Title:           Fluffy hates sports: Part 2
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/zaEHNPFv
First Edit:      Monday 3rd of September 2012 08:10:06 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 3rd of September 2012 08:10:06 PM CDT

PART 2
1/2
>You've got pretty bad anger issues.
>You get way too upset over sports results.
>Beat the shit out of some college fuckheads in a bar.
>Went to jail for felony assult.
>Yeah, you got your ass raped.
>Raped a few asses as well.
>That's just what prison is like.
>You got a problem with that?
>5 years inside.
>Now you're out.
>Your court appointed psychiatrist recommended you re-direct your anger.
>"Get a fluffy pony."
>"Any time you feel angry, hurt it instead of people."
>It's totally legal, nobody gives a fuck about those vermin."
>Now you have a fluffy pony.
 
>It's been two weeks since his last beating.
>Tiger Woods missed a putt on the 16th hole.
>You went ape-shit.
>Beat fluffy savagely.
>Stabbed him with eleven golf tees.
>Shoved a #3 iron up his butthole.
>Grip end...not the head itself.
>Fluffy's injuries are healing.
>He can almost poop without crying again.
>Tonight is gonna be a good night though.
>The Olympics are on...swimming tonight.
>350m relay, the US has a good shot at gold.
>Fluffy sees you turn on the TV.
>He whimpers in fear.
>"Daddee watch TV, see hoomans pway games?"
"Yes, boy."
>Fluffy pony begins to cry. "Whhaaa! Owwwiiieees coming..."
"Hey! Be quiet, the USA is gonna win!"
>WTF!? The French beat the US?
>USA only got silver?
>It's that fucking fluffy pony's fault!
>He jinxed it with his whining.
>Yank fluffy out of his cage.
>He's squealing in terror.
>"Pwease nu owwies daddee! Fwuffy sowwee!"
"Time to learn how to SWIM, fluffy."
 
2/2
>Fluffy shrieks and cries.
>He's terrified of water.
>You have a pond in your back yard.
>Tie some line around fluffy's neck.
>Stand on the bank of the pond.
>"Pwweese nu thwow fwuffy in watew! Fwuffy scawed."
>You throw him alright.
>All the way across the pond.
>He lands on his face with a painful crash.
>Fire your starter's pistol.
>"Whhhaaaahhhh!" screams fluffy as you yank the rope.
>You pull him in so fast he just gets dragged across the surface.
>Fluffy pony does not drown.
>Soaked fluffy reaches your side of the pond.
>Pick him up, toss him over again.
>"Nuuuuuuuuu!!!" *thud*
>Pull him back across the pond.
>"*cough* Pwease...pwease...*cough*...nu mowe watew!"
>Fluffy is not showing his Olympic spirit.
>Toss him over again, drag him back again.
>8 more times before you're calmed down.
>Okay...the silver medal isn't so bad.
>Fluffy is soaked, filthy with mud & pond scum.
>He's coughing, puking up water.
>"Fwuffy cowd...pwease inside?"
"Are you fucking stupid?"
"You're wet, you stink...you're spending the night outside."
>"NUUU! Fwuffy scawed! Dawk! Munstas! Pwease inside!"
>Hammer a tent-peg into the ground.
>Leash crying fluffy in the back yard.
>You'll hose him off and let him back in tomorrow.
>More Olympics to watch now.