Anon and Chrysalis Ch 10

The Marvellous Mishaps of Anon and Chrysalis

Chapter 10: Slavic Women are superior to non-Slavic Women

 

>Morning dawns on another fantastic day in the magical land of Equestria.

>As Celestia's pesky light floods into your vision you groan. That shit was far too bright.

>Seriously, for a solar diety, she isn't very good at turning down one fucking dial. You sigh, sitting up.

>However, something is not right. A number of somethings actually. For one, you are now much shorter, your feet not reaching the edge of your bed.

>You attempt to wiggle said feet, but nothing happens. Perhaps they are asleep?

>A logical guess, you conclude. Yawning, you bring a hand up to scratch your neck. But there is another issue.

>You don't have any hands. It takes a second to realize this, but when you see it...

"AGH!"

>Jumping up you fall out of bed, clumping down onto the floor beside you. You try to get up, but fall over once more.

>From your fancy perch, you take a look at yourself. While your clothing was intact, you now had four legs, each headed by a large hoof. You could feel a tail rubbing against your left hind, trapped inside your jeans.

>You groan. This was definitely /not/ how you planned on starting your day...

 

>After almost twenty minutes of falling on your face, ass and every other part of your body, you had managed to stand stable.

>Another ten minutes was all it took to be able to walk.

>And then another fifteen to get your shirt off, revealing your fancy new green wings. Pegasus, huh?

>Hopefully you'd be able to fix this before Rainbro arrived. She'd probably try to get you to fly or something.

>Thinking it through, it'd be best if none of your usual pony pals saw you like this. It would cause quite the shitstorm, you could already tell.

>Especially for Fluttershy. She'd most likely try to justify mating with her. And that time you would have no valid reason to say no.

>But fuck validation, you do who you want. Cute or not, she was too possessive for her own good.

>Regardless you managed to get up, beginning an epic trek towards your doorway.

>However, now standing before the great wall of wood, you see a problem.

>How exactly would you turn the knob without any fingers?

>That was a very good question, Mr. Brain.

>Yes Anonymous. It is. Good luck.

>However, before you could start work on dismantling your entryway, a loud scream rang out.

>Was that Chrysalis?

 

>You got your answer when the sound of furious stomping permeated through your hallway.

>Yep. Definitely Chrysalis. Who else could be that mad?

>Unfortunately, not using common sense due to being busy with your door, you were smacked across the room when it flung open into your face. Ow.

>"Anonymous, what the hell is /this/?" You can hear her breathing heavily. She mad.

>Rubbing your head, you eventually open your eyes, gazing upon what would probably be your demise. Except Chrysalis wasn't in the room.

>In her place was a rather skinny white woman. And by woman, you meant human.

>The human had long turqoise hair, styled pretty much exactly like Chrysalis' mane. She, as most humans did, lacked a tail.

>She was also completely naked, exposing various parts you had not seen in a long time. At least not from your species.

>As such, instead of giving her a valid response, you end up staring at her chest. Not as big as you generally prefered, but they were there.

>She seemed to be doing a bit of the same to you, actually. Except you're wearing clothes.

>"...Anonymous? Why are you a Pegasus?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Except well... About being a human instead."

>She looks herself over a bit, "Mmm, yes. This is... strange." She gropes one of her new breasts curiously.

>Trying to ignore the growing whyboner you suggest, [spoiler][/spoiler]"Perhaps we should call up Ditto?"

>She nods, letting it go. "I suppose that will do for now."

 

>She turns to head out and good find Ditto, but you calling out halts her advance. She turns back to you,

>"Hm? What is it Anonymous?" You gesture to her bare chest.

>She looks down perplexed. "I do not follow. What is the issue?"

"Don't you think you should put on some clothes?"

>She raises an eyebrow at you, "Not particularily. Why?"

>Shit bro. How will you explain this to her?

"Uh... Well it's um... Heh..."

>Think of something damnit!

>Your brain groans under pressure, I'm trying! I'm trying-Aha!

"Don't you find it uh... Cold? Humans don't have coats and stuff... Yeah. You should layer up. Quickly."

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes at your antics, "Hmph. I am quite fine, Anonymous. Now, if you'll exucse me..."

>She turns towards the hallway, taking in a deep breath and then,

>"DITTO!"

>You wince at the loud screech. She had only used that much volume a few times before; it wasn't fun for anyone.

>Somehow, Ditto heard her from deep in the tunnels, running all the way to your room. He pants, attempting to catch his breath.

>He looks up at you and Chrysalis. It was definately a sight to behold.

 

>After a very long pause, Ditto speaks.

>"Uhm... Queen Chrysalis? Is this a new transformation...?"

>Chrysalis shakes her head impatiently, "No. This is some sort of stupid spell. And I want it broken. Now."

"That, I can agree with. Ditto, cast a... something to make it go away."

>Ditto blinks, not really getting it. "Anonymous? What..." He shakes his head, "I think it is better if I do not ask. Lets see..."

>Ditto's horn lights up the usual Changeling green. A flowing bolt flies out striking you. You feel it sink into your skin, soothing minor irritations throughout your form. Closing your eyes, you relax as the wave subsides.

>You open your eyes. Unfortunately, you were still a pony. Blast.

>Chrysalis glares at Ditto, likely for not trying to on her first, but says nothing. Ditto frowns, thinking.

>"Hm. That spell should have repaired any minor wounds and broken any hexes or other spells afflicting you. This is... bad."

>Chrysalis throws up her hands in dismay, "Oh yes! Fantastic! Whelp, guess now I'm Queen of the Humans for good now! Of course!"

>You place a hoof onto your chin (with some difficulty,) thinking. How did this even happen?

>Wait. The Muffins. Something was weird about those muffins.

"I think I know what is the cause of our... interesting state."

>The duo look at you expectantly.

 

>Eventually you had explained everything fully. They seemed to buy it at least partially.

>Now, you sit in your living room, highly uncomfortable. As you couldn't cook without hands to grasp objects, you had to suffice with some fruit.

>Despite you and the Queen's troubled state, she still seemed keen on messing with you. It didn't help that she had realized why you were so uncomfortable and she was keen on milking it for all it was worth.

>Speaking of milking, Chrysalis was having fun groping her new breasts. You did your best to not give her any attention. It was bad enough already.

>Ditto had called upon a squad of Change Marines to fetch Derpy. He sat in his usual spot, half watching the TV, half watching his Queen.

>At least you didn't have the only hardon in the room. Haha.

>Chrysalis streches her arms, starting to get the hand of the human form. You were not so lucky with your Equine body, unable to control your wings, which have been fully extended since seeing Chrysalis.

>Yawning, Chrysalis gives you a sly smile, "You know, Anonymous, I never knew your kind had such /large/ mammaries. These things are quite something."

>You nod, trying to tune her out. Ditto shudders, looking away.

>It didn't take a brain surgeon to know he likes what he sees.

>She giggles, refocusing as the comercial break ends. Those damn marines sure were taking their sweet time...

 

>An hour passed before any sign of the marines.

>You were glad to hear the door knock, as Chrysalis had been trying to get you to sit on her lap so she could pet you.

>That was Grade A, unfiltered nope right there. Ditto buzzs off with you, Chrysalis remaining in her seat, watching another Dog Padgent.

>Hopefully, she would not ask you to get her a dog. That was where you drew the line.

>Approaching the door, you stop a few paces away. Ditto raise an eyebrow at this,

"Your troops? Go let them in."

>Shrugging he complies opening the door for his troopers. The heavily armored brutes walked in, Derpy on the back on one of them.

>Something was not right with Derpy, however. She was hurt. Badly hurt.

>From your poor vantage point, you could see she had a black eye, what seemed to be a twisted wing, and a number of hoof shaped bruises litering her form.

>Safe to say, you were not happy with the sight before you.

>Ditto was uneasy at Derpy's injuries as well, but said nothing of them. "I see you're back. Bring her to the living room."

>They nod, moving in. You stand in the way of one them, glaring at him. Relax Anonymous. Keep your cool...

"Get my First Aid Kit from the bathroom upstairs. Now."

>The Marine snorts, saying nothing. However, he breaks off from his group, wings buzzing as he flies upstairs to fetch the kit.

 

>You enter in after them, the human Chrysalis raising an eyebrow at Derpy's battered body.

>She was clearly giving a fuck about this. Hm. Maybe Celestia is right about you having an effect on her.

>They toss her down into your armchair, she landing haphazardly on it. She would have fallen off eventually, but you snatch her up before she can.

>As the third soldier returns with the kit, they uniformly bow in respect. "We have obtain the one known as 'Derpy', as you commanded."

>You snort, anger growing. Did they not care at all?

>Chrysalis frowns, "Yes. I noticed. And she's fairly injured at that. What happened?"

>The central marine, possibly the squad leader, spoke, "As we approached the position, we were threatend with what we believe are the muffins she used on yourself. We took necessary actions to disable the pony before she could cause us or anyp0ny else any harm."

"Necessary action? So you beat the shit out of her for offering you a god damn muffin? What the hell is wrong with you?"

>Everyone glances to you, Chrysalis and Ditto rather shocked at your outburst.

>"You are not familiar with Change Marine protocol, clearly. You would not underst-"

"I understand that if a friendly pony offers you something, that you can say no without any issue. Well congratulations, you definitely disabled her! You realize this mare is one of only two ponies who delivers mail in this city? She's not exactly going to be flying on this wing anytime soon."

>"She is an enemy of the Swarm. Had you not explicit requested she be brought back in one piece-"

"I'm not doing this shit right now. Get out of my fucking house, and give me my First Aid kit. I'm going to fix your mess up for you. Your god damn welcome."

 

>You take a few deep breaths as your demands sink in.

>If you had beeen thinking things through, you'd realize it would probably a bad idea to almost scream at a trio of heavily armored Changeling soldiers.

>But you had absolutely not fucks to give. This was your house and your friend.

>You would not have them anywhere where they could cause more harm.

"Well? I said get out."

>The so called leader narrows his eyes at you dangerous. The right one seems about to pull out whatever weapon he had sheathed away.

>"You heard him, Marines. Leave us."

>You glance to Chrysalis, who's arms were crossed. The disappointed look she gave her troops seemed to shatter their resolves. They shuffle out.

>As they leave, one hovers the First Aid kit to you. It lands softly, to your surprise. You expected them to be pretty mad. Guess not.

>You turn to Chrysalis, smiling.

"Thank you for that. Now, lets fix up Derpy?"

>As you try to move the mare, she stirs. She opens her eyes...

 

>...And while only one actually focuses on you, she still smiles.

>"Oh... Hello Mister. Are the big bug ponies gone...?" Her words are slow as she full awakens.

"Yes Derpy. I got rid of them. They aren't going to hurt you anymore."

>She smiles brightly, "My hero!" She quickly leans in, planting a soft kiss onto your lips. Wait what?

>Your eyes go wide from her touch. You pull back, flustered beyond belief. And to think, your Wingboner was actually subsiding too...

"Derpy, what are you doing?"

>She blushes, letting out her bubbly giggle, "Thanking my saviour of course! I don't think we've met, what's your name? You already know I'm Derpy!"

>She smiles, but winces as she tries to move her wings. You grab hold of her, keeping her stable.

"Ditto. First Aid. Now."

>The nods, magically opening the kit. You lack much (Read: Any) first aid knowledge, so you let Ditto handle the bandages. By the time he's through, Derpy would pass as a lightly dressed mummy. She manages to muscle through all the applications. What a trooper.

>She stands uneasily in front of your chair. Her wings are pretty much fused to her sides.

>"How do I look, Mister?" You sigh. She still didn't know who you were.

 

>Within ten minutes though, she was enlightened to your plight. She was pretty embarassed to learn she had kissed her good friend Anonymous.

>If only all the mares in your life were so reserved... You sigh. Derpy had taken up a seat beside you, resting somewhat on top of you. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world, but you tolerated it.

>She explained that the Change Marines had pretty much smashed her house to pieces. Holes in walls, broken windows, the works.

>Chrysalis assured her that her home would be repaired out of her pocket, which Derpy was extremely grateful for. Being a mailmare probably didn't pay all that well.

>But soon enough, you got to the important part. The Blue Muffins.

>"Blue Muffins? Ooh, like Blueberry?" You shake your head,

"No. These had these weird blue leaves inside them, not blueberries. They tasted awful too."

>Chrysalis grunts, "I for one, enjoyed them."

>You ignore her, continuing, [spoiler][/spoiler]"Fluttershy gave them to us, saying you were trying out a new recipe. I take it this is not the case?"

>Derpy frowns in thought, "Well, I was trying a new recipe. But it was a multiple berry mixture, not blue leaves. Weird. Why do you think she'd lie to you?"

>She smiles innocently. If only she knew.

 

>Getting up, you decide to go pay the cursed Fluttershy another visit. This time it was personal.

>Derpy gets up, standing beside you. Ditto soon joins you. You all turn to the nude human on your couch.

>"I suppose I'd better come too. She probably has an antidote, after all." She stands, arms crossed. "I have first dibs, by the way. I /am/ royalty, you know."

>You clear your throat before she takes even three steps. She turns to you, irritated.

>"What is it?" You point to her form, hoof starting from her crotch before you move it to her chest. "Mhm? What about them? It's nothing you haven't seen before, Anonymous."

"Yeah, I'd rather not have to deal with a boner right now. Put on one of my jackets. This is not negotiable."

>Derpy blushes at your mention of your insufferable rod. One of her eyes glances precariously towards your crotch, but a look from you refocuses them both on you. "Heh... Sorry."

>Chrysalis sighs, exasperated, "Fine Mr. Human. I'll do you this one favor." She walks towards your closet but stops before it.

>She turns back, striking a sexy pose, "But you know you want me." She winks.

>You shudder. Your jimmies had already been violated and it wasn't even 11am.

 

>Chrysalis had chosen (by your recommendation (Read: Demands)) your largest jacket, a trenchcoat you had worn only once before. She looked a good deal like one of those flasher fellows, but you didn't have time to go get something else.

>Exiting your home, you take a scenic route to Fluttershy's cottage. You would not be going anywhere near Ponyville unless you absolutely had too.

>Friends in tow, you made good time, reaching the cottage within the hour. As it was a monday, the CMC were at school, and wouldn't be able to pester you until at least the afternoon.

>Hopefully your new fortifications would suffice. Your jimmies had suffered enough already.

>You reach the door, awkwardly lining yourself up with it. You kick out with your hind legs, knocking it wide open.

>A potato flies out, but Ditto catches it midair, crushing it into mash. Angel attempts to reload but is grabbed and strangled by Ditto, who held him up into the air.

>He brought him over to him, glaring, "Where is Fluttershy? You will tell us."

>Angel weakly points to the kitchen, Ditto dropping him after a nod from yourself.

>Derpy is slightly worried by the recent events but follows you in.

 

>Fluttershy is sitting in her kitchen, reading a newspaper. She has a soft smile on her face, though it is a bit uneasy.

>She sighs, her voice much deeper than normal. Hmph.

"Fluttershy, you will tell me what you fed us last night and you will give us the antidote. Now."

>She jumps a bit from your voice. She was not expecting company

>"Anonymous? What are you doing here?" Her voice is actually pretty masculine. If you weren't so angry, you'd burst into laughter at it.

"Answer the fucking question, Fluttershy. This is not a joke."

>She shrinks a bit, "I don't know what you are talki-"

>Ditto growls, "If you were inside one of the Hives, you would be tried for treason and for endangering the royalty. The charges of such crimes are death. Now tell us the truth."

>She pales, gulping, "Okay... I put uh... Poison... Joke in t-the muffins. I thought it'd-"

"It doesn't matter what you thought. What is the cure?"

>She shrinks further at your approach, "A bath..." She lacks the usual seductive grin. "T-Twilight knows the r-recipe! Please don't hurt me..."

>You blink, anger subsiding. You sigh. Fucking Fluttershy.

 

>Leaving her home, you quickly trek back to your house.

>Now loitering about your front door you quickly come up with a simple plan. Ditto would go to Twilight, explain what happened, then bring Twilight here.

>She'd run this 'bath' you'd be cured, and everything would be well in the world again.

>Or at least, that was the plan. Ditto salutes before flying off on his mission. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long.

>Being a pony was not your style.

>However, before you could return to your home, a new issue made itself apparent, as a large Changeling landed in front of you.

>It's form was reminiscent of Chysalis' natural state, but it's mane was different, shaggy and rough. It took the shape of one of your good friend's manes actually...

>And it even had her red eyes. No... It couldn't be...

>"Anonymous? Can you tell me what the fuck is going on?"

>It could be. Rainbro...

>Was now a Changeling Queen.

 

>Not one to sit about outside, you usher her inside. Chrysalis seems quite unhappy at her form.

>Entering your living room once more, Rainbro takes a seat where Ditto normally sat. She lacked her usual cocky smile. She was not happy.

>Chrysalis is first to speak, "Rainbow... For the record, you can't pull that look off. Just saying."

>Rainbro rolls her eyes, unamused, "Yeah whatever miss... human girl! I don't really care. I just want my body back."

"Well, we have Ditto going to get the antidote right now."

>Rainbro lets out a sigh of relief. "Good. The sooner I'm a Pegasus again, the better. This is too freaky." She shakes a hoof questioningly, turning to Chrysalis "Especially these holes. What's up with that anyway?"

>Chrysalis grunts, "You wouldn't understand."

>Derpy smiles brightly, getting an idea, "Maybe they're used for mating rituals!"

>Everyone looks at her, completely lost. Even to you that seemed farfetched.

>Derpy frowns, "'Cause I saw that Ditto's leg holes are bigger, and when you fly it makes a noise, so it lets boy Changelings find girl Changelings from the sound."

>Slowly everyone nods. Well that kind of made sense. Though considering even Chrysalis isn't certain about it, you figure it'd be best not take it at face value.

>At least not until you've had a chance to research it.

 

>You decide to watch some shows. Despite your objections, Derpy remains in her position beside you. Your chair wasn't built for so many ponies, making it rather cramped.

>Also to your dismay, Chrysalis took off your trenchcoat as it was getting too warm for her. She then proceeded to show off her breasts to Rainbro, who was actually impressed by their size. Ugh.

>It was almost an hour before Ditto managed to get back. As you open the door, you spot Twilight and those two Spa ponies beside her.

>As well as a large wagon. It held a small tub and a basket full of various herbs. That must be cure.

>Twilight smiles nervously at you, probably trying to figure out who you are, "Um... Hello?"

"Hi Twilight. We're right inside."

>You turn back, leading the way. Twilight seems relieved to have gotten to the right home.

>Entering they spot the Changeling Queen and Rainbro, who were having a discusion about irrelevant things. They perk up at Twilight's shaky greeting.

>You walk in, taking your seat beside Derpy once more.

"Alright, you girls get set up and then Chrysalis here will go first."

>She smiles at you, somewhat excited. She definitely wants to get her holes back, that much is certain.

 

>The mares get to work, setting up the bubble bath. It only takes a little while.

>Twilight sits beside the changeling Rainbow Dash, more than a tad worried. At least she still had the mighty rainbro to protect her. Maybe.

>Derpy was still lean up into you, eternally grateful for you saving her life. You decide to just roll with it, since it would be far too time consuming to convince her otherwise.

>At least she wasn't trying to grope you. Or herself. Fucking Chrysalis...

>Regardless, it was her turn for the bath. She gets up, walking towards the warm pool of water. Aloe and Lotus, the Spa twins don't show any interest in her appearance.

>You figure they're probably used to being around naked things. Haha.

>Chrysalis steps into the water, sitting down in the tub. While small, she manages to get in completely. She looks at the sisters impatiently,

>"Alright, now what?" They smile at her,

>"Now, just relax. It will take a few minutes to take effect." The other one adds, "Also, I would dunk under for a few seconds, so the remedy gets to every part of you."

>They give a probably practiced smile to her. She grunts and complies.

 

>Ten minutes later, Chrysalis (now wrapped in a towel) was angrily berating Twilight for the remedy's failure. You, igonirng the developing shitfest, thought of what to do next.

>The so called "Anti Poison Joke" bath had failed. And but of course, that was the only remedy Twilight knew.

>Well, from what you've overheard, the bath worked when Twilight and friends walked through the Joke and got fucked up. But you /ate/ the joke.

>Obviously then, the effects were much stronger. Would explain the overnight metamorphosis.

>You clear your throat getting the attention of all the ponies in your living room. Except Aloe and Lotus, who are still packing up.

"Twilight, do you know who gave you this bath remedy? They might be able to help."

>Twilight blinks, "Well Zecora was the one who... Wait. Oh!" She facehoofs, "Oh why didn't I think of that sooner! Zecora will know!"

>Chrysalis rolls her eyes, "And who is this Zecora? I don't believe I've met this miracle mare you speak of."

>Twilight smiles, "Zecora's the Zebra who lives out in the Everfree Forest. She'll be able to help for sure."

>"Mhm." Chrysalis snaps her fingers, Ditto quickly fetching your trenchcoat as she gets up. "Well then. Lead the way."

 

>You've never been one to be opposed to the outdoors. Fresh air and sun were an important part of anyone's lifestyle, especially in such a beautiful land.

>But walking through Ponyville as a Pegasus with a Changeling Queen turned human and the world's now fastest Insect Pony was not on your to do list.

>Worse still, was the fact Lyra spotted your posy and started asking for every detail.

>Even worse than that, Derpy was keen to tell her every little detail. Hopefully she wouldn't try eating Poison Joke to become a human. That would be bad.

>...Though a part of you is curious to see if she'd be a bigger cup size than Chrysalis. You predict she would be.

>And those thoughts lead you to wonder if ponies even had bras. Considering that most went around completely naked, probably not.

>You take a note to ask someone about it later. Rainbro or Rarity preferred; Chrysalis would mock you and probably wouldn't even know.

>You are so deep in thought that you don't even realize your companions made a left turn. Blinking, you look to them.

>Rainbro rolls her eyes at you, "You can do your errands later, Anon. Come on!"

 

>Finally making it through the town, you stand before the entryway to the accursed Everfree Forest.

>Safe to say, you are not a regular visitor.

>While Twilight seems more or less completely fine with your trek in the woods, Ditto and most everyone else does not.

>Ditto especially. He's working in overdrive, accessing all the dangers that might lie before him. And there are a hell of a lot of them.

>"Twilight, you are certain this path is secure?"

>She nods, having been asked this three times already. You hadn't even entered the woods yet.

>Taking your first few steps inside the woods darkens your view considerably. At least Ditto had his built in night vision.

>Walking through the woods had your whole group on edge. The various trees wore disturbing expressions. You spot claw marks in one particularily large tree. Hopefully whatever wolf made the marks was asleep on a full stomach.

>Because nothing was worse than a hungry dog.

>Eventually you arrive at a strange hut in the woods. It wasn't actually that far in, so the chance of running into a horrible monster like a Manticore was comparably low.

>Regardless, neither you or Ditto were so keen to let your guard down quite yet. Especially considering your luck.

>There was always something to ruin your day.

 

>Twilight gives the group an affirmative nod then trots up to the hut. She knocks on it's door.

>A few seconds pass in silence as your group exchanges looks. Besides Derpy's cheerful grin, you all showed at least a little fear.

>However, before you could dwell on your worries an further the door opened, reveal the myserious Zecora.

>Unlike most of Ponyville's inhabitants, Zecora is a Zebra. She has a fantastic mowhawk that would make any biker jealous. You wonder if she jells it.

>"Twilight, how do you do? What brings you to my home so soon?"

>Twilight smiles nervously, "There's... Been a complication." She gestures towards your group. Zecora pokes her head out a bit more, looking you all over.

>She frowns, "Hm. These ponies are not familiar to me, but a problem I can clearly see."

>Chrysalis frowns, "Is that a fact? I wonder how you guessed." She rolls her eyes approaching the doorway, "Come Ditto."

>The commander buzzes over to her. You shrug and follow suit. Whatever was in her house was better than outside.

>Or at least you hope so.

>You walk inside last, the mares having all gone inside. You take a look around the makeshift hut.

>There's various african styled masks and other doodads all about. It makes you think of a witchdoctor of sorts from one of those bad movies.

>No sign of voodoo zombies though, so that's good at least. Though a neighcromancer wouldn't be keeping those sitting around, now would they?

>You take a seat on one of the cushions the Zebra had put out for you.

>Hopefully you fears would soon be put to rest. You didn't want to be any undead's lunch.

 

>Zecora takes a seat across from all of you. She turns to Twilight,

>"Now tell me, oh friend of mine, what dangers have harmed your friends this time?"

>Twilight opens her mouth to speak, but Chrysalis' impatience is going much faster.

>"An annoying little Pegasus thought it'd be funny to feed us Poison Joke. What's the cure?"

>Zecora's eyes go a bit wide. Great, now even the doctor is freaking out. She turns to Twilight who only nods sadly.

>"Poison Joke one should never consume, the herbs that purge it cannot get get through..." She sighs, trotting over to a shelf. She fetches a book from it.

>Placing it on the table before her, you all lean in to see what it contains. She turns though a few pages before stopping on a page with a red plant.

>"This plant you see destroys the Joke, but it's taste causes most to choke." You glance towards the title, silently wording it's name.

>The Kill Joy. Well, that was one way to end a party...

"And where do we get the Kill Joy?"

>Zecora sighs, "The Kill Joy grows in the Everfree, but not around this part, you see. To find the plant that you do need, further west you will need to be."

>Ditto, who had flown up to one of her cupboards a few seconds prior clears his throat, "Isn't this the plant you are talking about?"

>Everyone turns to the Commander, noting that indeed, Zecora had a small Kill Joy plant growing inside a pot.

>Zecora shakes her head, "That Kill Joy is not mature; the effects you desire cannot be sure!"

>Chrysalis however, doesn't care, "The plant Ditto, now!" He nods, magic picking up the potted flora.

 

>Zecora facehoofs, but doesn't object as the pot floats over to Chrysalis.

>She grabs the pot, breaking Ditto's magic grip. She takes hold of the plant at the base, ripping it out of it's protective soil.

>She takes a look at it, noting its red petals and other such devices. Shrugging, she stuffs it into her mouth.

>She slowly begins to chew the plant, Zecora nervously smiling at her. She cringes, "Ugh. This is terrible."

>Zecora slowly nods as Chrysalis continues to munch down on the red plant. She eventually does get through it though. She swallows.

>Wiping her mouth she turns to Zecora, "Well? How long will it take to turn me back?"

>Before Zecora can respond, though, a red magical circle appears on the ground below her. It rises up, similar to a changeling transformation.

>The magic engulfs the Queen who relaxes as it takes effect. The magical aura dissipates...

>Leaving Chrysalis pretty much exactly the same. She blinks, rage building. That wasn't good.

>Derpy taps her, "Look! You got your uh... Thing back!" She points towards her head.

>And indeed, the 'thing' that had always stuck out of Chrysalis' mane is back. At least we are making progress.

>Chrysalis glares at Zecora once again, "Why didn't it change me fully!"

>Zecora sighs, "How much joke have you eaten? Just one plant may not beat them."

 

>After explaining that she had eaten a shitload of Poison Joke, Zecora had led you back to town.

>You follow her into the Town Hall. Dispite your objections, Zecora took the most direct route.

>To your dismay, now the entire Main 6, save Fluttershy, is at your side, bombarding you and Rainbow Dash with questions.

>Chrysalis seems almost offended by their lack of attention to her. Though it doesn't last long.

>After soon chatter the mayor walks over to you all. The various conversations finally dead, the mayor speaks,

>"Anonymous, Rainbow Dash, Chrysalis... We're all terribly sorry about what happened to all of you. I'm placing an order right now for a whole crate of this 'Kill Joy' plant Zecora told me of, and I promise we'll have all of you back to normal in no time at all.

>You nod, uncertain. Things are rarely this simple.

>Rainbow smiles, "Thanks Mayor, that means a bunch." The mayor smiles back, adding,

>"And don't worry about anything with the weatherpatrol; you're excused from any duties until you're all better. Now then..."

>She clears her throat, turning to you, "Anonymous, do you know who fed you Poison Joke? We need to ensure this criminal is apprehended as soon as possible.

>Justice? I thought you'd never ask! You open your mouth to speak, but you are interrupted.

>By Fluttershy herself being thrown into the Town Hall, fairly pummeled. Uh... What?

>You all turn towards the doorway to find the same trio of Change Marines from that morning standing in the light, armor shining.

>"As you commanded, my Queen, we have apprehended the yellow one." Chrysalis grins. You sigh, pointing to Fluttershy on the ground.

"She did it."

 

>You sit on your chair, back home at last. The day hadn't gone exactly as planned, but that's alright. You got free muffins.

>Turns out Derpy has a number of connections. You glance over to her. Still sharing your seat, with that goofy grin. Ugh, the things you do for ponies...

>Things are much like they were that morning; Ditto is sitting on guard/embarassed, Rainbro is reclining and messing with her new holes and Chrysalis is groping her 'absurdly large mammaries' while making leud suggestions at you.

>Except now you also have Lyra jealously staring at Chrysalis' everything, Twilight reading a book on your carpet, Rarity taking measurements in the event she needs to make female human clothing, Pinkie Pie generating sweets out of a black hole or some shit and Applejack gazing at Derpy, probably wishing she had her seat.

>All in all, it had been a pretty good day. You blink as Derpy pulls you into yet /another/ friendly hug. You turn to face her, but the poor angle stops you from looking at her face to face,

>"Hehe... Anon, you are so soft as a Pegasus. It's really weird." Um... Okay?

>She lets go of you, leaning back. She sighs, looking at you seriously.

>"So um... Anon. You saw my house right?" You nod, having passed it on the way back home.

"It's pretty wrecked, isn't it?"

>She nods back, looking down. "Uh... Well... Would I be able to stay here with Dinky? I know it's alot to ask but I-"

"It's a bit crowded, Derpy. Can't you go to like a Hotel?"

>Derpy shrinks down a bit, looking away. Did being a mailmare serious pay that bad?

 

>You sigh, putting a hoof onto her shoulder. She looks up at you, both eyes on you.

>She blushes, "Uh... Anonymous? Please? I can pay rent! I promise!" She smiles desperately at you.

>Yep, being a mailmare sucked ass.

"Derpy, it's fine. You can stay until your house is put back together. It's fine, I'll uh... Clear out that Storage Room I don't use."

>You get up, she right behind. You walk into your kitchen, passing through it to the other room. Your storage room.

>You push open the door, walking inside. A bit of dust floats off into the air. How long has it been since you last went in here?

>You spot a few boxes littering the room. Besides them, there's nothing else in here.

"Uh... You can stay in here. Hm. Guess you'll need like... A bed. Huh."

>You turn to Derpy, who shakes her head, "No no, the couch is fine!" She smiles gratefully.

>Yeah, okay then. You walk back to the living room with her. She's leaning up a bit closer than usual, but whatever.

>She stops you at the doorway, "But Anon, seriously, I can't just freeload off of you. That isn't right." She frowns in focus, though her eyes aren't cooperating with her words.

>"So um... Just let me know how much I owe you. And if you ever need any help with something..." She looks away blushing, "Just let me know."

>...Oh god, did she just...?

>Yes, Anon. She did. Fuck.

>She walks in past you, sitting back onto the couch.

 

>You join her eventually sighing. At least Derpy was offering, not demanding. You couldn't have another Fluttershy.

>Especially not one who lived downstairs. You glance over to your clock. 6:30 or so.

>You look over to Ditto who was eyeing Lyra carefully. Lyra's frustated expression could be interperted in a number of ways.

"Hey, Ditto. You think you could do me a favor?"

>His ears perk at your mention of him. Reluctantly, he redirects his gaze over to you, "I suppose. What is it you needed?"

>You give him a smile, albeit a forced one, [spoiler][/spoiler]"I need another bed. Think you could have your troopers bring one up?"

>Derpy gasps, "What? But I thought I was-"

"Dinky needs a bed, doesn't she?"

>Derpy frowns, thinking. Slowly she nods. However, you had inadvertantly alerted everyone else about you master plan.

>Chrysalis raises an eyebrow, swatting away a curious hoof from Lyra, "Dinky? Who's that and why do I not like this plan?"

>You roll your eyes as the mother mares put the pieces together. Unlike Chrysalis, they are quite aware of who Dinky is. Rainbro speaks up first,

>"Anon? Since when did you have a third bedroom?" You shrug. Since now, bro.

>Ultimately they seem happy to know Derpy has a place to live. Perhaps everything would work out in the end.

>That just left one question. You turn to Derpy, who has begun munching on a cupcake from Pinkie,

"So, where's Dinky at anyway?"

 

>An hour later, you had successfully obtained Dinky Hooves.

>The poor thing was wandering door to door, looking for her mother. How touching.

>She now sat on top of said mother, who was sitting on her back in your armchair. You consider telling Derpy to move, but you can't be bothered.

>You glance to Applejack, who was watching you from afar. She quickly looks away.

>"Alright, fine. Just one touch."

>Clearly you hadn't been paying enough attention to Chrysalis. She sighs, reclining somewhat.

>Lyra nervously places a hand on her right breast, poking it. "It's so... Soft."

>You just stare, dumbfounded. Hi, I'm Anonymous, and what is this?

>Lyra continue to prod the mass of tissue. For fuck sakes, you have a marefriend at home with the same fucking things. Go touch hers!

>You appear to be jelly, Anonymous.

>Brain, go jump off a motherfucking bridge. This is my house. No lesbian sex will occur in it or so help me god.

>You really need to find a better way to justify your actions.

>Fuck you, I do what I want!

"Uh, Lyra? There's a child in the room."

>She blinks, looking to Dinky, who is oblivious. Slowly she retracts her appendage, blushing madly.

>Chrysalis wears a smug expression, "You liked that, didn't you. You naughty, naughty mare."

>She shrinks down, blush deepening, "Just don't tell Bonbon, okay?"

 

>Chrysalis laughs, "Alright Lyra. Your secret is safe with me." She places a hand onto her chest to emphasize her point.

>Rainbro chuckles, eyes not leaving the show that was on, "It's not safe with me though. I wonder how Bonbon will react when I tell her..."

>Lyra gasps. She glares at Rainbro, "No! Don't tell her! She'll use the... look, just don't, please."

"We aren't going to tell her, calm yourself."

>You lean back in your chair. Dinky looks over to you, smiling. She was a pretty adorable kid, that much is certain.

"Well, unless you piss us off, that is."

>Lyra gulps, nodding. Item Get! Blackmail!

>Rarity sighs, having sketched out a basic dress. "Chrysalis, dear, what colors do you like? I want to make sure everything is just right."

>Chrysalis raises an eyebrow, uncrossing her legs as she leans over to look at Rariy's sketching, "I wasn't aware you were actually going to make me a dress..."

>Rarity gives her an incredulous look, "But darling of course I am! I'll be the first Pony designer in the world to make Changeling royalty an outfit! I /cannot/ pass up such an opportunity!"

>Chrysalis smiles, leaning back, "Well if that's the case, then black, green, blue and..." She grips some of her hair, smiling, "...this Turqoise."

>Rarity nods, thinking. She smiles, an idea coming to her.

>Satisfied, she whips out some colored pencils out of... somewhere and starts testing various color schemes.

>You aren't sure you like the idea of Chrysalis having specifically made human clothes. She'd have an excuse to keep turning into it.

>You knew quite well your body couldn't handle her flashing you for much longer.

 

>Regardless, everyone had fled within the hour. You sigh, Derpy having put Dinky to bed earlier.

>Ditto's forces are pretty good at moving furniture about, what can you say?

>Chrys is leaning back, a quill in hand. Ditto passes her the parchment she requested.

>You find it interesting how all her parchment has those black and green accents on them. Well then.

"Writing a letter to the Princess? What's this one about?"

>She smiles deviously, "You'll see..."

>She starts to write down on the sheet, her handwriting probably much poorer with her lack of dexterity using hands.

>She finishes writing and rolls up the letter. She chucks it haphazardly to your general direction. It bounces off of Derpy's head, landing in your lap.

>You, with some difficulty, open it up. You clear your throat, and begin.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

I am happy to report that I have learned another key lesson here in Ponyville! Today I have learned of the dangers of accepting free food from ponies you don't trust. While they may seem nice and cuddly on the outside, and the food can taste heavenly, sometimes bad things are put inside the muffins for vague reasons. Thus, from now on I will have my commander or other minions test all food thouroughly before I eat it.

Sincerely,

Your superior student, Queen Chrysalis the First.

P.S. I recommend you head over to Fluttershy's some time in the future! She has invented a new type of muffin, and I know you'd love them! You should bring all of your friends too."

>You look to Chrysalis, who is holding in a laugh.

>Fucking Royalty...