Diplomatic Immunity - Part 3

>“Anonymous, please wake up, we are nearly there.”

>You are awoken by the sound of Chrysalis’ voice as her hooves gently nudge your side in an attempt to get you up.

>You bat away her hoof with a groan.

“Alright, I’m up, I’m up.”

>With a yawn, you sit upright and survey your surroundings.

>The scenery hasn’t changed much from a few hours ago, save for the fact it’s gotten significantly darker out.

>It’ll be nightfall in an hour, and with no supplies to speak of, you hope that you’ll be able to find some shelter soon.

>A grumbling in your stomach reminds you haven’t even eaten for the entire day either.

>On the brightside, you didn’t go through any rapids or over a waterfall while you slept, thank God for small miracles, you guess.

>You twist yourself in an attempt to stretch, causing a loud crack to erupt from within your back.

>The sound startles Chrysalis, causing her to jump a bit.

>”What in Tartartus’ name was that?!” She yells in surprise.

>You let out a little giggle.

“Nothing, just popping my joints or whatever.”

>”Well, it sounded painful, that can’t be normal.”

“It’s a good sort of pain though, and pretty much everyone back home can do it. See?”

>You crack your knuckles to prove your point.

>She cringes, clearly not happy with that display of human physiology.

>”Humans are so strange…” She mutters.

 

>As if that wasn’t the pot calling the kettle black…

 an effort to steady the lilypad,  you then use it as leverage,and swiftly jump from your vessel onto dry land.

>You reach for the lily, bringing it closer to the shore, then motion to Chrysalis to come ashore with your free hand.

>With a little hop, she makes her way onto the riverbank.

>You release your grip on your makeshift craft, giving it a dignified salute as it drifts down the river.

“You served us well, buddy, and peace be with you in your journey.”

>”Spare me with the theatrics…” She states, seemingly unimpressed by your impeccable showmanship.

>Oh well, you can’t please everyone.

>You help her navigate up the slippery bank, and proceed on foot to her hideout.

 

>You march through the dense undergrowth with Chrysalis at your heel.

>More nocturnal creatures are beginning to awaken from their slumber as the sun begins to set over the horizon.

>Suddenly, Chrysalis’ voice echoes behind you.

>”…So…” She hesitates.

“What’s up?” You ask.

>”So that thing you did back on the river…what else can humans do?” She asks softly.

>You just laugh a little, surprised by her sudden interest in your people.

“That’s one Hell of question, hmm.” You rub your chin as you ponder how to answer. “Well, I can do this!”

>You turn around and do a quick handstand.

“Pretty cool right?” You say from your inverted position.

>”…”

>She just stares at you.

>Okay, maybe that’s not exactly impressive…

>You return to a standing position.

“Well, humans…I guess we do everything practically everything ponies can, just y’know, without the magic or wings.”

>”Ha! That is most doubtful, how can you even fly without wings or magic?” She scoffs in doubt, giving her wings a small flutter to reiterate her point.

>You grin, you were about to blow her mind.

 

>You continue on the path for another for another hour, answering her questions as best you can.

>”And you’re saying these devices allow you to speak with anyone across your world that has them?!” She exclaims. “Even messages through dragonfire aren’t able to replicate speech without numerous enhancements, most fascinating!”

>You smile; she’s grown more and more curious about your world as you trek through the woods. You’re struggling to keep up with her endless torrent of questions.

“Heh, you’re probably the only one that thinks so. Most humans would opt to text someone over calling in this day and age.”

“I swear, this one girl I knew; you’d think she didn’t even know a phone could do more than play Angry Birds!” You say as you let out a hearty laugh.

>”Angry…Birds?” She cocks her head to the side. “How do you play with angry birds?”

“No no, they’re not real birds, it’s a video game, y’know, like… a…damn, I guess you wouldn’t have anything like that here, huh?”

>She shakes her head. You sigh, that was one more thing about home that you miss.

“Probably for the best, they can be pretty addicting to say the least.” You state with a shrug.  

“Anyway, is there anything else you’d like to know? That’s pretty much all I can answer about our “magic”.”

>She pauses for a moment with a puzzled look on her face, thinking of what to ask you next.

>Finally, she pipes up.

>“You mentioned the girl earlier...” She remarks.

“Yeah, what about her?” You ask.

“…what do human females look like?” She quietly replies.

>You almost stop dead in your tracks in disbelief, but press on.

“Why the sudden interest?” You inquire. “Not thinking of trying to seduce me? Are you, Chrissy?” You say with a mock gasp.

 

>She snorts haughtily, whipping her head back in amusement.

>”You’d only be so lucky, human; I merely wish to know if the rest of the humans race are as unpleasant to look at as you.” She retorts with a smirk.

>Jesus, you’re gonna need ice for that burn.

“Yeesh, can’t take a joke? But yeah, male humans and female humans, they got a lot more variety going on than the average pony.”

>”What do you mean by that?” She inquires now.

“No offenses to them, but most of the ponies here look exactly the same, but with a different fur colors and hairstyles. It’s a wonder they can tell each other apart sometimes,” Then the picture of that hulking freak of nature with the barbell cutie mark comes to mind. “Well, most of them anyways.”

>You finish explaining the differences between boys and girls as best you can.

“But yeah, girls are little smaller and more delicate looking than an average guy,” Then the picture of  the monstrosity that is Rosie O’Donnell comes to mind. “Well, most of them anyways.”

>”Interesting…”

 >Chrysalis abruptly stops; you turn around to see what the problem is.

“Something the matter?”

>She looks to be in deep thought, the crown-thingy on her head twitching every now and again.

>”We’re here.” She lifts her forehoof and points it into the distance. “It should be just through that patch of jungle ahead.”

“Finally.” Sighing in relief, you continue onwards. “You gonna miss me when I’m gone?” You say grinning from ear to ear.

>”Hmph, if you believe for a second I’ve enjoyed your company, you’re sorely mistaken.” She says in a huff.

“Aww, you’re gonna make me cry. Was I really that bad?”

>You hear her mumble something under her breath.

>”Maybe you weren’t that horrible to be around…”

 

>You give her a little pat on her back, causing her head to bolt up in surprise.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re happy to have me as a friend.” You give a little shrug as you walk past her. “But hey, I’ve been wrong before; now let’s get you home, Chrissy.”

>You could’ve sworn you saw a smile begin to form on her face.

>Ha, as if, probably just your imagination.

 

>The two of you manage to push your way out of the jungle into a clearing.

>Before you lies a large cavern, swarming with tons insectoid-looking ponies.

“Guess this must be the place, huh?” You say, walking towards the mouth of the cave.

>”Anonymous, wait!” Chrysalis yells in an attempt to get your attention.

“Wha-SHIT!” You yell as you’re rushed down by four of the larger changelings, the force of impact sending you to spiraling toward to ground, the wind knocked clean out of you.

>You writhe on the ground, clutching your chest as you struggle to catch your breath.

>You get a better look at your attackers.

>These guys are absolute monsters, bigger than Chrysalis by about two feet easy, and they’re built more like bulls than actual horses to boot.

>You don’t even stand a chance in your current state. Even if you’d been at strength, you doubt you’d have been able to stop their advance.

>They tower over you in your vulnerable state, their hooves planted firmly on your chest. They bear their fangs, hissing loudly right above your head.

>Suddenly, they rear back, poised to strike like the axe of a guillotine, and then bear down onto your body with their sharp teeth.

>”GUARDS, STOP!” Chrysalis roars.

>They stop inches away from your neck, then remove their hooves from your body, and fly back into the cave, as if nothing had ever happened.

>You sputter and cough, but at least you’re alive.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5lJvrjduE4

 

“Jesus Christ, what…the Hell….” As you try to pull yourself to a standing position, you cry out in pain and clutch at your side. “ARGH.”

 >At least one of your ribs is assuredly broken, the pain is unbearable.

>You begin to stumble and your vision begins to blur.

>Then, you suddenly drop to your knees dazed by the suddenly trauma before sprawling onto your back on the cold dirt.

>Your eyes are heavy, you’re about to blackout.

>“ANON!” She screams, as you feel your breathes shorten.

>As you begin to lose consciousness, you see Chrysalis galloping toward you, a look of dread upon her face.

>And then nothing.

 

End of Part 3