- >Have been having a problem with stray fluffy ponies.
- >House has screened in back porch.
- >Porch has cat door.
- >Big enough for fluffy ponies to get in.
- >And they do.
- >Fluffy ponies come in at night to get out of the weather.
- >Shit on the floor, eat houseplants.
- >Could just board up the cat door.
- >No...you're more creative than that.
- >Line cat door with fish-hooks.
- >All around inside...points facing out.
- >Get liquor, wait until dark for results.
- Fluffy ponies arrive.
- >First one boldly hops thru cat door.
- >Fluff instantly gets stuck on fish-hooks.
- >"Owwie! Am stuck!"
- >Struggles to free himself.
- >Makes things worse.
- >Outside fluffies getting impatient.
- >"Go in!" "Why stop?" "Owside dawk, scawy!" "Wan' inside!"
- >Struggles of stuck fluffy pony turn into panic.
- >"Stuck! Hewp, pwease hewp!"
- >Outside fluffies don't understand, they're getting angry.
- >"Fwuffy meanie!" "Why not wet inside?"
- >Begin to headbutt his ass.
- >Makes things worse.
- >Fish-hooks finally dig into fluffy flank meat.
- >Trapped fluffy pony howls in pain, legs thrashing to escape.
- >Cries piteously; "Owwwieee! Stop push fwuffy! Fwuffy stuck! Hewp!"
- >Angry outside ponies kick to dislodge him.
- >Screaming fluffy is ripped by fish-hooks.
- >Kicking and headbutting shatters pelvis.
- >Massive internal injuries.
- >Fluffy pony dies.
- >Finally, mangled corpse is forced thru cat door.
- >Next fluffy happily hops inside.
- >Caught on fishooks.
- >Entire process begins again.
- >Goddamn it these things are stupid.
- >Should have brought more liquor.
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Hooks
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