Herr Panzermensch -- excerpts

INT. HUMVEE #2 – DAY

Buck is driving. Fredericksburg is sitting next to him. In the back are Dolph and Miller

 

FREDERICKSBURG

Okay, everybody; I know it’s a long drive but let’s not try to fall asleep on this one.

 

BUCK

I Can’t fucking wait to sleep.

 

 

MILLER

I just want to go stateside again

 

DOLPH

We’ve been here like a single day, you guys are such pussies

 

MILLER

Man, when I get back on leave, I’m gonna eat the shit out of my girlfriends pussy.

 

DOLPH

Silly cracker, tricks are for dicks

 

BUCK

Yeah, we’re supposed to believe you’ve even ever gotten laid?

 

Miller takes off his helmet and pulls out a photo taped to the inside and passes it forward. Fredericksburg takes it.

MILLER

Don’t believe me? That’s me and her at prom

 

Buck looks at the photo

BUCK

Hey Shaun, I think you’re girlfriend’s a whore.

 

MILLER

Just because she’s working at hooters doesn’t make her a whore, why does no one seem to get that?

 

FREDERICKSBURG

We’ve been here for three years. How is she still you girlfriend?

MILLER

Not all of us died in car-crashes. I write her like every month. Hell, my parents still think I’m deployed in Guam. Well, at least that was the cover story that Dominic came up with.

 

BUCK

(beat)

Hey, miller?

 

MILLER

YEAH?

 

BUCK

So why is there shit inside your girlfriends pussy?

 

 

-------

 

 

EXT. HUMVEE – NIGHT

 

Cohen and McKinley both lay on their backs; they pass a cigarette back and forth between them, each take a smoke as the other one speaks. They’re underneath one of the humvees so that the glowing tip of their cigarette won’t give away their position if there are any Iraqi scouts nearby.

 

COHEN

Peace in the Middle East? No I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon.

 

MCKINLEY

Really?

 

COHEN

Well look; we’re talking about peace in the Middle East, and we’re already in two different wars in the Middle East at the same time

 

MCKINLEY

Yeah, but think if we could set up a democracy here. You know, an actual democracy in the middle of this place; what that’d do for the region

 

COHEN

It won’t do a single thing if they hate each other. No democracy can really survive that. If you want peace in the Middle East, the only solution is education. look at the Jews and the Arabs; always dehumanizing each other with their propaganda, always saying that the other is insignificant because they believe in a different religion. Like I said, there’s only one thing that’s going to change this place, and that’s education, education, education.

 

MCKINLEY

Well if the problem is their differences, then I think I’ve got a solution. Why don’t we just invade everybody? I mean, we’re already in Iraq, so why stop there? We invade every country in the Mid East, we kill their leaders, and then convert them to Christianity

(beat)

And why not? I mean, if the problem is that they’re different, and we force them to all be the same, then there will be no more fighting between them. Peace.

 

COHEN

I know you’re from the south and all but that’s just…

 

MCKINLEY

I’m not being serious, I’m just being… you know…

 

COHEN

Hypothetical?

 

MCKINLEY

Yeah, that’s the word. My point is that these people are different from each other, and no amount of education will do anything other than teach them exactly how vastly different they are. Education won’t solve anything worth a darn. I mean, sometimes the more you understand something, the more you come to hate it because you come to learn exactly how alien it is from you and your own beliefs. But As far as Christians are concerned, think about what the good book says, that stuff that Jesus was always talking about. Love. The only thing that’s going to stop these people from hating each other, bring peace in the Middle East, is not education, it’s love.

 

----

 

 

 

INT. SHOWERS – NIGHT.

 

Fredericksburg is in front of his locker. He has his pants on without a shirt.

He looks behind him to see Jackson at his locker, fresh out of the shower, just wearing a loose towel.

 

FREDERICKSBURG

Jackson. We need to talk.

 

JACKSON

Do we now?

 

FREDERICKSBURG

Yes we do. What you did today was way out of bounds.

 

JACKSON

Oh no, I cut off some bastards ear. so what? I wanted it. You all wanted it. I was just the one that has the goddamn balls around here to do it. It's a taste of his own medicine. What is he gonna do, jonny, *sue* us? Our unit doesn't even officially exist, for fuck's sake.

 

FREDERICKSBURG

That’s not the point. We’re professional soldiers, not thugs. We don’t do that.

 

JACKSON

Soldiers? And how the fuck are we any different than ‘thugs.’

 

FREDERICKSBURG

We have a code, we have honor. We don’t cause unnecessary harm. We take care of our own. We never leave a man behind. We –

 

 

JACKSON

 Never leave a man behind? No matter what? That’s just stupid. What if he deserved it? That guy today, he got what he deserved.

 

FREDERICKSBURG

Well… I .

 

JACKSON

Can’t think of anything, can you, Jonny?

 

Jackson turns away and begins rummaging through his locker. Fredericksburg turns away for a second and then he swallows and clenches his fist

 

FREDERICKSBURG

I am you commanding officer and you will listen to me! You take my orders, understand? And you don’t ever call me Jonny; It’s Fredericksburg! We were all on edge about the torture mill today and about that dog, but at the end of the day, this wasn’t about that. You had to get your kicks in. You just wanted an excuse to cut somebody’s fucking ear off, didn’t you!

(beat)

Answer me!

 

JACKSON

Jonny… I’ve. Had. Enough.

 

Quick as a flash, Jackson grabs the knife out of his locker and leaps at Fredericksburg. his towel falls off and Jackson is naked, sitting atop Fredericksburg’s naked chest, putting him in a chokehold with one arm and holding the knife and Fredericksburg’s temple with the other.

 

JACKSON

Don’t call me Jonny. Only my friends can call me that. It’s Fredericskburg to you, mister

Oh, well I’m sorry, but isn’t gonna work that way, Joooooooooooooony-boy.

What? What’s the matter, Jooooooonny? Am I being mean? C’mon, order me to get off you. What’s that? That’s right; you’re shit, and you can’t make me do shit. You think ‘cause some fucking big shots slaps ‘officer’ on you and a pair of bars on your uniform that you deserve my respect?

 

Buck enters the showers

 

BUCK

Hey!

 

FREDERICKSBURG

Get off… Please. don't do this.

 

 

JACKSON

Now, Jonny, I want you to squeal. I want you to beg in front of me. Like that dog. C’mon. beg. Why, is someth—

 

Buck tackles into Jackson, knocking him off of Fredericksburg. They roll around for a sec and then both disengage, leaping away from each other, vying for the advantage in standing fight. But Jackson has it. He’s gotten a hold of his knife again, and he has it cocked and ready to throw at Buck. Buck sees it to, and knows that he’s completely at Jackson’s mercy. Jackson throws the knife – sideway, the tip embedding into one of the lockers. Jackson grabs his stuff and begins to leave towards Buck.

As he passes Buck, Jackson puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder and whispers into his ear.

 

JACKSON

I want you to remember this moment. What could have happened, and what didn’t.

 

Jackson let’s go of Buck’s shoulder and walks out making sure that he broadsides Fredericksburg with his shoulder on the way out.