Title:           Hooks
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/nJpBDpFr
First Edit:      Friday 4th of May 2012 12:13:42 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 4th of May 2012 12:13:42 PM CDT

>Have been having a problem with stray fluffy ponies.
>House has screened in back porch.
>Porch has cat door.
>Big enough for fluffy ponies to get in.
>And they do.
>Fluffy ponies come in at night to get out of the weather.
>Shit on the floor, eat houseplants.
>Could just board up the cat door.
>No...you're more creative than that.
>Line cat door with fish-hooks.
>All around inside...points facing out.
>Get liquor, wait until dark for results.
Fluffy ponies arrive.
>First one boldly hops thru cat door.
>Fluff instantly gets stuck on fish-hooks.
>"Owwie! Am stuck!"
>Struggles to free himself.
>Makes things worse.
>Outside fluffies getting impatient.
>"Go in!" "Why stop?" "Owside dawk, scawy!" "Wan' inside!"
>Struggles of stuck fluffy pony turn into panic.
>"Stuck! Hewp, pwease hewp!"
>Outside fluffies don't understand, they're getting angry.
>"Fwuffy meanie!" "Why not wet inside?"
>Begin to headbutt his ass.
>Makes things worse.
>Fish-hooks finally dig into fluffy flank meat.
>Trapped fluffy pony howls in pain, legs thrashing to escape.
>Cries piteously; "Owwwieee! Stop push fwuffy! Fwuffy stuck! Hewp!"
>Angry outside ponies kick to dislodge him.
>Screaming fluffy is ripped by fish-hooks.
>Kicking and headbutting shatters pelvis.
>Massive internal injuries.
>Fluffy pony dies.
>Finally, mangled corpse is forced thru cat door.
>Next fluffy happily hops inside.
>Caught on fishooks.
>Entire process begins again.
>Goddamn it these things are stupid.
>Should have brought more liquor.