Title:           Fluffy Butt Trimming
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/qJnc8Srw
First Edit:      Wednesday 2nd of May 2012 04:38:37 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 2nd of May 2012 04:38:37 AM CDT

1/3
>Fluffy ponies poop a lot.
>You know this.
>Fluff around asshole and hindquarters can get pretty nasty if you don't keep it trimmed.
>Most fluffy owners let veterinarian do this.
>Be cheapskate.
>Always do it yourself.
>4 fluffy ponies to trim today.
>Tools; electric shears, straight razor.
>In case of cuts, rubbing alcohol, candle, small screwdriver.
>Light candle, keep it far away from flammable fluffy fluff.
>Gather up four fluffy ponies in a box.
>Fluffies can not escape.
>Get them excited about this.
"Okay, if you behave yourself and don't move you get a treat."
>Remind them what happens if they do move.
"Remember, if you move you will get hurt."
>Fluffy ponies whine.  "No owchies.  Fwuffy be good!"
>Random pick; blue Earth Pony stallion is first.
>Shears first, cut away wads of overgrown butt fluff.
>Fluffy pony whimpers in fear at buzzing.  
>No fluffy likes the noise of electric shears.
>Razor next.
>Touch up work around fluffy butthole.
>It's super effective.
>goodjob.jpg
>Blue earth stallion is finished, gets a fat strawberry.
>Devours it with gusto.
>One down.  Other fluffies are less nervous now that one has gone well.
>Next.
 
2/3
>White & brown pegasus mare is next.
>She's whimpering as soon as she hears the electric shears.
>Starts squirming.
>Set shears down; quick thwack on her nose.
"Behave and stay still or no treat."
>Show her the box of strawberries as positive motivation.
>She gets through the shears part.
>Razor time.
>Very careful not to cut fluffy pony butthole.
>See wings start to twitch.
>ohshit.mov
>Fluffy pony panicks and tries to escape your grip.
>Tiny cut on butthole.
>Fluffy ponies are hyper-sensitive to pain.
>Fluffy mare howls and struggles to escape.
>Gotta lock her down.
>Back legs between your legs so she can't kick.
>Left arm holding tail up.
>Fluffy pony can't move; cries out loud.
>"Pwease no mo' owwies! Pwease let go!"
"I told you to stay still.  Now I have to clean this up."
>Tiny cut.
>If you were shaving your face it would be nothing.
>This is a fluffy pony butthole.
>Cut must be cleaned or fluffy will get infection and die.
>Fluffy is squirming to get free, crying the whole time.
>Deep breath.
>Reach for the alcohol.
 
3/3
>Swab fluffy pony butthole with alcohol.
>Hyper-sensitive fluffy pony shrieks and fights to escape with all her feeble strength.
>"Owwwie! Owwie! Pwease no more huwt poopies hole!"
>Working as fast as you can, but can't rush things too much.
>Heat up small screwdriver with candle.
>Fluffy pony can smell what's going on.
>"Nooo! Pwease Daddy...not hot huwt on poopies hole!"
"Try to hold still, this will be over soon..."
>Cauterize the tiny cut.
>Fluffy mare is screaming in agony.
>Cut is sealed up.
>Smear some antiseptic ointment on for good measure.
>Exhausted fluffy pony finally released.
>Too tired to run from you.
>She really shouldn't get a treat...she squirmed.
>Can't really deny her after that ordeal, even if it was her fault.
>Pat on the head; offer treat.
>Fluffy mare accepts her strawberry, shuffles off to corner and nibbles it slowly.
>Blue earth stallion gives huggies.
>At least he doesn't try to steal her strawberry.
>Remaining two fluffies have been watching in horror.
>Realization that one of them is next sinks into their feeble brains.
>Total panic in the box.
>Both fluffies screaming and running aimlessly.
>Bouncing face-first off wall of box.
>This shit happens every time.
>Next two are gonna be a chore.
>Neither one will hold still.
>Both are obviously gonna get cut.
>Take a deep breath.
>Eat a strawberry.
>Make sure alcohol, candle and screwdriver are ready.
>Grab #3.
>It's gonna be a long day.