Title:           FluffTV: What Will Fluffy Do?
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/JLzwAf9K
First Edit:      Thursday 6th of September 2012 03:48:26 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 6th of September 2012 03:48:26 AM CDT

1/3
>You work for FluffTV.
>The channel for fluffy ponies & their loving owners.
>Your department: Original Programming Development.
>A new show just came out.
"What Will Fluffy Do?"
>Pretty simple "Candid Camera" style premise.
>Put a fluffy (who does not know it's being filmed) in some bizarre situation.
>Film the reaction.
>The bits are all pretty benign.
>In one, a fluffy momma finds an orphaned foal in her basket.
>In another, a shelter fluffy with no toys suddenly has 100 balls.
>One fluffy gets magnetic blocks, so he thinks he's a master builder.
>It's always something happy & d'awwww inspiring.
>Fluffies never get hurt or scared...they never even cry.
>Don't want to upset the fluffy pony audience.
 
>The show gets mediocre ratings.
>It'll run a full season, but probably no more.
>Unless you can spice it up and attract viewers.
>Decide to take the show on the road.
>Film in various cities, with real fluffy owners in the audience.
>That might drum up local interest and add viewers.
In Orlando...
>Filming an episode at a theme park.
>Latest gimmick; it's broadcast live.
>Test audiences seemed to like seeing cute fluffy antics in real-time.
>The show begins.
 
2/3
>First fluffy pony gets to play with a ball.
>Not an ordinary ball...a hamster is inside.
>Extra care is taken to ensure fluffy safety.
>The ball is shut tight.
>An angry hamster can easily kill a fluffy pony.
>Audience is cued to recite...
"What Will Fluffy Do?"
>Fluffy is puzzled.
>"Hewwo widdle bawl fuzzy."
>Audience laughs at charming scene.
>"Wan' pway?"
>Hamster does not want to play.
>Real animals instinctively hate fluffy ponies.
>Hamster is no exception.
>Even from inside the ball he attacks fluffy.
>Frightened fluffy squeals and flees.
>It all happens so fast.
>Panicked fluffy trips the boom-mic man.
>He falls into a stage light.
>It tips over, falls on fluffy.
>One halogen bulb shatters, showering fluffy in glass shards.
>Bulb contacts arc out on fluffy.
>Fluffy shrieks in agony as AC voltage courses through his little body.
>Only one bulb broke; the other 3 are still on.
>Intense heat begins to cook fluffy.
>His fluff smokes and catches fire.
>Fluffy howls in unbeliveable pain.
>He's being electrocuted and burned alive at the same time.
>In seconds a set hand rushes in with an extinguisher.
>The electricity is cut off.
>Fluffy is still alive.
>He is a horrible sight.
>3rd degree burns, no fluff, patches of skin gone.
>He's blind, but his lidless burned eyes continue to move.
>Fluffy never stops screaming.
>The set hand mercy kills him with the fire extinguisher.
>It takes 4 heavy blows.
>Oh shit...you never stopped filming.
>This is all going out live.
 
3/3
>The cameraman stayed locked on the scene the whole time.
>The director never cut away.
>Everyone realizes their mistake.
>The audience, made up of fluffy ponies & owners, is freaking out.
>Screaming & crying.
"Cut to commercial! Cut to commercial!"
>Fuck...this is bad.
>FluffTV does not air the rest of the episode.
>They show an episode of "Babies!" instead.
 
>The network is furious.
>FluffTV is supposed to be safe, happy viewing for fluffies & their owners.
>The show is sure to get cancelled.
>But something unexpected happens.
>The video goes viral on the internet.
>FluffTV is flooded with letters, calls & e-mails begging for more.
>The network reconsiders.
>They move "What Will Fluffy Do?" to the 9pm time slot.
>After most fluffies have gone to bed.
>You re-tool it...now it's darker, more dangerous.
>A lot funnier.
>You hire the hot models with the big tits.
>Now fluffies are put in potentially lethal situations.
>If they live, they get spaghetti.
>Seriously though, they never live.
>Fluffies always find some stupid way to die.
>Usually something even the writers didn't expect.
>The show is still random & funny.
>But it gets high ratings now.
>After 4 weeks you beat "Babies!" and become the network's #2 show.
>Still can't overtake "Let's play with Cinderella".
>Fuck.