Title:           Random /mlp/ dad stories.
Author:          Gunfity
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/9uvLEukc
First Edit:      Sunday 28th of February 2016 10:52:46 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 28th of February 2016 11:16:24 PM CDT

>"What's all this shit then?"
"Pony merch, Sis got me into the show."
>"Oh, that My Little Pony show she watches?"
"Thats the one."
>"You going to jerk it to them like you do your anime girls?"
"Already have"
>"Faggot"
 
And that's how that went 3 years ago. I mean, how badly do you not get along with your parents. Jesus.
 
 
 
"Hey dad, check out this new game."
>"What is it?"
"Dead or Alive 2 Harcore, check this out."
>Anon performs sick Ryu Hayabusa Izuna Drop
>"Jesus son, that's a chick's head you just smashed into the ground."
"Whatever, she's trying to kick my ass too, its fair game."
>Anon performs another sick drop. Panty shot's galore.
>OHHHH, I see why you're playing this now."
"What? No! Its just part of the game."
>"Whatever son, If I feel like jerking it to her I know you do to. Don't worry, secrets safe with me."
"GAH! It's not like... ugh. Whatever."
>"Hahah, see ya later son."
 
More or less.
 
 
Oh, I've got tons. My dad and I get along real well.
 
"Hey dad, check this out."
>Show him pick related.
"Yes or no?"
>"What the hell is she wearing?"
"Yes or no?"
>"She's taped up her nip's, that's gonna hurt like a bitch to pull off."
"YES OR NO!"
>"... I mean, she might have a butterface under the scarf but I'd do her."
"HA! She's a pony mother fucker!"
>"Bullshit, she's a woman!"
"Based off a pony, Vinyl Scratch amigo, that DJ pony I talk about."
>"Oh for fucks sake are you kidding me?"
"Nope"
>"Welp... fuck you."
 
 
 
Alright, I've only got a few pony ones left though.
 
>Go to folks house to pick up a package I had delivered there. (Fuck apartments.)
>Get in the door, there's a note on the table.
>"Dear Anon, I, your loving sister, have decided to hide your package from you. If you want it back please drive me to the mall when I get back from work. - Sister."
>Oh no she didn't.
"Fuck it. I've got nothing to do today."
>Barge into sisters room and grab AJ plush (Pick related, only its one of those fucking huge ones.)
>Wait for dad to get home from work, as he gets home before sister does.
"Dad, I have a favor to ask, take a picture of me."
>Grab the plush and slam it into my crotch.
"Do it."
>Dad takes the picture, stares at it, then gives my phone back.
>Send picture to sister.
>"Okay now do me."
"What?"
>Look up to see my dad humping the plush
>We both start laughing our asses off, just as brother starts walking up the stairs from the basement.
>"What the hell are you two doing?"
>Dad throws plush straight into brothers face.
>"NOTHING, go back to your room you little Diva!"
 
 
 
He's pretty great. Long story short my parent's divorced a loooong time ago, and he's done his best to be a good father and a best friend.
 
>Be playing smash bros brawl with brother and dad
>Dad for whatever reason loves playing as pit, partly because his forward B is annoying as fuck, if I had to guess. (Look it up.)
>Be on Hyrule temple.
>Match goes as normal, brother and I attempt to murder each other and dad jumps in randomly attacking us.
>"HAIYAYAYAAAA"
"CHRIST Dad, stop!"
>"You wish you played like this."
>Dad proceeds to HAIYAYAYAA to his death.
>"FUCK YOU PIT JUMP YOU BITCH"
>Match continues, brother and dad have two lives, I have one.
>Manage to take another life from brother, but dad smashes me from behind.
"Gah, FUCK dad, I was gonna let you win if I could take out brother!"
>"I dont need your pity you little shit."
>Brother chimes in "Might as well give up dad."
>Brother forgets that dad has played almost as much as us, he may be worse mechanically, but he knows how the level works.
>Dad hides at the bottom of the level.
>"HAIYAYAYAYAAA" x 100
>"WHY THE FUCK CANT I HIT YOU!?"
>Brother gets in a few good hits, breaks dad's shield.
>"SAY GOODBYE DAD"
>Bomb spawns right as brother activates smash. Both of them go flying into the pit.
>GAME, THIS GAMES WINNER IS... PIT.
>"HAIYAYAYAYAYAAA"
>"FUCK YOU DAD"
 
I have never laughed so hard in my life as I did that day.