Anon and Chrysalis Ch 13 - Act 1

 The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 13: We are Vegas

Act 1: The Long Road to Ruin

 

>It had been quite some time since Applejack’s most recent attempt at rape.

>Dinky still went to school, Derpy still delivered the mail.

>Rainbro was a bro as usual, Ditto was his guardy self.

>And Chrysalis kept flirting with you. It didn’t help that she could now turn into a whyboner worthy human female.

>On the bright side, Nympha and her mother left for ‘Alpha Hive.’ No more evil rapist Princesses!

>At least until Luna comes by for another round. That wasn’t something you were looking forward too.

>All in all though, everything is going well for you and your crew.

>You let out a yawn in your wondrous chair of impossible wonderfulness. Derpy is on your lap, as usual.

>You turn to Chrysalis, who is too busy watching a show about cats to return your glance. Typical.

>You turn to Ditto, who simply nods at you.

>While he’s not showing it, you can tell he’s happy. He’s always happy when everything is safe and secure.

>You turn to Rainbow Dash...

>But she isn’t in her seat. She said she would come by today with ‘important news.’ Guess it isn’t as important as her nap...

 

>Dinky walks into your living room, hopping up into your lap with her mother.

>You smile down at the little filly. Little kids always seem to brighten up your day.

>Except Diamond Tiara. That brat’s voice alone sends you into a rage. Stupid spoiled rich kids...

“So, any idea what happened to Rainbow Dash?”

>Chrysalis grunts. “Probably fell asleep and forgot to come.”

>”This is a logical presumption. Rainbow Dash is known for such actions.”

>Despite your best efforts, Ditto’s social skills remain poorly built up. For him, he has two modes:

>Sober Mode, where he is tactical and awkward, and Drunk Mode, where he’s getting around town with every mare in the country.

>Luckily the officer stays away from all forms of alcohol, especially when at home. It would be way too difficult to explain to Dinky if he got going with her mother.

“I guess that’s the case. Well, whatever. Guess we’ll find out tomorrow?”

>As if to answer your question, your doorbell rings. A quick glance to Ditto and he’s off to get it.

>He returns shortly with the cyan mare in question.

“Oh hi Rainbow. Glad you could join us.”

 

>She rolls her eyes, “Yeah I know, I’m late. But I had to get everything for this!”

>She flies over to her seat, opening up her saddlebags.

>From within them she gets out a fairly crude map of Equestria, a Wonderbolts poster, and an envelope.

“So uh, what exactly are these unrelated objects supposed to tell us?”

>She places them down onto your coffee table, making them visible. You shut off the TV, to Chrysalis’ dismay. No distractions allowed.

>”Alright well...” She points to a spot on the map, a good deal north. “This here, is Las Pegasus.”

>Ditto nods, absorbing all the information he can. Chrysalis’ face is one of mild disinterest.

>”And at Las Pegasus there’s going to be a huge Wonderbolts show, plus a bunch of other cool things!”

“Really now? So, uh, what does this have to do with us?”

>She rolls her eyes, scooping up the Envelope. She empties it, revealing numerous tickets.

>”I want you guys to come with me!”

>All of you give her your best, ‘lolwut’ faces, except Dinky who’s looking on in pure wonder.

“...Really?”

 

>”Yes really! You guys can come with me, we’ll see the show, it’ll be great!”

“But don’t you think it’s a bit far too just head over for one show?”

>She leans back in her seat, “Nah. Plus it’ll be a bunch of shows for a few days! I can probably even get us in to see them up close!”

>Ditto frowns, not liking her plans. “This ‘Las Pegasus’ place is out of the Hive’s strategic reach. We’d be completely isolated there...”

>Chrysalis smiles at this, “Well then! Guess we’re going to go see a show!”

>Ditto turns to her, confused. “My queen? Why are you so enthusiastic about this?”

>She rolls her eyes, adjusting herself in her seat so she’s laying on her back.

>”Ever since mother came by for her little visit, she has been constantly sending over royal paperwork from the Alpha Hive. Paperwork she can easily fill out herself.” Ditto nods. “So, if we aren’t here, she can’t send it and I won’t have to do it. It’s quite clever, honestly.”

“Yes except that when you get back there’ll be a shitload of work piling up that you’ll need to do.”

>She frowns, thinking this over.

 

>Derpy pulls her adorable daughter close to her.

>”But isn’t Las Pegasus a dangerous city? I can’t take Dinky somewhere dangerous!”

>Rainbow groans, facehoofing. “Derpy, Las Pegasus isn’t a dangerous city! It’s fun, safe and a nice place to be!”

“If it’s anything like Las Vegas back home, probably not.”

>Rainbro shoots you a cold glare, but you don’t react to it. She never means anything with those.

>”Either way, Rainbow, I can’t take Dinky there! Can’t risk it!”

>Dinky groans, “But mom I’ll be fine!”

>Derpy ignores her. “You’ll just have to give the extra ticket to someone else, Rainbow.”

“You sure you can’t just come? We could get Dinky a sitter, no problem.”

>Derpy raises an eyebrow at your suggestion, “Really? I’ve never had good luck getting sitters for Dinky in the past...”

>With a slight nudge, Derpy gets off of you. You stand up.

“I’m sure they will listen to my persuasive abilities. Chrys? Ditto?”

>They rise up before you. Chrysalis sighs.

>”I suppose you need me to solve all your problems again, yes?”

“Technically, it’s Rainbow’s problem.”

>Rainbow rolls her eyes, flying off towards your door.

 

>You leave your home, your posse of equines behind you.

>You know for a fact that Derpy will not go if her daughter isn’t being taken care of. Surely someone in this town can take care of Dinky for the week you’ll be off.

>You come up with a list of potential candidates, heading off towards the first on the list: Twilight.

>While not exactly a pony known for being good with kids, Spike isn’t starving so she’s clearly doing something right.

>Silently, you group makes it to the mighty library. You glance over to them before knocking.

>The door is promptly opened up by a light blue magical aura. Wait... Light blue?

>Unfortunately Chrysalis doesn’t give you a chance to contemplate, prodding you inside.

>You look about, quickly spotting Twilight sitting a table, reading books. She smiles at you.

>”Hello Anon! What’s up?”

>Your other companions make themselves noticeable, lining up beside you. That’s when you see her.

>Sitting at another table, across the room, is the Princess of the Night herself.

>Princess Luna.

>”Greetings, fair Anonymous!”

 

>She gives a Chrysalis and Ditto a cold glare, “We see thou have brought your changeling associates...”

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes, “Still mad I stole your stallion, Luna?” Luna narrows her gaze, but says nothing.

>You clear your throat, brining the focus back to you.

“Uh, so Twilight. I was wonder, do you think you could take care of Dinky for a week?”

>Twilight opens her mouth to answer, but Chrysalis magic pulls you away. She glares at you, gesturing to Luna.

>You personally doubt Luna will give a flying fuck if you are going to Las Pegasus. You roll your eyes and turn back to Twilight.

>”Uh... Any reason why you need her here?”

>Rainbow smiles, “Well we’re heading to see a Wonderbolts show out of town, so Dinky needs someone to take care of her while we’re all gone.”

>She nods, but isn’t set yet, “Yes, well, why can’t she come with you then?”

>”Because Las Pegasus is a dangerous place and she might get hurt!” God damnit Derpy...

>Chrysalis facehoofs in frustration. So much for stealth.

>Luna frowns, thinking. “Las Pegasus you say?”

 

>You sigh. Guess you may as well be upfront about it.

“Yes. We’re going to Las Pegasus. Derpy is absolutely convinced it won’t be safe for her filly here, so we need to get a babysitter.”

>You turn back to Twilight. She smiles sheepishly, “Uh... Sorry but I don’t think that’d be a good idea...”

“And why, pray tell, is that?”

>”I’m not good with young ponies. Trust me on that one.”

“No. I refuse. Explain.”

>She shakes her head, “No! It’s embarrassing and I’m not telling you!”

>Rainbow Dash laughs, “Oh come on Twi, how bad could it be.”

>”Indeed, Twilight Sparkle. Celestia has told us of many embarrassing events in thy younger years. Surely it could not be more embarrassing than when you w-“

>”YES! Yes it can be! Sorry Anon, but you’ll need somep0ny else!”

>You attempt to walk over to her, but she teleports off, ending the discussion by force. Well, fuck.

>You look over at Luna, already tired of this crap.

“You don’t think Cadance would be available, do you?”

 

>Unfortunately your joke flies right over her head. Someone clearly hasn’t done their homework.

>”We do not understand thy request. Why would Cadance be helpful in this situation?”

>You groan, hand applied directly to the forehead.

“Yeah nevermind. Oh well. Next stop...”

>You head out, your crew around you.

>To your dismay, Luna sees fit to join you as well. Wonderful, as if you didn’t have enough royals in your life...

>You arrive at Sugarcube Corner, which is approaching closing time. Gotta speed up!

>Inside, it’s pretty much empty. In fact, most of Ponyville is empty.

>Though with Princess Capslock right by you it’s hard to wonder why.

>Chrysalis, Luna and Derpy chill outside while you make a quick check.

>Hopefully they will behave until you get back. Now then.

>You walk up to the counter, which isn’t manned. Or you guess ‘ponied’ would be the correct word. Whatever.

“Hello? Anyone home?”

>As if on cue, Pinkie Pie the Pink pops out from the kitchen, all smiles.

>”Hi Anon! Hi Rainbow! Hi Ditto! What’s up?”

“A bit, Pinkie. Got a minute?”

 

>Pinkie indeed has a minute to spare. She walks over, smiling still.

>Ditto seems to be keeping his distance, strategically placing himself as far as possible from the mare of his heart’s desire without making him appear to be avoiding her.

>It’s honestly a waste of effort, since Pinkie isn’t looking at him to begin with.

“Well Pinkie, you know Dinky? Derpy’s kid?”

>She nods, “Yeah, the cute little unicorn! She’s really clever, you know!”

“Well, we’re all heading off to Las Pegasus with Dashie here to see a Wonderbolts show and need someone to-“

>Pinkie’s eyes go wide at the mention of the Wonderbolts show. Her grin somehow doubles in size.

>”WOW! You’re gonna go see the Wonderbolts? Oh can I come? Can I? Can I? Can I?”

>Um. Well then. Scratch one Pinkie...

>Rainbow shrugs, “Sure. We’ve got an extra ticket anyway, since Dinky ain’t goin’.”

>She bounces happily, “Yay! This is going to be so much fun! Ever since Dashie told me about how cool the Wonderbolts are, I’ve always wanted to see one of their shows!”

“Well, I guess you’ll get your chance soon...”

 

>You exit the store to find Luna and Chrysalis having just finished a fairly heated discussion.

>You chuckle. Their faces are so close together, the slightest push would make them kiss.

“Ladies, ladies. I know you have such deep feelings for each other, but not in front of the filly, please!”

>Luna and Chrysalis both turn to you, Chrysalis giving her usual cold glares.

>At this point, you are pretty much immune to her wiles.

>Luna backs away from Chrysalis, actually blushing just slightly, “Thou are incorrect in your assumptions, Anonymous.”

“Cool story bro, tell it again.”

>You turn to Derpy, shaking your head. She sighs, seemingly expecting this.

>You walk off, your crew flying or trotting right behind.

>You note that Dinky has nodded off on her mother’s back. How adorable...

>Luna picks up the pace, reaching up beside you. Her face is one of... happiness?

>”Anonymous... Thou called us a ‘bro.’ We weren’t aware you thought of us so highly!” You turn to her, dumbfounded.

>Damnit Luna, why can’t you into sarcasm?

“Luna that’s not wh-“

>You’re cut off as she pecks you on the cheek. She quickly pulls back, looking away.

>But that fucking smile is still there. Damnit Luna...

 

>Either way, you make your way to Rarity’s house of fashion.

>Normally you wouldn’t even bother with this shit, but damnit, she’s all you’ve got left.

>You knock on the boutique’s door. The shop itself is closed, but you can tell from the lights that she’s still awake.

>While you wait for her response, you find yourself lamenting the fact that most places in Ponyville don’t have fucking doorbells.

>It’s not like they don’t exist; you have a doorbell. Yet besides yourself, only a handful of homes bothered to get one.

>Before you can wallow in... whatever it is humans wallow in, the door opens up.

“Hello Rarity. How are you doing?”

>She smiles, though it’s probably just for show, “Ah darling, good evening. What brings you by so late?”

“It’s only seven and I’d like to ask you a favour. You see...”

>You gesture to Derpy and Dinky, who get into her view.

“Derpy here needs someone to take care of her filly, Dinky, for a week while we head off to Las Pegasus.”

>Rarity frowns, nodding.

 

“Think you could pull that off? I’ll pay you, of course.”

>She shifts uneasily. Luckily the rest of your group is off to the side, out of her sight.

>She’d probably shit bricks if she saw ‘the royal Princess Luna’ at her store.

>”Anonymous, while I’m honoured you ask me to do this, I’m not cut out for such work. I’m afraid I’ll have to decline.”

>Well fuck everything. Now what?

“Alright. Thanks for your time...”

>”Good night, Anonymous. I’m sure somep0ny can help you with this.”

>The door closes, and you are once again without any plans.

>Who else did you know that could take care of Dinky for you?

>You definitely /cannot/ ask Applejack or Fluttershy. That would be very bad.

>Cadance is fucking who knows where.

>...Hm. Maybe Lyra? I suppose that could work.

>Chrysalis lets out a yawn, somewhat tired from the meaningless search. She takes flight.

>”Well Anonymous, you have fun wasting everyp0ny’s time. I’ll be at home if you need me.”

>She buzzes off into the night, totally abandoning you.

>Thanks, ‘bro.’

 

>Reluctantly you make your way over to the dreaded home of Bonbon.

>Luckily it’s easy to find amongst the near identical houses all around it.

>It’s the one with the doorbell.

>You press the switch, activating the auditory contraption. Soon, the door opens up.

>”Hm? Anon? What are you doing here?”

“Uh, hey Bonbon. I need to ask a favour...”

>She narrows her eyes, “Is that a fact?”

>She turns back to her house, “Lyra!”

>Unfortunately the loud noise wakes up Dinky, who groans in irritation. Clearly someone was having a nice dream.

>Lyra trots up to her lover, somewhat fearfully. “Uh, Bonbon? What’s...”

>She looks up at you, face slowly bring itself into a bright smile.

“Hey Lyra. Think you could help me out with something?”

>”Sure Anon! What’s up?”

>Bonbon rolls her eyes, “Yeah, I’ll let you two do your thing...” She heads back inside.

>Well excuuuse me, destroyer.

>Derpy steps forward, making herself known. In fact, her actions bring the presence of all your faithful companions to her attention.

>”Uh... Anon? What exactly did you need?”

 

>You lean down, snatching up Dinky off of Derpy’s back.

>You cradle her in your arms like one would a baby. She’s noticeably heavier than a human baby would be though.

“This here, is Dinky. She’s Derpy’s daughter.”

>Lyra nods, waiting for you to continue.

“My friends and I are heading off to Las Pegasus for a week of Wonderbolts related nonsense. Dinky needs someone to watch her while we’re gone.”

>Lyra smiles uneasily, knowing exactly where you’re going with this.

“Think you could take her in until we get back?”

>Lyra lets out a strained laugh, unable to make eye contact. Well, guess that’s another no.

>Strike motherfucking four. Well done Anonymous, well done.

“...No then? Hmph. Alright. Thanks anyway.”

>She nods sadly, “Sorry, but Bonbon and I are heading out on a trip of our own next week... We won’t be around to uh... Take care of her.”

>Dinky sighs, “No one wants to let me stay with them...”

>Oh god, your feels.

“Don’t worry Dinky, we’ll think of something...”

 

>Defeated, you return to your house. Pinkie breaks off on the way, heading to Sugarcube Corner.

>You walk inside, still holding Dinky in your arms. What to do, what to do...

>In your living room is Queen Chrysalis, as you expect. Beside her however, is a new face.

>”Hello Anonymous. As promised, I have solved all your issues.”

“Sorry, I don’t follow.”

>Ditto blinks as he sees the new changeling. “Commander Boreale?”

>The Change Marine nods. “I have been assigned babysitting duty by her highness to ensure to health and safety of one Dinky Hooves!”

>Well then, that’s one problem solved.

>And solved it was. After Derpy demanded and went through Boreale’s life history, she eventually determined that he was good enough to take care of little Dinky.

>Clearly that mare has high standards.

“Well uh, Boreale... Thanks for your help. Guess we’ll see you tomorrow.”

>”Very well.”

>In a greenish flash, he disappears. Something tells you he isn’t gone at all.

>Dinky lets out another yawn, done for the day. Derpy gives her a motherly gaze and heads off to put her to bed.

 

>Rainbow stretches herself out a bit, smiling excitedly.

>”Hey, Anon, you mind if I just crash here until tomorrow?”

“Sure, bro, go nuts.”

>She nods, relaxing in her seat. You turn to the night princess, who has been fine standing around your living room silently.

“Guess we’ll be seeing you then?”

>Unfortunately, Luna has other plans.

>”We have decided that we shall accompany you on thy trip to Las Pegasus.”

>Chrysalis expression turns to one of pure horror. “No! You can’t!”

>”And pray tell, why is that?”

>Chrysalis attempts to come up with a good reason to exclude the night herself, but Ditto is ahead of her.

>”We do not have enough tickets for you to attend. It is not possible for you to go unless one of us does not.”

>She chuckles, “Thy hath forgotten who we are. It will be a most simple action to obtain our own method of transportation.” She flexes out her regal wings. “In fact, we could simply fly with you to your destination, if it became necessary to do so.”

“Uh. Right. Hm. Well uh, welcome aboard I suppose? Any reason you want to come so badly?”

 

>She blinks in surprise. Heh, guess she didn’t plan for that one, eh Anon?

>Shut up brain, she’ll come up with something.

>”Uh... We hath never been to Las Pegasus. So we should go there to uh... visit. Yes.”

>She smiles at you, blushing slightly. Chrysalis rolls her eyes.

>”Oh sure, if you say so. I’m absolutely positive it doesn’t have to do with you wanting to get with Anonymous while you’re there.”

>She gawks at her. “Thou would accuse us of wanting to commit adultery? For shame! Thy hath no understanding of our royal title!”

>Chrysalis ignores her, turning to you. “Don’t worry Anon, I’ll keep her out of your hair.”

>Rainbow chuckles, “You know Anon, you’ve got every mare in Equestria after you...”

“Does that include you, bro?”

>She blushes, her witty comment blowing up in her face. “Of course not! Don’t be silly!”

>Ditto rolls his eyes. “It does not take a soldier to know you are lying.”

>”Shut up Ditto!”

>He flinches back from her volume, but doesn’t say anything. Rainbow, flustered as fuck, is at least happy he’s obeying her orders.

>You just laugh. Despite Luna barging in, this trip looks like it’ll be fun after all.

 

>You get up at the usual time the next morning. Better get packing...

>You pull out a number of outfits to wear while you’re off in Las Pegasus. You make sure to get your best attire.

>Dressing well grants a huge Charisma bonus, which is extremely important when playing poker.

>If everything goes according to plan, you’ll have a nice number of shiny new bits when you leave. Las Pegasus won’t know what hit it.

>Soon enough you’ve got everything neatly away in a suitcase. You head downstairs with it, placing it beside the kitchen doorway.

>You look into the kitchen, finding Derpy already flying about. The smell of muffins fills the air.

“Making some muffins, Derpy?”

>She turns to you, smiling brightly, “Yep! Can’t leave home on an empty stomach!”

>You laugh, walking over. Your timing is perfect, as she pulls out a batch within a few minutes.

>Clearly letting her live here was a good choice. Free muffins, man!

>You pick up one of the muffins, biting into it.

>She made banana nut muffins. All of your yes.

“Don’t tell Chrysalis, Derpy, but you’re my favourite pony.”

>She blushes, “Uh, thank you!”

 

>Within short order the rest of your group are all up and mobile. Everyone got their stuff prepared, save Dash, who is flying home to get it.

>You recline in your chair, Derpy sitting on your lap as usual.

>Luna has disappeared, however. Where’d she go anyway?

>”Uh, Anonymous? I have determined the location of Princess Luna.”

>Ditto to the rescue, every time. With a nudge, Derpy gets off of you and you head to the source of Ditto’s cries.

>He’s just outside, talking through an open window.

“Where’s the princess at? On my roof or something?”

>”Above it. You’ll want to see this...”

>Above my roof? What the hell does that mean?

>You head outside, Derpy flying behind you. Chrysalis gives no fucks and continues to watch her foal’s cartoons. Whatever. You don’t need her anyway.

>The weather is fairly clear around your home, though it’s always clear thanks to Luna’s birthday gift.

>You quickly make it to Ditto, who simply points up towards the roof. You glance over.

>”Wow. That’s a big cloud...”

>Derpy sums it up pretty well. There’s a big cloud above your house.

 

>You sigh, facepalming.

“Ditto, wake her up and get her down here.”

>He nods, buzzing off towards the cloud palace sitting on top of your lovely home.

>Some yelling and whining later, Princess Luna is up and on the ground before you. She looks... different.

>For one, her mane doesn’t look anything like the night sky, instead being a solid blue. There’s not even the glitter inside it.

>She grunts, visibly tired. “Good morning, Anonymous...”

“’Ello Luna. Ready to go?”

>She yawns, “We suppose...”

>You head back to the front of your home, spotting Rainbow about to ring your doorbell.

“Morning bro. Get Chrysalis, would you?”

>”Oh hey Anon. Morning Derpy, Ditto.”

>Rainbro heads into your house to get the Queen. You turn back to spot Luna who is lagging behind significantly. Guess that’s why she’s not around in the day...

>Chrysalis and Rainbow come out shortly, Chrysalis magically holding all your bags and goods. She tosses them over to you.

“Nice to see you too.”

 

>The trek to the train station is longer than it usually would be. The slow pace of Luna didn’t help matters.

>Nor did the numerous ponies that cautiously floated about your group when they spotted the Princess.

>By the time you’re at the train station, the entire town knows she’s here. You can spot the mayor on the platform with some of her various administrators.

>”Greetings your majesty! Thank you for gracing our town with your presence! You are truly too kind.”

>Luna simply nods wearily. Most likely she’d be out cold as soon as you get onto the train.

>Pinkie pops out of nowhere, completing your group. You check your watch.

>...You have about 20 minutes to kill until the train gets here. Well fuck.

>You stay mostly silent, listening to the multiple discussions going on in the small crowd that forms around the princess.

>At least Ponyville has gotten used to the night princess’ presence.

>Most likely the rest of Equestria did not share their opinion.

>Eventually though, time is up and the train rolls up, right on time. You quickly get on, giving a brief goodbye to your other friends.

>Strangely, Fluttershy and Applejack are nowhere to be seen.

>You can’t say you’re upset about that, though.

 

>The train is, well, a normal passenger train.

>The crew is, as expected, not very big. Regardless, they pretty much lose it when they find out Princess Luna is riding with them. Maximum servant mode, activate!

>You take a seat at a booth in the dining car. Luna steals up a seat beside you.

“So, what’s the plan when we get over to Las Pegasus? Something tells me the Wonderbolts aren’t going to be performing the second we get there.”

>Rainbow Dash nods, “There’s all sorts of stuff we can try out there.” She smiles at you deviously.

>”Though you’ll probably be in the Casinos the entire time. Whatever, more fun for us, right guys?”

>She smiles at Chrysalis who grunts. Ditto doesn’t respond, too busy not looking at Pinkie Pie to say anything.

“I’ll probably bankrupt all of them in a few hours. Then what?”

>Rainbro pulls out another map, this one of Las Pegasus itself. Despite being a ‘cloud city,’ most of the city itself is built in and around a cliff face.

>”I’m sure we can plot out some destinations. Plus Las Pegasus is known for its awesome parties!”

>Pinkie gasps, “Parties? What are we waiting for!” She hops out of her seat, grabbing hold of the nearest crewmember. She points towards the engine!

>”Full speed ahead!”

 

>And full speed ahead you do.

>Pinkie’s commands resonate throughout the train, which seems to begin to move faster.

>Perhaps they are using magic to go fast? It does appear to be a new model.

>Your contemplation is, for the billionth time, interrupted once again.

>But this time, it’s from Luna leaning onto you.

>You turn to scold her, but realize she’s asleep. She actually seems pretty cute like this.

>Chrysalis sighs, horn glowing. “Want me to get her off of you?”

“...Yeah, we should probably get her to a bed.”

>Pinkie giggles, “Geez, what was she doing last night anyway?”

>You ultimately conclude whatever it is that you’re better off not knowing.

>Chrysalis gently gets her off of you. Ditto joins in with his magic and soon enough the Moon Princess is floating away from you. The duo takes her out of the car, to whatever beds they have set up for you.

>Derpy smiles, “Ooh, they have a muffin store! We should go try those!”

“Derpy, you realize they won’t be as good as yours, right?”

>She blushes, “Uh, thank you... But still, got to be sure!”

>You chuckle. Sure thing, Derpy, sure thing.

 

>The afternoon goes by fairly quickly. You pass your time eating the occasional snack and reading up on Las Pegasus.

>Despite being apparently thousands of years old, there’s pretty much nothing to be said of the place.

>On the plus side, it’s not cursed. Cursed cities are bad.

>They do, after all, deal horrible hands. Pokerface or not, you can’t win jack shit with a 7 high.

>You walk back into the dining car, which would be more accurately described as the ‘chill out in here’ car.

>You spot Pinkie, Chrys and Ditto sitting about in corner. Rainbow flies to them with a tray of food on her back. Pinkie snatches it up.

>There’s one thing you see that makes you worry just a bit. A bottle of red wine.

>The last time you saw red wine, it was after Chrysalis got drunk off of it.

>Hopefully there’d be no round two of /that/ incident.

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

>Pinkie smiles, “Oh hiya Anon! Glad you could make it! Come on, have a seat!”

>Reluctantly, you take a seat on the floor beside them.

>Why aren’t we in a booth again?

 

>”So Anon, I’ve figured out a really really useful method to split up our group while we’re in Las Pegasus!” Eh?

“Split up our group? What do you mean?”

>She giggles, “Well since we all will want to do different things, we should all pair off and do them! And I know just how to do it!”

>She snatches up the wine bottle, placing it on its side in the middle of the group. Chrysalis glances to you briefly.

>”Alright Anon! Spin the bottle!”

>Pinkie rolls a natural twenty, crushing your jimmies’ shields. What the fuck is she planning?

“Uh...”

>She seems to catch your worries, “Oh no no no! It’s not like that Anon! The pony you spin is who you’re paired up with! You don’t have to do any of that stuff with them.”

>She puts on a sly smile. “Well, unless you want too...”

>Rainbow Dash blushes furiously at the thought. “I’ll go first!”

>She quickly spins the bottle before anyone can object. It spins and spins...

>Eventually coming to a stop on the mighty Queen of the Changelings. She smiles nervously at her.

>”Oh boy. I get to ‘hang’ with the speedfreak.” She sighs, “Oh yes, this will be wonderful...”

 

>Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes. “You’re just mad that you won’t be able to keep up.”

>”HA! Don’t make me laugh. I am much faster than you will ever be!”

>You think of making an ‘in bed’ joke, but decide against it.

>Pinkie giggles, “Alright you two, that’s enough. I’ll go next!”

>She spins the bottle which stops on, of course, Commander Ditto.

>His face pales as he looks at the bottle pointing to him. “Uh... We are... together then?”

>Pinkie nods, “Yep! This will be so much fun!”

>Ditto tries to smile, but his muscles don’t cooperate. “Y-Yes. Fun...”

“So uh, who am I with then?”

>Chrysalis blinks. “Oh. Guess you’re with Derpy and...”

“...Luna. Oh boy...”

>You sigh. Fate, why must you be so cruel?

>Because, it responds. Well fuck you, bro.

>Your companions share a quick laugh. Well except Ditto. He’s more worried than anything.

>Hm. You decide to try and ease his worries. You tap Pinkie on the shoulder, who promptly looks at you.

“Uh, Pinkie? Think I could ask you something? Over there?”

>She raises an eyebrow, but complies. She gets up, following you over to the booth.

 

>You both take a seat.

>”So Anon, what’s up?”

“It’s about Ditto.”

>She turns her head like a dog would when begging. “Oh? What about him?”

“...You realize he still has a thing for you, right?”

>She opens her mouth to speak, but stays silent. She glances over to him.

“That’s probably going to be a problem, if you go with him.”

>She nods. “Yeah... You know, I figured he had gotten over it by now. It’s hard to read him sometimes...

“I know that feel. He is a soldier, after all.”

>You both sit in silence. Pinkie seems to be lost in thought of how to repair the situation.

>”Does he like... want to have sex again?”

“I think he wants a relationship, but he’s not exactly versed in the ways of romance.”

>She nods. “So, he thinks that /is/ a relationship, then?”

>You shrug. Maybe he did. You don’t think it’d be wise to walk up and ask him outright.

>Pinkie sighs, “But... I don’t really think of him that way.”

“That there’s the problem.”

>”Yeah... Well, I’ll think of something. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Sure, no problem.”

 

>The rest of the ride to the fabled Las Pegasus is fairly uneventful.

>Even Luna, who finally awoke that night, failed to prove very interesting.

>So you sit back in your bed, chilling out. Ditto is across from you, sleeping uneasily.

>”Ugh...” He groans, turning over to you. You glance at him.

“Can’t sleep?”

>He nods unhappily. “What should I do about Pinkie, Anonymous? How can I  get her to reciprocate my feelings?”

“It helps if you can define your own feelings. I’m no therapist, but I know it’s hard to make someone feel something if even you don’t know what it is.”

>”Yes... That makes a good deal of sense. Hrmm...”

>He turns up to the ceiling, thinking.

“Well, what exactly do you want from her?”

>He opens his mouth to speak, but stops. He turns back to you.

>”Well, I suppose I would like to uh... mate with her again. But I want something else too... I’m just not sure what it is...”

“Well, you’ll figure it out eventually. Anyway, good night.”

>”Good night...”

>You turn away from him, trying to get some sleep. Soon enough you’re out...

 

>You awake some time later. You glance over to the clock between horse and Ditto. 6:29.

>You groan. it’s far too early for this shit.

>Oh well, no hope of getting back to sleep now.

>You get out of bed, walking slowly over to your companion.

>As you expected, Ditto is asleep. You resist the urge to giggle at his silly face. What sort of dream is he having?

>Then you notice the bulge under his blanket. Whatever it is, it’s probably kinky.

>You head over to the train’s equivalent of a bathroom. No one is awake, so no worries on Chrysalis annexing the entire thing any time soon.

>You snatch up your brush and initiate your normal morning routine.

>Soon, your teeth are properly maintained, ready to go about their usual day as the instruments of consumption.

>You leave the bathroom, figuring you’ll just go get a snack and then return to your room.

>The room appears fairly empty, so you just snag up a cupcake from yesterday and bite into it.

>You turn back, set on returning to your cabin.

>”Morning, Anonymous... We see you are enjoying some sweets...”

 

>You turn to one of the booths, spotting the Night Princess sitting about lazily.

“Uh... Yes. Just a cupcake, don’t worry.”

>”We are not worried about what foods thy consume. We were simply making an observation.”

“You sound tired.”

>You take a seat across from her. She indeed looks quite tired, with what appears to be bags under her eyes clearly present.

>She yawns. “Mmm, yes indeed. We will retire soon...”

>She reaches over to you from across the table, trying to take your hands in her hooves.

>She frowns when you don’t return the gesture. Too bad, Luna.

>She retracts her hooves, looking out the nearby window. The sun has just begun to rise.

>”Anonymous, why do you prefer the company of Chrysalis to us?”

>Oh good. And here you thought you’d never get to use that bomb defusing course you took.

“Luna, I enjoy the company of both of you.”

>”Then why do you choose her as your mate and not us? What does she have that we do not?”

>You frown, pointing an accusing finger at her.

“Now hold on a second. Chrysalis and I are not in that kind of relationship. We’re friends, nothing more.”

>”Yet thou argue like a married couple. Am I to truly believe there is nothing going on between you?”

“Yep.”

 

>She rolls her eyes, “Thy still avoids our other inquiries, Anonymous.”

“Oh really? Well ask away, fair princess. I’ve got all day.”

>You sarcastically lean back in your seat, giving her your best ‘Look how few fucks I give right now’ look.

 >”Thy has not told us what she has that we do not.”

“Hm. Well I suppose she can transform into things.”

>Luna lets out a sharp ‘Ha!’ and her horn begins to glow. Uh...

>In a bright flash of blue, the Princess of the night is gone. In her place sits her sister, Princess Celestia.

>Or is it?

“Hm. Nice trick. Might want to work on the size though.”

>”What does thou refer too?” You roll your eyes. She doesn’t seem to realize she’s shorter than the normal Celestia. At least she has the voice right.

“Either way, that doesn’t really matter. Like I said, I have no favourites when it comes to my friends.”

>In another flash, Luna is restored. “Oh really? Then why is it Rainbow Dash is your ‘bro’ and none other shares such a title?”

“Because she’s a bro, which is different from a friend.”

>”In what way?”

“You wouldn’t understand if I tried to explain it, Luna. Don’t strain yourself.”

 

>She grunts, heading off angrily. Whelp. No royal weddings anytime soon.

>You finish your cupcake and head back to your room.

>Unfortunately you forget that Ditto is asleep, closing the door loud enough to disrupt his sleep.

>”Huh? What is...?” He turns to you.

“Morning Ditto. How are you feeling?”

>He shifts slightly, still fairly tired. “Somewhat better, I suppose. You?”

“I’m fine. How’s your friend down there?”

>He raises an eyebrow, not understanding. He looks downward and immediately knows what you’re talking about.

>”...I hate it when this happens...”

“I know that feel.”

>There’s an awkward pause. Ditto raises up the covers taking a peak at himself. He looks back up to you.

“...So uh, how long are you usually like that?”

>He blushes, a rare thing for the stoic officer. “Er... Usually until I uh...”

“Oh. Right. Bathroom’s down the hall.”

>You take a seat back on your bed, Ditto quickly buzzing away to deal with his morning wood.

>You glance at the clock. Barely even seven. This would be a long trip.