Some Collection of Lyra Stories

>Pleasant afternoon

>No sign of Flutterslut or Applefucker

>Chilling with your bro, Rainbow Dash, in a coffee shop in Ponyville

>Discussing things, laughing, and just generally chilling like bros

>"Hehe... Wait right there, Anon. I have to use the bathroom"

No problem, bro.

>RainBRO sits up from the table and walks off towards the bathroom

>You take a close your eyes, and take a long pleasant sip of your beverage

>Damn it was good

>Frappe with tons of chocolate and stuff like that

>As you lower your drink and open your eyes, you jump in surprise as you see a pony has taken RainBRO's seat

>She was was a minty green unicorn unicorn with orange eyes

>She stared at you with the big, beaming eyes and a huge toothy grin.

Uh... Can I help you..?

>"No..!  ...I mean, Y-Yes!! I mean... A-Are you Anon?!"

Well... yeah, I'm Anon

>"Oh m-my gosh! I've heard so much about you! You're Anon! Anon THE human!!"

>You couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable with her over-excitement

>She suddenly used her Unicorn magic to pull on your fingers, causing you to drop and spill your beverage

>She brought your fingers up to her face where she intently stared at them.

>There was a disturbing amount of awe and interest in her eyes.

What the hell are you doing?!

>"No way... These are..."

>The unicorn's trance suddenly broke as she dropped your fingers and looked up at you.

 

 

 

 

 

>"You have--! Uh... what are they called... Fingers! Yes you have fingers! That's the coolest thing ever!!"

You're still a bit creeped out by this pony

>"Uh... would you want to hang out later, or something?! You can show me more human stuff!!"

Uhm... well, I don't think I could... I have quite a busy schedule...

>You weren't really busy at all, you just tried to create an excuse.

>"Oh, uh... that's fine... I guess..."

>A little disappointed was seen in her facial expression

>You felt a little guilt.

>"Well, I guess I'll see you another time, Anon THE human!!"

>She hopped from the seat and walked out of the shop

>At that time, RainBRO Dash just came back from the bathroom

>She noticed the spilled coffee on the floor and giggle-snorted.

>"Hahaha, Really dude? I thought those human fingers of yours prevented stuff like that..."

>You rolled your eyes at Dash's comment

 

 

 

>The next day

>RainBRO Dash has a busy day of weather duties

>No bro to hang out with

>out of boredom, you decide to wander around Ponyville

>You keep your guard up for Fluttershy and Applejack

>Pass into the market area of Ponyville

>The same unicorn was sitting at an outdoor eating table with another pony, who had blue and pink curly hair

>You and the minty unicorn meet eachother's gaze

>She puts on the same over-excited face she did in the coffee shop

"Oh, not again..." you thought to yourself.

>You give a cheap smile and and a weak, awkward wave

>The unicorn pulls on her friend's hoof

>They walk over to you

>"See, Bon Bon! I told you! I told you there's a Human! Right here in Ponyville!"

 

 

 

>Bon Bon gives you an unimpressed glance.

>"So? He looks like some weird creature from the Everfree."

>"Weird creature?! He's not weird, he's..."

>The unicorn's eye's beam and she blushes.

>"...He's magnificent... he's so... beautiful... I... I just want to hug him!!"

>The unicorn suddenly launched at you

>She wrapped her hooves around you legs

>Her horn hit you right in your jimmies

Ahh! Oh God!!

>You fall over in pain and agony

>BonBon gave you a really weird look while Lyra gave a concerned look

>"Uh... y-you okay, Anon?"

>You shakingly stand up and give her a nasty look

>You walk away in frustration

 

 

>Evening time

>Relaxing in your home

>Suddenly hear a knock at the door

>You check through the door's spyhole, expecting Fluttershy or Applejack

>It's Lyra

>You roll your eyes and sigh

>You unlock the several locks on the door and open it up

"Yes..?"

>She suddenly scoots past you, walking into your house

"Wha-?? Hey, did I say you could come in?!"

>"Whoa! Th-This is where you live, Anon?!"

"Uh... yes, not please leave."

>She hops onto your couch and relaxes for a moment.

>"...Yep... this will do fine..."

What? What are you talking about?

 

 

 

>"uh, nothing!"

>She hops from the couch and quickly rushes upstairs

Hey, don't go up there!

>you walk up stairs to pursue after her

>You run into your room, only to find that she tossed over your clothes hamper

>Lyra sitting there, sniffing and digging her muzzle into your dirty shirt.

>She was making strange moans and sounds

What are you doing?! I said leave! put that down!

>Lyra looked at you in surprise

>"Uh..."

>She uses her magic to take a whole bundle of your dirty clothes

>"I n-need these for... things..."

>She suddenly runs out with them

>You can hear your front door slamming closed.

>Now you have a whole mess to clean up

 

Fucking Lyra

 

 

 

>Early morning

>You walk down stairs, yawning

>Something outside of your front door window catches your eye

>You peek through and you see... Guess who...

>Lyra, digging through your trash can.

>You can see she is wearing one of your shirts, which was even dirtier than before

"Ugh... will she ever just go away?"

>You open the front door and walk outside

>You walk right up to her with a displeased face and your hands at your sides.

>You tap your foot impatiently

>She looks up at you

>"O-Oh! Anon! H-Hi! I was just... sorting your trash... as a favor to you!

"Uh huh... right..."

>"Hey, uh... I can do other stuff for you! I could... clean your house... or cook you dinner... you know, be your wif- I-I mean... helpful friend..!"

"No, you dopey Pony! I don't want you around, you're really getting on my nerves!"

>"Just uh... I-I'll t-talk to you later..."

>She walks away dragging the whole trash can.

 

That pony... seriously...

 

 

 

>Fresh in th Afternoon

>Walking through Ponyville to meet up with Dash for a game of hoofball

>Hear approaching hoofsteps

What in the world is tha-

>*OOF*

>You fall the the floor, dazed

"Hey, Watch where you're... going...?"

>You can see the person you ran into was Lyra, but she was different

>She wore a pair of your pants, and a pair of your shirt, which both was matted and very dirty.

>Lyra had her horn in a soda can, obviously so she can conceal it

>She worse tons of makeup, but it wasn't make up, it was mashed foods on her face

>Basically, she looked like some warped homeless pony.

>"Ooh, I'm so sor-... Wait a minute! Oh my goodness!"

>She said that in a slightly alternate voice, which was spliced with very bad acting

 

 

 

>"A human! Another human in Equestria! Just like me!"

>She obviously wasn't a human, and she obviously wans't fooling you, even though she thought she was.

>"I've given up hope on finding another human, but Now that I've found one! We can do... h-human things! ...and of the sort."

"What, you don't look like a human at a-"

>You were cut short by her stuffing her hoof on your mouth

>"Come now, fellow human! We shall go on a date! L-Like humans!"

>She uses her magic to drag you as she runs off.

 

 

>Lyra dragged you for a good 5 minutes

>As you can see, she brought you to some big resturant called "Plis étranges chez les personnes".

>"Isn't this so great? We can eat here and relate to each as we are both humans"

"Yeah, except that YOU ARE NOT A HUMA-"

>She suddenly bolted through the double doors

>You hit your head hard on one of the doors.

Ow! Ah! Damnit!

>Lyra quickly addressed the Waiter

>"Table for two! A table for two HUMANS, please! Two humans, as in a couple, who need a table to go on their human date! Right now!"

>The fancy waiter gave her a strange look, but then led her and you to a booth table

>She was still dragging you, but no one took any notice of it.

 

 

>She placed you into the booth

>You felt a little dizzy from the abuse you took getting here.

>She sits down and rests her head on her hooves, glancing at you with bedroom eyes.

>You glanced at her as well, but you usually darted your eyes around, trying to avoid awkward eye contact

>The waiter comes by

>"Welcome to "Plis étranges chez les personnes"... What beverage will you be having..?

>Lyra speaks up

>"I'll have a water, please!"

>You figured you might as well go with this

"I'll have a wate-"

>"He'll have a martini!!"

>What the hell, that's not what I wanted.

>Waiter: Very well, your beverages will arrive shortly...

 

 

>Later, the waiter arrives with the beverages

>He places a cup of water near Lyra and a martini near you

>As the waiter walks away, Lyra leans in close, eagerly waiting for you

>fuck it

>You take a sip of the martini

>Hopefully this alcohol will help you bare through this suffering

>"So, uh... how bout those fingers, huh? Th-They sure are great, huh?!"

"Yeah, sure... whatever..."

>"And, uh... feet! Feet are fun and useful... and fondable! You should let me fondle your feet later! You know, plantonically... as humans!"

>You figure you'll play along with this, but you may just take into another direction

"What? That's not what humans do at all! Don't you know what humans do?"

>"O-Oh... R-Right! Uh... I know what humans do, because I am totally a human!"

You give her a looked that showed that you're not buying it.

>She begins to sweat a little

>"W-What I mean is... uh..."

>Lyra suddenly pulled out a book that she was hiding under her clothes

>She flipped through the chapters of the book

>"I mean we can... 'use your tongue to gently stimula-'"

>Lyra suddenly blushed and flipped through more chapters

>She was obviously looked at the wrong chapter in her book that you assumed was based on humans in more ways than one.

 

 

 

>She stops on one chapter

>You can see she's silently reading it to herself

>"You... can... propose to me... under the moonlight... then we can share a night of passion!"

>She closes the book then turns to you with a beaming, smiling face

>You grumble and look away, taking a large sip of your martini.

>The waiter returns again.

>"Have we all decided on what we will be ordering?"

>Lyra says to the waiter--

>"Mhm! I'll have... the 'Rapports sexuels avec des hommes'!"

>The waiter turns to you, waiting for your choice

>You only look through the menu for a brief moment

"Egh... I'll have the 'Je ne suis pas intéressé'."

>The waiter writes down both orders and leaves.

 

 

 

>Lyra was again, staring at you with bedroom eyes

>"So...?"

"So... what?"

>"How do I look? Don't I look pretty?~"

>She tried to do a seductive human pose, but her pony anatomy only made it look weird

"Uh... no."

>Lyra was bit a startled.

>"Uh, I mean... Hot? Er... beautiful? sexy?"

>She nervously tried to do several other poses in her seat, attempting impress you.

"Meh... nah.... bleh..."

>She slumped into her seat, disappointed.

 

 

 

>The waiter arrives with the food

>He places two hot, steaming dishes in front of you and Lyra

>They're both pasta dishes

>You tought this was a french resturant, not italian

>Lyra takes ravels some of the pasta around her fork, and leans in to take a bite

>The can that she was wearing around her horn suddenly slips off and lands on the table

>She was in shock and fear

>Awkward silence for several moments

>You break the silence by pointing towards her horn

"Uh... what is that thing on your head?"

>"O-oh... Uh... Th-That is... U-uh... Th-That is my... uh..."

>Lyra suddenly pulls out her book again, skimming through a page

>"That is my... vibrator! Yes, that is my vibrator, and I have it here with me because it is a human thing to have and I am a human so I have a vibrator because I do human things because I am a human... yes."

>You can't help but smirk and chuckle.

>"W-What's so funny...?"

 

 

>You sigh

"Lyra... just give it up"

>"W-What? I-I'm not Lyra! I..."

>You give her such a disapproving look.

>Lyra sighs in disappointment

>She wipes the makeshift food makeup off her face and looks down in shame and failure

"I'm sorry, Lyra... It's not happening..."

>You stand up from the table and leave the resturant

>Lyra remains in her booth, all alone

>Tears swell up in her eyes.

 

 

 

>Walking home after walking out on Lyra

>Suddenly, you can see you bro flying in over to you

>Now there's a sight for sore eyes

>"Hey, anon! Where were ya? I thought we were gonna play hoofball!"

>You sigh

"Sorry bro, I've been dealing with some pony who is just as persistant as Applejack

and fluttershy."

>"Huh?"

"This crazy unicorn has been pestering me... it seems like she'd be willing to do anything to get with me."

>Dash suddenly peeps down her voice

>"Tell me about it..."

"What?"

>"U-Uh, nothing..."

>You're just about arriving at your home

"...Anyways, I'll talk to you another time, Bro."

>"See ya, Anon!"

>And with that, your bro dashed off

>You walk into your house and plop yourself on the couch.

 

 

 

 

>Very late at night

>You're in your bed, casually sleeping

>Your eyes slowly creak open

>Something has waken you, a strange feeling.

>You look down to find Lyra licking and nuzzling your bare stomach while trying to unbutton your pants

>You flip out and shove Lyra away

>Lyra squeaked in surprise

"Ah! G-Get away! Ugh... do you ever let up?!"

>"A-Anon... I-I'm so sorry... I just... I want you! I NEED YOU!!"

>She tries forcefully kiss you, but you hold her away from you by her head

>Lyra growls

>She uses her magic to hold your hands down

>"Y-You'll enjoy this... I-I promise!!" she said with a concerned tone

>You try to struggle, but you can't break her magic's grip

>Suddenly *THUD-WHAM*

>Rainbow Dash bursts through your bedroom window.

>She rams right into Lyra, knocking her right off of you

>Lyra flees away, escaping downstairs and out the door

>Your bro just saved your ass!

"Sweet God, Dash... your timing couldn't have been more perfect!"

>"Oh, No prob, Anon..! I was just... in the area... not peeping or anything!"

>She notices your bare body and unbuttoned pants

>She blushes and looks away with a nervous grin.

>"A-Alright, Dude, come on... get dressed already, h-hehe..."

>How embarrassing.

>You button up your pants and fix your shirt.

>Your bro gives a heroic salute

>"And with that, Rainbow Dash is victorious!"

>She suddenly flies back out your window

>Whatabro.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Segment 2 --------------------------------

 

>Today is your birthday

>At least you assume It's your birthday because Pinkie Pie claims so

>Not too excited about it, you never really cared for your birthday.

...

>Chilling on your couch, doing nothing

>You really don't have much to do in Equestria besides hangout with RainBRO

>Suddenly a knock at your door

>You spy through the peephole and see Pinkie Pie staring right back in it

>She has a huge smile on

>You open the door

>"There you are, Anon! Come on! Your birthday party is starting and you OBVIOUSLY need to be there!

>Oh right

>She pulls on your hand and drags you all the way to Sugarcube corner

 

 

 

>You both arrive to the party

>There's all of the mane 6

>Booze and tons of delicious food all about

>Maybe this won't be so bad.

>After a few hours of socializing, drinking, eating and having some fun, Pinkie Pie forces you into a chair

>"Hey, Anon! I bet you'll love this! One of your friends told me about some of your human party traditions so, I worked something out for ya!

>Suddenly, the mane 6 gather around you, smiling, as Twilight rolls in a giant cake on a rolling platform.

"What? ...a cake...? Pinkie Pie, this isn't just only human tradition..."

>Pinkie Pie giggles

>"Nope silly, there's more too it!~"

>The lights suddenly go dim, and a spotlight is shined on the cake

 

 

 

>At that moment, something pops out of from the top of the cake

>It's Lyra

>She's wearing sexy lingere like a stripper, as well as deep mascara such as lipstick and eye liner

>Pinkie Pie flips on the radio and a certain song plays---

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKb1TN8LkOw)

>You're staring in complete shock

>Lyra climbs out of the cake, shaking pieces of cake off of her in a sexy manner

>All of the mane 6 are watching and giggling

>Lyra shakes her rump in attempt to be sexy as she walks over to you

>She climbs onto you in a stripper-like manner

>She's getting cake all over you and her hooves make you feel painful

>"Hey, Big Boy~"

>You are still in shock and disgust

>You again realize, you still don't like birthdays.

 

>Lyra twirls and dances around you, like a stripper would

>She's horrible at it

>She's stepping all over you with her hooves

>You roll your eyes and sigh at another one of Lyra's failed attempts at being human-esque

>She suddenly lands a kiss on your cheek

"Hey, wait a minute! That's not what a stripper does! That totally just killed the experience!"

>"Uh... W-wait! I-I made a mistake! I can still be sexy for you, anon!"

"No, get off, you're nothing like my HUMAN GIRLS!!"

>Shes gives a determined

>"I can be... I can be like your human girls!"

>Lyra suddenly tears her lingere top off

>She reveals her flat, breastless, non-human pony chest

>Lyra begins to flaunt her chest in your face

>"Yeaaah~ You like this, don't you?

>You just sit there with a pokerface

 

 

 

>Lyra suddenly slips off of you

>"Eep!"

>Her backhoof swings at your face, knocking you out cold

...

>You later awake with your vision blurred and pinkish

>"Helloooo? Anon?"

>You could tell it was Pinkie Pie

>As you regain your vision, you place a hand right on the side of your head in pain

>That's obviously right where Lyra hit you

>Suddenly, in the corner of your eye, you see Lyra

>Her face was drenched in tears and her makeup was ruined

>Lyra suddenly ran up to your incapictated body, hugging you tight

>Urk

>"O-Oh my gosh! Anon! I'm s-so *Sniffle* Sorry!!"

"Ugh... why did you have to come here, Lyra...? Why couldn't you just leave me alone."

>"I just... *Sniffle* I don't know!!"

>The mane 6 looked at eachother. They were obviously displeased and worried to see the sad scene

>"I just wanted to be... l-like a human... like a human for... f-for you..!"

>She buried her moist, cryingface into your chest.

>You couldn't feel bad for the upset unicorn, so you simply gave her a pity hug.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>At an outdoor snack bar in Ponyville

>Eating a delicious sandwich

>Despite it being all vegetarian, it's pretty damn good

>Lyra appears out of nowhere

>She sits up onto the spinning stool chair next to you

>"One batch of hay fries please!"

>She suddenly turns to you and puts on a large smile

>"Oh, haaaay Anoooon!~, I totally didn't expect to see you here!" She said in a cheery voice

>That sounded like an obvious lie

"Uh... I didn't expect expect to see you either..."

>You actually did, considering she's been stalking you everywhere

>Ignoring her after that, you continue to eat into your sandwich

>You can notice she is just staring at you

 

 

 

 

>Her hay fries arrive in front of her, with a side of ketchup

>She glanced at her food, then at you, then back at the food, then back at you

>Suddenly, Lyra blatantly slaps the container of ketchup

>Ketchup all over your shirt

"Gah! Lyra, what the heck?!"

>"Oops! I'm so sorry, Anon! Let's clean you up!"

>She uses her magic to try to pull your shirt off

>You struggle to keep it on, but she victors of you

>You're now bare from the waste up

"Just, bug off already, I don't need your help!"

>"Sure you do! Whoops, looks like you still have ketchup on you!"

>She suddenly hopped from her seat, tackling you down from yours

>She starts licking your chest and stomach

>You shove her away

"Damnit, will you ever leave me alone, you pervy unicorn?!"

>You grab your shirt with a "HMPH" and walk away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

>Be Lyra

>Wake up in bed with a smile

>Go down, eat breakfast

>Ready to start the day

>Kiss my doll that has a picture of anon's face on it goodbye

>Leave for the day

>Walking around Ponyville

>See anon up in a tree, he looks worried

>What is he doing in that tree?

>Oh, what I would do to climb up his tree... oohh.

>Shake your head of the thoughts to concentrate

"Hey, Anon! What are you doing in that tree?

>He looked at you with an unpleasant look

>"Go away! Fluttershy and Applejack are in the area, and you'll attract them!"

>You look around

>No ponies are actually around, they must of given up

"Uh... I-It's okay, Anon! I scared them away, and told them not to mess with you?"

>"Wait... really?"

"Yep! I fought them off! I-I told them... 'If you ever mess with Anon, I'll bop you a good one!'"

>Anon hops down

"Well... thank you, Lyra..."

>You use your magic to levitate him towards your face

"Why don't you give your hero a big, sloppy, sexy kiss?"

>You pucker your lips

>Anon shoves you and walks away

>Better luck next time...

 

 

 

>Late at night

>After a long day, you groggily walk up the stairs into your room

>You flip the switches and climb into your bed

>A few moments of trying to fall asleep, you noticed something in the darkness

>You flip on your lamp by your bed

>Lyra, wearing a gorilla suit, is revealed.

"Lyra, what are you doi-- MHPHP!?"

>She covers your mouth with her hoof

>She whispers gently into your ear

>"Sh... no screams, only dreams now."

>Suddenly, you feel invigorated

>Your whole body awakens into a new feeling of masculinity and triumph. You feel as if you could take down any obstacle, be it person or creature, physical or emotional. This new found mental explosion of confidence and virtue could only be matched by history's greatest heroes and warriors, but you realized you were above them anyway. Your senses were heightened to extra dimensional levels that enhances your areas of intelligence and Physiology to unexplainable, and un-human levels. You were then, unstoppable.

>With your new form of both realistic and metaphorical energy and wellbeing, you ascended into a higher power. A dimension, beyond the mortal world that cannot begin to fathom your inexplicable power.

>This time, Lyra didn't rustle your jimmies, she empowered them

 

 

 

>Early in the morning

>Enjoying a nice bowl of Gorilla Munch(TM)

>You really have no idea how you got it

>It was still pretty good

>You hear a knock at your kitchen window

>You look

>It's lyra, grinning and waving at you

>Oh no...

>She opens it up and climbs on it

>"Hey, Anon! I see you have Gorilla munch(TM) there! Did you know It's apart of a balanced breakfast and can help develop strong jimmies?"

>You suddenly lose your careless attitude

"THAT'S RIGHT, LYRA!"

>You take a bite.

"AND IT'S DELICIOUS TOO."

>Lyra suddenly throws everything off your table

>She slides onto the table in a seductive post.

>"Why don't you see if I'm delicious too, Anon?"

>You flip the table

 

 

 

 

>Chilling on the couch

>No TV or anything, so just relaxing

>Hear a muffled THUD

"What the hell was that?"

>Suddenly Lyra crashed through the fucking window

>She slides across the room and hits the wall

>She looks up at you with a smile of anticipation

"Are you... oka-"

>"WASN'T THAT FUNNY, ANON?! AREN'T I FUNNY?! HA. HA. HA."

>You give her the most confused, and disturbed look.

>Her smile disappears

>She pulls out her HUMAN book and flips through the pages

>"Uh..."

>Lyra suddenly charges at you

>She rams her head right into your crotch

"GAGH- Ahh!!"

>You fall to the floor holding your precious jimmies

>"Whoopsies! I'm such a comedian, right anon?! Wanna have sex now?!"

>Even if you wanted to, you're not sure if you could really have sex anymore.

>You manage to say "No" through your pained grunts.

>Lyra frowns as she levitates her book in front of her as she walks out

>"Maybe if I..? Nah... Maybe this...? Hmm..."

>Damnit Lyra