Title:           Iron Chef
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/KwqaNqHQ
First Edit:      Monday 11th of June 2012 06:25:17 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 11th of June 2012 06:25:17 PM CDT

1/5
>Kitchen Stadium is the arena where the Iron Chefs await challenges from master chefs all over the world.
>Both the Iron Chef & challenger have 1 hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day.
>Using all their senses, skills and creativity, they're to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before.
>And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Chef, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame forever.
>What inspiration will today's challenger bring?
>And how will the Iron Chef fight back?
 
>Be the challenger.
>Iron Chef's Japanese, French, Chinese & Italian rise up on lifts.
>Dry ice fog for dramatic effect.
>Chairman Kaga asks which one you choose to challenge.
>Iron Chef Japanese; Morimoto Maraharu.
>Now Chairman Kaga unveils today's theme ingredient.
>Table rises on hydraulic lift.
>More dry ice fog, very dramatic.
>Chairman Kaga whips off cover.
Fuwafuwa Poni!
>In a small pen about 20 fluffy ponies cry and hug in fear.
>The studio lights, loud noise and fog are terrifying.
>Good...good.
>Every gourmet chef knows, fluffy pony is best if the animal is fresh and terrified.
>Fear releases extra hormones and endorphins into the meat.
>Normally, fluffies this scared would be pooping.
>You know all these have been washed out.
>Baking soda & scalding water enema.
>Everything is ready.
>1 hour.
>Begin!
 
2/5
>Rush to the pen...select 7 good looking fluffy ponies.
>Hand them to your assistants as you pick each one.
>Fluffies squeal and try to escape.
>You reach for one...it runs...Chef Morimoto grabs it!
>This battle will be hard fought.
>Still plenty of fluffies left.
>"WhaaaHH!" "Fwuffy scawed!" "Pwease nu huwt fwuffy!"
>Take the theme ingredient back to your area.
>Fluffy liver pâté de foie gras is a good start.
>You can get things started and let your assistants finish.
>Grab a fat orange earth fluffy.
>The animal screams ands beats his stubby legs, running in thin air.
>Tack him to cutting board...push 4 heavy pins through his hooves.  
>Fluffy screams in pain, but there are no TV microphones near.
>Might be annoying for the audience.
>Fluffy pony freezes in terror when it sees the knife.
>"Nuuu...pwease nu shawpy huwt! Fwuffy nu wan' owwies!"
>Slice open fluffy belly carefully...don't want to damage liver.
>Mash up fluffy liver.
>Marinade in fine Cognac.
>When it's done it will be garnished with truffles.
 
>Assistants can handle the rest...move onto the next dish.
>Fluffy leg meat is very tender.
>Perfect for stuffed pastry puffs.
>Luckily you still have your orange friend.
>A few quick slices, peel his leg fluff off.
>Good thing you pinned him down...he's thrashing in pain.
>Carve the tender leg meat off.
>Wrap in pastry dough.
>Bake for 20 minutes at 400F.
>That's two dishes...what next?
 
3/5
>Pull the back-strip meat off several screaming fluffies.
>Marinate in spices & grill.
>It's simple, but effective.
30 minutes to go...
>Maybe a cocktail would work.
>You have a few fluffies still clinging to life.
>Carefully collect their tears.
>It's a lot of effort, but the fluffies have a lot to cry about.
>Mix fluffy tears with sweet vermouth.
>4 dishes so far...is it enough?
>One of Morimoto-san's assistants comes over.
>"Are you using the tongues?"
"No, I hadn't planned on it."
>Chef Morimoto yells at his assistant in Japanese.
>Doesn't like his assistant giving clues to the opponent.
>Sends him back to the holding pen for new fluffies.
>Now you know Morimoto's plan.
>His fluffy pony tongue stew is legendary.
>You're worried.
>You'll need something spectacular & creative to beat him.
>Run back up to the pen to see if anything is left.
>Morimoto has taken all the fluffies but one.
>You can hear their gurgling screams as they have their tongues cut out.
>In the pen...jackpot!
>A fat fluffy mare nursing her foals.
>That gives you an idea.
>Grab the mare...foals tumble off her belly.
>"Nuuu! Fwuffy wan' babbees!"
"Relax, your foals are coming too."
>Gather up her three crying foals, take them too.
 
4/5
>3...2...1...hour is up!
>It's time for the judging.
>Today's guest judges.
>Obligitory old Japenese lady food critic.
>Handsome actor.
>Dingbat cute girl actress.
>The Yokozuna Akebono.
 
>Iron Chef Morimoto offers 4 dishes.
>Fluffy pony Basashi first...on a bed of seasoned ginger & onion.
>Next, barbecued fluffy, grilled in shiso leaf.
>Morimoto's fluffy tongue stew is a big hit as usual.
>To finish, tea with fresh fluffy mare's milk.
>The judges write down their scores.
 
>You are next.
>You offer 5 dishes.
>You start with your grilled fluffy pony strips.
>Tasters give it good reviews, but it's a little too similar to Morimoto's barbecue.
>Next your cocktail.
>The giggling actress likes its sweet flavor.
>Next your foie gras.
>Okay...but the old food critic lady says it's more influenced by the truffles than the fluffy pony liver.
>Now the pastry puffs.
>The judges think they're a bit greasy.
>You need a big sucess with your last dish.
 
5/5
>Fluffy foal stew.
>The judges are amazed.
>You have slit the fluffy mare up the belly, removed her organs.
>Cut her sternum, pulled the ribs aside.
>Hold her chest/abdomen cavity open with a steel hoop.
>The cavity is lined with rice paper.
>Best of all; the fluffy mare is still alive & conscious to keep it all warm.
>Into this living bowl is poured a stew of her own foals.
>The judges are impressed.
>The flavor is praised.
>The presentation is novel & creative.
>The tasters retire to consider their scores.
 
>Moment of truth.
>Chairman Kaga has the scores in his hand.
>Who takes it? Who's cuisine reigns supreme?
>Challenger; Chef Anon!
>You are victorious.
 
>Your restaurant becomes world famous.
>It takes months to get a reservation.
>Everybody wants to try your fluffy foal stew.
>Your dish is immitated all over the world.
>Hundreds of thousands of fluffy foals are served in soup bowls made of their own living mothers.
>You gain the people's ovation and fame forever.