uh... Miss Fortune I take it?”
>She nods, “Yes, that is me. How many I help you?”
“Well, last night there was a very heavy party. We don’t know what happened and would like to know.”
>You gesture to your companion. She waves nervously.
>”I see. Come, come...”
>She heads to her office. Shrugging you head in after her, ducking to avoid the shorter entryway.
>That was pretty strange, actually.
>This doorway is smaller than the one to enter the house itself.
>You take a seat in a comfy red chair. Pure Life takes the other.
>”Now then. I suppose we should begin?”
>The Psychics horn lights up with a soft pink light. The door closes.
>The crystal ball begins to slow a bit.
>”Now, I must warn you... Many ponies have come to me wishing to know what happened during their wild parties. Most have regretted it. Are you sure you wish to know what happened?”
>You frown, thinking it through. Perhaps she was right.
>Considering you couldn’t even find half of your outfit in the hotel itself, it might be better to not know after all.
>However, while you had decided you’re better off without, Pure Life has different plans.
>”I’m fine! Show me!”
>The oracle nods, “Very well. Look into my crystal ball, please.”
>She complies and Miss Fortune’s horn begins to glow brighter. There’s a bright flash of light...
>You look over to Pure Life, who’s eyes are convulsing.
>Thankfully, they settle within a few seconds.
>”Tell me, did you find what you wanted?”
>Pure Life’s eyes go wide. She looks at you slowly.
>Her eyes move down to your crotch.
>The oracle wisely passes her a paper bag, which she promptly throws up into.
>You almost want to be offended by Pure Life’s actions.
>But you let it slide. The less you inquire about whatever you did with her, the better.
>It was bad enough with Chrysalis.
>Miss Fortune turns to you. “I take it you will pass then?”
“Yeah I think I will. Uh... How much do I owe you?”
>She tells you her fee. It’s a good deal more than you expected.
“Uh... Mind if I pay in poker chips?”
>You hold up the bag, shaking it a bit. She rolls her eyes.
>”At this rate I may as well make my only accepted currency poker chips... Fine.”
>You give her the money after a bit of digging around. You should have sorted this thing better.
>You leave the building with Pure Life. She’s having difficulty even looking at you.
>Across the street you spot a fairly angry Inkie Pie. She still has her enchanted bracelets on.
>Guess the whole divorce thing didn’t really work out.
“Hey! Inkie!”
>She casually glances over to you. She turns away, yelling something.
>From inside a nearby building exit her siblings, with her unexpected husband right behind.
>They cross the street, arriving in front of you in short order.
“I take it your quest proved less than fruitful?”
>Ditto nods, “We have been unsuccessful in removing the enchanted rings. Our next stop is a blacksmith, who I believe can melt them off.”
“You realize that will hurt like hell, yes?”
>Inkie rolls her eyes, “You realize we don’t care, yes?”
>Blinkie frowns at her sister, “Speak for yourself! I like my legs the way they are!”
“Have you guys like, considered shaving all the hair off the leg in question? It might give some room.”
>Pinkie raises an eyebrow to your suggestion, thinking it over.
>Inkie gives her a cold glare, “No Pinkie, we aren’t letting you cut our hair. Remember what happened last time?”
>Pinkie sighs, “Come on Inkie, you know a mohawk looks good on you!”
>Jeez. What have you done?
>Ditto pokes your bag of chips curiously. “What’s in the bag?”
“The money. Ditto, cast the cloud walk spell on us and let’s get going.”
>After taking a minute to recall said spell, he casts it on all of you.
>You set off to move, but Ditto stops you. “Wait! We need to test it!”
>Ditto buzzes skywards, leaving you with the mares.
>Pure Life shudders, likely from what she saw of Ditto in the party.
>”So Anon, you won all the money in a few hours? How’d you manage that?”
“Let’s just say my fellow players had a lot of money to spend.”
>Pinkie smiles brightly at your response.
>Blinkie however, takes note of Pure Life’s agony. “Pure Life? What’s wrong?”
>”I remember everything. Every horrible thing. I should have stayed home...”
>Inkie snorts, “Don’t be a baby. You didn’t suck /that/ many dicks.”
>She glares at her, “How would you even know? You got wasted too!”
>Inkie glances off at Blinkie Pie, “Not right away. Blinkie here messed me up a little way into it.”
>”I did not! You drank the punch yourself!”
>”I’m not an idiot Blinkie! I saw you put it in my soda!”
>”No I didn’t! Shut up!”
“Pure Life, did Blinkie drug Inkie?”
>She looks off, recalling the memories. “No.”
>Blinkie gives her sister a smug grin of victory.
>Pinkie just sighs. No doubt she’s done this many, many times.
>Ditto buzzes back to your group a minute or so later. He has a big clump of cloud with him.
>”Ooh! I love bouncing on clouds!”
>Pinkie bounces off towards him, trying to get onto the fluffy material.
>”Pinkie, please let me set this up...”
>She stops her bouncing, nodding. Ditto places the cloud just off the ground.
>”Now, please, one at a time, step onto the cloud. If the spell is working as it should, you’ll be able to stand on it.”
>Inkie rolls her eyes, pushing herself past Pinkie. “Since when did you grow a spine?” She hops onto the cloud.
>She doesn’t fall through it to her surprise. It seems like she thought she would. Ha!
>”Hmph. Not bad. Alright, Pinkie, you’re next.”
>She hops off, her sister replacing her in short order. Blinkie goes on next, followed by Pure Life and then finally you step onto it.
>None of you fall through it, so you decide to move onto the next part of the plan.
”Alright, now we need to get up there.”
>You point upwards to the cloud city above yourself.
“Any ideas?”
>You silently thank whatever gods are out there for dumping Pure Life onto you.
>While a fairly strange pony, she has proven very useful in navigating the city.
>You probably would still be trying to build up some cash in a poor man’s casino if it weren’t for her.
>She takes you all to a sort of lift. It reminds you of a ski lift, but without ponies skiing down to the surface later.
>To Ditto’s dismay there’s a group of unicorn guards who repeat the test he did before you are let onboard.
>Oh well, better safe than sorry.
>After a ten minute climb you arrive in the cloud part of Las Pegasus. It’s not much to look at.
>There’s a section full of homes and other constructions, but otherwise there’s not much too it.
>Definitely not as developed as Cloudsdale, that’s for sure.
>Using the map you were given as a guide, you locate the weather factory. Luna and Chrysalis are sitting around outside it.
“Hello ladies.”
>They look over to you, each having a different expression.
>Chrysalis’ is more of a relieved happy look. Luna’s is one of disbelief.
>”Anonymous, how are you standing on the clouds? Thou are not a Pegasus.”
“It’s magic Luna. I ain’t gotta explain shit.”
>You walk past her, the rest of the group trotting behind.
>Time to make some transactions.
>Once inside the factory, Chrysalis takes the lead.
>She takes your group through a number of corridors, leading you to a room deep inside the factory.
>Thankfully they are opening up late, or you’d have a lot of Pegasi asking what the fuck is going on.
>You look around in the dark room. Without the lights on, you can’t see a thing.
“Alright you scoundrel, show yourself!”
>After a pause a voice rings out. “I think not.”
>Pure Life sighs. “Bluffin Muffin? What the hell are you doing?”
>Thinking back, that was definitely Bluffin Muffin’s voice. Son of a bitch.
>”I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, put the money in that slot...”
>A spotlight shines down on a slot. Cautiously you place the sack of chips into the slot.
“Alright ‘not Bluffin Muffin’, where’s Rainbow Dash?”
>The room lights up, revealing a cage. It isn’t even locked. Clever bastard.
>Inside the cage is Rainbow Dash, passed out on the floor.
>She’s wearing your boxers as a hat.
>Well. Uh. Fuck.
>Putting your pride to the side for your bro’s sake, you enter the cage scooping her up over your shoulder.
>She quickly awakens, looking at you in the face.
>”Anon? What’s going on?”
“Not much. Saving you from pissed off muffin chefs. How about you? I see you’ve got a new hat.”
>One of her hooves reaches up to her head, snatching your boxers away.
>She looks at them, flushing bright red.
“Don’t worry you can keep ‘em. I’ve got hundreds more.”
>She tosses them away, pushing off of you and taking flight right beside you.
>Pure Life lets out a sad laugh. “Don’t worry Rainbow. That’s only the tip of the iceberg.”
>”Uh... Right. So what exactly happened again?”
>Pinkie Pie bounces over to her, pulling her friend into a tight hug.
>”Well you got kidnapped by somep0ny called Bluffin Muffin and he had Anon here give him 50,000 bits to get you back safely! He put them in that slot there!”
>She points to the slot in question.
>Rainbow’s expression goes from pained from Pinkie’s hug to pained in fear.
>”Uh... Anon...”
“Rainbro?”
>”That’s a very delicate and fragile part of a weather factory’s primarily cloud generation system. Is this factory currently on?”
“No. Why?”
>She sighs in partial relief, “Good. If it were, all those bits would break the machine. It’d be weeks before they could get a replacement from Cloudsdale.”
“Huh. Good thing the factory is off then. Now then, time to go.”
/Meanwhile in the Factory Control Room/
>A young weather operator bursts into the control room franticly.
>His supervisor gives him an annoyed glare, having been interrupted from his discussion with the cute girl from public relations. “What is it kid?”
>”New order from Detrot! They need cumulus ASAP!”
>”What? Why can’t they get it from Cloudsdale? Damnit...”
>”Sorry sir, but Cloudsdale is under pressure already from Manehattan and Fillydelphia! It’s up to us!”
>”Yeah yeah, I get it. Turn on the machine, we’ll get started right now.”
>”Yes sir!”
/Outside the Factory/
>You had just exited the factory when a large explosion rang out.
>You all turn back to it, spotting black smoke billowing out of the ‘exit’ segment of the weather factory.
>You all look on in horror as more explosions ring out.
“Huh. Guess Bluffin didn’t get his money in time...”
>”My god Anon... You just blew up Las Pegasus’ weather factory...”
>Safe to say, you knew better than to hang out in a city that would soon want your head on a platter.
>You return to your hotel as quickly as possible, entering your room and packing up your shit.
>Derpy arrives, scared. She bursts into your room, burrowing into your chest.
>Sadly your body wasn’t ready. You stumble over your suitcase, falling onto your back.
“Derpy? What’s wrong?”
>”Anonymous! The weather factory exploded!”
“Yes. I know.”
>She blinks at you, confused. “You know?”
>You smile sheepishly at her. Whelp, here goes nothing.
“Uh... Yeah. That was me. An accident, I assure you.”
>She gasps, letting go of you. She sighs, facehoofing.
>You get back up, getting a nice view of her ‘I am so disappoint right now’ face.
>”What am I going to do with you Anon...”
“Make some muffins? Muffins make everything good. But later. Pack your things, we’re skipping town.”
>”Ugh... There goes my vacation...”
>You meet up with your friends later. You toss Shining Armour (who was reclining on your couch with his wife) your keys.
“Enjoy my friend. And merry fucking Christmas.”
>Hours later, you recline in your bed. This train was pimped out to the max.
>Luna has clearly shown her worth.
>You glance over to the next bed. Ditto insisted on sharing a room with you.
>That however, did not stop Pinkie from bunking with him too.
>She sighs happily, watching the TV they had mounted in your compartment. Nothing in particular is on; you are just channel surfing.
>Eventually you stop on the news.
>”And in recent news, an explosion caused heavy damage to the weather factory of Las Pegasus. Police forces apprehended a unicorn who was identified as ‘Bluffin Muffin’ who is being held responsible for the attack.”
>You change the channel, unable to resist the urge to smile.
>Bitch got what was coming to him. You regret jack didilly shit.
>Pinkie hugs her husband tighter, shifting right on top of him. He smiles sheepishly.
>”You know, I’m gonna have to teach you how to be a good coltfriend. There’s more to it than just sex and stuff, after all!”
>”Yes... I figured that was the case.”
>”But I suppose for now we can just have some fun...” She kisses him.
“You know I’m right here, right?”
>”I know silly! You should watch so you’ll know exactly what to do with Chrysalis later!”
>Your collection of faces proves incapable of showing your true feelings. You just groan as she mounts him.
>This would be a long trip.
>A day and a half later you had returned to Ponyville.
>It was fairly late, so you immediately head out to retire back home.
>The Pie sisters head off to Sugarcube Corner as opposed to your home. You wonder how many will still be here by the end of the week.
>Probably just the usual one.
>Everything seemed alright as you went back to your home.
>However on a closer inspection, the entire town seemed rather sad. What happened here?
>You unlock your door, walking inside.
>At this point Luna departs for Canterlot. Chrysalis seems happy she’s finally gone.
>You enter your living room, spotting a peculiar sight.
>Dinky is sitting your chair, watching some sort of show. Whatever it is, she probably is way too young to be watching it.
>Boreale is gone. In his place are two very strange looking ponies. One of them has blood red eyes, a blackish purple coat and reddish purple mane. He’s got make up on to look pretty, applied by most like Sweetie Belle who is sitting beside him.
>The other CMC are also around. In the far corner you see Snails and the other strange pony playing Chess. That pony is purpleish green and looks almost like a zombie. His unicorn horn is sharp and curved much like Ditto’s.
>The red pony locks eyes with you. His eye twitches.
>It speaks with a harsh gravelly tone. “...Sindri.”
>You figure that’s probably his other friend. You notice the strange robe ‘Sindri’ is wearing. He seems to be some sort of sorcerer.
>”Sindri.”
>Sindri doesn’t react to his calls, instead moving one of his pieces to take Snail’s knight.
>”SINDRI!”
>Sweetie Belle backs away from him, more annoyed by his volume than afraid of him.
>Sindri responds at last, turning to face his possible friend. “/What/, my lord?”
>”There is an ape in my stronghold. What is the MEANING of this!?”
“...This is my house.”
>Derpy pushes past you, heading over to her daughter.
>She pulls her into a motherly hug. “Muffin! How was everything?”
>”It was great mom! Boreale took us offroading and then we met Bale and Sindri! They’re really cool.”
>Chrysalis looks on at the duo worriedly. Did she know them?
“Well, anyhow party’s over.”
>You snatch up the remote, turning off the show. Scootaloo groans. “Man... It was just getting good.”
>Applebloom raises an eyebrow at her, “Not really. That mare just kept screaming the whole time...”
“I said party’s over. Get out.”
>Reluctantly they all file out, even the so called ‘Bale’ and ‘Sindri’.
>Something told you that you’d be seeing them again. Oh well.
>You take back your seat, yawning. Everything was back to normal.

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The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis
Chapter 13: We Are Vegas
Act 3: The Augmentation of Asking for Unwanted Things

>It was a bright and sunny morning in the wonderful city of Las Pegasus.
>The ponies did their pony chores, young ponies went to school and old ponies lost thousands at Casinos.
>Everything was as it should be in the morning of a gambling headquarters.
>Except the sun. The sun was too fucking bright.
>You groan as it washes over you. How much alcohol did you even drink?
>That crazy punch didn’t even have any alcohol in it. Just that... other stuff.
>What the fuck did they put in there?
>You get shuffle out of bed, heading over to the somewhat open window.
>If Celestia won’t turn down the fucking lights, you sure as hell will.
>Now that your room is dark enough to prevent permanent blindness, you take inventory of your surroundings.
>On the plus side, you had managed to get to bed.
>However, you had somehow lost all of your clothing in the process. 
>It’s a wonder you didn’t feel that breeze earlier. You search about the floor, seeing if you can find your usual clothes. You cannot.
>You wonder why you are naked in the first place.
>It’s not like you slept with nothing on or anything like that.

>You open up your suitcase, grabbing a new outfit for the day. 
>You manage to get another of your billion pairs of boxers as well as shirt on before you hear a noise coming from your bed.
>Cautiously, you turn toward it, making out a fairly large lump under the covers.
>Whoever that is, they are about to get a rude awakening.
>You slowly walk over to their side of the bed, then in one swift motion throw the covers off of them.
>It’s definitely not who you expected to find.
>Queen Chrysalis, sovereign of the changelings, is lying on your bed.
>The warmth of your covers quickly leaves her, causing her eyelids to pry themselves apart.
>”Hm...? Anon?”
“Chrysalis, why are you in my bed?”
>She yawns, still tired from the previous night’s shenanigans. 
>”What are you talking about? This is...” She’s cut off by another yawn, “...my bed.”
“No, it’s mine alright. My suitcase is right over there.”
>You point over to it to emphasize your point. She doesn’t even bother looking.
>But then it hits you.
>Why the hell would you /and/ Chrysalis be in one bed? And why were you naked in that bed?
>Simple.
>You fucked her, that’s why.

>And to make matters worse, you don’t even remember why.
>Slowly, you back away from her, the horrifying truth coming to bare.
>She wasn’t even in her human form. You quite literally fucked a bug horse. 
>Excellent work, Anonymous! Dad will be so proud of you!
>Shut the fuck up brain! Now is not the time for this!
>”Anonymous? What’s going on?”
>You take a deep breath to calm yourself. It doesn’t really help.
“Chrysalis, something was in that punch we drank last night.”
>She sits up, cracking a few joints, “Mhm, and?”
“...It fucked us up. And then we fucked.”
>She nods, “Ah yes. I see.”
>Then it hits her, seemingly even worse than it had hit you.”
>”WE DID WHAT?”
“Chrysalis, calm down! I’m sure we can figure this out! But yelling is not going to help anyone.”
>Chrysalis shrinks into the bed, face almost beet red. “...We had sex.”
>You decide to try and lighten the mood, for her sake.
“Well uh, congratulations. You are the first pony to actually get me. Heh...”

>Your comedic abilities fall flat on the Queen of the Changelings.
>”Anon... I’m sorry. Really!”
“Chrysalis, it’s uh... Fine.”
>She rolls her eyes at you, not buying your words for a second.
>You don’t even really buy them yourself. This was terrible.
>”...Now what happens?”
“Uh... Honestly, I’m not sure. I never thought I’d yaknow...”
>”Right. Well...” She gets out of bed, standing at full height.
>Her face remains fairly red as she magically opens up your door. She doesn’t make eye contact the entire time.
>”Do you have any idea who put that... whatever in our drinks?”
“I think I may...”
>She nods, following you out of the room.
>The hallway is much more of a mess than your room is. That much is for sure. You even find one of your socks on the ground.
>However, you have better things to do than gather up every little article of clothing you own.
>You have a mission to complete. You walk right over to Pinkie’s room...
>...and very loudly bang on the door.
>If she wasn’t up before, she sure as hell is now.

>You look over at Chrysalis, who doesn’t meet your gaze.
>She probably won’t be much support, you realize.
>You grab the knob, turning it. 
>Pinkie didn’t even lock her door. Did she not see this coming?
>Whatever. Time for angry words directed at friendly party ponies. What could possibly go wrong?
>Inside is even darker than your room. Her window looks directly at another building, so the sun can’t leak into it as well. Lucky bastard.
>You turn on the lights, instantly regretting it as the bright light floods into your vision, blinding you temporarily.
>The pained cries of a number of ponies however makes it clear that Pinkie is not alone in here.
>Perhaps she hired a few bodyguards to protect herself from your infinite wrath?
>Chrysalis stands at the doorway, not coming in for fear of burning eyes. Or maybe just to avoid you.
>”Oh god, my fucking head...”
>That voice was definitely not Pinkamena Diane Pie. No...
>That was the voice of Inkie Pie.
>Finally your vision is restored, giving you a good view at Pinkie’s bed.
>Inside it is, besides Pinkie herself, three other ponies. Inkie... Blinkie...
>And, of course, Ditto.
>Damn, he managed three mares in one night. He is officially a player.

“Good morning girls. And Ditto.”
>Blinkie moans in agony, unable to open her eyes. Pinkie is up fairly quickly, blushing when she sees she was hanging onto Ditto.
>As for Ditto himself, despite your actions he’s still out cold. Maybe he mixed his drugs with alcohol?
>You recall Inkie’s words to you before everything became a blur.
>You give her your coldest glare. She actually flinches from it.
“Inkie, what the fuck did you do?”
>Chrysalis stands beside you silently demanding the same.
>She blinks a bit, eventually rubbing her eyes. “Ugh... That depends. I’ve done a lot of things...”
>You let out a harsh laugh, one devoid of any humour.
“Fucking hilarious, Inkie. What the fuck was in that punch?”
>Blinkie is about half awake now, looking at her sister with Pinkie.
>”Oh that? Hm...”
>She puts a hoof on her chin, lazily thinking up an answer. Your patience is quickly running out.
>”Oh right. Yeah a bunch of cool chemicals and stuff. Really makes the users trip out, what can I say?”
“...What kind of chemicals?”
>She yawns, “Oh just a few hallucinogens, aphrodisiacs, other hormone generator things. You know.”
>You just stare at her, horrified.
“Why did you put that shit in the punch again?”
>”Why didn’t you?”

>Pinkie groans in frustration. “Sis! Didn’t I tell you to stop doing that at my parties?”
>“Yeah, but they aren’t any fun if I don’t. No offense, but they are kind of like, childish.”
>Pinkie looks away from her, sulking angrily. 
>Blinkie hops over Ditto to comfort her, but fails to clear him, jabbing him in the gut with a hoof.
>Safe to say, he’s now quite awake.
>”Ack! We’re under attack! Evasive manoeuvres!” 
“No Ditto, it’s just Blinkie.”
>He blinks, looking ahead to indeed see Blinkie Pie. She smiles nervously at him. “Uh... Sorry about that.”
>”Uh... It was alright. No harm done.”
>That’s when you notice the bright gold ring around her leg. In fact, all of the Pie sisters have one of them.
>As does Ditto. What the...?
“Uh guys? What’s up with the rings?”
>The all collectively blink, looking down at the rings they are wearing. Chrysalis gasps.
>You turn to her, concerned.
“Chrys? What’s up?”
>”Anonymous... Those rings...”

>She isn’t able to finish her statement as just then Inkie lets out a horrified shriek.
>She almost immediately begins trying to pry the ring off her ankle, but it holds steady.
“Chrysalis? What are those rings?”
>She shakes her head, “Wedding bracelets.”
>Blinkie gasps, backing away from the changeling who smiles nervously.
>”It is not my fault! I did not intend this!”
>Pinkie just sits down beside Ditto, looking at the ring bound to her.
>”You know, Ditto, when I said I’d be your marefriend, this isn’t what I meant...”
>Ditto shrinks down, looking at his own ring in shame.
>Inkie for the first time seens legitimately concerned. “I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t ask for this!”
>She continues her mantra, spouting the sacred words between deep breaths. 
>Serves her fucking right. That’s what happens when you drug an entire party for fun.
>Blinkie pulls her sister into a hug, but is rather violently swatted away.
>Inkie glares at her, “This is your fault Blinkie! You were supposed to make sure I didn’t drink the punch!”
>”Well maybe /you/ shouldn’t have drugged the punch!”
“Yeah, Inkie, you really shouldn’t have done that.”

>She growls at you, but doesn’t go any further.
>”Whatever. Where’s a priest? I’m getting this crap annulled ASAP.”
>Chrysalis laughs bitterly, “Tough luck, Inkie! You can’t!”
>Inkie jumps off the bed, landing in front of the queen. “Oh really? And why’s that, oh mighty one!”
>”Because, you idiot! Changeling marriages are permanent! It’s the law!”
>”I don’t follow your silly changeling laws! Now move!”
>Chrysalis moves alright. Right into the doorway. She sits down, completely blocking it.
>Inkie’s eye twitches in rage. Wisely, you take a few steps back from the angry mare.
>”Move damnit!”
>”No thank you, I’m comfortable right here.”
>Inkie lets out a frustrated groan. She turns back to the bed, reaching under it. She pulls out a bag.
>From it she pulls out a crossbow, likely to make Chrysalis move. She doesn’t get the chance.
>Ditto is on her within seconds, pinning her to the ground, her weapon sliding away on the floor.
>”Get off of me damnit! I’m getting a divorce and you can’t stop me!”
>However, Ditto doesn’t relent an inch. For having such a small frame, he’s pretty damn tough.
>”I will not allow you to hurt the Queen!”

>”Your queen is a bitch and you know it! Get off!”
>Ditto snarls at her, but remains in his position.
“Ditto... You can’t just hold her there forever. We need to use diplomacy.”
>Pinkie nods, agreeing, “Yeah!” She turns to the changeling queen.
>”Alright Ms. Chrysalis! You say that there’s no way to annul a changeling marriage. Is that really the case?”
>She nods, “Correct. You’re stuck with him for good.”
>She ‘hm’s, then continues. “But how do we know it was a /changeling/ wedding and not a normal wedding? I doubt there are changeling priests living in this city, no matter how diverse it is.”
>She thinks it over, “Perhaps. Can I see one of those rings?”
>Pinkie nods, hopping off the bed and walking over to the queen.
>She holds her hoof up in Chrysalis’ face, giving her a good view of the ring.
>Chrysalis begins to look it over, her horn glowing its usual green.
>You look over to Blinkie, the only mare not preoccupied.
>”Uh hey Anon. Sorry about all this...”
“It’s fine Blinkie. I just have one question...”
>”Oh sure, what?”
“Why the fuck are you even in Las Pegasus?”

>Some time later you managed to get all the ponies calmed down.
>Pinkie was pretty upset to learn that the rings had a special magic enchantment that signified they were legit changeling wedding rings.
>That would definitely be something difficult to explain to her family, no doubts there.
>Then again, you fucked a horse. You’d have a hard time explaining that too.
>Pinkie sighs, looking over at the changeling commander, who was still restraining Inkie Pie.
>Inkie took the news that she was really stuck with Ditto even worse than she did, redoubling her efforts to break free and get to her crossbow.
>You aren’t sure if it was to shoot up Chrys and Ditto, or herself.
>Regardless of her planned path, she could not be allowed to get her weapon of choice.
>Blinkie ended up taking it apart and storing it back in Inkie’s bag. If she did get free, you’d at least have a chance to stop her before she hurt someone.
“So, uh Ditto. I guess you are stuck there with your new wife, huh?”
>You figure you’d try to lighten the mood with a few jokes.
>”It would appear so.”
“Well, uh. I’ve seen lots of movies. I know what might calm her down.”
>”Hm? What would that be?”
>Pinkie rolls her eyes, “Anon, angry sex isn’t going to help at all. Trust me.”

>Eventually you decide to do your usual morning routine to the best of your abilities.
>You figure you can wake up Derpy, Luna and the others later, when your jimmies regenerate some health points.
>You open up your bathroom, walking in with Chrysalis.
>Normally you’d have a shower, but you doubt you will ever be clean again and skip it.
>You pick up your toothbrush and the toothpaste. You squeeze some out.
>Chrysalis is wearily standing beside you. Usually she removes everyone from the bathroom when she’s in here. 
>You figure it’s because she’s tired as opposed to because she doesn’t mind anymore.
>You squeeze some toothpaste onto her brush.
>That’s when you hear a low growl.
>Slowly, both of you turn toward the bathtub. You both share an uneasy glance.
>Cautiously you approach it, pulling back the curtain.
>Well. That was not expected.
“Uh... Good morning? Why are you in my bathtub?”
>The tiger shrugs, “Honestly, I don’t remember anything. What’s up?”
“Not much. Just brushing my uh... teeth. Yes.”
>”Right. Got a spare brush?”

>The tiger was much nicer than you thought she would be.
>Turns out vicious predators aren’t all that vicious if they can talk back. Good times.
>The tiger yawns, laying down on the floor of your bathroom as you finish up.
“You just gonna uh... chill in here?”
>She shrugs, “Yeah I guess. Get me a drink if you get a chance though. Tap water ain’t exactly quenching.”
“Right.”
>You leave the room with Chrysalis who was fairly freaked the fuck out by the feline intruder. You close the bathroom door.
>”What was that thing?”
“A tiger. Feline predator from China or something. Luckily this one can talk.”
>She nods, not having the slightest clue what the fuck you are talking about. Oh well, her loss.
>You look over at Derpy/Luna’s room. Well, better wake them up.
>You open up the door, flicking on the lights. Two distinctive groans ring out in the room.
>...Neither of them belong to the room’s normal occupants however.
“Shining Armor? Cadance? Why the hell are you in my hotel room?”
>Shining Armor sits up, bags under his eyes. “What are you talking about? This is our room...”
“No bro. It’s not.”

>You let Shining and Cadance chill out for a bit and open up the last room in your suite.
>Unfortunately, the room of Rainbow Dash is empty. 
>No Luna, no Derpy, and no Rainbow. Fantastic...
>Sighing, you turn to go fetch Pinkie, Blinkie, Inkie and Ditto. Half of that group is already outside in the hallway.
“Uh... Is Ditto still holding down Inkie in the other room?”
>Pinkie shakes her head, while Blinkie blushes. “Nope. Angry sex.”
>After a long pause you simply nod. 
>Chrysalis’ look of pure horror is a good enough sign that you should avoid that topic.
“Well, guess we may as well get some food. We’re still short a few ponies.”
>Blinkie smiles positively, “I’m sure they’re just on the couch or something. Let’s go wake them?”
>You all nod in agreement, about to trek off.
>That’s when Shining and his wife stumble out of their room.
>You gesture for them to follow you and they silently comply.
>Luckily most of your friends are indeed just inside.
>Derpy and Luna are passed out on the couch, Luna holding her tightly to her chest. Better give them a moment.
>Don’t want Luna crushing poor Derpy when she wakes up, after all.

>Blinkie smiles when she spots them, relieved they are okay. 
>Pinkie for whatever reason seems a bit upset, but you don’t bother asking about it.
>Chrysalis grunts, “Two are still missing.” You nod in acknowledgement.
“Yeah, well I think I know where I can find one of them.”
>You head out into your ‘backyard,’ approaching the pool.
>You look down into it, crossing your arms. As you expected, Pure Life is happily asleep at the bottom of your deep end.
>You turn to your friends, who have just caught up to you.
“Pinkie, could you fetch me the pool net?”
>She raises an eyebrow at your request, but eventually spots the sea pony in the water.
>”Oooh, I see what you’re up too!” She hops away, fetching the net.
>At this point Shining and Cadance catch up to you. Those two are clearly exhausted.
“You guys are clearly exhausted. What were you up too last night?”
>Chrysalis rolls her eyes, “If I had to take a guess, fucking like dogs.”
>Both of them blush at the comment, shooting the Queen dirty looks. She, like you, has no fucks to give.
>Of course not Anon! She gave them to you!
>I am not doing this right now brain. Shut up.

>Pinkie returns with the net. It’s a good thing everything is so neatly stored in that one shed.
>You take the net from her, carefully swinging it around, holding it from the net half.
>You stick the net’s normal handle into the water, prodding Pure Life with it. She quickly stirs.
>She looks at the net from her underwater perch as opposed to yourself. 
>Sighing, you lead her to the surface with it.
>At this point she sees you, swimming over to you. “Morning Anon!”
“Good morning Pure Life. How’s the water?”
>She hops out of the pool, landing on your patio. She shakes herself, water getting all over Blinkie, who was closest to her. She glares at her.
>Pure Life smiles sheepishly at the mare, “Uh sorry. Anyhow the water is fine and stuff. What happened last night?”
>Pinkie holds up her ringed hoof. “Sex, drugs, marriages and probably rock ‘n’ roll.”
>Pure Life blinks at the statement. She resists the urge to check her nethers in front of all of you.
>”A /lot/ of sex.”
>She gulps nervously, nodding.

>You return to the main room of your suite. Pinkie and Blinkie volunteer to get some food for everyone.
>How nice. You take a seat beside Luna and Derpy. 
>Sorry Derpy, but it’s got to be done.
>You raise a hand up, bringing it down onto the Princess’ flank, slapping her.
>Chrysalis stifles a laugh at Luna’s horrified expression. That’s the Queen you know!
>”Ack! Who goes there!” She turns to you, inadvertently squeezing Derpy into her chest.
>”Hey! Not so tight!”
>Luna yells out in shock, letting go of the mailmare, who then rolls off the couch to the floor.
>She gets up, looking around. You smile at her.
“Morning Derpy. How’s the royal pillow?”
>She looks over to Princess Luna who is blushing furiously.
>”Needs a better conditioner.”
>She turns her head up like nobles often did, trotting over to you. She takes a seat between you and Luna.
>You all just sit in silence for some time. Luna readjusts herself in her seat, embarrassed to no end by your slapping of her ass.
>Technically you never do that to horses, but whatever.
>Pinkie and Blinkie return with some submarine sandwiches. 
>You really don’t give a shit where they got them and bite in as soon as you’ve got it in your hands.

>Unfortunately the pony version of ‘BLT’ uses barley instead of bacon. 
>You still managed to get it down, though. It’s just a bit disappointing.
>You all eat your sandwiches, finishing them in good time. 
>You’re still a bit hungry though. You want to just take half of Ditto’s sandwich, but think better of it.
>Deciding that the silence had gone on long enough you snatch up the remote, turning on the TV.
>You flip through a few cartoons before you realize something.
>Rainbow Dash is still missing.
>However, the opening of a far off doorway prevents you from commenting on it.
>Everyone turns towards the door. Inkie promptly leaves the room, frustration clearly painted onto her face.
>She takes a sit on the smaller couch, lying onto her back like Lyra usual does.
“How was uh... it?”
>She grunts, spreading open her legs to show Ditto’s work.
>”He’s alright I suppose. I’ve had better toys back home, though.”
>Pinkie cautiously passes her a sandwich, which she begins eating.
>She doesn’t close her legs though. 
>You swear you can feel her marehood staring into your soul. You don’t like it.

>You make it about ten minutes before thoughts of Rainbow again flood your mind.
“So, uh. Where’s Rainbow Dash?”
>Inkie shrugs, “No clue. Why do you ask?”
“Uh, cause she’s not here? That’s a bad thing.”
>She grunts, “Is it?” She wipes off her mouth with a napkin. After a pause, she brings it down to her privates, cleaning them off as well.
>Pure Life is not amused. “Don’t you think you should be doing that where we can’t see you?”
>Blinkie sighs, “She likes to show off. Just ignore her.”
>Inkie shifts in her seat, cutting off the view to her genitals, to the happiness of the ponies around her.
“Still, don’t you think we should go look for her?”
>Inkie shrugs, “Not really. Though I suppose I do have a reason to head out...”
“Really? And what would that be?”
>”Well I’ve got to visit the photographer I hired to get the pictures. I’m sure they’ll be fun to look at.”
>She gets up, trotting to the door.
>You all share uneasy looks, even Luna who isn’t even fully aware of what happened the night before.

>You get up, heading after her.
>Despite her head start she doesn’t get far before you intercept her, blocking her path.
>However, before you can even say a word, Ditto walks into the room.
>You all turn to him. His relaxed expression calms the tensions just a bit.
>But only just a bit.
>Ditto looks about the crowd staring at him. He frowns. “Where is Rainbow Dash?”
“That’s what we were about to go figure out.”
>He nods, understanding. “Perhaps that letter will help us?”
>Letter? What letter is he talking about?
>You look where Ditto is looking. You indeed see a letter beside your room service phone. You walk towards it, taking it in your hands.
>The rest of your companions file in behind you as you open up the letter.
“To Anonymous:
We have taken your precious Rainbow.
Bring 50,000 bits to the Las Pegasus weather factory by the end of today,
Or you will never see your friend ever again.
Signed, Evil Pony Kidnapper(s)”
>You put the letter down, sighing. Well then.

>Chrysalis breaks the silence, “Kidnapped? Really? How cliché.”
>Pinkie nods, “Yeah! I’ve seen that like 500 times in movies! Lame!”
>Blinkie looks at her sister, appalled by her attitude. “Sis! Rainbow Dash was kidnapped! Who cares if it’s cliché! We’ve got to save her!”
“Yes. Yes we do.”
>You silently head to your room, fetching a pair of pants, your best jacket and, of course, your monocle.
>You turn to your friends who were arguing about what to do next.
>They turn to you.
>Derpy looks up at you worriedly, “What are we going to do Anonymous?”
“I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.”
>You turn to Pure Life who shrinks away from your gaze.
“Take me to the biggest and best casino in this city. I need to make a withdrawal.”
>She nods, positioning herself by the door while you continue.
“Chrys, you go with Luna to the weather factory. Figure out where these guys are.”
>Chrysalis shrugs, “Why not just have us smash their faces in and be done with it?”
“Because Chrysalis. That’s evil. We are the good guys.”
>Chrysalis chuckles, “Riiight. Well, guess we’re off. Come, /Luna./”
>Luna reluctantly follows her out of your suite.

>You turn to the remaining ponies.
>Derpy asks, “So what do the rest of us do then?”
“Well, probably go and tell the cops what happened?”
>”Oh. Yeah that does seem like a good idea. Let’s go!”
>They head off but you step in the path of the earthly trio.
>Ditto who is buzzing above them stops with them. They look at you questioningly.
“You four need to go fix that whole marriage thing. Chrys says the wedding can’t be annulled, but I’m calling bullshit on that. Go find a Priest and get those rings off.”
>You pause, letting them absorb the knowledge.
“Of course, unless you want to stay together.”
>Inkie shakes her head, “No, definitely not. Let’s go girls. And Ditto.”
>They head out, leaving you with Pure Life.
>You turn to head out but an “ahem” cuts you off.
>”Anonymous? While I’m usually the one giving orders, I’ve noticed you more or less left us out. Is there no way I can help?”
>You place a hand on your chin, thinking of a job for the royal guard captain. It comes to you quickly.
“Yeah. Clean up this fucking mess.”

>A short trip down the stairs left you in the hotel’s lobby once more.
>Pinkie’s party had truly left this place in ruins.
>For their sake, you hope they don’t have any important guests coming by today. (They do.)
>You saw the shirt you were wearing the night before, but it’s out of reach.
>How did your shirt even get on the chandelier? On second thought, you probably don’t want to know.
>You step over a passed out stallion on your way out of the hotel.
>You turn to your aquatic aid, awaiting her directions.
>”Uh, guess we go to the casino now? Follow me then.”
>And follow her you do.
>She leads you deeper and deeper into Las Pegasus, eventually brining you directly underneath the cloud city component of the town.
>Everything is darker here, though neon signs everywhere help brighten things up.
>You wonder where they get the neon for the signs. 
>Knowing these ponies, probably from magic.
>Pure Life stops before a gigantic, magnificent structure. The Golden Apple.
>You crack your knuckles.
>They won’t know what hit them.

>You enter the building, Pure Life right behind you. 
>Immediately you can see a number of gambling implements. Blackjack, Slots... You name it, it’s there.
>You head over to one of many chip reclamation counters.
>You make a quick transaction, getting yourself some poker chips.
>You reckon you’ll be able to make about half of what you’ll need in a few games.
>Pure Life follows you through the complex as you scope out some games.
>Eventually you see a poker game going on.
>One of the stallions playing flips his shit, yelling out expletives en mass at the other players.
>Someone is clearly mad. Security guards quickly arrive and remove him from the premises.
>You snatch up his seat, causing the other ponies look up at you.
“Hey there. Got room for one more?”
>The one leading, a gray stallion that seems extremely interesting, shrugs.
>”I have no problems with this. Come, play with us.”
>He takes a drink from his beer, which looked probably more expensive than every other brand in existence combined, then nods at the dealer.
>He plays you some more cards. Your hand is pretty shitty. This might take awhile.

/A few hours later/
>You take a sip from your beer, the same brand that stallion was drinking before.
>You look at your massive pile of poker chips.
>Pretty much every chip that ‘Dos Equus’ guy had was now on your side of the table and then some.
>Poor guy even lost his jacket to you. It’s too small for you to wear, but hey.
>Maybe you’ll give it to Ditto. He could use the swag.
>You finish up the round, busting all your opponents out. 
>They have nothing left to buy in with, so the game is over.
>And you win.
“Well guys, thanks for the cash. See you.”
>You snap your fingers and some servants show up from somewhere. 
>They collect your chips in a bag, then pass it to you.
>You smile as you take it. Lods of emone!
>You look over to Pure Life who had been silently watching the game play out, slack jawed.
“What wrong, Pure Life?”
>”How did you... I... What...”
“One day you will understand. But that day is not today.”

>You leave the casino, chips in hand.
>Since Rainbow was kidnapped in a city of evil kidnappers, you figure it’d be better to just give him the chips. He can cash them in later.
“So Pure Life, any idea where Ditto is at? Like, know of any priests we could check?”
>She sighs, “Anon, you realize there are hundreds of priests in this city, right?”
>You pause. Shit, you did not think of that.
>You glance off at the streets of Las Pegasus, spotting dozens of ponies walking about their various jobs.
“Hm. Well damnit. What do we do now?”
>She places a hoof-flipper on her chin, thinking. “Well, there’s this psychic I know that is famous for being able to bring up lost memories. Maybe you’ve heard of her? She’s called Miss Fortune!”
>You think of the name. You think you might have heard of it before.
“Alright I guess. Lead the way?”
>She nods, leading the way. 
>She takes you down a number of streets. How does she not get lost in this maze?
>Eventually you arrive at a purple building. 
>She enters it, gesturing for you to come inside.
>What could possibly go wrong?

>You enter the building, finding a small lobby. There’s a bench and two doors that lead off into the building.
>Pure Life is already sitting on the bench, so you sit with her.
>A pony exits from one of the rooms. He’s got a happy smile on his face.
>He nods at you, leaving the building. 
>You aren’t isolated for long though, as a purple mare with a red mane soon leaves the room, heading behind the counter.
>She sees you, smiling happily. “Ah, welcome!”
>She walks over, looking you over. She doesn’t seem all that weirded out by your unusual appearance.
“Hello there, uh... Miss Fortune I take it?”
>She nods, “Yes, that is me. How many I help you?”
“Well, last night there was a very heavy party. We don’t know what happened and would like to know.”
>You gesture to your companion. She waves nervously.
>”I see. Come, come...”
>She heads to her office. Shrugging you head in after her, ducking to avoid the shorter entryway.
>That was pretty strange, actually.
>This doorway is smaller than the one to enter the house itself.
>You take a seat in a comfy red chair. Pure Life takes the other.

>”Now then. I suppose we should begin?”
>The Psychics horn lights up with a soft pink light. The door closes.
>The crystal ball begins to slow a bit. 
>”Now, I must warn you... Many ponies have come to me wishing to know what happened during their wild parties. Most have regretted it. Are you sure you wish to know what happened?”
>You frown, thinking it through. Perhaps she was right.
>Considering you couldn’t even find half of your outfit in the hotel itself, it might be better to not know after all.
>However, while you had decided you’re better off without, Pure Life has different plans.
>”I’m fine! Show me!”
>The oracle nods, “Very well. Look into my crystal ball, please.”
>She complies and Miss Fortune’s horn begins to glow brighter. There’s a bright flash of light...
>You look over to Pure Life, who’s eyes are convulsing. 
>Thankfully, they settle within a few seconds.
>”Tell me, did you find what you wanted?”
>Pure Life’s eyes go wide. She looks at you slowly.
>Her eyes move down to your crotch.
>The oracle wisely passes her a paper bag, which she promptly throws up into.

>You almost want to be offended by Pure Life’s actions.
>But you let it slide. The less you inquire about whatever you did with her, the better.
>It was bad enough with Chrysalis.
>Miss Fortune turns to you. “I take it you will pass then?”
“Yeah I think I will. Uh... How much do I owe you?”
>She tells you her fee. It’s a good deal more than you expected.
“Uh... Mind if I pay in poker chips?”
>You hold up the bag, shaking it a bit. She rolls her eyes.
>”At this rate I may as well make my only accepted currency poker chips... Fine.”
>You give her the money after a bit of digging around. You should have sorted this thing better.
>You leave the building with Pure Life. She’s having difficulty even looking at you.
>Across the street you spot a fairly angry Inkie Pie. She still has her enchanted bracelets on.
>Guess the whole divorce thing didn’t really work out.
“Hey! Inkie!”
>She casually glances over to you. She turns away, yelling something.
>From inside a nearby building exit her siblings, with her unexpected husband right behind.

>They cross the street, arriving in front of you in short order.
“I take it your quest proved less than fruitful?”
>Ditto nods, “We have been unsuccessful in removing the enchanted rings. Our next stop is a blacksmith, who I believe can melt them off.”
“You realize that will hurt like hell, yes?”
>Inkie rolls her eyes, “You realize we don’t care, yes?”
>Blinkie frowns at her sister, “Speak for yourself! I like my legs the way they are!”
“Have you guys like, considered shaving all the hair off the leg in question? It might give some room.”
>Pinkie raises an eyebrow to your suggestion, thinking it over.
>Inkie gives her a cold glare, “No Pinkie, we aren’t letting you cut our hair. Remember what happened last time?”
>Pinkie sighs, “Come on Inkie, you know a mohawk looks good on you!”
>Jeez. What have you done?
>Ditto pokes your bag of chips curiously. “What’s in the bag?”
“The money. Ditto, cast the cloud walk spell on us and let’s get going.”
>After taking a minute to recall said spell, he casts it on all of you.
>You set off to move, but Ditto stops you. “Wait! We need to test it!”

>Ditto buzzes skywards, leaving you with the mares.
>Pure Life shudders, likely from what she saw of Ditto in the party.
>”So Anon, you won all the money in a few hours? How’d you manage that?”
“Let’s just say my fellow players had a lot of money to spend.”
>Pinkie smiles brightly at your response.
>Blinkie however, takes note of Pure Life’s agony. “Pure Life? What’s wrong?”
>”I remember everything. Every horrible thing. I should have stayed home...”
>Inkie snorts, “Don’t be a baby. You didn’t suck /that/ many dicks.”
>She glares at her, “How would you even know? You got wasted too!”
>Inkie glances off at Blinkie Pie, “Not right away. Blinkie here messed me up a little way into it.”
>”I did not! You drank the punch yourself!”
>”I’m not an idiot Blinkie! I saw you put it in my soda!”
>”No I didn’t! Shut up!”
“Pure Life, did Blinkie drug Inkie?”
>She looks off, recalling the memories. “No.”
>Blinkie gives her sister a smug grin of victory. 
>Pinkie just sighs. No doubt she’s done this many, many times.

>Ditto buzzes back to your group a minute or so later. He has a big clump of cloud with him.
>”Ooh! I love bouncing on clouds!”
>Pinkie bounces off towards him, trying to get onto the fluffy material.
>”Pinkie, please let me set this up...”
>She stops her bouncing, nodding. Ditto places the cloud just off the ground.
>”Now, please, one at a time, step onto the cloud. If the spell is working as it should, you’ll be able to stand on it.”
>Inkie rolls her eyes, pushing herself past Pinkie. “Since when did you grow a spine?” She hops onto the cloud.
>She doesn’t fall through it to her surprise. It seems like she thought she would. Ha!
>”Hmph. Not bad. Alright, Pinkie, you’re next.”
>She hops off, her sister replacing her in short order. Blinkie goes on next, followed by Pure Life and then finally you step onto it.
>None of you fall through it, so you decide to move onto the next part of the plan.
”Alright, now we need to get up there.”
>You point upwards to the cloud city above yourself.
“Any ideas?”

>You silently thank whatever gods are out there for dumping Pure Life onto you.
>While a fairly strange pony, she has proven very useful in navigating the city.
>You probably would still be trying to build up some cash in a poor man’s casino if it weren’t for her.
>She takes you all to a sort of lift. It reminds you of a ski lift, but without ponies skiing down to the surface later.
>To Ditto’s dismay there’s a group of unicorn guards who repeat the test he did before you are let onboard.
>Oh well, better safe than sorry.
>After a ten minute climb you arrive in the cloud part of Las Pegasus. It’s not much to look at.
>There’s a section full of homes and other constructions, but otherwise there’s not much too it.
>Definitely not as developed as Cloudsdale, that’s for sure.
>Using the map you were given as a guide, you locate the weather factory. Luna and Chrysalis are sitting around outside it.
“Hello ladies.”
>They look over to you, each having a different expression.
>Chrysalis’ is more of a relieved happy look. Luna’s is one of disbelief.
>”Anonymous, how are you standing on the clouds? Thou are not a Pegasus.”
“It’s magic Luna. I ain’t gotta explain shit.”
>You walk past her, the rest of the group trotting behind.
>Time to make some transactions.

>Once inside the factory, Chrysalis takes the lead.
>She takes your group through a number of corridors, leading you to a room deep inside the factory.
>Thankfully they are opening up late, or you’d have a lot of Pegasi asking what the fuck is going on.
>You look around in the dark room. Without the lights on, you can’t see a thing.
“Alright you scoundrel, show yourself!”
>After a pause a voice rings out. “I think not.”
>Pure Life sighs. “Bluffin Muffin? What the hell are you doing?”
>Thinking back, that was definitely Bluffin Muffin’s voice. Son of a bitch.
>”I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, put the money in that slot...”
>A spotlight shines down on a slot. Cautiously you place the sack of chips into the slot.
“Alright ‘not Bluffin Muffin’, where’s Rainbow Dash?”
>The room lights up, revealing a cage. It isn’t even locked. Clever bastard.
>Inside the cage is Rainbow Dash, passed out on the floor.
>She’s wearing your boxers as a hat.
>Well. Uh. Fuck.
>Putting your pride to the side for your bro’s sake, you enter the cage scooping her up over your shoulder.

>She quickly awakens, looking at you in the face.
>”Anon? What’s going on?”
“Not much. Saving you from pissed off muffin chefs. How about you? I see you’ve got a new hat.”
>One of her hooves reaches up to her head, snatching your boxers away.
>She looks at them, flushing bright red.
“Don’t worry you can keep ‘em. I’ve got hundreds more.”
>She tosses them away, pushing off of you and taking flight right beside you.
>Pure Life lets out a sad laugh. “Don’t worry Rainbow. That’s only the tip of the iceberg.”
>”Uh... Right. So what exactly happened again?”
>Pinkie Pie bounces over to her, pulling her friend into a tight hug.
>”Well you got kidnapped by somep0ny called Bluffin Muffin and he had Anon here give him 50,000 bits to get you back safely! He put them in that slot there!”
>She points to the slot in question.
>Rainbow’s expression goes from pained from Pinkie’s hug to pained in fear.
>”Uh... Anon...”
“Rainbro?”
>”That’s a very delicate and fragile part of a weather factory’s primarily cloud generation system. Is this factory currently on?”

“No. Why?”
>She sighs in partial relief, “Good. If it were, all those bits would break the machine. It’d be weeks before they could get a replacement from Cloudsdale.”
“Huh. Good thing the factory is off then. Now then, time to go.”
/Meanwhile in the Factory Control Room/
>A young weather operator bursts into the control room franticly.
>His supervisor gives him an annoyed glare, having been interrupted from his discussion with the cute girl from public relations. “What is it kid?”
>”New order from Detrot! They need cumulus ASAP!”
>”What? Why can’t they get it from Cloudsdale? Damnit...”
>”Sorry sir, but Cloudsdale is under pressure already from Manehattan and Fillydelphia! It’s up to us!”
>”Yeah yeah, I get it. Turn on the machine, we’ll get started right now.”
>”Yes sir!”
/Outside the Factory/
>You had just exited the factory when a large explosion rang out.
>You all turn back to it, spotting black smoke billowing out of the ‘exit’ segment of the weather factory.
>You all look on in horror as more explosions ring out.
“Huh. Guess Bluffin didn’t get his money in time...”
>”My god Anon... You just blew up Las Pegasus’ weather factory...”

>Safe to say, you knew better than to hang out in a city that would soon want your head on a platter.
>You return to your hotel as quickly as possible, entering your room and packing up your shit.
>Derpy arrives, scared. She bursts into your room, burrowing into your chest.
>Sadly your body wasn’t ready. You stumble over your suitcase, falling onto your back.
“Derpy? What’s wrong?”
>”Anonymous! The weather factory exploded!”
“Yes. I know.”
>She blinks at you, confused. “You know?”
>You smile sheepishly at her. Whelp, here goes nothing.
“Uh... Yeah. That was me. An accident, I assure you.”
>She gasps, letting go of you. She sighs, facehoofing.
>You get back up, getting a nice view of her ‘I am so disappoint right now’ face.
>”What am I going to do with you Anon...”
“Make some muffins? Muffins make everything good. But later. Pack your things, we’re skipping town.”
>”Ugh... There goes my vacation...”
>You meet up with your friends later. You toss Shining Armour (who was reclining on your couch with his wife) your keys.
“Enjoy my friend. And merry fucking Christmas.”

>Hours later, you recline in your bed. This train was pimped out to the max.
>Luna has clearly shown her worth. 
>You glance over to the next bed. Ditto insisted on sharing a room with you.
>That however, did not stop Pinkie from bunking with him too.
>She sighs happily, watching the TV they had mounted in your compartment. Nothing in particular is on; you are just channel surfing.
>Eventually you stop on the news.
>”And in recent news, an explosion caused heavy damage to the weather factory of Las Pegasus. Police forces apprehended a unicorn who was identified as ‘Bluffin Muffin’ who is being held responsible for the attack.”
>You change the channel, unable to resist the urge to smile.
>Bitch got what was coming to him. You regret jack didilly shit.
>Pinkie hugs her husband tighter, shifting right on top of him. He smiles sheepishly.
>”You know, I’m gonna have to teach you how to be a good coltfriend. There’s more to it than just sex and stuff, after all!”
>”Yes... I figured that was the case.”
>”But I suppose for now we can just have some fun...” She kisses him.
“You know I’m right here, right?”
>”I know silly! You should watch so you’ll know exactly what to do with Chrysalis later!”
>Your collection of faces proves incapable of showing your true feelings. You just groan as she mounts him.
>This would be a long trip.

>A day and a half later you had returned to Ponyville.
>It was fairly late, so you immediately head out to retire back home.
>The Pie sisters head off to Sugarcube Corner as opposed to your home. You wonder how many will still be here by the end of the week.
>Probably just the usual one.
>Everything seemed alright as you went back to your home. 
>However on a closer inspection, the entire town seemed rather sad. What happened here?
>You unlock your door, walking inside. 
>At this point Luna departs for Canterlot. Chrysalis seems happy she’s finally gone.
>You enter your living room, spotting a peculiar sight.
>Dinky is sitting your chair, watching some sort of show. Whatever it is, she probably is way too young to be watching it.
>Boreale is gone. In his place are two very strange looking ponies. One of them has blood red eyes, a blackish purple coat and reddish purple mane. He’s got make up on to look pretty, applied by most like Sweetie Belle who is sitting beside him.
>The other CMC are also around. In the far corner you see Snails and the other strange pony playing Chess. That pony is purpleish green and looks almost like a zombie. His unicorn horn is sharp and curved much like Ditto’s.
>The red pony locks eyes with you. His eye twitches.

>It speaks with a harsh gravelly tone. “...Sindri.”
>You figure that’s probably his other friend. You notice the strange robe ‘Sindri’ is wearing. He seems to be some sort of sorcerer.
>”Sindri.”
>Sindri doesn’t react to his calls, instead moving one of his pieces to take Snail’s knight.
>”SINDRI!”
>Sweetie Belle backs away from him, more annoyed by his volume than afraid of him.
>Sindri responds at last, turning to face his possible friend. “/What/, my lord?”
>”There is an ape in my stronghold. What is the MEANING of this!?”
“...This is my house.”
>Derpy pushes past you, heading over to her daughter.
>She pulls her into a motherly hug. “Muffin! How was everything?”
>”It was great mom! Boreale took us offroading and then we met Bale and Sindri! They’re really cool.”
>Chrysalis looks on at the duo worriedly. Did she know them?
“Well, anyhow party’s over.”
>You snatch up the remote, turning off the show. Scootaloo groans. “Man... It was just getting good.”
>Applebloom raises an eyebrow at her, “Not really. That mare just kept screaming the whole time...”
“I said party’s over. Get out.”
>Reluctantly they all file out, even the so called ‘Bale’ and ‘Sindri’.
>Something told you that you’d be seeing them again. Oh well.
>You take back your seat, yawning. Everything was back to normal.

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