Normal Norman Oneshots 8/4/13

I recently started writing for a really young thread called Normal Norman as Tool for a name.  In the new Equestrian Girls movie one character in the background has the only feasible skin tone, therefor he is 'normal'.  He ended up being pretty easy to write so I did most of it for practice.

 

Basic plot at the beginning of every thread:

 

This is Normal Norman. Your everyday high school student, born in Philadelphia pennsylvania. Not long ago, he moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Even though he is a cool, normal kid, that likes to play X-box in his free time, he will face some strange problems in his new life.

 

This is his story.

 

>being Norman

>Parents got a new Job in another town so we have to moon

>I got transfered to the local school

>first day in new school

>What is wrong with these people and their colored skin?

>they hear me

>"OMG SO RACIST"

>"Yeah, check your privilege, white scum."

>People start calling me a skin head.

>It's going to be a long year

 

 --------------------------------------------------------

 

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1IYvVH8srEd

Day Halloween in Equestria high.

>Today is Halloween in school.

>The school decided that a school orientated party would be better.

>Considering the amount of kids that can get their hands on alcohol, it would be better if they had an eye on most of the kids.

>When Purple asked you what it was she started ranting about moon goddesses and nightmares.

>Fucking Purp.

>Tonight is the party and you got the perfect costume ready.

>You look inside of your closet and pull out a perfect Flash costume replica.

>After putting it on you instantly feel fast as shit.

>One final piece and it'll be complete.

>You reach inside of your closet door and pull out two painted Nike shoes that have been made to look like part of the outfit.

>Now you feel like a real badass.

>

>At school.

>The party is getting good, it's almost at full swing.

>There's Purple and the other girls, might wanna say hi.

>"Hey girls, what's up?"

>"OOOOO, Norman you look fast!" -said Pink while pointing to your costume.

>"Thanks, you look pretty good dressed as Sherlock Holmes."

>Looking at the rest of the girls you see that they have some pretty zany costumes on to.

>Purple as Merlin.

>Rainbow as Jason Voorhees.

>Orange as Thor.

>Yellow as a salsa dancer.

>And the Aryan Beauty as Aphrodite.  Quite fitting for a gem like her.

>"Hey Norman!  Nice costume!" - said... wait, who said that?

>Brad walks up to you and pats you on the shoulder to get your attention.

>You turn around to see Brad wearing the same costume.

>"Oh you got the same costume on!  Haha that's neat."

>"Thanks man!"  Said Brad trying to scream past the music.

>As if on cue you both look up and down each other to see who had it better.

>Both of your eyes stop at each others feet.

>You're surprised to see that he has Adidas

>Instantly when you see that he has the worst choice of shoes on you flash him a disgusted face.

>Brad returns it with the same expression.

>"So you think you can run in those shitty shoes?"  - said Brad while giving a cocky grin.

>”I could tape cardboard on my feet and run faster than those!” - you say while grabbing him by the costume.

>”You won’t be saying that when I have them buried in your ass!”

>”You wanna go punk?!”

>Suddenly Rainbow grabs you from behind and pulls you off him.

>”Knock it off you two!” -said Rainbow.

>”I’m gonna imprint my shoes in this Adidas wearing fuckers throat!”

>Pink jumps in between you and Brad.

>”Stop it you two!  I’ve got an idea!” - said Pink.

>”What idea?” - asked Purple.

>”A race!”

>

>Outside.

>You and Brad are both stretching in your spandex to get ready to run as fast as possible.

>Rainbow is working you up with pep talk to get you pumped.

>”Remember, run forward, don’t look at your feet and remember to breathe!”

>”Alright, I got it.”

>You give Brad an icy cold stare.

>He seems to be unimpressed.

>Both of you march to the starting line.

>You look forward and see that the finish line is surprisingly far.

>”How now racers.  Yall get into position, ya hear?” - Said Orange trying to sound like Thor.

>Brad and you kneel down.

>”On yer mark!”

>Your muscles clench.

>”Git set!”

>You raise your hip.

>”...GO!”

>Both of you take off at blinding speeds towards the finish line.

>At break neck speeds you hear the cheers of the girls egging you on.

>Suddenly you see the edges of Brad’s costume slowly crawl in front of you.

>He’s beginning to gain speed and soon you can see his whole body.

>You run as fast as you can to the other end but Brad is always one step closer.

>The finish line draws closer as Brad is getting farther.

>Suddenly you hear a voice past the screaming crowd.

>”Norman run!”

>It’s the Aryan Beauty!

>Her sweet angelic voice is like a siren call past the screaming students.

>”Run Norman you can do it!  I believe in you!”

>A sudden rush of adrenaline flows through you.

>Your beauty needs you, and no Adidas wearing faggot is screwing that up!

>You begin running faster than you thought possible.

>The screams of the crowd get louder.

>Brad begins disappearing behind your vision.

>The finish line is getting closer and closer.

>Brad screams ‘no’ at the top of his lungs.

>But that doesn’t matter to you.

>[spoiler]You were born to run.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]And built to last.[/spoiler]

>[spoiler]He’ll never see your feet[/spoiler][spoiler]because you move so fast.[/spoiler]

>You cross the white line and claim victory.

>The Aryan Beauty runs to your side and you drape an arm over her.

>Brad limps over to you.

>”H-how?” - said Brad while panting.

>”Nobody beats Nike motherfucker.  Nobody.”

>Make out with Aryan Beauty.

>Today was a good day.

 

 

>Day minty fucking fresh in Equestria High.

>The school is having a huge peace drive for all kinds of global problems.

>It’s an extravaganza they pull in the gym every year.

>Not that you were here last year.  You’re still new to this school

>They’ve got war, poverty, racism, all that stuff.

>You were scorned by other students who said that your ‘racism’ is a global problem.

>When you met with Purple she wanted to come by to see what this racism is and why people keep saying it around you.

>Fucking Purple.

>You decide that you’ve had enough of her bullshit and walk away to who knows where.

>After walking a little you see Orange reading a public board.

>”Yo Orange what’s up?” - you ask her.

>”Oh, hey Norman.  Ahm tryin’ to figure out what I can help in with the school peace drive.” - she said while looking at the options.

>”Well, what are the options?”

>”There’s settin’ up, party favors, and lights.  I wrote mahself up fer music, but aint nobody want’s to sing.  We can’t perform without a singer.”

>That’s true, and the entire school sucks at singing.

>You remember last music performance, yeesh that was bad.

>”Hey Norman?” - asked Orange.

>”Can you sing?”

>”What?  Me?  Dear god no, nuh uh, never, not in a milio-”

>”Shame, Rarity is a sucker for singers.”

>”Where do I sign?”

>

>At the peace drive.

>The place is filled with different booths dedicated to different things.

>Blood donation.

>Starving kids.

>Dictatorships.

>And racism.  Complete with a picture of you.

>A few of them scream epithets at you to seal the deal.

>No point in responding to them, you got work to do.

>You move to the backstage to talk with Orange and prep things for the concert.

>Things must be perfect for the Aryan Beauties viewing pleasure.

>It doesn’t take long before you see Orange working with the amplifiers.

>”Yo Orange, what are you playing?”

>”Bass gitar.” - answers Orange blandly.

>”Okay so when are we gonna perform?”

>”’Bout an hour from now, don’t you go runnin’ off you hear?”

>

>Fifty five minutes later.

>”OH GOD, OH JESUS, OH FUCK, OH SHIT, OH HELL!”

>”Norman please calm down!” - begged Purple.

>”I can’t!  I’ve never performed before!  And I definitely can’t sing for shit!”

>”C’mon Norman!  You can do it!” - said Pink while fanning you.

>”I don’t know Pink...”

>”Rarityyyyy~.”

>”FINE!  I’ll do it.”

>”Good, now git yer act together, we’re on in two.” - says Orange as she walks away.

>Now you Purp and Pink are alone in the room.

>”Hey girls?  You got a mint?  All this nervousness is making my throat dry.”

>”Sure Norman, here are some mentos for you.” - said pink while handing you a package.

>You pop two in your mouth and start chewing.

>The effects are immediate.

>Your throat instantly opens.

>A cool breeze freshens your breath.

>You mouth salivates and wets your windpipe.

>”Wow Pinks, these are awesome!  You’re a lifesaver!”

>Before she responds (probably with a rant) the music starts up and cuts her off.

>http://youtu.be/O6za3CcjfyY?t=41s

>”Oh my, it’s starting!  Quick Norman!  Put on the hat!” - said Purple while handing you an ornate headdress.

>You struggle with the hat and finally put it on successfully.

>Orange and that other not-Aryan Beauty chick with the blue hair walk on stage waving their arms and getting people to cheer for them.

>The white chick goes to the turntable and starts fiddling with things while Orange picks up the bass and starts adjusting it.

>All the instruments are playing now so you run out.

>Time to win the heart of the Aryan Beauty!

>You’re lucky you went with the hat to cover your face.  If you hadn’t you’d probably be booed off the stage by now.

>It was also a good idea to wear a poncho to cover your regular clothes to.

>The crowd screams at your appearance and you reach the mic.

>You begin singing and the words flow perfectly.

>Your throat is easily opened and your breath smells amazing to boot.

>The song is full of stopping segregation talk and how the white man holds colors down.

>Kinda fitting if you wanna show that you’re not racist.

>In the song you’re dancing around and pulling out all the stops.

>You even catch a glance of the Aryan Beauty looking starry eyed.

>The song is really getting the crowd going, they’re all cheering at the top of their lungs and enjoying the music.

>The bassline is pretty kickass to.

>Eventually the song ends and the crowd goes wild.

>You take off your hat and reveal yourself to the students.

>Suddenly it goes quiet.

>”Fucking racist!” - yelled someone from the crowd.

>The others join him and boo you off the stage.

>Didn’t matter to you, the Aryan Beauty awaits!

>You spend the rest of the night making out with her while she compliments you on your breath.

>Mentos are the shit.

 

 

Holy shit someone did this:http://vocaroo.com/i/s1RxH5yeNR3U

>Day FEEL THE PAIN! in Equestria High.

>Be Norman.

>Not just regular Norman.

>The strongest fucker in the damn school Norman!

>Brad eventually gave you enough shit about him trying to win the heart of the Aryan Beauty.

>You decided not to get mad, BUT GET EVEN!

>Today you’re breaking the school's record for bench pressing the fifth time in the hour.

>"C'mon Norman! Push it!" - said the obviously inferior gym coach.

>At the count of 200 you chuck the dumbbell...

>Upwards.

>It imbeds itself inside the roof and sticks like glue.

>Okay maybe you should leave the rest of the equipment alone for the rest of the students.

>Inside the hall to your class your steps shake the room like tiny earthquakes.

>Women orgasm at the sight of your perfect biceps.

>A student dared to call you a racist and you imbed your fist in his face without looking.

>Purple passed by and and said that there was a pony just like you call Roid-Flake or something.

>Finally you meet Brad who is trying to romance the Aryan Beauty in his last minutes of breath.

>"Brad" - you say while tapping his shoulder.

>The White Angel notices you and creams at the sight.

>"What is it N-n-nn-.

>"Norman" - you respond.

>With a single clench of your muscles you break his skull.

>The Aryan Beauty has orgasmed for the six time.

>You pick her up and make out with her for the rest of the day.

>Today was a RIIIIIIIPPPPED day.

 

 

>You are Normal Norman.

>The loner, the dweeb, the nerd.

>An entire school looks down on you.

>You only have two real friends.

>Brad and Purple.

>Today you and the entire class have a field trip.

>It's the Rich.corps gamma technology research laboratory.

>There she is, the girl of your dreams.

>The Aryan Beauty.

>You're a real delusional fuck if you think she'll go for a nerd like you.

>The place has some interesting things.

>They even have an animal testing area filled with tiny spiders that they use for testing.

>"There's one missing." - said the angelic voiced Aryan Beauty.

>Whatever, time to take pictures of shit.

>You start snappin' photos left and right.

>Suddenly you get an idea.

>"Would it be okay if I take a few photos for the school paper?" - you ask the White Wonder.

>You start takin' pictures of her like a boss.

>Suddenly she walks off ;_;.

>Something bites you on the hand.

>It's one of the spiders.

>One week later.

>Your spinning webs and leaping from buildings.

>You even make out with Aryan Beauty upside down.

>You are Spider Norman.

 

 

>You are Normal Norman.

>Class geek, along with Purple.

>Brad is your only guy friend.

>He decides to run for class president.

>Decide to help him.

>Some bitch thinks she's hot shit so she runs against him.

>Seriously, she's a huge bitch.

>Get Brads gang member filled family to help.

>Big day comes.

>Whole class comes in to hear the speeches.

>Sunset bitch gives a kiss-ass speech.

>Brad didn't prepare.

>He wings it.

>Class is unamused.

>Man up and help.

>Go on stage.

>Start dancing.

>Song ends early because of Sunset bitch.

>The crowd fucking loves the performance.

>Brad wins.

>You realize you're an awesome dancer.

>You are Normal Napoleon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i46N2ZFPb0

 

 

>Be NN.

>Purple thinks that there are more doors than one to her magic horse world.

>Call her out on her bullshit.

>She says that she found one in a old house nearby.

>Follow her.

>She takes you to a nasty old closet.

>Tell her there's no way there's a horse world in that.

>She pulls you in with her.

>Get greeted by a satyr.

>Find magic world.

>Talk to a fucking lion god.

>He says there's an ice bitch lurking in the hills.

>Reluctantly you join.

>Meet an army of animal people.

>Not one is a talking pony.

>Twilight says it's the wrong world.

>Now you’re doing this for nothing.

>Jesus lion kills himself.

>He comes back like Jesus to.

>Says it was all for nothing.

>What an asshole.

>Fight ice bitch.

>Kill her.

>Claim throne.

>Purple is your queen.

>You still don't like Purp.

>Get old.

>Go down memory lane.

>Purple finds the portal.

>You both go in.

>You both come out young.

>You are Norman Pevensie.

 

 

>In Equestria High.

>Members of the board of directors are hot.

>Unreal hot blue chick is there.

>Smokin' easy 9/10

>Tell her you got the hots for her.

>Her job won't allow relationships with students.

>A real bitch to be a kid right now.

>Venture home to sulk.

>Eventually fall asleep after too much X-box.

>Dream about her.

>I only hope it was real.

>Eh, she's not really naked here.

>Damn this is an awesome dream anyway.

>And not just any dream, it was really vivid.

>Nothing other than kissing happens

>Dangerously close to popping dream boner.

>Go ahead and get one.

>Other than being surprised, she's cool with it.

>Never ending dream fuck train goes on.

>The dream ends when you do.

>On the next day of school you see her.

>Her face is beaming with a smile.

>Everything about her you want.

>And you’re gonna get her.

>Vent your frustration with masturbation.

>Eventually you give up.

>Never thought that the first letter in every line would make a sentence.

 

 

>Be Normal Norman.

>Every day you go to school there is someone calling you racist.

>There's even a death threat in the mail. That's how bad they hate you.

>You usually brush them off, but it's starting to get to you.

>Over a ridiculous amount of time you get a bunch of black friends to come to school.

>Under the protection of 'black up', no one dares to call you racist.

>Their fear is thick in the air, you can smell it...

>Racist, you scoff at that word.

>Everyone you meet wouldn't dare call you that after today!

>Internal monolog was cut by one of your black friend talking to you. "When we get our munee?"

>Did you agree to pay them? "I didn't say anything about pay."

>They begin to laugh. "Did chu tink we gonna go ta skoo fo free?"

>Okay that that was sounded pretty bad. "I'm not paying you!"

>Rage fills them like you had told them that their mothers died. They grab you by the shirt.

>Everyone in the halls are watching you. "Hey, you gib us yo muneh!"

>As a plan against racism, this is pretty bad. "Get your hands off me nigger!"

>Did you just say that out loud?

>The school gives you a deadpan glare.

>Hell, this basically seals you in as racist of the year.

>In half an hour flat you've got your ass beat so hard that you lose feeling in your face.

>Stupid black people.

[spoiler]Hidden messages are fun![/spoiler]

 

 

[spoiler]>Day muscles in Equestria High.

>Be muscle Norman.

>Twilight is winning the crown.

>Sunset Whore is stealing it while saying some shit about the principal.

>All of the sudden she goes demon ape-shit.

>Like actual demon with wings and shit.

>She's using the crown to zombify the school.

>She attacks your friends.

>She accidentally cuts a single hair on the Aryan Beauties head.

>You break out of zombie trance with rage alone.

>Sunset sees you and starts freaking out.

>Give a single muscle clench and rip your shirt off completely.

>Walk over to Sunset Bitch.

>Turn her head into a flower.

>Realize that the school is still zombified.

>Become zombie school's pimp for eternity.

>Make out with White Goddess.[/spoiler]

>Today was a spoiler day.

 

 

>Be NN.

>Year 2768 in Equestria School of Advanced Space Travel.

>Get sent on mission to learn about new planet.

>A bunch of brain suckers show up and you're stranded.

>Fight space pirates.

>Defeat horrid monsters.

>Find huge ugly brain.

>Kill ugly brain.

>Escape self-destructing planet base.

>You are Norman Aran.

 

 

>Day career choice day in Equestria High.

>Today is career day (no shit) for your class.

>People from different jobs will come in and take you under their wing for a short period of time.

>Blue got a fighter pilot. Lucky dyke.

>Orange got an orange orchard worker.

>Purp got a librarian. Mainly because no one else wanted to read for the entire time.

>Yellow got a construction worker.

>White Goddess got a grocery store manager. Which is obviously not worthy her beauty.

>Pink got a gun clerk.

>Finally you, you got... a plumber...

>And the worst part is that he's a grubby, short guy who smells awful.

>He promises that it'll be fun. You're still skeptic.

>The first job he takes you to is a strange house.

>He said "Watcha this!" and hops in a fucking drain.

>Eh, you've done worse in this crazy school year.

>Hop the fuck in.

>Find crazy color world.

>Plumber stops smelling bad and has some snappy lookin' overalls on.

>He tells me he's gonna visit the princess in the mushroom kingdom.

>He says "Let's-a go!".

>Both of you are lookin' pretty sharp in your plumber uniforms.

>He meets his green clothed brother along the way.

>You finally get to town.

>Fucking mushroom people everywhere.

>Make it to castle.

>The place is trashed.

>A fucking turtle stole the princess.

>The three of you go to save her.

>Turns out there's a fuck-ton of castles.

>After three days you find the turtle dude.

>He's fucking terrifying and has spikes all over him.

>Dunk his ass in lava.

>Meet princess.

>She's hot, but not Aryan Beauty hot.

>The princess walks over to plumber dudes and you.

>She gives you a fucking kiss on the forehead.

>Go back to home.

>In real time it was seven hours.

>Still be good friends with awesome plumber brothers.

>You are super Mario Norman.

 

 

>Day BEEP BEEP BEEP in Equestria High.

>Damn alarm clock just ruined your internal monolog.

>What's this? Did a muscular arm just obliterate the clock?

>That must mean.... You're Muscle Norman! The hunkiest man alive!

>You do your in-bed stretches which cause your -glorious- body to expose veins from under your skin.

>After you've woken up, you start deadlifting five hundred pounds.

>Your breakfast consists of a few diamonds you made from pressing coal together with your hands.

>You say by to inferior parents as you go to school.

>A woman who was driving crashes while staring at your pecs.

>When you get to school you do the usual.

>Start making out with your Aryan Beauty.

>She leads you to the back of school. Obviously needs to feel your muscles pressed up against her.

>After twenty minutes of dominating her mouth with your superior muscle ridden tongue you notice that something must be going on.

>"What's wrong baby? I'm surprised you can still feel your face!" - you ask in your usual powerful tone.

>She orgasms at your manly voice and powerful hands on her body.

>Her skin ripples and changes form on accident because of the pleasure.

>It's some dark skinned hooker with holes in her hair.

>She tells you that Rarity is held captive.

>Also some shit about your big body gives more energy for her to feed from.

>She opens her mouth and starts draining some weird pink air from you.

>It goes on well into tomorrow.

>The whore gets sleepy.

>"Ready to tell me where she is?" - you ask in your brilliant voice.

>"I-i-in the b-broom closet." she said through exhaustion and another orgasm.

>You punch her so hard in the face that what was previously a person is now a dark red mist cloud in front of you.

>You save Aryan Beauty.

>Make out with the real deal.

>Today was a "Who the fuck was that whore?" day.

 

 

>Day when the hell did it ever matter in Equestria High.

>Be NN.

>Purple needs to do some magic experiment to get to her home world. What a freak.

>She writes it in the library.

>Suddenly things go to shit.

>Lights start flickering on and off, screams can be heard, and the rune is glowing ominously.

>Suddenly the rune bursts open.

>Demons from Hell fly out.

>You and Purple escape, but now they're demons killing everyone.

>Eventually you find a dead officer's gun, now you're armed.

>Fight your way into Hell with Purp.

>See some weird shit.

>Kill Satan.

>You are Doom Norman.

 

 

>Day big red balls in Equestria High.

>You are Normal Norman and you feel a disturbance in your balls...

>It's something that happens rarely happens, but when it does, you know it's big.

>On your way out to school something stops you at your front door.

>There it is, your shiny red ball, a dodge ball to be exact.  It beckons you like never before, as if it knows you need it.

>After some thought you take it.

>It bulges in your sack and jiggles as you walk.

>At school this sense of unevenness grows, your ball aches in your sack throughout the day.

>Eventually PE class comes.

>You get dressed in the appropriate attire and go to the gym.

>Once you are all there, the teacher blows his whistle.

>"Alright ladies, today we're having dodgeball!  So huddle together for teams!"

>Dodgeball?  Oh no, this is what's wrong, these poor fools don't know what demon they could be releasing!

>"Um, coach?  Is it okay if I get my own dodgeball from my bag?" - you ask the coach.

>"Fine, sure, I don't care." - he says.

>You go back to your locker.

>There it is, the weapon of mass destruction.  The dodgeball!

>You step back into the gym with your ball to see six students waiting for you.

>"What are you guys looking at?" - you ask.

>"Well Norman, since you took so long, we've already built a team.  Looks like it's us versus you." - said a student.

>"What?  No!  You don't know what you're doing!"

>"Can it Norman.  Play ball!"

>The student throws his ball at you at break neck speeds.

>You pick it up and deflect it with expert ease.

>"Play ball."

>The student is out and walks away.

>All the others take this as a sign to get serious.

>A chubby guy thinks he's hot shit and throws at you.

>His giant form misses after his gelatinous for juggles like a round ball of jello.

>The shear size works against him and you return it with a throw of your own.

>It whips through the air and lands on his flabby arm.

>The ball hits with an boom that would be more appropriate on a shooting range.

>Fatty limps away while rubbing his arm that has been imprinted by the red rubber.

>They’ve done it now, they have awakened a beast within you.  And that beast is coming for them.

>Play time is [spoiler]ogre...[/spoiler]

>The other students can see you mean business, they huddle together with what two balls they have.

>They try to hit you with both at the same time.

>Two huge red balls come after you from both sides.

>Their timing is off by a fraction.  It wouldn’t mean much to an average player.  But you are no average player...

>In that fraction of space between them you grab the one closest and shift it in front of the other’s path.

>It bounces off the other and sends it behind you.

>Now there are two against one.

>The two are obviously fearful of what they have gotten themselves into.  But their are no breaks on the rape train.

>You have both of the balls in your hands now, they have none.

>They turn pleading eyes to you, but you will show no mercy to them.

>They have dug their own graves.

>You throw both balls at them.

>Both of them make contact on each of their chests.

>Now they know not to mess with you when it comes to dodgeball, ever.

>Today was a big red balls day.

 

Day layered in Equestria High.

>You are Normal Norman.

>Right now is lunch time with Purple again.

>We have vegan soup.

>It's kinda weird that every day has a huge selection of vegan food out.

>Maybe vegans are the majority here?

>Anyway, despite the food being what it is, it's still pretty good.

>It's a nice onion soup stuff which is not as bad as it look.

>"Ugh, Norman?" - asked Purple while poking her meal.

>"Yeah?"

>"I don't like onion soup, do you have an apple or something that I can borrow?"

>"Maybe you should just try it."

>"Okay, but I won't like it." - she said while getting her spoonful.

>"Blech! Even in this body onion are still gross!"

>Suddenly the lunch halls are filled with a pungent onion stench.

>An ogre bursts into the room and points at Purple.

>"IT'S ALL OGRE FOR YOU, LASS!" - said the beast.

>He runs straight at your table and tackles Purp.

>Before you know it, she's naked and has her ass high in the sky.

>Out of nowhere the ogre brandishes a onion.

>In an instant he starts jamming it into her ass.

>You just sit there, jaw slacked, staring at how he get onions from an invisible source to fill her ass with.

>Purple begs and screams for help, but no one comes to her aid.

>Eventually after bloating Purp's stomach beyond reason he stops.

>"IT'S TIME FOR AN OGREDOSE OF PAIN!" - screamed the green monster.

>He stomps on her gut so hard that she leaks onion juice from every orifice.

>He dips down and whispers into her ear loud enough for you to hear.

"Next time, check yourself before you Shrek yourself lass."

>To day was a "Goes nice with toast tho." day.

 

>Day rip the fuck out of everything in Equestria High.

>You are Muscle Norman, and you are mad enough to rip the whole school down.

>You're in art class right now and the teacher wants you to draw a picture of you being thin and weak.

>Like old Norman!

>What he doesn't understand is that those days are over!

>You can't even imagine what you used to be without a picture anymore!

>This is bullshit, your gonna use your muscles now!

>"Teacher!" - you say in a voice that caused men to cower in fear and women to orgasm.

>"Yes Norman?" - said the old man.

>Could you come and see what I'm doing wrong?"

>"Yes, of course." - he responded in his frail old voice.

>He get right next to your drawing desk.

>"Now what see to be the problem No-"

>Before he has time to finish his sentence you crushed his bony face onto you piece of paper.

>He makes a gurgling sound in his own blood before his life fades away.

>The students just stare, they know not to fuck with Norman!

>You let go of his face and he goes slumping onto the floor.

>Once his body is on the ground you pick up the paper that has a bloody face imprint of the teacher on it.

>"Oh thank you teacher! Now it look just like a scrawny weakling!" - you say to the long desisted corpse.

>Somewhere along that day you start making out with the Bleach Beauty.

>Today was a artistic day.

 

>Fluttershy waits patiently at Norman's door for him to answer.

>The door opens and Norman stands on the other side.

>"H-hi N-Norman..." - said Fluttershy.

>"*Sigh* what do you have for me now Fluttershy?" - responds Norman.

>"Oh um."

>Fluttershy pulls a gun out of her purse and shoves it into her vagina from under her skirt.

>"A-are g-guns your fetish Norman?"

>"*SIgh*, no, no they aren't."

>Norman slams the door and walks back into his house to play X-box.

>Not before hearing a *bang* of course.

>"Fucking Fluttershy."

 

>Day groovy in Cantelot High.

>You are Normal Norman, the baddest mamma jamma in the school.

>You don your trusty disco jacket, and in doing so you have activated your SWAG.

>After striking a few alluring poses in the mirror, you set off to school to keep up your status as a groovy dude.

>Today you're feeling exceptionally groovy, and decide to take the scenic rout.

>It looks all empty and stuff, and you're quite certain that was a drug dealer you saw, but this place is sort of tranquil.

>During your walk to school you see Purple and Brad.

>Looks like they got that groovy step too.

>"Hey there brothas, sickin' it to the man lately?" - you ask your equally groovy friends.

>"All day everyday." - answered brad in his funky baritone voice.

>"They gotta learn they can't put us down!" - adds Purple.

>"True that!"

>As you walk down to school with your friends on both sides, you notice something about this place.

>"Hey bothas." - you say.

>"I'm thinkin' this place is exceptionally jive. How's about you and me jazz this place up?"

>"You don't mean..." - said Brad in an expectant tone.

>"Oh I mean..."

>Music begins playing in the background.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY

>You are Norman Gibbs.

 

>Day topkek in Canterlot High.

>You are Normal Norman, and you have made a grave mistake.

>You accidentally told Purple about the glories of the internet.

>It's been five days since then, and all you have heard from her is memes and nonsensical bullshit.

>Right now, you and Purp are at lunch.

>"Hey Purp? What's our next class?" - you ask her.

>She just gives you a cigar-lipped response.

>"2013."

>"Not knowing next class."

>"Shiggy diggy."

>That comment was dripping with sarcasm.

>This is why you don't like talking to her.

>"Really Purple? Can't at you least try to speak English?"

>"Lel, u mad bro?"

>"No, you're retarded."

>"BR? Hue hue hue."

>"SHUT UP!"

>"U mad bro? Fight me irl, not online, see what happens."

>Punch her lights out.

>Next week she becomes a fat socially retarded (more than usual) purple blob.

>All of her friends left her because of her smell and attitude.

>One month later, she kills herself by choking on cheeseburger.

>You attend her funeral.

>Just as the lower the XXL casket in, the police pull you over to the side to talk for a while.

>They say on her computer was a message to you, asking for help, and that she can't stop hurting herself.

>She made it sound really sad.

>You miss Purple now.

 

>Day impressive Equestria.

>You are muscle Norman.

>Purple is getting the crown after you pounded the skull of Sunset Shimmer into a fine dust.

>Purp decides that it would be cool if you came along to her horse world.

>"Sure, why not?"

>You've been here for about a week.

>Despite its differences from Earth, it's still got the one thing that will happen no matter what dimension you're in.

>Women orgasming at the sight of your muscles.

>As you walk down the street of Ponyville, the women cum at the sight of human perfection.

>Suddenly you see a strange white figure walking down the path.

>It's an extremely muscular white pegasus.

>Purple told you about this one, his name is... Roid-Flake, right?

>The pegasus sees you, and shouts his war cry.

>"YEAH!"

>Purp said he was like you, but she's wrong, he's not -nearly- strong enough.

>Both you kick start a flexing contest in the middle of the streets.

>The mares surrounding you are cumming twice as hard now.

>Roid guy is putting up a good fight, even by your standards he's a challenge.

>You give it your all, you flex like never before.

>A mare bystander dies of dehydration from her orgasms.

>You see his strength is fading, he never stood a chance.

>Eventually, he gives up.

>You stand over his broken form, and laugh.

>Nobody beats Norman. Nobody.

 

[Made to mock a huge faggot in a CYOA thread. B I R, if you're reading this, you're a fag and I had fun mocking you.]

 

>Day incomprehensibly gay in Canterlot High.

>Be Norman.

>Some faggot is screaming in the lunch hall.

>It started when a few guys were making a story and took suggestions. Now he won't shut up.

>"AND DEN DA NRUMAN HE KILL HER! AND DEN DA BRAD HE RAPE HER! AND DEN DA END!" - he screams as food chunks fly from his mouth.

>"Please stop! Who the hell are you?" - asks a random story contributor.

>"LOL YOU NOT KNOW MY NAME!? IT RIGHT HERE, AGH!" - he says while pointing to small markings on his forehead. It's a small three letter name that you could hardly make out from here, but it look like it said; 'B I R'.

>"What the hell kind of name is 'B I R'?" - someone said, confirming your suspicions.

>"Okay, so maybe Nruman should wake up first." - said another guy while trying to ignore B I R.

>"BUT HE ACTUALLY DIED FROM DRAGON DILDO!"

>"Would you just let me finish?"

>B I R suddenly goes beat red from what in his opinion must have been a epic burn.

>"LOL YOU MAD BRO!?"

>"What the hell is wrong with you?"

>Suddenly, the jock dressed in black shows up with B I R written on his forehead.

>"HEY LOOK GUYS! I CAN'T STOP BLOWING THESE WHITE SCUM FOLK!"

>The rest of the students roar in laughter at his antics.

>A few other students show up with B I R written on their heads.

>"OOOOH I CAN'T KEEP SWALLOWING ALL THESE DICKS!" - said turquoise.

>All the other students join in and start mocking him with B I R on their heads.

>Eventually he goes in full denial from the humiliation.

>"YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHITPOST! YOU'RE ALL DUMB!"

>He's trying to play it off like they're the problem.

>Eventually the guys finish the story without him.

>It still wasn't even that good.

>For once, it was nice having someone else mocked, even if it was for a little while.

>Today was a B I R day.

 

>Day green goo in Equestria.

>You are muscle Norman.

>It's been a good mount of time since you moved over to the shitty pony world.

>Right now, a pony version of the whore you killed encasing everyone. Including you.

>You're getting bored of doing all the work, so you let Purple handle the situation.

>Purp and Wavy Haired Ho are fighting a horde of other black hookers while the big momma is giving you a sly grin. It's not the 'I wanna suck your dick' smile, it's more like the, 'all according to plan' one.

>She starts draining energy from you, but this time with her horn. It's not painful or anything, so you just let it happen.

>Eventually, Wavy Haired Ho and Purp catch up.

>The black hooker turns around to face them.

>She shoots the Wavy Hair and she falls over. It's not like she wasn't ripin' ass just a second ago, so the black ho must be really strong.

>Suddenly she blurts out; "Haha, with this human's power, even Celestia is at my mercy!"

>Wait, did she just...

>No one steals Muscle Norman's power!

>While she's distracted with laughing her ass off, you slowly climb out of your goo cage.

>Purp sees you breaking free, but she knows better than to say something.

>As you slowly stand up from your seated position, your shadow slowly grows over her.

>She stops laughing to notice that everyone has gone silent.

>All eyes are on you as she slowly turns around to meet your eyes.

>The seething rage are and built up and built hate of a silver back gorilla stares back at her with eyes that say, 'I will kill you'.

>You punch her so hard that she should be turned into red mist.

>But this is cartoon world, so she flies out of the building into the horizon.

>Everyone, accept for super virgin Purple, orgasm at the sight of your arms.

>To their dismay, you don't fuck them. You ain't no horse fucker.

>Today was a history repeats itself day.

 

 

>Day FREEDOM in Canterlot High.

>You are the paradigm of strength, Muscle Norman!

>Today is the fourth of July, the day America earned independence from the British.

>Right now, the integrity of American freedom is at stake. The Nazi known as Octavia is attempting to take over the school's innocent American minds with her propaganda!

>But you will never let this happen, not while there is a single ab on your body, not while there is a single star on the flag, as long as there is a single cinder of American freedom, you can build a great flame of justice!

"Octavia!" - you boom into the school hallway.

>By now, the floors should be stained with the collective juices of the school's female students. But these kids are too far gone, Octavia's mind control is their new leader.

>"You're too late, Norman!" - says Octavia in her waffen SS uniform.

>"Zeir precious American minds are now mine! Now, attack my minions!"

>Her army of corrupted students turn their attention to you from Octavia's speech podium.

>Their eyes are devoid of life, all that remains now are tiny Stars of David in the center.

>"Must. Stop. Goyim." - they drone in unison.

>Like the unstoppable force of muscle you are, you plow straight into the crowd with the force of an angry silver back gorilla.

>One by one, the slaves of Nasitavia get freedom beat into their minds.

>A swift kick (OF JUSTICE) to the jugular is all it takes to free these kids from their hypnosis.

>"Nein, my master plan! FOILED!" - shouts Octavia as she sees the last of her slaves convert to justice.

>As the last student fall against your powerful arms, you approach the defeated nazi.

"The only plan you have against justice is surrender."

>She doesn't orgasm, she's probably a lesbian.

"Now, look into my eyes..."

>You clasp the sides of her face with your magnificent hands as you bring her eyes to yours.

>Images of freedom and liberty flash before your now star spangled eyes, it's the look of pure justice.

 

>"N-nein! Anything but zat!" - she begs.

"It's too late. You are already free."

>Her figure turns hard and stony as her eyes are replaced with fifty stars and thirteen stripes.

>The deed is done, Nazitavia is now another stone statue for the birds to shit on.

>"Oh, Norman~." - coos a voice from behind.

>You turn to see the Aryan Beauty in a sexy Uncle Sam costume staring at you from the other side of the hallway.

>"I couldn't help but notice that marvelous display of justice. And you know that freedom gets my cooch hotter than a Gorge Foreman grill. How about you and me celebrate by making sparks fly?"

>Your huge figure marches over to her and embraces her in a kiss like a solder coming home from the front lines.

>Today was a JUSTICE day.

 

>Be Norman.

>Go to country called Arhemland for vacation.

>They have a Colosseum for events.

>Go there for the fun of it.

>The event has not started yet, but people are screaming their heads off for the show to start.

>Eventually the spiked gate opens up and out comes... retards?

>They spread out in completely random directions. Some even stop to taste the sand.

>The people are screaming their heads off, they really like seeing these guys drool all over themselves.

>Suddenly, a man in an ogre suit that looks like Shrek walks into the stage.

>The crowd eats dat shit up, they scream like never before.

>Ogre guy walks to the center of the stage.

>"RETARDS OF THE THUNDER DOME! WELCOME TO THE RETARD RODEO!" - he shouts.

>Some of the tards stop licking the floor to listen to him.

>"Now gather around for story time!"

>The retards storm in his direction, some fall and get run over.

>Eventually the crowd gathers around and sits patiently for the story.

>The crowd goes dead silent, eager to hear every word this ogre has to say.

>He gets down to their level.

>"Once upon a time. There was an ogre, just like you. And he lived in a smelly old swamp, just like you."

>He tries to give off this ominous tone to sound mysterious.

>The only thing heard now is the laughter of the thousand people filling the seats.

>The ogre continues.

>"What he would like to do, is stuff unions in kids, just like you!"

>The crowd goes wild again, they start brandishing onions from their pockets.

>Hundreds of roots go flying in the air as they begin pelting the retards with all they've got.

>The tard brigade start crying their eyes out, tears stain the sandy floor.

>Suddenly, a hazmat team run into the stage and start holding the retards down.

>They begin ramming all of the onions they can get into their assholes.

>The ogre in the middle is laughing his ass off.

>The tards beg as the crowd yells for more.

>Today was an ogre day.

 

>Be Norman.

>For some reason, you can't say Rarity's name.

>No matter how hard you try, all you say is a long line of 'rara's.

>Today, you and Purple are going over to the movies for a friendly get together.

>"Say Norman? What movie should we watch?" - asks Purple

"Maybe Pacific Rim? I've heard good thing about it."

>"Great, I'll go get the movie tickets. You can go help the other girls at the snack bar."

>You turn around to see the girls in line.

>All except for Pink, she's busy filling an entire tub with popcorn butter.

>Aryan is up soon, time to be polite and pay for her. Luckily she's also the last in line, so you don't have to pay for the other girls.

>You walk up to her just as she brings out her purse.

"Let me pay for it." - you say.

>"Why thank you, Norman."

"No problem Rararararararararararararararararararararararaararararara-"

>OH GOD, I'S HAPPENING AGAIN!

"-rararararararararararara-."

>Aryan just looks annoyed and walks away after rolling her eyes.

>Orange smacks you on the back of the head to shut you up. Good think it works too.

>Oh god, this is embarrassing, you fucked things up royally.

>Whatever, you hope the movie is good enough to make up for the mistake.

>The movie finishes without any problems, and it was awesome to boot!

>Just as you walk out of the theater, something catches your eye.

>Pinkie is fumbling with the bucket of butter, and is about to land on Aryan!

"Rarararara?"

>She doesn't hear you, tie to take action!

>You leap in between the two of them and the full wave of butter into your chest.

>You fall to the floor in pain as the heat scorches your skin.

>"Oh my, Norman!" - says Aryan.

>"Are you okay Norman?"

"Ugh, Rarararararararararararararararararararara-."

>"GODDAMMIT, NORMAN!"

 

>Be Norman.

>Be walking in school.

>See new girl.

>She's Purple.

>But most importantly, she's carrying a lot of books.

>She wobbles, she twists and shakes.

>Finnaly she trips over, the books she held tightly spill onto the floor.

>She frantically tries to pick them up, but you won't give her the chance.

>You swoop down to you knees to meet the girl, your eyes lock with her's.

>She begins to sweat, her entire body is sreaming for mercy.

>You bring youself to her face, "Let me help you with those.".

>Her dignity shatters, tears well in her eyes.

>"Y-yes, thank you..." - she weakly says.

>As you begin to give her each book, your penis gets harder and harder.

>All of the women of the school watch in shock, the men's glares cut deep.

>As the final book makes it's way into her hands, you say...

>"It was my privilege..."

 

>Be Brad.

>An average day of school inside of Canterlot high.

>Star putting up books inside of your locker.

>Suddenly a new girl bumps into your leg.

>She on the floor, rubbing her head.

>Her eyes turn to you, they widen from the anticipation of what's to come next.

>It's too late for her, today, you hunt for a different type of rape...

>You reach your hand down to her level.

>"You okay?" - you say in your masculin and dominating tone.

>Tears well in her eyes, a few escape and run down her purple cheaks.

>She reluctantly grabs it as she looks away.

>The men and women of the school take notice to what's going on, a crowd soon gathers.

>As she is lifted from the ground, the men's pants are lifted from their waist.

>When she takes her first step onto the ground, the room goes dead silent.

>She utters the few words that echo in the hall way...

>"T-thank you..."

>The men burst into ape-like howls as the women break into tears.

>As everyone freaks out, you keep your cool to say one last thing...

>"It was my privilege..."

 

>"Give her the dick, Norman. You know she needs it, you can tell it in her eyes."

>This has been going on long enough, actually, it's been going on for a week.

>You are Norman, and currently you are being possessed by the ghost of Rene Descartes.

>One tiny experiment with magic by Purple gave you the ability to speak with past lives.

>One of them happened to be Descartes.

>He's annoying and won't shut up about giving people the "d".

>"C'mon, Norman. Just look at her! She's begging for the d!"

>You pull yourself to the corner so talking to him won't make everyone think you're insane.

"Look, Descartes, that's a dude! And he's Thunder Drums, he hates racists, including me."

>"What? Really? Damn, you kids sure do dress funny nowadays."

"Yeah, so stop saying it to everyone."

>"... I still want you to give him the d."

"Dammit, Descartes!"

 

>Be Norman.

>Brad is sitting at the lunch hall with you, despite being called "The Racist", Brad can land you a spot at the rocker table.

>These guys are pretty kick ass, they're some nice people hang with.

>This will be the third time you get to sit there, finally you feel like you're making some friends.

>You and brad sit down at the table with bowls full of soup.

>Everyone is really chowing down at the food, this stuff's the shit!

>Suddenly, you notice that the green haired chick isn't eating.

"Hey Green Hair, why aren't you eating?" -- you ask.

>"Oh, because I don't like onions."

>Without warning, Shrek bursts into the room as a gust of wind carries the scent of onions around.

>Shrek points at her.

>"IT'S OGRE FOR YOU NOW, LASS!" - he shouts.

>He takes slow and powerful steps towards the table.

>Just as he reaches her face, he turns to you guys and snaps.

>"Hit it, lads!"

>As if preparing for this moment, the group keyboardist starts playing an opening riff.

>The other band members get into possessions at their respective instruments.

>All but the mic is filled.

>Shrek pats his ogre hand on your shoulder and points to the mic.

>"She's all yours, lad!"

>As the music picks up, Shrek begins raping Green Hair.

>You start singing.

>Shrek is now raping her to the song All Star by Smash mouth.

>Today was a Shreked day.