Title:           Mares go their own way
Author:          HeliAnon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/vYAg8B3P
First Edit:      Monday 1st of May 2017 09:59:33 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 1st of May 2017 09:59:33 PM CDT

>”Because mares are tired of being nothing but punching bags for self-centered stallions.”
>Today you decided to venture outside.
>You chose poorly.
>All you wanted to do was go food shopping and ended up in the middle of some rally.
>”Girls why don’t we just calmly talk about this?”
>And there was Twilight, trying her very best to peacefully resolve the situation.
>But judging by the looks on the other mares faces, it was not working.
>”I have to pay my ex-husband alimony all because he couldn’t keep his cock in his sheath, how’s that for calm!”
>You tried getting away from the gaggle, but being a tall man in a world of knee high horses let you see things.
>Like the fact that you were literally surrounded with no room for escape.
>”And he’s about the worst homewrecker here.”
>What?
>You knew that voice.
>Bon Bon, queen bitch extrodinaire.
>She stood there all high and mighty pointing her hoof at you.
>”All I come home to everyday is Lyra obsessing over his freakishness.”
>A chorus of “boos” tailed her statement and they were all directed at you.
>Fucking Bon Bon
>Just you wait for horse Christmas you candy making cunt, Santa is stopping by your house and shitting down your chimney.
>With no chance to even defend yourself from the angry stares and accusations, a chant started to form from within the crowd.
>”Mares go their own way!”
>”Mares go their own way!”
>You were never going outside again.
 
>First came the rally.
>The mares chanting that they were sick of stallions always taking advantage of them.
>To top it off, once you actually got to the market, you found out they sold out of nearly all the stuff you needed.
>You were pissed then.
>Now you’re just mad.
>And god help happy horseland when an borderline autistic human with no means to make himself some din din is mad.
>It was time to do something about it.
>Hitting the top of the sign with a mallet, you made sure it would stay in place by driving it further into the ground.
>Fucking ponies and their deranged concepts.
>And fuck Bob Bon especially.
>”Hi there neighbor- what’s with the sign?”
“Just read it Lyra, it’s self explanatory.”
>”’Private property, No mares allowed under any circumstances.’ I don’t get it.”
“Nothing to get Lyra, my week has been shit and this is my perfectly reasonable response.”
>”You’re being silly. How about you come over to my place and I fix you something to eat?”
>”He most certainly will not. I’m not having him stink up our home.”
>Speak of the she devil and she’ll appear.
>Bon Bon, as if sensing that her very presence would serve as a means to piss you off further trotted up by her “roommate”
>”I thought we talked about this Lyra. You need to knock off this weird fascination with him.”
“Listen to the witch Lyra, I may hate her more than an alcoholic hates water, but she has a point.”
>”Shut up monkey, I don’t need your input on this.”
>So much hate.
>Bon Bon oblivious to the sign by which she trotted past, came right up to you.
>”If you have any sense at all you would realize that I was having a conversation with her.”
>She poked your shin with her hoof to emphasize her point.
“Candy ass, you have all of three seconds to get out of my yard.”
>”Or what?”
 
>”Bucking monkey always sticking his- ouch! Careful Lyra.”
“Sorry.”
>You were applying to the cooling slave to Bonnie’s flanks, right in the spot where he…
>Damn you Bon Bon.
>Had you known that the end result of going on Anon’s property was him using his hands like that, you would have done it sooner.
>”I told you he was trouble, now will you listen to me and stay away from him?”
 
>Your morning was just as uneventful as morning should be.
>A bowl of cereal, some coffee, and the local paper.
>Brush your teeth, shave, and put the mask on.
>All was right in your world.
>That was, until you set out and towards the fence.
>Just beyond it, sitting awkwardly was a hastily put together stall selling candies and treats.
>And it was being run by Lucifer- er Bon Bon.
“This has to be a trap.”
>”Good morning Anon.”
>No insults or threats against your well being?
“This has to be a trap. What are you plotting?”
>Smiling Bon Bon dismissed your misgivings as to her ulterior motives with a laugh.
>”Not planning anything at all, just thought I’d set up a stall and sell come off my fine confections here.”
“In front of my house?”
>That smile never left her face and boy was it ever unnerving.
>”That’s right, care to try one?”
>Your gut told you to run, this was a trap, it had to be.
>She probably laced those candies with something.
“I think I’ll pass.”
>”You sure? They’re pretty good.”
>Not happening, your dad always told you and your brother to not take candy from odd individuals.
>You listened, your brother Incognito did not, and where did it get him? He got abducted by a travelling circus.
“I have to go.”
>Walking as fast as your legs would carry you, you hightailed it out of there.
>The whole time feeling Bon Bons eyes boring into your back.
>She was acting weird- weirder than usual.
>That is to say not like a total cunt.
>You don’t know why, but that scared the ever living shit out of you.
 
>Horseapples, you were sure this was going to work.
>Channeling the magic into your horn you let the disguise fall.
>Your coat changed from the creamy color back to its natural mint green.
>Bonnie probably wouldn’t be too happy that you were impersonating her, but it was for a good cause.
>Anon would see that she wasn’t such a bad pony and if the two of them started getting along then you would be able to get that much closer to him.
>Now you would have to think up another plan.