Title:           Fluffy Foal Fanbelt Fail
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/BjXbVwF3
First Edit:      Thursday 6th of September 2012 08:59:57 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 6th of September 2012 08:59:57 PM CDT

1/4
>You crashed your car last week.
>A herd of fluffy ponies stupidly wandered out into the road.
>You hit them.
>Spun out on their guts and shit.
>Car was totaled.
>Now you're fighting with your insurance company.
>You think the accident should be covered.
>They say you need special "fluffy pony insurance."
>Fuckin' crooks.
>Just like the bastards who didn't pay your Hurricane Katrina claim.
>They said "No, hurricane insurance doesn't pay for that, you need flood insurance."
>That's why you moved North.
 
>Still need to get to work.
>Get a beater car until the insurance company replaces yours.
>It sucks, but it runs.
>The heater barely works and it's fucking cold.
>Drive it home.
>Two stray fluffy ponies are in your driveway.
>You'd hit them, but look what happened last time...
>They start begging as soon as you get out of the car.
>"Pwease Mista new daddee? Fwuffy cowd...babee cowd...hungwy!"
>Kick mare with extreme prejudice.
>Her foal squeals, scampers after her.
"You shit-rats get out of my driveway before I warm you up with my propane torch!"
>Fluffy mare shivers and cries, the whimpering foal huddles in her fluff.
>"Pwease, pwease gif nummies...wet inside. Dawk time so cowd!"
"I SAID GET OUT!"
>Shreiking fluffy ponies flee in terror.
>They didn't even poop.
>They must be really hungry.
>Good...hope they die.
 
2/4
>Wake up for work the next morning.
>Coffee, breakfast, newspaper.
>It's still really cold...the roads will be icy.
>Want to get an early start.
>Go out, get in car, turn the key.
>Hear a horrible screech...it even scares you.
>Pop the hood release, get out of the car.
>The momma fluffy from yesterday is out there.
>She's running around in circles, panicked.
>"Whhhaaahh! Hewp fwuffy! Munsta get fwuffy babee!"
"What the hell happened?"
>"Mista hewp fwuffy pwease!"
>Slap her across the face.
"Tell me what you did!"
>Fluffy mare sobs in terror, explains what happened.
>"Fwuffies vewy cowd in dawk time. Babee cwy...so cowd."
>"Fwuffy nu can make babee wawm...put babee in wawm pwace!"
"Wait a fucking minute, warm place?"
>"Fwuffy put babee in wawm pwace...Munsta get babee! Hewp babee pwease!"
>Awwwwwwwwwwww shit.
>Dumbass momma fluff lifted her baby up to the warm engine of your car.
>She has oil stains on her fluff...must have been sleeping underneath.
>When you started the car...
>Pop the hood open.
>Blood, guts, fluff and shit all over your engine bay.
>Half of a fluffy foal still caught in the fan belt.
 
3/4
>Mangled fluffy foal is still alive.
>He's wheezing, panting in agony.
>His tiny body is ripped to pieces.
>"Hewp babee! Pwease gif babee!" cries the momma.
>You pull him out of the fan belt...foal screams.
>Throw him at his mother.
>Wet bloody foal hits her in the face.
>"Whaaaahhh! Babee! Pwease nu cwy...momma gif huggies!"
>Sobbing hysterically she hugs her mutilated baby.
>"Mista pwease hewp! Babee haf tewwible owwies!"
>Help a fluffy? Fuck that.
>Grab the mare by the scruff...she drops her baby.
>"Whhaa! Babee! Pwease fwuffy down!"
"Listen you little shit-rat, you made this mess, you clean it up."
>Toss her in the engine bay.
"Lick up the blood, lick up the guts, lick up the shit."
>"Whhhaaa! Nu wan! Fwuffy wan' hewp babee!"
"Clean it up or I kill your baby."
>Put your foot on foal, press down.
>Incredibly, it still squeals in pain.
>"Babee! Nu huwt fwuffy babee!"
"Then clean this shit up. Maybe if you do a good job I'll help your baby."
>You're lying of course.
>You're going to kill them both.
 
>Crying fluffy mummy licks up her baby's entrails.
>She keeps begging "Mista pwease hewp babee...make babee wawm!"
>Zero fucks are given.
>Just point at spots she's missed.
>While she cleans you call your boss.
"Yeah, I'm gonna be late...car trouble."
>"Fluffy ponies again?"
"Yes, fucking fluffy ponies again."
>Boss laughs "You have shit luck, Anon."
>Hear him telling everyone at the office.
>They're all laughing.
 
>Fluffy momma is still licking up her foal's guts.
>Crying and begging you to save him.
>Keep your foot on the wiggling foal.
>Call the auto parts store next.
"I need a new fan belt."
>Good...they deliver. It'll take an hour.
 
4/4
>"Fwuffy cwean up messies, hewp babee now?" sobs mummy.
>Look down. Foal has already died.
"You did a bad job, so now your baby dies."
>Momma fluff screams "Nuuuuuu!!!"
>Stomp on dead foal.
>Mare jumps down from your engine bay, tries to run to her baby.
>nope.avi
>Grab her...don't even let her hug the dead foal.
>You have a metal fence with spikes on the top.
>Impale squirming fluffy pony a spike.
>Straight up the butt so she's facing you.
>Fluffy screams in agony and thrashes to escape.
>Look in the poorly cleaned engine bay.
>Pull the broken fan belt out.
"I told you yesterday to get out."
>Fluffy momma can't respond, she just twists and cries in pain.
>Begin beating her with the broken fan belt.
>This ain't no mild "spankies wif sowwee stick."
>You intend to whip her to death.
>Lashes land on her face, one eye is mangled.
>One lash hits her teats, swollen from suckling.
>Fluffy screams as bits of flesh & blood fly.
 
>Neighbors come out to see what's going on.
>Explain what happened, never stop beating fluffy.
>They get some coffee and come watch.
>Their kids come out to watch too.
>Carry their pet fluffy pony outside to watch.
>"See, this is what happens to bad fluffies."
>Pet fluffy cries in terror, forced to watch another fluffy tortured to death.
 
>Your arm gets tired.
>Leave bloody, ruined fluffy sitting on the spike.
>You'll let her die slowly, in agony.
>Hose out engine bay.
>Parts store delivery driver shows up.
>Helps you change the fan belt.
>Asks if you wanna buy some weed.
>Might not be such a bad day after all.