AmericAnonymous One-Shots

>Day Shitty-ass One Shot

>Sombra has somehow came back to life and defeated the Elements of Harmony.

>"Bwahahaha! I, King Sombra, have come back to life and defeated the Elements of Harmony!" Sombra chackled evilly as he stands before the defeats Elements.

>See? What did I tell you? Straight the horse's mouth.

>"I'm a pony thank you very much."

>Shut it dickwragon.

>Anywho, then suddenly, the sound of a thousand angels screaming their lungs out fills the air. Actually, it's the sound of a rocket thruster but that doesn't matter.

>There you, AmericAnonymous, are crossing the horizon while standing a top of a BGM-109C Tomahawk Cruise Missile giving him the ultimate middle finger: Your dick is out and your pressing your middle finger against the back of your dick so it looks like you are flipping him off with your dick.

>A pair of orange triangular shades sit on your face while an Old Glory bellows from your shoulders. Besides that, you are completely naked.

>The cruise missile is painted up to look like a giant dick, so you can make the later one-liner.

>The last thing Sombra hears before getting hit in the face with a giant penis missile is...

"AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!"

>The Elements of Harmony sit up and watch in awe as you walk out of the explosion completely unphased.

>You walk up to them and spit out the cigar in the corner of your mouth.

"Looks like he's been..." You pull out a second pair of shades, aviators this time, and place them on your face. "Toma-fucked."

>With that, you pull out a boombox and walk off into the sunset blasting 'America! Fuck Yeah!'

 

********

 

>Day Fuckery is Goin' Down

>Apparently Chrysalis has a thing for fillies because she has kidnapped the Cutie Mark Crusaders and has taken them to her giant castle thing.

>"Did anyone hear a loud disembodied voice?" Queen Chrysalis asked loudly quickly looking around.

>Some nearby changelings quickly shake their heads.

>The Elements of Harmony are taking the pansy way to the castle through the Everfree Forest.

>You're already at the castle thanks to a tac-drop by a V-22 Osprey.

>"Seriously, no one else hears that voice?"

>"I think I do." Scootaloo speaks up as she raises a hoof hesitantly.

>"See? I'm not crazy!" Chrysalis is pointing at the orange pegasus as she yells at her changeling.

>A trio of knocks come from the massive doors that lead into the lobby.

>"Someone go get that."

>A small changeling by the name of Ling trots up to the doors and calls out. "Who is it?"

>Suddenly, the massive doors are blown clean off their hinges by a powerful explosion. Poor little Ling is killed instantly.

>You, AmericAnon, come storming in wielding a apir of M60's and in your normal battle gear of a Star-Spangling cape and a pair of triangular orange shades behind a pair of black aviators. Besides that, you are still butt ass nekkid.

"American motherfuckers!" You bellow before laying down a fire on the hapless changelings.

>Behind you comes SEAL Team Six.

>Or the closest you could get at short notice, which happens to be a team of highly trained actual seals.

>The Most Epic of Epic Battles takes place between You and SEAL Team Six against Chrysalis and her Changelings.

>Toss aside your M60's you charge Chrysalis, bellowing like a true American. She follows suit, blasting you with sickly green bolts of magic but you are protected from her commie ways by your pure patriotism.

At the last moment, you jump into the air while throwing your crotch forward and yelling, "Pelvic Thrust Punch!"

>Chrysalis is instantly vaporized by the pure amount of manliness behind your attack.

Landing back on the ground, he look at the CMC. "All in a day's work for AmericAnon and SEAL Team Six."

>With those final words, you leave the castle with the heavily armed seals.

>Minutes later, the Elements of Harmony gallop through the front door only to find the aftermath of the battle and three very confused fillies.