Sacrifice and Madness - Episode 1

[This story is brought to you by the infinite glory that is Metal.]

 

>Day HOLY FUCKERY BATMAN! WOLVES MADE OF FUCKMOTHERING WOOD! AKA It's Saturday in Equestria...

 

>Today is a rather peaceful day in the town of P0nyville.

>The birds are chirping in the trees.

>Twilight Sparkle is doing some reading, mostly on Ancient Equestrian History.

>Rarity is trying to come with the newest fashion fad.

>Rainbow Dash is napping on a cloud, dreaming about becoming the greatest Wonderbolt.

>Fluttershy is caring for her chickens.

>Pinkie Pie is doing her Pinkie Pie thing, though mostly just making cupcakes [Sadly, not made of p0nies...this time].

>Applejack is selling apples at the market and doing surprisingly well today.

>The Cutie Mark Crusaders are in their little tree house planning for their week off from school.

>And no ancient unspeakable evils or 8-year-old looking psychotic hyper-goddesses have awoken and tried invading...yet.

 

>Overall, it's a rather calm day. Nothing really out of the ordinary. Well...except the howls of the Timberwolves in the far distance from Everfree Forest.

>Though that's nothing to be worried about.

*BOOM*

>Suddenly, a boom akin to cannon fire fills the air of P0nyville, startling her inhabitants that were trying to enjoy the day without worrying about Hell busting a nut all over their little town.

>The howls could be heard actually growing closer to the town.

*BOOM*

>A second boom sounded from Everfree Forest.

>The source of the explosive sounds is none other than yourself.

*BOOM*

>You are Kanonymous or Kanon as you like to be called by your friends.

>And by friends, I mean that 8-year-old psychotic hyper-goddess that was previously mentioned who is a total troll by the way....Bitch....

*BOOM*

>Anywho, let's get on with our little story shall we?

 

 

**POV Shift to yourself...you know, Kanonymous/Kanon?**

"Fucking fuck!"

>Luckily, the blasts from the gun in your hands has scared off the beasties that were chasing you.

>Unluckily however, you are on your last magazine of ammo.

>Okay you only had the ammo in the guy and this one mag. But still, 8 rounds?! Who the fuck starts you off with just 8 rounds of ammo?!

>Then again, this thing kicks like a fuckmothering mule. What is thing, a 4-gauge shotgun?

>Glancing at the rounds before ramming the magazine home into the mag entry, you confirm what you just thought.

>You are wielding a 4-gauge bolt-action shotgun.

 

>Sweet Diggity Dafodi-

"Fuck!"

>A wolf comes barreling out of the underbrush around and tackles you the ground.

>Ramming your forearm into its mouth to keep it from tearing out your throat, you reach inside of your jacket and pull out the trusty Colt M1911A1 from its holster.

>Pressing the barrel against the side of the beasts head you pull the trigger until it clicks from an empty chamber.

>As you push the beast off of you and stand, you notice it seems to be made of wood.

>Great, you're being attacked by wolves made of fucking wood. What's next? A fucking manticore?

>Reloading your trusty sidearm, you holster it before picking up your newly acquired weapon--the shotgun--and bolt in a fresh shell.

 

 

>Great, a lull in the action. Time to figure shit out time!

>Okay, let's see...you're in a dense forest being hunted by wolves made of wood while wielding a gun you designed for your Fallout: New Vegas mod when just an hour ago you were standing in the local thrift store looking over a fancy book you found. I mean it was a really fancy and cool book with a design on the front that look like something Lovecraft would come up with.

...

>Either this is a really impressive Schizophrenic hallucination.

>Or you've been transported to a new dimension.

>You really hope it's the former because you can't handle being in a new dimension right now. At least you found a fancy new greatcoat at the thrift store.

>It reaches down to your ankles. The shoulders are the right width and the arms are perfectly long enough. It's even a nice dull steel blue color.

>You can even hide your sidearm and holster under it so no soccer moms will freak out.

>Though the coat will make you look a little suspicious.

[Pay the fuck attention genius! Check for injuries and prepare for the next wave!]

 

>Right right, injuries.

>A bite to your right left forearm, nothing too major except it hurts like a bitch and is bleeding quite a bit.

>A few light scratches and a shallow claw wound across the chest that mostly just shredded your favorite shirt.

>It was a gray shirt with an upward pointing gold sword with black wings surround by purple flames. You had the same symbol tattooed on the back of your right hand. You believed it was lucky or something.

>Checking your face, you find your glasses are still there. However you've lost your fedora. Still don't what Viscose is...most likely it was that silky stuff on the inside.

>As you wrapped the shotgun's sling around your shoulder to reduce the chances of it being knocked out reach if something tackle you, you notice your fedora sitting nearby.

"Day," you say to yourself while picking back up and setting it on your head, "official made."

>Gotta enjoy the little things or you'd never be able to enjo-

 

 

>A loud lion-esque roar interrupts your train of thought. Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you turn towards the source.

>Just then a massive...really, reality? A manticore? Fucking A!

>The manticore growls menacingly at you but the only emotion you could muster is annoyance.

"So whattcha ya gonna do, Simba? Sting me?" You ask the manticore in best gravelly badass voice you could muster. In fact you sound a bit like Duke Nukem. Sco-

>You scream as feel a sharp stabbing sensation came from the side of your right thigh. Looking down, you the manticore's stinger pull out of your thigh, forcing you to drop to a knee.

>Turning back to the Manticore, you see it bound twice from its original position to pounce on you. Quickly, you drop and roll to your left out of the way. As soon as the beast lands, you are laying on your back with your new gun brought to bear on the abominative Greek monstrosity.

*BOOM*

>The manticore goes flying to its own left, a massive hole blown into its right side.

 

>Getting up, you're a little wobbly but over all you can weight on your right side. Hurts like a fucking bitch. Must've just been a through-and-through in the muscle.

>You look over at the manticore as it lets out a groaning growl. Glaring angrily at it, you lift the shotgun, shoulder it, and-

*BOOM*

>Blow off the manticore's front limbs.

>Moving over to the beast, you now have a bead on its head after bolting in a new round.

"Must've been pretty funny, Simba," You growl, not even putting on the gravelly badass voice this time, "because your sides are gone."

*BOOM*

>Head equals FUCKING GONE!

You stand there for a few moments before taking in a deep breath and yelling, "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!"

>Oh yeah, that was really necessary to do. Oh well, damage already done.

 

 

>Glancing to your left, you notice more of those wood-wolf-things coming out of the underbrush, growling pretty loudly and angrily.

"You wanna do this? YOU WANNA DO THIS?!" You yell in your best Cuban Accent [It's horrible by the way. No where nearly as good as your gravelly badass voice] turning your aim towards them while bolting a fresh shell. "OKAY, LET'S DO THIS! SAY HELLO TO MY BIG ASS FRIEND!"

*BOOM*

>There is just enough distance between you and the wolves--along with the spread of the shot--that the first three and blown away easily.

>Pulling back the bolt and ramming it back home, you pull the trigger.

*click*

>Blinking in confusion, you look at the shotgun. Even the wolves seem confused at this.

>Pulling back the bolt, you look inside.

>...Empty....

>Slowly pushing back in the bolt, you look at the wolves. If they could grin, they would have the biggest shit-eating grins in history of shit-eating grins.

"Beep beep." With those to simple words, you turn and run like you've never ran like before.

 

>You could hear the wood-wolves behind you but you give no fucks right now. Just caring about getting the fuck away.

>Wow, you're running pretty fast. Shit you even just jumped over the fallen tree like it was nothing. Maybe you should try out for the Olympics if you ever get back home.

>NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!

>Right right. Sorry.

>Noticing the foliage around you thinning out, you figure you are pretty close to the edge of the forest.

>Gritting your teeth, you push your body even harder to get away.

 

 

>Bursting out the thick foliage, you notice there are still trees around but they seem further apart and have apples on a few.

>Running for several more meters, you stop when the growling seems pretty weak.

>You clutch at your chest as you try to get your breathing under control. You entire body--especially the injured points--is screaming at you.

"Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out."

>You continue this mantra of clam breathing for a few moments before notice the sound of something heavy coming towards you.

>You turn around just in time to be tackled by a much larger wood-wolf-thing. Most likely an alpha ma-

"FUCK!" You scream as it bites into your left shoulder and rips a chunk out.

>Twisting about you slam a right hook into the wood creature's head, though you bruise your knuckles in the process. Because you know, it's made of wood. However, your twisting and right hook is enough to knock it off of you.

>You both are back on your feet in moments. Both of you are glaring at each other.

 

>The wood-wolf is the first to make a move as it lunges!

>But you intercept its attack with a swipe from the stock of the shotgun! It's connects and the wolf is back on the ground!

>Not giving it a chance to get back up, you turn the shotgun around and begin to bash the wooden beast in the side of the head.

>You don't stop until its head is nothing but splinters of wood.

>Standing back up, you spit onto the corpse before looking around.

>You notice you vision is starting blur, your body going numb, and breathing is heavy. Not an 'exhausted after a long run' heavy breathing, a 'losing blood and struggling to get your dumbass some oxygen' heavy breathing.

>Shit gonna need to find help. But you have no idea how far you are from civilization.

 

 

>Suddenly, the sound of voices came from behind the direction of the apple trees.

>"Come on, Applejack! I heard the screams coming from this way!" Yelled out on voice in an adorable little southern accent. It was enough to give you a HNNNNG! attack if you weren't worried about, you know, the present problem of bleeding out and the possibility of you being poisoned by the manticore.

>"Girls, git back 'ere! It's dangerous that way!" A second voice called out, an older southern accent but still female and with an equally adorable southern accent.

>"But somep0ny might be in trouble!" A third slightly rough female voice sounded, most likely belonging to a tomboy.

>"Yeah! And as an Element of Harmony, aren't you supposed to help those in trouble?" A forth voice asked, a little more high-pitched than the others.

>Stumbling in the direction of the voices, the second--most likely the oldest of the four--continued to argue with the other three, trying to persuade them to come with her to safety.

 

>Rounding some trees, you spot the source of the voices. Even through the blurring of your vision, you can make out the general shape of what looks like...p0nies? Talking p0nies? Is reality really doing this to you? Wolves made of wood, a manticore, and now talking p0nies....Well, at least they aren't mole-people. Fucking mole-people.

>The oldest of the four notices you about the same time you notice them. She has an orange coat with a blonde mane and tail. For some reason she's wearing a Stetson.

>"Girls, git behind me." She tells the younger three. They give her a confused before hearing your heavy breathing and look at you. Shocked at your bloodied appearance they quickly scramble behind the larger p0ny.

>"Ah-ah don' know what ya are, but don' come any closer ya hear!" The older p0ny threatens you despite obviously being fearful of you.

Raising your hands, you say, "I mean you no harm. I just need some...oh, hello ground..." You barely finish as you fall over onto the ground.

>You lay there for a few moments before you hear them cautiously approach you. Lifting your head, you look at the four p0nies, making out the appearance of the other three.

>The three younger looking p0nies are roughly the same size. One looks identical to the Stetson-wearing p0ny, only with a large bow tying back her red mane. An orange one with a dark purple, roughly cut mane and tail had tiny wings on her sides, obviously some kind of Pegasus. The last had a whitish coat with a mane and tail colored in an assortment of light shades of purple with horn on her head.

>So you've got two normal p0nies, a unicorn, and a pegasus....Holy fuck...you really hope this is just a schizophrenic hallucination.

 

 

Turning your gaze to the oldest p0ny, you ask her, "Can...can you get me to hospital? Do you guys even have hospitals? Because...I'm doing quite a lot of bleeding here."

>"Uh, sure." She says before turning to the other three. "Girls, run inna town and git the others. Ah don' think I can lift this...thing by myself. I'mma go back to the farm and get a cart to haul him to the hospital."

>"Right Applejack!" Two of three pipe up, the third, the little pegasus, is looking right at you with a rather sorrowful look on her face.

>"Applejack, I'm going to stay here and make sure he doesn't die before you all get back." The orange pegasus tells the older p0ny that you think is named Applejack.

>"’Uh sure about that Scootaloo? We don' if this thing is dangerous or not?"

>"Don't worry, Applejack. I'm Rainbow Dash's student remember?"

>Applejack looks at you for a moment then turns her gaze back to Scootaloo with a nod. The two small p0nies and Applejack run off to execute their parts of their plan.

 

Looking at Scootaloo from your laying position, the two of you stare at each other for a few moments before you finally ask, "Your name is Scootaloo?"

>"Yeah," She responds with a brief nod. "What's your name?"

"Kanonymous."

>"That's...a really strange name."

"So's Scootaloo." You chuckle as she puffs out her cheeks. "But...if you'd like you can call me Kanon."

>"Kanon. I like that better than Kanonymous." You both chuckle at this before cough up some blood.

>She gives you a worried look before walking around you, inspecting your wounds. She stops at the shotgun, prods it with her hoof for a moment before moving back into your blurry field of view.

"Why'd you stay behind with me, Scootaloo?"

>"Because no one should die alone."

You stare at the small pegasus for several moments. "Who died?"

>She blinks a few times in surprise before she asked, "How-how did you know?"

"No one says something like that without knowing what it means to lose someone. So...who died?"

>You and Scootaloo watch each other for a few moments before she turned away, tears brimming in her eyes, painful memories pouring into her head. Sighing roughly, you reach over and pet her head.

 

 

"Sorry for asking, Scootaloo. It wasn't right of me to do so." You murmur, coughing up more blood. "Anyways...thank you....I never expected someone to...stay by my side when I died."

>"Why?"

Flipping over onto your back, pulling your shotgun onto your chest as you did so. Staring up at the peaceful blue sky, you tell her, "I always...expected to die giving myself to protect...my friends and family. Saying the most epic of lines...as my sacrifice saves the world in a brilliant flash."

>"Really? That sounds really cool. What would you say?" Scootaloo sounds sorrowful when she says this. Out of your peripheral vision you can see her move and lay her head on your left shoulder.

"I don't know..." The edges of your vision are starting to go black, your breathing heavier. "Maybe something like...’don’t worry my...friends, my love, don't...worry...as long as you...remember me...I'll never die. Keep...me...in...your....'"

>Darkness swallows your consciousness as you pass.

 

>Floating in an infinite void of...infiniteness, you glance around. You always expected you'd end up in Hell when you died, but, uh...infinite darkness and loneliness is just as nice as fire and brimstone and horrendous torture.

>Oooh! Maybe this is your torture Hell chose for you!...Doesn't make sense though? Who thought infinite darkness was a good punishment for a dead loner?

> {"Do not worry young one, ye arth not dead yet."} A female voice rings out, rather loudly.

>Dafuq.jpg

"Uhhhh...I wasn't worried, weird disembodied voice. I've been waiting to die for quite a while."

> {"Ah...well, hmm...that tis quite strange. Quite strange indeed. But the point still remains ye arth not dead yet."}

"Really? Because the above line about 'Darkness swallows your consciousness as you pass' usually implies that, I don't know, maybe I just fucking died."

> {"Oh no no no, ye just slipped into the graceful arms of unconsciousness and please watch your language."}

>You have no idea what is pissing you off more: the fact you just didn't die or the fact you were just told to watch your language by a disembodied voice.

> {"We have a name, ye know."}

>A disembodied voice with a name and can also ready your mind. Frankly, you aren't even surprised anymore. Barely a chapter in and you are already pissed the fuck off by the universe. Not dying...what bullshittery is this?

> {"Language."}

Rolling your eyes, you ask, "Okay miss voice, what is your name?"

> {"Our name be LUNA, MISTRESS OF THE NIGHT AND PRINCESS OF THE MOON."}

"Watch the caps lock! Hearing is the only sense I can trust!"

> {"Oops, hehe, sorry, we have been working on not using the Royal Canterlot Voice with our elder sister and younger sister."}

"Uhhh, key, so if I'm not dead when do I wake up?"

>{"Oh here in a few moments. Give Twilight Sparkle our regards."}

>Before you can ask a steady beeping and the sound of medical instruments working fills your consciousness.

 

 

>You can hear voices around you speaking. One is an older male voice while the other is a female voice just about your age. Every once in a while some other voice would pop up. Suddenly, you heard the one named Applejack say something.

>"Are ya sure it ain't dangerous, doc?"

>"Quite sure, Miss Applejack. It doesn't seem to possess claws of any kind and none of its teeth are made specifically for ripping meat, though it possess a pair of canines on the top and bottom of its mouth. The only thing I can't account for is its mental state."

>"...So it's not dangerous?"

>A tomboy-esque voice speaks up, "Stop worrying some much AJ, it doesn't look so tough."

>Applejack: "I don't know Dash, this thing had bite marks from Timberwolves and was stung by a Manticore and was still moving around."

>You let out a weak chuckle at this. Apparently that was an impressive feat. Okay, maybe it was but no more impressive than killing a Deathclaw with one's bare motherfucking hands.

>Gasps-a-galore for this chuckle that t'was weak!

>Opening your eyes slowly you assaulted by a barrage of color. At least seven p0nies surround you: Two unicorns, two pegasi, and three normal--if you can call the absurdly bright pink one to your left normal--p0nies. Three to your left, two to your right, and two at the foot of your bed.

"Ummm...hello there." You wave to the gawking p0nies surround the two beds you are lying in. Obviously the hospital isn't equipped for one of your size.

>Awkward silence fills the room as they simply stare at you. A light cough from your right brings your attention to a purple pony with a mane and tail color similar to Stocking from Panty and Stock with Garterbelt.

 

 

>"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Your name is Kanon, right?" The purple unicorn asks with a curious smile.

"Yes, it is. My full name is Kanonymous. But people just call me Kanon since Kanonymous is a little wieldy to say every time." He tells her returning the smile with one of your own. "It's very nice to meet you Miss Sparkle."

>"Well, at least he's polite." The unicorn to your left says in rather fancy way, her coat white while her tail and mane are a deep, brilliant shade of purple, almost akin to amethyst. "Why hello, I'm Rarity." She lifts a hoof.

>Taking her hoof, you gently place it a kiss on it, causing to elicit a small gasp and 'Oh my!'

"It's a pleasure, Miss Rarity."

>"Hey, I'm Rainbow Dash!" The blue pegasus with the rainbow mane and tail said, now floating over your bed, the wings on her back flapping softly. "If you get outta line, me and AJ will beat you right back into it." A wide grin plastered across her face.

"Oh yeah? I'd love to see you try, Rainbro!" You both laugh before brohoofing.

>Hearing a party blower being...well, blown, you turn your attention to absurdly pink p0nie next to Applejack. I mean there's just pink EVERYWHERE with her. "Hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie! When you get out the hospital I'll throw you a 'Welcome to P0nyville' Party!" She exclaims loudly confetti exploding quite literally out of fuck nowhere.

"Sweet diggity daffodil! Can't wait to get out now!" You exclaim just as loudly.

>A hearty chuckle brings your gaze to Applejack. "Well, might as well introduce myself. Ah'm Applejack. Sorry about threatin' ya back there. Gotta look after kin all." She tells you while scratching the back of her head.

"Don't worry about it, AJ. Gotta look after family and friends before all else." You tell her, give her mane a reassuring ruffle.

>A small movement in the corner of your eye brought your attention to the sixth and final p0ny, a pegasus with a cream colored coat and dull pink mane and tail. She seemed really nervous and was hiding behind her mane with only part of her face visible.

"Hello there, I'm Kanon." You tell her in a soft voice, waving to her. A soft squeak comes from her as she scrambles over behind Twilight.

>Twilight giggles at her friends’ reaction. "Don't worry; Fluttershy is just nervous around new people. Just give a day or two and she'll warm right up to you." You nod to this with a soft smile.

 

 

>"Well, since everything seems alright and you're mentally sound, you can leave after you fill out some paperwork." The doctor tells you before heading out of the room to grab the paperwork.

>Everyone seems ecstatic about this, especially Pinkie Pie, but all you can must is a chuckle.

>Not a happy chuckle. Instead it's a chuckle at just how wrong the doctor is...

'Mentally Sound...hehe...' A voice in the back of your mind whispers to you.

>A voice you and a few other Equestrian beings are all-too-familiar with.